0:01 - 0:29
Hello Yesterday fans! It's me, David O'Doherty, the 1990 East Leinster under-14s triple jump bronze medalist with a little bit of news that Max and I are doing a live show, this time in my home Dublin City where the ejector seat was invented. Also I think the hypodermic needle and someone told me
0:29 - 0:59
The birthday candles you blow out and they come back on. It was to do with, I think a lot of explosive type stuff was invented there and that was a by-product. Anyway, we're doing a live show on the 3rd of March in Dublin's beautiful Vicar Street. Tickets are on sale now. It's kind of wild. We're doing Dublin on the 3rd of March and Melbourne on the 3rd of April.
0:59 - 1:12
And if anyone apart from us goes to both of those gigs, you get a special prize. This is my announcement. Now please enjoy the rest of the podcast.
1:19 - 1:29
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it.
1:29 - 1:59
And they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly. But not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max?
1:59 - 2:06
Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday. We don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.
2:06 - 2:21
And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Welcome to Midweek Mayhem. From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday? My name is Max Rushden. Alongside me, David O'Doherty. Hello, David.
2:21 - 2:32
Now, last week, there seemed to be a lot of tension on this podcast because I began with an eight-minute description of my new trousers.
2:32 - 2:38
You did, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, I was speaking for the listeners. I wanted more.
2:40 - 2:46
Well, I don't know if you want this. You definitely want this. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.
2:46 - 2:53
And this is not an anonymously sent message that I have searched my name on the internet to locate.
2:53 - 3:01
This is left on my actual Instagram account. I debuted the trousers at a gig. It was a cold evening.
3:01 - 3:08
We've gone through this. They're a warm trouser. But I still thought I would try them out in Wexford Opera House, a beautiful place.
3:09 - 3:14
Regina McLean got on. We saw you in Wexford last Friday. David, we loved you.
3:14 - 3:22
Thus far, it's incredible. But you need some new trousers. The ones you wore on Friday night do not suit you.
3:22 - 3:31
But we laughed until we had tummy aches. It was a great night. Imagine, like, whatever about sending me a highly complimentary, you know, message.
3:31 - 3:39
But the other piece of information you have to get across is that my cycling trousers are, in fact, not.
3:39 - 3:48
I once got a letter, like a sent letter to TalkSport. Yeah. In sort of green pen, no punctuation, which is always the best kind of letter.
3:48 - 4:00
And it began something like this. It was like, dear Max, when I used to watch you on Soccer AM, I thought you were one of the most boring, uninterested, rude, arrogant presenters I'd ever seen.
4:01 - 4:10
And then I heard you on TalkSport. And it said, I heard you covering for Adrian Durham on Drive on TalkSport for a couple of weeks.
4:11 - 4:16
From that moment on, my opinion of you didn't change. Didn't change. Oh, well, yeah.
4:17 - 4:20
Like, there's no way. I'm sitting there going, this is going to turn out good.
4:20 - 4:27
This is going to turn out well. Didn't change. Why are you writing this? Anyway, look, we have business to attend to.
4:27 - 4:32
We have two live shows. We like to do a live show on the 3rd of every month around the world.
4:33 - 4:40
And we begin on March the 3rd in Dublin. I don't know if you know Dublin well, David, but I think you'll go down there tremendously well.
4:40 - 4:43
Are we sold out? Are we nearly sold out? I hear it's a great spot.
4:44 - 4:51
I hear they love to party. I mean, I looked earlier and there were like six standing seats left or something.
4:51 - 4:56
One of us must be big in Ireland. I don't know which one, but this has gone tremendously well.
4:56 - 5:02
I would imagine it might be the one that was recently described as the rail replacement bus of broadcasters.
5:03 - 5:10
That was you. By a man called, I think his name was Robert McIntyre, who I think was a European Ryder Cup player as well.
5:10 - 5:14
So that's got to hurt. I'm deeply unpopular amongst most of the European Ryder Cup.
5:15 - 5:27
Sergio Garcia hates my guts. And Henrik Stenson, he won't even look at me. Then on the 3rd of April, good Friday, 4pm, we are live in Melbourne at the Town Hall.
5:27 - 5:31
You are also across tickets. So the area of admin that you do is ticket sales.
5:31 - 5:40
How are we doing in Melbourne? Is it a bigger ask Tuesday night in Dublin versus Good Friday in the afternoon in Melbourne?
5:41 - 5:47
Melbourne, it's a big room and we wouldn't quite be at the Dublin levels yet.
5:47 - 5:53
There are still seated places available in that room in a way that there is.
5:53 - 5:58
So maybe some of the Dublin overflow, I can think about either flying down to it.
5:58 - 6:07
Yeah, that's a good idea. What you're saying is if you are a party, a family of 150, I would get your seats pretty early.
6:07 - 6:16
Deirdre in Melbourne writes, Dear David Maximarsbar, in a recent promo for your upcoming live shows, David suggested there should be a special prize for anyone who could attend both the Dublin and Melbourne shows.
6:16 - 6:27
I can't attend either in what I believe is a pretty unique way. As someone who grew up in Ireland and has lived in Melbourne for the past 17 years, I'm now moving back to Ireland to be closer to my family.
6:27 - 6:33
I'm leaving in March. So I'll be in Melbourne at the time of your Dublin show and in Dublin at the time of your Melbourne show.
6:33 - 6:37
Ships in the night and all that. Does this unique situation warrant a different special prize?
6:37 - 6:42
Yours hopefully, Deirdre in Melbourne for now. I'm afraid, Deirdre, you are no good to us.
6:43 - 6:55
Yeah. And if we start saying that people who don't attend both get a prize, that is going to be hundreds and hundreds of millions of prizes we're going to have to hand out.
6:55 - 7:01
I would say it reminds me of for one of my, I think it was an Edinburgh show or a Melbourne show.
