0:06 - 0:29
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it. They all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man.
0:30 - 0:57
Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
1:00 - 1:11
From the people who bring you What Did You Do Yesterday? This is Midweek Mayhem. I'm Generic Man 3, Max Rushden. And alongside me for the journey, David O'Doherty. Hello, David.
1:11 - 1:22
The 1990 East Leinster Under-14's Triple Jump Bronze Medalist is back. Congratulations. Here I am. Special guest. Me. What was your PB?
1:23 - 1:33
504, which was good. It was best in the school. Okay. But Philip Sedobu was in your county and that was a blow.
1:33 - 1:43
No, the issue was in the pit in University College Dublin where the sort of championships would be, there would be a marker of the world record.
1:44 - 1:54
And it was nine whatever, which is a full four meters pass. I think it's 19 meters. Jonathan Edwards did 18 meters.
1:54 - 2:00
Oh, sorry, triple. I'm talking about long. Oh, you're a multi-event guy. You're like Carl Lewis.
2:00 - 2:08
Yeah, a lot of people cross over from one to the other. Of course. I was the spare guy in the 4x100 as well, but...
2:08 - 2:18
With your little legs. With your little legs and your big body. That's extraordinary. I don't want this Dingley Dell chat for my serious athletic career.
2:19 - 2:29
Just before we go on, your football season, firstly, I'll just let it go that you were just playing against a crappy team in your crappy Melbourne League.
2:29 - 2:35
And then it turns out one of them had played 20 times for Brazil. And won Copa America in 2007.
2:38 - 2:48
Seems harsh. Probably the best footballer in Australia, like CV-wise. Juan Mat is here at the moment, but yeah, probably the, you know, the second best footballing CV.
2:49 - 2:56
And he's standing on a pitch in Docklands, just pinging the ball around 51. And you, your little bone-on-bone leg is just...
2:58 - 3:11
As you run up the wing. There's the distant sound of bone-on-bone. I'd say in 2007, when he won Copa America, the difference in quality between him and I was greater than it is now.
3:11 - 3:14
Oh, yeah. We're not at the same level. He's clearly a better footballer than me.
3:14 - 3:20
But like, if I keep on playing, there might come a time where I'm better than him because he's dead.
3:21 - 3:28
Unless I go first, of course. You turning up at his old folks home with a ball as he just says.
3:28 - 3:39
Knocking on the door. Can Monero come out to play, please? No. You jink it round his walking frame and you're like, see, told you.
3:41 - 3:45
The hare and the tortoise. There you go. Now, we have a live show in Melbourne.
3:45 - 3:49
I saw you posted about it yesterday, which makes me think we're not sold out, David.
3:49 - 3:55
Do you have news? Yes. We have sold some more tickets till the last time.
3:55 - 4:04
We wouldn't be quite at what you might call half full yet. Okay. But we're over a third full.
4:04 - 4:09
Okay. Can they dress the room in a way or do we really need some people?
4:09 - 4:13
In order to dress it, they would have to get loads of mannequins, I feel.
4:13 - 4:20
All of the department stores of Melbourne will need your mannequins. We'll fill the balcony with mannequins.
4:20 - 4:27
No, there's still over a month to go. If we can get this up to two thirds, it's going to look fine.
4:27 - 4:33
And we haven't announced who our guest is. And they're one of the best Australian comedians there is.
4:34 - 4:37
Yes. But we can't say who they are yet. I think that's fair enough. Yes.
4:38 - 4:43
We can say that much. Okay. There will be a guest. It's not just us doing this, complaining.
4:43 - 4:50
And he or she is one of the best comedians. And so, yeah. Get your tickets to avoid disappointment.
4:51 - 4:59
Yeah. In the Michelle Wolf episode where you were desperately trying to think of Bad Bunny's name and referred to him as Funny Boy.
4:59 - 5:06
Yeah. This guest we have could, Funny Boy, I feel could be his or her nickname.
5:07 - 5:10
Okay. There was a message about Funny Boy. We'll get to it. Oh, no. I've got it here.
5:10 - 5:14
It says, Hi, Max, David. Mars Bar, Will and Co. Back in the very early days of Midweek Mayhem.
5:15 - 5:25
Number four, according to EverythingIsShowbiz.com, listener Niall from Gateshead spotted that Max's infamous declaration that gave the website its name was a direct quote from the title character in Springtime for Hitler.
5:26 - 5:36
The fictitious show within the producers that Max Bialystok and Leo Bloom stage in a deliberate attempt to produce a flop so that they can keep the money raised.
5:36 - 5:41
This, of course, backfires when the show is an unintentional hit, leaving them, for want of a better phrase, in it for life.
5:41 - 5:53
And Niall's suggestion back in January 2025 was that Max Rushden, not Bialystok, had made a Freudian slip and accidentally revealed the secret scheme that had resulted in a podcast about people repeatedly going to get a latte in Brighton.
5:53 - 6:01
It was a great idea, but surely just a coincidence. There's no chance Max would accidentally do exactly the same thing a year or so later.
6:01 - 6:10
Fast forward to the Michelle Wolf episode and a mention of the Grammys, prompting Max to misremember the name of the winner, Bad Bunny, much to David's amusement as Funny Boy.
6:10 - 6:23
Funny Boy being, of course, the musical version of Hamlet that Max Bialystok has just staged in the opening scene of the producer's screenshot attached, the first night failure, which sets him off on the infamous plot.
6:23 - 6:30
Funny Boy, a musical version of Hamlet. Everything is indeed showbiz. Keep up the good work and creative accounting from Robbie.
6:30 - 6:38
Holy shit. Sometimes I think you're just floundering off the top of your head. But in fact, there's an incredible plan.
6:38 - 6:50
The wheels are whirring in the background. This pod is like Brewster's Millions. And somebody said, if you can create a pod about people doing their laundry that people like, I'll give you 50 million pounds.
6:50 - 6:56
But you have to keep David O'Doherty in it for his entire life. When he dies, I get the 50 million pounds.
6:56 - 7:06
And that's what's happening here. Liam Batley says, Dear Generic Man 3, DOD and Mars Bar, it is a bit rich of Max to complain about DOD spoiling episodes in advance.
7:06 - 7:13
When he made reference to the roadworks in Hitchin before the start of the original episode.
7:14 - 7:19
Like VAR and handball. Let's have some consistency, eh, Max? Listener, since the Nish shits hints.
7:20 - 7:25
Everything is showbiz. B.O.C. Liam Batley. Yeah. Thank you. I apologize to everybody.
7:26 - 7:31
Again, I would also like to come back to the fact that people can change.
7:31 - 7:36
And we have changed. And while this podcast was quite scatological at the start. It was, yeah.
7:36 - 7:41
We barely even mentioned that stuff. And we've no interest in it anymore. No, you're right.
7:41 - 7:46
I think maybe at the start, we were concerned there wasn't enough material in a day.
7:46 - 7:52
So we'd ask really detailed questions about, you know, and then you're into the bathroom and tell us about your movements, please.
7:52 - 7:57
You know, comedian mate of David. And now we realize that it takes us about an hour to get to 8 a.m.
7:57 - 8:02
So we probably need to get a rattle on. We don't need to find out where each guest went to the toilet.
