0:06 - 0:13
Podcasts, there are millions of them.
0:13 - 0:18
Some might say too many.
0:18 - 0:22
I have one already.
0:22 - 0:24
I don't have any because there are enough.
0:24 - 0:30
Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
0:30 - 0:34
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
0:34 - 0:36
Why is that? Are they scared?
0:36 - 0:39
Too afraid of being censored by the man?
0:39 - 0:45
Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
0:45 - 0:48
We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
0:48 - 0:55
What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
0:55 - 0:56
Day before yesterday, Max?
0:57 - 0:59
The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
0:59 - 1:04
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
1:04 - 1:06
And I'm David O'Doherty.
1:06 - 1:21
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem. From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday, my name's Max Rushden. Alongside me, David O'Doherty. Welcome, David.
1:21 - 1:24
Feels to me a lot like a new era.
1:24 - 1:28
It does, doesn't it? Yeah. There's something in the air.
1:28 - 1:32
Yeah, not like the millennium. You know, it feels bigger than the millennium.
1:32 - 1:44
Yeah, and unlike the millennium where everyone thought the world would end, but it didn't. The world might end here, and it might. That's the difference. There was much, because we have been off for a week, and there was much speculation.
1:44 - 1:51
Someone on Reddit got so panicked that they just did their own yesterday, and it's got more comments than anything we've ever done.
1:51 - 2:06
Danny wrote, on Spotify, he wrote this, that an episode announcing there's no episode today garners many more comments from listeners than usual episodes of Midweek Mayhem is a perfect distillation of the What Did You Do Yesterday experience.
2:06 - 2:17
We care about the little things. Max has taught us to question everything. Sophie says, I hope the news is that the construction on the What Did You Do Yesterday theme park has started.
2:17 - 2:20
We have broken ground, yes.
2:20 - 2:26
We're both actually, we're doing this podcast from a dig.
2:26 - 2:37
I'm in a backhoe loader and David is in an excavator. Corrine says, if this is yet another quiz where we have to guess what the news is, I swear to God, it's like shaking fists.
2:37 - 2:42
Damien says, I just saw DoD an hour ago coming out of B&Q carrying a new bathtub.
2:42 - 2:52
Oh no, they're doing it. I think this was my favorite. There was speculation about whether we've signed like a huge advertising deal with someone.
2:52 - 2:58
And Glaucus Blue says, regarding adverts, I always tend to skip an advert if I'm not fixing a roof.
2:58 - 3:11
But the thing is, Max and David have effectively jeopardized virtually every potential sponsorship opportunity by either dissing the brand, accidentally preempting the sponsorship, or setting said brand alongside mentions of BOCs or other dubious content.
3:11 - 3:24
A quick squiz of everything is showbiz has already ruled out Lululemon, Premier Inn, Dodo's, Hotel DuVal, Pret, Huel, MasterCard and Visa. courtesy of Josh Widdicombe's observation that no one chooses MasterCard or Visa, no one cares.
3:24 - 3:39
Guns, see Rose Matafeo, Hammerite, Ronseal, Bril Cream, iPhone, Squarespace, Emma's Mattress, Monsanto, Whale Oil, all meal-in-a-box brands, Brooks Running, Matcha Tea, Dark Chocolate, Fairy Liquid, Ufit, Cereal in general, Araldite, No More Nails, Flora Proactive,
3:39 - 3:46
Worming Chocolate, Qantas, Aldi, Agassi being touted to sell anything and everything in the shape of a tennis racket, including bellows.
3:46 - 4:01
Aldi pan sales have now plummeted. Any others? At this point, the only viable sponsor I can think of is Octosoc, maybe Pizza Express, or Tony's Chocolonelys. I guess there is hope for a Moomin's collab. They can take an unexpected detail into the adult realm.
4:01 - 4:07
What's the news, David? What's the news? We have big, big news.
4:08 - 4:12
You shouldn't sigh. You shouldn't sigh before.
4:12 - 4:17
I was gathering in air because of the level of excitement that I have.
4:17 - 4:25
People often say to us, we love hearing about your yesterdays but could there be more?
4:25 - 4:27
They do say that.
4:27 - 4:43
Effectively, every week if you think about it, Max, one of us says what we did yesterday and the other effectively leaves that yesterday on the table. And there have been times when one of us has had a really exciting yesterday and yet the other
4:43 - 4:49
one just has to yammer on about having lunch with their mother or a child shitting in a sandpit.
4:49 - 4:58
Or there is a time where one of us is forgotten who's yesterday is and has meticulously noted the yesterday only to find out it's not their yesterday.
4:58 - 5:13
So we are just to be clear, we are launching more What Did You Do Yesterday? I'll tell you how you can get that in a second. If you are happy with the amount of yesterdays that you have, nothing will change in
5:13 - 5:26
the main feed. You'll still get the Sunday guest episode, your Wednesday midweek mayhem on the usual feed. But you can support the show by becoming what we're calling a lifer, i.e. you have a life sentence, no parole.
5:26 - 5:42
And it's worse than a murder because you get whatever, 14, 16 years for a murder. You're going to have to kill the royal in England or you know, blown up a national monument or something.
5:42 - 5:52
And it is worth pointing out that if you do subscribe to unsubscribe, you have to have those board, you know, parole board meetings like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption where we constantly say, sorry,
5:53 - 6:07
denied. You have to come up with a great speech. It's all bullshit. So what you get, if you decide yourself you want a life sentence, no parole, you will get an extra bonus episode every week so that you will hear both
6:07 - 6:13
the yesterdays. It will always be the same of our yesterdays. There'll be synchronicity in this.
6:13 - 6:14
Interruption.
6:14 - 6:27
I'm going to say that the other yesterday, the third yesterday, the just normal yesterday, the third one, will be quite inside, quite sassy. Do you know what I mean?
6:28 - 6:38
There'll be a lot of real nerd stuff in that. It's an opportunity to do that. To slag off the freeloaders who are just remaining with the free episodes.
6:38 - 6:44
Exactly. Who are basically dead to us now. Although we don't say that on this, the main feed.
6:44 - 6:45
Never say that.
6:45 - 6:56
Never say that. Add free episodes of the normal one. Early releases, if we record them early enough. Early access to future live show tickets. Merch. This is exciting.
6:56 - 7:08
If you decide to become an annual member, you immediately get, once it's been made, you immediately get an exclusive piece of fan club merch. It's been designed.
7:08 - 7:13
The brilliant cartoonist David Squires, friend of the pod, has designed a tea towel for the In It For Lifers.
7:13 - 7:14
Oh shit, yeah.
7:14 - 7:28
So if you sign up for the full 12 months, when you're subscribed for 12 months in total, you will get the David Squires tea towel. So it is money cannot buy. Money cannot buy the David Squires tea towel. And here's a listener.
7:28 - 7:29
Where were we last week?
7:30 - 7:37
We were, part of it was something called migration, where we moved the entire podcast to a new place.
7:37 - 7:45
It was like the wildebeest. It was like the wildebeest in you know, the delta in Botswana. Yeah, it takes a long time.
7:45 - 7:58
Yeah. But also me and Max were knitting tea towels. Just imagine a dark, room, just the only sound are two knitting needles just crashing off each other.
7:58 - 8:03
Mars bar occasionally coming in, throwing some food on the floor beside us. More tea towels.
8:03 - 8:08
Yeah. And he wouldn't let us use a sewing machine, which I thought was really,
8:08 - 8:20
that was really harsh of him. But my hands, the blisters on my hands. We're also going to do, we're working at exactly the regularity of like some live streams as well.
8:20 - 8:29
Just some live, we'll just pop up and do live yesterdays for you. And we will run a, you could become, you could become the guest on a What Did You Do Yesterday.
8:29 - 8:38
We will do a lottery and draw out of the hat. David's at the pains to point out that some listeners don't want to be on the podcast.
