0:06 - 0:13
Podcasts, there are millions of them.
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Some might say too many.
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I have one already.
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I don't have any because there are enough.
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Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
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Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man?
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Possibly. But not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more.
0:54 - 0:56
Day before yesterday, Max?
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The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
0:59 - 1:04
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
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And I'm David O'Doherty.
1:05 - 1:18
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? My name's Max Rushden. Alongside me today, Irish comedian David O'Doherty. Hello, David.
1:18 - 1:22
It's great to finally get the nod and be on your podcast, Max. Thank you very much.
1:22 - 1:28
I've never seen your stuff. I don't know much about you, but I've heard good things on The Grapevine.
1:28 - 1:37
I've also got along for the ride with me today one of my favorite new Irish comedians of recent times.
1:37 - 1:48
Her name is Kyla Cobbler. I mean, people that know her will generally have come at her stuff from her millions of Instagram followers.
1:48 - 1:56
Her stuff is so funny and beautiful and slice of life. And we get a real glimpse of that today.
1:56 - 2:06
We get cat stuff. We get pressure of buying clothes stuff. I mean, I don't want to give it away too much.
2:06 - 2:10
No, no. There's... I was going to give a spoiler, but I will talk about it in the debrief.
2:10 - 2:25
Okay. Okay. Kyla's going absolutely gangbusters. The big gig to plug, I guess, is I think it's the 27th of February. She's playing the Three Arena in Ireland, which is the largest indoor venue.
2:25 - 2:30
She did not need to do this podcast, but she was very kind.
2:30 - 2:34
Well, in many ways, everyone needs to do this podcast.
2:34 - 2:37
Yeah, I guess that is true.
2:37 - 2:44
I mean, does anyone... Does anybody need to do any podcast? I mean, I'm not trying to do podcasts down. Need is an interesting word, isn't it?
2:44 - 2:58
You might... Like, I think about Waleed Aly so much, former guest on the podcast, who is, you know, an Australian public intellectual, but definitely thought you were asking him to be on your football podcast.
2:58 - 3:04
So I didn't sort of backdoor Kyla into this one, you know, with the promise.
3:04 - 3:05
She knew what was happening.
3:05 - 3:09
Yeah, she definitely knew that. That's how I book my guests.
3:09 - 3:20
But through the episode, you can sense between the lines, there is an underlying desire from her to be on Football Weekly. That's what really comes up.
3:20 - 3:27
This is what Kyla Cobbler did yesterday.
3:27 - 3:35
Kyla Cobbler, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
3:35 - 3:38
Thank you, Max. I'm happy to be here.
3:38 - 3:39
I'm happy you're here.
3:39 - 3:53
To the listeners, we know that Max's life, I mean, I'm not saying my life's really organized, but I've never known someone to eat a bowl of meatballs so close to the beginning of a podcast.
3:53 - 3:59
Without introducing himself to me either, just came in hot with the meatballs in his mouth. It was very uncomfortable.
3:59 - 4:07
Do you know what? I've never, Kyla, I've never introduced myself to anyone before I've eaten a plate of meat and rice in front of them.
4:07 - 4:11
Which is awkward at like dues where you're meeting more than one person.
4:11 - 4:15
Yeah, and then Dave went, oh, Max is in Melbourne, as if that makes, I was like, so?
4:15 - 4:16
But it is dinner time.
4:16 - 4:23
You don't get to like meatball me because you're in Melbourne. Stop throwing all these M's in my direction. Sort your life out.
4:23 - 4:26
I have a question, Kyla. Are you lying down for this podcast?
4:26 - 4:28
Yeah, I am lying down in this podcast.
4:28 - 4:30
Excellent. Well, what a relaxed approach to podcasting.
4:30 - 4:34
Good, I thought you were going to give me shit there. I was like, fucking come at me.
4:34 - 4:37
No, not at all. You can be in any position you want for this recording
4:37 - 4:45
Well, I just ran out of CrossFit class early to do this. So I'm committed to you guys. And I'm better than you because I worked out.
4:45 - 4:50
And endorphins are surging through your hot bod.
4:50 - 4:52
Surging through my hot bod.
4:52 - 4:58
My fear is, the pillow is, is that enough? Will your neck get achy?
4:58 - 5:09
You know what's so annoying about that? This is my fucking husband does this to me all the time. You don't look comfortable. You don't look comfortable. I like a hard wooden. A fucking shelf resting on my skull.
5:09 - 5:15
It's my neck that needs the support, okay? Otherwise I'll lie right down and I'll fall asleep.
5:15 - 5:23
As yet, no guests. All guests have stayed awake for the whole record. We're very proud of that record that we have.
5:23 - 5:27
Yeah. Okay, let's get down to business then, Carla. What time did you wake up yesterday?
5:27 - 5:32
Yesterday I woke up at 7.30. 7.34 to be exact. I don't know how exact you wanted me to be.
5:32 - 5:33
Exact, please.
5:33 - 5:34
Yes. Okay, 7.34.
5:34 - 5:38
Is that typical? Is that a time? Is that an alarm that goes off? 7.34.
5:38 - 5:49
No, it's not an alarm. I'm definitely an early bird, but I'm an extra early bird in the summer and I just got back from Australia. So I do, I'm kind of living the tail end of a jet lag. 7.38 would be my time.
5:49 - 5:55
Would you have woken up later if you hadn't, if your head hadn't been like 90 degrees against a wooden bookshelf?
5:55 - 5:59
Well, joke's on you because I slept downstairs and you didn't ask that question. So good podcasting.
5:59 - 6:09
Question. Where do we find you? You wake up for a moment. You're like, I'm Irish, but where am I?
6:09 - 6:10
I'm in London.
6:10 - 6:16
I slept in the lounge last night. I brought the mattress down and we slept in the front room.
6:16 - 6:25
Because we got a kitten and we also have a cat. So we're trying to integrate and we just have to be there all the time to let them like hang out and stuff.
6:25 - 6:26
And they're not allowed upstairs?
6:26 - 6:29
No, they are, but the kitten can't get upstairs. We didn't want to leave them out.
6:29 - 6:31
Are you worried that the cat might try and kill the kitten?
6:31 - 6:37
Yeah, she has one eye and we adopted her. I don't know how that happened. So I can only imagine the past, that she's rocking up with.
6:37 - 6:39
Does she have a little patch?
6:39 - 6:44
She does on the functioning eye, which is gas. We just do it to fuck with her.
6:44 - 6:51
So when you wake up, what is the arrangement? You, Mr. Cobbler and the cat and the kitten either side?
6:52 - 6:58
No, so we wake up, normally Clopsy's up here. She's actually here with me now. Do you want to see her?
6:58 - 7:04
Oh yeah, there. I just see the evil silhouette. I'm sorry. Evil was the first word that came to mind.
7:04 - 7:15
So we wake up and then we call, we call Clopsy down, she comes down to cuddle and then we go and open the door for the kitten in front of the office and then the kitten comes out and then they have a very intense good morning conversation
7:15 - 7:23
with hissing and then a little bit of playing and then Clopsy remembers that he's on her territory so she hisses again and yeah, it's been like that for a few days.
7:23 - 7:26
What's this name, Clopsy, as in the clock?
7:26 - 7:27
Clopsy, like Cyclops.
7:28 - 7:31
One-eyed. That's the kitten or the cat?
7:31 - 7:35
The cat is Clopsy, the one-eyed cat is Clopsy and then the kitten is called Capo, which is Italian for boss.
7:35 - 7:36
Right. I see.
7:36 - 7:42
Does the name Clopsy predate the loss of the eye? In which case, I've got questions.
7:42 - 7:50
Then I would be the ultimate manifester. No, no, no, no. We got her like that. We got her like that. Her name was Mila when I adopted her, but that sounds slutty, doesn't it?
7:50 - 7:52
It sounds like a hoover.
7:53 - 7:54
Mila, hoovers, yeah.
7:54 - 7:57
A slutty hoover, the slutty hoover.
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A whore of a hoover.
7:59 - 8:00
You'd suck on her.
8:00 - 8:02
You'd suck everything up.
8:03 - 8:04
Sorry, I'm really sorry.
8:04 - 8:10
Who did we once, we once talked about trying to put your will in a Dyson in this podcast. So I feel we've covered that already.
8:10 - 8:12
Michelle Wolf does a whole bit about it. Was it Michelle?
8:12 - 8:18
Yeah, it was with Michelle. And then once again, the sponsorship from Dyson didn't come through.
8:18 - 8:19
No. Dyson, come on.
8:19 - 8:26
But hang on, if you are trying to integrate the kitten, why is the kitten in an office is closed away for the night?
8:26 - 8:38
Because you can't just put them in. They'd be like gladiators in the arena. You have to like slowly like get them, it's called scent swapping. So you have to like get them in different bits of the house, rubbing on everything, getting their smell on everything.
8:38 - 8:40
And at some point then they just embrace.
8:40 - 8:43
I mean, that's the plan. Or one of them dies.
8:43 - 8:44
Oh my goodness.
8:44 - 8:48
Either a fight to the death or a love puddle. I don't know.
8:48 - 8:52
Yeah. What do we do? We presumably, we feed these animals. Is this the first?
8:52 - 9:00
So yeah, wake up 7.34. We do the scent swapping. I make coffee. Simon got the food ready. And then we fed them on either side of the same door. That's another thing you have to do.
9:00 - 9:03
So the big one doesn't steal the little one's dinner?
9:03 - 9:13
No, I just think because that's the most territorial moment is their food. So it's really important to get them like near each other while they're eating. Because otherwise that would be like a high pressure moment of attack or conflict.
9:13 - 9:18
Sounds to me like the Run DMC versus Aerosmith video for Walk This Way.
9:18 - 9:31
I think so. Where Run DMC are rehearsing in one room and Aerosmith are rocking out in the other room. Someone puts a foot through the door and they do walk this way. That's what you're hoping for.
9:31 - 9:44
I think they put a foot through the wall, actually. So it'd be like Clopsy just like scratching. It's so hard. It goes through. I have a question, which is that is the technical moment where you have to kind of, you've got the two bowls of food.
9:44 - 9:50
You have to shut the door and the cats are around you. That's quite, there's a bit of a dance that you've got to do.
9:50 - 10:01
Well, I think you're imagining like Tiger King with the meat and the lions jumping up. Like it's, they're just house cats. So it's not that stressful. You just like walk into one room, close the door, put the food down, walk out and then put the food.
10:01 - 10:06
Like I don't balance everything. I do it step by step. And I also have a partner.
10:06 - 10:13
God damn it. I'd imagine them as tigers this whole time. I'd imagine them a jaguar.
10:13 - 10:16
I'm going to make that clear. They're just house cats. They're domesticated cats.