7:01 - 7:12
We need another 10 words on the flyer for it to look symmetrical. So I said free entry to anyone called Penelope, brackets with identification.
7:13 - 7:19
How'd it go? 12 Penelopes came over the course of it. That's pretty good. That's amazing.
7:19 - 7:28
To important matters, the Vittorio Angeloni bonk. Bonk. Why are we saying bonk? He said bonk.
7:28 - 7:35
He introduced the word bonk to the whole thing, yeah. Kaz says, I briefly started listening whilst getting ready and hopped in the car with the family.
7:36 - 7:46
The car, of course, connected to my phone instantly. The pod blasted out loud and clear right at the vitamin D moment as my husband frantically tried to disconnect my phone and connect his instead.
7:46 - 7:51
I relaxed, assuming we'd survived the worst that had been hinted at in the intro.
7:52 - 8:01
Cue standard family car chaos, seatbelts, children, snacks being passed back, sat-nav debates. And then I became aware of the lovely Vittorio explaining what he did at 8.45.
8:02 - 8:06
I responded loudly by singing la la la la la while scrabbling to switch off the entire car sound system.
8:07 - 8:22
Cue kids, what does a morning bonk mean? Well, in cycling, if you are under-fueled for a stage, you get a thing called the bonk, as it's known, whereby you just fully run out.
8:23 - 8:35
It's like you're, you know, cycling through treacle. So you could maybe put that forward as an explanation if you didn't want to use that as a great opportunity to explain what they were doing.
8:36 - 8:40
Yeah. I mean, I know some of my friends' kids who are sort of 15, 14, 15 listen to this.
8:40 - 8:46
And I think in many ways it's an entry into the world of some adult pursuits.
8:47 - 8:52
Don't you think? There are definitely worse ways to learn about these things on the internet than this.
8:52 - 9:06
In the classic trope of this podcast being the center of the known universe, I would love to know if anyone were themselves bonking while we chat about the bonking came on.
9:06 - 9:15
Or indeed, if anyone was inspired to do what - bonk there and then - Vittorio and Mrs. Vittorio were up to.
9:15 - 9:22
If you were listening as a couple and you heard Vittorio talking about his bonk and you thought, now is the moment.
9:22 - 9:29
I do feel that this, in many ways, this podcast, I would see not as a major turn on in that sense.
9:29 - 9:38
I don't know. Our friend Barca Jim messaged us to say, a quick check tells me you've done 55 midweek mayhems in 27 yesterdays or 28 yesterdays.
9:38 - 9:45
Neither of you have had the ride the day before a record. I fear when you both end up living alone, you'll think the clues were all there.
9:46 - 9:52
In response to Jim, Pudsey said, reading between the lines, and I may be way off beam here, but Max may be too tired.
9:52 - 10:00
Apparently he has young kids, but he doesn't like to mention it. But Will says, you can hear them blushing while having to ask questions about the morning bonk.
10:00 - 10:08
It sounded like two 13-year-olds asking their 16-year-old cousin what sex is like. Come on. Congratulations, Vittorio, for having the most sex-filled life in the pod's history.
10:08 - 10:15
If a 13-year-old had asked 16-year-old me what it's like, I would have had absolutely no response.
10:15 - 10:21
I'd like to say, what a day. It was a big moment for the podcast.
10:22 - 10:37
Maybe the floodgates will open. 16-year-old you probably would have had some incredible statistics about Cambridge United, and also been able to discuss a lot of theorems, great theorems that you are currently studying for your advanced mathematics exams.
10:37 - 10:46
No, I would have been able to tell you every manager of every team in the football league, and probably the capacity of their ground.
10:46 - 10:52
I could probably have done that, which strangely didn't get all the girls back in 1996.
10:52 - 11:02
Can you believe it? On Enya's panic room, Flamisto says, I'm just thinking that tiles are maybe not the greatest material room.
11:03 - 11:16
Panic room. Sorry, Enya. Maybe something more cushioned. Yes, she hasn't thought it through. Brilliant Space writes, on the subject of David being slightly under the weather.
11:16 - 11:20
There's been a couple of episodes where David's been under the weather. Maybe in Edinburgh one, hungover.
11:20 - 11:26
And he is even more of a delight. I'm not saying we make him stay a little bit poorly, but I'm not not saying it either.
11:27 - 11:31
Is that movie, was that the sixth sense? Was it the hand that rocks the cradle?
11:31 - 11:37
Where will we sort of give you too much salt? Just to keep you slightly ill for the rest of your life.
11:37 - 11:42
You're thinking of misery. Is it misery? I'm thinking of misery. I am fully 100% better.
11:44 - 11:52
Yes. However, curiously, it's my day later in the app. Oh, it is, yeah. So then 9pm, I just go a little bit deeper of voice.
11:52 - 11:58
Do you know that strange phenomenon? Just, it just sounds a little bit like that then.
11:58 - 12:04
What, do you sing every night? You go like that at 9pm? Well, I have since this very mild illness has passed.
12:05 - 12:12
You sort of become a snooker commentator at 9pm. Whispering Ted Low. Who was the drummer, the original Wimbledon?
12:13 - 12:23
What was he called? Dan Maskell. Dan Maskell, yes. It's going to be fun for the live show at 9pm, where suddenly we all get a bit deeper.
12:23 - 12:28
It's the deep hour. We need some more iTunes reviews, please. They're not flooding in like they were.
12:28 - 12:33
Just because they're quite good for some feedback. I enjoyed this from Dead Yankee on the 11th of January.
12:33 - 12:39
He said, my first episode, five stars, thank you. My first episode featured the solution to the Teddington quiz.
12:39 - 12:44
Now I'm forced to listen to this hateful thing in reverse as I navigate the back catalogue.
12:44 - 12:54
You have no idea what torture this is. And Nippy Ends just gave us five stars and said, I can't believe I just Googled if you can buy frozen bees.
12:57 - 13:01
Now this is a good note from Tom in South London. Hi, Max and Doddles.