8:38 - 8:44
Most listeners, listen to this and think to themselves, while this is entertaining on some level. It's
8:44 - 8:55
the last thing in the world I would like to do. And the idea of just randomly drawing someone called, you know, Becky in Drogheda out and being like, tell us what you did yesterday,
8:55 - 9:02
fills you with fear. And you don't have to, but it will be, we will once in a while do one of your yesterdays.
9:02 - 9:11
Yeah, but a bit like giving, like donating organs or giving, like, it's an opt-out. You don't, it's not, you have to tell it to you.
9:11 - 9:13
What a terrible metaphor.
9:13 - 9:21
If you would like to get, we're all in the center of the known universe, but if you'd like to become the absolute center of the center of the known universe,
9:22 - 9:29
here is how you join. Go to yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm
9:29 - 9:37
That's so complicated. The way you said it, like, it was just London W12, 8QT.
9:37 - 9:47
It's not that complicated. Yesterdaypod, you're going to be staring. Why have we only got one subscriber? Is it because the website is 70s?
9:47 - 9:57
yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm That's okay, isn't it? Can you remember it? David, can you remember it?
9:57 - 10:07
When my mum finds something that she wants on the internet, she takes out a pen and paper and writes out the full, like, 300-digit URL with forward slash.
10:07 - 10:09
Http forward slash colon
10:09 - 10:14
Percentage sign, percentage sign. Underscore L.
10:14 - 10:29
So look, we'd love you all to join. I think it'll be great. If you could go to yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm and ideally, if all of you do, that's great.
10:29 - 10:42
And I was hoping that there would be different, you know, tiers and one was like 250,000 pounds that we had to do your yesterday. We would do your yesterday every day and you'll be in a WhatsApp group with us and we have to reply to you within five minutes.
10:42 - 10:46
But apparently, David doesn't think that's such a great idea.
10:46 - 10:57
The extent to which I have whittled down my co-worker to this still quite complicated offering where, David, you can go over and fix their bike. No, please, please.
10:57 - 11:04
It's a really good idea. Just for 87,000 pounds a year, David will fix your bike wherever you are.
11:04 - 11:16
He will get on a plane. Yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm. Add free episodes, early releases, live streams, merch, and your yesterday opt out.
11:16 - 11:24
If you would like to be in it for life with no parole, go to yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm. And now, here is the latest...
11:24 - 11:36
Just before we cut off, Mars Bar asked us to record this and I think he was thinking like a 30 to 40 second add-on that would just go at the start of the episode.
11:36 - 11:41
I'm looking at it, we're over 10 minutes. We're over 10 minutes.
11:41 - 11:53
But it's been a good 10 minutes. If I'd been listening, I'd be like, this is good, I've enjoyed this. So, yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm. Do you know what the, I've said the website maybe 50 times, do you know what it is, David?
11:53 - 12:00
Yes, it is yesterday.davidandmaxpod.newmembers.extra for life.
12:00 - 12:24
yesterdaypod.supportingcast.fm And now, here is our latest episode of Mayhem, which we recorded last week. And for the tape, we also recorded our first ever bonus episode but Mars Bar and David both decided it was so terrible.
12:24 - 12:38
It included the worst quiz I've ever done that they refused to let it go to air. But once we hit a certain number of subscribers, I promise I will release the think of a, I will release the think of a thing tapes.
12:38 - 12:55
So, listeners, in the middle of it, producer Will was on the knobs and he did an extraordinary thing and took a photo of the Zoom-y thing where we record these and Max has a look of glee in his eyes and I have my head
12:55 - 13:03
in my hands and that sums up much of what we do, but particularly the last episode that will never be heard.
13:03 - 13:07
It will be heard. Once we get past Finn Taylor and
13:07 - 13:22
the rest is history on subscriptions, we will release the think of a thing tapes, which genuinely was the first moment where David showed real, I would say, sadness, maybe even anger, and maybe a real regret that he decided to ever come on this journey
13:22 - 13:31
with me, like genuine regret. It wasn't like funny regret. It was like real existential regret. I don't want to do this anymore.
13:31 - 13:38
It's the first time I've ever contacted a barrister to ask if there are any loopholes in the phrase in it for life.
13:38 - 13:44
Okay, so everyone subscribe, please. YesterdayPod.supportingcast.fm and we'd really appreciate that. And now here is the episode we recorded last week.
Podcasts. There are millions of then.
13:44 - 13:45
Some might say too many.
13:45 - 13:45
I have one already.
13:45 - 13:47
I don't have any, because there are enough.
13:47 - 13:51
Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it. And they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
13:51 - 13:53
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
13:53 - 13:54
Why is that? Are they scared?
14:20 - 14:23
Too afraid of being censored by the man?
14:23 - 14:29
Possibly. But not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
14:29 - 14:30
We try and say it at the same time, Max.
14:30 - 14:32
What did you do yesterday?
14:32 - 14:33
What did you do yesterday?
14:33 - 14:38
That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more.
14:38 - 14:40
Day before yesterday, Max?
14:40 - 14:43
The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
14:43 - 14:47
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
14:47 - 14:49
And I'm David O'Doherty.
14:49 - 15:03
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem from the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday? My name is Max Rushden. Alongside me, David O'Doherty. David, welcome.
15:03 - 15:09
I am very happy to be here. We're still having a new listener drive, of course.
15:09 - 15:10
Oh, how's it going?
15:10 - 15:16
Well, this is why I've summoned you here. I've watched some of your planking videos, and
15:16 - 15:25
they are... So, people... Who may not have looked at Max's Instagram since the Ben Elton episode and his five-minute planks.
15:25 - 15:32
He does a five-minute plank, and I wasn't sure if he did, because he's 67 or something.
15:32 - 15:36
Yeah. You, however, choose to do them videoed...
15:36 - 15:37
Yeah. Yeah.
15:37 - 15:41
...with your face really close to the screen.
15:41 - 15:42
That is giving us..
15:43 - 15:44
No Holds Barred...
15:44 - 15:46
POV Shagging Max. Is that what you're saying?
15:50 - 16:00
I even made myself feel a bit sick saying that out loud. So here's what happened. I did it, I did the first one, I think I did a minute.
16:00 - 16:07
People forwarded it to other people. I mean, that's a strange thing to do. It's the world we're in.
16:07 - 16:09
Yeah. It got a huge amount of feedback.
16:09 - 16:19
It got a huge number of views. And then I did it the next day, and I did one and a half minutes, and the audience kind of halved. And then I did it the next day, and I did heading towards two minutes, and then Mrs. Rushden...
16:20 - 16:28
She interrupted me because I said I was hanging up the washing, and she burst into the room and said, what are you doing? And I said, I'm doing my planking video for Instagram.
16:28 - 16:41
And she, I mean, she almost filed for divorce at that exact moment. And then the next day I did two minutes, and the audience halved again. Then I think I was tired the next day, so I only did a minute and a half.
16:41 - 16:48
I have missed two days. So it's been like a, I feel like the journey has come to an end. And then I don't want to spoil, well, it's your yesterday, isn't it?
16:49 - 16:57
Although I haven't done it in a while. I am also doing my yesterday. Maybe if we launched a new venture, but we can't give anything away yet.
16:57 - 17:04
I have noticed, Max, there's been a lot of people being like, we like it, but it'd be great if there was a bit more of it.
17:04 - 17:05
Of this podcast.
17:05 - 17:10
Yeah. In a way that people have been saying, we don't want any more planking.
17:10 - 17:23
I mean, many people have said, and Charlie Baker did this a lot on the radio say, are you sure it's planking? And I'm like, we can't do that joke anymore. Ben Elton planks for five minutes every morning.
17:23 - 17:34
You're like, fair enough. You know, his age, that's impressive. But the one thing that I have noticed from that video is that, because when you're planking, you put your head down, it's quite tiring.
17:34 - 17:39
One, it's not very good because it's not conversational for Instagram because you're tired, right?
17:39 - 17:40
It's awful content.