10:16 - 10:20
Look, I appreciate you because quite often in podcasts, people sensationalize things, you know.
10:21 - 10:28
To try and get the big Instagram clip. We don't put anything, any video out anyway. So I'm glad that you've taken it back to reality.
10:28 - 10:40
They're just cats. If Kyla had chosen to go with the tiger thing, I think it would dominate any future publicity. that you ever do. It would be, she lives in London with two tigers.
10:40 - 10:51
I just want to be known for that. You know what I mean? Yeah. My success is my own. I don't want it to be about the tigers and the big cats I have in London in my apartment. It is frustrating. I want people to see me for me.
10:51 - 10:57
Yeah, I understand that. Okay, so the cats have their Sheba. You've got a cup of coffee. And now what's happening?
10:57 - 11:00
Then I go upstairs and I do my skincare routine.
11:00 - 11:06
Right. Here we go. Is it a comedy routine about skincare? You do it into a camera.
11:06 - 11:18
I just wear a GoPro and go nuts. Content, content, content. Am I right? No, I just go up. I have my own little bathroom here. So I go and I have a little mitten and I clean my face with a little mitten.
11:18 - 11:29
And then I put cleanser on and then I do an even tone serum and a vitamin E serum. And then I put on SPF 50 and then I get changed into my workout gear.
11:29 - 11:32
I have less of a skincare routine.
11:33 - 11:37
How sort of sloppy is your face? After two serums and an SPF?
11:37 - 11:40
They're really well designed to absorb into the pores.
11:40 - 11:44
So it doesn't sit on the surface. It goes right in there.
11:44 - 11:47
It's not just all the cream on my face for ages.
11:47 - 11:51
I was imagining just sort of like Vaseline, like half a tub of Vaseline.
11:51 - 11:55
I'm not all lubed up at the start of the day.
11:55 - 11:59
Okay. How long does that routine take?
11:59 - 12:10
That takes about seven minutes. It takes under 10 minutes, which I like. Now, I'm sure you could do it a bit more slower and I'm sure you could be a bit more or, you know, take your time. But I just don't have time for it with the tigers.
12:10 - 12:22
Do you have a music on while you're doing it? Or is it fully? I'm imagining the ASMR of it all. Yeah, yeah. On your face then. Like that.
12:22 - 12:31
You're both making it very clear that you've never moisturized just by the assumptions that are in the questions you're asking.
12:31 - 12:40
It's been established that David's head is larger than some of the dwarf planets. And so there just isn't the moisturizer in the world.
12:40 - 12:42
There's not an industrial moisturizer.
12:42 - 12:47
No, if he was to moisturize, no one else would be able to. And he has made the ultimate sacrifice.
12:47 - 12:55
Wow. For the greater good. No, yesterday I listened on Mondays. I listened to the Chani podcast. It's an astrology podcast. So I listened to that yesterday when I was moisturizing, but I didn't get through it.
12:55 - 13:00
That's how I knew it was seven minutes. Cause it was a 10 minute podcast. And I got through seven minutes of it and I was kind of gutted.
13:00 - 13:02
And what's Chani saying?
13:02 - 13:03
Do you know what she said? She said.
13:03 - 13:04
Don't go out today.
13:04 - 13:16
Sometimes. No, she said. Sometimes there's weeks when loads of stuff happens. And sometimes there's weeks when major transits happen. And she goes. And this week, it's just one of those weeks where sweet fuck all is going on. Which I love.
13:16 - 13:24
Yeah. Is she doing a podcast for each different star sign? Cause they can't all be nothing's fuck all's going to happen this week.
13:24 - 13:34
That's the general reflection of what's going on. And then you can pay extra subscription and you can get your personal reading done every week as well for like Pisces rising or whatever you are.
13:34 - 13:35
I understand.
13:35 - 13:36
But next week is, it's a big deal.
13:36 - 13:38
Oh, why? What's happening next week?
13:38 - 13:47
Next week, Jupiter and Venus are in conjunction. So it's like lucky, lucky, lucky lottery number, lucky, big abundance. A lot of good shit is coming.
13:47 - 13:50
Venus, the hottest planet in the solar system.
13:50 - 13:57
No, the hottest, cause even though it's second from the sun and Jupiter, the largest, obviously of the gas planets.
13:57 - 13:59
And obviously it make me feel stupid, Max.
13:59 - 14:06
My four year old has gone to the solar system three weeks ago. So there is, if you'd asked me three weeks ago, I wouldn't have known anything. But now.
14:06 - 14:09
I like that your four year old is learning that much. That's so good.
14:10 - 14:13
Does he go to like a good school?
14:13 - 14:15
He does the Chani podcast.
14:15 - 14:19
He's an avid listener of Chani Nicholson.
14:19 - 14:27
I used to do, you'll both remember this. I used to do the overnight show on BBC London in about 2006, two till six in the morning.
14:27 - 14:29
We loved it in Ireland. Yeah.
14:29 - 14:30
I mean, it was huge.
14:30 - 14:32
It was all we listened to.
14:32 - 14:44
And I don't know if I've told this before, but on one night we did astrology for two hours and a nice lady came in, Australian lady, I forget her name. And the phone lines went mad. I mean, it was like three in the morning, but literally it was insane.
14:44 - 14:52
And someone rang up to say, look, I can't remember her name, but she used to ring all the time from two till six in the morning, all the time.
14:52 - 15:01
She'd say, look, my node is in Neptune and Pluto is moving West. And I am wondering, I'm in finance and my career isn't going well.
15:01 - 15:14
And I just wondered, does that have anything to do with it? And before the astrologer, could say anything, I did say, look, I don't want to lose listeners, but do you think the fact that you're awake between two and six every morning has some impact?
15:14 - 15:27
Kyla, we've moisturized. We've got the 50 on. That implies we're going to go out at some stage. I'm interested in that, but I want to know what you did next.
15:27 - 15:36
Next, I went downstairs. I had my workout gear on and then I went down to CrossFit. I locked the kitten in his room and as we dungeon, and then I went, I went to CrossFit.
15:36 - 15:41
Tell us about CrossFit. It's where everyone's really angry, isn't it? That's why it's called CrossFit.
15:41 - 15:48
No, no, no. You got that wrong there now. You just lean too heavily into the vocabulary instead of asking about the meaning.
15:48 - 15:56
No, CrossFit is functional training. Would you believe? And it was made by the Navy SEALs years ago and then Reebok rebranded it as CrossFit.
15:57 - 16:03
And it's just functional training. So yesterday I did force, which is just weightlifting basically.
16:03 - 16:07
Is there just a group of randoms? And there's someone yelling at you?
16:07 - 16:19
No, he doesn't yell. He didn't yell. His name is Tom. He just encourages you. And you're in a group, you go into pairs and you just have to do a series of exercises on different body parts.
16:19 - 16:23
And usually they focus on one muscle group every day. So yesterday I lifted heavy.
16:23 - 16:26
Had you ever met your weights partner before?
16:26 - 16:28
Yeah, it was my husband.
16:28 - 16:30
Oh, okay. And you had met him before?
16:30 - 16:32
I knew him well, if you know what I mean.
16:32 - 16:42
Kyla, do you have to motivate him? Do you have to motivate him slightly? Do you have to be like, this is why your aunt doesn't ring you, you know, just while he's doing chin-ups?
16:42 - 16:49
No, no, he knows that's his personality. That's nothing to do with fitness levels. That's just his whole outlook on life.
16:49 - 16:50
If you're lifting heavy?
16:50 - 17:00
Me heavy isn't heavy. I mean, you could lift heavier than me, but I mean, I was doing front bar lunges and stuff like that. And I mean, I love dead lifting, but because I'm so tall, squatting is always going to be difficult because I'm just a lengthy woman.
17:00 - 17:01
Eight foot four.
17:01 - 17:05
I'm eight foot four. That's why I've got tigers. I thought they were cats. Turns out they were,
17:05 - 17:07
just really far away.
17:07 - 17:08
I'm just huge.
17:08 - 17:10
That's why she has to lie down.
17:10 - 17:14
Yeah. You stand up, you just hit the ceiling. Can't see me.
17:14 - 17:18
Do you set any PBs in this heavy weight lifting?
17:18 - 17:23
No, no, I only just started. I'm just learning the movements. I'm just trying to do heavy lifting. That's it.
17:23 - 17:34
Kyla, is there a motivational vibe to, is there a sort of band of brothers slash sisters to CrossFit where you're all like, come on, do it?
17:34 - 17:38
Well, we're in London, so it's a little, it's not like the American style. It's not as enthusiastic.
17:38 - 17:49
There's like loud music and it's like, it's like, cause I don't really go out anymore to like clubs. So it is cool to go and like listen to some bangers and just get sweaty and feel good. And then it's done in 45 minutes.
17:49 - 17:50
I need to get back onto that.
17:50 - 17:59
Yeah, bro. Seriously. Cause also it's just elongates your life. I just want to be strong when I'm old. I just don't want to be an old woman all frail. I just want to be like a bit strong so I can still enjoy stuff.
17:59 - 18:01
Power lifting as an 85 year old.
18:01 - 18:07
Yeah. Or just like tying my shoelaces and sitting down in the toilet and all. Do you know what I mean? I just want to be able to do like the basics.
18:07 - 18:20
I've always wondered in the gym, like the music is always so shit. And like, you can still lift weights to like acoustic classics. Like if you put extremes more than words on, you could still lift heavy.
18:20 - 18:23
You could lift in candlelight if you wanted.
18:23 - 18:31
You pave the way you put on your AirPods, you bring your candles, get weird. You do it. Yeah. Just not at CrossFit. Cause the whole point of CrossFit is like, yeah, let's go.
18:31 - 18:34
But if on CrossFit, they put on Marvin Gaye.
18:34 - 18:37
And Marvin Gaye is so funky.
18:37 - 18:39
It's a great choice of song.
18:39 - 18:42
Nora Jones. But they put on, Nora, come away with me.
18:42 - 18:46
I mean, I think it would bring down the vibe, but I think it would be reflective and probably kind of beautiful.
18:46 - 18:57
So what I'm imagining here, and when I open my gym, it's going to be Downton themed. Okay. So just stirring string quartet music is playing. It's all candles.
18:57 - 19:02
The weights are on tea trays. Like it's very mannered. You stand with incredible posture.
19:02 - 19:10
Tea tray is in like metal or like bar, trays because tea trays would be so hard to carry with a heavy weight. I mean, a bar tray, I think we can carry.
19:10 - 19:18
No one's got a bar tray in Downton. No, in Downton, no one ever comes in with like eight pints on a tray, holding it above their heads.
19:18 - 19:21
That's a really good idea for a gym. What are you going to call it?