13:01 - 13:06
First time emailer. OG listener. When I say I've been there from the start, I mean it in the most literal sense.
13:07 - 13:22
Picture the scene. I'm at the Edinburgh Fringe, attending comedians, DJ battles, and David O'Doherty and Nish Kumar are dropping banger after banger, like it's lunch at Rob Auton's house, as they storm to victory over Chloe Petts and Huge Davis in the grand finale.
13:22 - 13:27
At the bar, I have a chance encounter with none other than the one and only DOD.
13:27 - 13:33
I compliment him on his pandemic podcast hit, to which he says, well, if you like podcasts, watch this space.
13:34 - 13:38
On that bombshell, he leaves the bar and makes his way to join his friends.
13:38 - 13:45
In the process, repeatedly looking over his shoulder, coquettishly, putting a single finger to his lips and miming, shh.
13:45 - 13:49
At the time, I had no clue as to the journalistic scoop I'd accidentally uncovered.
13:50 - 13:59
Not until What Did You Do Yesterday dropped about a week later, that is. Maybe it was conversing with another Hills Road alumnus, that's my sixth form college, that subconsciously lured him into offering up this Easter egg.
13:59 - 14:09
Maybe it was the pints, but for a brief second, I was at the center, or at least the start, of the What Did You Do Yesterday universe before I even knew the podcast was itself the center of the universe.
14:09 - 14:17
Everything indeed is showbiz. There's no way it surely figured to the... You weren't doing that.
14:18 - 14:25
Shh. Don't tell him about the podcast. Shh. That's cocky. You were cocky then about, you know, your confidence in this podcast.
14:25 - 14:29
I feel at that time, you're like, is this really, are we actually doing this?
14:29 - 14:39
Tom says, I paused the John Kearns episode to attend a writing workshop for work where they gave the example of the South Park creators' advice on replacing and with therefore but,
14:39 - 14:45
only to immediately hear the same advice repeated by John when I resumed listening to the podcast straight after.
14:45 - 14:54
Further proof of this pod being at the center of the known universe. I also need to make clear, DJ Battles, I do remember that gig.
14:54 - 15:00
Me and Nish have done it a few times. We have a few secret tracks.
15:00 - 15:05
Sorry, Miss Jackson. Stuff like that. Yeah, I could see. And the place goes crazy.
15:05 - 15:09
But I need to make it clear that we don't sort of back announce the tunes.
15:10 - 15:20
You know what I mean? It's not DJing in the sense of and the podcast, there is news of a new podcast coming soon, folks.
15:21 - 15:31
Hi, guys. How are you doing? Friday afternoon here live on Doddles FM. We've got some great hits coming up from Nickelback, Sade, and Deacon Blue.
15:31 - 15:40
What are you up to for the weekend? Let me know. Text 84104. This is from Bene in the Accursed Mountains in Albania.
15:40 - 15:45
Hi there. I have to ask because it took me completely unaware a couple of episodes ago.
15:45 - 15:57
Out of nowhere, David referenced Dingley Dell. Life has been hectic. I can't remember the context, but I wondered where on earth David got that phrase or name from because I grew up in a house called Dingley Dell and no amount of research could work out where on earth
15:57 - 16:01
the name came from. Then 30 years later, I was dumbstruck to hear David repeat the name.
16:01 - 16:07
It is most certainly not just a normal house name. Thank you. If you can shed any light, I really love the pod.
16:07 - 16:13
It's rare to find something that makes the listener feel so welcome. Thank you. From Bene in the accursed mountains of Albania.
16:13 - 16:20
Well, firstly, that could be a one and only. Is that possible? Well, unless he's listened to more than one episode.
16:20 - 16:26
I mean, you imagine Bene has, if he really likes the pod, disappointing if he's only listened to one and then moved on.
16:26 - 16:31
Is Dingley Dell not where Noel's house party was set? No, that's Crinkly Bottom. That's Crinkly Bottom.
16:32 - 16:39
Where is Dingley Dell next door? I mean, it rings a bell to me, but like he lived in it and he has, I've never researched Dingley Dell.
16:39 - 16:46
Producer Will is typing. This is very exciting. Producer Will knows stuff. What Producer Will is trying to do is trying to stop a quiz before it started.
16:47 - 16:50
He says he thinks it's from Monty Python. I mean, that is possible, isn't it?
16:50 - 16:55
I don't know. But the thing is, Bene has researched it day after day after day, David.
16:55 - 17:03
I imagine he's used Google. If you're just about to try using Google, if Bene has tried to research it but without using the internet, then fair play to the man.
17:03 - 17:10
It's referred to in the third album from 1972 by the British folk rock band Lindisfarne.
17:10 - 17:22
There's a reference to it in the song All Fall Down. But surely, I can't remember the context that I set it in, but I just sit here and riff a cursed mountain dweller of Albania.
17:22 - 17:27
Lizzie writes, Hello, David, Max, and Mars bar. I've been listening to the pod since the early days.
17:27 - 17:32
And when I moved to Melbourne in July, I was very sad to realize that it coincided with Max spending two months in London.
17:32 - 17:39
The whole time he was away, I was joking to my partner and friends that I bet I'll see him as soon as he gets back, to which they scoffed, no fucking chance.
17:39 - 17:49
The city of six million people never bump into people you know. Well, within a week, there he was, about 100 meters from my house, outside my local Woolies, while me and my partner horrifically hungover,
17:50 - 18:00
traipsed in and out of the shop, grabbing things we'd forgotten over three visits. If we'd remembered bread that first time, I wouldn't have had the joy of looking up from my phone to see generic man three pushing a pram.
18:00 - 18:07
Far too much anxiety to say hello. I instead just smiled at Jamie and happily told my boyfriend as it came out that he'd missed the moment.
18:07 - 18:10
This pod is the center of the universe. Just thought I'd share that with you, lovely gang.
