S4 EP23: David Baddiel

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

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Some might say too many.

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I have one already.

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I don't have any because there are enough.

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Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it.

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And they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

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Why is that? Are they scared?

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Too afraid of being censored by the man?

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Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.

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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?

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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.

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Nothing more.

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Day before yesterday, Max?

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Nope.

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The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

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Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.

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And I'm David O'Doherty.

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Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

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My name is Max Rushden. Alongside me, David O'Doherty. Hello, David. Lovely little ep coming up today, Max.

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Might be an all-timer. It might be an all-timer.

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We get to it eventually. We have just recorded listeners.

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It's the hottest day in the history of London or in the history of May in London?

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In the history of May in London, it's the hottest day. Yeah, and that is important.

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We join David Baddiel. It's a bank holiday. I mean, there's not much else that needs to be said, but it's such...

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A nice day of leisure.

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Well, I mean, it's an attempted nice day of leisure.

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Yeah.

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It's a better way of putting it. His beautiful brain utterly undermines his attempt to have a nice, relaxing day.

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David Baddiel, you will know him from one or more of the many things that he does.

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Mary Whitehouse Experience, Fantasy Football League, which I loved that TV show so much. That he did with Frank Skinner.

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He's got a podcast out, a football... I'm not really into football podcasts, but...

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It's a radio show.

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I think it's on Radio 4. And BBC Sounds.

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It's available as a podcast on BBC Sounds.

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It's called 60 Years of Hurt. And it looks at the English identity through the football team.

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We even get in an episode of that today while he's trapped in a confined space.

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That's all I'll say.

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Listen to that podcast and any other football podcast you like.

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Oh God.

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But this is what David Baddiel did yesterday. David Baddiel, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

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Hi, Max. How are you?

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Very good. And I was thinking about this. Fantasy Football League, if that hadn't have existed, then Soccer AM wouldn't exist.

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And without Soccer AM existing, I wouldn't have had the working seasons where I wouldn't have met my wife.

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Oh wow.

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And I wouldn't have moved here. And I wouldn't have started this podcast with David O'Doherty.

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So with all that in mind, I suppose I'd like to know what time you woke up yesterday morning, David.

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Yeah. Well, I've now become a kind of god in your life. Although it's a weird god, because basically what I provided for you was your career, the country you moved to,

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and a podcast with David O'Doherty. If I was the god of your life, that seems an odd third one to go for.

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I will give this man... His love, his job, and sitting around with David O'Doherty asking people what they did yesterday.

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I'm not saying it's the greatest bit of my life right now, but I do really enjoy this little oasis in my shed.

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So, Max, if they failed to collect the green bin, and it really stinks, and loads of flies come into your house, is your first thought, fucking David Baddiel?

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Yeah.

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If he hadn't done that show, I wouldn't have moved here and been in this, you know, it's never-ending.

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I never say thank God for that. I say thank David Baddiel for that, is what I would say.

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Can I just point out the green bin is the recycling bin. That's not going to stink.

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That's just got wood and paper and cardboard in it.

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Well, the green for me is garden waste, and the yellow is recycling.

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Oh, I've made such a fool of myself.

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You have already. You idiot. What an idiot.

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You know what I did yesterday? I put out the bins. I actually did do that yesterday.

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Clearly, I did it all wrong. Clearly, completely wrong. The bin men this morning, they were cursing me.

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Let's start at the beginning, David.

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Okay, can I just tell you about what I did yesterday?

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Here's one thing that went wrong. I mean, a number of things went wrong. I didn't.

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Here's some things I didn't do. Check the time of this podcast.

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Okay.

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So I thought it was in about an hour, and I was going to go to my office.

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I have an office about 10 minutes away where I have a much better audio and podcast setup, which is why I don't have a microphone or any of that.

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It's also really hot in the room that I am in my house, and that's also because all sorts of things are going on in my house, and so I had to go to this tiny room.

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I'm sweating, and the other thing I was going to do in the hour that I thought I had is think about what I did yesterday so that I would have something to say, but that's all gone.

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So we're just flying on this.

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So while Max says thank David Baddiel for everything good in his life, you're like, fuck Max Rushden because you're now trapped in a little room just yelling into a laptop.

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Yeah, I think I've given him enough in my life. Okay, how does it work?

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Tell me how it works. It's like this, very strict with the brief. And we begin at the start of the day and we go through the entire day and we finish when you go to sleep.

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And the key here, David, is we're not really interested in what you normally do of a day.

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We just want to know what happened yesterday. We can draw our own conclusions. Your job is to just give us exactly what happened yesterday.

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And I understand you haven't taken notes. I wrote nothing down. We hope your recall is strong enough.

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And it's okay, we're not Paxman. You threw it gently. It would be funny if you were.

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It's like you decided to ask me 14 times, what did you have for breakfast? Rich Nozman wouldn't tell me what I had for dinner.

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I did do it about 10 times. So let's start at the beginning. What time did you wake up?

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Okay, before we do that, can I just tell you one other thing? Yeah, of course.

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And I don't know if anyone else has raised this, but knowing I was doing this podcast gave the day a strange meta quality whereby I couldn't quite enjoy the day because I was thinking,

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is this something I'm going to bring up tomorrow? Is it worthy of it? This breakfast porridge, is that something I'm going to talk about?

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And as a result, I'm constantly questioning the value of what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

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Are you suggesting that this podcast, what it does to a guest, is it ruins one day of their life?

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Well, you know, there's a sort of modern thing about live in the moment. Live in the moment, just experience it.

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Zen, blah, blah. This is the opposite of that because you're constantly within a wall and all you see is Max Rushden and David O'Doherty asking you questions.

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It stops you just enjoying life. So, yes, I'm glad it's not what you did all year because that would really screw me up.

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It's basically that quantum physics thing where in observing the act, you are changing the act.

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That's correct. We're going to bring your day down to a molecular, even an atomic level.

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Okay, well, now you've mentioned quantum physics. I love quantum physics. I read about it all the time without understanding it.

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I wrote a play which is about religion and quantum physics and that's also worth bringing up with this podcast because, of course, in the block universe, yesterday doesn't really exist.

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Time doesn't really exist. Oh, we're fucked. The whole concept is fucked because it's only yesterday is now and tomorrow and forever.

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But anyway, I got up. What time? So I sleep really badly and I'm presently on a really weird cocktail of I normally take just supplements to sleep, but the doctors have now given me a new sleeping pill which is called Dari Dorexant, and I mention it because

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Hang on. He played 200 times for late in Orient. Exactly. I mention it because this is a bit of a name drop, but Michaela Cole is a friend of mine and also has problems sleeping.

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I told her about it and she says, that's just a bloke, isn't it? Because she thought I'd said Gary Borexant.

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I said, no, it's a pill called Dari Dorexant. It does sound like a cockney bloke.

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He comes over and gently hand jobs you to sleep every night. Do you remember?

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Sorry, this is a bit of a sidebar, but in Bullseye, are you young enough, either of you, to remember Bullseye, the television darts program?

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Of course. Okay, so in Bullseye, and we actually did this on Newman and Baddiel in pieces, the show that I did after Mary Whitehouse experience.

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I always thought as an insomniac, that's one person I would like to help me to get to sleep is Tony.

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Now, Tony was a bloke who used to stand by the dartboard and reassure men, mainly men, that it was like, they should relax.

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It's all fine. Don't worry about it. And we actually got, we got him to stand by my bedside in Newman and Baddiel in pieces.

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But he wasn't there last night or the night before last. So as a result, I woke up quite groggily round about, well, my wife gets up early and she is a screenwriter and constantly working these days.

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Like it was a bank holiday yesterday, which by the way, is another issue. What did you do yesterday?

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It was a fucking bank holiday. So therefore I mainly did nothing as you're meant to on a bank holiday.

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But anyway, I got, I got up and yeah, it took me quite a long time to feel that I was compasmentous because I had all these sleeping pill stuff in my system, but then had breakfast.

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So let's, should we start with that? What time? I reckon it was about by the time I actually came down with the sleeping pills and putting my head in water to try and wake up.

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And, and also it was really hot. Oh, so I tell you what I did.

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I've forgotten that something I did is I went outside to the balcony in my pants.

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So I have a balcony and it's got a lovely view outside the balcony. And it's a nice day.

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So I thought I'll go outside, but I was in my pants. And then I noticed that the balcony next door was opening their windows and someone was going to step out.

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And then I didn't know what the etiquette was because it is my balcony. I think I'm allowed to be on it on my pants, but then if someone comes out and it's a woman and they look over, you know,

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is it a sex crime? That's what I'm saying. We're being there in my pants.

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I don't think you can be canceled for being out in your underwear on your own balcony.

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Well, there must be some sort of screen. I'm thinking, you know, you must be doing reasonably well.

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There's a wall, but it's a wall that goes up to, I would say my belly button.

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So, so she could think you were totally naked. She wouldn't know. I think I was totally naked.

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Exactly. That would be a problem. I think, because I haven't really spoken to these neighbors.

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What we need the listeners to know is that this podcast, because this will live forever.

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And, you know, in the future, maybe when there's a Voyager type spacecraft goes out into the galaxy, this will be put on it as the, one example of what humans could create.

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The listener does need to know that it was possibly the warmest day of the year so far.

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So I feel going out in your pants is very weather dependent as in, if it's a snowy day and you're standing there in your pants, it's, it takes on a creepier.

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Unless I'm like Wim Hof.

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Yeah.

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He is quite creepy, but unless I'm like, that's a sort of medical.

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Okay.

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Whereby I love the cold, but I don't. So you're right. It, it would be creepy.

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And then also the other thing is the exact, not the, we'll ask you about it, but the location of the balcony is important.

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As in, if it's St. Peter's square in the Vatican city, you come out in your pants, there's thousands of Catholics filling the square.