17:40 - 17:55
It's just possibly the worst content you could live. But when I look down, I've really got, I really have a bald patch and I really wasn't, I didn't know until then. Cause I cut my own hair most of the time. It's very rare. I get the drive by from the hairdresser.
17:55 - 18:04
Then your hair has just been cut. So it doesn't, but I really do. Charlie on the radio said yesterday, he allayed my fears by saying that most of my work is front facing.
18:04 - 18:22
I mean, I have one too. I have a more considerable one than you. I only see it in lifts occasionally because sometimes wherever you're standing by virtue of the sort of three-way mirrors, but
18:22 - 18:26
we could pretend that we've become Cistercian monks.
18:26 - 18:29
You know, where you shave the...
18:29 - 18:30
Friar Tuck style. Yeah.
18:30 - 18:37
So that will involve wearing those sort of brown robes and sandals. Yeah. A brown cassock.
18:37 - 18:42
I mean, literally Charlie and I had this exact conversation that I should rebrand as a friar.
18:43 - 18:53
Would this help things? One big worry is at Melbourne Museum and the Children's Gallery, there is a bit where a mirror bit where it's like mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror. There's like a thousand mirrors.
18:53 - 19:05
Obviously the lift, I understand. It's like that, but like times a million. That could be really where I start to like drink Rogaine or, you know, get a hair transplant.
19:05 - 19:08
But anyway, I don't think I will. It's okay.
19:08 - 19:11
All because of planking. All because of Ben Elton.
19:11 - 19:21
It's all because of Ben Elton. I would never have decided to plank for five minutes unless Ben Elton said he planked for five minutes. I'm now it was one of my best video. And
19:21 - 19:28
interestingly, from that first video, I got so many followers. And I was like, what do they think?
19:29 - 19:41
Who are the people who before were like not that guy. But now maybe this is, you know, every man fitness tips. Is that what this is? What do they think they're going to get?
19:41 - 19:52
I still get, if you go into the dark folder on Instagram, still every week there are three fitness type guys, Gavin Fitness type tips who are asking me to collab on
19:52 - 19:55
a journey, a fitness journey.
19:55 - 19:59
Yeah, turn this old sloppy bod into some prime sirloin.
19:59 - 20:07
But maybe we should go for it together. And obviously this is the first podcast we've done and
20:07 - 20:15
everyone has discussed the diary of the CEO man, Stephen Bartlett saying he had a glass of wine and it ruined three days of his life.
20:15 - 20:24
The best bit is when he said, I didn't podcast as well. You mentioned saying, didn't you have like four bottles of Asahi?
20:24 - 20:28
Yeah, during. You had them during one of ours. Yes.
20:28 - 20:35
Well, that's where everything in showbiz came from. Without the Vietnamese lager, the big yellow tins.
20:36 - 20:38
We'd never have got it.
20:38 - 20:49
To the listeners, a couple of times, Max has barely been hanging in there. So to keep the vibe going, he's drank a few cans or bottles during the podcast. But then
20:49 - 20:55
I noticed, particularly when it's my yesterday, you go into this real thousand yard stare.
20:55 - 20:58
A fuge state. Is that what it is?
20:58 - 21:03
In order to keep you awake, I just have to start making up stuff about my day.
21:03 - 21:19
Just. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Then I tasered the Helen Copter and you're like, oh, wow. There's an episode of this I recorded in Australia.
21:19 - 21:33
I don't remember many details, but I had been out really late with one of Helen's Irish friends who lives in Melbourne. And I remember thinking, God, I hope I get away with this now because it was my yesterday.
21:33 - 21:37
And I was really good. It's one of my favorite episodes of ours.
21:37 - 21:40
You're powered by the anti-Bartlett juice.
21:41 - 21:54
That's what it is. I mean, the last laugh's on him because he's got a 50 squillion pounds and a square jaw and he doesn't need a hair transplant. So there we go. I bet he can plank for five minutes.
21:54 - 21:55
Yeah, he could.
21:55 - 22:04
Anyway, Briony Mae Williams was a lovely episode. Daniel writes about we got onto Santa Smut. Did we? We did. We got onto novels.
22:05 - 22:12
Briony was reading Smut. At any opportunity, whenever she got a spare minute, she would bring out a pornographic novel to read.
22:12 - 22:18
I don't know when we got onto, could we write some bike stuff or some antiques roadshow stuff?
22:18 - 22:21
And many people pointed out that, you know, Lovejoy.
22:21 - 22:23
That was Lovejoy. It was.
22:23 - 22:33
Was there banging in Lovejoy though? So Lovejoy was Ian McShane to the listeners who was Deadwood then which was quite a pivot.
22:33 - 22:44
But he wasn't Deadwood in Lovejoy. I can't remember. I mean, like Tinker wasn't banging, was he?
22:44 - 22:50
I don't know. It was a boy cast. Those three old men who looked like they'd sort of not got the last of the summer wine gig.
22:50 - 22:53
But maybe he was a bit of a you know, he was a bit of a player maybe.
22:53 - 22:58
He used to look at the camera and wink. He did the flea, he invented fleabag basically.
22:58 - 23:00
Right. Him and Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell.
23:00 - 23:03
They would look down the barrel. I didn't know that.
23:03 - 23:05
Yeah. Look to you at home.
23:05 - 23:15
Well, Daniel spoke about Santa Smut saying he's limited to short stories as he only comes once a year. But then if you think about it, he really does like, you know,
23:15 - 23:21
I'm sorry if I drag this podcast even further into the gutter than he thought it could.
23:21 - 23:29
I was intrigued by her talking about making scones with things that don't sound nice.
23:29 - 23:38
Avocado scone. But then I looked at her page and she made baked bean scones, which seem an awful idea.
23:38 - 23:45
They all seem fine. Like they all turn out. So I don't know if she's cheating.
23:45 - 23:57
You know, if she just has some scones that she's got from Greggs that she pulls out of the oven, they're not really made from baked beans. Or in fact, you can make scones from absolutely anything.
23:57 - 24:02
A lot of the comments, though, were people who'd heard her on the podcast.
24:02 - 24:03
Oh that's nice.
24:03 - 24:06
I think it may be the center of the known universe.
24:06 - 24:17
Robert says, re the David Lloyd reference in the Briony May Williams episode. It's not the place you want to be going to in Newcastle, Australia. It's a funeral director's different twist on a deadlift.
24:17 - 24:23
Regarding planking, David says, if David thinks he can plank for an hour, did you say you could plank for an hour?
24:23 - 24:25
Yeah, because there's nothing to it.
24:25 - 24:27
He must be using his massive head as a cantilever.
24:27 - 24:43
I was mostly annoyed that we both, from a graphic design point of view, there is competition between us, because when we put out a podcast, we both make a sort of an ad for it.
24:43 - 24:51
I've always considered, no, it is definitely the case that my graphic design is superior to yours, and yet...
24:51 - 24:53
Yeah, you're ahead of me.
24:53 - 25:03
Briony chose to use your big, like, crayon-flipping page with her name written on it and her face on it.
25:03 - 25:13
Well, you see, I invited her to collaborate. Now, I don't know what the ethics of inviting people to collaborate is, because I often invite you to collaborate, and you don't collaborate. I'm like, well, if David isn't,
25:13 - 25:21
then I can't really expect, you know, Gary Lineker to. But, like, it's hit and miss. I'm just, because I'll just, if anybody wants to collaborate, I'm like, fine.
25:21 - 25:34
I'm honored that people have asked. But some people, you're not sure, and I don't think in the ethics of, you can't say, do you mind doing, it sounds a bit desperate, doesn't it? If you say, I've asked you to collaborate on this post. But she collaborated, so thank you, Briony.
25:34 - 25:39
Hey, I saw you and Gary Lineker did another podcast together.
25:39 - 25:43
Well, that's my yesterday, which isn't on today's episode.
25:43 - 25:44
So I can't.
25:44 - 25:46
If only there was some other one.