8:02 - 8:08
Annalise says, Michelle Wolf, best episode ever as a mother of two young kids. The sleeping, the dice and the coffee.
8:08 - 8:15
I feel seen. I love all the parent episodes. Thank you, Annalise. And this message is from James in Sydney.
8:15 - 8:20
He says, hi, Max, David, etc. I was listening to the Michelle Wolf episode on the way into the office.
8:20 - 8:25
I got in early. I'm sitting in an empty office at my computer and the power goes off.
8:25 - 8:30
There's a Sparky doing something with the meters for the whole floor. Soon enough, the power goes back on.
8:30 - 8:35
The lights and Wi-Fi are back, but not my under desk power. I hear the electrician packing up.
8:35 - 8:38
So I ask if there's still one more switch to turn back on or something.
8:38 - 8:42
He says it should all be on. And he's parked illegally, so can't stay to help.
8:42 - 8:48
Not his problem. So I start poking around the office, looking quizzically at power boards, trying to trace cords back to origin points.
8:48 - 8:53
Then I find the fuse box in the back cupboard. Four switches on, one switch off.
8:53 - 8:58
I'll let your imagination fill in the rest. I can confirm up equals on, down equals off.
8:59 - 9:05
I'd say there was about 15 minutes between listening to that bit in the episode and me staring at a fuse box with a single off switch.
9:05 - 9:11
Center of the known universe and all that. In it for life. Or at least until our time starts back up, says James from Sydney.
9:12 - 9:24
Wow. So if you have any problem, electrical building, et cetera, another option, rather than going straight to YouTube or putting it into a search engine, is just listen to 15 minutes of this podcast.
9:24 - 9:30
Any 15 minutes. And chances are we will deal with it. I didn't realize we had that capability.
9:31 - 9:35
We have a lot of power. You know, and it's what we do with this power, David.
9:35 - 9:43
Yeah. Can I just say a line that's really stayed with me was on the last Midweek Mayhem.
9:43 - 9:49
I think it was the last one that you did. And we're excited to hear about your yesterday later in this episode.
9:49 - 9:56
It was totally unlike any of my other yesterdays. Yeah, but just, I love the idea of being woken by a child with the line.
9:56 - 10:10
It isn't nighttime anymore. Every alarm clock should have that. Instead of ding-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling, it should just be newsflash.
10:10 - 10:17
Well, I don't want to, you know, preempt what happens, but there was quite a turn of events on that exact subject yesterday morning.
10:17 - 10:23
But we'll get to that. Orla, I believe. O-R-L-A-I-T-H writes. Orla. Hi, David. Max and Mars Bar.
10:24 - 10:27
As someone who lives in Cork but travels to Dublin regularly to visit elderly parents.
10:28 - 10:33
I'm constantly looking for ways to keep my eight-year-old son entertained in the car by something that isn't a screen.
10:33 - 10:40
Imagine my delight when I discover your podcast. Uh oh. For well over a year now, Donncha and I have listened every Saturday.
10:40 - 10:45
And his eyes have been open to the mundane but funny happenings of life. So far, so sweet.
10:47 - 10:58
We can all see where this is going. The Sam Campbell episode is his favorite, and I wince slightly when he shouted shit out loud for his first time, strangely enough, in an Australian accent.
10:58 - 11:06
And, of course, every time Max says bollocks, he joins in. And now also thinks it's appropriate to steal tins of food from neighbors' kitchens when you're too lazy to go to the shop.
11:06 - 11:16
Not great, but I justify it as gentle exposure to reality. But nothing prepared me for a recent episode where David took offense at something and started shouting, Go fuck yourself several times.
11:16 - 11:22
Oh, no. I reached for the volume, but it was too late. My son, the center of my universe, uttered the unforgettable words.
11:24 - 11:33
Mom, is fucking yourself like shitting yourself? I detest you all until the next podcast drops, and then I'll remember that I'm in it for life.
11:34 - 11:48
Bollocks. Orla. I'm sorry, Orla. Oh, dear. I mean, I guess we could do more of a PG version of this, but we need the option to, you know, things happen sometimes on this podcast.
11:48 - 11:57
Yeah, no, I really think this is a great way to expose, as Orla says, young people to swearing and all of human life.
11:57 - 12:03
I think it's the most gentle way. I think there are worse ways. I don't think this is why there would be a social media ban for children.
12:04 - 12:09
Yeah. I think it's a good way in. What about putting your willy into a Dyson?
12:10 - 12:19
Which episode was that? Michelle Wolf. Oh, yeah. Swirl it round. Oh, dear. Yeah, it's a lot of chats.
12:19 - 12:26
A lot of baby hoovers. Where do hoovers come from, daddy? Well, Louise and Georgina say they're in Malta.
12:26 - 12:35
Oh, lovely. Dear Doddles, Generic Man 3 and Mars Bar. Yesterday, just to ensure I'm within the bounds of the podcast rules, I woke up at approximately 8 a.m. and went about an exciting day.
12:35 - 12:42
In the evening, I attended a wonderful Baroque ball. We dressed in incredible finery, powdered wigs and lead-free makeup.
12:42 - 12:51
Wow. During the lavish banquet, a string quartet were playing, and suddenly the melodious tones of Bach's air on the G-string, filled with the Maltese palazzo we were being hosted in.
12:51 - 12:58
All I could hear while scoffing my suckling pig were Max and David podcasts. There are millions of them.
12:59 - 13:04
Some I'd say, too many. Having a little giggle to myself, I thought, what did you do yesterday, is indeed the centre of the known universe.
13:05 - 13:09
And then my phone screen lights up to a text notification from a friend sitting across the room.
13:09 - 13:21
It read only, what did you do yesterday? What once was a trigger for nostalgic thoughts of watching TV at my grandparents and a chap puffing on a Hamlet cigar has now become a shared joke between a couple of friends living in a foreign land,
13:21 - 13:26
attending the most surreal event I've ever attended. I'm sure Bach would be proud. Thank you for the podcast.
13:26 - 13:30
It brings such joy to people in just normal countries across the world. Lots of love.
13:30 - 13:35
Louise and Georgina in Malta. Well, thank you so much for taking the podcast to the Maltese.
13:35 - 13:49
And also, we have to salute producer Mars Bar here because he was the one who time travelled back to the 18th century to find Bach, showed him the potential script that we were going to say as the introvert.
13:49 - 13:55
But yes, and Bach said, let me think about it and came back with that piece of music.
13:55 - 14:05
You're absolutely right. Thanks for writing it for us. I mean, it also means that anybody who has played it at a wedding owes us £2,000.
14:05 - 14:12
Yeah, £2,000. Great. Danny and Kerry, merch ideas. On the Reddit pages, I would go and there's lots of merch ideas, which are good.
14:13 - 14:16
I haven't screen grabbed them yet. But he says, hi guys, long time, first time, good time.
14:16 - 14:21
Half and half football scarf with Rufus Hound, Jordan Henderson. That would be good, wouldn't it?
14:22 - 14:25
It would be so great if you had that. And then people were like, is that Jordan?
14:26 - 14:30
Also, if they didn't quite look like them. That's Jordan Henderson. And who's that Rufus Hound?
14:31 - 14:37
Interestingly, on that, David Squires, the brilliant Guardian cartoonist. Yeah. He messaged me this morning.