19:21 - 19:23
Jimton Abbey, downtown,
19:23 - 19:27
uptown Abbey, you know, so there's the downtown.
19:27 - 19:29
Tea tray training. TTT.
19:31 - 19:34
Tea tray training with David O'Doherty. TTT with DOD.
19:34 - 19:41
And, it'll be like this. My Lord requests you lift another five kilos. Stuff like that.
19:41 - 19:43
Wow. We'd all have hunchbacks.
19:43 - 19:58
Would you, you know, because you're serving the big dinners in the cloche, would you have increasing weights of cloche? Of cloche. Like you're on the 25 kilo cloche. You have to really like. It's like butler training, but extreme.
19:58 - 20:09
Yeah. Opening a really heavy door. You've got to stay silent because you're a butler. You can't make any noise. Move swiftly and quietly. All right.
20:09 - 20:13
So where are we off to after CrossFit?
20:13 - 20:28
It's breakfast time. So I go to CrossFit and then I come back and I finished CrossFit at 1030 and I have a cab booked for 1130 to go into town. Wow. So I'm like, I got to get back. I got to sort out the kitties. I got to have a shower. I got to eat my breakfast and I got to have another coffee.
20:28 - 20:29
That was a very tight hour.
20:29 - 20:31
Do you have to moisturize again?
20:31 - 20:32
No. Just twice a day.
20:33 - 20:34
Morning and night.
20:34 - 20:40
After a sweet workout, like that, what do you eat? You can eat whatever you want. You could have a massive bowl of Crave.
20:40 - 20:41
What's Crave?
20:41 - 20:47
Briony May Williams' daughter eats it. It's a little knockoff of a really sweet.
20:47 - 20:48
It's so random.
20:48 - 20:50
It's quite a niche reference, isn't it?
20:50 - 20:54
And you didn't listen to the episode that came out two days ago.
20:54 - 20:59
What do you have for breakfast? You probably have like a sweet potato or something, do you?
20:59 - 21:03
I have Greek yogurt, granola, and chopped fruit and honey.
21:03 - 21:06
Wow. You're so healthy. This is incredible.
21:06 - 21:14
It's so good, especially because it's watermelon season. Watermelon and honey. Oh my God, that texture where it's like sticky and wet. Oh, it's so fresh and tasty.
21:14 - 21:19
I'm not sure about, I think watermelon is too watery in a yogurt.
21:19 - 21:31
Now, Max, you've got to focus on the granola. The granola is probably the main ingredient. I think people go too hard on the fruit and it's all portions. You have to make sure even, because I'm a big texture person, so you've got to make sure it's not wet.
21:31 - 21:37
You have to make sure it's nice and crunchy and seedy. And then the Greek yogurt is more of a mixing paste.
21:37 - 21:38
Yeah, right.
21:38 - 21:42
You know, it's not dominating the bowl. It's not, nothing's floating.
21:42 - 21:47
Although in the supermarket, people do steer clear of Greek mixing paste for their...
21:47 - 21:48
That's the title of it.
21:48 - 21:50
That's the title of the yogurt.
21:50 - 21:58
Why? Greek mixing paste? I think that sounds GMP. I think that sounds very official and I'd be very into that. If they sold GMP at DOD's TTT.
21:58 - 22:11
Kyla, I have a question for you. As one of the healthiest people I know, do you get the full Greek yogurt the 10%, the 5% or the 0% fat Greek yogurt?
22:11 - 22:22
So what I get is I get the full Greek because this is going to blow your mind. I think the microbiome in the full Greek yogurt is probably better for my gut health.
22:22 - 22:36
Now, controversial. I think people will come back at me for that. But I feel like there is a such thing as good fats. I'm not against fat. I just want my gut health to be... I want to be pooping regularly. I don't want to be bloated.
22:36 - 22:37
I want to be comfortable.
22:38 - 22:43
Now, in saying that, if I get there and there's a, you know, a light one or a 0%, I'm not fussy.
22:43 - 22:54
Because to be honest, lads, I don't even like Greek yogurt that much. I just like it. I know, but it's just very good for me. And it's just nice. I love granola. I'm a seed person. I love nuts and seeds.
22:54 - 22:56
What's your granola of choice?
22:56 - 22:59
You're going to hate me for this. It's a keto one. It's a very, very healthy...
23:00 - 23:01
It's ketamine.
23:01 - 23:02
Ketamine granola.
23:02 - 23:10
I was deep in a kettle. That water, men and honey, wasn't even real. I was just all wet and sweaty. And I was like, I'm watermelon and honey and I'm on ket.
23:10 - 23:14
But it's not just... It's ket, oats and almonds and a few raisins, isn't it?
23:14 - 23:28
No, so it's just like... It's what I have. I have almond and coconut. So I have... It's all like sunflower seeds, roasted almonds and roasted coconut. But I don't have any of that shit you buy in the supermarket. I don't have any of that like really sugary stuff. I don't like that.
23:28 - 23:39
Yesterday, I was getting a coffee for my beloved, the Helen Copter. And I definitely... She said oat flat white. And what came back was a coconut flat white.
23:39 - 23:47
And it was like drinking a cup of Ambre Solaire Factor 50. It was one of the worst things I've ever...
23:47 - 23:49
I know, it's so gross.
23:49 - 23:51
I know. We put it in a bin and then...
23:51 - 23:51
As you should.
23:51 - 24:02
I did feel bad putting it in a bin, but yeah, it was just... It wasn't getting any nicer. I gave it five drinks. While you're... Do you bring Mila and Klopsy together for the duration?
24:02 - 24:05
Mila's not her name. It's Klopsy and Kapo.
24:05 - 24:10
Klopsy is the artist formerly known as Mila and then they cut her eye out and changed her name to Klopsy.
24:10 - 24:11
Sorry, Kapo.
24:11 - 24:16
We opened the doors and we let them kind of be in each other's... just exist together, basically.
24:16 - 24:28
Now, I'm interested in you having a taxi booked because, you know, notoriously, London is a place, you know, you're better off getting on the tube, aren't you, Carla? So where are we going? Is someone putting this taxi on for you?
24:28 - 24:36
No, so I booked it because I had to go into Oxford Circus or what's it called again, that place where the big shopping centre is. Go to the shopping... I hate shopping.
24:36 - 24:37
Oxford Street.
24:37 - 24:50
So much. And I have a wedding at the weekend and I need to get a dress for the wedding. And I fucking hate shopping and clothes and all that stuff. So I was like, I'm just going to go in. I had an outfit prepared that it's easy to get changed in and out of.
24:50 - 25:01
So I was like, I'm going to go in, I'm going to try on those dresses, I'm going to buy one and I'm going to leave. So it was like a mission. It just made it easier in my head. It took me like 30 minutes in a cab and it would have taken me like an hour and a half by transport.
25:01 - 25:03
Did you leave the cab running and just went in?
25:03 - 25:11
No, it's not America's Next Top. Not model, not that loaded. I'm getting keto granola, it's costing me a fortune. I got to save when I can.
25:11 - 25:22
In my vision of this, Max, Kyla's fella is, so the cab's running and he's just got this increasingly high tower of boxes he's holding in his hands.
25:22 - 25:24
So I left him, I left him at home.
25:24 - 25:25
Okay, yeah.
25:25 - 25:37
I don't like shopping. I don't want someone there with me trying to distract me. And also when I try something on and then someone's like, don't buy the first thing you try on. So then you listen to them. And I was like, I know what I like and I don't want to be talked out of it.
25:37 - 25:41
Did you chat to your taxi driver or are you sitting in silence for the half an hour?
25:41 - 25:46
On the way in I didn't, but on the way back I had the most beautiful, I had two beautiful interactions yesterday.
25:46 - 25:47
Really nice.
25:47 - 25:50
Hold them while we buy the dress. Where are we going?
25:50 - 25:51
Selfridges.
25:51 - 25:57
So, Kyla, there's loads of dresses on the internet. There's over a thousand dresses.
25:58 - 26:03
Yet you need to put it on to see if it's right in a mirror.
26:03 - 26:06
I'm very tall, Daithi. I'm much taller. Much taller than the average woman.
26:06 - 26:09
We've been through this. Eight foot four. You have to go to a special shop.
26:09 - 26:12
I'm eight foot four. Could you take this down a little bit?
26:12 - 26:13
Curtain shop.
26:13 - 26:15
Three meter curtains in a toga.
26:15 - 26:20
I carry a lightning bolt. Am I a Greek god? I don't know. You tell me.
26:20 - 26:32
So, first one you try on. What are you thinking? Is it a big sort of dabs vibe to it? Has it got a fish tail?
26:32 - 26:37
No, no. It's just like a long, lovely long dress. Like a lovely butter yellow long dress.
26:37 - 26:39
Are we in Selfridges? Where are we?
26:39 - 26:40
We're in Selfridges.
26:40 - 26:41
What a guess.
26:41 - 26:43
Quite intimidating. It's intimidating.
26:43 - 26:48
Well, you know, it's not for me because I worked in fashion in Milan and I know that all those skanks.
26:49 - 26:57
Yeah, I did. Years ago. I lived in Milan for like seven years and I worked in fashion for a while. I've been in like the big Selfridges and I've worked in those places. So, I know.
26:57 - 27:01
Okay, lift the lid. It's all bullshit, isn't it? Just put everyone in tracksuit trousers.
27:01 - 27:07
Do you know what, Max? Denuinely, it is. Denuinely, it's such cock. Such bullshit.
27:07 - 27:09
What way is it such cock then?
27:09 - 27:21
It's just very superficious. Exactly. What it says in the tin, it's just very superficial. Like you might have like two leather bags, same cow, same leather, same treatment and then you put two different logos on it and one costs 20 grand and the other costs a thousand.
27:21 - 27:33
Now, not always. I mean, there is fashion houses that are incredible. You know what I mean? Like Armani is a beautiful fashion house. Valentino is a beautiful fashion house. Like there is true artists left in the industry, but a lot of it is just dog shit.
27:33 - 27:38
I would like it if when you buy the bag, it shows you the picture of the cow it came from.
27:38 - 27:44
I used to work with leather and women used to come in and be like, it's changed shape. And I'm like, well, it's skin.
27:44 - 27:45
Oh, don't say that.
27:45 - 27:51
But it is skin. That's a sign of a good leather bag. Like it's going to move. It's like when you buy leather shoes, you don't want big rigid shoes your whole life.
27:51 - 27:55
That sounds like the sort of customer services that people would expect in high-end Milan.
27:55 - 27:56
It's fucking skin.
27:56 - 27:58
It's fucking skin.
27:58 - 28:00
Get me my Greek mixing paste.
28:00 - 28:08
So question, if you know it's bullshit, why are you in Selfridges? You know, surely you're in the know. You go down to...
