0:06 - 0:08
podcasts there are millions of them
0:08 - 0:10
some might say too many
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I have one already
0:11 - 0:13
I don't have any because there are enough
0:13 - 0:22
politics business sport you name it there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day
0:22 - 0:25
but nobody is covering the most important topic of all
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why is that are they scared
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too afraid of being censored by the man
0:29 - 0:34
possibly but not us we're here to ask the only question that matters
0:34 - 0:38
we try and say it at the same time Max. What did you do yesterday?
0:38 - 0:44
What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more.
0:44 - 0:45
Day before yesterday, Max.
0:46 - 0:49
The greatest and most interesting day of your life.
0:49 - 0:53
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
0:53 - 0:55
And I'm David O'Doherty.
0:55 - 1:08
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello, you're listening to Midweek Mayhem from the people that bring you What Did You Do yesterday. My name's Max Rushden. Alongside me, David O'Doherty. Welcome, David.
1:09 - 1:15
Bing, bing, bing. I've decided to do the whole episode today only using sound effects.
1:15 - 1:33
That last bit you did was definitely words. Look, what the listeners need to know is I've never seen someone down a third of a Tony's Choco Lonely bar as close to the start of a podcast and then seemingly just have a normal voice when we begin it.
1:33 - 1:47
It's at Cadbury's Breakaway, so there is some wafer in there. That's a little broadcasting trick that I learned at the Bruno Brooks Radio School. If you really need some chocolate, have a little wafer, have a Kit Kat. Chip Cobb writes, oh God, I was on the train during the auto cum machine story.
1:48 - 1:55
I still have lower face cramp. So yes, that was a wonderful moment last week. Finally, David Cracked.
1:55 - 2:01
The auto text of our show had translated auto cue to auto cum.
2:02 - 2:12
And Lenny Henry went on stage and was just splattered by this dreadful machine as he tried to deliver his material.
2:13 - 2:25
Absolutely hosed down by the auto cum machine. See, it is funny. it only took an extra week but now old chocolatey face there is lolling away
2:25 - 2:37
it's the fact that it's auto isn't it it's not a manual one obviously a manual one is takes longer this one is absolutely pumping it out
2:37 - 2:42
the gaviscon ad they're manual the guys with just the classic hoses
2:42 - 2:47
do you think that's a manual i would say that's pretty that was in my
2:47 - 3:03
mind sort of what a machine would look like. Poor Lenny. Poor Lenny. Lots of people like the Amy Annette episode. So thanks, Amy. Dan's been in touch as a purist. I agree. David crossed a line
3:03 - 3:14
here, not because there was too much of his yesterday. No, he tasked us with finding another name consisting of three nouns. At the beginning of the episode, I lost my concentration. And then he says willy carson
3:14 - 3:33
yeah that's good that's really good actually yeah it's also sent me down would i lie to you not the tv show but the song because she did identify it as the greatest song ever written and specifically the bit where the guy goes
3:35 - 3:47
well dobby wrote max doing the charles or his eddie impression of not gonna game i play was peak podcasting for me. I had to screw up my face on the tube. La-di-da, look at me in Richard Curtis' London.
3:48 - 4:01
So as not to be one of those people who laughs out loud in public, it's my favourite bit of that legendary song too. I briefly, for under a single day, owned it as a taped cassette single before Misha at school stole it and brazenly pretended it was hers.
4:01 - 4:09
So my emotions when hearing it are both euphoric at the perfectly timed oh yeah and the deep sadness that man's humanity to man or woman.
4:09 - 4:15
Wow. Thank you, Dobby. There is a slight age difference between us. We'll never admit which one of us is older.
4:16 - 4:20
No, but you had a 50th birthday party last year.
4:20 - 4:23
And you have one in four years' time.
4:23 - 4:26
I'm coming up on the rails.
4:26 - 4:30
Did you have a single? Were you of the single era?
4:30 - 4:34
Well, my first single was the Anfield Rap on Seven Inch.
4:34 - 4:35
Oh, interesting.
4:35 - 4:42
My first album was Bad by Michael Jackson. But at the time, you know, he hadn't been cancelled. I think it's worth pointing out.
4:42 - 4:45
No, absolutely. Did you try and learn off any of the dances?
4:45 - 4:51
Oh, I can do all of them. Both Liverpools, both Bruce Grobelars and Michael Jackson.
4:51 - 4:58
Do the players do raps in the Anfield rap or is it just generally raps about, I'm not familiar with it.
4:58 - 5:13
No, no, no, the players do raps. John Barnes begins by saying, Liverpool FC are hot as hell, United Tottenham Arsenal. And then he says, I come from Jamaica, my name is John Barneys, and when I get the ball, the crowd go bananas.
5:18 - 5:26
That is good stuff, though, isn't it? Joe says, John Claude Van Dam has a past tense verb and two nouns in his name.
5:26 - 5:38
And Donald says, I bring your attention to the three-noun name Long John Silver. Regarding John, I have no preference between a toilet or a customer of a prostitute.