14:37 - 14:45
This is funny. It's taken out my whole day. He says, fuck's sake, a mate of mine has independently come up with his own version of the Teddington quiz.
14:46 - 14:51
And then he sent me a screen grab of their conversation. He said, did I tell you I ran into an Oxford fan in Dublin?
14:51 - 14:56
They're Swindon fans. Big rivalry. It was as if we were as excited as each other to trade insults.
14:56 - 15:01
His dad was who? I said, Ray Houghton. And he says, you'll never get it.
15:01 - 15:05
He gave me clues. And I said, Malcolm Shotton. He said, no. Ex-player, no clues.
15:05 - 15:10
He said, annoying, isn't it? He said. I said, I gave clues. He said, inadvertently.
15:10 - 15:16
I said, England player, comedian. I basically gave the answers. Jim Smith. Oxford fan. Has a dad.
15:16 - 15:23
That's all I'm getting. Trevor Hebbard. No. Chris Patton. I was guessing it. And then I guessed Philip Pullman, John Craven, Tim Burton.
15:23 - 15:29
No, no, no. One of the fines. No. Paddy Ashdown. No. Hesseltine. No. This is where I'm stuck at.
15:29 - 15:35
So I'm now bringing it to us. I don't know who it is. I'm getting no clues from David Squires.
15:35 - 15:40
So hang on. The dad played for Oxford. You know. He could have played for him.
15:40 - 15:44
He could be a famous person. But this Swindon fan met an Oxford fan in Dublin.
15:44 - 15:50
And his dad is famous in some way. And that is all we have to go.
15:50 - 15:55
That's all we have to go. And I don't know the answer. So you can't get annoyed with me.
15:55 - 16:02
But David Squires has invented this quiz. And I can't suffer alone. Oh, God. But I narrowed it down.
16:03 - 16:12
Shit quizzes are sweeping across the world. And you are patient zero. All right. Where should we go?
16:13 - 16:15
Oh, we should go to the Just Double Countries. Let's get on with this. Let's play.
16:15 - 16:27
They're just normal countries. I am the one and only. What country could I be?
16:27 - 16:40
I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be? Here we go.
16:40 - 16:50
Let me take a deep breath. Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, U.S. Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino, correct.
16:50 - 16:57
Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji, correct. Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands, correct.
16:57 - 17:04
Belarus, Palau, Aruba, Ecuador, Iraq, Gabon, correct. Eritrea, Andorra, Peru, Reunion, Greenland, the Gambia, Ivory Coast, Bulgaria.
17:05 - 17:08
That's where we're... I mean, basically, we'd nearly run out of country. Surely run out of country.
17:08 - 17:17
It's so hard. Sometimes I think I know the rhythm where the corrects are. In the same way that people try to hit the drum for Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You.
17:18 - 17:26
But I never quite get it right. This is from Joanna. Dear Max, David, Michael, and Will, as the one-year anniversary of They're Just Normal Countries approaches, one year.
17:28 - 17:33
A year. Everybody a year. That's it, a year. How many years do you have?
17:34 - 17:43
Maybe 80. One whole year doing They're Just Normal Countries. I'm finally getting around to submitting my guess, which I've been intending to send you since the very beginning of the quiz.
17:43 - 17:48
I spend each Wednesday holding my breath, convinced that I'm correct and hoping that no one else has stolen my guess.
17:49 - 17:59
My excuse for my lateness is that I've recently had my second baby. I'd also like to add that I was thrilled to join the exclusive club of people who have listened to What Did You Do Yesterday during labor.
17:59 - 18:07
Yes. However, I did have to switch off the Rob Auton episode around the five-minute mark when David began explaining the plot of Speed 2.
18:07 - 18:12
I simply didn't have the capacity to take it in during what indeed turned out to be a very speedy birth experience.
18:13 - 18:20
Perhaps further proof the pod is the center of the universe. How is that the thing that you can't handle?
18:20 - 18:26
How is that? There's so much more tedious things going on in this. Oh, my God.
18:26 - 18:34
What is the country? I want this to end more than any of you. Yeah, but who's the Oxford famous Oxford person?
18:35 - 18:45
Back to my guess. My reasoning behind it is I once visited this country on a research trip and there was little or no mobile or internet signal to be found.
18:45 - 18:52
After losing my only book, I spent my days re-listening to downloaded podcasts. Mostly my dad wrote a porno, if you're interested.
18:52 - 18:57
And so logically, I'm wondering if an avid What Did You Do Yesterday fan may have done the same.
18:57 - 19:03
There have been a couple of successful guesses from the same region and it's also usually a good answer on Pointless, which I feel bodes well.
19:03 - 19:09
My guess is the Solomon Islands. If I'm wrong, this will be one of the most drawn-out disappointments of my life so far.
19:09 - 19:15
In it for life, everything is showbiz. Joanna. Producer Will, is the Solomon Islands a normal country?
19:15 - 19:26
Come on, please. Ah! How many listens in there? Three! At the time of when the quiz began, there had been three listens in the Solomon Islands.
19:26 - 19:31
So there we are. How exciting. So there we go. How did you lose your book?
19:31 - 19:36
That was the interesting part to that. Might have put it down somewhere and then left the cafe.
19:37 - 19:46
It's possible. Yeah. Loads of ways to lose a book. They're not big things. No, I'd say it was like a little monkey came down from a tree and ran off with it.
19:46 - 19:51
Something like that. Yeah, very literate monkey. And now it's the cleverest monkey in the Solomon Islands.
19:53 - 20:00
No, because the book was some sort of quiz book and it just runs down from the trees now and asks tourists.
20:03 - 20:13
I have a question for you, Monson. Yeah. What time did you wake up at yesterday and was it with a child asking you or saying it isn't nighttime anymore?
20:13 - 20:21
Well, interesting because it's 5.25am, everybody, and Willie Rushden wakes up. Now, his sleep is improving, guys.
20:22 - 20:27
You know, he's sleeping in long chunks. Jamie's having to feed him so much. He's going to sleep by himself.
20:27 - 20:32
These are all great things. But he's excited about the day, so he gets up early.
20:32 - 20:37
Now, 5.25, Jamie feeds him because he might go back to sleep if he gets an early morning feed.
20:37 - 20:48
And I lie there. Interruption. David. In the Michelle Wolf episode, she wakes up with children broadly a similar age to yours.
20:48 - 20:54
Yeah. One each side of her. Yeah. And I think she wakes up at 8. Yeah.
20:55 - 21:00
How did that make you feel? Well, I think they're up a lot later. Yeah.
21:00 - 21:11
So we get the benefit of getting them to sleep around 7, 7.30. But I don't get the benefit of that because as soon as it gets to 7 or 7.30, I have to come to this fucking shed and talk to people like you.
21:14 - 21:21
It's the cracks that the light shines through. And occasionally, you just get a glimpse of what is actually going on in Max's brain.
21:22 - 21:28
I love it. Yes. So anyway, okay. So 6 o'clock in the morning, he's awake. I take him to the living room.
21:29 - 21:35
Jamie goes into Ian's room. Jamie goes to bed in Ian's bed. And Ian wants to get up, right?
21:35 - 21:41
So Ian from the, it's, what was the exact quote he said? It isn't nighttime anymore.