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You know what I mean? And it's the Pope that comes out on the one beside you while you're groggily standing there staring at them.

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That would be absolutely brilliant. If the Pope came out in his pants one day on the balcony, like Sunday, like, however many millions of people are there.

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And he just thought, well, you know, what's wrong with this? I'm the Pope. I'm infallible.

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Yeah. With a coffee in the Sunday mirror. Yeah. I mean, an important question now, and I wasn't planning to ask this, but what are the pants?

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Well, yeah, they're not skimpy. That's I think one thing in my favor. They be bellowy affair.

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Are they? Do you say bellowy? I said bellowy. Yeah. Bellowy. Bellowy. They're chewed bellowy pants.

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I believe they're called briefs and they're sort of, I can never wear boxer shorts.

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I don't know how much your listeners want to get into the nitty gritty here, but I've always found.

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Yes, absolutely do. Well, I've always found boxer shorts to be a little bit too swingy in the bollock area.

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And just as I was aware of doing, what did you do yesterday in a sort of slightly overthinking way I find with boxer shorts, I'm over aware of my testicles the whole day.

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Whereas if they're held by the brief, then I'm okay. Essentially they look like cycling shorts, I guess.

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Wow. Hockey short. I would call that, I think. Okay. What color are you wearing for the neighbors?

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Dark blue. Dark blue. Okay. But I think David's point is correct. My uncertainty was, imagine I'm out there and just to say, I'm, I overlook a very lovely park in London.

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That sounds like a creepy again, because it sounds like I've deliberately gone out where there are millions of people, any people in the park are a long way away, but I can see the trees and lakes and it's lovely.

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But what happened as I was out there looking at the trees and the lakes and the people in the distance, in my pants is I noticed the doors opening on the balcony next door.

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Yes. And I thought she's going to come out, the woman who lives next door.

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And Dave is absolutely right. I don't know if it's in my mind, but she won't know that I'm not naked.

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That'll be bad. So I went back in again. An awful first line for this neighbor that you've never met before is just so you know, I'm wearing pants and then just to go back in again,

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that whole relationship is ruined. I actually did see her come out. And she was naked.

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She was absolutely, she's a more sensible person was wearing just a kind of nice white.

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I think it was bedclothes, but it was, she was clearly not naked. And I just thought I've got a few seconds before she turns around.

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I'm just going to go back inside. It's too complicated. The whole situation is otherwise to explain.

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Can I ask a question about dunking your head in water, David? Did you fill the sink and just go head down trough or just splash it?

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What was your tactic? Flannel. When I say dunking my head in water, that's a lie.

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It's not a big, a lie. I don't think I can be convicted for it.

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I basically wet a flannel with cold water. I sometimes think about doing it with hot water so that I can feel like I'm in first class on a plane.

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That's supposed to be a luxurious thing. A very hot flannel. I don't know what it is.

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Also, you'd have had to have a glass of champagne and it's early. So I just went for a cold flannel.

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I do this most mornings and I put it on my face. It makes me feel a bit woken up.

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I also tend to have, this is quite horrible, but quite a lot of sleep.

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I've quite a lot of sleep in my eyes in the morning. So I spend quite a lot of time getting rid of that.

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That can take up to seven or eight hours. With a shovel. You take the shovel out of the bathroom cabinet.

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Yeah. I ask the woman next door to do it sometimes. I'm basically sorting myself out from sleep for quite a long time.

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And that's, it's mainly flannel based. I have, I have about nine flannels. Wow. Okay.

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That's good. Because basically once I've done one, I think, oh no, there's still sleep.

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I've got to do another flannel. I'm quite flannel heavy. How many flannels would you go through for your...

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Mainly one. Yesterday it was one. Sometimes it's two. Okay. Thank you. I have done a thing, okay, of doing a cold flannel followed by a hot flannel.

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Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Then I feel like, oh God, I'm right at the cutting edge of wellness there.

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You could do a great Instagram reel. This is the life hack, cold flannel, hot flannel.

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Exactly.

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So we're now at breakfast. Enlighten us, David.

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I have a question here. Because of the Donnie Darko, that you took to get to sleep or whatever it was called.

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Derry Dorickson.

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Does that now affect your appetite first thing in the morning?

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It doesn't.

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It affects my sort of just general grogginess. And one of the things I probably am thinking is I must have something to eat so that I can help myself snap out of it.

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As you may or may not know, is that I am an enormous fan of unhealthy big English breakfast.

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Yeah, I do know that.

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For a while, when I was on tour, I was endlessly posting the pictures of the full English breakfast.

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That I was having. And that, as David will know from touring in Britain, that's partly to do with, if you tour in Britain, that's what you get when you come down at the Marriott.

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Yeah.

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It's there in various trays. And you're a much better man than I if you can resist it, basically.

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So every day, I'm bloody having this incredibly unhealthy breakfast. And I thought I should chart it as a kind of chronicle of my physical decline.

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But then what happened was, on the internet, the full English breakfast police started getting very angry and saying, the sausages are touching the eggs and the eggs are touching the beans.

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And, oh my God, what sort of mushroom is that? It became impossible. I mean, not because of that.

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It's mainly health, but also just generally, I was warned off it. So even though that's the breakfast I want, that's the point.

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Every time I come down, I think I really want eggs and sausages and beans.

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I don't have it. That is one of the very rare things I've done in my life against my desires.

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I normally just do exactly what my body says. You want this? Just have it, David.

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But with full English breakfasts, I don't. I do sometimes, but yesterday. Also, you exposing yourself to your neighbors.

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You do control yourself with that. That's one of the other things that your body is telling you to do.

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I didn't want to expose myself to my neighbors. And I just made that very clear.

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It wasn't a desire that I had to control. It was just a mix-up. So yesterday, I mean, I've had bacon.

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I had a bacon sandwich the day before. But anyway, I had porridge with some fruit puree that my daughter had made.

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It's high performance stuff, this, Max. You know, because we've had cold, flannel, hot flannel.

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Yeah. You know what I mean? We've had greet the sun with a breath of fire on the balcony.

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And now we're having just salt, water, and oats. Well, and fruit puree. Fruit puree, yeah.

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And I think I put some ground almonds in it as well. How would you rank the fruit puree of Baddiel Jr.?

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Very nice. Dolly is my daughter. She's 24. And she really is kind of queen of the fridge, I would say.

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Right. It's like there are notes on the fridge that say things like dal with cabbage.

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Wow. That means she's made a dal with cabbage. And anyone can have it, but the note is there to make it clear that Dolly made it and, you know, that's where it is.

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And I think there has been a note that says fruit puree on the little Tupperware of that.

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And, yeah, it was very, very nice. It still didn't get me over the fact that my soul was crying out for eggs and beans and sausages and bacon.

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And it will always do that. I live with that. It's a curse. But is growing older, and I'm not for a moment suggesting any of us are old, not just the act of resisting these urges a lot of the time.

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You know, particularly when I had very fun 20s and 30s, like if I go and do a comedy festival, even one like Edinburgh, which I have done since I was a child,

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I can't just live the same life that I lived and end up at a student party at 4.30 a.m.

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with three cans of grulch in a bag, you know? That's completely true. I would say the hardest thing, I'd say food has always been the hardest thing for me because I like food more than I like drink and drugs and almost anything else.

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And I also, because you have to, you don't have to have grulch, right? You don't have to go out all night.

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That's not their tagline. Their advertising tagline is. Also, David went, hmm, in a very uncertain way.

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He wasn't. Are you sure of the science of what I said there? Are you sure?

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Maybe you do need grulch to survive. But my point is you definitely need food.

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You don't need alcohol. But food can so quickly spiral. Yeah. You just think I'm going to have some food and then next thing you know, you've eaten an enormous amount of cake and biscuits and bacon for breakfast, all of those things.

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And then you're fat and also can't think straight because you've eaten so much. And that is a problem for me.

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So I generally try not to do that. Okay, so we've had our porridge and our fruit puree.

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Yeah. Are we approaching, what, nine o'clock? Are we eight o'clock, nine o'clock? No, I think it's probably about ten by now.

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Ten o'clock, okay. Hey, it's a bank holiday, right? You don't have to justify it, David.

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It's your life. You can live it as you want to live it. I'm going to say something else, which again, both of you will probably know.

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For me, one of the key reasons for doing the comedian, for being a comedian, for doing a job, well, I could be a writer and a comedian, was so that I could...

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I could get up late. That was sort of one of the key things because A, I was an insomniac from when I was a kid.

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Insomniac from when I was six. Wow. I gradually thought, how can I have a job where I don't have to get up?

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Yeah. And this is over a long period of time. It's not when I was six.

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How can I have a job where I don't have to get up really in the morning because I won't have slept properly at night?

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And then I realized, okay, I'll do comedy, which is nuts at some level because then what happens is you go to bed later and later and later.

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Sleeping after a gig is really hard or whatever. But you can get up if you want at 1 p.m.

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Now, I don't... I don't do that anymore. But I did do that for a very long time.

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My body clock was probably completely set wrong. It might have been set right for Australia, Max, if I lived in Britain.

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You see what I mean? Yeah, of course. I still get up quite late is my point.

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What I've managed to do is turn quite prime time radio shows into overnight shows by moving here.

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It's been really successful for taking shows that are on at really good times of the day and ruining them and ruining your social life.

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What time is your show on? Hawksby and Jacobs, who you know very well, I do their Wednesday.

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I sit in for them on a Wednesday. So that's midnight till three sometimes. It's ten till one now.

22:00 - 22:06

It's lunchtime in London or it's afternoon in London. Why are you in Australia? Great question.

22:06 - 22:12

I married an Australian, David, and then she lived in London for 10 years and then she was like, should we go there?