28:08 - 28:21
Well, because there's still some beautiful brands. Like it's not all... Also, what's wrong with bullshit? You know what I mean? We live in a lot of bullshit. If we were living the way we should be living, we'd be living seasonally off the land. Like it's all bullshit. Might as well, you got to eat it sometimes.
28:21 - 28:25
Here's a quiz, D.O.D. We have to both guess which number dress is the dress.
28:25 - 28:27
Oh yeah, this is good.
28:27 - 28:29
I say dress three. What do you say?
28:29 - 28:35
The initial two are nice, but in Kyla's head is the don't pick the first one.
28:35 - 28:41
But then she leaves it too far. So it's actually dress 10 is the one.
28:41 - 28:43
Okay, talk us through the dresses.
28:43 - 28:45
I tried on the first dress and I loved it.
28:45 - 28:46
Can't have it though.
28:46 - 28:49
Can't have it. Listen to Mary, my mom, in my head.
28:49 - 28:51
It's just skin. It's just skin.
28:51 - 29:01
And then I tried on like literally about 10 more dresses and then I went back and bought the first one. D.O.D., you know me. You read me like a book, David. You read me like a book.
29:01 - 29:02
Tell us what it's like.
29:02 - 29:11
It's very normal. It's just nice. Just a long yellow dress. Kind of like Grecian kind of. It's like a high kind of collar, long. It's lovely. It's very basic.
29:11 - 29:13
It would have loads of smiley faces on it.
29:13 - 29:14
Yeah, it's just acid tabs.
29:15 - 29:17
Just acid tabs all over it.
29:17 - 29:21
I like the Pope. The Pope's most dope is written on the back of it.
29:21 - 29:23
Juicy on my arse.
29:23 - 29:28
Right, so then we're back in the taxi.
29:28 - 29:32
We need shoes. We need shoes that match. I know about outfits.
29:32 - 29:34
I already have shoes at home.
29:34 - 29:36
Yeah, Kyla's got loads of shoes.
29:36 - 29:39
I bought one pair of gold heels about four years ago and I've worn them ever since.
29:39 - 29:40
What about a hat?
29:40 - 29:42
No, I'm not. The mother of the bride.
29:42 - 29:44
What about a fascinator?
29:44 - 29:46
A flower that attaches to your bicep.
29:46 - 29:48
Too many tattoos.
29:48 - 29:49
What is a fascinator?
29:49 - 29:56
It's like a little mosquito net slash coffee filter gauze that you put on your head.
29:56 - 30:05
I mean, it kind of is. It's like chicken wire. It's like what you make in school. It's like what your four-year-old is making in art class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might give it. I might give it.
30:05 - 30:08
Do we need a bag that matches the...
30:08 - 30:10
No, I don't need a bag.
30:10 - 30:14
You're trying to... Upsell, David. She's not upselling. You're trying to upsell.
30:14 - 30:20
It's not my arena. I'm not a... I'm not a... I don't care about that. I just can't be fucked. I just need something simple, easy.
30:20 - 30:24
Weddings are tricky for me. I have to wear a suit and I just look like the accused, you know?
30:24 - 30:28
So now we have our lovely interaction with the taxi driver.
30:28 - 30:29
No, Max. Oh, God.
30:29 - 30:30
Yeah, sorry.
30:30 - 30:33
Let's both try and guess how much this cost.
30:33 - 30:34
Oh, yeah, good. Okay.
30:34 - 30:36
I'll go first this time.
30:36 - 30:37
Selfridges isn't cheap.
30:37 - 30:45
But there's no way Kyla would just be drawn to... something for a grand. So I'm going to say 280 pounds.
30:45 - 30:48
Wow. Because in my mind I had...
30:48 - 30:50
It was 280 pounds! Come on!
30:50 - 30:54
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Two out of two.
30:54 - 30:59
This is great. David, are you my soulmate? What is this? 280 pounds.
30:59 - 31:07
I've planted a chip in Clopsy and I've been getting fed a lot of information through the other eye.
31:07 - 31:08
I am the kitten.
31:08 - 31:13
David, you now have to guess. What is the name of the taxi driver if we have that all...
31:13 - 31:16
I didn't go straight to the taxi, lads. You're skipping ahead.
31:16 - 31:17
Oh, what happened? Sorry.
31:17 - 31:20
I went to the Apple store. I had to buy a new phone.
31:20 - 31:22
Wow. Okay. What happened to the other one?
31:22 - 31:25
The other one just stopped bloody working. So fucking annoying, isn't it?
31:25 - 31:29
But is it not with a phone company so that you could be like...
31:29 - 31:30
No, I just buy them.
31:30 - 31:31
They're so expensive, Kyla.
31:31 - 31:37
But I have money put away for work, things like that, because it's for work. So I have it on my business account.
31:37 - 31:51
The Apple store is interesting, isn't it? So somebody who's about eight years old has a... an iPad and they meet you at the front in a blue polo shirt and then you get put on a waiting list. Because you want to buy a phone, do you get sort of fast-tracked? How long are you waiting there?
31:51 - 32:06
So I go up and I ask, I'm like, hey, can I... I just need to buy a new iPhone. And he was like, all right, bruv, I'll put you on the express checkout. And I was like, all right, grand. So then I went up to the express checkout and then the guy was rude to me. He was so mean to me. If you're listening, you fucking little prick. I was like, I just want to buy like an iPhone.
32:06 - 32:18
He's like, yeah, what iPhone? And I was like, well, there's 17, there's pro and there's max. I was like, yeah, but like, just give me the one that I need with the most storage because I do like content and stuff.
32:18 - 32:30
And he was like, you know, this is an express checkout. And I was like, well, I didn't ask to be put here. I only came in to get a phone. So then he put me on the normal list. So that was a bad interaction. I was not impressed with that.
32:30 - 32:35
Hang on, the express checkout is not a place for chat. It's just a place for, I want this.
32:35 - 32:37
I mean, zero chat, not even a hello. Zero chat.
32:37 - 32:40
You need to know everything if you want that.
32:40 - 32:54
And then, I got put in the other checkout and then he kind of backtracked though because then they expected me to bite back when I was like, the other fella put me here. I didn't come here. And then he was like, I'll just make you wait by the flower pot. And I was like, yeah, you fucking will make me wait by the flower pot, bitch.
32:54 - 33:03
And then I went to the flower pot and this is when I had the lovely reaction. So I'm sitting at the flower pot and wearing shorts and this really old lady with white gloves on, just to give you an idea what a legend she was.
33:03 - 33:15
I say she's got 107 and she like waddles up to me and she was like, I have to say, legs out is very nice. I went, oh, thank you. And she was like, I don't like tattoos myself, but I must say I like your tattoos.
33:15 - 33:28
And I was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And I was like, well, at least you can appreciate the art. And she was like, you know, I bought a 16E and I am a master of language. I studied in Portugal and nobody knows what E stands for. Turns out it's economical.
33:28 - 33:41
What a load of bullshit. And she just had this absolute rigmarole of conversation with me. She was great crack. She was lovely. She was Portuguese. Yeah, so nice.
33:41 - 33:45
The white gloves. I mean, I like it as a look, but it makes me think
33:45 - 33:47
snooker referee. She's a snooker referee.
33:47 - 33:48
It was Michaela Tabb.
33:48 - 33:57
Although it's very rare that a snooker referee is really verbose and shouting, isn't it? You know? Yeah. And another thing, John Parrott. Let me tell you, John Parrott.
33:57 - 34:07
She was shouting. She was shouting. And she had bought her phone from this other guy there like two years ago when she was trying to find him. And she was like to the, my guy was called Cain, the guy that was helping me.
34:07 - 34:22
And she was like to Cain, she was like, he has a big, tall, Jamaican man, balding, a balding Jamaican man. Have you seen him? I was cracking up. I was like, well, I love you. You're a fucking legend. She is so cute.
34:22 - 34:25
So you've been sent to wait by the flower pot, which is great.
34:25 - 34:29
That was Steve Jobs' last words. Make them wait by the flower pot.
34:29 - 34:34
Is Cain the man you've been, is he a new man that comes to help or the same guy?
34:34 - 34:35
Yeah, he's lovely.
34:35 - 34:36
We love Cain, okay.
34:36 - 34:39
But normally in the Apple shop, I mean, they're trained to be nice, aren't they?
34:39 - 34:40
Yeah, they are.
34:40 - 34:54
He was really nice to me and he was just like, yeah, like chatting away to me about everything and telling me the different things and then I ended up just getting the 17. I just told him, look, I just need, I'm on airplanes a lot. I do a lot of content. I have a lot of downloads. So I just need it to be like a mini computer. Like I use it a lot for work.
34:55 - 35:04
So he was like, look, you can get the pro for like this much more, but unless you care about the camera and I was like, I just make videos. I don't really need anything for pictures or anything.
35:04 - 35:08
You don't want the max because the max is too big to fit in your pocket.
35:08 - 35:09
Yeah, yeah, it's big.
35:09 - 35:12
So the pro just has a slightly better camera on it.
35:12 - 35:24
Because I got a new phone recently and I bought one and then immediately found that I'd forgotten to ask for the one with the larger memory so that my phone was perpetually saying it was full.
35:24 - 35:26
It's so fucking annoying.
35:26 - 35:39
Helen just said to me, you could actually trade it in if you've only had it for a couple of weeks because she saw that most of my life was me making these agonizing decisions of which photos of dead people I was going to have to delete from my phone.
35:39 - 35:49
Yasser Arafat. Gotta get rid of Yasser Arafat. It's been too long now. Okay, so we have the nice interaction. We get our new phone. Now what's happening?
35:49 - 35:55
Sorry, tech point just to interrupt. Kyla, the old phone's dying or possibly dead.
35:56 - 36:02
Did you back it up onto your computer or cloud? Will you be able to put its whole brain onto the new one?
36:02 - 36:08
What you do with the iPhone, that's why I need you to email me. What you do is you put them together head to head and it just transfers.
36:08 - 36:09
It's really exciting, isn't it?
36:09 - 36:14
Do you know what? It's just easy. It's so easy. And I love that. I love a frictionless life.
36:14 - 36:18
Maybe you could try with the cats. If you just got the two cats and brought them together.
36:18 - 36:20
That's actually genius, David.
36:20 - 36:32
They could perform a transfer from one to the other. But then the poor Clopsy would just keel over then. Or at least you put Clopsy in a drawer and offer him to friends in the future. But no one wants it.
36:32 - 36:36
I know. Can you imagine? Just give it to an open mic-er. You can use that if you want.
36:36 - 36:38
Here's the one. One-eyed cat.
36:38 - 36:44
I remember when I was starting off. You use that. You take it. It's got no charger. You have to buy a charger.
