S4 EP18: Paul Williams

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Podcasts. There are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it. They all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time.

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What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? My name is Max Rushden. Alongside me today, David O'Doherty. And today's guest, one of my oldest friends,

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in comedy. In comedy. Yeah. It still makes me laugh every single time. I think because I'm ready to do a good intro and then you just... I ruin it. Yeah. When he booked Paul Williams, I thought, oh, the former Coventry centre-back from the 90s. This is interesting. I wonder what he's up to these days. But I was mistaken.

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Paul's an extraordinary... So people might know him as the Alex Horn on New Zealand Taskmaster, which among Taskmaster aficionados is one of the hipster ones. People might know him as... So he's a wonderful comedian, has done the Edinburgh Fringe, Melbourne Comedy Festival, all of these several times.

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But he also has a parallel career as an R&B artist, where he has released two of his own infectious albums.

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I don't think you say infectious in that way. I think you call them urban licks.

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People they know Paul's music from. James Acaster's various projects. He's very much championed Paul's music.

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But then we also have Paul's writing and acting. And we see the launch at the moment of New Zealand Spy, which is...

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Does look good. All we've seen is the trailer. It's got a Bond-style ski race in it.

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With a low-flying plane. Really good stuff. Good cast, Joe Thomas, Tim Key. Rose Matafeo.

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Yeah, some pod alumni. And Joe Thomas, who was meant to do it, but he didn't turn up on the right day.

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This is a lovely yesterday from... He's a man whose life has undergone large changes in recent times.

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The beautiful child is on the scene. And then you also see... What I got from it is how much you lose your mind when you're making a TV show, particularly in the editing process.

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And it's one of my all-time favourite What Did You Do Yesterday bits. This is what Paul Williams did yesterday.

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Paul Williams, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Thank you so much for having me.

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This is exciting, David, because now we're really into the low single figures of New Zealanders.

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So we can really now draw a picture of the whole of New Zealand, depending on how many cows Paul tries to tag during his yesterday.

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How many New Zealanders have you had on here so far? We've had Guy Montgomery, Rose Matafeo, Brett McKenzie, and I think Paul Williams.

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So I think that's enough. Oh, wow. Okay, I'm actually happy with that. And Richard Hadley, Dan Carter, Jacinta Ahern, Ardern, and five people who were in Shortland Street.

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Well, I played young man in Shortland Street, so add me to that list. Stop it.

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2014. And what did you have to do? I had to knock on Dr. Chris Warner's door and ask for Pete.

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And Pete didn't live there because I had the wrong house. I see. That was the scene.

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Well, why did they put that in? What's the point? How is that advancing the plot at all?

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Just that someone doesn't live there? Basically, I think the storyline was that Dr. Chris Warner had moved into a new house.

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He bought this big flash house, but he was worried. His family was worried that the neighbors were criminals.

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And so I think I was looking for Pete, who was like a shady character, maybe selling drugs.

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Got it. Whoa. I'm imagining you, big flat cap, sort of Peaky Blinders vibe to it.

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It was more like a hoodie with maybe the hood up. Yeah, cool. While we were filming it, between takes, I looked down the street and my car had rolled.

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I'd left the handbrake off and my car had rolled down the street and gone up across someone's lawn and had crashed into the front of their house.

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Hang on. Your character's car or your actual? No, this was real life. Because I was running late to the set, but the street was very flat.

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So I didn't obviously put my handbrake down. And the car had very slowly done this after I had left.

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And I was freaking out. And, you know, we did like probably 10 takes of different angles.

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And I'm looking every time and I see the owner of the house has come out and is like looking at it.

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Oh, wow. And I'm freaking out. And then when I was wrapped and free to go, I quickly went up to see the damage.

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And the car had stopped like about a foot short of hitting the house. But the owner had left a note under the windscreen wiper.

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And I pulled it out and it just said, don't park here. It's funny because they do say from an acting point of view, it was your best work.

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So now you can only act with intense jeopardy of a slow moving car moving towards a suburban house.

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I wish that was the case. My performance was shocking. Like because my main word was Pete, like asking the word Pete.

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But I was putting way too much of a T on the end. Like it's like Pete.

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I'm like Pete. Yeah, it's horrific. Which makes it sound more like you need soil.

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Yeah. From the garden. Don't think you're going to be able to see your car where it's parked on set.

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I just think those, if you put, I demand, I have to park my Datsun Cherry within view of Tony Stark's laboratory.

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It's going to be tricky, isn't it? Anyway, none of this, Paul, I'm afraid is relevant and will not make the edit.

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Well, no, that scene was filmed yesterday. No. Good stuff. Good stuff. You've worked out the workaround to all old anecdotes.

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Yeah. Now, what time did you wake up yesterday? Please, Paul. I have a question.

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The day starts when I wake up or does the day start at midnight? Very unconventional.

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When you wake up. It's when you wake up. Well, we've lost a lot of the day, I'm afraid.

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I technically woke up. Actually, I woke up twice. Bit of backstory. I have a newborn baby.

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Congratulations. And so. And commiserations. Thank you. And so I woke up technically, I went to bed extremely late.

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And that's why I was going to ask. I woke up at 7 something. And I changed his diaper. And it was a bad change.

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He, without getting into too many details, there was chaos. But I changed it. And then I took him back into the bedroom.

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Interruption. Was it chaos in the sense that you got a new one on and then that new one had to go and you were into the third?

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No, no. It was between the first, the original and the new one. But it was at a time where I didn't have the new one in my hand.

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Noted. I won't go into too much details. Your listeners don't want to hear that.

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I'm imagining the business shot across the room. Something like that. And you had to dive on it like a grenade.

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No, it would have had I not used my hand. Let's just say that. Yeah.

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Okay. Love it. So it's important, David, that we check at some point during the day if Paul has washed his hands.

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Because otherwise, it's a troublesome day if he's got to be holding that. If we're going into that detail, I'll say immediately I washed my hands.

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Okay, good stuff. Extremely thoroughly. It'd be a terrible day if Paul, because he is so celebrated and loved in New Zealand, was doing one of those ceremonies where he had to go to Cuba Street in Wellington and

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press his shitty hand into the cement for all time. Or if he'd become a member of the royal family and there was one of those walk-alongs where he had to meet the royal variety show and he had to shake the hand of every single light

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entertainment performer from the 90s through to the present day. Luckily, at 7.15 a.m. on Monday morning, I was not doing that.

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Oh, good stuff. But I took him back into the bedroom. I kind of was like, put him back to bed, but he was very clearly hungry.

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He was doing the mouth touching. So I actually did wake my wife, Simone, and I told her he's hungry.

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And so she fed him and I fell back to sleep. Did you get a Domino's?

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Did you get just some sort of pizza, something like that? Like you go on Deliveroo and see if any of the late night places are still going.

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So you end up getting bang bang noodle. Give him a pad thai. Just give him a pad thai.

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Oh, for the baby. I see. I think about me. I was very confused. No, he's currently, he's a big milk guy currently.

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Yeah. He loves the milk and he's not, I've tried, you know, floating other stuff to him, but he's not really interested.

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So milk was what we gave him. And I fell straight back to sleep. Maybe I don't have any kids, but what I'm thinking is maybe if we try and move from milk soon into high performance supplements, you know, where you mix the milk just so he can

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start working on his way protein. Just way protein. No, he's on the juice. He's, he's roiding up already, but I don't consider that food.

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I go back to sleep and I sleep till about 1140. Oh, wow. Max. That is furious.

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I have a four and a one year old and that's amazing. Just like many congratulations to you.

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Did it, when you woke up, did it feel like sort of Nirvana? Well, we've been kind of doing a system where I stay up incredibly late and then I sleep and incredibly late.

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Fine. So that's kind of our system. It didn't feel like Nirvana because it's just kind of what we've been doing every day.

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Yeah. Yeah. But I am sorry. I am sorry. No, no, no. Don't apologize. It wasn't supposed to be a brag.

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No, no, no. Like just whatever, whatever works. There's your baby. He's benching. He's already like just doing his squat thrust.

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He's had his third hair transplant already. And do you wake up with the third of a shitty nappy hitting the top of your head and a lady shouting, get up?

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No, not at all. She's been very generous with letting me sleep in the morning.

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And I woke up just sort of naturally, I think. Or I can't actually remember.

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I either woke up naturally or someone gave me a hatch. This is not sponsored, but it's a alarm clock that plays sounds like most alarm clocks do.

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Yeah. But it also does slow sunrise light and you can choose the color. Nice.

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And I have it set to a sort of nice natural sort of sunrise color.

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And then it plays this street singers in Paris singing this sort of song. And that's my wake up.

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But I can't remember if it was that or if I just woke up. But it was one of the two.

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Presumably it's Jo La Taxi, Vanessa Paradis. That can be the only song. I do not know the song and I have not managed to figure out what the song is.

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The loop is quite short, though. So it does only play it for about 20 seconds and then it sort of starts up again.

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Max, who do we have on this recently that goes to sleep with the sound of galloping horses getting closer to them, which to me is a terrifying prospect.

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Did we have Frankie Dutori on? I don't recall. The Leicester Bigot? I don't know.

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Horses never quite arrive. But yeah, I guess the street sound of Paris would, it's as good as any.

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Well, you know, I come from the streets. So I need, of course, I need the sounds of the streets to wake me up.

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You come from Shortland Street. When people say the streets, they mean a French barber's shop.

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Yeah. That's the general vibe. 11.40 is a strange time to wake up, isn't it? Because it's sort of lunchtime.

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I don't know. Like, even if you haven't had like 15 hours sleep, it doesn't feel like the crack of dawn.

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You know, once you're there, you're like, okay, it's sort of a discombobulating time to wake.