22:12 - 22:20

And I got the job hosting the Champions League for Australian TV. Then I didn't get that contract renewed so I had to start this podcast with David O'Doherty to pay for the shed.

22:20 - 22:24

Oh, you've got a shed. You're not coming back if you've got a shed. That's it.

22:24 - 22:28

You put wood down. Yeah, you're right. It's actually on a concrete slab. It's that permanent.

22:28 - 22:33

When you ask that question and he does that speech, it's the saddest origin story.

22:33 - 22:48

You know, every other podcast has, we were always impassionate about food so we wanted to ask people about their dream meals but this one involves the Champions League and a contract not being renewed and now we're asking you about your fucking porridge.

22:48 - 22:54

And the shed. Don't forget, it also involves a shed. Yes, the shed. So that's the glamorous part of it.

22:55 - 23:05

Right, it's 10 o'clock, you're fed. It's a bank holiday. Darius Kabuchi has worn off and you are now ready for the day.

23:05 - 23:13

Yeah, so I don't remember most of what happened now. I've thought about it. I think I basically just sat in the garden.

23:13 - 23:17

I've got a nice garden and I went and sat at the bottom of it.

23:17 - 23:23

I've got a hammock there. Right. So perhaps I should talk about that. I can tell you another thing.

23:23 - 23:31

I don't want to make this whole thing about mortality and getting old. But one thing that is harder and harder to do as you get old is getting in and out of a hammock.

23:31 - 23:38

Oh my God. I mean, it's so difficult. I'm only here really by the skin of my teeth.

23:38 - 23:42

Honestly, there was a point in time where I thought, well, should I just stay and sleep in the hammock?

23:42 - 23:47

It is after all the time from bed. It was very difficult. So just to be clear, you've eaten the porridge.

23:47 - 23:53

Nothing has happened between that and you walking to the end of the garden to attempt your first attempt.

23:53 - 23:57

It's like the high jump. Your first attempt at... the hammock entry. There's nothing else.

23:57 - 24:01

I might have answered a few emails, but I think we can gloss over that.

24:01 - 24:05

I can't remember the big of any interest whatsoever. Look, it's a very hot day.

24:05 - 24:11

It's the hottest day of the year. It is, in fact, the hottest day in May ever in Britain due to climate change.

24:11 - 24:18

And I am dealing with that and the terrible apocalyptic anxiety it creates by going to sit in a hammock.

24:18 - 24:24

Well, I say sit. I'm going to roll vaguely into a hammock. But I would say...

24:24 - 24:29

I would say it takes me almost as long to get in and out of the hammock as I am in the hammock.

24:29 - 24:34

So David spends a lot of time and has really deconstructed getting into a bath on this podcast.

24:34 - 24:41

So I would like you to do the same. You're facing the hammock. Talk us through how you enter the hammock.

24:41 - 24:48

What's your approach? Can I just say, if we're going to talk about getting into a bath, later in the day, and I don't want to cut forward too much, I get into...

24:48 - 24:54

I have a barrel of water in my garden. I bought that barrel. It's essentially a dustpan.

24:55 - 25:00

Painted on the outside to look like a sort of barrel of oak and beer and whatever.

25:00 - 25:06

And I use that as a kind of cold tub because I have a sauna in my house.

25:06 - 25:11

But yesterday, I did go in the barrel. We'll get to the barrel. Okay, this is exciting.

25:11 - 25:16

That's really difficult to get in and out of. Okay. Let's just stop the podcast.

25:16 - 25:20

Max, how are you imagining you get into a hammock? Have you ever gotten into a hammock?

25:20 - 25:28

I've slept in my favorite hammock. My favorite hammock. That's a podcast. Come on. Let's do that.

25:28 - 25:35

Who's hosting my favorite hammock? I'm interested that you have a favorite hammock, Max. I mean, I like the hammock.

25:35 - 25:38

I've got the garden. But if another hammock appeared down there, I'd be fine with it.

25:38 - 25:50

You have to be loyal to your hammock. I slept. I once traveled to the northern tip of South America, which is a place called Cabo de la Vela and Punta Galinas in Colombia.

25:50 - 26:03

And there, you sleep in a hammock under the stars. That's my favorite hammock. And my entry would be, and I was a younger man, but my entry would be very much the hammock is behind me and I would put my hands either side

26:03 - 26:06

and just hitch up, land on my bottom, much like you'd sit on a swing.

26:06 - 26:10

Because if you think about it, it's like a big swing. And then I'd just, I'd swivel and lie down.

26:10 - 26:16

So that's the problem. As I may have said earlier, I eat a lot. I'm not massively overweight, but I'm definitely overweight.

26:16 - 26:22

And this hammock is a double hammock. No one wants to get in it with me, but it is a double hammock.

26:22 - 26:27

As I get in it, next thing you know, I'm sitting on the ground in the hammock.

26:27 - 26:36

You sit like a swing. It's not for me. It's essentially just me sitting on the ground with a bit of material under me.

26:36 - 26:43

It's become a rug. Exactly. It's my favourite rug. That's the point at which... That's a different podcast, let's be clear.

26:43 - 26:48

Sort of moving my feet, swinging my feet over so that I'm in the hammock.

26:48 - 26:53

The hammock has to come up at the same time. Otherwise you are just lying on a prayer mat on the floor.

26:54 - 27:00

That's quite hard because the hammock starts to sort of roll as you're doing that and it can tip you out on the other side.

27:00 - 27:05

And it has done in the past. It didn't yesterday. That's why it's taken me a long time.

27:05 - 27:12

Because I can't just sit on the ground for a bit and then be chucked out the other side which is not a great leisure activity.

27:12 - 27:16

It's not up there with your North American experience. It's like a cash point rejecting your card.

27:16 - 27:23

The hammock just feels David Baddiel and goes, no thank you. I was recently... What's your favourite hammock?

27:23 - 27:33

Please don't cut across one of my great hammock anecdotes. My hammock-totes. I was in Portsmouth with nothing to do in the day.

27:33 - 27:40

So went to, is it called HMS Victory? I think it was one of Nelson's flagships but still moored there.

27:40 - 28:00

And what you got to see was the great class difference on the ship. Whereas Nelson had basically Georgian sitting rooms where people would bring him, you know, fondant fancies. And then the ordinary sailors on the gun deck had a cannon directly beneath them and a hammock

28:00 - 28:19

over the cannon. So there must have been a lot more of an appreciation of hammock sleeping because presumably they were at sea for a long time and I was curious as to how they would have got into their hammocks because the hammock is above the gun. It's interesting

28:19 - 28:31

that because I think my hammock has an element of gun to it in the way that it throws me out of its earth. Maybe it's paying homage in a very kind of old man way.

28:31 - 28:45

You know, a sort of dribbling I don't know if this is the sort of thing you would have but I did a bit of material about how once orgasm changes as one gets older after a while it becomes like Santa climbing out of a very old

28:45 - 28:51

Santa climbing back out of a chimney. And that's sort of how my hammock would throw me out.

28:51 - 28:58

Not like the cannon on HMS Victory. I just sort of, fall out of it in a slightly sad way.

28:58 - 29:11

It was the day that I learned the brass monkeys, that saying for cold weather, "freeze the balls off a brass monkey" refers to the cannonballs were stored on these

29:11 - 29:23

brass things that held cannonballs and in cold weather the brass contracts or the cannonball contracts such that the balls would roll off down the deck.

29:23 - 29:24

I didn't know that.

29:24 - 29:29

I associated that with hammocks as well. How were your balls?

29:29 - 29:45

Bring it back to yesterday. I hate to diminish your endeavours for trying to get into a double hammock at the end of your garden compared to trying to get into a tiny hammock in a storm in the mid-Atlantic above a cannon. Do you successfully manage

29:45 - 29:47

to get into the hammock?

29:47 - 29:53

Yes, I am in the hammock. Then there's quite a long period where I'm sort of thinking, why am I in the hammock?

29:53 - 30:04

Because it's quite tough to do anything in a hammock. I brought my laptop with me under the pretext that I was going to do some work but it's really hard to rest it even on my expanded stomach.

30:04 - 30:12

So then, the hammock that I have, which by the way is covered in leaves because it just gets covered in leaves and I can't be bothered to clean it.

30:12 - 30:17

So you have to imagine me in a sort of, it's quite beautiful in a way, a sort of bed of leaves in the hammock.

30:17 - 30:35

It's a biblical idea. Behind me, there are two tiny, tiny, very shit matching pillows. The hammock is a rainbow colour and these matching pillows are rainbow colour and I basically have to adjust them to support my neck so that I can look at the

30:35 - 30:47

laptop. The point I'm making is it's such a, in a Jewish word, a megillah, meaning business, like thing that takes too long. It's such a megillah to get in the hammock and get set up. You just think,

30:47 - 30:52

well, I'm going to get out the hammock now, that's going to take another half an hour and the whole thing has been a waste of time for five minutes.

30:53 - 31:06

of relaxation. This is why your hammock appearance with the laptop work from home hammock on Dragon's Den is regarded as one of the most embarrassing pieces of television where it took you six minutes to get into it and

31:06 - 31:12

then the laptop just shot out the other side. Yeah, and they all said they were out while I was trying to get in the hammock.

31:12 - 31:26

I'm worried because we're half an hour in, we're not going to get through the day and we've got my barrel to come. Don't worry, don't worry, we'll get there. The Ross Noble episode was five hours long, David, I don't know if you're

31:26 - 31:30

in a hurry. We'll whip through this in half an hour, don't you worry about that.

31:30 - 31:38

We check our emails eventually in the hammock, the porridge goes down, this sounds like a lovely day.