36:44 - 36:59
There are a few adverts where they say your old one-eyed cat could be really useful for someone less fortunate than you. Please donate. It's just taking up space in your house. Donate your one-eyed cat. We've done the phone. Now are we getting in the taxi?
36:59 - 37:06
So I walk out of the Apple shop in Regent Street and then I just get in a taxi. I just flag one down and I'm like, let's just go. So I get in a taxi.
37:06 - 37:16
He stopped and I got in and at the beginning there was no chat because I was just making phone calls and like telling Simon I was on my way home and ringing my mom,
37:16 - 37:31
my sister and stuff to get the phone calls done for the day. And then toward the end of it, he made a comment about the traffic and I was like, yeah, I was like, it's pretty gnarly, isn't it? And he's like, yeah, it's bad. And then I don't know how we started chatting, but we started talking about, we started talking about Ireland because he was like, oh, you're Irish.
37:31 - 37:45
And I was like, yeah, I'm Irish. And then he was like, loads of my friends are Irish. And I was like, well, lucky you. And then he was telling me about this guy called John Egan, who was a retired London cabbie who lives in Skibbereen in West Cork. And I was like, well, my mom lives in Skibbereen. So then I text my mom being like, do you know John Egan, the retired cabbie from London?
37:45 - 37:52
And she was like, no, who is he? And I was like, no, it doesn't matter. Will you bring me coffee? Yeah, of course. I love you. And sorry, my husband just.
37:52 - 37:55
Helen, will you make me coffee? Helen! She's not working.
37:55 - 38:06
He just popped his head in. So it was quickly, it was like, cafe, please. And then we were having the chat and then he started talking. He was like, what's the immigrant situation like in Ireland?
38:06 - 38:17
And you know what? It's so funny. I've been stuck in those situations before. I'm not trying to like whatever about taxi men, but it has happened frequently in taxis. Sometimes I just don't say the right thing because I'm like, I don't want to like cause.
38:17 - 38:31
And then I was like, made a pact with myself. I was like, I'm going to really try and like have a conversation instead of just being like, yeah, whatever. And I was like, you know what I think that the world is lacking? I was like, just lacking a bit of kindness. And I was like, because, you know, it's just the right wing has come in.
38:33 - 38:46
Government are all fucking us all over and we're fighting each other. And the more we fight, the less progress we make. And even the words we say. And I said to him, I goes, cause you know, the words we speak at the house we live in and we have to be careful about that.
38:46 - 38:58
Cause he had like religious stuff on his thing. So I was like, he's obviously a Christian. So I was like, you know, it's like prayer and affirmation. And then he was like, you know what? That's really inspiring. And I was like, good.
38:58 - 39:01
And then he said, fuck, stop the boats.
39:01 - 39:10
We actually had like an honest conversation where he said his piece and he was like, you know, but they come in, they stay together. And I was like, but sure, that's so normal.
39:10 - 39:25
You would stay. Like if you move, I would move with Irish people. I was like, it's normal. And I was like, you have to give grace for an adjustment period. It's never going to just happen and that everyone gets on and everyone's culture matches. I was like, and then he was saying, cause he was a black man and he was like, all my friends are Irish.
39:25 - 39:39
And I was like, well, because when the Irish came over, they went to that neighborhood. And I was like, a lot of the time it was the black people and Irish people living together. And when you look back only 60 years ago and there was English people, there's like, you know, those recordings of them being talking about the Irish being like, oh, they're animals and oh,
39:39 - 39:49
they're this, you know, and I was like, cause that was an adjustment period and we fear, you know, so I had a really, really beautiful, his name was Colin and it was a lovely conversation and a very,
39:49 - 39:55
we didn't agree on everything, but I was able to talk to him and that's what I'm trying to do now with politics. I think being online.
39:55 - 39:56
Good for you.
39:56 - 40:01
Cause being online is hard cause you're afraid of fucking up. I love you so much. You're an absolute legend.
40:01 - 40:06
Yeah. Like often at the moment when you do need to call shit out, you just can't be asked.
40:06 - 40:14
Right. And you're just like, Oh, I just don't want to like, have to like fight someone on something that I fundamentally believe in. Cause it's like hard not to get defensive.
40:15 - 40:20
My husband is from South Africa and when we were in South Africa, there was this big mural of Nelson Mandela and it said,
40:20 - 40:32
true growth is through communication and kindness. So like, it's easy to agree with people who agree with you, but it's growth comes from like having conversations with people that disagree with you and like trying to find like,
40:32 - 40:36
you know, a common ground and learning that two things can be true at the one time.
40:36 - 40:47
Like it, you know, it's okay to be afraid of things that we're unaware of, but then you also must be able to speak what you actually believe in, in a gentle way to be able to create even a little inch of change,
40:47 - 41:01
you know? So, but he was so cute about, and I was like, I made sure to tell him, I was like, that's like a Persian prophet that said that, that's not my words. I thought it was roomy, but it's not. So I said that, yeah, the words we speak at the house, we live in. And he was like, I've got goosebumps. And then I was like, I've got goosebumps.
41:01 - 41:14
It was really lovely. And I was like, oh, it was just so like, cause I found myself once in London when I moved here in a taxi and he was being really horrible and I didn't say anything and I think about it all the time,
41:14 - 41:26
but I was just like in the cab and I was on my own and I was like, I just didn't feel like I kind of code or something. And I, it comes into my head at nighttime and I'm like, I wish I just like stood up. I wish I just said the right thing and I didn't say anything. I felt a bit complicit.
41:26 - 41:29
So I'm glad yesterday I like used my voice.
41:29 - 41:41
It's those, at the moment, I'm obsessed with those contradictions. Like, so there's a crap far right in Ireland that is repeatedly not doing well.
41:41 - 41:54
Every time there's an election, they do badly. But there's a thing in the paper today about, oh, someone was at a remigration conference and just being Irish and talking about remigration,
41:54 - 42:06
it's so bleak, but also hilarious in this. So if America said we're going to remigrate all the Irish people, that would be 48 million people moving back here. You know, that is too many people.
42:06 - 42:09
You think there's a housing crisis now?
42:09 - 42:16
Yeah. Wait till the 28 million British people all are forced to move back here as well.
42:16 - 42:19
It's such a delicate time, isn't it? Oh, it's so sticky and weird.
42:19 - 42:25
Yeah. I'd never move away and I don't think there should be any immigration from anyone anyway.
42:25 - 42:27
Max is in Australia in a shed.
42:27 - 42:32
Right. So we've had this wonderful experience. We've got goosebumps and we come back into the house.
42:32 - 42:40
We come back into the house and then we have one hour before we have to go and you know, Victoria Angeloni?
42:40 - 42:43
Yeah, we've had them on. First ever bonk on this podcast.
42:43 - 42:44
On this podcast.
42:44 - 42:47
Well, I heard about that because it was his 30th surprise party.
42:47 - 43:02
So we had to get to the pub before Victoria got to the pub to do a big surprise for him. Now, keep in mind, I was in Selfridges looking for a dress, so I didn't drink any water and I am an avid water drinker. But I'm also a beer and trying to get to the toilet in Selfridges is like the hunger game.
43:02 - 43:14
So I was like, I need to not drink water, get this dress, get home and piss at home. So I didn't drink any water. So I get in at this point and I'm like, after having a religious experience with Colin and I'm like, get me some fucking aqua.
43:14 - 43:23
So I hydrate. We make a really quick tuna salad with some boiled eggs. And then I'm like, we got to go, babe. So we just make our way over to Finsbury Park.
43:23 - 43:29
What is the lie that's been told to Vittorio? It's just like we're going for a quiet drink in the pub kind of a thing.
43:29 - 43:39
His girlfriend and Mike Rice put a group together and I think it was basically him because he just got back from tour like the day before yesterday, which for me, brave.
43:39 - 43:42
It's a different podcast. That is a different podcast.
43:42 - 43:46
You just got back from tour yesterday as opposed to what did you do yesterday?
43:46 - 43:50
The day before yesterday is not a podcast we like to promote in this.
43:50 - 43:55
No, no, that's a we're not going to say arch nemesis, but it's getting close to that.
43:55 - 44:02
What are you going to do tomorrow? Another big enemy. What are you doing later, of course. Oh, OK. So they've set up a group. This is exciting.
44:02 - 44:16
They set up a group and I'm like in my head, I'm thinking if I got back from tour and I was made to socialize with all my friends, I think I would jump off a bridge. So I'm like, this is a bold move from Isy. But she knows him. That's our partner. Mike Rice is a huge instigator of it all as well.
44:16 - 44:25
We're organizing it. So they put a group together. He's on his way home. They changed the group to Vinny's dog walking. Very smart move in case the message pops up.
44:25 - 44:26
Oh, so smart.
44:26 - 44:37
Isy's no fool. Let's just put it that way. So we organized the pub to be there at seven o'clock. We get there in time and then we're all up on the third level of the beer garden. Really cool pub called the Fallback Faltering.
44:37 - 44:42
The Faltering Fallback. Yeah. Yeah. I used to go there all the time. End of Perth Road.
44:42 - 44:44
Yeah. It's such a vibe, isn't it?
44:44 - 44:46
In the early 2000s at least it did good Thai food.
44:46 - 45:00
Yeah. The Thai food. So you go into this pub, Daithi, and it's full of Brits and lads and then they walk out with Pad Thai. That smells incredible. I was like, well, this is very non-collaborative in my mind. And I was like, and they say that it's right wing in England.
45:00 - 45:02
Come on, we're crushing it.
45:02 - 45:10
Kyla, this happens so often where Max, he's like, you know, when James Joyce left Dublin and he's living in Zurich or wherever.
45:10 - 45:23
He once asked someone to count the number of steps to get from somewhere to somewhere else because he was having a memory and wanted to put it in a short story. Max is like that the whole time with his love of these pubs, the Thai food.
45:23 - 45:24
Oh, it's a great pub.
45:24 - 45:27
I have to say, you do pubs well.
45:27 - 45:28
It's crack.
45:28 - 45:35
Question, which is seven o'clock now. I feel like we've lost some of the afternoon. Well, I was in Selfridges for hours.
45:35 - 45:36
Oh yeah, ten dresses.
45:36 - 45:38
That's a lot of changes, isn't it?
45:38 - 45:41
That's a lot of changes and I had lace-up shoes on.
45:41 - 45:41
Ah, right, okay.
45:41 - 45:44
I had to tie my laces ten times extra in a day.
45:44 - 45:46
Did you have to keep putting the shoes back on?
45:46 - 45:54
Yeah. To check they... I couldn't wear my runners because I wear barefoot shoes. I'm a barefoot shoe wearer. So you can only imagine how ridiculous that would look with my nice dress.
45:54 - 45:55
Yeah, of course.