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It is. Yeah. What did I do? At this point as well, I should point out, I wasn't aware I was doing the podcast today.

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When David messaged me, he actually said, I think he said next Tuesday. And in my mind, I'm always confused over whether that's like the next Tuesday or it's not the coming Tuesday, but the next Tuesday.

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And in my head, I decided it was the next one. But then very quickly at 12 something, I think I did message David to say, is this tomorrow or next Tuesday?

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And then you hired a Formula One car and just began having this at a speedboat.

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I went straight to Las Vegas. With The Rock. With The Rock. My good friend, The Rock.

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Okay, what did I do first? I mean, the first thing is always sort of to go and see the baby's fine.

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So I kind of located the baby. And I should point out, you haven't even asked location.

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We stayed the night at my mom's house. And so I go out, I find my baby is being held by my mom.

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Yeah. And Simone is nearby talking to her. She's sitting on the computer. She tells me that she managed to fix my mom's printer, which I'd been trying to do the night before.

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Oh, wow. Was it a paper jam? It was not. Drivers needed new drivers. I decided it was done.

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After an hour, I said, I think you just need a new printer. Simone said she just changed the other colors.

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And I was saying it shouldn't matter because we're only trying to print in black.

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But she changed the other colors. And I think it just worked fine. Great. My father, a very learned man, is just baffled by his printer.

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He likes to print out Sudokus. And they're the devilishly hard ones or whatever. But rather than just accept that black and white is good enough, he just goes down to the guy he knows in the village and gets these original printer cartridges.

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So they print out in magenta and they're like 48 euros for 12 sheets or something. But that's just the way my dad just goes.

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That's how much printing costs, baby. I've tried to convince my mom to ask for sort of things.

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At the moment, she's signing a lot of documents. And they always offer her to do e-signatures.

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But she's always like, no, no, no. We will be printing all of these, signing them by hand, scanning them back on.

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And I'm like, I need to show you how to do like an e-sign. Yeah.

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The thing about DocuSign, I mean, obviously, give me any form to sign. I'm not reading it, whatever the hell it is.

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Fair. DocuSign especially, I am like clicking through that as quickly as I humanly possibly can.

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I have no idea who owns this house or who's getting all the money that I might earn.

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I'm just, I want to sign it very quickly. I think printing, I've found it a very valuable resource of getting to know your neighbors.

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So in London for about a decade, I lived next door to the celebrated photographer, Martin Parr.

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I told this story, David. Yes. You've told all your stories. May he rest in peace, passed away recently.

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I have told him all my stories, but I just used his printing. He had a great, because he used to, they used to print, had massive printers.

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Yeah. He wasn't in a lot, but like in his office. And then now I get Frank and Janet over the road to do the printing.

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So I, as you know, I am an amateur detective and Paul's getting his mom to sign stuff.

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That says to me, he may be trying to knock her off today at some point.

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You know what I mean? He's redone the will, that sort of a thing. So we'll try and keep an eye on that over the course of the day.

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I, I'm not going to deny it, but in reality, my dad passed away very suddenly and extremely tragically.

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Oh yeah. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made that joke. That's really. No, no, no.

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It's okay. But just to say, not yesterday, right? No, no, no, no. So I can't, I can't talk about it.

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I can't. No, but it's very good of you to come on the podcast that day.

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Oh God. Do not cut this out, but it wasn't. Okay. What was the, sorry.

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What was the question going to be? So you go out to the garden, you've got a huge saucepan in your hand and you try to get your mom, knock her off.

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No, my mom's, it's actually like an apartment. So there's no garden, but then I suggest, what do we do?

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I think I might have the first shower. I have a shower and then Simone has a shower.

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And then your mom has a shower? She has woken up probably at the crack of dawn.

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She's already gone for a swim in the ocean and then had a shower. Yeah.

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So she's, um, my brother always uses the word tenacious with my mom. She's extremely tenacious.

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And by the way, it's starting to get chilly in New Zealand. So the fact she's still swimming in the ocean is like impressive.

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Very New Zealand. It's class. She probably like ran up a mountain and gathered like a basket of apples as well.

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Just real proper New Zealand stuff. No, she's been out and she's hunted for her breakfast and she's killed a boar, a wild boar.

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She killed Crackle from Snap, Crackle and Pop. And she's now slow roasting a minute of it.

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So then I sit down, I get on my laptop and I watch the highlights of, uh, well, David in a message reminded me, Arsenal played Manchester City.

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It's a big game. It's a big game. It's a big game. And I say, don't spoil.

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I need to. So I watched just the extended highlights of that. See that result.

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And then Simone's finished her shower. I suggest we go for a walk. Interruption. Yeah.

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I watched that game. I went to the Arsenal bar in Melbourne, like where all the supporters gather.

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Even though I technically support Arsenal's great rivals, Tottenham Hotspur. And I did. I felt like, you know, people who get a ticket to the Champions League final, but have to sit in the ultras section and pretend that they're really, really into Juventus.

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I felt a bit like that with my shirt zipped up the whole time. David, that was a 1.30 a.m. kickoff for you.

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Yes. That is silly. And I have to watch this stuff professionally and I'm not doing that.

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He, to be as critical of him as well, he stayed up really late. He was probably working on his beats and his sweet music.

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Well, you'll never know because it was technically the day before yesterday, according to your logic.

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Okay. Oh man, the stuff I was doing between 12 and 4 a.m. Because you would not believe the adventures I got up to.

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All right. So we're going for a nice walk. The family are going for a walk.

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Yes. We're going to take the baby for a walk. We say goodbye to my mom.

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She walks out onto the balcony and she says, take me with you, which made me quite sad.

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Then we decide to leave the pram in the car and carry him on me, like strapped.

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Advice. I hope you've pulled up the handbrake in the car. I hope the story from the start of this, especially with the child, literally a baby on board, you've started using the brakes on that car.

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This is a different car and it actually, this is an automatic and it has, you know, you kind of put it into park, which is almost a handbrake.

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And then there's a foot handbrake, which I put on as well, but I have learned.

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Great. But we're walking sort of, this is an Auckland suburb called Kohimarama and it's a beach.

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And so we're walking along sort of a beach, just to paint a picture for the viewers at home, walking along kind of next to a beach.

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And we do have an interaction with a girl and a woman, presumably a mom, the girl comments on the feet of the baby and says like something along the lines of, oh, look, the feet are so cute or her feet are so cute.

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The baby's a boy. Yeah. But he's wearing a yellow cardigan, which I think maybe these people have seen as being a girl.

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And so then the mom says, or presumably the mom, actually, I shouldn't be making presumptions here.

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The woman says, oh, she looks at his face and she says, oh, I hope she grows up to look like her dad.

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Right. That's a lot to unpack, isn't it? Yes. We laugh and we say goodbye and we carry on walking.

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And then Simone kind of says, what does she mean by that? What does she mean by that?

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So we talk about it for a couple of minutes and Simone's offended. Yeah. Yeah.

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I'm trying to figure out what she meant. I'm saying I think she was doing a joke because I haven't had a haircut since 2025 and I have a scruffy face.

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I think she's doing a joke that because in her mind, it's a baby girl.

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Well, her growing up to look like sort of a hairy man, that might be a joke.

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That's such a curve. It's such a risky. Just say lovely baby, lovely day and walk on.

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But this is a difficult question, though. Is, would you describe Simone as a beautiful lady or like offensively disastrous to look?

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I would say not only a beautiful lady, the most beautiful lady. Yeah. And it reminds me of an episode of Married at First Sight Australia, right?

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Which is absolutely fucking terrible. But like one of those things where you can't stop watching.

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And there's a, they all, you know, like 10 people, couples marry and they've never met.

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The flaw with the program is they don't have to stay married for 25 years. They can decide after a few weeks whether to stay together or not.

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But there's a bit in the episode where they say, if you're the guy, rank all the girls prettiest to least pretty.

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And obviously you put your wife at the top, whatever happens. But there's always one guy who goes, I don't think you're about seventh, Samantha.

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You know, that's fine for me. And you're like, oh, mate, I really, that's not the right play here with this one.

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But you did the right answer there. Yeah, yeah. Well, she'll probably listen. But also I would have said it regardless.

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Yeah. Of course. Of course. Does it throw her game off slightly, though, having been absolutely slapped down by strangers?

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She's rattled. I can see she's rattled. We've walked for about two minutes and I actually say, should I go back and ask?

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Because I don't want you thinking about this for the rest of your life. Because, you know, when people do say things like that, I think when it's about like your face or something, you know, someone will say just something offhand about your nose or something.

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Yeah. And then at least I can only speak for myself, but I will never forget that.

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And I will think about it at least once a month, probably. Do you know what it reminds me of?

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Imagine you and your podcast partner had made a video recently to publicize a live show and 60% of the I'd say 45 comments underneath were on the enormous size of my head.

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Which is why David is now sitting really far back. He's 35 feet away from the camera for this recording.

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And he's wearing a gigantic hat that's like, he's doing the Lord of the Rings trick where everything around him is like comically big to make him seem like it.

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I'm wearing a big suit like David Byrne and stop making sense to make my head look a bit smaller.

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Yeah. Okay. So we're walking along the beach. You decide not to seek clarification from this past.

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No, no. Simon says, no, don't worry. Don't worry. That'd be mad. That'd be very Curb Your Enthusiasm episode to go back.

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It's been probably two minutes at this point of us just trying to figure it out.

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But then we get to sort of the cafe and Simon buys a sandwich. I buy some ice cream.

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I get two scoops and a cup. This is your first meal of the day.

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Yeah. This guy, Max, he wakes up at 1140. No one's been allowed to have a shower.

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He's just said the night before, look, just make sure no one's in the shower when I wake up.