18:11 - 18:29
All the best. Goodbye. Catch ya. Lizzie. Oh, you should have said hello, Lizzie. Lizzie has spent weeks driving around the suburbs of Melbourne looking for, what is it, a vegetation strip with a Hot Wheels garage and a table on it just searching for where you might be nearby.
18:30 - 18:36
It's not called a vegetation strip. Nature strip. Nature strip. Yeah, yeah, looking for discarded toasters.
18:39 - 18:49
This is from Fergus. In What Did You Do Yesterday? Number 55, David expressed a yearning for someone to remix Max's rundown of previous guesses for They're Just Normal Countries.
18:49 - 18:55
I suppose I am someone. I don't know if I'm the only someone who responded to the call, but I have produced a remix of sorts.
18:55 - 19:01
I really would have been far too lazy to go searching for all the clips I used in this track if everything is showbiz didn't exist.
19:01 - 19:12
So this is partially that person's fault too. Disclaimer. I'm not a competent music producer and I made this between my six-week-old being sick on me and my two-year-old shitting all the way up his own back.
19:15 - 19:21
Let me read out one email now and then we'll play Fergus's remix because it's kind of related.
19:22 - 19:28
Is it Niamh? N-I-A-M-H? You're really learning. Yes. Niamh in Mauritius. Hi, guys. Love the pod.
19:28 - 19:33
Originally from Dublin, now living in Mauritius, a small but mighty island about 100 miles from Reunion.
19:33 - 19:37
Listening to a recent podcast, I was slightly shocked. And by slightly, I mean very.
19:37 - 19:40
To hear David tell the people of Reunion and I quote it to go fuck yourselves.
19:42 - 19:47
Given that Reunion is an overseas region of France, this was in effect telling the French to go fuck yourselves.
19:47 - 19:54
A bold move, historically speaking. The French are not exactly famous for taking that sort of thing lying down or quietly or without a revolution.
19:54 - 20:00
Max then energetically joined in, doubling down on the French abuse, which brings me to an important geographical clarification.
20:00 - 20:05
Reunion is basically Melbourne's neighbour in the sense that there is no landmass between the two.
20:05 - 20:12
Theoretically, one could swim from one to the other. I'm not sure whether French sharks are more aggressive than Australian ones, but honestly, I'd stay out of the water for a while.
20:12 - 20:22
Love the show, lads. And even Mauritius. It's worth bringing that up because Fergus has used that in his remix of They're Just Normal Countries.
20:22 - 20:29
And I suppose the best place to play Fergus's remix is instead of me reading out the countries, just throwing to Fergus's remix.
20:29 - 20:55
Is that right? Yeah. Okay, so let's play They're Just Normal Countries. I am the one and only. What country could I be? I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be? Welcome to They're Just Normal Countries.
20:56 - 21:01
And here are the countries that have been guessed so far. Let's go to Fergus's remix.
21:02 - 21:19
I hope someone remixes that. Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino, Correct, Liechtenstein,
21:19 - 21:36
Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji, Correct, Correct, Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands, Correct, Belarus, Palau, Aruba, Ecuador, Iraq, Gabon, Correct, San Marino, Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, Gabon, Correct, Aruba, Aruba, San Marino,
21:36 - 21:46
Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, Gabon, Correct, Aruba, San Marino, Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, San Marino, Correct, Gabon, Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, Gabon, Correct, Let's go to the bath.
21:46 - 21:50
I'm a bath guy. I love a bath. It's the bath of cum. A hot bath.
21:50 - 22:01
It's the bath of cum. No cleaning products whatsever. It's the bath of cum. It's an incredibly hot bath. It's the bath of cum.
22:01 - 22:15
Let's get it. I'm a bath guy. Faroe Islands, Correct, Gabon, Correct, San Marino, Correct, Gabon, Correct, San Marino, Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, Faroe Islands, Correct, Gabon, Correct, Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica,
22:15 - 22:23
Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino, Correct, Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji, Correct,
22:28 - 22:41
Correct, Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands, Correct, Belarus, Palau, Aruba, Aruba, Ecuador, Iraq, Gabon, Correct. How about the people of Reunion all go and fuck yourselves?
22:42 - 22:55
I couldn't give a shit. So thank you, Fergus. That's a great effort. Isn't it a wonderful, that's really, oh, that's top work.
22:55 - 23:12
Sometimes, yeah. Do you know when you're searching for something on your phone, something stupid, and either the train goes into a tunnel, or the internet drops, leaving you with a moment where you actually think about what you're doing,
23:12 - 23:19
the thing you're looking for, how your life has come to this. I've just had one of those moments.
23:19 - 23:28
I think you wouldn't have had the moment. The country's bit is fine. It's the repetition of BOC that makes you think, oh man, I'm nearly 50.
23:29 - 23:39
You are 50. We should be doing something else. We shouldn't be doing this. What's happened?
23:39 - 23:44
We didn't mean it to be this way. Anyway, thank you, Fergus. A great effort.
23:44 - 23:50
So let's get to the, let's get to the guests, shall we? This is from Mike Gray, MSE, small d.
23:51 - 23:58
So he's given his academic qualifications, and with good reason. Max David Mars Bar and or producer Will.
23:58 - 24:08
I have a guest for They're Just Normal Countries, aka Worldle. For context, I'm an English teacher in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and part of our curriculum currently is the reading of a few books about Africa.
24:08 - 24:13
It was while myself and my students were brushing up on our African geography that I had an epiphany.
24:13 - 24:27
There was a small, predominantly English-speaking country that has not been guessed yet. I didn't exactly shout Eureka, but I did immediately instruct my students to begin reading silently so that I can type this email to submit my guess of the Gambia.
24:28 - 24:36
So is that what happened in school every time a teacher was like, all right, just read your books there for a second, everyone.
24:37 - 24:44
I've got an email off menu about something. Is that what happened? Yeah. The Gambia is the smallest mainland African country.