5:38 - 5:43
your friend in showbiz i didn't know that was what a john was that
5:43 - 5:47
oh because i was thinking it was gene lies in jeans
5:47 - 5:49
it's not long jean silver is it
5:49 - 5:56
oh john claude because i think he is j-e-a-n what's the claude sorry the ai system
5:56 - 6:03
i think he's claude is the past tense verb so gene claude van damme
6:03 - 6:11
well what i'm gonna say is if john is say a single leg of jeans okay claude is
6:11 - 6:25
the ai system it's one of the potential ais that's going to take over the world a van is a van and a dam is a dam john claude van damme you could argue is actually four nouns
6:26 - 6:35
which is better than graham's tony hart morp's friend a three noun person but a three anatomical noun person as well
6:35 - 6:37
oh yeah tony hart that is good
6:37 - 6:52
neil writes your use of the swap shop postcode w12aqt as a default chimed with me david i use b12jp which was tis was he says i'm not sure if that gets us anywhere but do you know where it's got us david
6:52 - 6:56
would you like to listen to my life in postcodes?
6:57 - 6:59
Okay. Hit the music.
7:00 - 7:07
These are all the postcodes I lived in. Are you interested?
7:07 - 7:11
Yeah, I'm so interested.
7:11 - 7:20
CB12BY. 10961. 0x13PG. 0x26QB. 0x44AE. CB12BY. N22AT.
7:21 - 7:27
N44HB. WC1XOET. EC1Y8QP. 3070. That's my whole life.
7:27 - 7:39
that's really good but we do know where the listener is now that'd be the only thing though don't we well
7:39 - 7:43
no that's my life in postcodes
7:43 - 7:51
oh i thought you were doing the thing where you were reading a letter really well
7:51 - 8:00
he said i wasn't sure where it got us and so this afternoon i thought well i'll tell you where it's got us it's got to the brand new game of me reading out my life in postcards.
8:00 - 8:02
That was beautiful. Thank you so much for that.
8:02 - 8:12
Yeah. Sarah writes, Hi, David. My boyfriend and I are big fans of what did you do yesterday, particularly the midweek mayhems. At your request, we are contacting you directly with a Max story.
8:12 - 8:24
This is after I sellotaped Kate Allen to a chair. I lived in Australia during COVID and worked for a while in a rat test clinic at Channel 9 during Max's time there. The nonsensical system meant that
8:24 - 8:32
despite being able to come into the office and hang around for ages before coming up for your test. Once you'd had it, you had to wait 15 minutes outside the room to see if you were positive or
8:32 - 8:42
negative. Max once came up mid-making some toast downstairs and was understandably baffled when I said he couldn't go back down to retrieve it until his test result was ready. I can't remember if I
8:42 - 8:56
was nice and allowed him to get his toast or not. Apologies to Max if I did in fact deny him his breakfast. Not very showbiz. Happily, he was negative and hopefully his toast was good. Everything is showbiz. In it for life. Center of the universe. Lots of love and thanks for love. Sarah and Matt thank you Sarah
8:56 - 9:08
so I went to Australia in 2022 when things were still pretty uptight as regards to get into places you had to have a certificate to say that you'd been
9:08 - 9:25
vaccinated and my main memory of that was I wasn't aware that this was going to be required but I remembered that a year before I had an EU vaccine pass on my phone so the lady said you can't
9:25 - 9:35
come into the restaurant if you don't have it and I said hang on I do have one it's the EU one and I had to go back in front of her you know the requisite 18 months or whatever it was everyone
9:35 - 9:50
was staring I was like here it is here it is here it is bang and I held it up and she said what's this and I said that's the EU vaccine certificate and she said what and I said I'm from Europe you
9:50 - 9:59
know which is something that you don't get to say very often but as if to be like I am the Champs-Élysées I am the Eiffel Tower
9:59 - 10:03
and she looked sort of baffled I said you get this when
10:03 - 10:19
you've had two vaccines and i turned it around and i'd gone back to my vaccine pass and on to the next photo which was a picture of a mannequin wearing a yellow beret so my friend's yellow beret
10:19 - 10:31
had blown away and she said she couldn't find one and then i'd seen one so i took a photo of it and i've just been semi-aggressively holding it in a woman's face in a cafe in ed or in melbourne
10:31 - 10:37
being like i'm from europe we have a way of doing things in europe
10:37 - 10:43
in france when you got vaccinated you got a yellow beret that's what happened
10:44 - 10:51
now david you've been on this show where you're covered in lube david O'Doherty covered in lube in your escape rooms
10:51 - 11:06
craig says my oh my days episode three was more stressful watching experience than uncut gems i've never shouted so much at my television david you owe me a course of beta blockers and he says i'm sure you've had a thousand of these, but I couldn't stop laughing at David alongside Nish and Amy Annette. I'm sure
11:06 - 11:15
it's just the perspective, but his head looks twice as big as either of them. And Lee, he sent me a screenshot with you in a yellow hat, which I presume is an enormous yellow hat, but it's very
11:15 - 11:21
tight on your head. And then Nish and Amy are next to you. And I mean, it's twice the size.
11:21 - 11:29
Look, we were sat around a sort of horseshoe, one show type couch, and I was put on the end.
11:29 - 11:37
And so the perspective will be distorted by where I was sitting. It's just a normal head.
11:39 - 11:48
Nick in Dublin says, Dear Max and David, we know Max has held and then lost many jobs. The BBC London Breakfast Show, the Gaviscon gig, hosting the Champions League on Standsport, the project.