25:46 - 25:48
I know. Wow. Yeah.
25:48 - 25:52
Obviously, I want to know, did he flash back to his yesterday and he was...
25:52 - 25:54
I can't give this information.
25:55 - 26:11
Miranda in Fleet says, the only correct answer for an alternative animal to the Soctopus sock-drying device on a recent episode is, of course, a centipede. Or the Soctipede. A hundred legs equates to the capacity of 50 pairs of socks to be laundered at
26:11 - 26:14
one time. I'm up for Dragon's Den if you are, Max. Thank you, Miranda.
26:14 - 26:21
Unfortunately, sounds too much like the Soctipedo. I don't even want to think about what that is.
26:21 - 26:35
What was the episode where you were talking about Adidas Predators, and then we came up with the Puma Nonce, and that really did make me laugh. It's a great design, Clive, but I'm not sure. I just wouldn't call it that.
26:35 - 26:41
I think in years to come, that's not a good name for a football boot. What about the David O'Sockety Air Dryer? Much obliged, Tim.
26:41 - 26:47
So what is that though? Is that the shape of me? To the listeners, this was, in an attempt...
26:47 - 26:53
When you say to the listeners? Who else would you be addressing? Who else possibly are you addressing?
26:53 - 27:04
Because I don't want to make it seem like I'm just trying to... Because we are in this for life, you know, various mental decreptitudes may creep in towards the end.
27:04 - 27:05
That is true.
27:05 - 27:12
And I'll have to remind you of anything. Like the start of the podcast will just be, who did we have on last week?
27:12 - 27:26
In every episode, you'll say, Bristol Airport is just a farmer with a dream. And I just won't stop you. I'll just be like, we have to let him do that joke. We just have to. It is a good one. I like it. It always makes me smile.
27:26 - 27:30
So just let him have that Bristol Airport joke. We need to let him have it.
27:30 - 27:40
It's not like you've ever repeated one of your three anecdotes. So we've established I needed a plastic device to hang multiple smalls from.
27:41 - 27:48
And what I wanted was the one shaped like an octopus. I ended up getting the one shaped like a jellyfish.
27:48 - 28:02
I did put it out there. What other animals could you mimic? Giraffe. Some people said that seems like it's too big an animal. Like I get that it has a long neck, but
28:02 - 28:08
how many pairs of underpants would you get on that neck? Maybe like six or something like that.
28:08 - 28:10
Well hang on, is the neck horizontal?
28:10 - 28:20
Well, otherwise we would have to kill the giraffe and then put it because it's a rare, I've never seen a giraffe with the neck parallel to the ground.
28:20 - 28:28
I wasn't thinking we were using a live giraffe to dry our washing. That is, I would argue, impractical at best.
28:28 - 28:35
Well, I mean, I guess you could hang other stuff from the legs then, but we want a smaller, more compact animal.
28:35 - 28:38
I think so, with more bits coming out.
28:38 - 28:43
Because you know, they might be long, but it's actually, when you boil it down, it's the same number of bits as a cat.
28:43 - 28:52
It really is. What is a giraffe if not just a sort of stretch cat? Oh my God.
28:52 - 29:06
Hi Max and David, I really love your podcast, says Harry. But he wrote this before the conversation we just had about giraffes and cats. Me and my dad listen to it in the car. We really love the Rose Matafeo episode because we're currently in New Zealand.
29:06 - 29:19
My dad always laughs at the same two bits of the intro, when David says the man and when you both try to say the name of the show together, even though on other pods he skips the intros. Oh, that's good. We are also from Teddington. I am 10 years old. Am I your youngest listener?
29:20 - 29:29
There are some parts I don't know a 10-year-old needs to hear, but we've established this is a great entry-level way to learning about the realities, the harsh realities of life.
29:29 - 29:32
Never kill a giraffe to use it as a washing line.
29:32 - 29:38
There we are, Harry. Don't do that. That would be the lead story in New Zealand as well.
29:38 - 29:52
Max, on the podcast last week, you, and again, because I don't have the journalistic training that you have, you just put it out there that you bought six pairs of trousers and were probably going to bring them back from the op shop.
29:52 - 29:56
No, no, no, no. I picked up six, tried them all on, and bought one.
29:56 - 30:00
Oh, okay. Sorry. I thought you brought six pairs of trousers back.
30:00 - 30:01
No, that would be insanity.
30:01 - 30:11
Yes, yes. Because I, we need goals in our health journeys, and I got a pair of amazing Bjorn Borg tennis shorts.
30:11 - 30:13
Oh, little short ones.
30:13 - 30:23
Yeah, they're tiny, and I want to fit into them. Because at the moment, they're fine, but when I laugh, they have a pop button. It makes quite a loud sound.
30:23 - 30:32
Which never happened to Borg. Maybe that's why Borg was so serious on court. Because if anything funny ever happened, his shorts would fall down.
30:32 - 30:41
Yeah, if Cliff Richards started singing, or someone dropped a tennis ball, or a pigeon appeared and sent to court, literally lost their minds.
30:41 - 30:51
He had to stay totally morose for fear of the giant pop, and then his shorts just falling down, like when you used to do judo. Did you used to do judo?
30:51 - 31:05
There was always someone at judo who hadn't tied his trousers on. And there would always be two of you, like, holding each other's judo shirts, but none of you had a fucking clue what you were doing. And then you're just waddling around in the middle, and then someone, Mark Cooper's trousers would fall down.
31:05 - 31:16
And you know, it brought the house down. Absolutely brought the house down. Hi team! In the last episode of Midweek Madness, Max is not convinced about the virtues of a bath of chowder. And if you need a wee, what are you going to do? He objects.
31:17 - 31:26
As if the same question does not equally apply to a regular bath full of water. Or am I the only one not pissing in the bath? Everything is showbiz. Concerned in Christchurch.
31:26 - 31:30
It was such an odd question to ask.
31:30 - 31:32
I don't think so.
31:32 - 31:43
It's so indelicate. It's my final meal. I'm about to die, so therefore I'm having a bath of chowder. Of course I'm not going to pee in it. For goodness sake.
31:43 - 31:50
No, I understand that, but the question from Concerned in Christchurch is, if you're in a hot bath, would you wee if you needed to?
31:50 - 31:54
No. The only fluids I've weed in are the sea.
31:54 - 31:55
The sea, correct.
31:55 - 31:58
The ultimate chowder, some call it.
31:58 - 32:04
It's quite deconstructed as a chowder, isn't it? The sea, isn't it?
32:04 - 32:09
Some would say too salty. And a pool a few times when I was little.
32:09 - 32:10
Yeah, okay.
32:10 - 32:13
And just trapped, you know, or just didn't want to leave.
32:13 - 32:15
Of course. Yeah, I understand that.
32:15 - 32:16
I apologise for that now.
32:16 - 32:23
I wouldn't pee in the pool now. Mainly because I just wonder if I'd had a Berocca and then...
32:23 - 32:32
Then you'd be doing front crawl and it'd be like the Red Arrows with a trail just shooting at it. It'd be so obvious to the lifeguard.
32:32 - 32:40
More I'd be in the kids' pool, so I'd be very stationary. And then it would just be like a sort of Ready Breck advert from the waist down.
32:40 - 32:43
And it would be really obvious. So that's why I stop myself.
32:43 - 32:45
Listeners, what other liquids have you peed in?
32:46 - 32:52
I feel like you're having an existential crisis today, Doddles.
32:52 - 33:02
There was always the fear of the tiny animal swimming up the pee. Remember that? It was very much a sort of 90s fear.
33:02 - 33:05
But that even came from weeing in a river.
33:05 - 33:07
It might swim upstream.
33:07 - 33:13
Yeah, as a River Monsters fan yourself, that must be a constant fear in your life.
33:13 - 33:27
I mean, I'm sure there's been an episode. For every episode, the guy probably was just pissed and fell in the river. It might not have been the Galulalang, the halibut of eastern Ecuador. It was actually, he just had a few.
