S4 EP5: Richard Herring

0:01 - 0:29

Hello Yesterday fans, it's me David O'Doherty the 1990 East Leinster under 14's triple jump bronze medalist with a little bit of news that Max and I are doing a live show this time in my home Dublin City where the ejector seat was invented also I think the hypodermic needle and someone told me that I was going to be a little bit of a show.

0:29 - 0:59

the birthday candles you blow out and they come back on it was to do with I think a lot of explosive type stuff was invented there and that was a byproduct anyway we're doing a live show on the 3rd of March in Dublin's beautiful Vicar Street tickets are on sale now it's kind of wild we're doing Dublin on the 3rd of March and Melbourne on the 3rd of April.

0:59 - 1:06

and if anyone apart from us goes to both of those gigs you get a special prize.

1:07 - 1:12

This is my announcement now please enjoy the rest of the podcast.

1:19 - 1:36

Podcasts there are millions of them some might say too many I have one already I don't have any because there are enough politics business sport you name it there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day but nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

1:36 - 1:47

Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.

1:47 - 1:57

We try and say it at the same time Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday. Nothing more.

1:57 - 2:06

Day before yesterday Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden.

2:06 - 2:20

And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to today's episode of What Did You Do Yesterday? My name is Max Rushden. Alongside me David O'Doherty. Welcome David.

2:21 - 2:36

Hello my name is David O'Doherty and a year and a half into this enterprise I mean we had Lineker on but Richard Herring is one of the pioneers I feel particularly in Britain of this

2:36 - 2:50

thing called podcasting. I mean I guess you are too Max. Well I didn't want to say I mean in the sports realm. Yeah. And also he's been writing his blog about what he does the day before.

2:50 - 3:02

We'll call it to separate it from yesterday in case there's any copyright clashes there. He's been doing that for 15 years as well. So I feel there's pressure on this one.

3:02 - 3:12

But most of it man I don't want to give any spoilers away but this is if you're interested in the roadworks of Hitchin this is the episode for you. It's all I'm saying.

3:15 - 3:26

Gas is coming people. Well you know everyone knows Richard from Roel Esteper which is a great podcast. Me and my wife listened to almost all of it while driving through Namibia.

3:26 - 3:33

Wow. Wow. Yeah back in the day. That's when we got up to date with RHLSTP and Jamie is a big fan.

3:33 - 3:43

That's Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre podcast. You will know Richard. Well you may know him if you're of an age.

3:44 - 3:54

In the 90s he had a double act with Stuart Lee and they made several very odd and wonderful series for BBC.

3:54 - 3:58

Yeah so good. Right in my wheelhouse. Fist of fun. This morning with Richard not Judy.

3:58 - 4:13

Really good stuff. Really inspired my generation then. So that's why yeah it was so good of him to do it and relate to us the traffic problems as a result of the gasworks in Hitchin.

4:14 - 4:21

Hitchin's. Hitchin? Hitchin's. Hitchin. Hitchin. It's on the grey West Anglia line from Cambridge to London.

4:21 - 4:24

That's where you'll know. And you'll know my friend Matt Skelding who went to Hitchin Boys School.

4:25 - 4:30

That's my Hitchin knowledge. Gosh I wonder if he's the Max that... No that's Matt.

4:30 - 4:34

Matt. It's not. Oh okay fine. He's now moved to Berkhamstead if you're really interested.

4:34 - 4:43

Can you tell us anything about your trip to Namibia on which you listened to Richard Arring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast?

4:43 - 4:50

Yes we had a tent on the top of the van. Oh wow. So you could sleep in the tent on top of the van but that meant you're on a campsite.

4:50 - 4:58

I don't like camping and also lions in Namibia. And they always would say there are no lions at this campsite and I'd be like but lions could get lost.

4:58 - 5:07

And lions also lost lions probably hungry lions. So I really didn't like getting... I like the bathroom to be in the same building as the bedroom.

5:07 - 5:12

Not in the same room but like close. And me and Jamie would quite often just wee off the ladder.

5:12 - 5:20

That's fair enough. Yeah. That's just another beautiful glimpse into their relationship. We are sponsored by Visit Namibia.

5:20 - 5:27

Wee off the ladder is what they say. Go to richardherring.com to find out fourth...

5:27 - 5:32

There's a bunch of new live shows coming up. I know David Mitchell is doing one always the best guests.

5:33 - 5:50

Let's just crack on with it. This is what Richard Herring did yesterday. Richard Herring, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

5:50 - 5:57

Hello, lovely to be here. My wife loves you. Oh good. I also am a big fan Richard but my wife.

5:57 - 6:05

This is the first time she's been excited about it. I did Richard's live podcast at the Edinburgh Fringe last year.

6:05 - 6:15

I did, yeah. Afterwards his son pointed at my greying beard and said that I had cobwebs in my beard like a gravestone.

6:15 - 6:27

I think is what he said. But I asked Richard then and with the increased pressure of your wife, Max, we've nailed the big one.

6:27 - 6:31

We've wound in. We've got him. He's stuck here now for hours. Well, I'll give her my love.

6:32 - 6:36

Say hello. If she loves me, that's more than my own wife does. No, I think my own wife does.

6:36 - 6:45

Hopefully. Fingers crossed. Oh no, that's a really bleak start to the podcast now whereby Richard and his wife have had a huge argument this morning.

6:45 - 6:50

Your wife has somehow mixed in with this whole thing, Max, with her constant messaging.

6:51 - 6:58

Dear, let's try and mend this feud now. Okay. Richard, what time did you wake up yesterday morning, please?

6:58 - 7:06

It was a relatively late start. It was 6.43, I think, when I looked at my watch.

7:06 - 7:12

Wow. My son usually comes in at, he's meant to wait till 6.15. That's the deal we've got with him.

7:13 - 7:17

Today he came in at 6. We rely on him to be an alarm clock, really.

7:18 - 7:22

So him coming at 6.43 and it was the second day of the school for the kids.

7:22 - 7:26

So there was a slight rush to get them to school as a result of that.

7:26 - 7:35

So do you say to him, you're late, goddammit. Well, I've been trying to go to bed a little bit early because I feel tired all the time.

7:35 - 7:39

Now I'm not working at night at the moment. I've been trying to go to sleep at 10 if I can.

7:39 - 7:44

And I've had a few nights of sleeping, like seven to eight hours, which is insane.

7:44 - 7:54

Wow. But then I'm still woke up. I used to wake up before him because I'd anticipate he was going to wake up and I'd be awake in my 50s thinking, oh, this is just it.

7:54 - 7:58

I'm going to wake at 5.30. But now he is actually waking me up every morning.

7:58 - 8:02

So I was annoyed to be woken up at 6.43. But then went, oh, well, that's pretty good.

8:02 - 8:09

My sleep score will be good today. My question is, does he come in immediately with harsh criticism of your physical appearance?

8:10 - 8:16

He comes in and he says, father, I notice a lot of your older clothes don't fit you anymore.

8:17 - 8:23

You seem to be destined for death, as we all are. But you in the short term, maybe.

8:23 - 8:27

No, he's quite nice in the morning. Well, I mean, you know, you've seen the more satirical side of him.

8:28 - 8:33

And later in the day, he is a bit cheeky. But in the morning, he's usually quite loving.

8:33 - 8:38

This morning, I know we don't want to talk about this morning. No, interesting. But he came in and told me he loved me and wanted a cuddle.

8:38 - 8:41

But yesterday morning, I think it was just wake up. It's time to get up.

8:41 - 8:45

But I'm so, you know, you're so bleary. I don't remember. I mean, I find it.

8:45 - 8:50

Look, I should be good at this podcast because I've written a daily blog every day for 23 years.

8:50 - 8:58

Well, I have to think. I do it the day after. I have to think about what I did the day before and find something funny to write about, which is increasingly difficult.

8:58 - 9:08

But I find now that even when I sit down at 10 o'clock in the morning and I find it very difficult to remember what I did even the day before.

9:08 - 9:14

You know, I tried to leave little notes on social media to remind myself. Like my memories got really, really bad.

9:14 - 9:19

But that, yes, I don't remember anything really beyond. He woke me up and he dragged me downstairs.

9:19 - 9:25

And I try to give my wife a lie in because I'll just say I'm better in the morning than she is.

9:25 - 9:32

That's all I would say. Max, this is the difficulty of having a podcast pioneer like Richard Herring on the podcast.

9:32 - 9:45

Of course. Because not only has he been doing our podcast since 2009 with his daily blogs, he also in 2013 did a sort of dream meal one.