24:44 - 24:48
It was once a British colony along the Gambia River. So English is its official language.
24:48 - 24:55
Its population is only about 2.76 million. It is completely surrounded by Senegal, which was a former French colony.
24:55 - 25:02
I think it's all good support for my guess. Incidentally, the Gambia is one of only two countries in the world that officially has the article, the, as part of its name.
25:03 - 25:05
I won't tell you the other one because I imagine Max would want to guess.
25:05 - 25:13
Love the pod. Everything is showbiz. People used to say the Ukraine, but it's definitely not supposed to be.
25:13 - 25:18
No, it's not. The Philippines. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Is it Philippines or the Philippines?
25:19 - 25:23
Is it, it might be the Woolwich, the Arsenal is definitely the, is it the Arsenal?
25:23 - 25:27
Is it the Ireland? Is it the Ireland? I think you might be right with the Philippines.
25:27 - 25:33
I don't like quizzes, not running and running. Anyway, over to producer Will. Is the Gambia a normal country?
25:37 - 25:43
How many listens in the Gambia? 51 at time of recording. So there we are. Absolutely massive in the Gambia.
25:43 - 25:50
We take the definite article seriously on this podcast, but it's a clear board. How do you get in touch?
25:50 - 25:53
What did you do yesterday at gmail.com? Is that right? What did you do yesterday?
25:53 - 25:59
Pod at gmail.com. We'll do the dingy, dingy piano-y bit at the end. I don't know what the email address is.
25:59 - 26:04
Anyway, David, I have a question for you. What time did you wake up yesterday morning?
26:05 - 26:17
There could be some debate, because I definitely stir at 6.30 a.m. Got it. as the helencopter glides out of the room to go to a class of some kind.
26:18 - 26:30
Right. Okay. At 6.30, you secretly inwardly furious with her. No, but that did happen then when I heard her struggle with the front door.
26:30 - 26:40
So we've had very heavy rainfall here in recent times, which has caused the wood to swell slightly in the front door.
26:40 - 26:47
Right. I see. So she was struggling to open the deadlock. Basically, I think. Is it the chub?
26:47 - 26:57
The chub. The chub. Which, in Australian world, is a name for an erection. We've been struggling with the chub recently.
26:57 - 27:11
I didn't know that. The chub expands when it rains. Yeah, it does. So we hear that, and I hear her cursing quietly, quietly at it.
27:12 - 27:19
You've got to put your shoulder to it, which isn't good enough. Right. As the DIY person of the house.
27:19 - 27:23
Wow. Are we going to have some sanding today? Sanding down the door? What's going to happen?
27:23 - 27:31
Well, let's just see, shall we? Okay, wow, this is exciting. Black & Decker Ahoy. This podcast is brought to you by Black & Decker Workbenches.
27:31 - 27:43
Sand your door in a matter of minutes. Go to blackanddecker.co.uk. So, we're not exactly sure if we go back to sleep there, but then Helen Copter comes back from the class,
27:43 - 27:50
then, an hour later, an hour and a bit later. I think you'd know if you'd been awake for that hour, David, wouldn't you?
27:51 - 27:59
You've no idea what the lives of normal people I like. I'm in a lovely sort of half state where I'm considering.
28:00 - 28:05
I think I might have a podcast on that I'm not really listening to. You know, that sort of stuff.
28:05 - 28:23
You're familiar with that. Helen Copter summons me with a breakfast. She has come back and made a delicious granola oaty thing that she has put a banana in and somehow melted the banana into it.
28:23 - 28:30
Anyway, I refer to it. I say this is lovely and I don't know the word for it because it's not overnight oats.
28:30 - 28:37
It seems like she's just magicked a nutritious. On the day oats. I call it sludge.
28:37 - 28:40
And that's a word. Yeah, I don't know if I want my banana to be melted.
28:41 - 28:47
I want the banana to have sort of structural integrity. Yeah, well, on top of the oats.
28:47 - 28:56
There's a lot of science has been done with bananas and how in different forms they're good for you in different ways.
28:56 - 29:04
As in, I think the ultimate way to have a banana is to have a not-not-ripe banana and eat it.
29:04 - 29:12
shoved right, sorry. And then, because then you're getting the fibrous aspect of it. Oh, isn't it sad when it's too firm?
29:13 - 29:21
It's a sad thing you can eat over for an unripe banana. It turns into a sort of sweet treat then if you put it in a banana smoothie, for example.
29:21 - 29:29
What I'm saying is there's 50 different bananas you can have and the sludge banana is just another one of them.
29:29 - 29:36
There's a slight bit of hurry then as Helen Copter has to go and save the world at work.
29:36 - 29:43
Of course, yeah. And I... She's one of the Power Rangers, isn't she? We haven't established that she is one of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
29:44 - 29:51
Did they connect to each other to form a giant? I don't think so. No, I think they were their own people.
29:52 - 29:58
They're slightly after my time. Once again, also a bit after my time. Yeah, they're just sort of like the Teletubbies.
29:58 - 30:04
They never all connect together to form a monster or whatever. I don't believe so.
30:04 - 30:09
They morph though, hence the Mighty Morphin. Oh, they do, says Will. Will says they literally do.
30:10 - 30:19
Thank you. Listen, you've buried the lead again. I go to look at a potential house.
30:19 - 30:28
Whoa, we're buying a house. Hang on. With your podcast profits. I have an engineer with me as well to look at it, to give it a once over.
30:28 - 30:34
Okay. Are they a structural engineer or is it a chemical engineer? What? Have you met them before?
30:34 - 30:41
They're a pharmaceutical engineer and they're making cough medicine in the kitchen while I view the rest of the house.
30:42 - 30:51
Yes, you need to do this because it's an old house. He correctly identifies several issues with it that are fixable.
30:52 - 30:59
Right. Highly fixable. But I like this guy. I like Gavin. We like Gavin. Yeah, he goes up into the attic.
