0:06 - 0:08
Podcasts, there are millions of them.
0:08 - 0:10
Some might say, too many?
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I have one already.
0:11 - 0:14
I don't have any because there are enough.
0:14 - 0:22
Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
0:22 - 0:25
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
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Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man?
0:29 - 0:34
Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
0:34 - 0:37
We try and say it at the same time. What did you do yesterday?
0:37 - 0:45
What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday. Nothing more.
0:45 - 0:46
Day before yesterday, Max?
0:47 - 0:50
The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
0:50 - 0:53
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
0:53 - 0:55
And I'm David O'Doherty.
0:55 - 1:09
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem from the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday? I'm Max Rushden. Joining me today, it's Irish comedian David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Welcome, David.
1:09 - 1:10
Good morning, everyone.
1:10 - 1:15
Good morning. Are you okay? It's not the best start you've ever given.
1:15 - 1:20
It's the greatest opening, but it's early for you, David, isn't it?
1:20 - 1:29
The bit that stays with me from Isy Suttie episode, which I do think we're getting better at these. That was a good app, Max.
1:29 - 1:31
We can never get complacent.
1:31 - 1:48
No, I know that. But you have to see the graph as going upwards in terms of quality. Now, that was a fascinating one because it was the first time, obviously, we had a secondary source giving you background on, well, Elis James Day.
1:48 - 2:16
But the bit that stays with me, and we didn't really interrogate it, was how she'd once seen a dog with a sock coming out of its arse with cutlery in it. Because we had like five different chats on the go at the same time. I feel we buried the lead there a little bit. And we just moved on, asking her what she had for lunch or whatever. But that's the image that stayed with me from that.
2:16 - 2:29
Well, we did discuss, you know, her confusion and her friend as to whether the spoon had ended up in the sock, if the dog had eaten them on separate occasions, and then through sort of intestinal osmosis, they had become one.
2:29 - 2:33
Sometimes when you put a duvet cover in the tumble dryer.
2:33 - 2:35
It's very much like that.
2:35 - 2:38
All the gear ends up inside it.
2:38 - 2:52
Well, Elis said to me that the Elis James Facebook page has gone into meltdown, is what he said. And lots of people got in touch with us, you know, Kira saying, Isy's right of reply and throwing Elis under the bus is a lovely bit of business.
2:52 - 3:02
So anyway, I joined the Elis James Facebook group to find this out. But I think I joined the wrong one, because now I just get out of context.
3:02 - 3:12
And I only look at Facebook once a month, but I'm just getting out of context quotes from Elis James's podcast. You know, I have listened. I love that podcast, but it's just not on my direct rotation.
3:12 - 3:26
Now I'm getting quotes that mean nothing. It's like coming to our live show without knowing the in-jokes, you know, and then actually thinking you have to jizz in a bath when it comes out. Like, you don't have to do that. Anyway, Elis said, I'll send you some screenshots. He hasn't done that, but that's okay.
3:27 - 3:39
Because I then went to the Elis James Reddit page. I didn't think I'd bring this up, but someone on the Elis James Reddit page suggested that Elis and Isy were having a marital crisis.
3:40 - 3:51
And then lots of people on Reddit went, mate, I don't think that's not what this is for, this page. And he's like, what? You can't have an opinion on the internet. It was one of those kind of...
3:51 - 4:00
And then somebody would be like, well, you can, but not really that opinion. He went, well, that's an opinion. It was really good. No, I did enjoy the episode. It was a lot of fun.
4:00 - 4:07
Yeah. So he eats too much dinner and sort of monosyllabically announces that he has to go for a bike ride,
4:07 - 4:16
which I misinterpreted as a home trainer bike ride. But he means a bike ride in the nine-year-old sense of...
4:16 - 4:17
London to Brighton.
4:17 - 4:29
Yeah. I'm heading off. And this was recorded in late March as well, where it's getting dark, certainly from, I'd say, seven onwards as well.
4:29 - 4:35
So it's just a man furiously cycling alone in the dark for hours.
4:35 - 4:44
Trying to digest a trout. Like, is there a moment, like, do you think it's with Ellis's stomach that, like, when the trout is digested, it kind of goes ding.
4:44 - 4:53
It's not like a gradual thing. It's like the trout is there, it's there, it's there, and then suddenly it's moved to its next part of the human body.
4:53 - 5:03
Well, in fact, there's this other intriguing thing that she mentions a few times during it. We say, oh, he eats Greek yogurt or whatever. It's part of his high-performance diet.
5:03 - 5:10
And she says, or if a Welsh person has told him, it's good. Like, they're two very different things.
5:11 - 5:19
Health versus just, it's a Welsh thing. So, yeah, he does eat seven Welsh cakes or something, in addition to the trout.
5:20 - 5:33
Because Tom Jones and Jai and Evans told him to do it. Barca Jim, friend of the show, knitting in the fucking freezer was all he said. Although Claire said, I currently and very frequently also have knitting in the freezer. Everything is showbiz.
5:33 - 5:39
There's some discussion that we should do a couple's ep. Jim wanted David and Victoria Coren Mitchell for the couple's ep.
5:39 - 5:49
So, that's probably a me booking, is my guess. Ian, not Ian, wanted a Max and Jamie couple's ep, which I would approach with trepidation.
5:49 - 6:02
But, you know, I'm in. And Ali says, the joy of this show is in the fact you just don't know where a conversation might go. And I've got to say, Elis James and the Minotaur was an avenue I never imagined you would go down.
6:03 - 6:05
We've had some criticism, though, David.
6:05 - 6:14
Sorry. The amount of times we referenced the Mary Beard episode, because it's our high water mark from an intellectual point of view.
6:14 - 6:22
And I'm pretty sure Mary would have made mincemeat out of our attempt to remember what happened.
6:22 - 6:31
The way she treated your, the Pompeii wanking man with such disdain. And between us, it was the only thing we brought to the table, regards Pompeii.
6:32 - 6:44
And maybe we should have just kept all our Pompeii stuff to ourselves. Every other episode, I think it's fine. I think we can go knee deep into Pompeii. But anyway, this criticism is from someone called Yurt.
6:45 - 6:55
Regards me and my worms in my feet. I'm sure this is the second or third time this anecdote has been trotted out and neither seem to recognize it.
6:56 - 7:08
Have we finally reached the bottom of the barrel? And then he checked. I also, because I did it maybe last week or the week before. I also did it on March the 5th, 2025, according to this guy, who must have checked everythingisshowbiz.com.
7:08 - 7:14
So I feel now, David, that I must commit to telling the worm feet anecdote once a year.
7:15 - 7:28
So if someone could set a reminder in their phone for sort of towards the end of March, 2027. Yeah. And I will furnish it with more. Each year, there will be more detail, right? Until we have a full stage performance.
7:28 - 7:44
And then I'd like to factor into that as we get older, because we're in it for life, the circle can become smaller than the point where towards the end, it's coming up maybe twice a day, two or three times a day.
7:44 - 7:57
We said basically, you know, we have got the March on Parenting Hell because their kids are going to get old and it's going to get boring. You know, Dave just went to his accountancy job again. But there is a moment where we're old and we can't remember anything.
7:57 - 8:07
And our yesterdays are, I woke up in the old people's home. Breakfast was given to me. They put on a Western and I sat in an armchair for five hours.