11:49 - 12:03
David, not so many. Before taking up the tiny keyboard, the only job Doddles has previously mentioned was his summer driving the giant vacuum cleaner to suck up split meat products in a german hot dog factory i really want to know how david felt watching the robot cleaner in
12:03 - 12:16
heathrow airport edge towards his split prep meatball is he worried that his backup career has disappeared to automation i want to know what's worse losing a job to paul ross or to an oversized rumba nick in dublin
12:16 - 12:29
that is fair enough to be honest i worked many jobs i was a a postman for a while like a relief christmas postman because they'd bring in basically a
12:29 - 12:41
load of students for the busy christmas period because it was seven times more posts used to come in at christmas i'm imagining this doesn't happen anymore i'm imagining not so many people
12:41 - 12:46
write 40 christmas cards and put them all in the post box at the same time
12:46 - 12:49
were you good at it Did you get bitten by a dog?
12:49 - 12:53
So I was mostly in the sorting office. I delivered some parcels.
12:53 - 13:03
Oh, you have talked about the sorting office. At some point you talked about being in a sorting office. And then I told my story about being sent to Stornoway as a letter for BBC.
13:03 - 13:12
Yes, yes. One part of it was delivering parcels. And that, I mean, as with everything, it loses its magic after a while.
13:13 - 13:29
But for the first week, you ring a doorbell. I'm in an Irish Postal Service tie and a hat and you hear an excited child thundering down a flight of steps and you hand them a present. I mean, come on.
13:29 - 13:42
When you were assigned your hat, did they have to climb to the top of the dust off the giant barrister wig helmet? Oh no, the British Army hat. Kate and Ken write,
13:42 - 13:55
Hi, Max. David and Mars Bar. On a recent weekend break to the gorgeous Inish Boffin, we spent a great evening in the pub just having the crack. My husband told an Angela Ash's themed tale of building his own snooker table with his brother as kids.
13:55 - 14:06
They used an old door and old tires were cut up to create the bouncing pockets. The snooker balls were painted golf balls and, of course, it was a broom handle for a cue until they acquired one cue to share between them.
14:06 - 14:19
You can imagine our delight when a day or two later, DOD, told such a similar tale on episode 69, the two sets of brothers had built their tables a mere 40 kilometers away inspired by the same epic match between Steve Davis and Dennis Taylor
14:19 - 14:29
we've taken the liberty to pitch the full combination of ideas and Debra Meaden is very much in looking forward to working together in it for life Kate and Ken
14:29 - 14:40
Touker Suleyman wants to drill down into the numbers Angela's Ashes if you don't know it is a book about the one time ever Ireland won cricket's most prestigious tournament it
14:40 - 14:46
i'm just trying to think is that a book i've actually read i don't think that's what happens
14:46 - 14:52
it's about an incredibly grim upbringing in limerick but then one of ireland's most favorite
14:52 - 15:10
youtube clips is the man who wrote it and became incredibly well known and successful from it being absolutely yelled out of it by another man on a popular chat show as in this is all
15:10 - 15:17
bullshit this is rubbish Ireland loves the sort of misery biography or autobiography and that was the first one
15:17 - 15:25
Tanya in Sydney says dear Maximus and Doddles we loved your show in Sydney David thank you for the laughs
15:25 - 15:37
you are like aloe vera on sunburn a soothing balm in troubled times although once i was on key corker in belize and a sort of local man called mandingo
15:37 - 15:48
treated my sunburn with aloe vera but he hadn't taken all the prickles off and it actually really fucking hurt further proof this podcast is the center of the known universe i was buttering toast
15:48 - 15:56
with flora proactive yesterday at the exact moment max raised it i've heard so many others mention this phenomenon but now i know it's true
15:56 - 15:57
there we are
15:57 - 16:04
mandingo that's what i've taken from that just seemingly he's your butler that just travels the world with you
16:05 - 16:09
wonder how he's getting on yeah he was quite the character
16:09 - 16:13
what's the most curious sunburn you've ever had
16:13 - 16:25
mine was i once took care to put on a lot of waterproof factor 50 because i'm irish great and then went snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef.
16:25 - 16:36
And it turns out when I snorkel, my arse and the sort of maybe five inches of the small of my back stick out of the water.
16:36 - 16:43
And obviously I hadn't put sunblock on that. Who has ever sunblocked whatever that region is called?
16:44 - 16:54
And it only became apparent later that evening that part of your body is incredibly vital to stuff like sitting down and wearing clothes.
16:55 - 17:00
And yeah, it was an absolute disaster. I had to go shirtless for a few days.
17:00 - 17:07
Oh, nice. Good stuff. I was about to say, imagine if you looked like Ben Elton, but that might be a spoiler for a future episode.
17:08 - 17:16
I don't want to get in trouble for that sort of thing. Hey, do you want to play? You want to split up the quizzes.
17:16 - 17:20
They're too close together. The theme musics are great, but let's break them up.
17:20 - 17:25
Okay, so they're just normal countries now and cheese board at the end, or which way around do you want to do it?
17:25 - 17:29
Let's go cheese now.
17:29 - 17:44
Five. Four. Three. Two. One. This is cheese! I've got cheese.
17:44 - 18:20
This is from Nicola. Boys, boys, boys. Over the last few weeks, I have found myself shouting into the void as I listened to your cheese quiz on Midweek Mayhem.