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And then he comes out of the shower with the towel on and he just goes, ice cream, and points at the front door.

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That's what I've taken from this day so far. I mean, pretty much. But I did actually eat, I reckon, a handful of grapes at the house.

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Green grapes. Maybe, probably, by a handful, I mean probably six grapes. Six grapes. Before leaving the house.

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Yeah. We'll add that to the, we have a spreadsheet for all the grape consumption.

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Okay. For all the guests. And we'll let you know where you are on the league table at the end of the episode.

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Okay, good. How many grapes would you say is in wine? You know the way like you'll see, like fancy orange juice will say, made with 12 whole oranges.

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But you never see on a bottle of wine, made with a thousand grapes. Hmm.

26:01 - 26:07

Yeah. Wine is, it's all grapes, right? Like, is it all grape juice or do they like mix it with water?

26:07 - 26:14

I think you might. I think you put sugar in sometimes. I tell you what, Sommelier's Weekly is shitting it now.

26:14 - 26:24

This sort of expertise. Wine is all grapes. It's mostly grapes. Surely mostly grapes. Otherwise we've all been gaslit for a long time.

26:24 - 26:29

Sorry, just one more point on this. It is interesting how wine doesn't taste like grapes.

26:32 - 26:42

I realise that's one of the blandest things I've ever said. I had once had a hash cookie in Perpignan and that was the sort of conversation we were having in 1999, David.

26:44 - 26:49

I think it's a good point. Okay, so you've had your six grapes and now we're on to the ice cream, Paul.

26:49 - 26:58

I go for a tiramisu flavour. I'm not also getting a tiramisu. Tiramisu in the second flavour was peanut butter caramel.

26:59 - 27:04

But specifically a brand of peanut butter, Pix peanut butter, that is from my hometown, Nelson.

27:04 - 27:10

Available in the UK now. Yeah, it's good. It's up there with Manny Life on your top peanut butters, I would suggest.

27:10 - 27:15

Okay, wow. He was our neighbour in Nelson when I was a kid. So that's just to show how small New Zealand is.

27:16 - 27:26

What other products are from Nelson, Paul? That if listeners really want to engage with you as a person, what other things should they consume?

27:26 - 27:34

It might not be available outside of New Zealand but they're called Proper Crisps and they're potato chips.

27:34 - 27:45

Okay. But they're everywhere in New Zealand. They're from there. Then there is the World of Wearable Arts which is a show where people wear wearable art.

27:45 - 27:50

What? That's from Nelson. What do you mean wearable art? It's like a t-shirt with a picture on it.

27:50 - 27:57

No, you wear a Picasso canvas. If you show up in a t-shirt with a picture on it, David, you are getting laughed out.

27:57 - 28:04

They wouldn't even let you in there. It's like, yeah, people just wearing big sort of, it's hard to describe really.

28:04 - 28:11

It's all kinds of things but big, crazy. Is it a TV show? Sorry, I just don't understand what genre this is.

28:11 - 28:15

It was a live spectacle. I'd put it in the genre of live spectacle. Yeah.

28:15 - 28:19

But yeah, it started in Nelson. It was big when I was a kid, huge.

28:19 - 28:23

And then eventually it got so big that they moved it to Wellington. But we had the museum still.

28:24 - 28:33

Would I have skydived in Nelson in 1998? Very likely. Very likely. Feels like it was there or Taupo.

28:33 - 28:38

That's one of the two. Yeah, probably more likely to not be Nelson if those are the two nominees.

28:39 - 28:46

Okay, they were the two nominees. But you could do it in Nelson. But if those are your two nominees, I would put Nelson probably second on that ladder.

28:46 - 28:53

The funny thing is, as he was coming down, he'd misjudged the timing, Paul. And there was just a man walking on the street.

28:53 - 29:01

And Max just, with the parachute open, grabbed him and had his arms under the other man's arms.

29:01 - 29:06

But his hands weren't fully clasped behind his neck. And that's where the term half Nelson comes from.

29:06 - 29:18

Wow. That's true. Yeah. Okay. I'm on fire today. This is good stuff. So we walk out.

29:18 - 29:21

It starts raining. Oh, wow. It does start raining, even though it had kind of been sunny.

29:21 - 29:28

It was kind of like a semi-sun shower situation. So we sit down under the roof and eat.

29:28 - 29:35

And we notice there's two cars with personalized plates. So we talk about them. Oh, wow.

29:35 - 29:44

One says, ride me is the number plate with eight. Wow. I don't remember for sure, but I think the E's are threes.

29:44 - 29:55

But ride me is one. That's a punchy number plate, isn't it? Yeah, but like you guys know in Ireland, like riding is a juvenile term for having sex with someone.

29:55 - 30:04

Yeah, I think it is. If you ride, et cetera. So it does imply this is a car that wants to be whatever the car version of raw dog is.

30:08 - 30:20

Hard to say. Good if the person who got that was like a real Casanova back in sort of the 60s and was now 85, but still had a car that said, ride me as his number plate.

30:21 - 30:25

It was quite a sort of boy race. I don't know if you, is boy racer a universal thing?

30:25 - 30:29

Yeah, yeah. It was a very boy racer sort of style car, you know, with a kind of a spoiler.

30:29 - 30:35

And then next to it was a very similar car, different color, but the number plate was R.I.P.

30:35 - 30:45

Ego. Also very cool. So, I mean, I guess ride me could just be like the person needs very basic instructions.

30:46 - 30:51

So like when they approach the car, they see the car again, they go, that's what I need to do.

30:51 - 30:57

It's like memento. Yeah, yeah. They walk out and they're like, that's right. Like every day they need that reminder.

30:58 - 31:06

And R.I.P. Ego is someone who was presumably maybe like a manosphere TikToker and has become humble.

31:06 - 31:11

And that is a way to remind them to leave their ego outside of the car.

31:12 - 31:22

Wow. What do you think? Or it's. I like that. Yeah, ride me is like a 2003 Toyota Starlet and it's just an old lady and she's never really thought about it.

31:24 - 31:29

It's just a fluke that that's like, it's not even personalized. It was just R.I.P.

31:30 - 31:37

People are always beeping their horns at her as she passes. She just thinks they like a 2003 Toyota Starlet.

31:37 - 31:43

Yeah. I wonder if anyone has ever like fluked into a number plate that does say something.

31:43 - 31:53

Oh, I'd say so. Because it's not a thing in Ireland. Because in Ireland, your number plate is first three digits are the year of the car.

31:54 - 32:00

The next digit is where. They're really behind in Ireland. And so they're only up to like 900 AD.

32:00 - 32:08

So you can have three. Thank you. Three years. Very modern country. And so what I'm saying is it's impossible to get a personalized number plate.

32:09 - 32:17

I guess you might be able to buy like 2026D1000 or something if your car was a Ferrari 1000.

32:18 - 32:26

I know someone who her dad bought the number plate for her mom and English was a second language.

32:27 - 32:36

And he bought one. You know how you can buy them personalized and it will sometimes have like, you know, you could have like a sports team written across the top above or like, you know,

32:36 - 32:43

you could have like theming. Wow. And the theming was I Heart Teddy Bear. And it had a teddy bear and some building blocks next to it.

32:44 - 32:55

And then her name was Violet, the mom who he was buying it for. But how he wrote it was V-I-O-L-V-I-L-E-L-E-8.

32:56 - 33:04

Yeah. Oh, no. It's spelled Violet. And anyway, so it said I Heart Teddy Bears Violet.

33:04 - 33:10

And she inherited the car. So she was just driving this car. And I remember when I first saw it, I was flabbergasted.

33:12 - 33:18

And actually, my first thought when I see R.I.P. Ego is there's a New Zealand comedian, Paul Ego.

33:18 - 33:25

And so my first thought is we need a commemorative plate. Well, I need to check in on Paul Ego and make sure it's still around.

33:26 - 33:32

You think it's just a fan? He's a big fan. But when Bowie left, as I changed my number plate to R.I.P.

33:32 - 33:37

Bowie, because I wanted people to know. That's a nice touch. He would have loved that.

33:38 - 33:44

Or it's a commemorative plate of the beloved Australia, New Zealand chocolate bar, the Cherry Ripe.

33:44 - 33:49

Right. So it's like, ripe. Go. Like, go and get a ripe.

33:49 - 33:57

Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then what? We walk back. Nothing noteworthy, really. Great.

33:57 - 34:05

I can't even recall the conversation on the way back. Oh, Paul. We talked a little bit about stage names because I pointed out that Paul Ego isn't his real name.

34:06 - 34:15

Man, real lull in the day here. We drive. We drive. Yeah. And I drop Simone at her parents' house and the baby.

34:15 - 34:21

Okay. And I then have to drive to an office. I drive to an office.

34:21 - 34:29

On the drive, I'm listening to a podcast. Oh, yeah. I'm listening to, it's a rival podcast, so I shouldn't even say the name on this podcast.

34:29 - 34:32

You can say the name. It's okay. We'll tell you what we think of it, though.

34:32 - 34:37

It was a movie podcast called, it's called What Went Wrong. Oh. I listen to it quite a lot.

34:38 - 34:43

It's a fun podcast. They talk about just the production of a movie. It's not a rival one.

34:43 - 34:49

Like, not all podcasts are rivals to this one. No, I hate those fuckers. Yeah, good.

34:50 - 35:01

Good. I think you should be rivals. Like, if I listen to the NPR Daily News podcast, I'm not like, oh, rolling my eyes the whole time.

35:01 - 35:06

You know, oh, just get off the ones and zeros. It's time for more yesterdays.

35:07 - 35:12

Although it is a similar podcast in a way, because they are talking about what the world did yesterday.

35:12 - 35:16

Thank you. That is true. All right. So what happens in there? Is it a good ep?