31:38 - 31:50

Yeah, it's fine, I got in the hammock, it didn't throw me out, I was there for a little while, probably about 45 minutes to an hour. I think my wife came down to the bottom of the garden for a brief period, which

31:50 - 32:00

is nice because she doesn't do that often. I think she doesn't like to see me in the hammock. I think she thinks this demonstrates who I've married in not a good way.

32:00 - 32:06

Do you think it's not a complimentary look for you? Once you're ensconced in the hammock it's not showing your best side.

32:06 - 32:14

I think for a man of my age and girth, there are certain situations that don't suit you and most of them are life.

32:14 - 32:22

I would say 100% of them are life. But worse, particularly within life, yeah, the hammock doesn't show me off to my best advantage.

32:22 - 32:32

I do have a photograph of me in a hammock when I was a teenager and I looked much better then although it's the 80s and I have the biggest hair anyone's ever had.

32:32 - 32:38

I may be being held up by material and hairspray in that picture. I still look better than I do now.

32:38 - 32:44

And we don't like to get too deep on this podcast but maybe you're just trying to recap every time you're going to the hammock.

32:44 - 32:52

You're trying to recapture that moment and your lost youth. I think that's true. I think actually I associate hammocks in a slightly weird way.

32:52 - 33:00

we're like, there, yes, this is the ultimate kind of bohemian luxury item. But then they're not because they're just an incredible effort.

33:00 - 33:11

Chew them away from the hammock. I feel we've done it. We've done the fucking hammock. We've come to hammocks in more detail than in all previous episodes combined. I wouldn't be surprised if hammocks come back in.

33:11 - 33:20

David's whole life is hammocks the two of them. I think it took me longer to get out the hammock than to get in the hammock.

33:20 - 33:22

That thing where you're on the floor again.

33:22 - 33:22

Yeah.

33:22 - 33:25

And your arse is actually touching the ground.

33:25 - 33:25

Yeah.

33:25 - 33:31

You're touching the grass. You know what people go on about on the internet sometimes. They say go and touch some grass.

33:31 - 33:45

When people have been on their computers for too long that's a sort of meme. So go out and touch I was touching grass with my bottom through the cloth of the hammock twice because basically you have to imagine I'm really sitting with my knees up and my

33:45 - 33:54

arse down and material on either side of me. And at that point it feels quite hard to move right. It sort of feels like you're in a conceptual art piece.

33:54 - 34:01

And you have to ring up to the house or even worse you don't have your phones you have to email your wife up at the house.

34:01 - 34:07

What you have to imagine is it's like my arse has cloth wings at that point.

34:07 - 34:17

It feels to me like you're either on a rug or in a sack and at no point are you actually in a hammock right. Like you've never successfully been lying horizontal.

34:17 - 34:29

No I have. You are airborne at some point. Yeah I am airborne. I'm just saying that getting in and out especially getting out there was a point where I just felt like you know I just can't move. But then I did. I got up. Now that's again

34:29 - 34:41

can't quite remember what happened at this point. I think probably I had lunch. I mean I've missed out a bit but I think I had lunch which I can tell you what it was. Please.

34:41 - 34:59

It was two types of pickled herring. Yeah. I know it's a bit stereotypical but I like a pickled herring and my daughter had made and labelled I think some potato salad and I spent a long time thinking about shall I have the pickled herring with

34:59 - 35:11

some brown sort of rye bread which is the classical with potato salad. When I've been in Sweden, I've been in Sweden quite a lot, they have herring with potato salad there. That's a thing.

35:11 - 35:25

And I thought I could pretend I'm in Sweden if I have this. So I had one type of herring that is herring in sort of wine and one type of herring that's just herring with dill and potato salad. A couple of things. I mean, if you

35:25 - 35:31

really wanted to pretend you're in Sweden, you would take the herring to the sauna. I mean, that would be the ultimate. Oh, yes.

35:31 - 35:45

That's well spotted, except I actually did an, I wrote an article for the Sunday Times about saunas in, well, this was in Finland. I was in Helsinki, but in Scandinavia. And I went to many, many different types of sauna and none of them had food in the sauna.

35:45 - 35:55

Okay, it's a good point. I hadn't thought that. But it would be an interesting idea, Max. Could you take raw food into the sauna and gradually slow cook it?

35:55 - 36:04

But would you take your veg to a steam room? Because that's sort of a more sensible way to... Oh, yeah. Well, maybe in the spa, you visit different rooms.

36:04 - 36:15

Broccoli in the steam room. Your fish or your steak in your very high, you know, smoke sauna. And then you broil a whole chicken in the jacuzzi. Yeah, exactly.

36:15 - 36:29

And then you don't have to actually use a stove at any point. It's a way of combining wellness and anti-wellness in one go. Do you think it takes away from the jacuzzi experience if someone is poaching a whole chicken in the jacuzzi

36:29 - 36:33

next to you? Would they have it in a little net or would it just flow through?

36:33 - 36:49

I mean, it sounds quite nice to me now you say it, but that might be because you've used the phrase whole chicken and that's enough for me. I don't really have to think about where it's come from. Do I sense a tension here where your daughter looks

36:49 - 37:07

out the window, sees you floundering like C-3PO when the Ewoks catch him in the net, in the hammock, and then makes healthy meals, puts them in the fridge with labels on them, and you come in and instead deep fry a Mars bar and have it with

37:07 - 37:17

some pickled herring. I didn't deep fry a Mars bar. Although that's another thing. You've actually landed on another thing, which is I can't have a meal.

37:17 - 37:22

Breakfast I can, but the other two meals I have to have some dessert after I've had them.

37:22 - 37:35

Every fucking meal, there's a point where I think, well, I've had a meal. I don't need to have something sweet after as, oh no, I'm now having something sweet. And I will root about for anything. I mean,

37:35 - 37:51

sometimes my daughter has made some quite healthy vegan ice cream. I'll have that, but I'll generally add chocolate to it. Sometimes I'm literally rooting about in bags and boxes in my house for Haribo's from 2000 and 2007.

37:51 - 38:00

I feel the same. They don't go off. They're absolutely fine. Haribos are like when they find Egyptian honey and you can still eat it.

38:00 - 38:13

If you find a loose Haribo, David, would you eat it? Yes. Personally, I don't even think I would consider it to be food. I would think, oh, that's something that fell off a bicycle,

38:13 - 38:20

you know, part of a break or something like that. It would need to be very identifiable as a Haribo for me to then eat it. Well, they're always identifiable.

38:20 - 38:28

Identifiable, surely, because they're green and red, unlike parts of a bicycle. And I think like a cockroach, they can survive a nuclear war.

38:28 - 38:40

I don't think they're not going to disfigure. Unlike you two, I live in the EU where they've bloody taken the Haribo away from us and they just have these lettuce dumplings in bags and that's all we can have.

38:40 - 38:46

Oh, for the old days. It is true that they're like Egyptian honey, only certainly in terms of the fact that I will eat them.

38:46 - 38:53

But they do get stale and harder and chewier to eat if they're past about 15 years old.

38:53 - 39:04

But if you keep going, it's like the door opens. The taste door opens. And about an hour later, because they're obviously hard to eat so you have to keep going,

39:04 - 39:11

their true Haribo spirit will emerge. You're like a Haribo sommelier. This is an A-OK star mix from 1994.

39:11 - 39:25

People knew Baddiel for his writing and performing, but then his Nobel Prize came late in life for his work on A to Haribos and how to eat them. I am very obsessed with them. I wrote a novel, in fact,

39:25 - 39:34

in one of my novels, which is my big attempt to write an American kind of literary novel called The Death of Eli Gold, which came out in 2010, I think.

39:34 - 39:52

There's a seven-page disquisition eulogy about sour sweets. I am obsessed with sour sweets. I'm never happier, really, than when I get a sort of very, very sour sweet in my mouth. So we have lunched, and

39:52 - 40:04

because it was quite close to breakfast, I imagine you're really prepped now for a bank holiday afternoon of intense achievement. So what happens next?

40:04 - 40:13

Well, there was something I needed to say, though, which was it's not that long after breakfast, you said. Now, that is an issue for me, especially on a day like yesterday, where I didn't have to get up early, didn't have breakfast.

40:13 - 40:20

If I have breakfast fairly late, at maybe half nine, ten o'clock, I get to lunchtime, and I'm not that hungry.

40:20 - 40:25

But I will still have quite a big lunch. Well, of course, it's lunchtime. I'm with you. Exactly. I agree with you.

40:25 - 40:32

In a way, I don't understand how a Zenpick works. Because the idea that you're full has never stopped me eating.

40:32 - 40:40

I agree with you. Once it's after midday, I'm like, it must be lunchtime. That's what depresses me about the idea of a Zenpick, which I have thought about, which is that, oh, what, so

40:40 - 40:54

it'll get to mealtime, and I won't really be bothered to eat. What's the point in life if you get to mealtimes, and you're not bothered to eat? That's what I look forward to. I totally agree that the day is completely punctuated by what's for breakfast. And like me

40:54 - 40:58

and Jamie are like, well, if you have eggs for breakfast, then eggs are off the table for lunch. It's all, it's a planning.

40:58 - 41:10

You're always constantly thinking ahead. Well, if I go porridge for breakfast, that means eggs are on the table for lunch. And then you're really a total open book for dinner. You can have anything. I think porridge and then eggs for lunch is a bit too breakfast-y.

41:10 - 41:18

Do you think so? And then I have hash browns for dinner, Cheerios for dinner, and I'm done. It sounds to me like you can't get past breakfast in your life.

41:18 - 41:34

I do like breakfast. It has to be said. Okay, what's happening, David? I think we should move on to what became a central issue of the day, which is so I do have a sauna in a shed in the garden, and I recently bought, because I

41:34 - 41:43

thought, right, I need something to dunk myself in when I'm out of the sauna, a barrel. Now, what you're supposed to get if you have one of these things is a lovely designed, I don't know,

41:43 - 41:56

ice bath thing, but I couldn't be bothered, and they're very expensive. So instead, I bought, it's quite hard to describe but it's meant to look like, and it does look like from a distance, a sort of barrel that you might see in Shrek.