33:27 - 33:41
The other fear was peeing on an electric fence. That was a major thing. Because as someone who grew up partially on an island, there are electric fences. So you would be slightly worried where you put it.
33:41 - 33:44
And if it was really cold, were you worried about it freezing?
33:45 - 33:49
Hang on, you Charles O'Shackleton anecdote about that, isn't there?
33:49 - 33:56
He got stuck to the mast. Yeah. No, I've never been in that situation. And I really can't imagine it.
33:56 - 34:12
Let's ramp this up, David, with the David Squires quiz. Mike says, Hi chaps, after learning of Max's life in postcodes and realising we didn't live that far from each other, although 10 years after Max, near Cowley Road in Oxford, this triggered my brain to move
34:12 - 34:20
towards someone who might be the answer to the David Squires quiz. I used to live on Rectory Road, which had the star pub free pool on a Monday circa 2008.
34:20 - 34:35
Years later, I met a guy who told me he used to drink in this exact pub with the band Supergrass and had many a sordid tale. My guess is Gaz Coombs from Supergrass. Cheers, Mike. Producer Will, is Gaz Coombs the answer to the David Squires quiz?
34:35 - 34:39
I have no idea. I'll message Michael and find out.
34:39 - 34:51
It's like the Montenegro tease once again. The Gaz Coombs tease. Producer Mars Bar did say you'd never, ever no one will ever, ever get it. And I reckon someone would eventually guess Gaz Coombs.
34:51 - 34:53
I actually have one. I have another one.
34:54 - 35:05
And it's a similarly rock star one another secret fan of Oxford United is Philip Selway who's the drummer from Radiohead.
35:05 - 35:06
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:06 - 35:09
So could it have been his son then?
35:09 - 35:19
The son of one of Radiohead that isn't Tom York. Do you think that was the one that Adam Buxton sent a DVD to? Or whatever.
35:20 - 35:24
In the Adam Buxton episode. Could it have been Philip Selway?
35:24 - 35:38
And then how would you know from I feel if it was say Ghislaine Maxwell, you would know her. And therefore the father who supported Oxford United you would know him. But how would you identify? Sorry
35:38 - 35:48
is your dad the drummer from Radiohead? I don't know if anyone would ever say that. Just some guy in Dublin. But we can ask Mars Bar the next time we see him.
35:48 - 36:00
Caroline in Scotland says I'm a new listener and was enjoying the James Acaster episode. Wow, you've got so much to go. When you were discussing searching for deer in Richmond Park when a deer ran past my car. I just wanted to
36:00 - 36:07
say how excited I am for this new interactive style podcast. I can't wait to find out what else there is in store. Fantastic concept. Keep doing what you do.
36:07 - 36:20
Thank you, Caroline. And Austin in Dublin says, hello guys, listen to Max's Yesterday Yesterday on the way to work where someone wrote in to say she was spreading flora proactive on her bread at the exact moment Max mentioned it in the previous week.
36:20 - 36:34
Five minutes later on the pod, cheese strings were correctly guessed in the curdle quiz. As I looked out of the window on the bus passing a school in sunny Dublin I noticed a teenager walking towards the school gate chewing with something in his hand. Surely
36:34 - 36:46
not, I thought to myself. Yes, he was eating fucking cheese strings. I freaked out briefly and then immediately forgot about it until just now when my wife was spreading flora proactive on her bread. Is this some sort of Yesterday pod inception thing?
36:46 - 36:54
More proof, if any was needed, that this podcast is the centre of the goddamn multiverse. I'm sure you agree. In it for life, etc. Austin in Dublin.
36:54 - 37:05
Austin, can you just the next person you see, ask them if they are a fan of Oxford United or their father is, and so we can end that. As regards to Piedmontese...
37:05 - 37:07
Oh yeah, we have a guess on this too.
37:07 - 37:15
I've had a little think myself. You gave away information last week.
37:16 - 37:29
You said Devo, the osteopath for the 2007 Australian Taekwondo team used to get lifts from this person in the early 90s.
37:29 - 37:35
So that places it in time. That knocks a few off the list.
37:35 - 37:40
How many Australians were there in the 1990s?
37:40 - 37:42
I don't know much about Taekwondo.
37:42 - 37:45
Right. Is that the song? Don't know much about...
37:45 - 37:49
Well, Judo and Taekwondo have both been mentioned on this episode.
37:49 - 37:54
I think this is the ultimate martial arts podcast. I don't know the other one.
37:55 - 38:00
I do know that Australia won their first ever Taekwondo gold medal.
38:01 - 38:18
This doesn't even work now because there's no way you would be able to identify Lauren Burns winner of the first Australian Taekwondo medal at the 2000 Olympics. But that was someone who could have been driving Devo around.
38:18 - 38:24
It's possible. If he was into Taekwondo in the early 90s. It's a big guess.
38:25 - 38:35
The face I'm getting now is sadder than second 45 of the planking face. So, I think that's my answer. What did a listener wonder?
38:35 - 38:45
Victoria in Edinburgh says, long time listener, first time emailer. I was listening to the pod after my 19 month old settled for bedtime earlier than expected. Unsure what to do with this surprise time on my hands,
38:45 - 38:59
I decided to ignore all important tasks and instead research the famous person Max saw at Piedimontes. I choose not to reveal my incredible research methods and instead go straight to the guest, Paul Dempsey of the band Something for Kate.
38:59 - 39:06
Keep up the amazing work with this pod. Love to Mrs. Rushden and the Helen Copter. Booking tickets to see DOD when he comes to Edinburgh this August. Thank you, Victoria.
39:08 - 39:12
Hang on, do you know this band? Like, you've good knowledge of 90s music.
39:12 - 39:18
I'll tell you why I know this band. It's not because I was stood next to Paul Dempsey at the Cucumbers at Piedimontes.
39:18 - 39:33
It's because he came on the project on one of the episodes that I hosted along with someone else who's really famous. in Australia from about 20 years ago because they'd done a collab and then I had to interview a band, which I would say the only thing I'm worse at is interviewing boxers.
39:33 - 39:36
What's it like being in a band?
39:36 - 39:39
Yeah, do you get tired doing the drumming?
39:39 - 39:50
Yeah, especially when they were big 20 years ago. Is touring the same as it was back then? Did you realise back then, you know, what it was all going to be?
39:50 - 39:59
Just another generic, terrible question that they're looking at. Can't you think of something else to ask us about? How many guitars have you got? Leave me alone.
39:59 - 40:02
Where do you get your ideas for your songs?
40:02 - 40:08
Yeah, exactly. So it's incorrect, but I do know who that is. So, very well done.
40:08 - 40:11
Max, is it Grant Hackett? Can I ask a second guess?
40:11 - 40:16
Who's Grant Hackett? But without giving away that I don't know who Grant Hackett is.
40:16 - 40:24
Okay, it's not Grant Hackett then. Grant Hackett is the other famous millennium swimmer from Australia who wasn't Ian Thorpe.
40:24 - 40:32
Not Grant Hackett. Grant Hackett or Grant Hackett. It's none of the Grants. It's not Russell Grant.
40:32 - 40:41
It's not Grant Mitchell. It's not Grant Holt. David, forgive me. Do we do They're Just Normal Countries, Redux Now, and Curdle at the End?
40:41 - 40:45
Or do we do Curdle Now and They're Just Normal Countries?
40:45 - 40:46
We do it the first way around.
40:46 - 40:49
Now, Mrs. Rushden thinks the jingles are too long.
40:49 - 40:50
She is my wife.
40:50 - 40:56
I love her, so she's giving straight feedback. Especially the cheese one. She thinks everybody skips it.
40:56 - 41:04
She doesn't think there's anybody who listens who doesn't skip the cheese. And ideally, we don't want people to skip parts of the podcast.
41:05 - 41:10
I don't think. Anyway, I'm just giving that feedback. She wanted me to give that feedback.