35:16 - 35:22

What movie are we talking about? It's The African Queen, which I haven't seen. Old sort of film.

35:22 - 35:27

That's kind of Boer War film, is it? I'm not sure. What is the Boer War?

35:27 - 35:31

You're thinking of Zulu with Michael Caine, aren't you, David? I think it's not set at the same time.

35:31 - 35:41

I'm thinking of those guys with the white hats that look like gold. There's a famous battle of Rourke's Drift where the British managed to keep hold of a hill.

35:41 - 35:46

Because they have guns, basically. It's sort of not. Michael Caine portrays it as we're the heroes.

35:46 - 35:53

But I think maybe history doesn't look kindly, you know, that kind of thing would be my understanding.

35:53 - 36:03

But I don't know what this one is about. So it's a 1951 adventure romance, which is adapted from John Huston, of course.

36:03 - 36:12

Missionaries in German East Africa in 1914. Humphrey Bogart's in it. Oh, yeah, yeah. It does feel really like a rival podcast now.

36:12 - 36:20

They're talking about this stuff. I think you guys just have now kind of become their rival by saying that tagline, because that's exactly what they say on the podcast.

36:21 - 36:28

But I listened to that. And, yeah, I wouldn't say it's the best episode. If you're going to listen to What Went Wrong, I wouldn't jump in at The African Queen.

36:28 - 36:33

Yeah. But it's an enjoyable podcast. Do they talk about What Went Wrong with these films?

36:34 - 36:39

They do, but they actually often do really good movies as well. So it's not often it's like a bomb.

36:39 - 36:46

But then more often than not, it's probably like a good movie. But that just has an interesting production story.

36:46 - 36:51

I actually listen to it. It's probably the only podcast I really listen to. Other than this one now.

36:51 - 36:56

Okay, thank you. Their rival is How Did This Get Made, presumably, which is also a good, fun podcast.

36:56 - 37:02

My wife, Jamie, listens to that a lot, where they take Con Air and they rip it to shreds.

37:02 - 37:08

And they're a very funny three. No, you can't be shouting out other podcasts, rival podcasts.

37:08 - 37:12

Yeah, sorry, sorry. It's terrible. Paul, what's the nature of this office you're going to?

37:12 - 37:21

Despite all your success, are you temping at the moment? No, this office is, it's a production company called Kevin & Co.

37:21 - 37:35

And they make Taskmaster New Zealand, which I am on. Yeah. And the reason of my trip was actually, I have a scripted spy show that is coming out in a week in New Zealand.

37:35 - 37:39

Max, it features, because all I've seen is the picture of it. I know you've been writing it for a while.

37:39 - 37:46

I saw a publicity still featuring previous guests on What Did You Do Yesterday, Rose Mattafeo, and Brett McKenzie.

37:46 - 37:53

Both in it. Oh, great. And future guest, dare I say, Joe Thomas. Joe Thomas from the Inbetweeners.

37:53 - 37:59

Yes, he's in it as well. Well, he was due to come on and he just didn't turn up because he got the wrong day.

37:59 - 38:08

Yeah, that sounds like Joe. Hang on, Paul. Is Guy Montgomery in it? Because then it would be a royal flush of guests.

38:08 - 38:15

You know what? I wrote a very main role for Guy Montgomery, and he couldn't do it because he was having a baby.

38:15 - 38:20

He was having a baby, so he couldn't do it. That's right. That's right. That's an interesting thing about New Zealand.

38:20 - 38:27

They all, Helen Clark says when you're allowed to have a baby, and everyone has a baby at the same time.

38:28 - 38:33

Exactly. But also he did say, you know, I'll come and do a small part for a day.

38:33 - 38:38

And I said, no, I'll save you if there's a season two. And you can be, maybe, I don't know.

38:38 - 38:43

So this is very exciting. Yeah, incredible. It's pretty exciting. Yeah, I think it's exciting.

38:43 - 38:51

But I'd sent a frenzied email at sort of 3 a.m. the night before. Sorry, that's before the cutoff of going to sleep.

38:51 - 38:59

But it was just about, I became worried about the fonts. And so I mainly was going into the office to sort of look at the title fonts.

38:59 - 39:03

Have they just gone Times New Roman? They haven't thought about it. They've just gone with what was.

39:03 - 39:12

And you want Proxima Nova. What font do we want here? I've gone with a sort of a, it's a mixture, actually.

39:12 - 39:20

I've gone with like Bookman for the body, Bookman J.F. or something. And then I can't remember what the capital letter at the front.

39:20 - 39:26

I've gone with a different font. Maybe a Sans Serif. Wingdings. Yeah, we knew Wingdings was coming.

39:30 - 39:36

What's the old font that was the classic comedy font of 10 years ago? Where people would be like, don't use that.

39:36 - 39:45

That's the most basic. Comic Sans. Use Comic Sans. Well, people also, they roast Avatar for having Papyrus font.

39:46 - 39:54

Which is just like, I think it looks fine. Lay off. Lay off Avatar. So when does this show come out then?

39:54 - 40:00

In New Zealand. So today is Tuesday. It comes out in New Zealand. Episode one on Wednesday.

40:00 - 40:06

Whoa! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry. Next Wednesday. You have no idea how days and weeks work.

40:07 - 40:12

You just... Not at all. You say a date and then just attribute it to a future week.

40:12 - 40:19

This is... Do you feel anxious about it or how do you feel? I feel pretty anxious, but there's been very little to no publicity.

40:19 - 40:24

So ultimately I'm like, if it is bad, I don't know if anyone's going to watch it anyway.

40:24 - 40:32

No, I think it's... Yesterday, I go up and down between thinking it's fine and thinking it's quite good.

40:33 - 40:41

So I don't think it's bad, but yesterday... Well, sorry, I'll get to that. Because that's the whole premise of the podcast.

40:41 - 40:49

So stick around if you want to hear what I thought yesterday. So coming up after these words on MailChimp.

40:50 - 40:56

MailChimp. It's a great service. If you want to know it. I don't get any money.

40:56 - 41:07

Sorry. Just... I realized that, you know, I do say a lot of rubbish on this podcast, but the Fonz would have been a very different show if it was called The Fonz.

41:08 - 41:15

Okay. And he went into the happy days, whatever that sort of bar youth club was, dressed...

41:15 - 41:23

The diner, yeah. ...as a different letter. From a different font every episode. Yeah. And so he'd go, A, because that's what he used to say.

41:23 - 41:31

So he'd always be dressed as the A of a different font. I'm just saying it's not a bad idea for a show.

41:31 - 41:41

So I'm looking forward to categorizing David's non-sequiturs on today's episode, putting that slightly above the half, Nelson.

41:42 - 41:49

At this stage, let's see where it goes. Okay. So you finish on a font and you're happy with the font and everyone's happy.

41:49 - 41:54

I actually don't look at the fonts immediately. What do I do? I talk to some people downstairs.

41:55 - 42:05

Nothing too interesting. Grab some snacks. I'm grabbing some popcorn. I'm grabbing a small box of Smarties and I'm grabbing a small fun-sized Snickers.

42:06 - 42:12

Interruption. So these are just, because it's a production company, it's the kind of place that just has free sweets everywhere, right?

42:12 - 42:17

Yeah, basically. And there's a fridge of sort of sparkling waters and... You've had a lot of sugar today.

42:17 - 42:22

I haven't eaten these yet. I've just grabbed them. Okay. Because then I decide, I say hi to a bunch of people.

42:23 - 42:36

I decide I need to eat something. So I walk to, there's a gym nearby, sort of, it's an indoor sports center and gym and pool, but it has a cafe in the reception area.

42:37 - 42:43

Papagayo is the name. And it's very healthy food. It's like for gym people. Yeah.

42:43 - 42:47

But it's the closest eatery to the office. So I go there a lot and it's very healthy.

42:47 - 42:52

How healthy are we talking? Like a hummus wrap? Yeah. I actually think it's keto.

42:53 - 42:57

I think everything is keto, which I don't know what keto is, but I know it's healthy.

42:57 - 43:01

Okay. Yeah. But it's quite nice. But you're also like, you can tell this is healthy.

43:01 - 43:08

Does it have like a taste of garden? Do you know what I mean? Like you feel like you're eating kind of soil and mulch and weeds.

43:08 - 43:13

A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get a, it's called like a power salad.

43:13 - 43:19

It's sort of like a, I get the large power salad. So it's like a kale and I don't know what else.

43:19 - 43:26

There's some nuts in there. Yeah. A sauce, some other vegetables. I get that and I get a smoothie.

43:26 - 43:39

What's in the smoothie? The smoothie is, cause they actually, it's so healthy that they have the list of smoothies up on a blackboard and they have the, like the amount of protein, the amount of whatever,

43:39 - 43:47

I don't know, a second thing, but like there's like five categories and that's all listed and they're ranked in healthiness to least healthiness.

43:47 - 43:51

And previously I've always gone for one of the top two healthy ones and they're delicious.

43:52 - 43:57

Mango blue is the most healthy. And number two is called like a vanilla green or something.

43:57 - 44:07

And those are my usuals. Today I go for the fourth. Sometimes what undermines my enjoyment of juices is juvenile names they've given to them.

44:07 - 44:20

For example, the Helen Copter came to visit me in Australia and we went to a fancy juice place and she got a green one that tastes of earth.

44:20 - 44:29

And I got one called a Choco Nana. Wow. She regards me as just an idiot boy that follows her around.

44:29 - 44:37

I have a fantastic anecdote about that, but it didn't happen yesterday. Give us the keynotes to it.

44:37 - 44:42

I walk into a juice place once and I look at their menu and I see what's the healthiest thing.