21:42 - 21:45
He's gaslighting me. He now says, the stars are out, so we have to go back to bed.
21:50 - 21:54
But he's awake. So he keeps going back to bed and then getting up because he's awake.
21:54 - 22:00
But it's 6 o'clock in the morning. So that's okay. So you've got to take 6. He goes in, makes himself some hot milk.
22:00 - 22:04
You know what I mean? He's just like, I'm going to go back for a few hours.
22:04 - 22:09
Exactly. I'll just try and grab a bit more. Should I? Yeah. So Jamie's having a bit of a sleep.
22:09 - 22:14
I am playing with the boys. We're playing Mobilo. Willie takes one of Ian's propellers.
22:14 - 22:23
That's the big drama. So don't do that. Willie is very excited to be near Ian, but occasionally sort of like just sort of falls onto him.
22:23 - 22:27
And he might have a propensity to bite, but it's not too painful yet. Interruption.
22:27 - 22:36
Second interruption. David. I'm sorry. It's similar to the first one. The relationship of Michelle's children, where one has failed to acknowledge the other.
22:36 - 22:45
So funny. It's really good. Yeah. Like two people who both being hired by the same law firm, you know what I mean?
22:45 - 22:52
Who just, they're fighting for the same cases. Your lot are very different in this regard.
22:52 - 23:02
Yeah. They are. They're a team. Intertwined. They're a team. Yeah. And sometimes they're, you know, they don't always get along, but you know, they are fighting for the same team.
23:02 - 23:10
And that is mainly against me is how I sort of feel it. Their relationship is more kind of an oaf and as idiot sidekick.
23:10 - 23:20
Is that fair to say? We think we talked about this. We had their passport photos done and it looks very much like, you know, Ian gets 40 years for murder.
23:20 - 23:25
And Willie just gets eight years because he's thick. You know, he's just like a compass.
23:25 - 23:30
That's they're the faces that they are pulling. Willie had the getaway car in reverse.
23:30 - 23:35
And when Ian ran out with the loot, he just reversed it to a load of shopping trelleys.
23:36 - 23:42
Into a fruit and veg stall. Exactly. They're just covered in watermelons. Exactly right. Anyway.
23:43 - 23:47
So now we've, we've moved back to the mama dad abed and we're reading stories.
23:47 - 23:57
And Ian wants a really odd story about a bear who turns out to be a and he wants it over and over again, but it's sort of odd book.
23:57 - 24:03
Anyway, Willie gets out of the bed and he's just doing laps of the bed and pulling the bedside lights onto the floor by the side.
24:03 - 24:09
And me and Ian are really books in the bed. So that's fine because you can just pick the bedside light up and put it on.
24:09 - 24:19
They're plastic bedside lights. Yeah. I'm seeing, because I've put a huge sum of money on Willie because he started walking so early becoming an international athlete.
24:19 - 24:25
Yeah. Yeah. I'm now noticing. Oh, laps of the bed. Is it Steve cram? Well, it's interesting.
24:25 - 24:31
And we have such a big bed that it's exactly 400 meters. He's doing it in 44.7 seconds at the moment.
24:31 - 24:37
So it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's seven o'clock in the morning. Cambridge United already won the up against Colchester.
24:38 - 24:43
So I stick that up on the laptop. James Brophy hits the post. That could have put us two up.
24:43 - 24:47
Colchester equalized. You know, that's a bit of a shame. I'm making porridge for the boys.
24:47 - 24:52
And for me, John Aldridge. I haven't guessed John Aldridge yet. Played for Oxford. Yeah.
24:52 - 24:58
And sorry, John Aldridge played for Ireland. So it's possible his family might be over.
24:58 - 25:02
You know, there's a few tie-ins there. I just reckon he'd make his kids Liverpool fans.
25:03 - 25:09
Yeah. Anyway, I've tasted David Squires. He was last seen an hour ago, but you see what he comes back with.
25:09 - 25:15
I'm making porridge. Obviously make it on the hob. It's much better. Ian has it in a bowl, but he wants it in that sort of bottle called a Subo.
25:15 - 25:20
So I transfer it from the bowl into the Subo. Then he wants the Subo that Willie has.
25:20 - 25:25
So I have to take the lids and swap the lids. Jamie's up. We get them dressed.
25:26 - 25:36
I'm going to take them to kinder. So Jamie can have a morning off. So we get, I think Ian is on the scooter and I'm pushing Willie in the pram.
25:36 - 25:41
And so we scoot down to the tram stop and the tram is London rush hour busy.
25:41 - 25:49
I've never seen it like this. So we get in and we sit on the floor and Ian is very excited about how many people there are on the tram.
25:49 - 25:53
And he's like, there are so many people on the tram. And some people are finding this.
25:53 - 26:05
Yes, David. Can I ask a question here? So Melbourne has trams that are like ones from streetcar named desire, but then it also has more modern silver trams as well.
26:05 - 26:10
We're in the modern number 11. Okay, fine. I would prefer if you were in one of the wooden.
26:10 - 26:14
I know, but we're in a, we're in the modern 11. Okay. We sit on the floor.
26:15 - 26:17
Ian is very excited about the number of people. Some people are finding this cute.
26:17 - 26:22
Some are not because you know, they're commuting. Anyway, so he starts counting all the people.
26:25 - 26:34
And occasionally he'll get to like 29 and then say 2010 and then go back through the twenties again, unless you get him out of this loop, then he'll get on to 60, 70, 80, 90, So that's good.
26:35 - 26:42
So we get into the kinder. It's a great kinder. We love it. And you have to bring two pieces of fruit or veg and put them in the basket.
26:43 - 26:47
There's slim pickings in our house. We just got two carrots. That seems a bit, you know, some pineapple.
26:48 - 26:53
Yeah. We just chucked in two carrots. It's terrible. But someone has left, someone's just left a bag of celery.
26:54 - 26:58
So we're like, okay, we're not the worst here. You know, I don't make a point of saying bag of celery.
26:58 - 27:03
That's shit. But Ian runs to the train set. There's a kid there and someone's mom.
27:03 - 27:07
He's only just joined this. I don't know who they are, but anyway, he starts telling the mom where he wants the trains to be.
27:08 - 27:14
I'm like, great. He's happy. I leave. I take Willie to glorious the cafe. I get a long black.
27:14 - 27:18
It's great. Friend of mine, Raf turns up. She's there with her daughter. We have a nice chat.
27:19 - 27:25
Mainly about how difficult it's going to be for Jamie. Cause I'm flying to the UK tomorrow for two weeks.
27:25 - 27:31
Oh God. On my own. And Willie is spending the whole time doing laps of the table.
27:31 - 27:37
So, you know, please note. Yeah. Note to the lad there. He's doing laps of the table and trying to leave the cafe.
27:38 - 27:45
Raf is very good. So some people good with babies, some, you know, even though she's got a three year old herself, she picks Willie up and she's like fine with him.
27:45 - 27:48
I'm like, this is great. Cambridge Colts has to finish his one all, which is good.
27:48 - 27:52
Cause I feel like if it was just me and Willie, it's like, I don't mind that I'm watching this football match.
27:53 - 27:55
Raf might be like, what are you doing? Doing this when you should be parenting.