41:10 - 41:23
I do recall when we did it live in Melbourne and the audience were very excited that Sam Campbell would be coming out eventually, and then we played them a six-minute jingle about cheese. They didn't look that happy.
41:23 - 41:29
It's time for They're Just Normal Countries Redux.
41:29 - 41:31
I am the one and only.
41:31 - 41:44
What country could I be? I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be?
41:44 - 41:56
Here we go. Northern Marianas Islands, Lesotho, Malawi, Suriname, South Sudan, Sao Tome and Principe, Liechtenstein, Montenegro, correct, Guyana, Curaçao.
41:56 - 42:09
Dear What Did You Do Yesterday gang, on the assumption that this podcast is in fact the centre of everything, immediately after watching Max's video of himself attempting to outplank Ben Elton while repeatedly insisting he was not trying to be a fitness influencer despite, by definition,
42:09 - 42:23
attempting to influence people's fitness, YouTube served me a video about the disputed territory's enclaves and assorted border weirdness between France and Spain. Given that the algorithm clearly knows something I don't, my guess for They're Just Normal Countries Part 2 is Andorra.
42:24 - 42:37
And Max, in case you're wondering how your influencing is going, I did briefly consider giving the five-minute plank a go, but fortunately, my albeit reasonably mild ADHD means I keep getting distracted before I can become insufferable about core strength
42:37 - 42:43
in it for life, but not planks. Amy, Christchurch, New Zealand. David, please bring your next tour here.
42:43 - 42:49
I fear with this because Andorra is a skiing destination, isn't it? I think it's in the mountains.
42:49 - 42:57
We're big in the skiing community. Alberto Tomba loves this popular. Play it out with speakers in Kitzbühel. I love the cowbells.
42:57 - 43:04
Great. Keep going. I want three more skiing references because I'm pretty sure that's all of yours.
43:04 - 43:09
Martin and Graham Bell, they listen to it together. The British brothers.
43:09 - 43:10
Eddie the Eagle Edwards.
43:10 - 43:12
Eddie the Eagle Edwards likes it.
43:12 - 43:15
Cool Runnings. Something about Cool Runnings.
43:15 - 43:29
There we go. I could be the next David Vine, couldn't I? With that sort of skiing. What's the question, producer Will? Is Andorra a normal country's redux? How big are we in Andorra?
43:29 - 43:31
I'm going to say 260.
43:31 - 43:34
260. I'm going to say 141.
43:34 - 43:39
We've lost touch with the common man there, David.
43:40 - 43:54
That's what's happened just then. We've started to believe the hype around this podcast and we've been brought sadly down to earth that there are only 25 sets of salopettes listening to What Did You Do Yesterday?
43:54 - 43:55
What are salopettes?
43:55 - 43:57
They're waterproof dungarees for skiing.
43:57 - 43:58
Okay, yeah.
43:58 - 44:00
Hey, David, what time did you wake up yesterday?
44:00 - 44:11
The morning is the thing here. It had an incredible... So I was woken not by an alarm but by 7.05 by a man.
44:11 - 44:19
It's still warm, although the weather is very changeable here. We slept with the window open and there was a man fixing the roof next door.
44:20 - 44:29
Yeah. But more than that, he was singing the song Boys, Boys, Boys by Sabrina. Yeah!
44:29 - 44:41
Well, this is the greatest start to your day ever. I'm going to say this beats every Helen's alarm went off, she annoyed me because she was going to Pilates or whatever.
44:41 - 44:45
This is a man is singing Sabrina Boys, Boys, Boys on the roof next to you.
44:45 - 44:49
Boys, boys, boys looking for a good time.
44:49 - 44:51
Boys, boys, boys.
44:51 - 44:57
Yeah, it then caused me to look up that video which is absolutely crazy.
44:57 - 45:08
It's such a horny period of 80s Italo disco. It's just a big booby lady in a swimming pool singing the whole, like sort of single shot basically.
45:08 - 45:18
Right, did you do that straight away? So like you're in bed listening to a man sing Boys, Boys, Boys while watching Boys, Boys, Boys on your phone.
45:18 - 45:29
And then Helen wakes up and sees what I'm looking at on my phone and... I have to explain. No, a roofer was singing it. But it's definitely the case, Max. He was singing...
45:29 - 45:37
A 50-year-old Irishman was singing Boys, Boys, Boys. Is that the best you can come up with, David? It's over.
45:37 - 45:40
Why was he singing Boys, Boys, Boys?
45:40 - 45:44
I don't know, but I'm so pleased he was.
45:44 - 45:57
Yeah, unless he had the three other members of his roofing gang up there fixing the bitumen on the roof or whatever. That's his sort of clarion call to the Boys, Boys, Boys.
45:57 - 46:02
Was it an emergency fit? Because it does seem early to start hammering away on a roof.
46:02 - 46:14
Yeah, I don't know, but I can't give you any more information than the fact that it was definitely coming from the roof next door. I didn't hear the sound of the lamp, or I didn't hear knocking or anything.
46:14 - 46:21
And you didn't hear that he was singing along to one of those really big, impregnable radios that builders have.
46:21 - 46:23
No, no, no. It wasn't a cappella.
46:23 - 46:25
It was a cappella.
46:25 - 46:34
Unless it was a really rare Irish summer bird that it's call is Sabrina's Boys Boys Boys.
46:34 - 46:39
You'd think you'd have heard about it, wouldn't you? That would have been on the one show.
46:39 - 46:45
So, here's the revelation. I am asleep, and I'm woken by this beautiful song.
46:46 - 46:57
And the reason I'm asleep and I've slept so well is I'd say for the last six months on this podcast, I've been complaining about hip pain.
46:57 - 47:01
Now, I know I see your eyes roll when I say that, but...
47:01 - 47:02
No, I have hip pain too.
47:02 - 47:03
I've tried...
47:03 - 47:06
This is the young person's podcast.
47:06 - 47:07
So many stretches.
47:07 - 47:22
I've tried so many stretches. And I've looked up so many stretches and then the algo just served me the stretch. I always knew there was a stretch.
47:23 - 47:34
It turns out that the issue with them... So I worst case scenarioed it where I was thinking, oh no, my hips are simply worn out. Little husk hips like yours.
47:34 - 47:47
But I'm a young man in my prime and I haven't been trying to keep up with 23-year-olds on the football pitch for the last five years. And cycling doesn't really take it out of your hips. However,
47:47 - 47:52
I do know the problem with cycling is the movement is entirely lateral.
47:53 - 48:04
And suddenly the gram started sending me these stretches which basically involved doing little circles with the hips. Going roundy roundies.
48:04 - 48:07
So hang on, am I standing up to do these or am I...
48:07 - 48:11
You're in a position called 90-90 where you get...
48:11 - 48:13
Sabrina's, that's Sabrina's.
48:13 - 48:23
You lie down on the ground, you get this knee leg in a 90, your two legs in a 90 with your crotch, and your right leg on a 90 you do,
48:23 - 48:35
so the classic one is you flip from one side to the other all the way over and then if you lift your heel and then make them do little movements. Look,
48:35 - 48:49
this part is not interesting. What's interesting is I've slept so soundly and I didn't wake with the piercing pain in the fronts of my thighs. So it's been a great night.
48:50 - 49:02
It's my turn to make breakfast and in the delirium of the Sabrina invoked no hip pain I make a breakfast that's too healthy.
49:02 - 49:05
I go too healthy with the breakfast.
49:06 - 49:21
I go Greek yogurt and then some sort of granola that really needs milk of some kind to not make it like shards of steel and then I put some toppers on it and bring it in.
49:21 - 49:23
What are health toppers?
49:23 - 49:27
Oh, I see those ones. A bit of grit and gravel in there.
49:27 - 49:32
Yeah, but it's grit upon grit with not enough Greek yogurt on it.
49:32 - 49:33
Is it rejected?