44:42 - 44:48

And it's called a, no, what's the nicest thing? I'm like, what's the most, like the least healthiest thing.

44:48 - 44:54

And it was called the early bird. And it was like, basically like a banana, cinnamon, vanilla smoothie.

44:54 - 45:00

And I get that large. I take it outside. I take one sip. It's called the early bird.

45:00 - 45:05

Key plot point. I take a sip. It is revolting. It's like burning my mouth.

45:05 - 45:15

It's like beetroot, but spicy and carrot. And it tastes revolting. And so I go back in and I'm like, I've never complained ever, but I'm like, something's up.

45:15 - 45:18

And so I just stick my head back in and I go, is this definitely the early bird?

45:18 - 45:28

And they go booty burn. And they just had two products named very similar sounding names, the early bird or the booty burn.

45:28 - 45:35

When said fast, almost indecipherable. And they just couldn't be further in terms of flavor profile.

45:36 - 45:42

Anyway, it was pretty funny. But yeah, I get the fourth smoothie on the list, which is chocolate and peanut.

45:42 - 45:47

It's like chocolate peanut butter. So what's the fifth? Is the fifth one just caster sugar?

45:48 - 45:52

Liquid caster sugar? I've not even looked at it. I couldn't tell you what the fifth one is.

45:52 - 45:58

But yeah, it must be like burgers and ice cream. Burgers and sugars. All the sugars.

45:59 - 46:10

Caster granulated, demerara, icing. Yeah. Lovely. While they're preparing it, I always go and sit on a stool and have a crack at the cryptic crossword that is sitting there.

46:10 - 46:14

Oh, wow. Fail to get one. I love a cryptic crossword, but I'm not great at them.

46:15 - 46:20

Yeah. This is me. Joe Thomas, future guest. He's good at them. Yeah. He had a book.

46:20 - 46:23

He's not good at knowing what date he is supposed to go on a podcast.

46:25 - 46:29

Is he good with a cryptic? Max will book him through the medium of cryptic crossword.

46:29 - 46:33

It's a great idea where you do all the solutions. I just can't get to it.

46:33 - 46:37

I'm a quick crossword. You know, I'm now on Squaredle, which is basically just a word search.

46:38 - 46:42

And is there part of you that's a bit sad you don't get any or you're just like, that's fine because it's a work in progress.

46:43 - 46:58

It was also more a testament to how fast she made the smoothie. Absolutely. Because the salad was kind of from the cabinet, but the smoothie she made so fast that, I mean, I'm slow at the crossword, but also I probably was looking at it for sub three minutes.

46:58 - 47:08

It's interesting that the smoothie does taste of bananas and peanut butter, yet wine does not taste of grapes.

47:08 - 47:16

Thank you. I'm returning to this, my main thesis from today's podcast. Then I walk back to the office.

47:16 - 47:22

I eat that. I eat it with Luke, one of the editors downstairs. Conversation topics.

47:23 - 47:29

What did we talk about? Hard to say. Paul, you with your late font change.

47:29 - 47:38

Surely there is what we call in the industry picture lock, where someone has had to send a copy of New Zealand Spy to the TV people.

47:38 - 47:44

So that the lawyers can look at it and make sure you aren't rude about Helen Clark in it.

47:45 - 47:50

I assume they've kind of done that, but I don't think, I don't know how rude you can be with a font.

47:53 - 47:59

So I think the picture is kind of locked, but the font is not. But also I did give notes on the font probably a month ago.

47:59 - 48:13

I was just double checking that those notes had been acted on. Do you find it difficult as someone who never complains, but you are obviously like you care about every bit of this process when you're trying to say, could you change the fonts?

48:13 - 48:16

But you're like, hi, guys, I'm really sorry about this. I hope it's not a problem.

48:16 - 48:21

I really love Helvetica. Just in case that exists on the typeface. If you could give that a go.

48:21 - 48:25

If not, no problem at all. Goodbye. That kind of vibe. That's very much me.

48:25 - 48:40

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In fairness, Paul, like Star Wars, imagine if, you know, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away comes down and they've used sort of bubble writing where every letter is like a hip, a smiling hippo's head.

48:40 - 48:44

Oh, yeah. It would have been a very different movie. It would have. Oh, for sure.

48:44 - 48:50

Yeah. Yeah. I would have walked out. If I see a font I don't like, I'm out with anything.

48:50 - 48:54

Yeah. So I'm eating lunch with Luke. I cannot tell you what we talked about.

48:55 - 49:00

Oh, yeah. Nothing interesting. It sounds like you were talking about someone in the office you don't like.

49:00 - 49:08

Yeah. That's what I've gleaned from that. No. I remember talking about some videos of a guy on Instagram who sings to celebrities.

49:08 - 49:15

Yeah. We talked about him. We talked about specifically the one where he sings to Mark Wahlberg and Mark Wahlberg is not into it.

49:15 - 49:22

He kind of ignores him for the first few seconds and eventually he stands up and Mark, sorry, not Mark Wahlberg, John Cena.

49:23 - 49:33

Apologies to Mark Wahlberg. That's fine. John Cena is wearing a cap that says respect and he stands up and he says, firstly, I think we should start with an introduction.

49:33 - 49:39

I'm John. And he shakes his hand and then he goes, what is the purpose of your singing?

49:39 - 49:44

And he goes, oh, I sing to everyone. And he goes, I'm not buying what you're selling.

49:44 - 49:53

Wow. So hang on, how is he, because obviously I wouldn't be against singing to John Cena, but how has he got to John Cena to be singing to him?

49:53 - 50:09

It looks like John is sitting in some kind of, if I had to guess, I would almost say at a hotel, like in like a cafe that's like in the lobby of a hotel, like that kind of, he's like sitting at like a, it's not a restaurant, but it's like a small table.

50:10 - 50:19

He's sitting somewhere just on his phone, sort of waiting for something. Paul, has he written a song about John Cena or is he just going up to him and then improvising a song?

50:19 - 50:26

So he usually, this guy whose name I don't know, he usually sings the person's song if it's a musician.

50:26 - 50:31

Yeah. But if it's an actor or a different type of celebrity, he'll just sing a famous song.

50:31 - 50:37

You would sing, surely, have you seen her? That would be, that would work really well for John Cena, wouldn't it?

50:37 - 50:43

I see your face at the picture show and everywhere I go, have you seen her?

50:43 - 50:49

John Cena. Yeah. Yeah, if he'd worked his name into it a bit better. Yeah.

50:50 - 50:58

I mean, it's a living, isn't it? It's a living. You go up to Desiree, you sing life, you hope she enjoys it, get on with your day.

50:58 - 51:04

The difficulty is like planning where you're going to be because like, you don't just chance upon John Cena in a lobby.

51:04 - 51:09

This guy's got to have known where people are going and that's the hard, that's the hard bit, isn't it?

51:09 - 51:14

Hang on. I'm going to ask one of my in-depth questions now, Max. I'm nervous.

51:14 - 51:26

I'm nervous at this stage. You and the editor must both be, the subtext to this chat is, I hope people like New Zealand Spy, this amazing show that you've been working on for ages.

51:27 - 51:34

Like, is that what's sort of unsaid? No, I don't think so. Well, maybe. It wasn't for me.

51:34 - 51:39

Okay. I wasn't thinking about it in that moment. I was off the clock. It was lunchtime.

51:39 - 51:50

I wasn't enjoying a power salad and a chocolate banana peanut smoothie. Okay, fine. What do we do after lunch?

51:51 - 51:56

We walk upstairs. I look at the fonts with a different editor, Ben. It's looking good.

51:57 - 52:05

Pani, another editor. She's out. I think I talked to her briefly. Then, no, I'm talking to Luke and Pani.

52:05 - 52:15

Ben comes back upstairs and he says, gonk, which is a question. Gonk is a game that we play in that office.

52:15 - 52:23

What? And have played for years. Wow. It's a fantastic sport where you stand all around the outside of the room.

52:23 - 52:29

And it's sort of this quite small oblong room. Yeah. With some computers, some editing computers.

52:29 - 52:35

And you throw gonk, which is a, it's technically a dog toy, but it's a small sort of creature.

52:35 - 52:40

We don't know what animal it's meant to be. Yeah. It's not alive. It's not alive though.

52:40 - 52:50

No, no, no, no. It's a stuffed toy with a squeak in it. And it's got a little wing flap thing, but I think it's meant to be a dog, but it's like very artistic sort of rendering of a dog.

52:50 - 52:56

Great. There was a long spell where we thought we needed to replace it because it was getting a bit old, but we couldn't.

52:56 - 53:03

We were trying to reverse image search it. We were looking in every store, you know, you can't really Google it because we didn't know what animal it was.

53:03 - 53:08

What are the rules of gonk? Stop talking about the apparatus. You throw gonk around.

53:09 - 53:15

If you do a bad throw, like a throw that's not really in the catch zone, you're out.

53:15 - 53:20

Okay. Okay. You have to catch it one handed. You can choose which hand, but you have to stick with that hand once you've chosen.

53:21 - 53:26

If you drop gonk, you're out. If you make a noise from your mouth, you're out.

53:26 - 53:32

Like if you talk, you're out. And if you squeak gonk, because it's got a squeak and it will go off.

53:32 - 53:40

So if you grab it too vigorously, you're out. And that's basically it. And there's five rounds.

53:40 - 53:50

And once you win a round, you get a life for the final, which comes then after the fifth round, there's actually a round for anyone who hasn't made the final.

53:50 - 54:04

The plate competition. Yes, but if you win basically the plate, the plate round, we'll call it, you are in the final, but you have to play with this full arm puppet of a giraffe.

54:04 - 54:10

You have to catch it with that. But you're allowed to talk if you're wearing that, but you have to do an accent.