41:56 - 41:58

Like, Shrek's about to go to an ale house,

41:58 - 41:59

Got it.

41:59 - 42:07

and him and Donkey see the ale house in the distance, and outside it there are these lovely big wooden barrels that contain mead.

42:07 - 42:09

I'd Friar tuck in my mind.

42:09 - 42:11

I'm going, you're a stowaway on a ship.

42:11 - 42:12

Yes.

42:12 - 42:16

You're one of the Marx brothers, and they bring on the four barrels.

42:16 - 42:17

Yes.

42:17 - 42:22

The line is, how did you know there were four of them, because they were singing Barbershop.

42:22 - 42:24

It's those kind of barrels.

42:24 - 42:29

When you bought it, did it say, from a distance, looks like a barrel?

42:29 - 42:33

Well, I'll tell you what it doesn't look like. Inside, it doesn't look like a barrel.

42:33 - 42:47

It looks like a dustbin. That's the thing that's slightly depressing about it, because when you're inside, it doesn't have lovely wood on the inside, getting wet in a sort of lovely way, but sort of resisting the... No, it's basically whatever dustbin plastic

42:47 - 42:53

is. What is it? I mean, I don't know what it is. Polyurethane, I'm going to say. It's that.

42:53 - 43:05

The official term is dustbin. That is the scientific term. It's dustbin plastic. It's black dustbin plastic on the inside, right? World gas production would be very different if it was measured in dustbins. You know what I mean?

43:05 - 43:13

Like, the Straits of Hormuz are shut, and therefore 1.5 million dustbins of oil aren't being moved today.

43:13 - 43:27

So, since I got the dustbin barrel, I've hardly used it, because A, it's quite hard to fill, right? You have to get a hose, you have to attach the hose, you have to let it, obviously, the tap go for quite a long time to fill it up.

43:27 - 43:35

When I did it before, I obviously then couldn't be bothered to, like, do it again for ages, so the water became stagnant. And my wife said, please don't go in that, you'll get sepsis.

43:35 - 43:52

Can I suggest, David, can I suggest no one listening is surprised that your from-a-distance oak barrel actual dustbin has been rarely used. I'm going to say this, no one is surprised by this news. Hang on, I have a question here. Because this day so far,

43:52 - 44:06

and I say this with love, has been one of the most half-assed attempts at high-performance wellness I've ever known in my life. Did you buy this fake barrel with the intention of, I'll fill it with ice every morning?

44:06 - 44:20

And dunk myself into creativity? Absolutely. That is what I thought. I thought I will fill it with ice, and ice and water, it will be cold flannel, hot flannel, it will be an amazing way of waking myself up. It is a step up from hot flannel,

44:20 - 44:31

cold flannel, isn't it? You'll see it isn't, because I haven't even begun how rubbish it is. So I did fill it with water, I think on Saturday, and did use it yesterday,

44:31 - 44:40

but here's the problem. It's really hard to get in, because you have to imagine it, it's slightly too high, right? Not to sit in, but too high to get in.

44:40 - 44:45

It's like this whole podcast about me trying to get in things that I can't have feeling.

44:45 - 44:58

Anyway, this is how I get in it now. There's a small step that comes with the dustbin barrel that is part of the dustbin barrel, also designed in the same way. It's a small step that I've got next to it.

44:58 - 45:10

Then I've got a stool that is not part of it, doesn't come with it, but a small kitchen stool that I put inside the barrel, inside the water, so that when I get in the barrel, I can put my foot on that. Otherwise, I'm terrified

45:10 - 45:16

that the whole thing's going to come crashing down. I'm going to die and be covered in rank water.

45:16 - 45:26

I put that in, the stool, and then I stand on the step and I get in the barrel. Yesterday, I did that. I thought, this will be fine. I can do it. The step was so

45:26 - 45:34

fucking hot that I started screaming and hopping and found it really difficult to get in the barrel while I was screaming and hopping.

45:34 - 45:44

But then I did. I managed to get in it. Then what I do, originally, I thought, well, I'll sit on the stool, but then it's not enough. You can't really get in the water. So now

45:44 - 45:53

what I do is, I have to, behind me, listeners, you have to imagine that I'm putting my arm behind me, get the stool out, put the stool on the hot step,

45:53 - 45:54

then you can relax.

45:54 - 46:04

But hang on, you are now, you know that you can catch a mouse by, if you just put a sort of a piece of wood, a ramp going up into a laundry basket and a piece of

46:04 - 46:14

peanut butter in the bottom of the laundry basket, the mouse will just go up the ramp, see inside, jump in to eat it, and is now 100% trapped in the flat-walled laundry basket.

46:14 - 46:19

You have effectively lobstered yourself into this pot. Are you 100% trapped?

46:19 - 46:28

That's correct. I am trapped. By the way, I would have said cheese, not peanut butter. And by the way, we've missed out that I have three cats and I fed them.

46:28 - 46:38

Did I feed them or did my daughter feed them? And they're looking at me, actually, often when I'm in the barrel. They're often looking at me, thinking I don't understand why anyone would want to do that. That seems like a really weird thing to want

46:38 - 46:48

to do. But yes, I'm sort of trapped in it like a lobster. If there's any kind of emergency, I can't get out of that barrel quickly. You'd have to almost throw your weight to flip it over.

46:48 - 46:59

And then possibly roll down the garden towards the hammock. I would. Although, one thing about the, when it's full of water and me, it's possibly the heaviest thing on Earth.

46:59 - 47:15

There is a reason why firemen don't all, you know, spend most of the day at the fire station in these barrels. So that when the call comes that they're all just completely paralysed because they can't get out. Yeah, and also, well, I'm interested

47:15 - 47:18

in this fire brigade because maybe they thought, well, we'll take the barrels of water.

47:18 - 47:25

And that's how we'll put out the fire. Oh no, they're too heavy. Oh, that's so stupid of us. I mean, it's so heavy. It's unbelievable.

47:25 - 47:34

It's like, to come back to physics, it's like a sort of singularity, like the density of a black hole at the centre of it. There's the densest thing in the universe and it might be me in the barrel.

47:34 - 47:39

Is it just your head poking out? How far submerged are you in the barrel?

47:39 - 47:51

This is a good question. I mean, there's something very cartoon in it. When I was a teenager, I went out with this woman and this woman's sister had a key ring and it was a sort of naughty key ring. It was a man, a little

47:51 - 48:02

man, and he had a barrel around him. He was naked, a bit like I looked like I was in the balcony. And when you pull the barrel down, his cock came out of sort of erection. There's a funny story attached to that, which I've never told

48:02 - 48:18

before on anything, never told it in stand-up. So I was at their house once and Monique, the sister of Janine, my girlfriend, had left her jacket at a club and she was quite young and her dad, who was a very bruisey bloke, he was an amateur

48:18 - 48:26

boxer, very cocky bloke, said I'll sort this out. And he called the club and said, right, okay, my daughter's left her jacket there, can you look for it?

48:26 - 48:32

Is this a denim jacket? No, no, what's your name? Sally, yeah. Can you go look for a denim jacket? Yeah, blah, blah, blah.

48:32 - 48:36

And then he starts pointing and went, what? Well, I don't know how to identify. Yeah, yeah, there's probably something in it.

48:36 - 48:44

Yeah, yeah, keys. Yeah, yeah, some keys in it. What? What are you saying? And then he went incredibly red and he actually said the phrase man with his cock sticking out.

48:44 - 48:56

And I laughed and laughed and laughed. I looked at Monique and clearly never told her dad that she had this key ring. And it was just one of the best things that's ever happened. Anyway,

48:56 - 49:08

my barrel is a bit like that. You'd have to be very strong to lift it up to expose yourself to the people on the balcony. By the way, I'm wearing not my pants now, I'm wearing disposable sauna pants. What?

49:08 - 49:15

Oh. Is that like a nappy? Disposable pants are a nappy, right? Black though, because I like to be sexy.

49:15 - 49:22

They're not white, come on. You're wearing a sexy black nappy in a bin. Yeah, it's a black nappy in a bin, exactly.

49:22 - 49:28

Just an aside to DOD, David Baddiel's in a barrel in a black nappy at the end of his garden.

49:28 - 49:32

I'm not at the end of my garden. The barrel isn't at the end. The hammock's at the end of the garden.

49:32 - 49:37

The barrel is at the front of the garden, near where the sauna is, on a deck that we've built for the barrel.

49:37 - 49:48

We reach another circular physics moment here because, I mean, we're all intrigued. We're all on tenterhooks to find out how.

49:48 - 49:56

You get out of it. But at the moment I am imagining the only option is you have to drink all of the water in it.

49:56 - 50:04

But then the problem is the nappy then because you have to excrete that then starts just circular economy itself, basically.

50:04 - 50:14

I'll tell you something. So I'm in the barrel. I tried to get my son not to join me in the barrel because there's not enough room but I kept on saying to him, do you want to have a go? And my son is incredibly cool.

50:14 - 50:24

He's 21. I just kept saying, no, no, obviously not and then I thought they were still in the kitchen which is nearby but they just left and my wife had turned the radio on and

50:24 - 50:38

here's the point for me doing this podcast. My radio show came on. So the radio show that I'm doing, the podcast and radio show I'm doing at the moment which is called 60 Years of Hurt and is about Englishness and football and traces whatever Englishness might be

50:38 - 50:44

through the history of the England men's football team over the last 60 years. It came on the radio because it's repeated on Monday afternoons.