18:20 - 18:30
Why has no one named the lowest of all the cheeses before? I can only assume you attract a very middle-class audience. Was I the only person to think, but that's a posh cheese when Boursin was suggested last week.
18:30 - 18:41
It's French and you eat it with bread and wine, for fuck's sake. The Cheez-Eye Bix is strictly for spreading between slices of cheap white bread only or maybe on top of a supermarket own brand cracker if you're feeling flushed.
18:41 - 18:48
The other is, I'm sure, a staple of school lunchboxes the world over. May I humbly submit the following. Brie.
18:48 - 18:49
Bing, bing, bing.
18:49 - 18:52
Laughing Cow. Caerphilly.
18:52 - 18:54
Bing, bing, bing.
18:54 - 18:55
Cashel Blue.
18:55 - 18:57
Bing, bing, bing.
18:58 - 18:59
Cheese Strings.
18:59 - 19:03
Oh! Bing, bing. right now we're getting somewhere
19:03 - 19:05
it's a one cheese board
19:05 - 19:08
when we did the live gig in melbourne
19:09 - 19:20
and i had what's the cheese in my pocket the first guest yelled from the melbourne crowd was cheese strings because i had said it was a low cheese
19:20 - 19:25
and then we've waited what three months for someone so thank you so much was that
19:26 - 19:32
thank you nicola so we've done the low cheese unfortunately now we have a high cheese
19:32 - 19:42
no clues but it's a one cheese board we're so close to the end of curdle ii and that this has only been four and a half months that's a pretty quick
19:42 - 19:50
run for a cheese quiz isn't it hang on is this this is the christmas cheese board isn't it it's not a separate cheese board
19:50 - 19:54
this is the second annual christmas yes yes good good it's me and
19:54 - 20:09
Owensy's combined cheese board. And the reason the cheese strings were there is because if people remember from our Christmas, there were a lot of kids there and they don't care about Caerphilly or Brie.
20:09 - 20:10
They want cheese strings.
20:10 - 20:18
Okay, well, coming up later in the episode, it's They're Just Normal Country's Redux. Stay tuned for that. And now...
20:18 - 20:20
Max, I have a question for you.
20:20 - 20:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:21 - 20:29
It's a simple question and it may lead to other questions but it's what time did you wake up at yesterday
20:29 - 20:37
5 15 a.m everybody welcome to the day willie Rushden is awake he's not excited about the day as it transpires he's
20:37 - 20:46
not a hundred percent got a bit of a cough so he spends the hour pointing at things and moaning he's not really saying a lot he's just going uh
20:46 - 20:51
is he being a bit dramatic do you say that to him Willie, come on.
20:51 - 21:01
If you are at a scene where there's lots of things and he's pointing and going it's very hard to discern which thing he wants normally it's like the sharpest knife
21:01 - 21:16
normally it's the angle grinder or the crossbow and you're like oh you can't really have that anyway we're in his bedroom because he's got a cough we've jamie got the dehumidifier to work the eucalyptus it sprays it because it goes eucalyptus
21:16 - 21:25
and so the room smells like eucalyptus which is you know it's a bit of football dressing room but it's not quite deep heat but he realizes the dehumidifier
21:25 - 21:33
you can open the top of it and there's water in it so now he's putting blocks in there but it's keeping him busy so i'm like i'm holding it so it doesn't totally spill
21:33 - 21:43
the floor is quite wet and then i don't have a towel i have a blanket which just sort of pushes the water around the floor but it's doing the job of a towel in my mind
21:43 - 21:57
maybe you could play him some high performance instagram reels you know what i mean okay yeah something like up until 80 years ago no one had ever had a hot shower how does that make you feel well you're actually we're so lucky to be living
21:57 - 22:00
in this time in this beautiful world
22:00 - 22:08
if he picks up a block and he doesn't put it in the dehumidifier I say, it's good to fail. That's the only way we learn is failure.
22:08 - 22:12
Will he be notorious? He's trying to be notorious.
22:12 - 22:23
He is. He wants some porridge. I make him porridge. Ian's up at 5.50. Not too bad. Jamie emerges. I go back to bed until 20 past six. So I get a little sort of 25 minutes.
22:23 - 22:37
Ian comes in. Willie comes in. The lights go on. So that's the end of my nap. I was hoping for longer, if I'm honest. But you've got to tell you what you can get in this world. We're doing some puzzles. We're doing the Mr. Chicken puzzle. Now we've lost a piece of the Mr. Chicken puzzle.
22:37 - 22:47
We've lost a bit of the tomato. And that, Ian doesn't care, but I care because the completed puzzle is not complete anymore because of the tomato, missing tomato piece.
22:48 - 22:51
Yeah, how do you think it could have gone? Like, where do you think it could have gone?
22:51 - 23:03
It could be at the cafe little local because we did it there. And I'm not sure how we sort of packed it away in a hurry. It could be in the car. You don't have Find My on puzzle pieces. It's not connected to Bluetooth.