8:07 - 8:16
A bad guy came into town and a roguish guy became the sheriff and decided to rid the town of the bad guys.
8:17 - 8:27
And then someone came and sang some nursery rhymes to us. And frankly, I thought, is this what life has become? Anyway, we need to sue Radio 4, David.
8:27 - 8:29
Oh, wow. Okay. One billion pounds.
8:29 - 8:41
We're suing Amol Rajan, who was hosting a show called Radical. And the episode was called The Reading Recession. Are we making ourselves less intelligent? I mean, I feel seen.
8:41 - 8:49
I don't know about anyone else. He was talking to James Marriott, who I confess I'm not aware of, but he's presumably an intelligent Radio 4 person.
8:49 - 8:51
He's the boss of the hotels.
8:51 - 9:04
Of course he is. In it, Amol said, everything is show business. Everything is show business. And I think it showed because so many polemics, you're like, you were just barking up the wrong tree.
9:04 - 9:08
Like the thing you thought you'd noticed in society was actually just not that relevant.
9:09 - 9:14
Has Amol been listening to us or James Harriot? James Harriot. James Harriot.
9:17 - 9:21
Yes. We'll get one of those no win, no fee lawyers to take it on.
9:22 - 9:24
Mars Bar, you sort that out.
9:24 - 9:32
Thank you. Don R. Campbell of British Columbia, Canada. Dear the Irish, the English and the producer. He says, this podcast should have a medical warning.
9:33 - 9:44
Then he's done the triangle, yellow triangle, exclamation mark, danger emoji at the start of each episode. Warning, the comments in this podcast may cause stitches to rip open. It is true.
9:44 - 9:55
After experiencing heart surgery, the instructions to me were in essence, lays around for two weeks with no exertion. Easy, I thought. Read a bit, watch a little sport, throw in some podcasts for good measure.
9:56 - 10:10
Step one and two cause no problem. However, it was when I discovered What Did You Do Yesterday that the issues began to show up. First couple of episodes, very funny, but I was able to control the laughter. However, during the next two I listened to, control was not a viable option.
10:11 - 10:25
Outright laughter ensued, followed by, hmm, that's an odd feeling. And sure enough, the stitches had not held, to put it politely. This feels like a great achievement. Laughter has been called the best medicine. However, in this case, that is a questionable label.
10:25 - 10:34
Definitely in it for life. Repaired heart, repaired stitches, and renewed excitement for Wednesday and Sunday mornings. Don R. Campbell, British Columbia.
10:34 - 10:42
Thanks, Don. And sorry we caused this. We didn't cause it, but sorry that we have led to these problems.
10:42 - 10:57
It'd be nice to know the exact moment. Well, I presume it was when Phil Ellis said, with the greatest respect, get in my ass. How many people, like, stitches burst open and they died at that exact moment? Because we're trying to grow the audience.
10:57 - 11:06
And obviously, you want to create an entertaining, edgy podcast, but you don't want, if a large number of the audience die, that's a problem, isn't it?
11:06 - 11:07
During it, yeah.
11:07 - 11:09
During the podcast, yeah.
11:09 - 11:19
Mars Bar will be looking at the graphs. I imagine Mars Bar has like 36 screens in front of him. And then the saddest screen of all is...
11:19 - 11:34
Well, every listener is a heart monitor going, boop, boop, boop, boop. And then he just hears, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And then he tries to remote resuscitate them with a drone that he has. And if that's successful, we've got him back.
11:35 - 11:49
Sean saw some merch and he sent it to me. He said, I saw this. I thought it'd be right up your street. A hat that says, I'd rather be listening to Torn by Natalie Imbruglia. I'm going to order that for the Natalie Epp and be wearing it when the Zoom call opens.
11:50 - 12:01
I wonder what her attitude to Torn is. As in, you know, the way I think maybe Aqua don't like playing Barbie Girl. That's a bad example. But I'm trying to think of a bad example.
12:01 - 12:10
They were just like, we're playing Mr. Jones and that's it. Dr. Jones. Was it Dr. Jones? Mr. Jones was the Counting Crows.
12:10 - 12:24
Mr. Jones, wow. You have this encyclopedic. Listeners, did you see the speed at which he just simply, the search parameters just changed there of his 90s, early 2000s.
12:24 - 12:38
But the issue is, you know, it says start from 1990, end 1999. I can't change those bits when I'm doing the advanced search. Yeah, I remember James came on Soccer AM and they didn't want to talk about sit down.
12:38 - 12:44
I can't believe that they would have thought we would have done some hackneyed gag about sitting down on that show.
12:46 - 12:58
Aidan in Bathgate. Great. Hello, Max and DOD. Long time listener, first time emailer. I was listening to Classic FM last week and was disappointed to hear in their annual Hall of Fame, which is a ridiculous top 300 countdown.
12:58 - 13:12
The theme music that Bach so kindly orchestrated for you in the 1730s only placed at 283. After further investigation, it seems it has risen 11 places since last year's Hall of Fame in which it was a new entry.
13:12 - 13:19
And I can only conclude a top 40 breaker. I can only conclude the increasing popularity is solely down to the pod.
13:20 - 13:33
And if the trend continues, we only have to wait until 2052 to see it crown the nation's favorite piece of classical music. In it for life. Or until the theme tune gets to number one, whichever comes first. Aidan in Bathgate. Thank you, Aidan.
13:33 - 13:40
Wow. It's just so accessible from watching Top of the Pops for the first, certainly 20 years of my life.
13:41 - 13:50
That coming in at number 16, it's Bach. It's Bach. And then pointing over at the stage, and the camera sort of pads over.
13:51 - 13:53
And he's got a kind of mod haircut.
13:53 - 13:58
And there's girls dancing behind him, clapping slightly out of time.
13:59 - 14:17
Someone's got a triangular guitar. Mark Goodyear is there going, yeah, great one. Now, in regards to sleeping at gigs, dear David, Max and Marsblad, just listening to season four, episode 12 with the fantastic Bilal Zafars yesterday, I was extremely grateful
14:17 - 14:28
to hear that David finds it inoffensive to hear that people fall asleep listening to the podcast or even at one of his gigs. I felt extremely guilty having fallen asleep during his performance at the Bristol Comedy Garden last summer.
14:28 - 14:42
His set was excellent. But in my defense, I was exhausted from being in my first trimester of pregnancy with an average bedtime at the time of around 6.30pm, sitting in a dark hot tent surrounding by the din of highly amused, well-oiled Bristolians.
14:42 - 14:49
Having dedicatedly listened to every single episode of What Did You Do Yesterday, I feel extremely safe and reassured in the presence of David and Max's dulcet tones.
14:49 - 14:59
I believe the entire combination lulled me into what was one of the most refreshing sleeps of my entire pregnancy, and probably contributed positively to nurturing the lovely, healthy daughter I have since given birth.
14:59 - 15:05
She came too swiftly for me to switch on an episode during delivery. I mean, how quickly did you come on?
15:06 - 15:15
This is Arima from Bristol. How quickly did she come on? I mean, like, you do have time to put a podcast on, unless it was like Marty Pellow popping out in a toilet in Clydebank.
15:15 - 15:26
Unless it happened at the Bristol Comedy Garden. She dozed off and woke up. And as I was finishing the set to rapturous applause, there she was just in her arms.