49:33 - 49:48
It's not rejected, but end up having to do a sort of kid thing of just swirling it around in the Greek yogurt in an attempt to make that penetrate it and make it edible. Look, it's fine. It's absolutely fine.
49:48 - 50:03
I have done a preview show the night before, so now it's time to listen to that. Helen Copter goes to work unhappy that I've made such a healthy breakfast, but
50:03 - 50:07
I've filled her with the necessary vim and vigor for the day.
50:07 - 50:18
I need to listen to the show from the night before, which is the first one that's not embarrassingly bad, to be honest. I'm doing these free shows at 6.30.
50:18 - 50:21
Is this upstairs in the little pub?
50:21 - 50:29
Yeah, so it's no one night out, is the idea of this. It's just something we sneak in, 50 minutes.
50:29 - 50:45
Former Irish Olympian Annalise Murphy had come to the one from last week with a Brompton, and with her partner who also had a Brompton. You know you're doing all right when there's two audience members with Bromptons beside each other.
50:45 - 50:47
What was her gold medal in?
50:47 - 50:49
I think it was the silver, Max.
50:49 - 50:50
But what was it in?
50:51 - 50:52
A sailing, okay, fine.
50:52 - 51:05
And she's pivoted now. I think she's trying to do very serious cycling. Something that I'll probably do in a few years' time. Pivot away from no, actually no, I'll keep doing the podcast. But we're all still...
51:05 - 51:19
I go for a walk to listen to this podcast. We go to the park where I do more of my hip exercises. I'm basically a hip exercises guy now.
51:19 - 51:23
I get a text from former guest on the podcast, Celya A.B.
51:23 - 51:29
Oh I see. Has she found the key fob? Is that she telling you she's found the key fob?
51:29 - 51:38
She's on tour at the moment with Nick Muhammad, who you may know from Ted Lasso and many other things.
51:38 - 51:47
She's in Belfast and they're coming down together and I say, oh great, we'll come to the gig tonight.
51:47 - 51:53
Can we get tickets? That would be great. She says, yes, meet me for lunch at 1.15.
51:53 - 51:55
So the day's got some structure.
51:55 - 52:02
She then, however, texts me almost immediately afterwards to say she's quite tired. 15. 15. She's tired.
52:02 - 52:09
till 2.15. She will then text me after that to say, well, let's put it off till 3.15. She's tired.
52:09 - 52:21
I know, but when you're on tour, I get it. You have these notions but because you are basically concentrating for the show, I say, let's just leave it. I'll see you at the show tonight.
52:21 - 52:27
Have you just sat still for the three hours waiting for these text messages? Or have you filled your day?
52:27 - 52:42
The listening to the show takes an hour. It's quite changeable, so I get soaked and come home. And change my outfit and then decide, here's what we'll do. We'll take mum for lunch.
52:42 - 52:43
Ah, lovely.
52:43 - 52:57
My 20-year-old niece is going away for a few weeks, so I get her on board and we are in fact going to take mum. She's getting her hair done.
52:57 - 53:03
We will do the shopping with the list while that's happening, and then we'll all go for lunch afterwards.
53:03 - 53:05
Okay, this is wonderful planning.
53:05 - 53:14
The shopping goes reasonably well, but we will find out. Mum's just written stuff on the list, like stock, you know, bread.
53:15 - 53:25
So obviously, every single thing we get is the wrong thing. But that's okay because we go for lunch then.
53:25 - 53:33
So it's a tiny cafe in a little village and it has a six-page lunch menu.
53:33 - 53:41
And also, we're right beside the kitchen. And I see the size of the kitchen. It's like a quarter the size of your shed. And yet...
53:41 - 53:45
You can get a pad thai or a beef wellington.
53:45 - 53:59
Like, honestly, I lose my mind. And so, while my niece Millie just gets a bagel, which is the correct thing to do, and mum gets like tomato soup with a side salad, I decide to go prawns pill pill.
53:59 - 54:02
And can they do it? Do they deliver?
54:02 - 54:06
They do it. They possibly, no one's ever ordered it before.
54:06 - 54:11
There's an emergency button. The prawn pill pill button.
54:11 - 54:14
Him just leafing through a cookbook.
54:14 - 54:21
Chiseling out the prawns from the freezer. We've got six in here, I'm pretty sure of it.
54:21 - 54:33
It's pretty good, but probably the moral of the story, Max, is just get the things. In a place that does a thing, mostly order that thing.
54:34 - 54:40
Don't go, Joe Mayne. So I need some painting gear, because I'm planning on doing some painting.
54:40 - 54:42
What are you going to paint?
54:42 - 54:42
This place.
54:42 - 55:01
There's been a leak in the roof here as well. I think Boys Boys Boys has fixed it for one of his mates, but there are black marks, so I need my brushes and stuff. I always feel like a loser buying more paint stuff,
55:01 - 55:06
because I have a bag of paint stuff, but the paint stuff bag is in storage.
55:06 - 55:13
And there's something so otherly about going to, I haven't been to the storage place since before I went to Australia.
55:13 - 55:18
Yeah, they're bleak. They're basically where murders happen, aren't they?
55:18 - 55:19
They are. Yeah.
55:19 - 55:28
Murders in gritty northern dramas, like Happy Valley. Someone gets suffocated in a big yellow storage. That's what happens.
55:28 - 55:39
Yeah, what's that series at the moment that's very popular, where they have their memories erased? It's people who work in an office building but they have their minds blanked when they go in.
55:40 - 55:41
They never remember what they do.
55:41 - 55:47
I watched about half an hour of it, Severance. I watched about half an hour and I couldn't, I didn't like it at all.
55:47 - 55:59
That's very much the vibe in the storage facility. Yeah, yeah. It's possible you come out of a storage facility after five minutes and you look at your watch and it's three years later.
55:59 - 56:10
And you just have a photo and you have to piece together. You've got the contents of the room and you have to piece together your whole life from the stuff you've put in storage.
56:10 - 56:12
Wow. This is not bad stuff.
56:12 - 56:13
No, this is good.
56:13 - 56:21
Although the last time we tried to improvise a book, it was clearly just love joy. Chances are another one of our pitches.
56:21 - 56:26
It's hard to do something new. It is hard to do something new.
56:26 - 56:39
Basically, it's too far back, wherever it is. And I'm not taking, I've put all my earthly possessions into an enormous room in this storage facility, and I was hoping the paint stuff might be near the door.
56:39 - 56:46
Right. And you don't want to go climbing in. If you go climbing in, you could just become part of the storage.
56:46 - 56:58
Exactly. And as I open the door, I hear this awful sort of ooze sound of plastic bags just starting to move towards me. So I just shut it and immediately realized that was a terrible idea.
56:58 - 57:09
I mean, there's a lot to be said for putting everything in storage, and then just coming back and they just say, we actually got rid of it all. Yeah. Fine. You're better off without it.
57:09 - 57:16
Or if maybe the walls and the ceiling of the storage facility all just close in like in Star Wars.
57:17 - 57:22
All of your stuff is just reduced to a single stock cube. And they just hand it back to you.
57:22 - 57:31
Oh, I see. And then to get all your stuff back, you just boil the kettle and you pour it in and fucking stir it around and then all your stuff. That's a great idea.
57:31 - 57:38
That's an idea now. Wow. On the way back I find out I be an outbid on a house.
57:38 - 57:40
Oh, you wanted that house too.
57:40 - 57:43
Yeah, but it's not the end of the road.
57:43 - 57:47
Oh, I see. All right. You can come in Billy Big Balls and go.
57:47 - 57:59
I know, but so now my mind is filled with you know, numbers cascading through the matrix and can we afford to put more bids in?
57:59 - 58:08
Do we try and blow them away by putting in a bid for like, would 300 million dollars secure the property?
58:08 - 58:17
So we will be discussing that for the evening. It's time for Nick Muhammad's show pony show in Dublin.