9:45 - 9:52

He did one called The Rest is Entertainment in 2014. Yeah. He did The News Agents in 2015.

9:52 - 9:58

Yeah, that's what I've done all of them. He's been doing the Joe Herring Rogan four hour one.

9:58 - 10:02

It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. And a lot of different voices I've got to come up with as well.

10:02 - 10:07

Of course. So your son, what age is your son? My son is eight. Eight.

10:08 - 10:13

Okay. He's in full admin mode. My daughter's nearly 11 and she sleeps. So we have to wake her up.

10:13 - 10:22

So I will usually try and do the morning. Sometimes, about once a fortnight, my wife lets me have a lie in him because I just get to a point where I'm too tired to do it usually.

10:22 - 10:29

Yeah. But I will usually do at least the first bit. But as they've gone back to school again, it is a bit like everyone has to get up now.

10:29 - 10:39

I have a question about being eight. Do you, as Max's children, wake up and you're just fully immediate, like you want a dance party?

10:39 - 10:45

Or when you're eight, are you starting to feel a bleariness? Is there a slow warm up to the day?

10:46 - 10:51

Or straight in? I mean, he's pretty much straight in. He isn't too, I mean, he gets more exuberant.

10:51 - 10:59

He is like, he's a lot, my son. And he does keep going. And it's more like about five o'clock that he starts losing it.

10:59 - 11:01

So he's pretty good in the morning. But he does, he wants to come down.

11:02 - 11:10

He just wants to go on his iPad and watch YouTube videos about video games, which my wife really doesn't want him to go on YouTube.

11:10 - 11:19

We allow half an hour of iPad time in the morning. And so I'm trying to feel, I'm not as strict a parent as my wife and I'm not as good a parent as my wife.

11:19 - 11:24

And so for ease, I will sometimes allow him to watch something he's not meant to watch.

11:24 - 11:29

But I try and push him towards, I say, if you watch something educational on YouTube, that's fine.

11:29 - 11:36

It's quite a blurred line. So he's been watching quite a lot of stuff about the Loch Ness Monster and things like that, which I suppose is educational.

11:37 - 11:49

Feels educational to me. I think that is. I think that is. It's like that classic gray area, like on Naked Attraction, where they're like, tattoos have been around for thousands of years.

11:49 - 11:54

And you're like, is this educational? I don't think, I think it's just sad old willies.

11:56 - 12:03

Okay, so 643, do you instantly like thrust the iPad into his hand? Because then you get half an hour of quiet time.

12:03 - 12:09

So I've got to come downstairs. I've got to make breakfast for him. And myself.

12:10 - 12:16

And then Phoebe will come down and make breakfast. Hers is easier. His appetite at the moment seems just unquenchable.

12:17 - 12:21

Right. He still has these Ellers, which are little squeezy bottles of baby food, basically.

12:21 - 12:27

But he hasn't realized they're baby food. And they're a good way of getting fruit into it.

12:27 - 12:32

So he has an Ellers every morning. And it says baby breakfast on it. So at some point he's going to go.

12:32 - 12:36

But he doesn't seem phased by that at the moment. I like his eight and not on solids.

12:36 - 12:42

He's not on solids yet. But then he'll have some cereal. Once apple juice. Then about 10 minutes later ago, I'm still hungry.

12:42 - 12:46

And I'll try and get some fruit in him. We had some croissants in the freezer.

12:46 - 12:54

So I've unfrozen croissant. It's like Henry VIII. He has a pigeon, a fresh pigeon.

12:56 - 13:00

Whereas I'm trying to cook for myself. And I have quite an unusual breakfast. Oh, yeah.

13:00 - 13:05

Which is, if I have the stuff in, I have a tuna stir fry for breakfast.

13:05 - 13:10

Oh, that's fucked. Oh, God. Jesus. It's absolutely bleak. How long has this been going on?

13:10 - 13:17

It's not every day. But quite a few years ago, I did a thing for Men's Health where they took comedians and gave them personal trainings and nutritionists.

13:17 - 13:21

And, you know, before and after. It was quite good. I got quite fit that summer.

13:21 - 13:29

It was like 2014. I think it was a long time ago. But the nutritionist said, try and eat a kilo of vegetables a day and try and put vegetables in your breakfast.

13:30 - 13:34

So she was suggesting putting vegetables in porridge, which was what I ate mainly at the time.

13:34 - 13:40

Whoa. Which was disgusting. What a veggie are you putting in porridge? You can't put an overgee.

13:40 - 13:43

It makes me feel sick to think about it, but I can't remember. I mean, it might have been asparagus.

13:44 - 13:49

I was just trying anything in there, but it did not work. And I like to have fruit and nuts in my porridge.

13:49 - 13:53

And I'm not going savoury and it's sweeter. I don't have any sugar or anything in the porridge.

13:53 - 13:57

Anyway, so I think through that, I kind of thought, well, this is quite good.

13:57 - 14:00

If you can eat kind of a load of vegetables in the morning, then that's a good start to the day.

14:01 - 14:05

So actually, yes, they had prawns because I didn't have any tuna in. But yes, I'll have a, if I've got the stuff in.

14:05 - 14:08

And once you get used to it, I don't put any sauce or anything like that on it.

14:08 - 14:12

It's just, or any noodles in or anything like it. It's just vegetable and fish, basically.

14:12 - 14:20

But yesterday, specifically, it was prawns. Prawns and a mushroom stir fry from Marks and Spencer's, half a pack of that.

14:20 - 14:26

Honestly, I'm so used to it now. And everyone says it's insane. There's some nuts, put some nuts in and some seeds in.

14:26 - 14:34

And I'm constantly just trying to keep my weight down. And I go through periods where I do really well and periods where I do badly.

14:34 - 14:40

But I sort of feel like at least if I have a really healthy meal to start the day, that's pretty good.

14:40 - 14:47

And it isn't, you know, it doesn't feel weird to me anymore. And like, if you go to hotels, like, I don't know, if you're in Asia and at a hotel.

14:47 - 14:50

Of course, yeah. But there's all those different kinds of things that people have at breakfast.

14:50 - 14:58

It's just what you're used to in terms of, I mean, in a way, having bacon and eggs and all that crap is a really weird thing to do for breakfast, I think.

14:58 - 15:02

And I can't face that now. When I go to a hotel, I used to go, oh, I'll have a bacon and eggs.

15:02 - 15:05

And now if I go to a hotel, I cannot face having bacon and eggs.

15:05 - 15:12

I just have porridge. Does your house, not to put too fine a point on it, does the house reek of jizz first thing in the morning?

15:12 - 15:17

Like that awful, is that in fact what wakes up everyone else in the house?

15:17 - 15:22

I don't put any jizz in there. David's men's health was weird when they went.

15:24 - 15:28

There's a lot of protein in that, but I don't know. I'm not sure I'd eat my own.

15:28 - 15:37

If it is, I don't notice. But it's sort of a weird juggling thing because my wife very much is like she can literally only do one thing at a time.

15:37 - 15:43

If she's doing something, you can't really even talk to her. I'm spinning plates. I've got to, you know, I'm making three breakfasts.

15:43 - 15:48

My wife usually feeds the cats. There's a dog walk to work in. There's taking the kids to school to work in.

15:48 - 15:52

Once my wife's up, we sort of divide those up usually. Sometimes I'll do both.

15:52 - 16:03

Got to make school lunch. Got to make sure everyone's dressed and everything. So Katie comes in and does kind of help with all that stuff, especially getting the right bags for school, which isn't something I do.

16:03 - 16:11

Yesterday, I didn't do the kids. Just like obviously your children would be horrified if they had the mystery prawn meal.

16:12 - 16:19

So are you making three to four entirely separate breakfasts? That would be impressive. Yeah, no, I really am.

16:19 - 16:24

So, you know, they all want specific things. If I'm making porridge, I'll make that for Katie because Katie loves porridge.

16:24 - 16:29

Obviously, she's not mad. She's not going to have a tuna stir fry. Phoebe is quite easy, though.

16:29 - 16:33

She'll have a glass of milk and then maybe a piece of toast. It sort of varies.

16:33 - 16:37

We've got to stick to the brief here, Richard. It can't vary. It's just yesterday.

16:37 - 16:43

Yesterday, she had a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey on it. And I think that was it.

16:43 - 16:49

But, you know, when you're doing five, six different things, I've got to take a pill first thing in the morning for my blood pressure.

16:49 - 16:54

And I'm not supposed to eat for half an hour after that pill, which adds another thing into that morning routine.