27:55 - 28:10
So I shut the laptop. That game's finished. Just if you could just say to Willie, I saw Michael Johnson recently and he was criticizing contemporary runners, their technique that you can use the arms as part of the pivot.
28:10 - 28:18
Cause he used to run with his fists quite high and then sort of use the power down to drive the knee up.
28:18 - 28:25
At the moment, Willie is, he's quite often got a big plastic knife in one hand, sort of bigger than him.
28:26 - 28:30
Looks like the shining. The baton. Yes. And an empty kinder egg, sort of the plastic bit.
28:30 - 28:36
And then when he trips over, he's going to just stop his fall. So he'll, he'll hit his nose on the floor.
28:36 - 28:41
So like he's, his form isn't perfect. I would say Michael Johnson, he'd tear him to shreds.
28:42 - 28:49
I'm not walking around Edinburgh gardens, which is a lovely spot. We've been there before together, David, about nine, about nine 15.
28:49 - 28:53
Now I ring my parents, check they're okay. Yeah. My dad has a new idea for a quiz show.
28:56 - 29:07
Yeah. Okay. It's going to be something like you get blacksmiths. It's called, how much do you know about my job?
29:07 - 29:17
Okay. And you get people like proper jobs, you know, candle makers and blacksmiths and they get members of the public.
29:17 - 29:23
And they quiz them as to, is that the idea? It's not the idea. So my dad is 86, 87 next week.
29:23 - 29:31
He's basically says the old people occasionally just can't remember the name of the, I mean, we know this, they can't remember the name of the person.
29:31 - 29:38
So he's come up with a quiz show called nominative dysphagia, because that's what the issue is as you get older.
29:38 - 29:49
And on Tuesday, they ask all the contestants are 85 and over. And on Tuesday night, they all get asked the questions and then they can come back on Wednesday and answer the questions.
29:55 - 30:03
I think it's a really good idea. Wow. That is really good. Actually. Get Oswald.
30:03 - 30:09
We'll get Oswald back on. I just pitched him solidly for an hour. The other day we were talking about the traitors.
30:10 - 30:15
And so my mom qualifies the traitors. My dad does, but he's not a huge Claudia Winkleman fan.
30:15 - 30:21
And his reasoning was, she doesn't have the range of Alec Guinness, which I know.
30:25 - 30:31
He just wanted to tell an anecdote about kind hearts and coronet. He just wanted to read a line as if he was Alec Guinness.
30:32 - 30:40
So his way of crowbarring this anecdote in was to compare Claudia Winkleman on the traitors to Alec Guinness in kind hearts and coronets.
30:40 - 30:45
Anyway. So we talk about that and we say it's funny. And he admits that he's been busted.
30:46 - 30:53
Okay. I've been walking for 45 minutes, 9.58. Willie falls asleep. That's good because I'm doing a handover with Jamie because I'm in the car.
30:54 - 31:04
Because I, David, I'm driving to Bentley East to buy $250 of Brio train set for Ian's birthday for a Peruvian man called Henry off Facebook Marketplace.
31:06 - 31:15
So $250 worth of, oh my God. I mean, this does sound like some sort of a dodgy deal.
31:15 - 31:21
It's not a dodgy deal. No, here's the thing. New Brio train sets are, it's like Lego.
31:21 - 31:27
They're insanely expensive. Right. But Brio lasts forever. Like Brio is like, if you get good.
31:27 - 31:32
It's the wooden one. It's the wooden one. Yeah. And Ian, he loves it. Right.
31:32 - 31:35
He does it all day. Goes to Kinder, does it all day there, comes back, does it all day here.
31:36 - 31:39
If you ask him what he's done at Kinder, he says, I just did a train set.
31:39 - 31:46
Then we get photos and he's like, you know, he's jumping on an inflatable ball, but there's no mention of these things that he does, but he doesn't remember them.
31:46 - 31:53
But if you get on Facebook market, but I think you could make thousands if you bought all the stuff, because people are just like, I've got all this stuff.
31:53 - 31:56
I don't need any more. I want to get rid of it. I got like a bootful.
31:57 - 32:02
I've got a bootful of Brio. This is great. The car has never been, if they'd nicked the Subaru now, it would be worth double.
32:03 - 32:15
It does sound like what you text to your dealer though, so that the cops wrote, the Peruvian man has $250 worth of Brio tradesmen.
32:15 - 32:26
Yeah. If you open each engine inside Percy, there's, you know, 10 grams of heroin and inside Gordon, because Gordon's a longer train, you can actually get, you can get 15 grams of,
32:26 - 32:30
you know, crack cocaine in there. On the way there, I listened to, what did you do yesterday?
32:30 - 32:39
Great alumnus, Kelly Cates, talking about the football. Henry's really nice. And the best train, you can pour a little bit of water in and press a button, and it spurts that water like a steam train.
32:40 - 32:46
Yeah. So it's not just. Track. Yeah. Loads of track then. Track, trains, bridges, like everything.
32:46 - 32:52
It's yeah, it's great. It's great. He's going to lose his mind. Okay. On the way home, I listened to a bit of the Michelle Wolf episode.
32:52 - 32:59
I think we'd make a good podcast. Cause I don't listen to all the episodes because I was there, you know, I stop at Ophelia.
32:59 - 33:05
I get a strong three quarter flat white and a chicken Caesar foccacia, which is toasted is absolutely delicious.
33:06 - 33:11
I watch all the champions league highlights. Then I pick up to take away a slice of the best chocolate cake in Melbourne.
33:11 - 33:15
I drive home. I give the cake to Jamie. Willie is eating pasta and beans.
33:15 - 33:20
I eat some cake. Jamie goes out. She's put her back out. The timing is bad.
33:20 - 33:26
Oh no. Because I'm off to London. She's gone to get a mass, a remedial massage.
33:26 - 33:35
I get Willie in the bath and bars can be hit and miss. Sometimes you put him in, you leave the room and he follows you out and waters everywhere.
33:35 - 33:38
Yeah. And sometimes he stays in for long enough for me to clean the kitchen.
33:38 - 33:45
You spend a lot of time on your hands and knees with wet wipes, like just picking up pasta and beans.
33:45 - 33:52
Is he in the bath or is he in the sink? He is now. Yeah, but we don't have, we don't have like a flake bath.
33:52 - 33:59
We basically have a plastic bucket in the shower. We just don't have space. We don't have a bath, you know?
33:59 - 34:02
Got it. He's in a little plastic tub, but he's playing with some wooden spoons.
34:02 - 34:11
He's having a great time. I'm on my hands and knees with a wet wipe, picking up beans and pasta, thinking, ah, this is a bit I won't miss.
34:11 - 34:22
You know, the joys of parenting are, I mean, as listeners will know to this podcast, I love every second of it, but the hands and knees pushing rice around the floor with a wet wipe.
34:22 - 34:28
It's disappointing. Okay. Nap time. He naps, I nap. Suddenly it's 10 past three in the afternoon.
34:29 - 34:32
Jamie gets us up. I eat the remains of the cake. Jamie is eating all the icing.
34:32 - 34:38
She's basically left a kind of small block of the middle of the cake and all the griffits have disappeared.
34:38 - 34:43
But our relationship works on that basis. And so the cake is still very moist.