15:26 - 15:30
Yeah. And you're like, no babies at this gig.
15:30 - 15:44
It's like, no, don't have a no babies at this gig rule. I do. My main recollection of that gig was Bristol. And I would say this about several cities in England in particular.
15:44 - 15:53
They have an airport that's highly inaccessible to the city. It's the old, not so much an airport as a farmer with a dream.
15:53 - 15:54
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
15:54 - 16:07
Because you have to drive through three other villages to get to the gig that are narrow, quaint English country villages where everyone's shaking their fist at you because you're coming in from the airport.
16:07 - 16:19
I arrived very soon to the start of that gig. So I'm happy that I still managed to create my ultimate dream scenario, which is to make the audience fall asleep. Thank you.
16:19 - 16:32
I'd just like to point out for the tape and for that earlier criticism and for the future what did you do yesterday is when we live in the same old people's home. I think I've heard what Bristol Airport is like from you before.
16:33 - 16:45
Now, I normally would have obviously let it slide. And people in glass houses can't throw stones. I understand that. But just given the fact that people are now onto us of repeating our stories.
16:46 - 16:59
I just had to... Connor in Arizona. Greetings, gents. I recently traveled from my home in Arizona in the United States to beautiful Japan. And as an avid listener, had saved several episodes of the show to listen to on the long flight to Tokyo during my jet lag travels around Japan.
16:59 - 17:11
As a point of order, I will mention now that I'm a practicing Mormon. I promise this becomes relevant. As I traveled on the bullet train from Tokyo to Hiroshima, it was proven to me that this podcast is the center of the known universe.
17:11 - 17:26
I heard you gents discussing which Moomins and oddly which trains could most easily be inserted into the human cavity as an unplugged substitute. Max mentioned that the Shinkansen would be an ideal candidate for rectal insertion, which was the very train I was riding on.
17:26 - 17:33
As I thundered past Mount Fuji at 200 plus miles an hour on the Shinkansen, I thought truly the center of the known universe.
17:33 - 17:46
However, I was not prepared for the next level of serendipity. I've been perplexed by the mention of Moomins as these admittedly anally appealing creatures were not part of my childhood. However, just hours later, I saw my first Moomin on a Japanese magazine.
17:46 - 17:55
I'm just a Mormon learning about Moomins while riding the Shinkansen. Everything is showbiz, butt plugs and cherry blossoms. Connor in Arizona. Thank you, Connor.
17:55 - 18:09
For the ultimate center of the known universe moment, you're on that train. Just at the moment it's mentioned, the train goes dark. It just goes into a tunnel. And you have this terrible fear.
18:09 - 18:12
That you, the train has gone into the-
18:12 - 18:13
Phil Ellis.
18:13 - 18:28
Into a giant in Japan because they make wild theme parks in Japan. They've made an enormous Moomin Phil Ellis theme park in which the ultimate ride is you get in a Shinkansen, which has a Moomin front.
18:29 - 18:33
And then you hear with the greatest respect and then you go into a big tunnel.
18:33 - 18:37
That is, you are then inside the rectum of Phil Ellis.
18:37 - 18:40
We need to get on to Mars bar about this.
18:40 - 18:53
I see, like occasionally on my internets comes up the overgrown, sad, closed theme park that was the Mr. Blobby Crinkly Bottom theme park.
18:54 - 18:59
I wonder if we should open a theme park based around this podcast.
19:00 - 19:09
If so, do the listeners have any other ideas for rides apart from the Japanese speed train Phil Ellis?
19:12 - 19:14
We need Phil to like make a mold of his.
19:15 - 19:29
So it's true to, we'd hate someone to go in going, this is not what it's like. Actually, this is not a really accurate presentation of Phil Ellis' anus. That would be the worst. We'd have to get it. I'm sure he'd be keen. Because it would be a collab after all, wouldn't it?
19:29 - 19:41
No, it would. Certain rides would be more exciting than others. The Elis James, where you just go off on a bike on your own in the dark, trying to ride off 3000 calories.
19:42 - 19:44
That would be a less exciting ride.
19:44 - 19:47
Are you given a trout for dinner first?
19:48 - 19:51
So that part of the ride is you sit down for a trout.
19:51 - 20:01
Yes. And you're given a bed bug ridden Welsh admiral kit from 1979 that you have to wear while you're cycling as well.
20:01 - 20:10
You have to dress as Mickey Thomas. And then Claire says, it's a really good idea. Hi, P head Max. It's just a normal head Mars bar and giant head David.
20:10 - 20:17
On listening to the midweek mayhem, Max and David's woke daydream and hearing that David might need a new companion who could match his giant head.
20:18 - 20:27
Please can I put forward my husband, Dan? I don't know about the exact measurements, but many years ago when he qualified as a barrister, we had to go to this fancy shop in London to get his barrister wig.
20:28 - 20:33
After they measured his head, they got all excited and said, we'll have to get the big wig down from the shelf.
20:35 - 20:39
This is actually where the term big wigs comes from.
20:39 - 20:47
It turns out they'd ordered a wig years ago, which was so large, it had never fitted anyone before.
20:47 - 21:01
So it had become the display wig. Apart from the embarrassment of having this abnormally large noggin that fitted the big wig and presumably become something of legend in this shop. It suited my husband as when you have a brand new wig, it's bright white.
21:02 - 21:15
And then everyone in court knows you're a newbie and potentially not very good. Whereas he ended up with this old, gnarly, weathered wig. So he could pretend to be a wise and knowledgeable. In it for life. Love, Claire. Oh, thank you, Claire. Oh, this is excellent stuff.
21:15 - 21:19
I'll get him to defend me in court if it's ever needed.
21:19 - 21:33
We get into legal trouble. And he's the only one who can do a sort of eclipse type thing where if the jury are over there, if he stands in the perfect place, his head can block my head.
21:36 - 21:46
Although, if you have those two things in the same room, presumably like the gravitational pool, there'll be some, we'll get Professor Brian Cox to explain, could that end the world?
21:46 - 22:00
Would we all start spinning around, you and Dan? That's what would happen. None of us could ever sit down anymore. Now, they're just normal countries. Remember, we launched, they're just normal countries, I, I. They're just normal countries, Redux, as Mars bar calls it.
22:00 - 22:14
Now, because of recording times, we're recording this around exactly the same time that the latest mayhem comes out. So there'd be no guesses. So for momentum purposes, that is a bit of a blow. So I forward this to you, and I don't know what you and Mars bar think.
22:14 - 22:23
My friend, Matt Skelding, when I first met him at 16, he was wearing a hoodie at Sixth Form College. I was a bit wary because he had a hoodie on. As he turns out, lovely chap.
22:24 - 22:35
We got past that. It was a, we got past that. But he has said, he has been on at me for his guesses for they're just normal countries for a long time. I didn't want to just, just because he's a friend of mine, it doesn't mean you get.
22:35 - 22:49
We can't do that. Mars bar had a system. He's been back in touch to say the last two countries were not Malawi and Suriname. Could you do me one favor to make up for ignoring my email and ask Mars bar how many listens Malawi and Suriname had in July, 2025, or whenever the quiz began?
22:49 - 23:02
So the question is, David, do we answer Matt's question? He just wanted to know. These were his guesses, and they were never answered in They're Just Normal Countries. Or should we forward them as new guesses to keep the momentum going for they're just normal countries?