16:54 - 17:00

Because I sometimes don't worry about it. So I take a few vitamins in the morning, my blood pressure pill.

17:00 - 17:03

Yeah, then I have to wait. But luckily, the stir fry takes a while to cook.

17:03 - 17:12

While your eight-year-old is just ordering course after course after course. Okay, so what time does your wife, what time does she come down the stairs?

17:12 - 17:18

Yesterday, it was because it was a school day. She came down pretty fast. And because we were late, she came down pretty much straight away.

17:18 - 17:26

So I kind of, I think I won't both Katie and Phoebe up. So she was down by, yeah, sort of five to eight, probably.

17:26 - 17:29

Oh, wow, five to eight. Hang on. So you are 643 and she's five to eight.

17:30 - 17:39

No, five to seven, five to seven. Okay, right. Okay. Can I just ask, because we were recording this in early Jan, are there new resolutions in the offing?

17:40 - 17:45

You know, is anything unusual here? Have you decided to change the order of the morning?

17:46 - 17:55

We haven't made any resolutions re-breakfast, I don't think. I'm in a weird position in my life where I'm 58 and we're 59 this year.

17:55 - 18:00

My mum retired when she was 58. She was a teacher and retired at 58. It's still a lot.

18:00 - 18:05

She had 30 years of her time. And so far, my mother and is very happy with it.

18:05 - 18:11

And, you know, you're sort of at that point where my job is to write, really.

18:11 - 18:15

I would obviously have the podcasts I make a living from and stand-up I can make a living from when I do it.

18:15 - 18:18

I'm taking a bit of a break from stand-up and sort of working on a new show later in the year.

18:19 - 18:25

You know, I'm in this position where I'm almost resolving, right, I've got them. I'm not really doing anything in January apart from a few podcasts.

18:25 - 18:28

I've got quite a few recorded in advance. I don't have to do too many.

18:28 - 18:33

So maybe I should sit down and write. And then there's a part of me that thinks, yeah, well, maybe I should just do nothing.

18:34 - 18:40

Let's retire. Yeah. Let's retire. It's really hard writing. So I'm sort of resolved to get on with stuff.

18:40 - 18:49

And then, but so far this year, I've just thought, fuck it, I can't. I wouldn't fancy, like, because you read about, you know, French train drivers get to retire in their early 50s.

18:49 - 18:57

And, well, firstly, your mother is Jessica Fletcher and would nod to a lifetime of writing and solving about crime.

18:57 - 19:02

Of course. So you can argue whether she did retire. Yeah. I wouldn't enjoy retirement.

19:03 - 19:11

At the moment, I'm just talking, I know I will get back into it. And I love doing, you know, if I don't go on stage for a few weeks, I kind of get a bit antsy and weird.

19:11 - 19:19

I know I'm not going to sort of stop everything, but I guess it's just the writing side of stuff, which over the years, you know, I've really worked hard at writing.

19:19 - 19:25

And it's such a thankless task. And you do so much stuff that nothing ever happens with you.

19:25 - 19:29

And every time you start, so I'm sort of at the point of thinking, oh, well, I can start a few new projects.

19:29 - 19:35

I've got too many different ideas. And also I'm thinking, is there any point? Because they won't know if it's going to happen.

19:35 - 19:40

Yeah. And then when you're 58, you kind of think, I might just have three or four years of life left.

19:41 - 19:49

I might have 40 or 50. And it's very difficult to judge. You go, well, if I've got, if I've got 30 years left, I should probably do some more work because I need, that's a lot of time.

19:49 - 19:54

But if I've only got three or four years left, you know, maybe I should sit in Cafe Nero playing poker.

19:54 - 20:08

You don't just spend your last years writing another failed pilot. But I think you could hasten that, Richard, if you stopped taking the blood pressure tablets and then having ham and eggs for breakfast every morning, that at least you could go.

20:08 - 20:19

Probably only got another few to go. So let's party. Yeah, true. So between, you know, five to seven and five to eight, it's basically an hour of chaos of everyone getting dressed, everyone eating.

20:20 - 20:25

Is the vibe good yesterday? Is there a happiness in the air or is it very much, we've got to get ready?

20:25 - 20:31

It was okay yesterday. Sometimes the grownups can bring a cloud of disappointment and anger.

20:33 - 20:42

But actually, it was quite good, except we were just, you know, you suddenly realize that extra half an hour or whatever that we slept in does give you some wiggle room.

20:42 - 20:44

So it's just sort of thinking, oh, I've got to do this, got to do this.

20:44 - 20:50

Phoebe made the school lunches, which is nice. So she fried up some like cheese wraps and she made quite a nice school lunch for them both.

20:51 - 20:55

I had to take the kids to school because Kate was going to go out and she walked the dog yesterday.

20:55 - 20:58

So usually I walk the dog and that's, but I did walk the dog later.

20:58 - 21:01

We'll talk about that later. We can drop the kids off at school at eight.

21:01 - 21:05

They don't start school till late 30, but we can drop them at eight, which is great.

21:05 - 21:15

Get rid of them. So like it actually means if you can drop them at eight, if the traffic's okay, which it often isn't on the way back, you can be home by quarter past eight, you know, straight into your day.

21:16 - 21:24

Yesterday, I think we left the house at eight. Hitchin at the moment has a lot of roadworks going on, including in our road.

21:24 - 21:28

Right. Our road is officially closed. So like it's open at one end for access.

21:29 - 21:35

We're lucky. Our house is one of the only ones with the drive. But if we park on the drive, often cars park in front of the gates, which is a problem.

21:36 - 21:42

And yesterday there was a massive lorry parked outside. Sometimes you can use the pavement.

21:42 - 21:53

They put some kind of little cubicle there so you can't use the pavement. So I had to get out onto the road and then just sneak past this big lorry.

21:53 - 21:57

I wasn't sure there was enough room. Something had just come the other way. So it was quite stressful.

21:57 - 22:01

Then I had to turn around and go past the lorry, the only way I could go and turn around.

22:02 - 22:05

And later in the day, they were blocking the entrance when I had to go pick up the kids.

22:05 - 22:16

So that's a big problem. But also like about three or four other roads, major roads in and out of Hitchin, including the road to our kids' school, have been closed,

22:16 - 22:22

either completely closed or partially closed recently. So usually the journey in school is quite OK and the journey back is difficult.

22:22 - 22:29

But at the moment, both journeys are hampered by Hitchin deciding to do all their roadworks at the same time.

22:29 - 22:42

But I mean, the positive is for the first time, the town of Hitchin, birthplace of the Hitchin's brothers, no doubt, will have heat and you won't have to go out and cut down a tree or whatever.

22:42 - 22:46

You know what I mean? Just to get the furnace going before you wake everyone up.

22:47 - 22:51

They're not bringing gas to us for the first time, David. Again, you are misinterpreting.

22:52 - 23:00

I think for comedic effect. I think when David and I first met and we said, there are not enough podcasts that are majoring on the roadworks of Hitchin.

23:02 - 23:06

Finally, we've got that. Are the kids saying, can you put on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show?

23:06 - 23:15

No, they were really fighting yesterday. That was the thing. So as I was trying to navigate past this lorry, they were hitting each other.

23:15 - 23:21

I was going, you really can't do this now. I've got to get this car through a space that is literally one centimetre bigger than the car.

23:23 - 23:30

So Ernie had hit Phoebe and then Phoebe was very angry. And then she didn't hit him back straight away, but she was really angry.

23:30 - 23:35

He'd hit her. You know, then you've got to threaten them with the loss of iPad time or TV.

23:36 - 23:41

And I was pretty weak. And I said, look, if this is the first thing in the morning, I'm going to let this ride.

23:41 - 23:46

As long as there's no more, I won't. But if you do any more, we'll lose iPad time.

23:47 - 23:51

Phoebe was cross about that because she felt she hadn't done anything and Ernie had hit her.

23:51 - 23:57

So she then hit her. I need to get people. Okay. For justice. See, I'm very bad at this.

23:57 - 24:04

And Katie would be so cross with them. I mean, I was cross with them, but she would really have followed through as well.

24:04 - 24:08

But I decided to say, look, if you stop it now, we'll draw a line under it.

24:08 - 24:14

But they still didn't really. So I think I did say I would take some iPad time away from them later.

24:14 - 24:25

Soon you'll be able to threaten them. When heat comes to the village, you'll be able to be like, if you don't stop hitting each other, you won't have the 15 minutes of delicious gas heat in your bedroom.

24:26 - 24:32

What's the basis of their disagreements generally? He's very like me and is quite annoying.