34:44 - 34:51
I'm very happy about it. With you going away, what do you do? Have you left some treats around the place?
34:51 - 35:01
You know what I mean? I haven't done that yet. And I've sort of got to do that tomorrow morning before I fly, but there's nothing I can do from make up the fact that I will be in the flat that we lived in for 10 years.
35:01 - 35:10
So she knows the cafes that are closed. She knows all our friends. And there's just a disparity between the mom and the dad that she could not, because Willie is still breastfeeding.
35:10 - 35:16
She just couldn't go away for that long. And in terms of fairness of life, she does not see this as fair.
35:17 - 35:23
And I understand her feelings. And I'm not just saying that because I know she'll be hearing this while I'm away.
35:23 - 35:30
But Jamie, I love you very much. And I do understand. I do understand why you don't see it's fair.
35:30 - 35:38
Jamie, when Max comes to Dublin for the live, what did you do yesterday? He'll be doing on this trip.
35:38 - 35:46
We will make sure we have no crack whatsoever. And rest assured, I will put some pasta and beans over my floor.
35:46 - 35:51
And I'll send you a video of him on all fours with a wet wipe.
35:51 - 35:59
We'll have no crack, but I will bring the red engine James. And I just in case we want some crack and we can just open him up and I'll have a little bit.
35:59 - 36:05
A little bit in there. Yeah. That was me doing the, uh, what do you call the things?
36:05 - 36:11
Peruvian blow. The band pipes. Yeah. Now I refer you to the WhatsApp group, David.
36:12 - 36:19
If you could go to the WhatsApp group for what did you do yesterday? I sent you a picture of a train, a Brio train.
36:19 - 36:24
Oh yeah. So it's a green and yellow train with a big square head, smiling person.
36:24 - 36:33
And Jamie is convinced that this train looks exactly like me. Is he a knockoff Thomas type train?
36:34 - 36:39
I don't think he's a knockoff Thomas. I think he's just part of the crew and they all look a bit like Thomas.
36:39 - 36:46
He does look a bit like, yeah. So she is really excited to have, she's been to all the trains, cleaned them.
36:46 - 36:55
And she's found one that looks just like me. Right. So now we're at about four in the afternoon.
36:55 - 37:03
I think Jamie's off to get Ian. I'm making dinner in a box. Yeah. So it is pork mince stir fry with sort of sweet chili sauce.
37:03 - 37:07
Hoover it all up into the Dyson. Yeah. Let it all swirl around. Yeah. Yeah.
37:07 - 37:12
Yeah. Yeah. Hope that no one has recently jeezed in the Dyson before you get your dinner out of the Dyson.
37:13 - 37:25
Willie's there. He's either grabbing my legs or he's in one arm. So it does make chopping green beans a more laborious endeavor, but you just have to go, listen, I'm going to do one bean at a time with a knife and hold Willie and then put them in.
37:25 - 37:35
That's fine. I do the bins. There is some controversy over the recycling bins because when we were in the UK, our yellow bin recycling bin disappeared.
37:36 - 37:41
And our next door neighbor, who I'd be amazed if she listens to this podcast, had taken the bin.
37:42 - 37:46
And so the guy who was like staying in our house was like, I think she took the bin.
37:46 - 37:49
So I was like, okay, I got back. I was like, I'll just order a new bin.
37:49 - 37:54
And then our bin appeared. So now there are three recycling bins between two houses.
37:54 - 38:00
But like sometimes it's sort of on our nature strip. Sometimes it's in our front garden, but sometimes she just takes it.
38:02 - 38:04
So then I'm like, do I take it back or do I leave it there?
38:04 - 38:09
I don't know what's the vibe here, but what I want to do is fill up that bin before I fill my own bin.
38:09 - 38:14
Yeah. Cause we got loads of recycling. Cause we've just got, you know, you have kids, everything is in cardboard, whatever.
38:15 - 38:20
Yellow is such, is the wrong color for a recycling bin. The recycling bin should be green.
38:21 - 38:26
Obviously. No green is the green waste bin. So green is for your plants and your food.
38:26 - 38:31
That's brown waste. So that should be brown. I mean, quite a lot of it is green.
38:32 - 38:36
I can't complain to the council. Like it's, that was here before we got there.
38:36 - 38:40
I just have to accept it. It's just so wrong though. This would be like, oh, the coal top.
38:41 - 38:45
That's the one with the little red symbol on top of it. I think that's a stretch.
38:45 - 38:54
I have the same thing with Great Britain. And in Ireland, solviting are blue, cheese and onion are red.
38:54 - 38:59
That's how you know them. All the Irish brands. And then I go to Britain.
38:59 - 39:05
Sure. I'll have a cheeky bag of crisps as I tilt them into my massive pelican face.
39:07 - 39:15
I've been done again. Cause the colors are wrong. Similar to these colors. Yeah. The best salt vinegar here are Smith's Crinkle.
39:15 - 39:21
They're pink. Oh, that's bananas. Pink is prawn cocktail. Obviously. I agree with that. I agree with that.
39:21 - 39:29
Anyway. So, um, I've chopped up the veg, I've sauteed the mints. Willie and I roll a golf ball around for 20 minutes.
39:29 - 39:34
And then he's got a little trolley that he pushes along, helps with his walking.
39:34 - 39:39
We've got a brick in it. So it doesn't flip up and hit me. As always, we finished with a bit of music.
39:39 - 39:51
So we get the little xylophone and the symbols out. And we put on my discover weekly playlist and it has perfect by the lightning seeds and, um, an Annie Lennox song.
39:52 - 39:58
Wow. Not why, not walking on broken glass. Do you guys attempt to play along with it?
39:58 - 40:02
I am intrigued by this. Do you pull out the clarinet and just wail a solo?
40:03 - 40:10
You have placed a chill in my heart. You have placed a chill in my heart.
40:10 - 40:15
That one. Well, I like to keep the beat. This is what I do. I like to get a maracas and just go.
40:16 - 40:20
Yeah. And then whatever I'm holding, Willie takes off me and then hurls on the floor.
40:20 - 40:25
Sometimes gets me around the shin. So then I pick up a different thing. And that sort of, we sort of repeat that process.
40:26 - 40:30
Ian returns. He doesn't like music. He's a sort of iconoclast. So the music goes off.
40:30 - 40:40
We do some train track. They're having pasta for dinner. Now, a big highlight of the, uh, fun play with the kids is, uh, all the cushions from the sofa on the floor.
40:40 - 40:44
Yeah. And Willie and I are jumping. We're all jumping into them. Sort of head first.
40:45 - 40:49
Me, Ian and Willie. Then Willie and I start really sort of jumping, headbutting the cushions.
40:49 - 40:55
And this is fun, but there is a catch because I am 46. I know what is a cushion and what isn't a cushion.
40:55 - 41:00
Oh yeah. So when Willie dives and just headbutts the floor. Oh no. Hang on.
41:01 - 41:06
You haven't introduced the $250 worth of Brio. Oh no, that's a birthday present. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:06 - 41:10
Is there a chance though? He'd be like, I'm just going to grab something from the car.
41:10 - 41:18
And you suddenly have to be like, no, no, we'll, the car's gone. No, I've hidden it on the top of the wardrobe in his bedroom, but I've put a towel over it.