23:02 - 23:04
So the new they're just normal countries.
23:04 - 23:07
Uh-huh. There's two, aren't there? There's just two with one listen. Is that right?
23:07 - 23:09
Yeah, there's two.
23:09 - 23:10
There's two. Hi, Mars bar.
23:10 - 23:16
Are these countries that have had one listen since March, 2025, when the original they're just normal countries?
23:17 - 23:20
No, because then they would have been in, then they would have just been normal countries.
23:20 - 23:27
Okay, sorry. They had none then, and then they have since risen to one. And that's what we're looking at here.
23:27 - 23:28
Yeah, that's right.
23:28 - 23:33
It doesn't feel like exponential growth, but in many ways, from nought to one is infinite growth.
23:33 - 23:34
It is infinite growth.
23:34 - 23:47
It's infinite growth. So my question is, to both of you, is should we posit these guesses, Malawi and Suriname, as the guesses for the new quiz? Or should we just tell Matt how many listens they had when the quiz began?
23:47 - 23:55
Because he keeps messaging me once a week to say, how many did Malawi and Suriname have? They were my guesses. What do you think?
23:55 - 24:00
I would be happy to allow them to be the first guesses in I.I.
24:00 - 24:05
Oh, well, we guessed how to guess, didn't we? You guessed something, and I guessed Northern Mariana Islands.
24:06 - 24:10
Oh, yeah. Do you know Bristol Airport is...
24:10 - 24:19
It's like a farmer with a dream. It's a good line, but I've heard it before. Malawi, what do you think?
24:19 - 24:22
I'm happy for them to be included.
24:22 - 24:32
Yeah, you don't sound happy. But I would say that that energy was wildly indifferent to what could be the greatest quiz of all time.
24:32 - 24:48
I'm a broadcasting professional. I know how to raise the energy here. Mars Bar, what we want to know is, in the last year, have Malawi or Suriname had none and more recently one listen?
24:48 - 24:49
That's right, isn't it? That's what the quiz is.
24:49 - 24:51
Yeah, that's good. That was really good.
24:51 - 24:53
I mean, I'm confused now.
24:53 - 25:01
We'll start originally. How many listens had Malawi and Suriname had when it was they're just normal countries?
25:02 - 25:09
Okay, so at the start of the original V1 of this quiz, Malawi had had 36 listens.
25:10 - 25:14
For the purposes of V1 and V2, that is a big fat.
25:16 - 25:22
However, Suriname, that had three. So close. Very close.
25:22 - 25:34
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Three is good. That's like a big round of applause on Pointless. So we're still at zero. So please enter. They're just normal countries. II.
25:34 - 25:42
I now remember the sense of relief I felt when this ended. And now there's a sort of hotel California quality to this.
25:42 - 25:52
Dear David Max and Mars Bar, I'm sorry to keep the Moomin chat going, but I couldn't let the latest information on the last word be the last word on the matter.
25:52 - 26:04
Moomins are not a Japanese creation. Yeah. Okay, we know this. Aaron will hopefully feel somewhat vindicated in telling his colleagues that whilst the 90s animated TV series was partly done by a Japanese team of animators, the co-producer was a Finnish company.
26:04 - 26:18
The Moomins were created in 1945 by Tove Janssen. We've been through this. Who was from Helsinki? But from a Swedish speaking family. As Aaron added a curdle guest to his Moomin chat, I felt compelled to also do that. My guess is as follows. This is from Graham.
26:19 - 26:22
Oh, jeepers. We've moved through. Bing, bing, bing.
26:22 - 26:29
Jeepers. What? This podcast is really going at base, isn't it, David? I can barely keep my hands on the steering wheel.
26:29 - 26:32
Max, we've never done back-to-back quizzes like this straight away.
26:33 - 26:34
You have to mix it up. You have to mix it up sometimes.
26:34 - 26:35
Bing, bing, bing.
26:35 - 26:37
Halloumi. Caerphilly.
26:37 - 26:38
Bing, bing, bing.
26:38 - 26:39
Cashel Blue.
26:39 - 26:41
Bing, bing, bing.
26:41 - 26:49
Okay. There is high cheese and there is low cheese. They were all high cheeses. There is a low cheese somewhere in this.
26:49 - 26:51
Do you want to ask me a question?
26:52 - 26:57
Similar to when we did the live show in Melbourne and I ran across the road.
26:57 - 26:59
Oh, these are too many clues.
26:59 - 27:01
To the easy. Max Rushden.
27:01 - 27:04
What time did you get up at yesterday?
27:04 - 27:05
It's 5.50 a.m.
27:06 - 27:21
Willie wakes up and Jamie says, I'll get up with him because I've been settling him in the night. We're trying to wean him to stop him breastfeeding. And so I'm doing all the get up in the night, pat him on the back until he shuts up.
27:21 - 27:35
So that's really nice of Jamie to do that. But then she says, I'm also going to go back to bed at 6.45. So then it was sort of like she'd given and then taken away. But I think fair enough. Right. I'm going to the World Cup for seven weeks, which is whenever we have a conversation about this, she brings this up.
27:35 - 27:38
And it's a very accurate thing to bring up. Yes.
27:38 - 27:45
I have to bring up my in real life last encounter with Willie Rushden because I'm still in Australia.
27:45 - 27:47
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
27:47 - 28:01
And we went to the cafe and then you handed him to me and said, I'm going for a wee. And Willie Rushden said, no, you're not. But then I think I went to the loo after you.
28:01 - 28:03
No, you went before me because you saw.
28:03 - 28:17
Well, that's what I was going to relate because it still makes me smile. Yeah. We went to a very sophisticated Italian, makes little tiny desserts. And I went into the gents in the back of it.
28:17 - 28:27
There was a very sophisticated man who looked a bit like Pep Guardiola, sort of Italian Pep Guardiola, you know, very expensive kind of cashmere coat that went to mid thigh.
28:27 - 28:39
And he was just standing inside the door of the gents. And I just needed to wee. So I looked past him and the urinals were all empty. So I just sort of indicated towards them.
28:39 - 28:50
And the incredibly sophisticated looking man just said, I am poo-poo. He was waiting for the cubicle to become available.
28:50 - 28:56
But to take it full circle, because you went before, this was, we actually had to go for a wee in a different cafe, because our cafe didn't have a toilet.
28:56 - 29:06
And then I followed you in. And then I took Willie with me. It's much easier to sit on the toilet than to stand up, because he likes to get involved in the stream of the wee if you're standing up.
29:07 - 29:18
As I ended the toilet, I, poo-poo, had just left the cubicle. So I sat on the warm toilet seat, warmed by the cashmere bottom of I am poo-poo. Anyway.
29:18 - 29:21
Lovely smell of aftershave there. It was sophisticated.
29:21 - 29:35
So 6.44 a.m., Ian comes into my room. It's time for me to get up. Jamie has a lie down. Ian wants some toast. He has four pieces of toast and butter. He eats so much butter that I feel he'll be the youngest ever person to get heart disease.
29:36 - 29:46
I feel we'll be frowned upon at kinder when we say, in the WhatsApp group, yes, Ian can't make next week. He's having a triple heart bypass.
29:46 - 29:49
I can't do swimming this week.