24:32 - 24:36

He's a little brother. It's more just like, I can't remember what it was. I mean, it just is.

24:36 - 24:42

I mean, Phoebe's like 11, 10 or 11 going on 15 and Ernie is eight going on four. Right.

24:42 - 24:48

And so I think often it's just him getting in her face and getting in a grill a bit and him wanting to be involved.

24:49 - 24:56

Often they play very nicely together, especially, you know, on video games and stuff. But, you know, Phoebe's got a phone and she's starting to talk to her friends.

24:57 - 25:01

And Ernie's sort of trying to get in on that a little bit, even though, you know, they're not interested.

25:01 - 25:05

It's a class of cultures, isn't it? It's a class of cultures. It's really difficult.

25:05 - 25:10

And I remember being the annoying little brother. So I kind of have sympathy with both of them.

25:10 - 25:22

That's obviously a different time now, isn't it? But my dad used to reach back around in the bowl and grab the nearest knee and give it a bit of a squeeze as the angle to get Susie's knee in the way.

25:22 - 25:28

But I'm with Phoebe. There is the justice. You know, she's the thing. I deserve one free hit of my brother.

25:29 - 25:34

Well, I think that's what I decided in the end. Just for you, you know, and you hear terrible stories, don't you?

25:34 - 25:38

And nothing. I mean, the worst that would have happened is I'd scrape the car because we were going very slowly.

25:38 - 25:47

But it is that, you know, when you've got that much noise and that much stuff going on and you're trying to do something very intricate, you can understand why people absolutely lose their temper.

25:47 - 26:01

But no, I wouldn't really even have thought of me joining in the hitting. Max, what Richard isn't telling us is that the car he drives is like a monster truck with Richard Herring's Leicester Square podcast written on the side of it.

26:01 - 26:06

It's a massive road. It's like a four-line road in LA. He can't get through in his Hummer.

26:06 - 26:15

It's his massive Hummer. Okay, school drop-off. How does that work? Are they embarrassed at your existence?

26:15 - 26:20

Do they make you drop them off around the corner? Or are they happy for you to drive right up to the gates?

26:20 - 26:24

They are okay. So I drive in, there's a little car park, which if you get there early enough, you can park in.

26:25 - 26:30

Interesting, yesterday, Phoebe was still annoyed about everything that had gone on and felt there'd been injustice.

26:30 - 26:33

She was sort of walking away from me grumpily. And I said, oh, come on, give me a hug.

26:33 - 26:37

Give me a hug in front of one of the teachers, which I think did embarrass her a little bit.

26:37 - 26:42

I take them into the school. And then because they're early, they get dropped off in a little classroom together.

26:42 - 26:46

So I dropped Ernie off and I said, no fighting. And the teacher said, was he fighting yesterday?

26:46 - 26:54

I said, no, no, no, he's just been fighting. Do they ask you to host raffles and stuff like that in the school as an entity?

26:54 - 27:03

Good question. Good question. It's a good question. They have not yet. Yet. And we've been at a few different schools because we moved and we actually just moved them from a different school where things weren't really working out.

27:03 - 27:11

So they've had three schools in three years. Weirdly, the school in Whitwell, the village where we live, we did gigs for the nursery there.

27:11 - 27:17

And then we didn't get into the school. And then we still end up doing gigs for the nursery.

27:17 - 27:21

So every year we'd do a gig for the nursery, even though we had to go to a different village.

27:21 - 27:30

The next school, we did one year, we did a very successful stand-up show. And then the next year I said, oh, just I can't commit in advance, but let me know when you're going to do it.

27:30 - 27:35

And then they just didn't give me the date and didn't let me know. And then the first I saw of it was in the newsletter.

27:35 - 27:40

And I said, oh, I can't do that date. But it's difficult, isn't it? Because my stuff's quite full on.

27:41 - 27:47

When you're doing that stuff in a school hall, it feels like a little bit of a different environment.

27:48 - 27:55

Max can't really be asked to do this because his other job is hosting a football podcast.

27:55 - 28:04

So it'll be him sitting in the school hall with all the parents and him going, so who thinks Maresco could be going to Manchester United?

28:04 - 28:11

David, would he fill a gap till the end of the season? Right, OK, so drop-off is done.

28:11 - 28:17

You're free, you're back in the car. Obviously, you've got to negotiate the tricky roadworks of hitching.

28:17 - 28:24

But presuming that all goes well, we're back home. What's happening now? So yeah, I'm just trying to think, yes, the day.

28:24 - 28:31

Yeah, that's the key. I did think about this. This is like you've lost your keys and we're saying, just retrace your steps.

28:31 - 28:37

It is, but not very much happens. I came back, Katie had done the dog, so I didn't have to do the dog walk.

28:37 - 28:43

So that gave me something. So I sat down and I probably tried to write my blog, which is for the previous day.

28:44 - 28:51

This is, again, something I have done every single day. Sometimes I catch up a couple of days at a time if I've really been too busy to do it.

28:51 - 28:56

But I've got an entry for every single day for 23 years, 23 and a bit years.

28:56 - 29:05

You're right, you should be better at remembering what you did. But it was always a little bit, you know, like it sort of is weird when you force yourself to look back at the day, which I'm sure you get a bit with people.

29:05 - 29:09

It was always quite hard to think of, luckily with you, I don't have to think of anything funny.

29:09 - 29:15

You're just interested in what happened. If you're trying to think of something entertaining to entertain people, that's quite hard.

29:15 - 29:20

I got to the point actually with the blog where I thought, well, look, you know, sometimes I'd sit there for two or three hours and think I can't think of anything.

29:20 - 29:27

And then occasionally something would pop in, like actually someone likes yogurt, which became a show, was the result of me sitting there for two hours and thinking I can't think of anything.

29:28 - 29:32

And then remembering the checkout lady saying someone likes yogurt when I bought nine yogurts at once.

29:33 - 29:37

And then it became like a very popular blog and then a stand-up routine and then an entire show.

29:38 - 29:43

But you've got to sort of give yourself permission to fail and just actually go, right, I'm going to write about this and see what happens.

29:43 - 29:50

So like, I think I just had that kind of annoying like morning where I was, I've started playing a lot of online poker instead of working.

29:50 - 29:55

I think I started playing online poker because I was going to write about online poker and I thought I need a picture of online poker.

29:55 - 30:01

So I then started playing online poker. Now, question. Yeah. Are you playing for big money on online poker?

30:02 - 30:10

I've lost a lot of money online, I think, over the years because I would, I sometimes would go beyond my, beyond my area and sometimes just try stuff.

30:10 - 30:15

But I also got, I kind of got into online gambling a little bit and that's where I've lost more money in the old days.

30:15 - 30:25

With poker, I'm good enough to basically keep my head above water just about. What I did, I started playing on a site where it's a four piece person table, which I think is more interesting.

30:25 - 30:29

And I've just decided I'd play very low stakes. So it's a pound a game I usually play.

30:30 - 30:34

18 months ago, I got down to one pound left. So I had one game left.

30:34 - 30:38

But those are going to be big cards here. I managed to build that back up to 300 pounds.

30:39 - 30:42

What? Over the last year, I've got back to one pound again, actually the last game.

30:42 - 30:46

But I really don't want to put any more money in. Won that, got back to 300 pounds.

30:47 - 30:54

Yes. Last week, I'm now down to 120 pounds again because I've started playing a few four pound and 10 pound games.

30:54 - 30:59

And it's amazing how, you know, you just have these moments where you can win 100 quid in a day, even on quite small stakes.

30:59 - 31:05

The site I play, it sort of has a mystery box. So you don't, you win a mystery amount.

31:05 - 31:08

So if it's a pound, you'll sometimes only win two pounds, even though you won the game.

31:08 - 31:15

But you can win 80 pounds or a thousand pounds. I once had 5,000 pounds or something in my box, but I didn't win that game.

31:15 - 31:23

I stopped playing for about three years after that because it was so disappointing. But, you know, so sometimes you can have a couple of big wins and then you play a couple of higher stakes and you can win 100 quid in a day.

31:24 - 31:31

But you can equally, you know, in the last three or four days, I've just, there was definitely some bad luck and there was a lot of hit runner, runner, you know, you going at the right

31:31 - 31:40

time and then it's Texas Hold'em. So if they get the two cards they need as the last two cards or two hearts or, you know, eight and four and make a straight or whatever.

31:40 - 31:49

I had a lot of that happening against me. But I think also maybe I started chasing a bit and maybe started getting annoyed and started playing a bit differently.