50:44 - 50:53

So I thought, oh, I haven't actually listened to it back. On the radio, I'm going to stay in the barrel and just listen to my own radio show.

50:53 - 51:08

That's an interesting thing, isn't it? Because I'm an absolute clown at some level in the barrel. I feel very silly. I like it in the barrel because I want the water, but I feel like a total idiot. I'm always aware I bought this stupid thing. I'm using

51:08 - 51:20

it. I feel like a fool, but my radio show is on. That's a good thing, right? So it's kind of weird low status, high status thing going on. It's like, okay, you think I'm an idiot but I'm on the radio. So

51:20 - 51:27

that's good for half an hour. I'm there with the water up to my chin, just listening to myself going on about football.

51:27 - 51:50

It's nice because, you know, we live in a world of infinite choice where if you have your phone, you're constantly distracted and all the rest. Yet this is like literally immersion therapy for listening to your own radio show. You're forced to listen to the entire program and hear

51:50 - 52:02

it probably in a new way. That's true. In fact, I spotted something wrong with it and then wrote an annoying note to the producer after I came out of the... I was still dripping as I wrote the note. Another thing I was doing, I think, not while the

52:02 - 52:08

radio show was on, is playing chess on my phone. In the barrel? Yes, in the barrel. Yes.

52:08 - 52:20

Because I do that wherever I go but also definitely in the barrel which is a bit of a problem because if the moves get too exciting or whatever or too complicated, I might drop the phone in the barrel. Yeah. And that would

52:20 - 52:28

be terrible because... It's an extra layer of jeopardy and presumably the person you're playing against or the computer is not in a barrel so it's not really an even... It's not fair.

52:28 - 52:33

Unless you go on barrel mode where you can only play against people who are also in a barrel.

52:33 - 52:44

In the way that all of our parents were paranoid about electrical devices falling into baths, like that really seemed to be a big fear of the 70s.

52:44 - 52:51

Mainly toasters, but yes. Or hair dryers. Is there any danger, I wonder, to dropping an iPhone into a barrel?

52:51 - 53:07

Will you be like slowly sautéed by it as it cooks? No, although I'd got in the barrel. This is another point you've managed to raise here. I'd got in the barrel before the radio show came on and thought I know what I'll do, I'll play chess.

53:07 - 53:17

But when I reached over to my phone which was on the stool on top of the step you know why there's a stool on the step Yeah, of course. The phone had a temperature gauge on it and was

53:18 - 53:30

showing the phone has got too hot and needs to cool down. Which meant that I didn't know where to put it because I thought I could try it on the water. Have you ever tried that? Sometimes when my phone gets too hot I think, can I just rest

53:30 - 53:35

it on the top of some water to cool it down? Not actually immerse it in the water. That is risky, isn't it?

53:35 - 53:39

Just hold it just on the top of the water. What you need is your own little barrel.

53:39 - 53:47

Phone barrel. This is my dragon's den. For all the people who have a barrel and their phone is too hot, you need phone barrel.

53:48 - 53:53

And then you need rice barrel. So once you've put your phone in the phone barrel, you put it straight in the rice barrel.

53:53 - 53:57

Then you wait for it to reset and then you can play chess. That's brilliant. Thank you.

53:57 - 54:04

Sorry, you need to dry the rice then afterwards so you can eat it. So there's tiny barrels each one the size of a single grape.

54:04 - 54:16

David Baddiel, how do you get out of the barrel? Great question. By the time I'm immersed in the barrel, the stool is on the step next to me.

54:16 - 54:29

So I have to get hold of that put it behind me then get on the step go to the stool and then throw my legs which are, at the top of my legs obviously are some disposable sauna pants so anyone watching this, it's very

54:29 - 54:43

full of jeopardy for them. And then get my foot out onto the step and then I just stand dripping by the barrel for a while. Actually, I did do that because the whole point of the fucking barrel on a hot day when you're not in the sauna

54:43 - 54:57

is I'm going to enjoy the feeling. You know when you're in a hot place and you go swimming? Yeah. I don't love swimming to be honest, but I like getting out and feeling the water dry on me from the sun. Yeah. But

54:57 - 55:03

in my back garden I don't have a lounger and I wasn't going to brave the hammock again, not when I've come out of the barrel.

55:03 - 55:19

So I just stood in the back garden with the sun on me thinking this isn't as nice as when I'm, you know, on a holiday. But it's the best I can do. I enjoy that every time the woman from next door, who David has

55:19 - 55:29

avoided that morning, looks down. It's kind of like a 70s sitcom where he's always, his sauna pants are sliding down or his arse is sticking out the bottom of a hammock.

55:29 - 55:41

There's a sort of ooh, I'm sorry Vicar moment to it every single time. Yes. Well, actually on that note, I normally have a sauna late at night and I have every so often gone in naked to the sauna.

55:41 - 55:47

This is partly why I got the sauna pants because I thought I shouldn't probably go naked into the sauna even in my own back garden.

55:47 - 55:52

I briefly was doing that. Unfortunately, I forgot that we have a security light fitted.

55:52 - 56:01

So that's why I got the sauna pants because I was literally outside in my own back garden in the middle of the night thinking this is fine. It's dark.

56:01 - 56:11

No one can see me. Fuck! All the lights have come on. Okay. We're out of the barrel. We've sent an email to the producer going there was something wrong with this show.

56:11 - 56:15

You're fired. Sorry, do you do that email in a polite way? Hi, David Baddiel here.

56:15 - 56:20

Really sorry, but I just heard this at wasn't like you fucking idiots. Well, if you really want to know, I mean, we don't have time.

56:20 - 56:37

I do need to go, but it was specifically about the fact that we were talking about mavericks, about the English thing. I've got a theory that basically that England tends to suppress maverick behavior as a nation, but also within what they pick, who they

56:37 - 56:57

pick for England. And this was particularly prevalent during the 1970s. Stan Bowles, Tony Carey, Rodney Marsh was on the show, Peter Osgood, all these people. And then my theory is that slightly changed after 1986 when Maradona completely demonstrated that you need a maverick to win anything.

56:57 - 57:09

You need a maverick genius. And then we decided to go with Gaza, which went into that's the sort of theory. But on the show, we have commentary of Maradona putting the ball in the net with his hand. And then

57:09 - 57:15

I was very insistent on that. I really wanted to hear Barry Davis's commentary of the second goal, because it's so English.

57:15 - 57:29

Barry Davis says, he does all the commentary. He's got Bertorego, he won't need him, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he scores, and Barry Davis says, you have to say that's magnificent. And I think that's so English, because there's no way that if Gary Lineker

57:29 - 57:39

had put the ball in the net with his hand, and then scored a brilliant goal, the Argentine commentator would have just been spitting blood, right? He wouldn't have been saying, oh, how wonderful. You have to say that's wonderful, blah, blah, blah.

57:39 - 57:44

Anyway, I wrote to my producer to say, at no point do I say that that's the second goal.

57:44 - 57:55

I just started talking about that goal, and we assume everyone knows what I'm talking about, and I'm not sure Radio 4 audiences do. And Barry Davis, the greatest of all time. Yeah, he's fabulous. We've done that email.

57:55 - 58:03

I'm sensing it's mid-afternoon, so what happens between now and obviously dinner time, which you are taking, regardless of how hungry you are?

58:03 - 58:13

So, I don't know how much, like, you had Ben Elton on the other day, and Ben Elton probably had a day where he worked quite hard, because he works quite hard. And I sometimes work quite hard, but most of the time I'm thinking, how can I

58:13 - 58:27

maximise my pleasure? And I think people listening will think, David Baddiel is like a very, very shit aristocrat. He's like trying to live the life of a sort of 17th century bohemian of leisure, a libertine,

58:27 - 58:45

but he can't quite do it. And this happens again, I basically go and play tennis with my son. Now, it was too hot to play tennis when we meant to play tennis, which was at three o'clock. And so, David Lloyd, which is a local sports centre, we cancelled

58:45 - 58:58

our outdoor court and we went, five o'clock, and played on the indoor court, right? Now, I would say, yesterday, I sweated more on the indoor court of David Lloyd, which is not, than I ever have in my sauna.

58:58 - 59:11

And you know what there wasn't? There was no big barrel of water for me to get into out there. There was a swimming pool, but obviously I didn't want to get in that because it wasn't a barrel. Yeah, so it's real French Open vibes, you know,

59:11 - 59:31

where they lose half a stone during each match. Yes, exactly. Do you hold your game together? Do you remain Landel-like ice cool despite the heat? No, I get very angry and start shouting a lot. There's quite a lot of people looking over, children looking over, swearing

59:31 - 59:39

and the self-castigation that goes on throughout my tennis. I mean, I don't know if this is that interesting, but I've got a weird thing going on with my arm.

59:39 - 59:49

Now, you might think this is just tennis elbow, which is quite a funny disease anyway, isn't it? Yeah. There's a disease named after a sport, because I think you can have tennis elbow without playing tennis,

59:49 - 59:57

which seems mad to me. I mean, maybe if it became for tennis, it's possible. Almost definitely, tennis elbow, if I looked it up, would have a sort of Latin name or whatever.

59:57 - 1:00:08

Nothing to do with tennis, but it appears to be linked to tennis. But it's not to do with that. I had an injection, a blood test, a routine blood test, and the bloke doing the blood test recognised me and started talking to me about football.

1:00:08 - 1:00:25

Endlessly, endlessly saying, you know, I support Nigeria, but I really like England, and this and that. On and on and on. You know, whenever that happens, I am always polite. I'm often interested anyway, but I'm thinking, like, mate, it's really hurting. The needle's been in for

1:00:25 - 1:00:30

25 minutes. The amount of blood you're taking while you're going on, it seems to be a barrel full.