29:49 - 30:02
Willie has a piece of toast. I have all their crusts, which sort of makes up a piece of toast, actually. And sometimes if you really want a bit more toast, you can cut the crusts a bit, give yourself a bit more bread.
30:03 - 30:07
You defibrillate him for the first time after that.
30:07 - 30:19
I have some of my own toast with peanut butter and jam. Then we're in the living room and Ian and I are sort of jumping on each other. He's getting to sort of wrestling age. That's an issue because I've still got my ruptured spleen.
30:20 - 30:30
But also Willie is sort of watching us rumble. But Willie's method of attack is a bit like, it reminds me of, you know that dinosaur in Jurassic Park?
30:30 - 30:44
That corners the computer nerd. He's like, looks really sweet. He's going, sweet, sweet. And then he goes, his sort of like whole head turns massive. And he goes, it's like suddenly he goes in. And Willie has, he doesn't have like a huge neckerchief, dinosaur neckerchief.
30:44 - 30:52
But he's very placid. And then he just dives in and tries to bite some bare flesh. So anyway, we have high hopes. We have high hopes.
30:52 - 31:00
Do you think maybe with me that I am a frail dinosaur, but my giant head is just me permanently under attack?
31:02 - 31:11
It's possible. Okay. Then we're to the trains, obviously. The big Brio train set. Ian and I are having some disagreements about engineering. But he is definitely the project manager.
31:12 - 31:22
To the point where, you know, I try and mount a defense for what I think we should do. And then I get to the stage where if he's going to mess this up, I'm going to throw him under the bus in the boardroom.
31:22 - 31:28
And Lord Sugar's going to fire him. He's running in. He is making a big old mess. And I'm like.
31:28 - 31:34
He's probably not as interested as you would be in the circular track. The beauty of that Brio wooden train stuff is.
31:34 - 31:35
It all connects.
31:35 - 31:45
If you get the bits right, and then you can just drive. But is the joy of it more in the construction than in the actual train driving itself?
31:45 - 32:00
Are you saying, is this your first high performance reel? We'll get to them in a minute. It's like, it's not the journey. It's the destination. You should do a video with a Brio train track saying it's the construction. That's the journey. Jamie gets up. We're all getting dressed. It's quite cold in the mornings now.
32:00 - 32:07
Yeah. I've noticed that. I've noticed that. Ian is, we're now warming his t-shirt on the radiator and he absolutely loves it.
32:07 - 32:21
And he's right. There's one of the best things in life, isn't it? If you get all your clothes, pants, socks, trousers, shirt on a really cold day, all on the radiator. But then you have to really get them on so fast. Don't you have to be like, it's hot, but just for a second. On.
32:21 - 32:32
We're off to the cafe. We're going to Tinker. I have a long black. It's great. Ian has bought some Brio trains. He's bought his puff steam train. It actually puffs out little bits of steam. It's amazing.
32:32 - 32:33
Little vapes.
32:33 - 32:46
Yeah. It's like a tiny vaping Brio. And so we do a lot of that in the cafe. We go to Northcote Plaza and we buy a Kinder Surprise and a little toy skateboard because we are off to the GP surgery.
32:46 - 32:53
I knew it. For some reason, I just knew that was coming. Oh no. For his heart condition from the button?
32:53 - 33:06
Well, first of all, I've got a 9-15 appointment because if you remember my cholesterol being a bit high, middle-aged men, listen up. And the doctor said, look, everything's fine, your liver, your kidney, blah, blah, blah, but you've got high cholesterol.
33:06 - 33:09
So you need to start using Flora Proactive.
33:09 - 33:11
This sounds like, oh God.
33:11 - 33:21
Honestly, these guys should give us 50 grand for this because I've done nothing different. I can't exercise because of my broken ribs. I eat shit. I eat chocolate all the time.
33:21 - 33:34
But because I've been using Flora Proactive on toast, I'm now the healthiest man alive. My cholesterol has gone down to like perfect levels. It's astonishing. Just in three months. That's Flora Proactive.
33:34 - 33:45
It's just because occasionally Mars Bar will tell us of the dank goings on in the podcast world where sponsors really want to be kind of embedded in the podcast.
33:46 - 33:50
This is the ultimate dream for that name again, Flora Proactive.
33:50 - 34:05
Once again, a bit like Lululemon's, we do it the wrong way around. We need to wait for them to come to us rather than saying that was kind of you. Here's some money. The morals of these big corporations aren't there to say these guys did some good stuff for us.
34:05 - 34:13
We should actually give them a hundred grand because I think a lot of middle-aged men are going to buy Flora Proactive now and Flora, give us some money.
34:13 - 34:28
You also say to the doctor that you were traveling in Eritrea and you may have got worms through your feet and the doctor checks the notes and says, this is the 14th time you've come to me with this problem.
34:29 - 34:31
Now panic, everybody. The boys need their shots.
34:31 - 34:38
Ian is going to the bar. You're going to get to line up six whiskeys each, lads. You're old enough for this.
34:38 - 34:52
Flaming Sambukas. Lick your hand first, guys. Ian's getting his four-year-old ones. We're worried about Ian because he's four, so he's sentient. So you have to kind of explain what's going to happen. You can't be just like, look at that tree. Bang. Like, that's not really the vibe.
34:52 - 35:03
Now, I think it's going to be three injections, but it's just one. So that's a relief. So anyway, he's pretty good. He sits on me. I hold his hands. We get out the Hot Wheels skateboard and we're opening that.
35:03 - 35:16
And then she sticks in the needle and he is okay. And then he's very sad and he says it was a bit spiky. But then I give him a kinder egg and he eats most of the kinder egg and I get a bit of the egg. So we've both been brave and that's good.
35:16 - 35:20
Do you say to him, we have to get some medicine and they have to...
35:20 - 35:24
Well, basically, unless we had this, he wouldn't be able to go to kinder.
35:25 - 35:28
You had to have your four-year-old vaccines to be able to go to kinder.
35:29 - 35:35
Obviously, it's massive anti-vaxxers. That's a bit disappointing for us, but we understand it's a really good kinder and it gets him out of the house.
35:35 - 35:42
The other option I was thinking was if she'd mounted it on the front of a Brio train and then it'd just slowly come around the corner.
35:42 - 35:50
He would have just put his bum in front of it or whatever. Whap. Which actually could be one of the theme park.
35:51 - 36:04
The kiddies bit next to the Phil Ellis one. We've got to have a kiddies one where they can get vaccinated with a Brio train with hypodermic needles on the end. I mean, it is a health and safety. It is. We'd have to fit, definitely have to fill out a form before it.
36:05 - 36:20
So he goes out, Willie comes in and this is meningitis. You have to buy this one from the pharmacy. And I was like, oh yeah, I'll get it. And there's $134. I'm like, okay, anyway, it's probably worth it for your kid not getting meningitis on the balance of it.
36:20 - 36:34
What's fun is there are maybe 12 other people in the doctor's waiting room and they are just a selection of 200-year-old Greek couples. And us. And they're all very excited to see a baby. Now the nurse says, have you given him the Panadol already?
36:34 - 36:45
And we're like, no. She's like, oh, because it's going to get a fever. And we're like, oh God. So anyway, Jamie goes out with Ian and I get Willie and I hold his hands and he gets that in his arm.