31:49 - 31:55

And it's interesting how you can win a lot and then lose a lot. But I'm, you know, I'm still on 120 pounds starting from one pound.

31:55 - 32:06

In periods where you felt, oh God, I'm doing this too much. Does, I think it's a Martin Amos line about, he used to gamble a lot, but he used to have to go to the bookies to do it.

32:06 - 32:10

Yeah. And one day he said he realized he wasn't surrounded by rich people getting richer.

32:10 - 32:15

And that clicked something in his brain that he needed to stop doing this. Yeah.

32:15 - 32:24

In periods where you've been doing it too much, do you sort of abstract yourself and see just a sad man sitting in his undies playing at a computer?

32:24 - 32:29

Or what's the mind trick you use? Yeah. I mean, I think it is that.

32:29 - 32:34

I think, you know, for poker and the level of poker I'm at at the moment, it's not, this isn't, the only issue is time.

32:34 - 32:39

I guess if you end up wasting loads of your working time on it. It's, you know, I'm not losing money.

32:39 - 32:43

I'm not making loads of money. I'm enjoying it. Okay. So look, you do a little bit of poker.

32:43 - 32:56

You write your blog and is your blog about poker? It was a little bit about this, what I just talked about this kind of early year period where I'm thinking, do I want to push myself back into writing or do I want to, you know.

32:56 - 33:05

Just die. Just die in a few years. Yeah. You know, I can probably, I can make enough money from doing the podcast to keep me going for the moment.

33:05 - 33:08

You know, I don't know how long the podcast has been going a long time.

33:08 - 33:18

We've been making money on it in the last five or six years. You know, it feels like we're going down on listeners and earning money, but it's still earning nice money.

33:18 - 33:23

And so, you know, I could probably carry on doing that forever if I want to.

33:23 - 33:29

And as a comedian, especially as creating new stuff, you never really have a guaranteed income.

33:29 - 33:36

But with the podcast, certainly for a lot of the last five years, I've known I'm going to make some money every month.

33:36 - 33:41

So does the blog conclude, do you get to a space where you go, maybe I'll just coast because it's easy?

33:42 - 33:52

You know, I think that's how I felt on that day. But I think also I know that I, I mean, I love doing stuff and that, you know, what annoys me about these periods where you have the time and you end up not doing any work.

33:52 - 34:03

And it's hard because as we say, we've got, you've only got that little window and there's lots of other bits of admin and stuff to do, but you sort of feel like, you know, when you're in a position where you don't have to get paid for the writing.

34:03 - 34:09

And this is what as a young man, I would have dreamed of is saying, like, you can write anything you want, have a go at it.

34:09 - 34:12

And it doesn't matter. You're still getting paid for something else. You don't have to worry about the bills.

34:13 - 34:28

So you could sit down and write all day long. And I think the thing I, I suppose I would have loved is if that time had arrived when I was in my thirties and early forties, when I was sort of, it's about being hungry for it.

34:28 - 34:32

And I don't think I don't have the hunger to go. I'm going to work for 18 hours a day.

34:32 - 34:35

But when I was in my thirties, I just was obsessed with comedy and writing.

34:35 - 34:40

And if someone had given me the work, I would have written a thousand episodes of a sitcom or whatever.

34:41 - 34:48

It would, I could have done it. And I'd slightly regret that the timing of that is different because now I just sort of think, well, I don't know if I can be arsed.

34:48 - 34:58

I mean, I worked pretty hard in my thirties and forties, but I did, I was haunted by the fact that I possibly wasn't having a nice time.

34:58 - 35:14

Like, you know, when you read those clickbait articles of people on their deathbeds always say they wish they'd, you know, it's always fairly basic stuff, enjoyed things more rather than just sat there all the time thinking I should be doing something else.

35:14 - 35:18

How do you get around that then, Richard? Well, I don't, you know, I don't think I was very happy.

35:18 - 35:25

And I think like that's part of what this is about. You know, I've got a young family and my family make me very arguments aside, make me very happy.

35:25 - 35:28

And even the arguments, I kind of enjoy it already. I really like being a dad.

35:29 - 35:32

I think the truth is, you know, and I'm really glad to be able to take my life.

35:32 - 35:40

I've thought of the gas a bit in terms of that, you know, and so like I had a job in November where I had to be away a lot and then I can go, okay, well, look, I can be

35:40 - 35:45

home for a couple of months or, you know, maybe the rest of 2026 at the moment for most of the time.

35:45 - 35:56

And I'm definitely much more content. I think that's what part of this is, you know, but I also, you know, I think as you get older, you're just sort of thinking, what are the chances of this project getting off the ground?

35:56 - 36:03

What's the project? Is it even worth, you know, cause I would, I might've done all that work and, you know, I did get stuff on and I was doing okay in my, in my thirties.

36:03 - 36:12

I just felt like I was hungry for it. And now I feel like I've taken writers as Empik and I can do a certain amount of writing.

36:12 - 36:17

I mean, I write a blog every day. So I'm writing every single day and I think the blog's quite good and it's quite entertaining.

36:17 - 36:22

And it's obviously just something I give away for free. But yeah, I mean, it's also about exactly that.

36:22 - 36:29

What is it worth? It felt so important as a younger person and now it doesn't feel as important though.

36:29 - 36:35

I love, you know, I still love the doing the job, but it doesn't feel like, oh, I have to be the best or I have to be the most famous.

36:35 - 36:40

It's just like, it's a weird little hinterland. I mean, just probably just this week, to be honest.

36:40 - 36:45

Well, I hate to bring both of you to the brief. It's not comedians talking about what they wrote in their thirties.

36:45 - 36:49

All I care about is when did you finish the blog and what did you do after it?

36:49 - 36:53

So there was a few things to think of. I had to walk the dog and they're like, time gets away from you.

36:53 - 36:58

So Katie was out all day working somewhere else. So I had to walk the dog to do the lunchtime work.

36:58 - 37:05

Second dog walk. Yeah, there's three dogs. It's a big, she's a German shepherd across with a husky and she needs at least to go out three times.

37:05 - 37:10

But we ideally do a longish one in the morning and then the other two don't need to be as long.

37:10 - 37:13

So I need to at least get the dog out for it to do a poo, hopefully.

37:13 - 37:20

Okay. And did you succeed? I don't think she did a poo at lunchtime. And we'll get to the evening walk later and I'll tell you about the poo and that one.

37:20 - 37:25

Unfortunately, the dog bit through the new gaff mane and the whole thing has to be started again.

37:27 - 37:31

But I also remembered that I was playing tennis at one o'clock and I nearly forgot.

37:31 - 37:34

Oh, here we go. Like at about 12 o'clock I went, oh shit, I'm going to walk the dog.

37:34 - 37:39

I've got to get something. So I had a piece of toast just so that I'd eaten something for lunch.

37:39 - 37:45

Just plain? I had some marmite on it, a very thick marmite on it. I like a little bit of butter, soda bread.

37:45 - 37:50

Question. So are we saying like two millimetres of what's the thickness of the marmite?

37:50 - 37:56

I mean, it's thicker than you'd think. Think of the thickest marmite you'd reasonably expect someone to put on a piece of toast.

37:56 - 37:59

I mean, it can't be more than half a centimetre. I'm just trying to think of it.

37:59 - 38:06

It isn't more than half a centimetre, but it is definitely millimetres. I could eat it with a spoon, I think, marmite.

38:07 - 38:14

I love marmite, but it's much better on toast. Does Stan Wawrinka famously has a very thick marmite toast before he plays?

38:14 - 38:18

No, no, no. That's it famously. In the clay court season, I think. Okay. This is good.

38:18 - 38:24

Tennis at one is good. We've had one tennis game already, which was Charlie Baker versus Christopher Biggins.

38:24 - 38:31

Okay, wow. Amazing. Wasn't the famous. Yeah, it was just another Steve Biggins. Is this against a friend?

38:31 - 38:35

Are you in a Hitchin tennis ladder? What are we doing? It's just against a friend at the moment.

38:36 - 38:40

It's been in the last sort of six months. It's a writer called Max who lives in Hitchin.

38:40 - 38:44

I didn't really know him before we moved to Hitchin, but Katie sort of made friends with him.

38:44 - 38:50

And obviously we mixed in the similar circles. He's a comedy writer. And he said, I want to start playing tennis again.

38:50 - 38:54

And so I used to play. I used to play a lot. Katie's no good at tennis.

38:54 - 38:58

I stopped playing when I got together with Katie. We played once and she couldn't really hit the ball.

38:58 - 39:03

We kind of gave in. But before that, I would often play. I really used to only play against women.