23:03 - 23:08
the tomato from if anyone has a spare tomato it's at the bottom it's an edge piece
23:08 - 23:13
oh it's an edge piece presumably this is from mr chicken goes to australia
23:13 - 23:17
and it is from the town big tomato is there a town called big tomato
23:18 - 23:22
so okay fine if any of the listeners this is how we do swapsies
23:22 - 23:26
could be an apple but i think it's a tomato
23:26 - 23:32
if anyone's got a spare tomato from the mr chicken goes to australia jigsaw get in touch with the podcast
23:32 - 23:39
yes what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com everyone's dressed i mean that took another hour we have a new babysitter she's
23:39 - 23:50
great so we leave willie with her he's coughing a bit but he's okay we take ian to the tram stop we're getting the tram to kinder he's on his balance by
23:50 - 23:51
interruption
23:51 - 23:58
is she the babysitter who said she wasn't in the correct mental headspace to look after your children.
23:58 - 24:06
She's also not the one, did I tell you this, who came over to see if she was a good fit. She wanted to charge a lot of money. We said, we don't really want to pay that much money.
24:07 - 24:19
So then she offered her reflections of our children and then said, let's find the ease in this. And then we didn't reply. So then she said, would you like to buy a Thermomix? Did I tell you about that one?
24:19 - 24:27
Not that one. That was crazy. You are looking in the wrong places for these people. But it's good to know that there's a nice new one.
24:27 - 24:33
She doesn't want to sell us a Thermomix or any kitchen products. She just wants to look after our children.
24:33 - 24:35
Hang on. A Thermomix, is that just like a Magi Mix?
24:35 - 24:45
I don't know. I don't want a Thermomix. I just, if I say, or if I go on a Facebook page for nannies in Melbourne, I'm looking for a nanny in Melbourne, right?
24:46 - 24:58
I thought that was the giveaway. little did i know that i was opening up a world of kitchen appliances okay so we're at the tram stop we get the tram we are walking into kinder and we realize
24:58 - 25:10
that we brackets i have left his bag at the tram stop so then i go okay i'll get back on the tram and go back it's only about five stops i go back on the tram stop and the bag is there so then i
25:10 - 25:22
go home and get on the bike and cycle the bag to the cafe to see jamie and while i've been away the next tram driver to come along has found a phone number on the bag has rung jamie to say
25:22 - 25:31
the bag's here so how nice is that jamie's excited because she's now texting a tram driver how are the trams
25:31 - 25:45
can you send me some photos of your tram is it a very clean tram yeah and it's good for ian as well because he'd done a 3 000 word essay on the life and times of charles darwin added to that bag
25:45 - 25:51
now jamie sent her coffee back because it was full but they like us there so that
25:51 - 26:01
was fine but that's like an interesting point for the coffee because we've kind of been quiet on the coffee chat i'm fretting because whenever i get a new babysitter like there's just a little part of
26:01 - 26:11
my brain that thinks they're actually going to abduct my child and so even though she's lovely and she's already been over i'm like well what if she's abducted willie and so i can't really enjoy
26:11 - 26:21
my coffee so anyway we have our coffee and jamie says stop being ridiculous i cycle home and she hasn't abducted because it'd be a lot of effort yeah to do you know and she's sent us references
26:21 - 26:34
and all that stuff and so that's a relief for me there was one babysitter where i she sort of took ian to the park and then i had to like did i tell you this i just sort of like follow her from a
26:34 - 26:49
distance like a spy just to see that she was taking him to the park and then i sort of had like an extra water bottle or something to be like oh i just if you wanted this i suppose somewhere there's like it's good to care isn't it like it is good to like
26:49 - 27:00
yeah exactly it's a funny concern it would be funny if uh the same tram driver texted jamie i've just found your son and a woman that's abducted her i've got them here in my tram
27:00 - 27:13
you wouldn't get the tram would you i think you'd get a car you know but anyway jamie's off to art shout out to jen who listens to this podcaster who has commissioned Jamie to do a painting. So thank you. And she's great.
27:13 - 27:26
And that's great. It's a picture of your head. So it's, I mean, the amount of oils we've had to charge $25,000 just for the undercoat. I come home and I play with Willie. We do a lot of train sets.
27:26 - 27:29
He has some more porridge. We play some tennis.
27:29 - 27:32
So it's gone well with the Willie and the new.
27:32 - 27:33
Yeah, they're having a great time.
27:33 - 27:38
They're having a great time. And has he perked up at all? Because I was worried about him this morning.
27:38 - 27:51
He's okay. He eats a lot of sand in this period. I don't know if that's good. And it's covered in sand, so I give him a bath. And then I put him down for a nap, and I go and sit in a little sun trap in the garden, and it's lovely.
27:52 - 28:00
I'm just sitting there going, this is nice. It's like three days since we got beaten 4-0, 6-0 rather, by old Scotch seniors.
28:01 - 28:08
And my hips are absolutely fucked, and I'm really thinking maybe I should join the over 45s because I just, it's hard, this.
28:09 - 28:11
So the over 45s is a different league, is it?
28:11 - 28:25
Hopefully it's a slower one that when I eventually join it. There's a bit of pride going, I'm playing all age and this is good, but I can't actually do anything on the pitch. When you play someone good, I can't do anything. And then I just can't move for a week.
28:25 - 28:28
Six nil. What about Cahill Freeman from Mayo?
28:28 - 28:32
Yeah, he couldn't play this game because he was coaching a GAA team over here.
28:33 - 28:47
And that was an issue. But we were only one nil down at halftime. The trouble is then we're all so old, we seize up. So 1-0 down at halftime, and then we're 4-0 down after like three minutes in the second half because we need exercise bucks. We don't have 14 of those on the touchline.