45:55 - 45:59
So you couldn't just leave the shoes on, sorry. You couldn't just keep taking the...
45:59 - 45:59
Just be barefoot.
45:59 - 46:02
Yeah, but I still had to take the shoes off and put them back on again.
46:02 - 46:05
Well, no, just be barefoot for the whole process of...
46:05 - 46:12
Oh, you know Selfridges, they'd throw me out. I couldn't just walk around barefoot being like, I'm saving time. I see, I see.
46:12 - 46:17
Now, in my mind, I see you would just, like, get the ten dresses and go through them, but you were putting one on...
46:17 - 46:20
No, I was on different floors. I was visiting different brands.
46:20 - 46:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
46:21 - 46:31
Okay, so here's what I've invented. It's a device. It's called 27 Dresses, which I realize is already the name of a film, so there's going to be some legal troubles.
46:31 - 46:42
I'll change it right now. It's called 26 Dresses. And it's a machine with 26 dresses on a circular kind of device above your head.
46:42 - 46:55
Each one's in a separate one. Okay, it hoovers off the last dress. You just stand underneath. It goes like, hoovers off the last one and just drops the next one onto you, and you look at it in a mirror.
46:55 - 46:57
We can call it the Mila.
46:57 - 47:02
It's called the Mila. Rest in peace. Don't dead name Capo.
47:03 - 47:06
Clopsy. I'm sorry. It's so confusing.
47:06 - 47:14
Is the hoover clever enough that it never leaves you fully naked? So it won't hoover off the pants and the bra.
47:14 - 47:17
This is like Dragon's Den. That was a great question.
47:17 - 47:26
Yeah. Deborah Meadan doesn't want to be naked in the shop. So she wants to be sure that when you hoover off the dress, she is still in her drawers and smalls.
47:26 - 47:34
A lot of the dresses I tried on had makeup and fake tan. New dresses. So people are obviously taking off the dresses and getting all their makeup on it.
47:34 - 47:37
So hang on, it could have a car wash feature for...
47:37 - 47:40
Yes, it's got a car wash feature in it as well.
47:40 - 47:49
People don't want to be stripped of their makeup and fake tan when they're trying on dresses. A lot of people put on their makeup and fake tan to try on the dress to get the full effect.
47:49 - 47:56
We've thought about this and that's why it photographs you at the start and then at the end it puts exactly that on.
47:56 - 48:06
But also, hang on, if you're... If you're worried about your undies coming off, if you think about the actual physics of it, it's impossible to hoover undies off.
48:06 - 48:14
Yeah, but Deborah Meadan... Sorry, I'll rephrase it. Deborah Meadan doesn't want her bra hoovered off and she doesn't want a massive wedgie. She doesn't want that.
48:14 - 48:18
Or to be cut in half by her own underpants.
48:18 - 48:29
I think Deborah says it's a lifestyle business, but it's not for me. I'm out. I'm out. But you really want Peter Jones on this. I don't know.
48:29 - 48:38
OK, here's what I want. I believe we've caught up now properly. So you're all hiding. Are you hiding in shrubbery or in an area?
48:38 - 48:50
We're hiding. So on the third floor and Max can confirm this. There's a very maze like beer garden up the back. It's a very deceiving pub because you walk to it and it is very attractive outside because there's ivy.
48:50 - 49:01
I love ivy. I find it very romantic and mystical. There's ivy on the outside of the pub and you're thinking, oh, this looks cool. And then you go in. It's like a normal tavern. But then you go out the back and there's a big seating area where they were doing a quiz.
49:01 - 49:09
I love it. And then you go outside and there's like, it's like an outdoor beer garden, but it's like they're all separate kind of, Max. Would you agree?
49:09 - 49:16
They're like, I never got beyond the big outdoor barn tavern. I've never been to this Narnia pub.
49:16 - 49:18
This is not my question. What I want to know is
49:18 - 49:21
I'm just trying to create a visual, a vivid visual for you.
49:21 - 49:23
Painting pictures with words.
49:23 - 49:26
So how does it happen when Vittorio walks in?
49:26 - 49:37
OK, so third level of the beer garden. Mike Rice at this point, I'm not going to lie. He's not panicked, but he wants to make sure after all his hard work that the surprise goes through.
49:37 - 49:43
So he gets all of us. Keep in mind, there's about, I'm so bad at this, amounts of people and stuff like that.
49:43 - 49:49
Like you could literally tell me that and I believe you. I'm so bad at this kind of stuff. There's loads of us, like maybe 20.
49:49 - 49:56
Yeah, but we can help with this. We can narrow it down a bit. I mean, because it's clearly, you could look at the WhatsApp group now and see how many people are in it.
49:56 - 50:05
My phone is downstairs. So there was me, Simon, John, Robbie, Christopher, Mickey, Patrick, Isy, the mom, the dad,
50:05 - 50:08
This is the most Irish-sounding people.. Fintan.
50:08 - 50:13
None of them were Irish apart from me, John. I'd say there was like 30 people.
50:13 - 50:15
Okay, this is good.
50:15 - 50:16
Okay. 30 to 90.
50:16 - 50:25
30 to 90. Kyla. Lots of people. I've never had one of these done to me and I don't think I'd love it, to be honest.
50:25 - 50:27
No, I'd kill myself.
50:27 - 50:39
I involved a friend in it once and he was really depressed because no, no one would hang out with them that night. So we went through the whole day ringing people, being like, do you want to go for a drink later?
50:39 - 50:44
And everyone's like, nah, sorry, can't because they were all going to the surprise party.
50:45 - 50:49
Has this happened with him? Does he seem happy or does he seem overwhelmed?
50:49 - 50:56
Well, we all hide in a corner. Isy brings him upstairs and then we all jump out and surprise and he was so surprised.
50:56 - 51:08
He was so surprised. It was so funny. And Victoria was not like a shy man, but he looked a little bit shy and overwhelmed. And he's like, oh my God. And then we all hugged him and all sat down.
51:08 - 51:10
That's a lot of hugging. He's got to hug 30 to 90 people.
51:10 - 51:16
Yeah, 30 to 90 people. And maybe a few people snuck in for a hug that weren't even in the gathering. I don't know.
51:16 - 51:23
There's those creeps out there. I don't know. Yeah, it was really lovely. And then at the same time, there was like drinks coming. Oh, and they got a magician.
51:23 - 51:24
The great Suprendo.
51:24 - 51:25
Called Pete.
51:26 - 51:28
Close up card magic or whatever?
51:28 - 51:31
Close up card magic and disappearing ring magic.
51:32 - 51:33
It was incredible.
51:33 - 51:34
It was incredible.
51:34 - 51:37
I think that's odd for a surprise birthday party.
51:37 - 51:45
But, you know, like... You know what, Max? Now you have to just take a step back from what you're looking at because if you think about it, it's a gathering of 30 to 90 people that don't all know each other.
51:45 - 51:57
And sometimes having a thing to focus on with a group of pretty neurodivergent people and like weirdos, it's nice to have like a thing where you can be like,
51:57 - 52:01
oh, look, we have this common ground of being like mystified by magic. Like that's a nice...
52:01 - 52:07
It's a common ground. It's a conversation starter. Pete was also about six foot seven, which was very interesting. He's a spring bean of a man.
52:07 - 52:10
You're looking down on Pete, but everyone else is looking up.
52:10 - 52:15
I was like, make me disappear. Let's go. Let's see what kind of magician you really are.
52:15 - 52:17
Saw me into thirds. Go on then.
52:17 - 52:31
Yeah, I probably didn't need to ask. Was it a close up magic? Imagine if you'd booked like a Copperfield type one and his whole thing is look out the window. Big Ben is gone. People would be like, what? I can't see it anyway.
52:31 - 52:43
You know what, though? It was fucking cool. And I have something in me that doesn't like magicians. And I don't know if it's because when I started comedy, someone just like one person randomly told me comedians don't like magicians.
52:43 - 52:49
I was like, oh, yeah, I don't like magicians. But they're amazing because I know it's not real. But how do they do it?
52:49 - 53:02
A friend of mine phrased it like he doesn't like it because it's like, oh, we're in a magic circle and we're not going to tell you. We know how this is done, but we're not going to tell you how it's done. And I've sort of, I've carried that with me. But at the same time, you're right.
53:02 - 53:16
Dynamo came on a TV show I was hosting and he did these things that were just like, he'd had to go into the studio for like half an hour and we weren't allowed in before the show happened. So that's where they set everything up. But in the moment, you're like, how have you done that?
53:16 - 53:20
Do you think with magic there's such a thing as natural talent?
53:20 - 53:33
Oh, well, there's the charisma of committing to the bit. Like, you know, people who are good with kids are generally capable of fully engaging with the game of cars or whatever you're playing.
53:33 - 53:42
I think similarly with magic, if any part of you is just sort of messing, then it exposes the conceit.
53:42 - 53:54
You have to be like, I am in the year 3000. My 38 times great grandfather was taught this trick. You know what I mean? And you have to be like, oh my God.
53:54 - 53:55
Can you do magic, Dave?
53:55 - 54:01
People often say about my comedy that it is a form of magic.
54:01 - 54:08
I guess if there wasn't talent, then all of us would be equally good at it. Do you know what I mean?
54:08 - 54:14
Well, that's not the case because you can work really hard at something and equally work hard at something, but then you might just be better than someone else.
54:14 - 54:17
Yeah, I mean, there's definitely talent in professional cricket, right?
54:17 - 54:31
This is going to be one of those things where like the magicians are going to come for us, bro. I did a thing about celiacs and it was probably the most trolled I ever got and I regret it. So it's those groups of people that you think are calm and like tender and then they come at you like a fucking ton of bricks.
54:32 - 54:36
So I just want to put out there, I love magic. Fuck Frasier, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
54:36 - 54:47
I would say though, I've written columns about, you know, human rights abusing countries and, you know, sexual and domestic violence, but if you write about the vaccine, watch out. That's all I would say.
54:47 - 54:58
I'm telling you, people get, it's like we're so out of control because of the capitalist system that we cling on to the most random shit and you're like, this is my passion and you're like, no, it's not, you're just unhappy.
54:58 - 55:00
I have a magic trick.
55:00 - 55:00
Here we go.
55:00 - 55:15
No, no, no, I can't, I can't do it now but it's one that I've been able to do for years that involves a deck of cards, me forcing you to pick three cards and then the big ending of it is because I've got the cards
55:15 - 55:31
two on the top, one on the bottom and I sort of flick my hand and all the cards fall out and I'm holding the three and then I walk away is normally what I do just because like these magical gifts that I have are almost too powerful
55:31 - 55:32
I mean, I get that
55:32 - 55:33
Yeah, thank you
55:33 - 55:37
Ian, my four-year-old he does magic with my parents on Zoom
55:37 - 55:39
Is your four-year-old called Ian?