39:03 - 39:11

And it was usually in a date situation. So it was very weird playing against a friend.

39:11 - 39:19

But now in a relationship and I'm a heterosexual, weird playing against a man and realizing that he wasn't going to have sex with me.

39:21 - 39:26

But I've got used to that now. Right. So the thrill of the game was very different.

39:26 - 39:35

Was there an awkward first game where afterwards you were like, and so now? I think I said to him, usually I would expect at least a blowjob at this stage.

39:37 - 39:44

So let's see how we go with that. Richard, has Hitchin been touched by the paddle boom?

39:44 - 39:50

Is there the tension between the paddlers and the traditional tennis players? If so, I have not seen it.

39:50 - 39:56

Certainly not at the place we play. There's no paddle tennis, I don't think. I've seen the rackets, but I've never played it.

39:57 - 40:01

So now we're playing traditional tennis. We're both not very good. Richard, he's a bit younger than me.

40:01 - 40:06

I mean, I'm 58. I think he's in his 40s and he's quite tall and he should be absolutely.

40:07 - 40:13

He serves at 147 miles an hour. I beat him every time. And I thought it would come sooner.

40:13 - 40:19

I think it used to be sort of 6-love-6-1. And now it's 6-2-6-1.

40:19 - 40:25

God of area. So are you giving him a game out of pity? Are you still like, I'm going to max, I'm going to end you?

40:26 - 40:30

And then it's like Jack Black in a movie, hitting a double-handed backhand and going, yes.

40:30 - 40:37

I'm usually quite competitive. So even, you know, often he'll get 40-love up and then I will think, oh, I better try a bit harder and beat him.

40:37 - 40:46

And yesterday, don't tell him this. There was a point where I was heading for 6-love in the first set and it was 30-40 and he was serving.

40:47 - 40:50

And his second serve went out, but I just pretended it went in and carried on playing.

40:50 - 40:56

And he did win that game. Wow. So pity. So you're pitying a much younger man.

40:56 - 41:05

But also, I kind of want to, I'm really doing it for the exercise. What I love about tennis is it doesn't feel at all like you're exercising.

41:05 - 41:10

But then I put my little, you know, watch thing on and it says, oh, you've burnt 500 calories in the last day.

41:10 - 41:14

And you go, this is pretty good because I don't feel like I've really done all that much.

41:14 - 41:18

It doesn't feel like going for a run, which I also like to do. Is it indoor or outdoor?

41:18 - 41:30

Because yesterday was cold. Outdoor. So like this, we played a couple of times this week and the first time at one end of the court, you couldn't actually, you were actually waiting for the serve.

41:30 - 41:34

You were sliding on a little bit. There was one quarter of the court, basically, that was just still ice.

41:35 - 41:44

And we foolishly carried on playing. And Max did at one point, actually, when he was running to retrieve a ball, not even when he was running to hit a ball back, slipped over and landed on his elbow.

41:44 - 41:47

So it was stupid of us and we decided not to do it. That's why we're actually playing at lunch.

41:47 - 41:50

So we usually play at eight o'clock in the morning or nine o'clock in the morning.

41:51 - 41:56

For the thaw. We played it at lunchtime. So it would have thawed out, which it did, except there was one patch of ice, but it was off the court.

41:56 - 42:00

And is Max in like a tennis? He's got a tennis elbow. He's got a cast now.

42:00 - 42:08

All the way. You're smashing him, sick love, sick love. And thinking about how you might try and have sex with him afterwards.

42:08 - 42:14

It's a really dominant as he falls over again and again. There is a weird subtext to it all.

42:14 - 42:21

But yeah. Afterwards, are you because you've obviously you just keep beating him. And is he still eager and happy about this?

42:21 - 42:25

So what's the vibe? I mean, he's gets so angry. It's little points with himself.

42:25 - 42:36

It's very enjoyable. Does he go? Come on, Max. The other day through his tennis racket on the floor at speed, I thought might have broken it, but it was fine.

42:36 - 42:40

No, he actually takes it very. I mean, like, I think we both are doing it for the exercise.

42:40 - 42:44

But we do take, you know, we take, I'm annoyed. Like yesterday, I didn't play very well.

42:44 - 42:48

None of my first serves were going in. And I was quite frustrated with it.

42:48 - 42:52

I bought some new balls, but I hadn't spent quite as much on the new balls as I had before.

42:52 - 42:56

And I regretted it. I regretted the decision. Not enough bounce. There was something going on.

42:56 - 43:02

It just wasn't as enjoyable. A, I am really convinced he wants, he's having some lessons and he's playing a bit more.

43:02 - 43:11

And I'm convinced when he, because of his superior size and youth. Yeah. I think he will get to the point where he defeats me.

43:11 - 43:16

But I've said to him, you've got 18 months to beat me or you're going to be being beaten by a man in his 60s.

43:17 - 43:24

Which I think is, I think is a good impetus for him. It's interesting because it's sort of the result doesn't matter.

43:25 - 43:30

I think it will matter if it gets a bit closer. Is there a social side to it afterwards?

43:30 - 43:34

Do you both go to the cafe together and talk about what you've been writing?

43:34 - 43:41

Or the boudoir, of course. There very rarely is a social side to it. We have occasionally gone for a coffee, but not really.

43:41 - 43:48

No, we're not friends. We don't like each other. It's like Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe.

43:48 - 43:57

This is great. There's this poor 40-year-old, enormous 40-year-old called Max, who just gets ritually beaten by an old Richard Herring at tennis once a week.

43:58 - 44:02

And then Richard won't even have me go for a coffee. Does he say, yeah, coffee?

44:02 - 44:11

And he goes, no thanks. Straight in the car, door go, poof, oh. We've socialised outside of the tennis a little bit, but no, we haven't.

44:11 - 44:16

We've occasionally gone for coffee. It's usually we're trying to fit it in around our own work and everything.

44:16 - 44:23

Sometimes like it's a set will take 20 minutes. And I think the first set took 40 minutes, so we didn't even get through the second set.

44:23 - 44:28

Okay. So that's definitely an improvement. Well done, Max. Well done, Max. I hope he will listen.

44:29 - 44:37

Someone will tell him about this. We're not friends. We're not friends. He's hopefully got a good sense of humour.

44:37 - 44:39

I know, so I'm joking. Well, you don't know. You've never spoken to the guy.

44:40 - 44:45

You've no idea. I've never had a conversation with him. Beyond, where's my blowjob? Oh, sorry.

44:46 - 44:54

I thought that was part of the game. What next? Where do we go? School pickup?

44:54 - 45:04

So I came back home and I had some Greek yoghurt with some fruits in it and some seeds in it because I thought I better have something to eat because I only had toast.

45:05 - 45:12

I was worried about getting the car out of the drive because the guys on the road insisted we park on our driveway because they had stuff to do on the road.

45:12 - 45:18

And then there was a massive lorry right outside our driveway moving rubble out of a hole.

45:18 - 45:21

I thought I did say I had to get out at three. I hope they're going to honour that.

45:21 - 45:24

But that's I was sort of worrying about that. I decided to do a little bit of admin.

45:24 - 45:29

And the thing on my list was to we started having real fires in the house.

45:29 - 45:36

I had to there's a little tiny woodshed in the driveway, but I've been keeping like some of my merchandise in there.

45:36 - 45:41

So I decided to I got the merchandise out of there and put that in here.

45:41 - 45:48

I sort of moved some coal and logs around a little bit. And then I had to go and pick the kids up.

45:48 - 45:53

So I got back, I suppose, about quarter past one. I listened to audio books.

45:53 - 46:00

I was listening to because I do a book version of my podcast. I was listening to Danny Robbins book, which is sort of about ghosts.

46:00 - 46:05

It's for kids. Very entertaining. So, yeah, so that's my prep for a podcast for next week.

46:05 - 46:09

And then, yeah, it's time to pick up the kids. I had to put baked potatoes in for dinner.

46:10 - 46:17

There was a bit of controversy over that because I was I was meant to be leaving about just after three to pick the kids up.

46:17 - 46:24

But Katie wanted us to eat at five. So the potatoes really need to go in at half three when I'd be picking the kids up.

46:24 - 46:33

You know, I thought, how are we going to time it? Luckily, Katie got fed up of working where she was working and came home and saved the day and was able to put the potatoes in at the correct time.

46:33 - 46:38

Good. What a relief. But I had them on. So I prepped the potatoes with some oil.

46:38 - 46:43

How big are these? Are these proper big potatoes? They were pretty big potatoes. That's why I thought these probably need 90 minutes.