28:47 - 28:56
This is the problem, and you've mentioned it now. All of your future opponents who all listen to this podcast will know you just have to rope-a-dope you guys.
28:56 - 29:10
You spend the whole first half just these long sweeping passes with all of you like the kind of Arsenal team of the 1920s just running in a group of 10 players around the pitch. And then part two, sting like a bee.
29:10 - 29:21
Anyway, Jamie's home. I go to Kmart to buy some kids waterproofs, a new bath toy because our little coffee machine for the kids is moldy, and some undies.
29:21 - 29:25
And I can't find anything. I just find the undies. And he gets some Hot Wheel pants.
29:25 - 29:36
For Ian, I go to a cafe, get some avoc toast and a coffee, and I do an online cold shop because Jamie's going away for a week and I'm shitting myself.
29:37 - 29:43
So I buy literally everything I possibly can think of to fill the house with food that children might eat. Yeah, I know.
29:43 - 29:46
It's going to be you for a week with...
29:46 - 29:47
Yeah. Yeah.
29:47 - 29:49
Oh my... Do you want me to come over?
29:49 - 29:53
Yeah. Like, yes, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:53 - 29:56
I'll check. I'll see how flights through the Gulf are going at the moment.
29:56 - 30:00
Yeah, please do. I fixed the dishwasher. This is good stuff.
30:00 - 30:05
The twizzly, roundy bit at the bottom. has fallen off and i stick it back on
30:05 - 30:09
so hang on it's a twizzly randy bit where you put the salt
30:09 - 30:11
no no it's the the blade
30:11 - 30:13
the propeller we'll call it
30:13 - 30:16
the propeller blade had it jammed with gunk
30:16 - 30:19
oh is the mr chicken jigsaw piece in there
30:19 - 30:27
no no that would have been a lovely ending it was a bit more technical than i than the vibe that you're giving me credit for i would say
30:27 - 30:29
did you use a youtube clip?
30:29 - 30:30
I just freestyle
30:30 - 30:36
so that was pretty that was a good bit of the day then i cooked a vegetarian laxer from a box
30:36 - 30:38
you happy with that
30:38 - 30:46
it had miso paste i don't really like miso paste but i thought i've got to follow it and actually by the time we get to eat it was tasty
30:46 - 30:53
i'll make just a very basic observation here a lot of the time in recipes you don't necessarily love all of the ingredients
30:53 - 30:57
yeah because fish sauce is disgusting to drink
30:57 - 31:00
exactly exactly even in a smoothie it is awful
31:00 - 31:03
even the name of it is like nah
31:03 - 31:06
it sounds like the autocum of the sea world
31:06 - 31:17
i think it is i think it is so i do the bins the laundry i'm really i'm getting through a lot of stuff dishwasher everything then it's three o'clock and i'm
31:17 - 31:26
going to bed for an hour willie isn't well uh he's getting worse he's falling asleep you don't need to fall asleep at four because then they're not going to sleep through the night
31:26 - 31:27
has he been drinking
31:27 - 31:42
he's shit-faced yeah he's had a lot of he's had three pints of skull and anyway he doesn't want to pet the cat he doesn't want to go in the red swing a train beeps his horn and he bursts into tears like he's really on edge this guy
31:43 - 31:53
he's really sad he's got this raspy cough like he's had about 40 b and h maybe that's what the babysitter gave him in which case you know we didn't say don't do that but like you have to
31:53 - 32:01
presume some things ian comes back from kinder we do the mr chicken puzzle again we've lost another piece we've lost one of the mr chickens
32:01 - 32:05
the mr chicken next to the big galah we don't know where that can be
32:05 - 32:11
shit are other mr chicken puzzles available does he go to other places he goes to other places in books
32:11 - 32:17
we don't think there's any other puzzles so we need that mr eventually we'll have lost more pieces than we have
32:18 - 32:21
then is it really a puzzle i guess is the question
32:21 - 32:35
but it still has its form you can still see what it is but yeah we we could do with that it's 6 20 will he's awake we don't need that i settle him it doesn't work i push back my podcasting recording by 10 minutes i eat some bullets then i say to jamie i gotta do
32:35 - 32:40
this podcast i'm recording what did you do yesterday with david o'doherty
32:40 - 32:49
oh yeah i've heard about this one yeah just what is it they make people just go through everything they're going to do tomorrow is that what it is their plans
32:49 - 32:57
basically what it is and it was we had to do some intros that we'd forgotten to do and then we did what did you do yesterday with ben elton
32:57 - 33:03
which is out soon national treasure i really enjoyed it there's a couple of bits
33:03 - 33:11
really tremendous yeah it's 8 45 i go inside i sit on the sofa i eat four more bullets i close my eyes for 15 minutes
33:11 - 33:24
sorry okay because you mentioned this when you push the podcast time back yesterday and you said i'm eating bullets and i thought that was a metaphorical thing as in i'm really struggling here
33:24 - 33:36
oh i thought like eating bullets is like rappers when they're really spitting out great rhymes is they're eating bullets no i was eating bullets little liquorice chocolates
33:36 - 33:47
so i thought it was like i'm really being pounded here by the difficulty of life like sort of zombie like i'm eating the bullets yet i still continue to trudge on
33:47 - 33:53
so like i was going to respond thinking of you man you know what i mean
33:53 - 34:02
you got this bro you got this bro i'm eating bullets it kind of works doesn't it it really does oh man i'm eating bullets today
34:02 - 34:04
yeah it's perfect
34:04 - 34:14
it was so unlike me thing to say i'd just say i'm just really exhausted i'd never say ah shit's getting real i'm eating bullets
34:19 - 34:30
well from now on i will definitely say it now i've got a radio show that is starting at 10 p.m what were the fun bits of the radio show i've got craig johnston's number the man who invented
34:30 - 34:44
the predators but i'm yet to ask him to sing a line from in the air tonight in the competition as to who's a better singer out of him and linvoi primus who was listening to the show and sent me a whatsapp voice note of in the air tonight
34:44 - 34:53
do you think he regrets calling so it was the breakthrough football dude of the 90s it had sort of rubber on the side so you could bend it
34:53 - 35:03
like Beckham and he called it the predator and I do it hasn't aged well
35:04 - 35:10
although the working name was nonces and that
35:10 - 35:11
Adidas nonces?