54:10 - 54:17

Yeah, I think I've played this before. I think I've played it before. It's a demonstration sport at the next Olympics.

54:17 - 54:24

But yeah, what would you say your world ranking is? Oh, great question. I'm top three for sure.

54:24 - 54:29

Top three in the world. OK, that's excellent. Yeah, I think based on like win percentage, I'm top three for sure.

54:29 - 54:35

And also, well, is the idea to get people out or is it a friendly throwing game or can you throw with pace?

54:35 - 54:40

You can push it. You can push it. But again, if people think your throw is bad, you're out.

54:40 - 54:44

Is it just the accuracy of the throw? If a throw is too hard, you could be out.

54:45 - 54:51

Too hard, you'd be out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you absolutely players have nicknames and Pistol Pani, she's known for throwing quite hard.

54:52 - 54:58

She's the shithauser of this. Oh, I don't know if I'd say that. I think there's others who probably beat her for that.

54:59 - 55:02

But she yeah, she just has a bullet of an arm. But yeah, other nicknames.

55:03 - 55:09

There's Ben. He was Captain Gonk. I call him Reese Reesey Fingers. Josh, he played.

55:09 - 55:13

He's the man in the mirror. He just sort of does a lot of like illusions with his hands.

55:14 - 55:20

And I'm Wall Walliams. Paul Williams. I hit into the wall a lot. You bang into the wall.

55:20 - 55:25

The gonk doesn't. You can't throw the gonk off the wall. You can bounce the gonk off anything other than the ground.

55:25 - 55:29

It could squeak. Off the wall, you're usually pretty fine. Unless you throw it quite hard.

55:29 - 55:33

It's not going to squeak. Off the roof is quite a hard throw. Bounce it off a computer.

55:33 - 55:43

Josh, the other day, he was falling while catching and he actually force quit the editing software on a computer and lost some work.

55:43 - 55:50

I smell a rat because to force quit, you have to click on the Apple, go down, click on the one that's not responding.

55:50 - 55:56

He did some kind of shortcut, but he quit Premiere Pro somehow when he fell on the keyboard.

55:56 - 56:02

So the problem for me with gonk is we had a golden age of it, but a lot of the characters are gone now.

56:02 - 56:07

It's just these people who just want to win, you know? They've been media trained, haven't they?

56:07 - 56:13

Yeah. The post-match interviews are boring now. Yeah. I play quite high percentage gonk where I never want to go out for a bad throw.

56:13 - 56:18

So I don't take two, like I never try and bounce it off something that's too risky.

56:18 - 56:29

I play quite a high percentage throwing game. And then my catching strategy is I go for anything, which does mean when I go out, I often am going for one I should be leaving as a bad throw.

56:29 - 56:35

But I think it just to take out the decision making, you know, element, it's just I'm catching everything is my rule.

56:35 - 56:46

Yeah. But I don't tell, don't tell people that. So if you go for a bit like, you know, if you, if you try and hit a wide, you're less likely to get a wide in cricket than if you just let it go.

56:47 - 56:50

A hundred percent. Like if you, so if you go for the catch, it cannot be a bad throw.

56:50 - 56:56

If you slightly go for it and it's a terrible throw, you're fine. If it hits your hand, you're a hundred percent out.

56:56 - 57:03

Like if you, it's also, it's like a game of honor. So if you're out, you, you kind of just put your hand up and you say like, that's me.

57:03 - 57:09

And occasionally people won't know. And we do the signal cause no one's talking. We do the signal for replay and then it's a replay.

57:10 - 57:14

Are you allowed to talk in between points? Yes. And it starts with someone squeaking it.

57:14 - 57:18

The winner of the previous round or previous game, they start and they squeak it.

57:18 - 57:25

And then it's silence. An old strategy I haven't deployed in a while is doing sort of pratfalls to try and get laughs.

57:25 - 57:31

So you'll sort of trip over stuff. Because if you were to get a laugh, that is a mouth sound to those people.

57:31 - 57:36

Yeah, you're out. If you laugh, you're out. Yeah, yeah. I see. And one other rule, the game's always developing.

57:36 - 57:45

But one rule that I love that's come in and sort of the last probably 18 months, there's actually a second gonk that's brand new and it looks slightly different.

57:45 - 57:57

Like it's just like the color's brighter. And if you're in the final and you have multiple lives and someone throws you the fake gonk and you catch it, they steal one of your lives for the final.

57:57 - 58:03

Who is holding the fake gonk? It's sort of just lying around in the room and you can kind of pick it up without anyone.

58:04 - 58:08

Like you never really know where it's going to be. Like it's just somewhere. So here we go.

58:08 - 58:14

All right. Now it's time to look back at yesterday's gonk. With us is Wall Williams who played yesterday.

58:14 - 58:21

Talk us through the game. Oh, man, I started really rusty. First few rounds, I was just dropping sitters.

58:21 - 58:25

When you start thinking ahead at your throw before you've caught it, you get into trouble.

58:26 - 58:31

Of course. And I did it twice in the first two rounds. And I was just feeling out of it.

58:31 - 58:35

And I thought I was worried I wasn't going to make the final, which is unlike me.

58:35 - 58:40

You know, I pretty consistently will make the final with at least one life. And it came right.

58:40 - 58:46

And I made the final with two lives. And then I just finished poorly. And I just who won?

58:46 - 58:51

I lost to Luke in the final two. We sort of also when it gets to final two, you switch to your weak hand.

58:51 - 58:56

I forgot to say that. Oh, yeah. I switched my my weak hand and we were at opposite ends of the room.

58:56 - 59:01

Quite long throws. He throws some spicy throws. And I went for it. Put it down.

59:02 - 59:08

Heartbreak. Yeah. Yeah. You have to just take a long, hard look in the mirror and, you know, go again.

59:08 - 59:14

100%. I know people say it's played in a room, but I'm tapping the side of my head here.

59:14 - 59:25

It's played in this room, you know. Of course. 100%. Okay. So after gonk. Max, this has been the craziest day.

59:25 - 59:30

I know we're not supposed to. I'm so invested in gonk. I think I'd be quite good at it.

59:30 - 59:34

And I really want to. You've patented it. I don't want to steal it. No, no, no.

59:34 - 59:38

It's good. We want it to become a global game. Well, what you need really is the Saudi.

59:39 - 59:46

You need Saudi investment, which obviously is controversial. We've been trying to get it. The live gonk tour would be, that's the sort of quick way in.

59:46 - 59:52

We've been talking about gonk week for a while and we don't really know what gonk week is going to be, but we know we're going to get t-shirts.

59:52 - 59:57

Yeah. Okay. What happened next? This gets a bit murky. What time are we at now, Paul?

59:57 - 1:00:02

Oh, I've lost all track of time. It's post-lunch. You've had a big game of gonk.

1:00:02 - 1:00:07

I'd estimate three, maybe. Maybe you got up at midday, remember? So it's like. Oh, yeah.

1:00:07 - 1:00:10

I think it's later. I got to the office at about probably quarter past two.

1:00:11 - 1:00:23

It's probably like four. Four. That's what happened. Okay. The editors are like, we're going to this place called Native, which does sound mixing and sound recording.

1:00:23 - 1:00:27

And we're going to listen to the mix. Are you in or are you in?

1:00:27 - 1:00:38

And I was like, I'm in. So we drive there and I had been there once before to do ADR for anyone not in the biz additional dialogue recording.

1:00:38 - 1:00:50

Yeah. It's where you go, and then they added that in. So actually, fun fact, David is not here for the recording of this podcast and all his dialogue has been added.

1:00:51 - 1:01:00

It's like a football computer games from 2004. I just have like 16 keywords and I just say stuff like, oh my goodness.

1:01:00 - 1:01:06

That's a funny thing that happened. It's weird that we added in post the half Nelson joke because we would have thought like.

1:01:09 - 1:01:18

It's for realism. That's what he'd say. Paul, what's the idea of going to Native to listen to the mix?

1:01:18 - 1:01:25

Surely people are going to be listening to it through crappy speakers on their TVs, laptops or headphones.

1:01:26 - 1:01:39

Yeah. But I think you may as well for that one in a million and a million people will be watching this person who does have like a really top of the line boys surround sound system.

1:01:39 - 1:01:51

Dolby, Dolby. That. Yeah. When Neil Young recorded Harvest, I think he had either Crosby, Stills or Nash with him.

1:01:51 - 1:02:00

This anecdote is lacking certain key parts, but he wanted to play this Neil solo album to him.

1:02:00 - 1:02:14

So he got the Neil Young touring rig and put the speakers in the trees and rode them out into the middle of the lake and they listened to, old man, look at my life.

1:02:14 - 1:02:19

I'm a lot like, you know, and all those songs. Yeah. Well, this was similar to that.

1:02:19 - 1:02:24

Seems a lot of effort. Okay. Yeah. He drives somewhere. Okay. Right. And how are you happy with the mix?

1:02:24 - 1:02:29

Yeah. It was really good. Like it added like some like different sound, like heaps of sounds.

1:02:29 - 1:02:37

Penny whistles for every joke. It's mainly that. Yeah. Have you done the music for it, Paul?

1:02:38 - 1:02:46

Yes and no. It was proving the deadline was too soon. So I've split it with a Wellington composer called Stephen Gallagher.

1:02:46 - 1:02:56

And then he's done all the sort of action and tense stuff. And I've done all the sort of transitional title, you know, soaring strings stuff.

1:02:57 - 1:03:07

Yeah. It was really fun. We went to Wellington. Members of the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra recorded it in Peter Jackson's church, which he's turned into a recording studio.

1:03:07 - 1:03:15

Yes. That's great. These are the New Zealand details that we came here for. And then the strings were actually recorded via Zoom.