46:44 - 46:48

So they were 90 minute potatoes. I think in the end, I think about 75 minutes they were in for.

46:49 - 46:53

How are you going to trick them up, though? I mean, I don't want just a baked potato.

46:53 - 46:59

Well, you weren't there, David. We'd be a real turn up for the books if you had been.

47:01 - 47:07

So I wanted to put walnut oil on them because I think you're not meant to put olive oil in very hot things.

47:07 - 47:11

I think it's bad for you. But we didn't have any walnut oil, so I put some olive oil on them.

47:11 - 47:14

So I put some oil and salt on them. I think we all just had cheese in the end.

47:14 - 47:20

I think we all just had cheese. I had cheese and some... Occasionally you have one of those meals that is a real kind of throwback to childhood.

47:21 - 47:27

And I think a baked jack potato with cheese and Bramston pickle on it is something I hardly ever do anymore.

47:27 - 47:32

But that's what I did. We had a corn on the cob and it was fantastic.

47:33 - 47:39

The skin was really crispy and I wanted to eat everyone's skin, but I only got a little bit off my wife.

47:40 - 47:44

But obviously in between that, so we have to get through pick up and all that.

47:44 - 47:48

The potatoes were cooking. I went for pick up. It's difficult to pick up, especially this week.

47:48 - 47:55

There are no after-school clubs this week. So everyone's picking up the kids at the same time and there isn't enough parking facilities at the school.

47:55 - 48:02

Come on, Hitchin. I missed the junior school car park, but I managed to get into the main car park and found one space that I could get into.

48:02 - 48:10

I don't really like reversing the car, if I can help it. Right. I have to go in front ways, which I find quite tricky.

48:10 - 48:16

Then you're stuck there forever, right? Because you can't get out. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So there was a slight bit of it on that.

48:16 - 48:21

Then I went to pick up the kids. It's Ernie had made a broomstick in his class.

48:21 - 48:27

Ernie came out first and there's a little bit of a playground field outside where you pick them up from.

48:27 - 48:31

And he ran off with his broomstick. And then I had to wait for Phoebe to come out of her class.

48:31 - 48:36

They're obviously in different classrooms. And she came out and looked around. I could not see Ernie at all.

48:36 - 48:40

And I thought, as he ran out the gate, as where's he gone? I was looking all over him for him.

48:40 - 48:44

Could have flown away, aren't I? He could have flown away. I didn't even think of that.

48:44 - 48:51

And that is the most obvious explanation. For a moment, I was like a little bit worried because there was a lot of cars around.

48:51 - 48:56

And I thought, but I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to leave the actual area.

48:56 - 49:01

He was standing by a tree, said, can I climb this tree and use this?

49:01 - 49:04

I think he'd seen a bit of a wire and said, come down that as a zip line.

49:04 - 49:09

And I said, no, you obviously can't do that. That's not possible. He was at the tree and I turned around and he disappeared.

49:09 - 49:13

And I thought, oh my God, what's he done? And as it turned out, he was hiding.

49:13 - 49:19

There was a little fence where you get in some bushes and then you can talk through the fence to people who are passing by.

49:19 - 49:24

So he'd been sort of joking around with his mates through the fence. So we managed to find.

49:24 - 49:35

That's good. What's up with the broom? Is it a sort of weird English wicker man type tradition where on the 7th of January every year you make a broom to keep the house clean?

49:35 - 49:45

We always had double broomstick on Earth. I don't know. It's the second time and it's a different school, but it is the second time he's made a broomstick.

49:45 - 49:51

So maybe, maybe the education systems knows there's something coming where we're going to have to go back.

49:52 - 49:57

We have to go back to traditional, like proper, like, you know, the twigs coming out of the main stick.

49:57 - 50:03

It's one of those with a tighter end. Reform want to put it on top of the English educational curriculum.

50:03 - 50:15

You know, you can see Rishi Sunak saying math really matters. I'm waiting for whoever the education secretary to say what we really need to make, if we really want to be a country for the 21st century, broomsticks is it.

50:16 - 50:21

Managed to get, find Ernie, get him in the car. Are they friends again? Yeah, they're all forgotten and they were okay.

50:21 - 50:25

And they were, and Phoebe was sweetness and light as we came out. So that was all good.

50:25 - 50:28

I think they'd had a good time. She's got a part in the school musical.

50:28 - 50:37

So she'd said she'd been, they're doing Aladdin. Aladdin and she's playing one of Aladdin's friends, but we've been practicing the lines, but we didn't know how the songs went, but she was so all the way home.

50:38 - 50:51

She sang one of the songs from Aladdin, which was nice. Is it the situation where in Edinburgh a few times, I have seen versions of famous stories where they haven't got the rights from Disney to use any of the famous songs.

50:51 - 51:00

There are songs that are similar to the famous, as in, instead of be my guest, it's like, you're very welcome to the feast.

51:00 - 51:06

It feels like a mixture because there's definitely one in there that does sound like, maybe it's the sound of like, maybe it is.

51:06 - 51:10

There's definitely some that were on the, you could get on Spotify or whatever. Okay.

51:10 - 51:15

But some of them weren't on Spotify. So I don't know, but that sounds like they are the real ones.

51:15 - 51:21

My fear with Aladdin would be that the actual original version of Aladdin is about something completely different.

51:22 - 51:28

Generally, all fairy tales are just about never leave your village, never have any ambition whatsoever.

51:29 - 51:35

Marry into your class and shut up. That's the actual Brothers Grimm version of fairy tales.

51:36 - 51:41

That's true. Yeah. I think from what I've seen, having gone through the lines, I've only gone through Phoebe's lines with her.

51:41 - 51:47

I haven't read the whole thing. I would say it's fairly standardly like the film, but shorter.

51:47 - 51:50

Got it. I mean, I can show you the world. That's a good one, isn't it?

51:50 - 51:56

I can show you the world. Is that Aladdin? No, that's Aladdin. No, they've definitely got the famous one where they're at the carpet ride.

51:56 - 52:02

Yeah. A whole new world. A whole new world. That's definitely it. Don't you dare close your eyes.

52:02 - 52:13

Yeah, exactly. Put your fist. You'll be standing there going, yes, this is it. How are they going to get Aladdin out of the lamp in a school play situation?

52:13 - 52:20

Yeah, the genie. I don't know. I mean, the genie's there. I don't know if whoever's got the part has to be as good as Robin Williams, right?

52:20 - 52:26

They have to improvise. Yeah. They have to, you know, rip off a lot of other people's stuff and improvise.

52:26 - 52:33

The question is, are they going to go with a tiny genie on a normal size lamp or a huge lamp?

52:33 - 52:40

You know, where Aladdin's like, I've got this, you know, 10 foot lamp that I got in a bazaar or I can't remember the plot.

52:40 - 52:43

But we probably won't see the genie in the lamp, I guess.

52:43 - 52:53

So I think they'll have, my guess, David, I don't know how they're going to stage it, is that they'll have a lamp and then there'll be a puff of smoke and then the genie will come up from the wings.

52:54 - 52:57

I think the hope is the parents don't leave going, God, the special effects were shit.

52:58 - 53:03

They didn't even have a real genie. That was just a child. One star in the Guardian.

53:04 - 53:14

Because of health and safety and you can't use pyros anymore, they have to get six children all vaping to create a smoke screen that the genie that appears.

53:14 - 53:17

Yeah, good be, good be. What do we do when we get home? We're home and there's potatoes.

53:18 - 53:22

You can smell the potatoes, right? Yeah, I mean, we had the potatoes pretty much straight away.

53:22 - 53:26

So Ernie was hungry. Yeah, of course. And then we said, well, literally the potatoes are like half an hour away.

53:27 - 53:31

And I think he still had a biscuit or something. He managed to get something.

53:31 - 53:34

I was just sort of sitting with the kids while they watched a bit of telly.

53:34 - 53:41

And then we more or less straight away had the potatoes. And the electrician came around as we were just about to serve dinner.

53:41 - 53:46

There was a few things that needed doing. And we got a few extra lights put in the kitchen just to make it work.

53:46 - 53:54

So the timing, the dinner was probably 5.15 or something like that. We were eating dinner by and he arrived at about 10 past five.

53:54 - 54:03

So we had a kind of crossover, which meant we went and ate our dinner in the posh lounge where we're not really meant to eat food.

54:03 - 54:07

That was it. We originally made this decision that we'd have a play lounge and a posh lounge.

54:08 - 54:14

Nobody was allowed to eat in the posh lounge. What we discovered was no one was going in the posh lounge.