30:59 - 31:04
You hear something like, oh my days. And you're looking at something that is absolutely perfect.
31:05 - 31:12
You know? And he's like, that is beyond six degrees of sag in that. And you have to be like, I thought so.
31:12 - 31:23
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six degrees of sag is basically the fact that you can always get to a spinach dish through the last six things you ate, I think.
31:23 - 31:29
No, because sag is the Screen Actors Guild in America, the people who went on strike that time.
31:29 - 31:34
So you're always closely related to someone who is a member of sag. I understand.
31:34 - 31:41
I understand. Okay. Do we buy the house? Do we add to basket? No, that's not how you do it.
31:41 - 31:53
Obviously, I'm paying cash. I just have like Santa sack over my shoulder. And just as I'm leaving at the estate agent's feet, I just turn it upside down and keep shaking it.
31:54 - 32:03
And they're squabbling trying to count it all. And then I say any questions. What you do is you put it into the crystal dome and then you turn it on and then,
32:04 - 32:13
you know. And then I grab the keys out of the estate agent's hand and just push them out of the house and go asleep in the bed.
32:13 - 32:21
Yep, exactly. So no, I don't know, but we will think about it. We need the report to come back from Gavin.
32:21 - 32:43
Okay. That's responsible. Potential house moving. Yeah. I go straight to lunch then. Yeah. It's taken a few hours this and I go for an early lunch in the Fumbally Cafe around the corner where I have an interesting discussion with Cyan who works there about I'm getting a lot
32:43 - 32:56
of content. So we've moved on from Ryanair fights and I still get a lot of Danny Sandhouse who sands down floors in Victorian and Georgian buildings.
32:56 - 33:18
But I also get these kind of 30 second recipes from chefs which are like I'm going to show you the most banging noodles you can have and tortilla mince onion cheese grill done delicious slow down mate I just haven't got this one yes and they don't put
33:18 - 33:34
the quantities in so normally there's a follow me for the recipe or whatever in the comments so I'm trying to find out Cyan understands what the business model is here so I'm like what are these people trying to get me to do and
33:34 - 33:49
she is intrigued by how well very often they are following food trends from like three years ago such as peanut ryu is just in a lot of those recipes at the moment so
33:49 - 34:07
it's possible brands of peanut ryu are paying for those influencers to do it because it's always like three tablespoons of quite expensive delicious peanutty spice stuff got it I see and whatever they're making they're making a bolognese and then add the peanut right
34:07 - 34:27
right I understand that's when you smell a rat isn't it that was the catchphrase for Ratatouille the film oddly enough I I get the sandwich and soup combo fine what's the sandwich sandwich is it's a healthy cafe this place so this is gonna sound very boring
34:27 - 34:45
but it's a roast cauliflower okay and then some pickled bits with some sort of basil pesto between two large doorsteps bits of bread there's a lot of stuff in there yeah all veggie kind of like a soup in a sandwich right
34:45 - 34:55
and what's the soup is that a sandwich in a soup that is brown unfortunately brown soup I think that is that's not a big seller surely
34:58 - 35:15
it's a brown soup and it's absolutely delicious delicious brown soup I'm suspicious then I go straight over to visit mum and dad yes how are the Odochities they are all right
35:15 - 35:37
you know 86 and 87 the winter especially with dad breaking his leg before Christmas I sense the winter is slightly lifting here you're in your 40 something degree paradise here he was 44 yesterday I mean that is you're basically cooking that is like slow cooking you open the back door
35:37 - 35:51
and if you stand outside for five hours like the meat will come off the bone like a lamb shank it's ridiculous there is only one way they say to beat the heat in Melbourne and that is to attend the live what did you do yesterday show in Melbourne
35:51 - 36:12
town hall at 4pm on Good Friday yeah they're in good form actually I have a few jobs to do for them bring in fuel and stuff like that fine they're big fireplace guys in the winter with mum I got her Birkenstock slippers for Christmas you know your
36:12 - 36:35
classic Birkenstocks I'm aware yeah so I got her this sort of fleece lined they're the similar shape but they're a closed slipper and I don't think I've ever seen anyone hate a thing as immediately but in such a polite way as my mother because I think the
36:35 - 36:53
sort of squareness of toe of Birkenstocks we are used to as young cool people whereas to her I think they just look like Mickey Mouse's shoes or something has she put them on like is the comfort exceeding her sadness at the aesthetics or does she hate
36:53 - 37:02
all of it so last week I took her into the city and we went to the Birkenstock shop and exchanged them for some stilettos
37:05 - 37:27
anyway one of these ones she's decided they don't fit either so I'm going to return for the second time another different pair of sort of Birkenstock crocs that I think I might have talked her into wanting and maybe that doesn't now with with Jim the task is I
37:27 - 37:47
believe the term is n-shittification which is where large tech companies suck you in so for example in 2017 I got Jim a MacBook Air computer because he'd had a sort of Acer laptop from the middle aisle of Lidl up until then
37:47 - 38:09
it was just so complicated like it was running Acer software with Microsoft operating systems or whatever it is it just involved a lot of entering codes and stuff and I was like you will not believe when I combine Mac with Google Chrome dad life is good anyway the
38:09 - 38:27
n-shittification is when they suck you in by the thing being simple and just in the last few months Google Chrome have gone now this Mac is too old for us to ever update this software good no it's not good I know what our listeners are saying are get
38:27 - 38:43
him to do Mozilla or another search but the problem is dad's he knows how to do these specific list of things of course so we are effectively trapped we are caught in a trap with this right
38:43 - 39:01
yeah so I think I'm going to replace this laptop that I'm talking to you through and then give this one to him then I guess that's the way around it but nonetheless for fuck's sake yeah come on Apple yeah come on all of you people in cahoots
39:01 - 39:18
let's take on the tech bros David me and you could do it let's take on the tech bros stop being so like money grabbing you've got loads yeah but what if they go to sponsor us then we will this show is brought to you by tech bros
39:18 - 39:43