41:18 - 41:25
He won't, he won't be able to see it. He listens to this podcast. I was going to say, if he listens to this next week, then they play it in the kinder.
41:26 - 41:33
They blast it at the kinder. Willie's head hurts because he's head by the floor.
41:34 - 41:40
He's fine. They do this all the time. Jamie takes Willie to feed. Ian and I watch quite a lot of the Paw Patrol movie, which is nice.
41:40 - 41:51
Then Jamie takes Ian to bed. Interruption. Yeah. Because Paw Patrol, I've always found when I watch it, it's quite 2D.
41:51 - 41:57
Let's just say that we don't, there isn't much character depth. Does it get a bit more in the movie?
41:57 - 42:02
Like Chase has a bit of a wobble about whether he really is, you know, fit for Paw Patrol.
42:02 - 42:10
Liberty is a real sort of coming of age moment for Liberty. The mayor Humdinger is a bit nastier than he is in the cartoons.
42:10 - 42:20
You know, it's like the James Bond films when they went slightly dark. And it's just, James is just drinking too much, like on a package holiday, just punching the table.
42:21 - 42:27
God damn it. I don't think I can go on. He gets thrown off an easy jet flight, doesn't he?
42:27 - 42:34
James Bond in his tuxedo. He's had 58 martinis. He's, what he said is you can't say anything anymore.
42:34 - 42:40
And it's come out. He's like, he's just said, he thinks reform actually have got it right.
42:40 - 42:44
And then all hell breaks loose. For weekly time, I've had the dinner. It's really nice.
42:45 - 42:49
Delicious. Really pleased with that. I eat some fizzy sweets. They're really nice fizzy sweets.
42:49 - 42:55
These are Orchard Valley sour groovy mix. And it says on the front, all by hand.
42:56 - 43:04
I don't believe that. I don't buy it. I don't. They're trying to make these sweets sound like I'm eating, you know, a plate of vegetables.
43:04 - 43:16
They do it with the natural jelly steak company where you're like, how natural really now to these, you know, grow on bushes, you know, are these grubs that you have?
43:16 - 43:19
It's amazing because all the cola bottles, they're made by hand are exactly the same.
43:19 - 43:27
Like the artisan who has made these cola bottles. It's extraordinary. 830 football weekly is done.
43:27 - 43:36
Jamie's on the sofa. We're watching series, one of the traitors. There's this annoying thing about Paramount on our TV that you have to turn the wifi router off and then back on again.
43:37 - 43:43
Otherwise Paramount won't work. So that is annoying because it's really mad, but it's, you get error one, four, one, one, whatever.
43:44 - 43:48
And I've got to delete some cookies or some caches from something. I don't know how to do it.
43:49 - 43:53
So this is how we get it to traitors. It's really good fun. We're in series one.
43:53 - 43:57
Like we watched series three. We are quite a lot behind, but we're really into it.
43:57 - 44:06
So we watched one episode of that. It's 930. Go back to the shed. I've got to record a little pickup for football weekly because there's been some developments in that depressing,
44:06 - 44:13
uh, Vinicius junior racism stories. Oh God. I revoiced that. 935. I'm in bed. I get to sleep around 10.
44:13 - 44:19
I am trying the Marielin CIA trick, but it's not always flying for me. I'll be honest.
44:19 - 44:29
But you know, so, uh, breathe in for five, hold for five, out for five, do that five times and then count up to 20 and you'll fall, be asleep by 13.
44:29 - 44:36
But when you count to 20, you have to like visualize the number, like one, like right there in front of you, you know, the symbol one.
44:37 - 44:41
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I do fall asleep. The alarm goes at 11, 11 PM. Um, I'm sad.
44:42 - 44:47
Oh, because yeah, I make a cup of tea. I'm back to the studio. Charlie Baker's away.
44:47 - 44:51
So what did you do yesterday? Alumnus Justin Morehouse is doing the show. So that's great.
44:52 - 45:01
Uh, we love Justin. And so I zoom call with them right at 11. And for the first 15 minutes of being awake at 11, I'm basically depressed.
45:02 - 45:05
I'm like, I'd, why am I, you know, this is, don't say this. What am I doing?
45:05 - 45:13
The managers of the sports station. Listen to this. That's just the post nap. Whenever you nap, the first 15 minutes are terrible, right?
45:13 - 45:18
You just feel like you've been shot in the face. So I'm like, but then I pick up, we do the show.
45:18 - 45:23
It's really good fun. Do you want some highlights from the show? Yeah. We have the world number nine darts player, Josh Rockon.
45:23 - 45:30
And it becomes pretty evident pretty early that neither Josh and I know a lot about darts, but Josh is good fun.
45:30 - 45:39
And he's a Northern Irishman and he goes along with it. And I think my best question to him, and I think it's not a bad question is how many darts do you have?
45:39 - 45:51
I think is a good. How many darts have you got? And I can, granted, I don't ask a footballer how many football boots he's got, but I'm interested in how many darts he's got.
45:51 - 45:56
And it's like, his manager has his darts. So I didn't get to the, I've just got three, which would be really brave.
45:56 - 46:03
Yeah. If you only had three, you'd think you'd have a multiple of three. That's what I would have thought you'd have 24 darts.
46:03 - 46:10
I don't know. My question would be, you see, one in a thousand darts hits the metal and bounces off.
46:11 - 46:24
Oh yeah. Okay. Has the dart ever hit anything? You know, a funny thing like a cushion or a cat or landed in your own arm or anything like that.
46:24 - 46:28
I will have to interview a darts player, but my darts interviews are better than my boxing ones.
46:28 - 46:39
That's for sure. We get talking about toll bridges and apparently you get charged to drive into Lincoln from one direction, but you can get into Lincoln for free from the other direction.
46:40 - 46:46
Wow. That's how you should get into Lincoln. And there are some toll bridges in the UK where it's like 12p.
46:46 - 46:50
And if you don't have change, they just don't let you in, which is harder and harder.
46:50 - 46:58
And cashless is a 12p. Who's got 12p on the nobody? So, you know, you can't get into Ashburton or wherever it happened to be.
46:58 - 47:05
The worst Robin hood escapade ever. Lincoln, wait, we have to go the long way.
47:05 - 47:10
So we don't have to pay 12p. It's three o'clock in the morning. I'm in bed.
47:10 - 47:18
3.30. I'm probably not off. End of the day. And it is not of interest to you, but it was interest to me that the kids woke up at half past five again.
47:18 - 47:26
So there we are. End of the day. This will be interesting. This trip to London, this sort of glimpse.
47:26 - 47:34
I'm not saying you're going to be hanging out with your old football mob from 2011.
47:34 - 47:46
I'm not saying you're going to be going for dinners with people from Beverly Hills 90210, but you will be able to sleep for more than two hours at a time.
47:46 - 47:51
you know, Jamie, who is maybe listening to this while I'm still away, will know that.
47:52 - 47:58
Like when she says, what do you think it's going to be like to be able to just go to bed at 11 and get up at seven?
47:58 - 48:05
And I've, I've got no answer to this. Like I, I can't articulate this, but it will be extraordinary.