55:39 - 55:40
He is for the tape of course
55:40 - 55:44
Oh, I was like why did you give him a grown-up name?
55:44 - 55:58
So Ian, on Zoom with my parents who are in Cambridge I will say we're going to send you a spoon so I do a spoon through the laptop one, two, three and I make the spoon disappear and then my dad has a spoon It is really cute
55:58 - 56:10
but sometimes like the Zoom is set up and my parents go, oh, I've got a spoon I can't be fucked to get off the sofa so I'll send a spoon and they'll just have their mobile phone I'll be like, what? My magic's gone I'm like, guys
56:10 - 56:13
You turned the spoon into a mobile phone
56:13 - 56:25
You should have gone to the Apple store with just a spoon Can I get a 17 Pro, please? So we are there It's a disparate group but through the use of magic you all become firm friends
56:25 - 56:34
Yeah, well, not friends but I guess there's a flow of conversation that feels like that feels natural and organic which is what you want in a social setting
56:34 - 56:48
You're not looking for friends You're just looking for a flow You don't want to feel awkward So it was just a nice organic conversation between everyone Everyone was there to celebrate Victorio Victorio was very happy, I think Mike was really happy about organising it well
56:48 - 56:53
and then we stayed until nine o'clock and then we were like, right let's get out of here
56:53 - 56:55
Did Victorio do a little speech?
56:55 - 57:10
Victorio did a very cute speech where it just didn't even seem like Victorio He was like looked a little bit like humbled and like nervous and he was like I just want to say thanks to everyone like all my favourite people are here It was actually very genuine It was lovely
57:10 - 57:11
That is so nice
57:11 - 57:22
Because sometimes, you know when you're like at this age too and you're like I don't want to leave my house and then in London everything takes ages and I was like, oh fuck's sake and then you do it and you're like I'm so glad I did it
57:22 - 57:31
It sounds like another moment of genuine human connection like you've had with White Gloves with Colin and now with Vittorio at the magician party
57:31 - 57:36
And that's my favourite thing about the day because that's what I miss so much about being in
57:36 - 57:48
like a waitress because I don't get to talk to anyone as a comedian anymore I used to spend my day chatting to tiny little talks with everyone just being like what's the crack and I'd have a bit of crack whereas now I have to like hunt them down so I can get a bit of social
57:48 - 57:50
And you the first people to leave at nine?
57:50 - 58:07
No, well there was Mickey and Patrick you know them comedians Mickey's a lady from Holland and Patrick I can't remember Patrick something they're pregnant so they had the Thai food and left so they crushed it Yeah So they left before us and then
58:07 - 58:14
me and Simon on the way home in the cab Simon was like when we get Thai food from Holy Thai and I was like let's do it baby
58:14 - 58:15
So you were inspired
58:15 - 58:17
We were hungry and inspired what a mix
58:18 - 58:21
Was that not a dinner though with the boiled eggs and the tuna earlier?
58:21 - 58:30
No, that was kind of because I hadn't eaten any lunch that was just like a thing to not eat shit because you know sometimes when you're choosing between eating a healthy whole food thing or you're on the road
58:30 - 58:41
and you just go to Pret and get a wrap and I was like if I eat any of that kind of stuff I just get so my belly gets so sore so I was like I just want to eat like something healthy quickly and then I'll commit to like a nice dinner
58:41 - 58:48
I just go back from touring you know the way you're like eating in airports and standing up and on planes and I was just like I just want to like sit down and eat my fucking food
58:48 - 59:00
so it was just like a quick stepping stone between a meal so then on the way back in the cab Simon was like let's get Thai food and I was like oh my god we haven't had a takeaway since I got back from Sydney like nine days ago so I was like oh my god
59:00 - 59:01
so what did you get?
59:01 - 59:02
yeah what did you get?
59:02 - 59:15
we got we got I just started eating spicy food since I met Simon so I'm still getting used to the words and then we got and then I love fried rice so we always get fried rice
59:16 - 59:21
do you pick it up on the way home or do you get it delivered as you're getting home?
59:21 - 59:34
we ordered at the same time and then the delivery driver was on got there before us and that for me I was mortified I was like oh my god mortified I was like Simon so I texted him and I gave him the code to the front door which I probably shouldn't have and I was like just leave it at the letterbox
59:34 - 59:35
he's still there now
59:35 - 59:36
he's still there now
59:36 - 59:50
lovely guy he's here with me I had washed the floor so I'd lifted the bed so we brought the bed back down and then we were just before we'd eaten Kapo ran in and pissed on the duvet duvet better than mattress I would say
59:50 - 59:54
wait you're not eating Thai food in bed are you?
59:54 - 59:57
no we're eating yeah we were I was gonna lie
1:00:00 - 1:00:14
I love eating in bed and I know that look I'm going red I know there's gonna be people that'll come at me I love eating in bed and I won't have anyone have anything say bad against me and you know why lads I've always lived in studio apartments
1:00:14 - 1:00:24
and all I ever had was a bed I did everything on my bed so I was like let's make up the bed also having the bed in the living room is so fun because it's like a forest or something
1:00:24 - 1:00:27
it's like a sleepover right it's like a sleepover yeah
1:00:27 - 1:00:33
so I was like let's bring the bed down make the bed and then put the projector on and eat the curry in the bed and watch something
1:00:33 - 1:00:34
this is good
1:00:34 - 1:00:41
so you get in with a takeaway and there is a kitchen table but you get a bed from upstairs the mattress presumably just the mattress and bring it downstairs
1:00:41 - 1:00:51
the mattress topper yeah and the cats are running around and we're having this lovely moment and I'm like oh my god look at them and then clap teeth on the couch and then Kappa runs up on the fucking fresh duvet
1:00:51 - 1:01:05
and I see him doing the movements and I'm like he's not gonna piss is he and Simon's like no I don't think he's going to piss and I'm like I think he might piss and then Simon's like oh my god he's pissing and I was like he's pissing and then we lift him up and all the piss is everywhere oh it's so annoying
1:01:06 - 1:01:12
have you started eating yet or have you got to action the duvet or can you just throw the duvet into another room and eat first
1:01:12 - 1:01:18
no I had to get the duvet I couldn't eat with the piss because it you can get it out really quickly with a damn cloth
1:01:18 - 1:01:19
oh cat piss does stink
1:01:19 - 1:01:23
it really does any piss stinks don't say it about cats piss is piss
1:01:23 - 1:01:27
cat piss is worse than human piss I love this podcast I really love this podcast
1:01:27 - 1:01:33
no I don't I think if we pissed openly like they did it would smell disgusting as well
1:01:33 - 1:01:33
not mine
1:01:33 - 1:01:36
my granny lived in like a it was like a home
1:01:36 - 1:01:39
your granny's piss smelled terrible didn't it
1:01:39 - 1:01:44
well my granny lived in like an old person's home and when you'd walk in you'd smell wee bless them
1:01:44 - 1:01:44
oh that is true
1:01:44 - 1:01:47
and like it would smell like fucking piss bro
1:01:47 - 1:01:50
yeah but if you went to an old cat's home that smell of piss would be so much
1:01:50 - 1:02:00
I know but like I feel like it would be equally gross I don't think you'd be like is that cat piss oh I think I'll take old lady piss but cat piss that's where the line is drawn
1:02:00 - 1:02:07
oh Capo's like we have to go this is in eight years time we have to go and visit Clopsy and the old cat's home bring in some Thai food
1:02:07 - 1:02:10
but at this point so I had smoked a little bit of weed as well
1:02:10 - 1:02:24
so I was like ready for my Thai food I was like this is gonna be little bit high little bit of Thai food the kittens my lovely husband I was like this is gonna be the projector it started to rain I was like oh my god
1:02:24 - 1:02:35
this is the perfect night in and then Capo just comes over his tiny little willy and pisses everywhere I was like oh god it was so annoying
1:02:35 - 1:02:47
do you feel though that Clopsy will have a word you know just like we are here out of that goodwill to them if we keep this up the two of us are gonna be in the pissy cat's home
1:02:47 - 1:02:57
well we did research and apparently because he's only he was only born on the 25th of February cause he's such a baby Claude was like listen
1:02:57 - 1:03:03
he's just a wee fella there was nothing in him that was like I'm gonna do this now to fuck with them
1:03:03 - 1:03:03
okay yeah
1:03:03 - 1:03:07
he just doesn't know where to piss yeah he's a wee fella
1:03:07 - 1:03:08
not a wee fella
1:03:08 - 1:03:08
there we go
1:03:08 - 1:03:13
do you put the duvet straight in the washing machine and just put it in motion
1:03:13 - 1:03:21
I take off the cover and then I put it in motion but I can't wash the duvet so I put white vinegar and baking soda and then I scrub it with a damp cloth
1:03:21 - 1:03:28
and then I just dry it but we got him we managed to lift him before he like really set the his scent into the duvet
1:03:28 - 1:03:31
so where's is he pissing then when you're lifting him
1:03:31 - 1:03:41
just everywhere he's on the ground but I don't care about that but the ground is fine you can clean the ground it's the fabric stuff you're like ah for fuck's sake so then this morning I just said bring the bed back up
1:03:41 - 1:03:46
I was like I can't because he tried to do it again and I was like I'm going to fucking murder the cat
1:03:46 - 1:03:50
ah shit what movie do you put on just to bring this back to nice
1:03:50 - 1:03:55
we've been watching Apex but it's been fucking hard to watch isn't it I mean once that have you watched Apex
1:03:55 - 1:03:56
I have not watched Apex
1:03:56 - 1:03:58
I'm still on Death in Paradise sort of season
1:03:58 - 1:04:00
I don't know what that is
1:04:00 - 1:04:01
it's a show for old people from 10 years
1:04:01 - 1:04:07
I know nothing about Apex but I imagine they're different is what I'm suspecting what happens in it Kyla Apex
1:04:07 - 1:04:18
Charlie Throne is in Australia wanting to honour her dead husband she's a climber and he died in a climb with her so she's going to do this like climb and then she gets hunted by an Australian local
1:04:18 - 1:04:26
but the thing is is that there's one scene where he's got a speaker and he's like at the end of this song you've as much time as this song lasts you have to get away from me and then there's a bit where he's dancing
1:04:26 - 1:04:38
and he's got a crossbow and there's a bit where he goes oh and then you know it's not a test and then he goes and it's like the best scene I've ever seen but after that I think it peaked there because it's really shit
1:04:38 - 1:04:40
you'd hope that he put on a really long song
1:04:40 - 1:04:47