1:00:30 - 1:00:37

He was getting really irate, and he rang talk sports like banging the table. It's like banging your arm like this. And another thing, they called us bottlers.

1:00:37 - 1:00:44

Basically, it was a man doing a sort of, I would say, a seven-minute rant about football.

1:00:44 - 1:00:51

I mean, quite a friendly rant, and he was a lovely bloke. But he was just endlessly taking blood, like far too much blood.

1:00:51 - 1:00:56

I think because he wanted to just keep the conversation going. And ever since then, my arm has hurt quite a lot.

1:00:56 - 1:01:04

And it hurt yesterday when I was playing tennis as a result of this. So I was swearing, I was hot, I was sweating, and my arm hurt. What was the score?

1:01:04 - 1:01:18

Children clutching copies of the hugely successful parent agency children's book series you've written are standing at the side of court as you slam your racket off the ground. You piece of it! Yes, yes.

1:01:18 - 1:01:27

No, that's true. I think it went to a tie-break. It was two, one set all, and then we went to a tie-break and then my son won 7-4.

1:01:27 - 1:01:33

I think by that time two things had happened. One was I'd got quite hungry, so I wasn't focused.

1:01:33 - 1:01:44

Because the thing about tennis is, which I'm not particularly good at, is I have to completely focus and watch the ball into the strings, and I can't do it because I'm always thinking about something else. And food is a big one. And the other thing was this podcast.

1:01:44 - 1:01:51

Because I remember thinking, halfway through the game, now, am I going to be talking about this? Which I am.

1:01:51 - 1:01:54

It turns out I am, right? But the minute I started thinking, am I going to be talking about this?

1:01:54 - 1:02:02

I was shit at tennis. Do you know what I mean? Because I wasn't in the zone. We've done an episode with your son before this one, and he didn't bother him at all. He was like,

1:02:02 - 1:02:07

I toyed with my dad, and then I beat him in the tie-break. Yeah. So what do we have for dinner then?

1:02:07 - 1:02:12

Well, so, on the ride home, because my son also likes food. My son is a chef.

1:02:12 - 1:02:24

Well, he was a chef. He's now given up being a chef, but he was a chef at a place called Morrow for about a year. He's a brilliant cook. Yeah. But he decided, and it's very quick to get me to agree to this, let's

1:02:24 - 1:02:37

pick something up on the way back. So we spent a long time discussing fish and chips, KFC, pizza, blah, blah, blah, and then driving around, and everywhere was shut. I mean, not KFC,

1:02:37 - 1:02:50

but we decided against KFC, because it was Bang Holiday Monday. There was sort of an Indian restaurant that looked like, that's a place that's open at 4am every day, obviously it's open, and it was shut, and I've never seen that before. It was a very

1:02:50 - 1:03:02

hot day, so maybe everyone was in their barrels. But either way, in the end, I just started saying to him in a slightly pleading way, Ezra, that's my son, can you just cook? Because I know it will be fantastic when he cooks.

1:03:02 - 1:03:06

And he was, he'd got in his head, no, we're going to get some fantastic takeaway.

1:03:06 - 1:03:18

So that became a source of tension all the way back. But eventually we went to a pizza place, and it was so full, I said, it's going to take us about an hour to get fed here. And also we were very sweaty. So I said,

1:03:18 - 1:03:25

let's go home. And we had prawns and rice. I bought some quite big prawns. You'll know about this because you're in Australia.

1:03:25 - 1:03:38

Below my waist is just massive prawns. In a barrel of prawns. But Australians, I think, think that British prawns are just tiny little shrimp. But actually you can now get quite big ones. Although, to be fair, these were Argentinian.

1:03:38 - 1:03:48

Got it. And Ezra made them into a kind of paella with rice. And the whole family, the whole family ate in the garden, not my daughter is a vegan and my wife is vegetarian, so

1:03:48 - 1:04:02

they had, my daughter had made tofu with some kind of cabbage. She always makes some kind of cabbage with soy sauce. And yeah, it was lovely. Incredibly, I don't have a, and it all went wrong and I shitted it up, funny story, to go with

1:04:02 - 1:04:09

dinner. I couldn't get in the chair. You sat on a chair and it was really easy to get on and off. Yeah, I didn't beclown at the situation.

1:04:09 - 1:04:18

How does this evening wind down then? It's been a high stress day filled with these beautiful set pieces, I'm going to say.

1:04:18 - 1:04:30

Yes, there was one more but difficult moment which was to do with the bins, which we did talk about right at the start of here. Now, obviously when I say the bins, I don't mean the barrel. Like when the bin thing happens, which is obviously every Monday night

1:04:30 - 1:04:40

I put the bins out. When I say I, I mean my family do and I have to be forced to help. But yes, the bins do come out. I don't think, oh, wait a minute, that's a bin, isn't it? Is it green bin, yellow bin

1:04:40 - 1:04:50

or barrel bin day? It's water bin, stagnant water bin. The actual bins. And that's a very regimented procedure.

1:04:50 - 1:05:00

Mainly my daughter regiments it again. She does the food waste and my son tends to take out the recycling because if it's heavy, he's the strongest. So he takes that out.

1:05:00 - 1:05:12

But then I find sometimes like, what's my role here? And I reckon my role is wheeling them out from the front of the house to a bit where the bin men can get them more easily. You're the finisher.

1:05:12 - 1:05:20

You know, you're brought on. It's controversial. They've not started the deal, but you know, bring him on with 20 minutes to go and he can make an impact.

1:05:20 - 1:05:32

I'm literally sitting on the sofa and someone says, you've done nothing again, Dad. And I'm like, no, no, I'm going to go up there. I'm going to actually do the wheeling out of the bins. But here's what went wrong. Something did go wrong.

1:05:32 - 1:05:48

I get there. I get hold of it. And you know, this arm is a bit dodgy. It's my tennis elbow arm. I try and pull it. It basically immediately gets weak and hurts and it falls over and all the recycling goes out onto the pavement. So

1:05:48 - 1:05:56

then to put that back and somehow with my left arm, get it back up again. Because obviously I play tennis and so the tennis elbow was worse.

1:05:56 - 1:06:10

Green bin elbow is what some cultures call it, actually. Green bin elbow. It was a terrible case of green bin elbow. And actually, I think the green bin hit me on the elbow as it came down. Possibly also some cardboard hit that elbow as well.

1:06:10 - 1:06:20

Like, I don't think anyone saw me. Oh, your neighbor did. Your neighbor did and you were just in your pants and she's like, here goes again. Yeah, my neighbor, she's seen me, possibly naked,

1:06:20 - 1:06:36

in the barrel nappies and then picking up what looks to her like I'm rooting through garbage outside the house. She's calling the police by now, isn't she? Clearly that bloke doesn't live there. How does an insomniac go to sleep?

1:06:36 - 1:06:50

So, we watched telly. There was a bit of a fight about that because there's a show on at the moment, which is very good, called DTF, which I believe is a rude acronym, DTF St. Louis, and we watched that, but the fight was

1:06:50 - 1:07:00

about the fact that my son and I and we're all watching it and he has to go to work tomorrow and we were too late by now. By the time we'd had dinner out, we'd done the bins, it was too late,

1:07:00 - 1:07:06

he was going to go to bed. And we had a problem there because I said, I really want to watch the next episode and he said, well, I'm going to bed. And I said, well,

1:07:06 - 1:07:13

I can watch it without you. And he said, no, no, you can't do that because I'm not going to watch it on my own. Because he's a Gen Z person, he doesn't watch telly on his own.

1:07:13 - 1:07:18

So, we had a terrible standoff and eventually he said, alright, alright, I'll watch it.

1:07:18 - 1:07:32

Anyway, to answer the question, I take a whole bunch of supplements and a sleeping pill and I sleep with a blindfold on, I sleep with a sort of odd tooth mould thing because of sleep apnea, so I have to put teeth moulds

1:07:32 - 1:07:39

in my mouth. And these have only recently come back from Bulgaria. Very recently they've come back from Bulgaria because I left them in Bulgaria.

1:07:39 - 1:07:56

I went to Bulgaria to renounce American citizenship. Really? Basically, I'm an American citizen. Well, I'm not anymore. I was born in America and it's a nightmare being an American citizen unless you live in America because you have to file taxes in two countries. America is the only country

1:07:56 - 1:08:05

where wherever you live you still have to file American accounts. That means you have to have two accountants and spend a lot of time sorting out the costs of fortune.

1:08:05 - 1:08:10

I've always thought, oh, but I might go and live in America. I finally realised, no, I'm not.

1:08:10 - 1:08:21

Certainly not at the moment, so fuck it. But to renounce American citizenship, you have to get to an immigration lawyer and the immigration lawyer will say yes, in London, it will take you about two years because

1:08:21 - 1:08:28

there's people trying to do it. You have to go to the embassy. It takes a long time. However, Bulgaria, they can fit you in tomorrow.

1:08:28 - 1:08:38

So I went to Bulgaria and did renounce American citizenship in Bulgaria. Lovely. I had a lovely couple of days on my own in Sofia. That's a city, not a woman.