35:11 - 35:20
it's not as bad as what they were working with at the time what was a
35:20 - 35:29
good bit of today well the big story in football world about spying where these two teams who are trying to get into the premier league in the playoffs southampton and middlesbrough it turns
35:29 - 35:40
out that one of the southampton coaching team went and hid behind a tree at middlesbrough's training ground and filmed them and then got caught and then ran away and put on some different clothes
35:40 - 35:51
but was caught and they were like what are you doing here and also it turns out well apparently he bought a coffee in the golf club next door with his own bank card and that golf club is owned by the owner of Middlesbrough.
35:51 - 36:00
So if they're guilty, it's massive cheating and they should probably get thrown out. But like, it's obviously really funny as well because spying when it's not like serious, like it's just-
36:00 - 36:01
So funny, yeah.
36:01 - 36:02
It's really fun.
36:02 - 36:10
Spying of any kind makes me think of sort of carry on movies. You know, someone with huge binoculars who's going like, ooh.
36:10 - 36:11
Yeah, exactly.
36:11 - 36:16
Trying to see into changing rooms or whatever. That's what it makes me think of.
36:16 - 36:29
So we decide to play I Spy on the radio, which is really good fun. So callers call up and they say, I spy with my life, something beginning with S. And it was a sticker book, SB sticker book. We didn't get that. It took us ages to get that.
36:29 - 36:44
And then somebody called up and prank called us. And the way he prank calls us is whatever we, he always comes on and he just yells Maria Whittaker, who was like the first ever page three girl in like, you know, the 80s,
36:45 - 36:52
like alongside Samantha Fox. It's a very niche reference, but he just goes, Maria Whittaker. and then runs off and like does make me and Charlie laugh.
36:52 - 37:00
I didn't think to ring a radio show to do that. And then it's one in the morning. And so one in the morning, I brush my teeth, go to bed.
37:00 - 37:06
Some of that radio show, it sounded like you were eating bullets. It did sound hard when that guy pranked you.
37:06 - 37:13
What's fun is the game where we play the wheel of football, where two callers come on and they say a footballer, and then we draw out the category.
37:13 - 37:24
That's who's a better singer, Linvoi Primers and Craig Johnson. And that does divide the audience because some people are just going, this is completely stupid and someone said hang on is this a quiz where the contestants give the
37:24 - 37:35
answer already and then you decide the question and then you've got this completely the wrong way around and we're like maybe maybe we have we're just trying things it's fine so anyway that was my day
37:35 - 37:46
the spying thing is interesting like i do wonder how much you would learn though from i guess you would see how they were going to set up their team is that what you would learn from the spying
37:46 - 37:56
i think so and like who's taking set pieces and it does seem like you're not gonna learn too much and they have played 46 times on telly this season like
37:56 - 38:04
you've played them twice already you don't need to spy on them and i think because like people cheat in sport all the time in lots of different ways
38:04 - 38:07
and you know financial cheating and blah blah blah because it's so like
38:07 - 38:19
it's really easy to understand man behind tree filming it's so obviously not right and it's so easy to follow that people are up in arms about it but also like some of the southampton fans did
38:19 - 38:34
dress as trees and bushes at the next game which is quite funny but they should probably get chucked out i mean i don't know what will happen but they probably should and that's quite a big issue because if you go to the premier league you get 200 million pounds
38:34 - 38:36
well i have one more question for you
38:36 - 38:37
oh yeah yeah
38:37 - 38:40
in the first year of listening to this podcast
38:40 - 38:49
eight countries only had one lesson but since that quiz started
38:49 - 38:52
six countries
38:52 - 38:54
six countries
38:54 - 38:56
had one listen
38:56 - 39:07
and since that wrapped up two more countries have had one listen
39:07 - 39:19
well that brings us to they're just normal countries redux yeah of course
39:19 - 39:19
there we go.
39:19 - 39:25
I am the one and only. What country could I be? I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be?
39:25 - 39:33
So, Northern Marianas Islands. Oh, here's a thing. On Sunday on the radio, we had Chesney Hawkes on and I got lots of texts saying, does he know about the jingle?
39:33 - 39:45
I don't know if he knows about the jingle. Northern Marianas Islands, Lesotho, Malawi, Suriname, South Sudan, Sao Tome and Principe, Liechtenstein. This is from Oli, who says, Hi DOD, MR and MB.