brought to you by tech bros this show is brought to you by the worst type of tech bros rigging elections all over the world giving us filthy money in return Palantir's ice AI public identification software sponsor what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday sponsored by
39:43 - 40:01
the people that decided that there was no hate speech on facebook or whatever it was we're with you all the way you can't say anything these days carry on so I'm still furious when I get home and then the door is slow to open because of the expansion
40:01 - 40:13
so what you do is you get your dad's macbook air and you smash it against the door until the door closes so I decide it is time because I should be doing work now
40:13 - 40:29
I should be working on my little jokes and various other top secret projects I have going on this is an ideal opportunity to not do that and instead spend the next two and a half hours trying to make the door a little bit smaller and the frame
40:29 - 40:42
now are you nervous that you're going to have to enlarge the door come summer or you're thinking I'll be in my new house and those suckers the door just swing open because you sounded it too much in six months time interesting that you say that in the back
40:42 - 40:57
of my mind is the fact that I have just been with the engineer and if the engineer opened the door that was a little bit slow he'd be like alarm bells here yeah yeah no good point whereas there's nothing wrong with this door really it has just
40:57 - 41:14
expanded a bit I think at this particular time of year I think it might have done it last year so it just needs a couple of mills shaved off one side of it now are you using a potato peeler or a big old sander from your toolbox well
41:14 - 41:41
recently I was in a cheap supermarket that rhymes with former tottenham hotspur goalkeeper Brad Friedel and I Brad Friddle Brad Friddle Brad Fraldi yes yeah okay and I got a sander thing so it's fine I need to move the lock whatever you call the bit of the
41:41 - 41:55
lock that's in the door frame move that a few mills as well you have to tell that out with a chisel possible job the problem is the cheap sander that I have is meant to have a kind of a box on the end of it that gathers
41:55 - 42:08
all of the sawdust it fails to do that and so the whole house is covered like you can write your name in most of in the dust on all of the tables and
42:08 - 42:23
the rest of the house I see I thought you were going to say actually it turns out easier to sand add a tiny bit of wood to every other bit of the house and that's the simple way of fixing this door but I'm not technically minded no
42:23 - 42:43
no you're not it takes so long Helen comes back it takes so long that the door it's got it's summer and the door has shrunk back to its normal size I think I do a pretty good job but when Helen comes back I just feel a bit useless
42:43 - 43:01
because I haven't done any of the work that I was meant to do now she obviously reminds me that I've viewed a house and looked after my parents and those things are more important than writing jokes and I've also fixed a door so we eat we have a
43:01 - 43:20
delicious leftovers from she's made a large pasta dish the day before that involved her grating an entire head of broccoli and combining it with cheese basically in a thing that is classic but I'm searching for meaning in life too much so
43:20 - 43:33
that I realize what this is is the calling of the divorced Belgian dentists yeah Helen Copter I must go to the basement and I must race various people called yele okay and
43:33 - 43:45
how long after the grated head of a broccoli cheesy pasta that is you've gone too soon no no no it's it's actually fine I I'm on a crazy health kick at the moment so
43:45 - 44:06
I don't overeat it I have the correct amount I faff for enough time the only problem is so my outfit that I choose for these bicycle rides is generally pearly king is it pearly king it's under shorts with an because you want ass shorts ones with a padded
44:06 - 44:20
butt in them like it doesn't you don't need aerodynamic gear that is not important you need cycling shoes so I have these little sort of hot pants with a pad in them so they would go you can wear them under jeans if you want if you're
44:20 - 44:36
going for a big cycle in your jeans. So generally I race against the Belgian dentists on my home bicycle trainer in them. However yesterday they must all be in the wash. So the how many hot pants do you have? I have three pairs of hot pants
44:36 - 44:55
three pairs of hot pants okay right so I have full length leggings then and I don't want to wear them because they're thermal but I have a another pair that Helen identifies as Karen length shorts okay yeah I know the type exactly just below the knee I
44:55 - 45:09
haven't just above the knee actually but okay fine maybe that's the breadth of Karen length Karen trousers can either go shorts go from just above the knee to just below the knee well above the knee would be they'd be perfect cycling shorts these are unnecessarily long
45:09 - 45:29
but they make Helen laugh so much just because it looks like I'm in athleisure wear to like pick up six dogs from a dog groomer or something and then complain that the hairstyles are wrong on the dogs I hammer the belgians for 40 minutes absolutely do you win again
45:29 - 45:40
do you win again no I'm on a mode that's not a race but rather just community ride with the divorced belgian dentists do you chat to them that possibility is open but
45:40 - 45:58
instead I have some grim end of the world podcast playing it's like a marathon which you will know because you've done two marathons once dressed as a fallon in that this is a ride where you pick a rider who has an arrow above his head he's riding at
45:58 - 46:13
a certain pace and you try and stay with him right I understand yeah and is he a divorced belgian dentist he's probably an ai rider if I'm honest are there any dentists in belgian that aren't divorced from your area no they are all divorced and
46:13 - 46:28
they are all on this cycling app right are they all dating their like assistant you know they go d4 d3 pink washout hold this we do it we do it well so
46:28 - 46:44
much so that we're sweating I put down one of Helen copter's yoga mats obviously underneath that I sweat on to like it's a it's a good workout so immediately obviously go for a bath after that you don't have to stand there like a loser in a shower
46:44 - 46:56
we haven't lowered ourselves into a bath for a long time David yes we're still using the classic wear the classic format yeah and you don't want this bath to be too hot because you've just done a sweaty cycle yeah but you want it to be pretty hot
46:56 - 47:15
but I I want to get into the lying position as quickly as possible with this bath so no I don't go murderously hot I don't go boil the frog hot where I go feet and then dip the undercarriage in that way I in fact go