1:03:15 - 1:03:23

They were in Budapest. So shout out to Budapest. They were the... And then they needed a clomping sound at one point, Max.

1:03:23 - 1:03:30

They used Sir Edmund Hillary's boots just walking up a road. Yeah. The mix was great.

1:03:30 - 1:03:39

I loved it. I had one note, which was to get rid of a rooster who was like cock-a-doodle doing at a distracting moment.

1:03:39 - 1:03:42

And I said, could we lose that? And that was my sort of big note.

1:03:43 - 1:03:46

But obviously, no worries if you can't. I totally understand. It was a hundred percent like that.

1:03:46 - 1:03:54

I was like, I think I heard something and I wasn't sure. I think I said, I wasn't sure if I loved it or if I didn't fully love it.

1:03:54 - 1:04:03

It was during a frenetic lovemaking scene. And the 16th one was too many. This show has everything.

1:04:03 - 1:04:08

Oh, no. There's a lot of very, very graphic lovemaking scenes if you're into that.

1:04:08 - 1:04:20

Rooster sex. It's big on rooster sex. But no, the mix sounded fantastic. And he did show me into the Foley room and it was very cool.

1:04:20 - 1:04:25

So it's carpeted. But then you lift up these square panels and you lift it up.

1:04:25 - 1:04:33

And under there, there was like basically a forest floor with like rocks and different types of leaves and dirt.

1:04:33 - 1:04:40

And they had like eight different chairs just to like get different sounds of people like sitting down or standing up.

1:04:40 - 1:04:47

And then just heaps of tins and just a car door. 12 different coconuts for all the different sorts of forests.

1:04:47 - 1:04:54

Yeah. The tiny ones for the shell and pony. There you are. The tiny coconut.

1:04:55 - 1:05:03

This show is going to be sensational. I mean, hopefully someone likes it. Oh, I left and went and picked up my baby and Simone.

1:05:04 - 1:05:10

Yeah. And we went to get dinner. Where are we going? Where are we going?

1:05:11 - 1:05:20

Great question. We drove to Newmarket in Auckland to Sankalp. It's actually a chain and I think it might exist in the UK.

1:05:21 - 1:05:28

They've got a map of the world with their locations and it seems like it's mainly the UK, but it's I love it.

1:05:28 - 1:05:42

It's an Indian restaurant. S-A-N-K-A-L-P. Sankalp. And we ordered dinner. Max, what was the product that you plugged outrageously in our last episode to the point where...

1:05:42 - 1:05:48

Flora Proactive. Yeah, listen, it's reduced my cholesterol. It has. It's extraordinary. Reeks of that.

1:05:48 - 1:05:52

I don't think Sankalp reduces your cholesterol. The doctor said it's either Flora Proactive or ghee.

1:05:53 - 1:05:58

That's what you need to really bring it down. It's not a bad idea, though.

1:05:58 - 1:06:13

If I just opened like a crappy chicken shop restaurant to have a map of the world on the wall, just and I'd put like a branch in Venice, Scott-based Antarctica and, you know, Vatican City.

1:06:13 - 1:06:19

They'd be my three main branches apart from this one in Auckland. Yeah, it's a good idea.

1:06:20 - 1:06:24

I've never seen Sankalp anywhere else. So for all I know, they have made a fake map.

1:06:25 - 1:06:30

Yeah, I like it. The food is fantastic. I'm a big fan of Indian food.

1:06:30 - 1:06:35

That's my number one. And I'm a vegetarian and the menu is fantastic. It's fantastic for everyone.

1:06:35 - 1:06:40

Get to your local Sankalp. What are we having? We kind of did a sharing situation.

1:06:40 - 1:06:46

So we got from the sort of starters, we got a Panier 65, which we get every time.

1:06:46 - 1:06:53

It's great. It is 65 kilos of Panier. Is that what it is? Yeah. It's just one big piece, one big chunk.

1:06:55 - 1:07:01

Because I'm going to be full after the 58th kilo. I don't need my chicken tikka masala is how I feel.

1:07:01 - 1:07:10

The baby demands duck jungle curry, the one with the five spices beside it. And the waiter's like, are you sure?

1:07:10 - 1:07:21

And the baby just nods one single nod. Simone kind of wanted, we'd gone once with Rose Matafeo of a previous episode of this show.

1:07:21 - 1:07:34

And she had ordered just vegetable korma. And Simone had loved it. So she was like, I really want to get what Rose had ordered last time, but I don't remember what it was.

1:07:34 - 1:07:39

And I felt it was just a vegetable korma. And I was like, I'm 50% sure it was that.

1:07:39 - 1:07:48

And so we got that because Simone wanted that. And then I went with the Malai kofta, which I'd never gotten there before.

1:07:48 - 1:07:56

It was good. Sorry. I'd imagine there a butt buster mix up because shawarma sounds a bit like korma.

1:07:56 - 1:08:06

And instead of a vegetable korma, a big like lamb. Elephant's butt. Yeah. And then we also got a dosa.

1:08:06 - 1:08:15

Well, this was a big feast. We got a cheesy dosa. I don't know what it was officially called, but it was like a cheese dosa.

1:08:15 - 1:08:22

Great. All great, all great food. And then the man, he came and he said, I've never had this here.

1:08:22 - 1:08:29

He said, we got a special $5 for this dessert. And he described the dessert, but he was talking very quietly.

1:08:30 - 1:08:40

I couldn't really hear what the dessert was. All I heard was $5 dessert. And I thought, you know, $5 for any international listeners, New Zealand dollars, that's probably two pounds.

1:08:41 - 1:08:47

Yeah. What are we getting? This is exciting. It's going to be shit. It's going to be like creamed rice or something, isn't it?

1:08:48 - 1:08:55

So it came very quickly. It was, I don't know the name of it, but it's like that orange sort of spiral.

1:08:55 - 1:09:03

It's like an Indian dessert. That's like an orange little spiral. And I can't even really describe what it is because I don't know.

1:09:03 - 1:09:11

It's like, it was like three of those in a bowl in a sort of creamy soup, like a sort of pistachio soup.

1:09:11 - 1:09:17

Yeah, that's pretty good for a five. Was it good? Yeah. Good question. It was interesting.

1:09:18 - 1:09:24

See, I love, is it Gulab Jamin? The Indian, it's like a little cake that's like dipped in syrup.

1:09:25 - 1:09:28

Oh, yeah. And it's unreal. And you get that. Actually, I've had that with you, David, in Edinburgh.

1:09:28 - 1:09:36

You get that with some vanilla ice cream. That's like a world-class dessert. Yeah. This, I would say, I wouldn't get it probably again.

1:09:36 - 1:09:40

But I would say, I love going for a curry, but I don't think I've ever been to a curry house.

1:09:40 - 1:09:44

And no one has approached me to say, would you like to the dessert menu?

1:09:44 - 1:09:49

And I've never gone, do you know what I need now is a dessert. I'm just like, this has been great.

1:09:49 - 1:09:57

I've already eaten maybe twice as much as I need. Yeah. I'm still on an onion bhaji that is the most unnecessary onion bhaji the world has ever known.

1:09:57 - 1:10:01

Yeah. And I'm not going, now what I need is a tiramisu. A spiral of any color.

1:10:02 - 1:10:07

That's why I don't need it. Yeah. A place in Auckland, Paradise, a really popular Indian place.

1:10:07 - 1:10:15

Around the corner, they made an all-you-can-eat Indian place. And it was like $20 or something, because it's a valid point that you can only eat so much.

1:10:15 - 1:10:21

Like, Indian is so filling. Especially if you're getting rice and a naan, you can have like one, and then you're done.

1:10:21 - 1:10:26

Look, I'm sure there's Indian listeners who are now just shaking their heads at this.

1:10:26 - 1:10:35

I mean, like all these idiots think Indian food is a huge wadge of rice with a big clump of saucy stuff on top.

1:10:35 - 1:10:45

But, you know, I'm sure there's entire veggie, light salad-based things also. Yeah. It's the Sanjeev Bhaskar gag, isn't it?

1:10:45 - 1:10:51

When, was it in Goodness Gracious Me? I don't know. The Indian family go to an English restaurant, and they order fucking shitloads of food.

1:10:51 - 1:10:57

And right at the end, they go, and 86 portions of chips, as if, like, you know, when you go, I'll have a thousand poppadoms.

1:10:58 - 1:11:02

Just, you know, like, you complete idiots. This isn't what we eat. Okay, so we've had our curry.

1:11:02 - 1:11:09

Now what's happening? Okay, Simone wants to go to this place called Shibby's, which is like a frozen yogurt.

1:11:09 - 1:11:13

You know, it's one of those frozen yogurt places where you put all your own toppings on it.

1:11:13 - 1:11:23

Oh, yeah. Great choice. Yeah, but there was a huge boom of those in New Zealand, I would say in 2014, where suddenly there was just a hundred places doing that.

1:11:24 - 1:11:31

And then I would say in 2016, the bubble burst. They all disappeared, other than maybe one.

1:11:31 - 1:11:39

And now this one has popped back up, and it's going gangbusters. Like, you know, every time you go there, there's like a crowd of people in there.

1:11:39 - 1:11:47

Yeah. Can I tell you the greatest, the second greatest moment of my life? The first was throwing a small paper cup into a bin.

1:11:47 - 1:11:57

And like, it had in swing. It was like an incredible delivery. In Southland, in Melbourne, near where Jamie's dad and Jamie's sister live, they had a fro-yo place.

1:11:57 - 1:12:03

And if you guessed the weight of the yogurt that you'd made, and I said, it's like 128 grams.

1:12:04 - 1:12:09

And it was 128 grams. How did you get it for free? Honestly, it was like winning the lottery.