48:06 - 48:13
And the thing is, I come back, I go for two weeks, I'm here for four days, and then I have to go to Austin, Texas because football week we are,
48:13 - 48:25
we're playing South by Southwest. Yeah. Seems not sure why we're doing that. Well, I'm looking forward to it, but you and funny boy, me and funny boy, guardian football weekly featuring funny boy.
48:25 - 48:35
The saddest moment in the year and a half odd that we've been doing this was when there were no cheese guesses.
48:36 - 48:44
Oh, I know. Because like the idea of having a stupid competition like this is, it's funny how into it people are.
48:45 - 48:52
And then to have no one into it just exposes the sham for what it is.
48:52 - 48:59
Do you know what? There are so many, I tell you this, there are so many podcasts that would have made up a guess or radio shows.
48:59 - 49:05
Like they're all lying to you, but we are unscrupulously honest. There were last week, no cheese guesses.
49:05 - 49:15
It made me feel bad. Natalie in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada writes, dearest generic man three, DoD, Mars Bar and the traitor of Teddington.
49:15 - 49:20
Sorry. I personally loved the Teddington quiz and was sad to see it tragically cut down while still in its prime.
49:20 - 49:31
I'm with you, Natalie. I agree with you. I'm writing to what did you do yesterday, today against my better judgment, but it seems that desperate cheese quiz times call for desperate cheese quiz measures.
49:31 - 49:41
The context, I was a deeply avid listener of DoD's pandemic podcast. And in retrospect, see that I spent too much time corresponding with that pod out of the sheer need.
49:41 - 49:51
To feel a glimmer of joy during that very unjoyful time. And although I don't regret the problematically parasocial relationship I built with DoD, Achill Island, and a rock that can never be unsullied.
49:52 - 50:03
Once the pandemic loosens its grip on me, I realized that the cycle of loving a podcast, writing to that podcast, and then getting the sweet, sweet dopamine hit of having said thing read on that podcast was too addictive for my personality.
50:03 - 50:08
And so I resigned myself to being a loyal, but passive podcast listener going forward.
50:08 - 50:12
I did fall off the wagon once in the early days of What Did You Do Yesterday?
50:12 - 50:22
to write in my appreciation of the show, and almost broke again last week when you floated the idea of having taxidermied cats as merch, which is crazy when the moneymaker of an idea,
50:22 - 50:26
a hat that says, what do I like, has been staring you all in the face for months.
50:27 - 50:35
But this, a guessless curdle like I, and the disappointed tones of a heartbroken Max, watching his creation slip away, this is a step too far.
50:35 - 50:41
And so for the greater good, I am breaking my writing embargo, and sending in my They're Just Normal Cheeses guesses.
50:42 - 50:56
Thank goodness. David, I require a bejoing. Bejoing! I think maybe because it's moved to the end of the podcast, because of where their normal cheeses is, I think that might have affected,
50:56 - 50:59
you know, in the running order. No, no one gives a shit. No one gives a fuck.
51:00 - 51:04
They were like, fucking cheeses. Oh, there are a million, but there are too many podcasts.
51:04 - 51:09
We already tell them. There are too many. You don't need another one, especially not with two idiots just guessing cheeses.
51:10 - 51:13
We've already guessed one cheese board. We don't need to guess another one. Here we go.
51:14 - 51:23
Especially now, because there are so many other podcasts, like the New York Times Daily, just coming up later on the show, we'll be talking to the new Hope for the Democratic Party,
51:23 - 51:31
but also what a name, the five cheeses that I had for Christmas. They're all, they've all got in on our idea.
51:32 - 51:41
Brie. Bing, bing, bing. Sorry, I forgot there. I wasn't building tension. I just forgot what she would say.
51:43 - 52:00
Cashel blue. Bing. Camembert. Gruyere. Toonsbridge mozzarella. Ooh. So it's still a three and a half cheese board.
52:00 - 52:05
Natalie says, and now I'll be heading off to writing into podcast rehab, in it for life and everything in showbiz.
52:06 - 52:11
Natalie in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Thank you, Natalie. We need someone else. We need someone else to guess.
52:11 - 52:16
Still as you were. It's three and a half cheese board. A Welch guess. I would like a Welch guess.
52:17 - 52:24
There might be a clue in that. Absolutely. Cut that out. Cut that out. Oh, we need to.
52:24 - 52:33
It's been stuck on three and a half now for so long. But also, no other podcast does two cheese quizzes side by side.
52:33 - 52:42
Oh, no. That's what elevates this to another dimension. On no show ever would you go, well, what we'll do is, we'll have a guess the cheese quiz.
52:43 - 52:49
And after that, to change the tone, we'll have a guess the cheese quiz. So here we are.
52:50 - 52:54
Hedgehog a sauce says, I really enjoyed that no one had written about the side cheese quiz.
52:54 - 52:59
Sorry, Max, but that was very funny. This one, Jake in Ashbourne says, hi, Max, Doddles and Mars bar.
52:59 - 53:04
I'd like to begin by thanking you for your wonderful podcast, which has brought much joy to the mundane parts of life over the past year.
53:05 - 53:13
Anyway, here's my breakaway cheese board guess. Brie, Brie, Bing, double Brie. No, no, no, no, no.
53:13 - 53:24
That would be crazy. Just imagine. Brie, Bing, Bing, Bing, Roquefort. Let me just look what roquefort.
53:25 - 53:29
Oh, hang on a second. Jake, you're close. This could be the end of the rebel cheese quiz.
53:30 - 53:39
Bing, Bing, Bing, yes. Well done, Jake. You're the winner of the rebel cheese quiz.
53:40 - 53:47
Can I just check? Sorry. I hate to, I hate to be a pedant about this, but yeah, if it was rock four, you could have just said, Bing, Bing, Bing,
53:47 - 53:58
Bing. So what was the checking bit just then? Okay. Cause you know, there is, I don't believe this, but I think a cynic listening might be like, I don't think David actually likes two cheese quizzes.
53:58 - 54:03
So he's just going to play for time and then just say, yes, it was rock four when actually it was mild cheddar.
54:03 - 54:16
But anyway, what was the checking point? In the past with cheese quiz one, there was an awful moment where I'd said goat and someone had said Chevro and I, the answer was goat.
54:17 - 54:24
Someone had said Chevro. I'd said, no, rock four is a blue. So I'm just, it's a brie and a blue, which makes sense.
54:25 - 54:31
Helen's friends had come over. I went and just grabbed two reasonably interesting cheeses. Two normal cheeses.
54:31 - 54:37
Two normal cheeses. Yeah. They're normal cheeses. And so we can now let's, I'm, I'm putting a line.
54:37 - 54:49
Can you hear? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The rebel cheese tour. And we are now just back to one cheese quiz, which some may say is too many cheese quizzes.
54:49 - 54:53
There are too many. Anyway, if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how.
54:55 - 54:59
To get in touch with the show. You can email us at. What did you do yesterday?
54:59 - 55:05
Pod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod, and please subscribe and leave a review.
55:05 - 55:10
If you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.
55:13 - 55:19
Thank you, David. I've had a lovely time. Thanks Max. Good luck on your journeys.
55:19 - 55:24
We will keep going with this. You'll be in London the next time we talk.
55:24 - 55:34
Have a great time. Yeah. Thanks David. In it for life.