47:15 - 47:28
in medium and then with my foot introduce more hot but you're not so lying totally flat so your head is do you put your head do you dunk your head under the water yeah I do because I wash my hair then okay yeah okay wash it going
47:28 - 47:44
backwards and then do you for a little bit swish back and forward because that's fun yes I certainly do a nice little bit of swishing I also do the swish where you've got your hands one up one down your palms and you go swish swish so
47:44 - 48:03
the water travels around you in a in a circle like a whirlpool like the safest whirlpool they can be I dry off go and watch the TV with Helen Copter in the nude I appear totally in the nude which is this our second what did you do yesterday
48:03 - 48:21
bunk no we watch a documentary on the life of Steven Spielberg yeah yeah yeah that's what you call it okay he made some good films didn't he come on Indiana Jones can't all that yeah yeah no no you can't there's an odd era of minority
48:21 - 48:39
reports clearly after the success of Jurassic Park he thinks the future is CGI so there's a few around the 2000s we would look at now and be like this is all just a computer game there's a few Tom Cruisey ones okay but he comes back every few
48:39 - 48:52
years just when you think he's done he comes back with uh Saving Private Ryan or you know another absolute another classic yeah also the fact that he made Schindler's List and
48:52 - 49:01
Jurassic Park in the same year is something that I had never realized before yeah I mean they are in many ways interchangeable as films
49:03 - 49:20
and Helen Copter dozes off in the middle of that I keep it going till the end it ends with 2016 with Bridge of Spies that's when this documentary is from that'll do let's go to bed we wake her up she pretends she wasn't asleep
49:20 - 49:36
put her into bed she falls asleep immediately and I fall asleep beside her that's what I did yesterday it's good day this is from Steve hi Max DOD Mars Bar long time listener here I've been with what did you do yesterday from the very start an absolute joy
49:36 - 49:47
comfort listening at its finest this email is in relation to the they're just normal cheeses competition I'd like to present what I believe is a strong possibly delusional entry ladies and
49:47 - 50:11
gentlemen let's play they're just normal cheeses five four three two one
50:16 - 50:49
one cheese this is cheese curdle what did you fondue yesterday I I a while back in St Andrews I bought a pair of socks from an actual sock shop I wear them regularly here we go thank you they have cheese on them and I love
50:49 - 51:01
them a lot last week while wearing said socks it suddenly hit me what if the cheese on my socks is destined to marry the cheese chosen by DOD the cheese is there sorry the brie is there the Cashel Blue is definitely there so let's see if the rest
51:01 - 51:15
of the family has turned up to my official cheese guesses are I may say just at this point very disappointed that no one has entered the plate competition of the second cheese board maybe Mars Bar is hiding those emails from me because he can't face another cheese board
51:15 - 51:36
competition well we have one running you can't have concurrent cheese board competitions on the same podcast which is ostensibly not about cheese but I think you can anyway my official cheese guesses are brie bing bing bing Wensleydale with cranberries edam
51:36 - 51:44
oh is that uh uh uh that was the baby bell oh amazing pecorino romano
51:46 - 51:54
cashel blue so hang on is that in what place is that in fifth it's in fifth no bing
51:58 - 52:11
are you using your dad's macbook air for this I think it needs rebooting he says for reference socks attached please treat this as admissible evidence so it's still a four three and a half cheese board four cheese board if this comes off I'd like full credit to
52:11 - 52:25
be given to fate destiny and the st andrews sock economy love the pod love you all steve so there we are oh I've seen you i mean this is not meant as a clue but these are just normal cheeses sorry the rebel cheese quiz it's here
52:25 - 52:39
james says I hadn't looked this far down the running order hi max david mars bar and will as the day on which david served the cheese which led to the formation of the breakaway rebel curdle iii quiz 15th of january is my birthday I was hoping you
52:39 - 52:54
might let me have the first guess hoping I still get a bing but appreciate that might be a trademark of the original curdle corporation and catchphrase so no worries if not you get a shitty plate version of it busy ring one that's running out of batteries
52:54 - 53:15
remind us whose cheese board this was I mean this was a a helencopter's friends came over we got a big takeaway and then I had some crackers left over from christmas I just got two cheeses just to there and there okay some love so this is
53:15 - 53:25
the rebel cheese quiz the rebel cheese alliance quiz my guesses are brie bing bing bing bing bing gruyere
53:27 - 53:38
oh so it's a one cheese board on the rebel cheese quiz it's a three and a half cheese board on curdle ii and the rebel cheese quiz is a one cheese board everyone is welcome to take part and if you'd like to get in touch with the
53:38 - 53:51
podcast here is how to get in touch with the show you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com follow us on instagram at yesterday pod and please subscribe and
53:51 - 53:56
leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't
53:59 - 54:05
so there we are wow what an episode so much happens in these and yet nothing happens yeah
54:07 - 54:15
yeah fix the door i'm in it for life i don't know about you i mean i know you are in it for life i think you'd want to be in it for life but there's a little part of me that's thinking you regret
54:15 - 54:22
saying you're in it for life but you're just too kind to not be in it for life so you're in it for life i am in it for life
54:25 - 55:01
bye mags cheers david hello yesterday fans it's me david o'doherty the 1990 east leinster under 14s triple jump bronze medalist with a little bit of news that max and i are doing a live show this time in my home dublin city where the ejector seat was invented also
55:01 - 55:20
i think the hypodermic needle and someone told me the birthday candles you blow out and they come back on it was to do with i think a lot of explosive type stuff was invented there and that was a byproduct anyway we're doing a live show on the
55:20 - 55:41
3rd of march in dublin's beautiful vicar street uh tickets are on sale now it's kind of wild we're doing dublin on the 3rd of march and melbourne on the 3rd of april and if anyone apart from us goes to both of those gigs you get a
55:41 - 55:49
special prize uh this is my announcement now please enjoy the rest of the podcast you