58:18 - 58:37
Really good. I'm meeting Eva, my cousin who lives in America and is back and the Helen Copter and we meet in the pub beside the venue where we order drinks and then there isn't enough time to have the drinks so I just down the pint
58:37 - 58:38
really quickly.
58:39 - 58:53
And then straight into the venue because I think it's about to start and then I realized it's not going to start for another minute and so I order people more drinks and I go to the bar but I've ordered, Helen Copter wanted a
58:53 - 59:09
ginger beer, an alcoholic ginger beer and so I say well I'll have that too because it's been an energetic day and a guy with these hips needs rehab drinks like that and I get a wine for my cousin but then
59:09 - 59:19
the bottles of ginger beer there's more than a pint in them so I'm left with kind of a third in each. They're quite large fentimans.
59:19 - 59:26
Fentanyl. Fentanyl. It's not a compliment to Nick Muhammad. You need a pint.
59:26 - 59:34
What he said afterwards, what did you like about my show? I was like oh it's pretty cozy.
59:35 - 59:43
It's a great show but I'd recommend a pint and a half of fentanyl before watching Nick's show.
59:43 - 59:46
My point is this, we're in a rush to start the gig.
59:47 - 59:57
I pour the two bottles into pint glasses that already have a lot of ice in them which leaves me approximately a third, two thirds of a bottle of fentanyls.
59:57 - 1:00:05
I don't want to waste this so I down the two of those really quickly and return to the seat.
1:00:05 - 1:00:20
Absolutely hammered. You know, kind of like early evening hammered. We watch the show. Celya is brilliant as the support. Nick Muhammad, we gotta get that guy for this podcast.
1:00:20 - 1:00:21
Yeah, good idea.
1:00:21 - 1:00:27
If you've any way of getting in touch with him. He's very busy at the moment. He can't do it.
1:00:27 - 1:00:34
He's one of my oldest friends in comedy. I'll ask him. We will get him. Have you asked him? Because then I won't ask him.
1:00:34 - 1:00:36
He's a Hollywood A-lister. He's doing great.
1:00:36 - 1:00:39
Let's wait for him to slide off the curve.
1:00:39 - 1:00:39
Exactly.
1:00:39 - 1:00:55
As soon as that happens, I'll dangle the carrot of this. They haven't eaten, so we go to, there aren't many late night food options near their hotel at 11pm. Wonderful show.
1:00:55 - 1:01:07
Nick's incredible. So Nick, Nick's son apparently has a photographic memory because he talks about that and has got him on TV to demonstrate it. But like Nick, can memorize a pack of cards.
1:01:07 - 1:01:15
Nick, you know, how exactly comedy got him? It seems like he could do anything because he plays music very beautifully as well.
1:01:15 - 1:01:16
Yeah, yeah.
1:01:16 - 1:01:23
What I like about the show is, it's a very funny bit about, he did a sort of a sketch at the BAFTAs last
1:01:23 - 1:01:35
year and he describes just how tricky it is to do something at the BAFTAs because you're told that, oh, we don't have rights to do that song on the day and then you write another thing.
1:01:35 - 1:01:47
And it seems like it's a triumph. And then on the big screen behind him, he just flashes up all of these reviews from like Metro of people going so-called comedian ruins BAFTAs.
1:01:47 - 1:01:54
Anyway, it is a beautiful show. We go for a sort of upmarket kebab then at about 11.
1:01:55 - 1:02:08
And as happens sometimes someone in the restaurant, Helen Copter, has helped them. With a visa or citizenship in the past.
1:02:09 - 1:02:21
So enormous quantities of food start being brought out. And I eat my own body weight in kind of healthy-ish late night kebab rice type stuff.
1:02:21 - 1:02:35
I must have told you this. There's only twice where I think I've been recognized in a restaurant for hosting Soccer AM. And one of them is a curry house I go to once a year in London Bridge. And I can't believe this guy still recognizes me.
1:02:35 - 1:02:38
The other was in Marylebone High Street, I think, with two friends who I used to work with at the BBC.
1:02:38 - 1:02:51
And they recognized me and they were like, we must get you a gift. And they brought out, after we'd had our body weight in posh kebabs, they brought out the biggest fruit salad you've ever seen. Like watermelon after watermelon after watermelon. It was just like
1:02:51 - 1:02:58
this is not what we needed. One beer would be great. I don't need the star fruit. What's happening here?
1:02:58 - 1:03:04
All because... Thank you, Max, for mentioning Stockport County several times on TV in 2008.
1:03:04 - 1:03:06
They were the glory years.
1:03:06 - 1:03:20
We eat all of this. It's fine because the techs arrived from next door, so they're going to polish off the rest of it. We cycle home. I do some more of my stretches and then go to bed. That's what I did yesterday. Thank you.
1:03:20 - 1:03:27
Oh, producer Will has news on David Squires. Producer Will. Was it Gaz Coombs, dad?
1:03:27 - 1:03:30
Or the drummer from Radiohead's son?
1:03:35 - 1:03:48
Breaking news. Anyway, here is Cheeseboard 2025-26.
1:03:48 - 1:04:04
Five. Four. Three. Two. One. I've got cheese! This is cheese!
1:04:04 - 1:04:35
Kath writes, Dear David, Max and Mars Bar, on the last Midweek Mayhem, Max described owning a large ice cube tray as decadent.
1:04:35 - 1:04:49
I've come here to encourage you all to treat yourselves. A few years ago, I was struggling to think of what to get my husband for Christmas. He buys everything he needs himself and already owns more vintage football shirts and Beatles books than any one man
1:04:49 - 1:04:54
could ever need. Like David, he also enjoys a Negroni with a big ice cube, so I invested in a tray for a cool £10.
1:04:54 - 1:05:08
We now use the big ice cubes in every cold drink imaginable. Water, juice and G&Ts all stay consistently cool because the cubes take forever to melt. Don't wait for the new house David. The time for big ice cubes is now.
1:05:08 - 1:05:15
I would also like to take, not eat a bullet for any What Did You Do Yesterday fans still somehow invested in the curdle.
1:05:15 - 1:05:24
If I may, I'd like to guess five cheeses that I consider sufficiently high in the hope of eliminating a few more possibilities. How do we feel about this? This is dirty play.
1:05:24 - 1:05:30
No, it's not. This is smart wordle play. This is the way to do it. Mrs.
1:05:30 - 1:05:32
Kirkham's Lancashire.
1:05:32 - 1:05:38
Oh, sorry. For a second, I thought that was the name of the person making the guess.
1:05:38 - 1:05:48
No. Baron Bigot. Also not the name of a person. Compte. Cabriolet. Yarlington.
1:05:48 - 1:05:57
Uh God. So, six months into this, we've had an absolute turkey shoot there.
1:05:57 - 1:06:04
Imagine if it gets all the way to the week before Christmas.
1:06:05 - 1:06:16
If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:06:16 - 1:06:25
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.
1:06:25 - 1:06:35
So that was the episode we recorded last week, David. And then we recorded the extra bit, which you soured.
1:06:35 - 1:06:44
Let us release as our first ever bonus. It's there. We could just put it in the feed, but not allowed.
1:06:44 - 1:06:57
You want to start with a bang. I don't know if this podcast will ever start with a bang, but it may be. Yeah, it was missing something. But we should still, you know, they're in it for life. They could take it.
1:06:57 - 1:07:00
I think they could accept it.
1:07:00 - 1:07:05
So from next week, there will, from now on, be for subscribers.
1:07:05 - 1:07:20
For freeloaders and lifers, there will be two yesterdays coming out every Wednesday. And if you want to sign up for that, Max has the name of the website.
1:07:20 - 1:07:29
Yeah, so just to be clear, if you're a freeloader, you just get what you've already always got. And we still love you. And if you're in it for life, no parole.
1:07:29 - 1:07:38
We should have just visiting hours sometimes. You go to yesterdaypod.com reportingcast.fm. Thank you, David.
1:07:38 - 1:07:39
Thanks, Max.