how cool is that we were saying we would do it with the cats and get a budgie and be like to the budgie you have to the end of this song to get a far away from the cats
1:04:47 - 1:04:51
Please be Hotel California yeah come on put Hey Jude on
1:04:51 - 1:04:54
nah he puts on Song 2 by Blur it's a minute long
1:04:54 - 1:05:03
oh no Deeply Dippy shit two minutes ready fuck oh no hang on someone else has watched that who came on and had watched that
1:05:03 - 1:05:15
you should just watch that scene because there's loads of people doing spoofs off about it now online and they're actually really funny it's like just one of those little cultural well it's not cultural but it's just like cinematic but it's very very funny but the movie I think the movie's pretty bleak
1:05:15 - 1:05:18
can you enjoy it is the smell completely gone the ammonia
1:05:18 - 1:05:33
the smell never even hit us the smell is gone we're enjoying it and then I say to Simon I'm like again a little bit high and I'm like you know I'd love to watch something funny so we put on the campaign Will Ferrell I've never seen that the guy from Ted Lasso
1:05:33 - 1:05:36
oh my god and Zach Galifianakis so good
1:05:36 - 1:05:48
and I don't know how I've never seen it because I think I've watched like all of Will Ferrell's stuff like that was my I didn't watch stand up I watched like all that like spoof movies and chat shows and stuff that was more my comedy introduction
1:05:48 - 1:05:58
so I love all that stuff but oh my god the giggles we had lads it's brilliant Zach Galifianakis is a genius I think
1:05:58 - 1:06:11
so Kyla the year is 2003 and the child David O'Doherty is doing one of his first ever Kilkenny Cat Laughs comedy festivals and I was driving
1:06:11 - 1:06:20
to Achill Island afterwards and I just got talking to one of the Americans who was doing this festival Zach Galifianakis
1:06:20 - 1:06:20
fuck off
1:06:20 - 1:06:24
and I said do you want to come to Achill Island and
1:06:24 - 1:06:38
we drove I mean it's about a five hour drive across the country in a Fiat Sicento a tiny little car that was so small that we barely fitted in it and we had one of the funnest nights ever you know
1:06:38 - 1:06:50
I honestly think DOD that that would be my dinner party you know the dead person alive person dinner party it would be you and Zach Galifianakis in Achill Island how lucky are you what was he doing was he in the Cat Laughs
1:06:50 - 1:06:52
he was doing that festival by then
1:06:52 - 1:07:08
it was before the hangover or even any of his other weird comedy stuff from before that he was he was best known from a drama show on Fox in America called True Calling where he played a doctor and we hung out for a couple of days we unsuccessfully
1:07:08 - 1:07:22
fished for mackerel we drank pints in the pub and then I said I'm going back to Dublin we go back and he said I've always wanted to hitchhike across Ireland and I said okay fine do that do you want to stay with me in my bed sit
1:07:22 - 1:07:38
on a pull out couch and he said no I'm quite rich I'm in this really bad TV show in America I'm going to just hitchhike across and stay in the poshest hotel in Dublin and I remember thinking that's a pretty cool life to have
1:07:38 - 1:07:38
the Westbury
1:07:38 - 1:07:39
yeah exactly
1:07:39 - 1:07:44
also you know what's sick about it just like randomly happened
1:07:44 - 1:07:52
like that is so cool he I would love to meet him I'm so happy for you that you got to do that that's so sick
1:07:52 - 1:07:56
thank you however we've changed it into what did I do
1:07:56 - 1:07:56
in 2003
1:07:56 - 1:07:57
years ago
1:07:57 - 1:07:58
it's not as catchy
1:07:58 - 1:08:02
I mean whatever a good story is a good story that is amazing
1:08:02 - 1:08:04
do we watch the whole of the campaign
1:08:04 - 1:08:06
no no no I fell asleep I fell asleep
1:08:06 - 1:08:11
is the mattress topper enough to sleep on because that's all you've taken downstairs
1:08:11 - 1:08:15
sorry a mattress topper is the mattress but it's not the mattress
1:08:15 - 1:08:26
no the mattress topper is I'm not trying to be sarcastic it's just literally a topper for the mattress so it's like if you have an old mattress and you buy a mattress topper it's like a lovely extra layer of comfort
1:08:26 - 1:08:27
what's the depth
1:08:27 - 1:08:31
it's the this big I'm not good with quantities this big
1:08:31 - 1:08:32
three inches
1:08:32 - 1:08:34
between 30 and 90
1:08:34 - 1:08:42
I have looked into mattress toppers a lot because Jim and Anne my parents mums had trouble with shoulders and
1:08:42 - 1:08:55
whatnot so I really explored they like their mattress but they would like another layer and you can get mattress toppers up to almost the size of a mattress then after so it's not just that tiny thing
1:08:55 - 1:08:58
and that's enough to sleep on the whole night
1:08:58 - 1:09:06
well it is for us I mean we have lived in different places we try to like it's very good for you to sleep like close to the ground like you know the Japanese
1:09:06 - 1:09:16
beds it gives you a lot of longevity and it's like good for your back and stuff a little bit of a harder right mattress so we're trying to like I think we're going to like migrate to doing that so
1:09:16 - 1:09:23
we tested it with the mattress and it's been grand like it's more comfortable for me anyway I think it's comfortable I like being close to the ground
1:09:23 - 1:09:30
is that the end of your night you fall asleep there or do you at some point wake up and then have to go up to bed or that you're there
1:09:30 - 1:09:37
no no no we slept downstairs no no Simon woke up at one and came up and let Clopsy out because she was kind of being a little bit of a bitch so he let her
1:09:37 - 1:09:47
out and then put Capo back into his little room but I was long gone at that point because I go to bed really early like I was asleep by like half ten and then I wake up early
1:09:47 - 1:09:51
you're so healthy I mean I knew you were healthy but I didn't know you were this healthy
1:09:51 - 1:09:55
it's not even healthy possibly undermined by the marijuana
1:09:55 - 1:09:59
well there's also the three different noodles slash rice dishes that you've got
1:09:59 - 1:10:13
well we only had tiny bit well I'm not even healthy I just I am just an early bird like I'm just an early I've always been like that I'm just not a night time I just don't function well like if I could do comedy before midday I would crush like I'm so much more alert but
1:10:13 - 1:10:25
1030 for me is I don't think I mean unless I'm working I'm in bed when Jaime went away for nine days and I had both kids I was in bed at 745 and it was absolutely amazing
1:10:25 - 1:10:39
and also because I was just in Melbourne absolutely stunning city well done great choice to raise a family there it's such a vibe especially the five to nine before the nine to five in Australia you can get your day done
1:10:39 - 1:10:43
at sunrise I mean it's such a good way to live it's so good
1:10:43 - 1:10:52
my friend runs a cafe the fumbly in Dublin I once did a gig at 730 a.m. I can't remember why but we just thought it would be funny thing to do it's
1:10:52 - 1:11:09
in fact it's a lot of screaming children a lot of people coming up on stage and it's just a lot of people shaking their heads because they haven't had enough sleep I mean I crushed what can I say I did have six children on stage
1:11:09 - 1:11:12
around me that's a perfect ending to this great day
1:11:12 - 1:11:14
I was really lucky I had a beautiful day
1:11:14 - 1:11:16
thanks for telling us what you did yesterday
1:11:16 - 1:11:23
my absolute pleasure. Vittorio was very excited that I was able to tell about his surprise party on this you sign your praises
1:11:27 - 1:11:43
Kyla Cobbler there and it was a great day and my favorite point in the day is not necessarily any of the high points of the day it is having not a detailed but
1:11:43 - 1:11:52
certainly a discussion about what's worse out of the smell of cat piss and old people's piss
1:11:52 - 1:11:58
also it seems like I have a gift for guessing how much outfits cost
1:11:58 - 1:12:05
that was very impressive yeah whole bit you became sort of like Nostradamus well no
1:12:05 - 1:12:15
he's that's sort of not Nostradamus he was predicting that the end of the world and then there was an earthquake it was just you bought the first dress it was Nostradamus's early work
1:12:15 - 1:12:19
it'll be difficult to figure out how to monetize it the only way
1:12:19 - 1:12:35
I could see would be I wonder if you can bet on the antiques roadshow you know what I mean when you're watching it live because I'm not obviously with this new gift that I have know exactly how much particularly clothes are going to cost on us
1:12:35 - 1:12:50
the antiques roadshow isn't live right so there is a lot of corruption in gambling but I really think you know you could get in with the editors I just don't think people would believe it's a gift if you're what are you live streaming on twitch while antiques roadshow
1:12:50 - 1:12:52
is on and you're going 280 quid
1:12:52 - 1:13:05
what you don't see is so and antiques roadshow here's the bit that they're filming so it's the person by the table with the military medals and the young person who was given them by the great grandfather and then all
1:13:05 - 1:13:08
around are just loads of bookies who have
1:13:08 - 1:13:09
John McCririck
1:13:09 - 1:13:13
whiteboard that you wipe and you write all the odds on it
1:13:13 - 1:13:25
this bars for insurance purposes 15 to 20 grand that's 8 to 1 20 grand to 30 grand 17 to 1 30 grand plus that is 100 to 1 bar do do do do pats on the head hits the nose etc etc
1:13:25 - 1:13:39
my beloved Fiona Bruce just at the end they do this a long pan back yeah which is like maybe the next time we visit Wedgwood there will be a vase with my face on it from Wedgwood
1:13:39 - 1:13:46
goodnight and it pulls back do do do do you just see loads of bookies sprinting off
1:13:46 - 1:13:57
if you'd like to get in touch with this podcast here is how to get in touch with the show you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod
1:13:57 - 1:14:12
at gmail.com follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't thank you David thank you Kyla as well
1:14:12 - 1:14:14
lovely day I enjoyed it
1:14:14 - 1:14:20
a beautiful day with lovely little insightful moments a bit more of that now wouldn't go astray from our guests
1:14:20 - 1:14:28
and then when she was sending us her file her partner came on she's married to Thor and this was this was a really exciting moment for me
1:14:28 - 1:14:43
I don't know if they're married but yeah that was to see their two little faces she needed a hand doing the upload and to see them both peeping into the webcam wow that was a vision of what your life could have
1:14:43 - 1:14:45
been like if you'd made different decisions.
1:14:45 - 1:14:47
Anyway I'm in it for life
1:14:47 - 1:14:51
there's one other thing I should have said it at the start really
1:14:51 - 1:14:59
it was her husband producer Emma has just put that in she refers to me as Daithi through out you'll notice which is the Irish for David so
1:14:59 - 1:15:01
Daithi o Doherty
1:15:01 - 1:15:02
we're bringing
1:15:02 - 1:15:04
is it Daithi o David-y in Irish
1:15:04 - 1:15:08
Daithi o David-y is what it is in Irish exactly thanks Max
1:15:08 - 1:15:09
hey thanks David