1:12:10 - 1:12:14

It was like winning 25 million pounds. It was wild. I talk about it a lot.

1:12:14 - 1:12:20

Like, you could practice at home. If you bought, I guess if you bought the yogurt machine and all the toppings, you may as well just eat it at home.

1:12:21 - 1:12:28

But I was going to say, just practice getting to like that perfect weight. But it's risk-reward, isn't it?

1:12:29 - 1:12:33

It's risk-reward because you could, like, if you really got good, you could buy like three metric tons.

1:12:33 - 1:12:38

And obviously, if you don't get it right, you then had to buy three metric tons of fro-yo.

1:12:38 - 1:12:46

Yeah. And also, the fro-yo place goes out of business because you stand outside and you offer it as a service to people.

1:12:46 - 1:12:49

Like, I'll go in there and get a tea for free if you just give me a dollar.

1:12:50 - 1:12:55

You know? Chibis wouldn't like that. I take her to Chibis. I've already had my $5 dessert.

1:12:55 - 1:13:07

She gets probably a $25 frozen yogurt. We drive home and we... Simone needs to feed the baby.

1:13:07 - 1:13:13

He's been out for dinner. So she wants to watch something and she says, do you want to watch something?

1:13:13 - 1:13:19

I have to send maybe two emails. Send the emails. We watch The Aristocats. Oh, wow.

1:13:19 - 1:13:23

The animated movie. It's one of her favorite movies from when she was a kid.

1:13:23 - 1:13:32

And we don't watch the whole thing. We watch probably 40 minutes. My friend once had an idea for...

1:13:32 - 1:13:37

What's the... Did I possibly want to say this on this podcast before? Almost certainly, yes, David.

1:13:37 - 1:13:44

But yeah, carry on. You know Cinema Paradiso? The town has taken all the kissing out of all the famous movies ever.

1:13:45 - 1:13:51

And then at the end, you see a roll of all the passionate kisses from the sort of post and pre-war period.

1:13:51 - 1:13:57

It's very moving. Well, my friend Patrick had an idea for that set in ancient Egypt because cats are sacred.

1:13:58 - 1:14:04

They've edited cats out of everything. So a movie like Aristocats doesn't make any sense.

1:14:04 - 1:14:12

Any scene with a cat in it has to go. And then at the end, they watch this cut together reel with like bits of top cat.

1:14:12 - 1:14:20

And the movie cats. The movie cats. Just in its entirety. The montage is like really long.

1:14:22 - 1:14:27

Okay. Tell us how your evening ends then, Paul. Do you watch all of Aristocats?

1:14:28 - 1:14:36

No. We watched about 40 minutes. And then it's sort of time for Simone to probably go to bed and the baby to go to bed for a bit.

1:14:37 - 1:14:43

But the baby sleeps on me. So I'm sort of on my computer doing some work.

1:14:43 - 1:14:48

Some, I did some music. I did some, there's still some little bits of composing to do.

1:14:48 - 1:14:54

Wow. So it's composing a scene from New Zealand Spy where I'm in a vineyard and there's a plane.

1:14:54 - 1:14:58

Is little guy, is Paul Jr. Is he strapped to you while you're doing this?

1:14:58 - 1:15:04

Or are you just sort of? I'm reclining. I'm reclining. Big time. Yeah. It's how Beethoven wrote most of his stuff, I think.

1:15:05 - 1:15:13

Oh yeah. He didn't write a single good thing in an upright position. I'd go with this sort of music because it sounds like it's a transitional, but we'll build a little bit of tension.

1:15:13 - 1:15:23

It would be like bass heavy. So we like. Yeah, good idea. Oh, okay. What I'm currently going for is like sort of like timpani going like.

1:15:24 - 1:15:31

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. And then like brass going. Yeah. Same idea. Same thing.

1:15:32 - 1:15:43

Yeah. This show's going to be so good. So I do that. I actually bottle feed him because at this point now it's like two, three AM.

1:15:43 - 1:15:49

Oh. Yeah. Sorry. We're near the end of the podcast. I got to start wrapping this up.

1:15:49 - 1:15:54

So, sorry. He's, he's been sleeping from. Aristocats finishes at what? Eight or nine. What do you reckon?

1:15:54 - 1:16:00

No, this is much later. Yeah. We're night owls. Okay. Got it. But he's kind of constantly sleeping in the day as well.

1:16:00 - 1:16:06

It's difficult for him to sleep where you've got the New Zealand symphony orchestra in the sitting room and a guy playing timpanis as well.

1:16:08 - 1:16:18

He won't sleep through and I don't understand why. It's the Budapest Philharmonic. No, he's, he's a pretty good sleeper and he sleeps a lot.

1:16:19 - 1:16:24

So yeah, Aristocats. I actually think Simon goes to bed at 12 something maybe. Got it.

1:16:24 - 1:16:34

Okay. I do start watching some sports highlights. I watch, um, some NBA and some premier league as well while bottle feeding him.

1:16:34 - 1:16:40

And then I put him to bed and then I go to bed and that's my day.

1:16:40 - 1:16:47

And I was going to say at the start that it was a pretty, I'd say an extremely boring day, but I didn't want you guys to have listener drop off.

1:16:47 - 1:16:51

There's never a boring day. If Luke's winning a game of gonk, let's face it.

1:16:51 - 1:16:58

Yeah. True. True. I don't want to even say his nickname cause it's, well, it's the pedophile, but, um, it's not.

1:17:00 - 1:17:16

I gave him that nickname. I should say. That is the damning nickname. He'll never be like, if it does, if Saudi do buy it and there's a pun in that and he, uh, it's on and he's there.

1:17:16 - 1:17:24

It'll be Luke, you know, McMahon, the pedophile McManus or whatever. And there'll be no jokey bit of chat about like, and how'd you get that nickname?

1:17:24 - 1:17:27

You know what I mean? Yeah. People will just gloss over it the whole time.

1:17:28 - 1:17:40

50,000 people at the Rose Bowl at the world cup final going pedo. Yeah. You know, as the day was happening, I was thinking this is, this isn't going to be great listening.

1:17:41 - 1:17:46

Yeah. I hope it was fine. No, I think you absolutely nailed that. It's been a great day.

1:17:46 - 1:17:52

I've enjoyed it. Paul Williams. Thanks for telling us what you did yesterday. No, thanks for letting me be on a podcast.

1:17:52 - 1:17:57

Not many people are brave enough to let me on. They know what I'm like.

1:17:57 - 1:18:17

Um, so no, it's been a huge honor. There was Paul Williams. So we are left wondering what that person meant when they passed Paul and Mrs. Williams.

1:18:18 - 1:18:25

It was a very good moment. I see it in the best possible. I don't think they were trying to throw shade on the newborn.

1:18:26 - 1:18:30

Or on Mrs. Williams. I think they don't turn a shade on the grotesque Mrs. Williams is what.

1:18:32 - 1:18:42

Have you ever lost your mind in an office situation to that extent, though, where you're making up a game that is that complicated?

1:18:42 - 1:18:47

Do you know what? Like, I loved Gonk. And not when I was in an office.

1:18:48 - 1:18:59

But as a child, me and George Foster and James Swarbrick, and I think maybe Clive Sarnes and Matt Walsham, invented a game in my kitchen called Bat What?

1:18:59 - 1:19:06

Where there was a small ball and a tiny spoon was the Bat. And there were all manner of rules.

1:19:06 - 1:19:13

It really brought me back to my kitchen in the 90s when we had sleepovers and we were downstairs and we shouldn't have been.

1:19:13 - 1:19:22

And we were playing Bat What? But I do remember that my lampshades we discovered during this, in the kitchen, there were glass lampshades on four.

1:19:22 - 1:19:30

We had four bulbs above the kitchen table. And if you play them in the right order with a wooden spoon, you could play Big Ben.

1:19:30 - 1:19:34

Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. That was so great when we discovered that.

1:19:35 - 1:19:39

Wow. We felt alive. But that's what happens when you grow up in the streets, I think.

1:19:39 - 1:19:42

But no, I loved gong and I love the attention to detail. I thought it was.

1:19:43 - 1:19:52

Me and Louis, my best friend from my road, had a funny thing where we would ring each other on, obviously, a proper old phone, but a push button one.

1:19:53 - 1:19:59

And curse a lot, but press the number three every time you said a rude word.

1:19:59 - 1:20:07

Which sounded like it had been bleeped like a hip hop record. Great time. Yeah, great times.

1:20:07 - 1:20:11

You know, it was good to be bored. That's the trouble for children these days.

1:20:11 - 1:20:15

They're not bored enough. Anyway, thank you, Paul. It was a lovely episode, wasn't it?

1:20:15 - 1:20:20

It was a lovely day. It did a lot. It did a lot. Very wholesome day from an extraordinary man.

1:20:21 - 1:20:26

You just don't know what he's going to do next. A man of so many talents, he'll probably become an inventor, you know.

1:20:26 - 1:20:32

Probably. He'll invent a new hand dryer, something like that, I would say. That is almost certainly what will happen.

1:20:32 - 1:20:37

If you would like to get in touch with this podcast, this is how you would go about it.

1:20:40 - 1:20:45

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.

1:20:45 - 1:20:52

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

1:20:53 - 1:21:03

And if you didn't, please don't. So, yeah, get in touch with us, please, because we value your contributions, especially to the Midweek Mayhem episodes.

1:21:03 - 1:21:09

And if you don't listen to those and you only listen to the guest episodes, I think you're making a big mistake because we have some things to say.

1:21:11 - 1:21:15

Have we said many things? I think we've said many things. We've said many things.

1:21:16 - 1:21:19

We'll just leave it at that. Yeah, we have. Thanks, Max. Cheers, David.

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