36:45 - 36:55
No, in his thigh actually. And he does not like this sensation. He is grieving. Like that is, you know, that face. The only other face you see is like really sad.
36:56 - 37:00
People on the news are like weeping. That is the weeping face that he is doing.
37:01 - 37:11
I found, and the times I've hung out with him and maybe he hasn't been in great form, if I turn him upside down and then nearly dunk his head into a body of water, that does distract him.
37:11 - 37:14
Yeah, so then we went to Lake Garda and we did.
37:14 - 37:15
Got a helicopter.
37:15 - 37:24
Anyway, we have to wait 15 minutes just to see that he doesn't have some allergic reaction. So Jamie goes off and gets the Panadol and we shove it down his mouth.
37:24 - 37:36
And he quite likes Panadol. So that's good because Ian refuses to have any of these drugs and it's really annoying. We're on the way home and Ian wants to go to an op shop, like a charity shop, to look at the toys.
37:36 - 37:47
We're not busy. So we go into one, but there are some paramedics. We've seen the paramedics go into this op shop. But it's not like an emergency because you know how you can tell with paramedics, there's like three of them just ambling around.
37:48 - 37:56
I mean, they're going slow. You know, they're wandering around the ambulance as if like, you know, so you're like, I'd at least like give the air of this is important, but it clearly isn't.
37:56 - 38:10
Anyway, the issue is someone has fallen down the stairs into the kid's bit. The person who's fallen down the stairs is a local eccentric. The man at the shop says, it's Carrot Man. We're like, Carrot Man. He's like, you know the man. It's true, there's a man.
38:10 - 38:11
He holds a giant carrot.
38:11 - 38:14
He holds a giant carrot. Have you seen him?
38:14 - 38:16
Yeah, no, I've never seen him. I've heard about him.
38:16 - 38:28
So it's Carrot Man. And the man says, I mean, I guess if he wasn't holding the giant carrot, he could have held onto the rail. At this stage, I mean, I don't know how well Carrot Man is, but just from the way the paramedics were acting.
38:28 - 38:33
But we do see the giant carrot up against the wall. But Carrot Man is...
38:34 - 38:35
Oh, no. I'm so sorry.
38:35 - 38:48
So anyway, I don't know if Carrot Man... Listen, there aren't many Carrot Men. So like Carrot Man will know who Carrot Man is. I hope you're okay. It means Ian's very upset because we can't go to the toys because Carrot Man is being dealt with by three paramedics.
38:48 - 38:49
Get well soon, Carrot Man.
38:49 - 38:54
Like, does someone have to come and look after the carrot? Or does the carrot go in the ambulance? We're not sure.
38:54 - 38:59
It sounds to me while he's recuperating, he could do with some flora proactive.
38:59 - 39:08
I'm 100% right. Yeah, available in all good supermarkets. But the carrot's not a real carrot. It's like a massive plaster of Paris carrot. I don't know what... I've never held it.
39:08 - 39:16
My knowledge of him, he sort of stands at intersection. There's a specific intersection in Fitzroy that he kind of loiters around with the giant carrot.
39:16 - 39:20
Yeah, he can be seen on Northcott High Street quite a lot. I've never really thought about it.
39:20 - 39:24
He's just a big advocate for carrots, maybe, you know.
39:24 - 39:26
Maybe he's paid a lot by carrots.
39:26 - 39:41
A big, literally big carrot. A big carrot. The irony would be that it was, the light was low and he hadn't seen the top step. The one thing that the carrots are supposed to .. is.. sorry.
39:41 - 39:53
Imagine the pot of hummus you'd need to... Anyway, we go to a different op shop and we play with some toys and there are some tennis balls. We throw them around and then we sort of tidy everything up. We walk home.
39:53 - 40:01
We play some sand. I hang out with some washing. Now, Kath next door, something's been beeping in her house for the last three days. It's really annoying.
40:02 - 40:12
But like, I can't be bothered to text to say, because you might get like a 5,000 word text message asking for a favor. So I just, I just hear this beeping.
40:12 - 40:15
Hang on. Something is beeping in the house next door.
40:15 - 40:17
Yeah. I don't know what it is. We don't know what it is.
40:17 - 40:18
It's so annoying, yeah.
40:18 - 40:30
It's not very loud, but it's audible. And it's like, it's not so loud that you would say, you've got to turn this, but it's audible and it's now been still there this morning. It's just turn it off. Whatever it is. Like the fridge can't have been open for four days.
40:30 - 40:33
Do the beep and maybe me or the listeners could identify it.
40:33 - 40:36
I'll listen to it to get it exactly right. Hang on.
40:36 - 40:48
To the listeners, Max has left his little podcasting shed and he's sticking his head presumably over the wall just to hear the exact tonality of it.
40:49 - 40:57
Because the amount of things these days, from hair straighteners to dishwashers and tumble dryers that have a little melody.
40:57 - 40:59
It's like this.
40:59 - 41:02
What do we think it could be?
41:02 - 41:12
I think it might be a fridge, but you can't have left your fridge open for four days.
41:13 - 41:17
You'd imagine it would have an auto shut off functionality as well.
41:17 - 41:26
Anyway, okay. So at lunchtime, Ian and Willie have seaweed and rice. Jay has some leftover pasta. I have scrambled eggs with roasted tomatoes and halloumi. It's nice.
41:26 - 41:36
Willie goes down for a nap. I have a tiny Easter egg. Me and Ian do a clock puzzle and Jamie goes to the shop. Sophie arrives. She normally does the morning, but she's doing the afternoon because of the shots.
41:36 - 41:42
So that's great. I go for a 20 minute nap. Then I'm off to the cafe to meet Jamie for coffee with no kids.
41:42 - 41:46
Interruption. Has Willie come down with the fever?
41:46 - 41:48
No, it's been pretty good so far.
41:48 - 42:00
Yeah. We bump into our friend Raph. We chat about life. We have the diary, but we don't really get any planning done. We drive home. Now, I've promised to teach Ian to ride a bike. If you remember, we were discussing should he have his training wheels on or not.
42:00 - 42:11
We got the training wheels taken off. Now, the day before, although not relevant, he'd read a book where this kid just gets on a bike and can ride a bike. So he thought he could do that. And he got on the bike and he couldn't and he was very sad.
42:12 - 42:24
So I take him to these tennis courts at the school because the school's on holidays. Yeah. He's got his balance bike and his bike bike. And we go down a little hill on the balance bike and we try that with the bike, but it doesn't work very well.
42:24 - 42:36
But the tennis courts are great because they are open and whatever. And so I'm convinced he'll get on it once, won't be able to do it and be really sad and go home. But anyway, I'm pushing him a little bit. And then he says, let go of me, dad.
42:36 - 42:48
And then he can just go. He just cycles. He's free. And I guess it's a very seminal moment in, you know, this is really great. It's like a really lovely thing. And then he's just cycling around and having the time of his life.
42:48 - 42:59
I remember learning to cycle. And it was that exact thing where it was my dad holding me as I rode along, him being like, I'm still holding you.
42:59 - 43:08
I'm still holding you. And then the holding would get less where we'd just be like one hand on my back. And then there's a point where I look around and he wasn't holding me.
43:08 - 43:21
But this happened in like, I suppose he's been balanced biking for a long time. So I thought the transition would be quite quick. It wasn't like, you know, a classic case of we go again. Come on, Sam, we go again. It was literally just got on the bike and he went, I'll see you.