39:46 - 39:56
As the long march of JNC Redux continues into the bleak midwinter, I thought it about time I submitted my long gestating guests for the feature.
39:56 - 40:03
While exploring places to visit for our next trip, I came across one of those unspoiled new places to travel articles and one country on there caught my eye.
40:04 - 40:18
Dramatic mountains, deep canyons, sunny beaches and birthplace of one of my favourite football manager signings, Predrag Mijatovic. Although technically, it was Serbia and Montenegro during his playing days before they split in 2006.
40:18 - 40:33
So my guess is Montenegro. And should it be correct, it will lock in as my next holiday destination where I shall add several more What Did You Do Yesterday listens to the data. And although it seems to have fallen by the wayside, I'd also like to submit a guess for the comatose David Squires quiz.
40:33 - 40:45
I use the term quiz very loosely. Perhaps it can be resuscitated, or if not, Please, Max, for those completest among the What Did You Do Yesterday listeners, present the time of death of the feature on the pod so we can move on with our lives
40:45 - 40:56
and enjoy the In Memoriam section as it is laid to rest. I'd like to guess Rod Laver. Thanks. In it for life. See you in Dublin in September. Ollie. Oh, yes, we have a live show in Dublin on September the 2nd.
40:56 - 41:01
Max, we've forgotten to plug it again. No one's listening at this point.
41:01 - 41:15
Oh, no. Can you all come, please? We sold the first one out very quickly, so if we don't sell this one out quickly, we'll have to realize that people didn't love it as much as i thought perhaps showing a photo of a
41:15 - 41:19
clothes horse on a big screen isn't all that we thought it was.
41:19 - 41:24
Hey spoiler alert, but there's a new quiz coming soon involving this podcast.
41:24 - 41:28
tennis rackets i think we're going to open that to the field
41:28 - 41:32
it's not a quiz that's just like a thing to get involved
41:32 - 41:37
just in the similar way to the theme park remember we tried to get people said
41:38 - 41:40
what did you do yesterday theme park
41:40 - 41:45
no that's not a quiz that's not going to upset people that's just something to contribute to
41:45 - 41:48
it's a quiz not when you ask a question and would like an answer
41:48 - 41:59
there's no wrong answers to that there's not like this is the right aren't you fundamentally as someone who's criticized me in quizzes you fundamentally misunderstand what a quiz is if you say tell us something nice that
41:59 - 42:11
isn't a quiz is it if it's what's the nice thing i'm thinking of you know for example i could say to you david which sort of famous person was standing next to me at the cucumber section
42:11 - 42:15
in Piedimonte's supermarket this afternoon
42:15 - 42:18
oh wow pat cash is the answer
42:18 - 42:26
incorrect and so it begins i've drawn you in the cucumbers at Piedimonte's begins everybody
42:26 - 42:39
ah this is a really hard this is not an easy one i in fact i looked at their face i was like i definitely know that face and i couldn't recall who it was and then about two hours later it came to me who it was
42:39 - 42:44
oh my goodness so it's someone who's in a supermarket in suburban hipster melbourne okay
42:44 - 42:47
yeah in melbourne's inner north yeah
42:47 - 42:50
okay well let's bear that in mind but back to the email
42:50 - 42:55
Yes, back to the email. So, is Montenegro, producer Will, a normal country?
42:55 - 43:01
Well, I'm afraid to say, Jones, that at the time of recording, Mars Bar still hasn't sent me the answer.
43:02 - 43:05
We don't even know. This is a shambles.
43:05 - 43:10
So I think this might be the first cliffhanger of this quiz.
43:14 - 43:24
You know, we have to be honest with the listeners, we don't know. Maybe we'll have the Montenegro tease for a week. Ladies and gentlemen, forevermore, the third week in May is known as the Montenegro Tease.
43:26 - 43:33
May you enjoy the Montenegro Tease. I can confirm Rod Laver is incorrect. But thank you, Oli, for all your guesses.
43:33 - 43:46
You have brought the David Squire's quiz back to life. We've launched the Cucumber at Piedimonte's quiz, and we have the Montenegro Tease. We were worried the quizzes were dying, David. And now here we are. We've got four.
43:46 - 44:00
We've got four. This is absolutely fantastic news for everybody. So if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
44:01 - 44:10
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.
44:10 - 44:16
So if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, that is not a quiz.
44:17 - 44:28
Not a quiz, not a quiz. How have you gone this far in life? I'm thinking maybe 50 years. Because one, I know one of us is 50 and I know I'm not 50. Which one of us is 50 is an easy, that is a quiz.
44:28 - 44:29
That is a quiz.
44:29 - 44:38
Not get in touch with a story about how massive your head also is. Or have you ever seen an autocum machine? That's not a quiz. That's just.
44:38 - 44:42
Okay. Okay. Well, we're all thinking about your hips. We hope they.
44:42 - 44:47
Don't think about my hips. Think about my children because Jamie is in New York for a week.
44:47 - 44:51
So when you are recording this next week, there's just going to be chaos in the background.
44:53 - 45:04
I mean, literally, I have absolutely no idea. And it is devastating in a sense that it's not my yesterday, but it's not my yesterday. That's not how these things fall. I may not look well.
45:04 - 45:05
Yeah, okay.
45:05 - 45:06
Cheers, David.
45:06 - 45:06
Thanks, Max.