1:08:38 - 1:08:52

The only problem was when I came back, I'd lost my teeth, not my actual teeth, my teeth that I put in overnight because I have sleep apnea and these teeth molds, they put your jaw a little bit forward when you wear them and that

1:08:52 - 1:09:06

apparently stops you snoring so badly. So I left them and I had to contact the hotel in Bulgaria to ship them back to me. And the whole time I'm thinking some poor person has to pick up these things that have been in my mouth that are in

1:09:06 - 1:09:16

the bedroom that I stayed in and sort of like gingerly put them into some plastic. Oh God, I've got to ship these to some person in London and it's disgusting. So

1:09:16 - 1:09:29

I'm imagining that as a synopsis so you can't sleep because they haven't arrived yet. The woman comes out on the balcony and you're in this flat spin where you're like, I needed to go to Sofia to renounce my American citizenship and I left my teeth and it's just

1:09:29 - 1:09:44

she's shaking her head. Now he's drunk this tramp who's moved in next door. So to answer your question, I wear a blindfold, I wear wristbands if you look them up they're mainly for nausea but I have decided they help you sleep reflexology wristbands, I've got

1:09:44 - 1:09:56

a little sort of knob on them and I wear four of them, four I'm really coming across as mental aren't I and a blindfold and I take a whole lot of supplements and a sleeping pill and then the most important thing to me

1:09:56 - 1:10:10

is so we have three cats I don't know if you know I did a show called Catman, David Bill Catman on Channel 4 because I'm obsessed with cats and Zelda who is the most angry, really very angry, slightly semi-feral one of our cats

1:10:10 - 1:10:21

because she used to live with my dad and my dad got dementia and when he got dementia she still lived with my dad but the carers basically just fed her in the garden, right, because they couldn't be doing with an animal in the house

1:10:21 - 1:10:31

and then when my dad died she came back and it really wasn't like Long Lost Family I don't know if you've seen that show. Oh yeah, amazing show It wasn't like that. Meet in the cafe and they hug Unless I've missed an episode of Long Lost Family where

1:10:31 - 1:10:36

the mum chased the daughter under a cupboard and hissed at her. It was fucking carnage.

1:10:36 - 1:10:39

Vicky Campbell's like, it's alright guys, you'll be fine.

1:10:39 - 1:10:45

They hate each other and so as a result the three cats who were here then lived downstairs and Zelda tends to sleep

1:10:45 - 1:11:02

upstairs to stop fighting even though she's very very angry and quite snappy at humans not my wife who she really loves. I mean it's very depressing for me she loves my wife she kind of tolerates me but what I want, and this is the answer

1:11:02 - 1:11:15

to the question, is the cat to be near me because that helps me sleep. That's a bit like Tony from Bullseye Unfortunately, Zelda really doesn't want that. Zelda's not like Tony from Bullseye and so if I try and move Zelda from my wife's sleeping

1:11:15 - 1:11:23

form to my insomniac one she will scratch me. And that goes on most of the night.

1:11:23 - 1:11:24

In one!

1:11:24 - 1:11:26

One hundred and eight, no!

1:11:26 - 1:11:33

We need you to doze and then the day is officially over. So what time would you say you

1:11:33 - 1:11:43

I'm listening to an audiobook which I put on 0.7 It's Eleanor Bron reading The House of Mirth presently by Edith Wharton.

1:11:43 - 1:11:43

Yeah.

1:11:43 - 1:11:45

If Eleanor Bron is going

1:11:45 - 1:11:56

and then as I got off the train, that helps me to sleep for some reason. And so I listened to, I don't know, it felt to me like about 20 minutes of that and then

1:11:56 - 1:12:08

I don't remember after that so I must have gone to sleep quite quickly by my standards. I tend, this particular sleeping pill, Dari Dorexan it's particularly designed to stop you waking in the night and that has been my main

1:12:08 - 1:12:08

problem.

1:12:08 - 1:12:08

Right.

1:12:08 - 1:12:14

Is I would wake up at three o'clock and be awake. And it still happens with Gary Dorexan

1:12:14 - 1:12:21

With Gary Bannister If you take a Gary Bannister you're up all night but a Danny Maddox will send you straight to sleep

1:12:21 - 1:12:21

But last night

1:12:21 - 1:12:30

I didn't, I got to sleep and I woke up and I can finally say this podcast has ended.

1:12:30 - 1:12:38

Thank you very much David Baddiel for telling us what you did yesterday.

1:12:38 - 1:12:40

Thank you.

1:12:40 - 1:12:48

So there we are, David Baddiel's Yesterday I must admit, like Timothy said

1:12:48 - 1:13:01

I think we've covered hammocks. We've covered hammocks now. And I think we were halfway through hammock chats the first time he raised the possibility of us being all hammocked out. And then

1:13:01 - 1:13:13

that's not even the best thing he can't get in and out of. Then he's got, it's almost like he's bought a giant barrel just to have some content for yesterday. Just a man standing. Could you imagine if you look next door and David Baddiel's

1:13:13 - 1:13:19

head is poking out of a barrel of a sort of slightly ornate wheelie bin Is that David Baddiel?

1:13:19 - 1:13:36

Is that David Baddiel? What's he doing with his head out of a bin? I do love the comedy slapstick moment of the first time he uses his new sauna late at night and he comes out naked into the garden and the fluorescent security lights all just

1:13:36 - 1:13:49

each one makes a gong gong gong sound. It has got some mothers who haven't vibes today, doesn't it? Like at some point if he'd rolled down a hill in a bath, you'd be like, I can see that. And then I got in a bath and rolled down

1:13:49 - 1:14:03

a hill. That's just what happened. It's maybe because a lot of the time when we talk to people, in fact, Max, we've had people in the past who say oh no, I can't do it. I had such a dud day yesterday.

1:14:03 - 1:14:13

Nothing happened. I think they need to listen to this. But also, there's a couple of things. One is he said literally nothing happened yesterday. And then he went on to tell us that, you know,

1:14:13 - 1:14:25

he had this day day. Imagine if he has a day where something happens. And also, big fan of, and maybe it won't come across in the edit, but like we record for quite a long time and David's like, actually, I've really got to be

1:14:25 - 1:14:35

getting on. But then he's a completist. So then he couldn't, then he'd say, let me tell you about how I renounced my US citizenship in Bulgaria. I'm like, we're trying to end the pod and you won't stop.

1:14:35 - 1:14:45

I'm delighted because, you know, as I said at the top of the, you know, like fantasy football is, was like a really seminal thing for me as a viewer.

1:14:45 - 1:14:55

Like a big impact on my career definitely. If it had been shit, I'd have been like, that's annoying, but it was great. Imagine how it feels to just hear about your idol being trapped in various things.

1:14:55 - 1:15:05

If you've ever been trapped in anything or for any other reason would like to get in touch with us, this is how you would go about that.

1:15:05 - 1:15:15

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

1:15:15 - 1:15:22

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.

1:15:22 - 1:15:29

Another episode that just confirms that I'm in it for life. I love doing this.

1:15:29 - 1:15:38

You know, it's not that I, there's times I don't think I love doing this, but then I really loved doing that one, Max.

1:15:38 - 1:15:54

If you enjoy this podcast, we do, we're going on a new listener drive. That's what I'm calling this. Yeah, good idea. We also do one during the week. We announced it at the end of the episode where we talked about our own yesterday.

1:15:54 - 1:16:01

We've also got 200 tickets to sell in Dublin, but no one's listening anymore. We've nearly sold out that one. It's nearly sold out, that one.

1:16:01 - 1:16:05

And, you know, we should do some more. We'll do some more live ones. We'll do some more recorded ones.

1:16:05 - 1:16:15

What's the plan for our, sorry, what's our new listener drive? How are we, how are we, I think it's a good idea. I mean, it seems to be a really probably the ultimate aim is to have as many listeners as possible. What's our, well

1:16:15 - 1:16:31

what's our plan? In an era where we steadfastly refuse to go video, we need a listener drive. So all of the listeners, if you can contact 100 people, I'd tell them to listen. This is a good one, isn't it? Yeah, really good.

1:16:31 - 1:16:38

Like a chain letter. Yeah. Oh, shit. I'm in it for life, Max. Okay, yeah. Cheers, David.

S5 EP6: Bella Hull

WDWDY #80.1: Washing Pandora's Carpet (Max's Yesterday)

S5 EP5: Roger O'Sullivan

WDWDY #79.1: I've got a question for you (David's Yesterday)

S5 EP4: Mike Rice

WDWDY #78.1: Le Grande Gazpacho (Max's Yesterday)

S5 EP3: Dan Tiernan

WDWDY #77.1: The Humid-Centipede (David Yesterday)

S5 EP2: Kyla Cobbler

WDWDY #76.1: To live and die in L.A. (Max Yesterday)

S5 EP1: Kristen Schaal

WDWDY #75: New Listener Drive

We're still in this for life...

BREAKING NEWS!!!

WDWDY #74: Hoovered Under The Duvet

S4 EP22: Briony May Williams

WDWDY #73: I'm Eating Bullets

S4 EP21: Ben Elton

WDWDY #72: The Montenegro Tease

S4 EP20: Shane Daniel Byrne

WDWDY #71: I could go on You Bet!

S4 EP19: Amy Annette

WDWDY #70: In The Air Tonight

S4 EP18: Paul Williams

WDWDY #69: Caught with a Kumquat

S4 EP17: Waleed Aly

WDWDY #68: I am Poo Poo

S4 EP16: Lloyd Langford

WDWDY #67: I HATE NATURE

S4 EP15: Isy Suttie

WDWDY #66: Busted knees and ruptured spleens

S4 EP14: Mel Giedroyc

WDWDY #65: Max & David's Woke Daydream

S4 EP13: Chris Addison

WDWDY #64: It's 6am in Texas

S4 EP12: Bilal Zafar

WDWDY #63: Faulty Bike Seats

S4 EP11: Tom Cashman

WDWDY #62: Dublin Show Post Mortem

S4 EP10: Phil Ellis

WDWDY #61: Exceptional Perineum

S4 EP9: Marjolein Robertson

WDWDY #60: Yesterday waits for no man

S4 EP8: Fern Brady

WDWDY #59: Fun Facts and Days Before

S4 EP7: Michelle Wolf

WDWDY #58: Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y.

S4 EP6: Susie McCabe

WDWDY #57: Sandwich and soup combo

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S4 EP23: David Baddiel

S4 EP23: David Baddiel