43:22 - 43:30
And I was like, oh, this is great. He may be the next Eddie Merckx or he may be just absolutely rammed full of steroids. Who knows? Because he's good at it.
43:30 - 43:36
He immediately rode to the bike shop where he bought 18 more bikes because he's been listening to this podcast.
43:39 - 43:48
Anyway, Jamie's really excited. So she comes down to watch him do some cycling. And we're all like, oh, this is really lovely. Jay goes home, but we're doing more cycling and I'm running around the tennis courts with him.
43:49 - 43:58
And then suddenly I feel the real touch of the Nish Kumars. So I'm like, do you want to go home? He's like, yeah, let's try and cycle home. So he cycles home on the pavement, which is great because that's...
43:58 - 44:11
Interruption. When you say the real Nish Kumars, it's a desire to make a really coherent criticism of the government and those in power in a way that simultaneously manages to be informative and funny. Is that what you mean?
44:11 - 44:21
It's pretty much that, but it also could be. I really need a shit. So I go to the loo and actually it's not so bad. I think, okay, maybe I'm okay. So now I go and my bike has been fixed.
44:21 - 44:32
The axle was bussed, the spokes. It was honestly like I was cycling like a static bike. It was really hard to pedal. I just thought I'd had a shit bike. But I go to the bike shop.
44:33 - 44:46
Next door's an off-license. I buy two cans of Asahi because I'm going to have a wild night. And I say, have you got a plastic bag? Because I realized I just got my bike to pick up. And she gives me a long paper bag for a wine bottle where the can is peering at the top.
44:46 - 44:49
And that's not enough to hold these two cans of Asahi while I cycle home.
44:49 - 44:54
It's sort of cool, though, because you can imagine you're a sort of New York City street vagrant.
44:55 - 45:05
Yeah, yeah. That is sort of the vibe I'd like to go for. And I go to the bike shop. They fix the bike and they give me a big plastic bag. So that's great.
45:05 - 45:15
So I sort of attach that to the bike seat. I cycle home. Honestly, it's like a hot knife through butter, this bike. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm just, I'm cruising.
45:15 - 45:27
So many people are cycling just slightly maladjusted bikes. And with five minutes work, they would fall back in love with cycling by simply putting air in the tires.
45:27 - 45:38
Anyway, by the time I get home, I am really in trouble. And I run to the toilet and I feel weak. I've got a real apprehension that this is gastro. Will the whole family get it?
45:39 - 45:48
My forehead is getting hot. But it's awkward because, you know, the babysitter is still here. And I'm like, I'd quite like this to be a kind of private. I mean, she's not in the bathroom with me, but, you know, kids are running around, whatever.
45:48 - 45:49
I am poo-poo.
45:49 - 45:58
I am poo-poo. I literally am poo-poo. It's a disaster. Jamie brings Willie into the toilet and she basically gags. And I'm like, sorry about this.
45:58 - 45:59
Your spleen has come out.
46:00 - 46:07
Full spleen. It's like Operation the Game. And she has to put it back in using a tweezers.
46:08 - 46:13
Using a train set. So Willie goes in the bath. I remain on the toilet.
46:13 - 46:16
Oh, poor guy. Happened to be in the same room as this.
46:16 - 46:27
Yeah. He doesn't seem so fast at this stage. So anyway, then I sort of, I feel a bit better. He has his bath. I know we've got some hydrolites. So I have one of them and I have a peppermint tea, drink some water and think maybe this will be okay.
46:27 - 46:41
I'm not sure. But I'm sad because I've got these two cans of asahi and we've got a Malaysian chicken curry in a box to make. And I'm like, that's not the perfect evening for, it feels more like a beans on toast, you know, or just plain toast night now.
46:41 - 46:45
You could put the powdered electrolyte into the asahi, you know what I mean?
46:45 - 47:00
Yeah, that's a good idea. Sophie goes at five. I make some chicken nuggets. Ian's already had some pasta, but he wants some nuggets. I have one of them just to test. It's not too hot. And actually that goes down okay for me. So that's good. Ian's TV time, I've had to push it back because he's been beating his brother up.
47:01 - 47:05
But eventually we put on Thomas the Tank Engine origin story.
47:05 - 47:16
How a train gained sentience. How his father was the fat controller and his mother was just a regular British rail carriage.
47:16 - 47:30
They fell in love. I don't get to watch too much of it, sadly. But Ian's transfixed. The dishwasher's leaking. So I put a towel down there. I put Willie Downs asleep. We get Ian in the bath. He is absolutely knackered. So we're nearing, like, Willie's asleep.
47:30 - 47:39
Ian's close to being asleep. Okay. But he wants his nails polished. He's got a sparkly new nail polish. He does my toes. And that is about as woke as I go with nail polish.
47:39 - 47:47
It sounds like he's trying to stay awake for as long as possible. And just coming up with new vital things.
47:47 - 47:55
Things need to be done. Fix his dish. I've looked at some YouTube, and I think the pipe just needs to be tightened at the back.
47:55 - 48:04
Anyway, so he does my toes. Then he says, can I do your hands as well? So I've got, like, sort of glittery nail polish. I'll make sure I show that right down the barrel of TalkSport listeners tonight.
48:04 - 48:14
Jay goes to do Ian's bedtime. I'm feeling better. I open an Asahi. We've been making this chicken in a box sort of gradually through the day. So by the time I get to it, it's a bit like I'm doing Saturday Kitchen.
48:14 - 48:29
Like, ginger's grated in a ramekin. Everything's like chopped. It's really nice when you get to that stage. So I make all of that. Jamie comes out. We eat the dinner. It's really nice. We watched two episodes of The Traitors. I have had two cans of Asahi. I eat some dairy milk as well.
48:29 - 48:34
Interruption. It's the question I've never really asked. How much is one of these boxes?
48:34 - 48:46
If we compare it to the price of a lump of ginger, and I realize ginger does look sort of scary when it looks like a sort of voodoo.
48:46 - 48:48
I'm not scared of buying ginger.
48:48 - 48:51
I think you're scared of ginger could be the thing.
48:52 - 48:55
I think it's pretty reasonable. I think it's about
48:55 - 49:06
Probably 20 quid a box. Yeah. You know, we would save money if we had really planned and all these things, but you get like dinner and a lunch out of it, probably.
49:07 - 49:11
I'll get the leftovers for lunch. And we're time poor, David.
49:11 - 49:21
Oh, not this. Like, the fact that you've spent all day doing it, you could have just done that with the actual bits. Garlic, ginger, maybe some onion as well.
49:21 - 49:29
This has really introduced us to fish sauce. We wouldn't have touched that. So it's making us pretty edgy with our eating.
49:29 - 49:35
There's books, there's entire books you can get that aren't novels that are just a recipe on each page.
49:36 - 49:45
Yeah, we love recipe books. They're really lovely to read. Anyway, anyway, we're getting annoyed on the traitors because the way they come to conclusions is just so frustrating.
49:45 - 49:54
I don't know if you've watched it when they're just like, I just can't get over the way you looked at Mary this morning at breakfast. That was traitorous behavior.
49:54 - 49:56
So you're watching non-celeb, rego.
49:56 - 49:58
Non-celeb, rego.
49:58 - 49:59
Rego Brit traitors.
49:59 - 50:08
And we're on series four now. We're on the latest series. Now, annoyingly, I think I know who's won because I had to interview them on TalkSport about two months ago.
50:08 - 50:23
And when they said this person's a guest, I was like, is it possible to not find out the result of traitors before I interview them? They're like, not really. But I've sort of put that to the back of my mind. And I'm still enjoying it. Now, I'm quoting reels to Jamie while we're doing this, and she hates it.
50:23 - 50:27
You're talking about reels that you've seen on your phone?
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That's the worst.
50:28 - 50:35
Well, mainly, my friends have now banned me from forwarding on all of Jake Humphrey's reels to them.
50:35 - 50:36
He's the high-performance guy.
50:36 - 50:48
He's the high-performance guy. And the one that got me banned was one that actually Mars Bar put in our WhatsApp group where he's in his personal gym, and a big thing says, words you needed to hear today.
50:48 - 50:59
And then he says this. Be impossible to ignore. Stand so tall they can't look past you.
51:00 - 51:10
Intoxicate with your presence. Be notorious. Remain on people's minds. Flow so freely they'll be scared of drowning in your thoughts.
51:11 - 51:24
Don't be taken lightly. Be sure of yourself. Be irreplaceable. Move so fast that no one can see where you're going. It actually seems sort of impractical. Give them something to chase, but never let them catch up with you.
51:24 - 51:36
Be more than what they bargained for. Make them question you because you are so good. Burn so brightly that you catch the world on fire. Some music kicks in. And he says, I think those are incredible words.
51:36 - 51:49
You were meant to see this. Double tap the screen for when you need it. So I basically forward all of this to my schoolmates. Most of them don't have Instagram. And eventually just like, please stop sending us these things.
51:49 - 51:51
But I can't stop sending them.
51:52 - 51:58
Because then I find another reel, right? Which is a man on a BMX with a pink beanie on and a big handlebar mustache.
51:58 - 52:02
He's now doing his dreaded reels explaining to us.
52:02 - 52:16
He's got a handlebar mustache. He's got like 150,000 followers. I'm like, ah, he's got like, I'm delivering great content. And he's got so many more. And he's cycling around on a BMX with a selfie stick. And he says, I called up with a friend of mine.
52:17 - 52:31
And she just said to me some words that really stuck with me. These are the times. And she's right. These are the times. It's not about what you're looking for. It's not about that house you'll get or that thing you'll buy.
52:32 - 52:45
Or when these are the times, you know, he sort of cycles around like this. And he goes, look at these. Look at this blossom. This blossom is so beautiful. And there's like this music going, and I'm like, the thing is, I don't totally disagree with the message, right?
52:45 - 52:57
That, you know, you only live once. You might as well have a go. But there's something about it that I just can't stop forwarding these to all my friends. And they're all telling me to fuck off. I send quite a lot to you. It's true.
52:57 - 53:02
They're effectively just a visual version of Live, Laugh, Love.
53:03 - 53:04
Most of them.
53:04 - 53:07
They're a tea towel. And they're all big tea towels.
53:07 - 53:19
Huge tea towels. And, you know, when I consider previous jobs I've had working in the photocopy place or whatever, and just the idea of like, make yourself unignorable.
53:19 - 53:33
Like, how does that work when someone's just like, can I get 200 two-sided copies of this? And me just being like, bada boom, bada bada bada boom, boom, boom. I get fired immediately.
53:33 - 53:36
I was just trying to Jake Humphrey my day.
53:36 - 53:49
You're working at the drive-thru at McDonald's, yeah. And you're moving so fast that no one can see where you're going. And you just knocked everyone else over. And like a massive jar of gherkins is on the floor. And you're like, sorry, I'm being notorious.
53:52 - 54:02
Anyway, they really, I can't get enough of that. Like, I just can't stop myself. Anyway, then I'm drawn to Michael Barrymore, who basically now does, what did you do yesterday in 30 seconds?
54:02 - 54:14
Like, he's taken this concept and made it TikTok. And he's absolutely mesmerizing. And he's obsessed with chili jam. And he keeps a jar of chili jam and a spoon in his pocket.
54:14 - 54:19
It's the fact that he was, before his scandals, was just a high-energy presenter.
54:20 - 54:30
He appears to be just doing his reels in this kind of mid-term. And then I thought a trip to the cafe was in order, where I had a lovely cup of coffee.
54:31 - 54:37
And there's like a shot of the cup of coffee or whatever. Yeah. Because you're waiting for something to happen, I think, is why you're watching it.
54:38 - 54:46
It's the start of the horror movie before. There's like one shot of a goat on fire or something.
54:47 - 55:00
And then he's just doing, what did you just say? Then I had a pizza, had some chili jam, then I went for a walk, then I had some sausages and potatoes, then I went to bed. Good night. Maybe it's me staring at a mirror. I'm looking at that going, really?
55:00 - 55:05
We can't criticize. Then that's it. Then I go to bed.
55:05 - 55:07
We didn't hear how was the box.
55:08 - 55:10
Oh, yeah. Delicious. Delicious and the stomach's fine.
55:11 - 55:13
And I was very nervous about that.
55:15 - 55:17
Well done. The lads are vaccinated.
55:17 - 55:20
Yeah, they're vaccinated. They're all right. Ian can ride a bike.
55:20 - 55:23
That's the main thing from the day, I'm going to say.
55:23 - 55:24
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:24 - 55:26
Not just as a bike guy. Wow.
55:26 - 55:33
And then I said to him, burn so brightly as he's cycling. I'm like, burn so brightly you catch the world on fire. He's like, oh, what?
55:33 - 55:44
Your wife did send me a picture of him cycling then. But the main thing I took from it was he has a cool black helmet.
55:44 - 55:57
Yeah. Either someone has put a sticker on or it is made by Le Creuset. And I know listener Barca Jim who criticizes us for being middle class C and a bleep.
55:57 - 56:13
Yeah, I did have to say that that I thought the most Melbourne thing I'd ever encountered was the fact that the tech of my show at the comedy festival here is a wonderful man called Ollie who teaches at a very cool school in Melbourne.
56:13 - 56:17
And I asked him what he taught and he said DJing was the first thing.
56:17 - 56:31
I think he does philosophy and politics and stuff, but mostly DJing. And I thought that was the most Melbourne thing until I saw a photo of a boy learning to cycle, effectively wearing a big Le Creuset crockpot on his head.
56:31 - 56:45
A casserole dish. It is a sticker, but like we were worried we weren't middle class enough. So we wanted to make people really know that we are by making Ian ride around with a cycle hat with a Le Creuset sticker on the back.
56:47 - 56:51
Thank you for telling us what you did yesterday, Max.
56:51 - 56:52
That's okay.
56:52 - 57:06
If you, the listeners, would like to get in touch with the podcast for any reason, if you have any ideas for theme rides for the forthcoming What to Do Yesterday theme park, please get in touch.
57:06 - 57:07
And this is how.
57:07 - 57:21
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
57:21 - 57:29
And if you didn't, please don't. Hey, thank you, David. I had a nice time doing this podcast.
57:29 - 57:43
I began not fully awake when I said good morning. I am now ready to burn this day to the ground. Everyone I meet, punch them in the face with pure personality. Thanks, Max.
57:43 - 57:44
Thank you, David.