54:15 - 54:20

How do the play lounge and posh lounge, how different do they look? Well, very different.

54:20 - 54:26

Right, okay. I mean, one is just full of toys and there's a keyboard in there and there's just shells of games.

54:26 - 54:35

There's a couple of desks so they can work in there and a computer. And then the posh lounge is kind of nice sofas we bought, especially that we almost couldn't get in the door.

54:35 - 54:41

But we just managed to get them in. We had one too many. I said as we bought them, I don't think we'll fit these in the room.

54:41 - 54:46

And I was correct. So one of the sofas is in the playroom. There's a nice spinny chair that kids like to spin around on.

54:46 - 54:51

There's a fireplace, which is why we went in, because we've been reorganizing and started lighting the fires.

54:51 - 54:55

Katie had lit a fire. So we thought we've got to go in there because it'd be nice and warm.

54:55 - 55:01

And so we sat and we're watching. And this is probably like a slightly bold move, but we watched...

55:01 - 55:07

Reservoir Dogs. Eddie Murphy, roll. We watched the Humbler Brooklyn Nine-Nine with the kids over the last few weeks.

55:07 - 55:10

Yeah, that's fine. Which is okay, but it's actually a bit more adult than you think it is.

55:10 - 55:19

And then we decided to watch Community all the way through with them, which I think might be a little bit too adult in places for them.

55:19 - 55:24

But actually, it's quite... They're enjoying it and it is quite a... Have you seen Community?

55:24 - 55:30

Yeah. I haven't seen it. It's in the press a lot recently because of how much everyone hated Chevy Chase while they were making it.

55:30 - 55:39

That did come up. And it actually was the episode... We watched the episode where it's near the end of the first season where he actually gets ostracized from the group.

55:39 - 55:45

And so does... What's wrong with Chevy Chase? I mean, he's sort of famously, let's say, difficult to work with.

55:45 - 55:52

But... Got it. Watched the documentary, which I think is quite kind to him. You still end up going, it's weird now.

55:52 - 56:01

No one wants to be interviewed to pay. Unless with the 50th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, he wasn't invited to be in any of the sketches.

56:01 - 56:05

Yeah. I mean, he did go and he's standing at the stage and he's very hurt that he wasn't invited.

56:05 - 56:10

But he also left Saturday Night Live the minute he got famous, just abandoned them.

56:10 - 56:15

He wouldn't sign a contract and just abandoned them. Clearly, people didn't like working with him.

56:15 - 56:19

So, like, there's no... It's all about him being hurt. But you kind of go, well, you know, there's a reason.

56:19 - 56:22

Why don't we ask someone what the reason is? Oh, because they won't talk about it.

56:22 - 56:28

Richard, in the biz, do people say this about me? There has been some stories about...

56:28 - 56:34

You're a bit handsy with... Yeah, there is. Older men, though. That's the thing. It's sort of very confusing.

56:34 - 56:41

Back to your yesterday. Back to your yesterday. I had a pic of all the comedians and I insisted on a handsy one.

56:41 - 56:48

I said, I'm only... As long as I'm in Australia and he's in the UK, I'm prepared to move to Australia to make this podcast.

56:48 - 56:54

But occasionally, like Mr. Tickle, his hand comes through the shed door. And I'm like, David, no.

56:54 - 57:07

Okay, so we watch Community. We have the discussion about Chevy Chase. And then... I have one tiny issue there, which is, is it possible to eat a baked potato while an electrician is zhuzhing away in the other room?

57:08 - 57:13

Or do you feel the need to go in and just sort of pretend to be folding tea towels?

57:13 - 57:18

I was okay. I made him a coffee, even though I thought it was late for a coffee, but he wanted a coffee.

57:19 - 57:25

And I said to him, we're just there if you need it. He's sort of a guy who's done a few jobs to us over the years and I do like him.

57:25 - 57:28

Okay. You know, I feel like we're friends. So I don't feel like I have to go.

57:29 - 57:34

I have to sit with you while we do this. He was very understanding. And he was literally just putting in a few lights that needed putting in.

57:34 - 57:41

He'd done all the groundwork. And I thought you could ask whether you can eat a jackpotato with Branson pickle on it in the posh lands on your white sofa.

57:41 - 57:45

It was a risk. It was a risk. But we did it and we got away with it.

57:45 - 57:53

I even transferred some across the Katie's potato. Oh, amazing. Yeah. Interesting that you're friends with the electrician, but not with your tennis partner.

57:53 - 57:59

These social constructs that you make. I'm very much a man of the people. So, you know, it's...

57:59 - 58:02

No, I understand that. I understand that. And do you go a little bit workman?

58:02 - 58:05

Do you like mix it with the electrician? Do you think you know what you're talking about?

58:06 - 58:11

No, it's actually that I'm very happy to admit my incompetence in all of these things.

58:11 - 58:16

I'm not ashamed to... I mean, I definitely couldn't do electricians. I'm not going to even go there.

58:17 - 58:23

And my DIY skills are absolutely minimal. We have a guy who will occasionally come around and do, you know, odd jobs for us.

58:23 - 58:28

Sort of embarrassing ones. I have ones doing... Like jobs, I just go, this is so emasculating.

58:28 - 58:32

I can't do anything. Yeah. Katie wants like a tiny shelf put up in her office.

58:32 - 58:41

We're debating whether it's worth getting the guy around just to do that. Or if we have to wait until we've got a few things he can do, go, oh yeah, there's also...

58:41 - 58:46

I mean, obviously we could do this on our own anytime. But would you mind?

58:46 - 58:52

This is the whole reason you're here to put up this tiny shelf. You actually, you plan an extension so you can get this shelf.

58:52 - 58:57

You don't need the extension at all. Absolutely. Almost absolutely. But yeah, so no, that was good.

58:57 - 59:01

Invoiced me within the hour and I paid him the minute the text came through.

59:01 - 59:07

I'm very... Well done. I feel that's very important. So I did that. And we had to get Ernie in the bath and put Ernie to bed.

59:07 - 59:12

Once we got him to bed, I thought he was asleep. We carried on watching Community with Phoebe.

59:13 - 59:18

And then he came downstairs knowing we were watching Community and watched some Community. He said, why are you watching it without me?

59:19 - 59:25

And so he stayed up a bit later than he should have done. We were waiting for traitors because it was the reveal of the secret traitor on traitors.

59:26 - 59:33

Sorry, Richard. Did he come down with some spurious health reason that he had a numb foot or a sore tummy or something?

59:34 - 59:40

He didn't. It was hilarious because he made... His room's right above the lounge. So he made a lot of noise coming out.

59:40 - 59:44

And I thought I had come downstairs. Then nothing happened. I thought, oh, maybe it was the dog.

59:44 - 59:48

So I'm out making that noise. And then he just saw that in the door and said, oh, why are you watching Community?

59:48 - 59:51

Can I watch it? And then he sort of came and lay on me and cuddled me.

59:52 - 59:54

And we kind of went, oh, OK. And then he wanted to cuddle his mum.

59:54 - 59:57

So he cuddled his mum. So he got away with it. He got through it with cuddles rather than lies.

59:58 - 1:00:04

You know, he falls asleep so quick. Part of the reason he wakes up so early is probably that he does go to sleep straight away and spark out.

1:00:04 - 1:00:09

But I think he knew something was going on. But we got him to bed again before traitors.

1:00:09 - 1:00:16

So Phoebe likes traitors. And it's on at 8 o'clock now, traitors. So it's actually... We can just about say we'll watch that live with Phoebe before her bedtime.

1:00:17 - 1:00:22

So we watched traitors, which we've only got into since Celebrity Traitors. But I'm enjoying.

1:00:22 - 1:00:30

Will traitors go... Do you remember the early series of Big Brother? Yeah. Where people forgot they were on TV and were acting normally.

1:00:30 - 1:00:37

But then the different personas you could adopt on Big Brother became sort of publicly known.

1:00:38 - 1:00:42

Is that going to happen with traitors whereby... I think it maybe is happening a little bit with traitors.

1:00:42 - 1:00:49

The annoying thing is people are... You know, it's the same thing that people put on a false reason for why they're voting for someone, I guess.

1:00:49 - 1:00:57

You know, like really, if anyone suggests someone or... You know, in the early stages, there's no real way of properly knowing unless someone absolutely slips up.

1:00:58 - 1:01:01

Which they have been quite bad, the traitors in this one. They have made some silly mistakes.

1:01:01 - 1:01:05

But like someone will suggest someone and then everyone will go, oh yeah, I thought it might be them as well.

1:01:05 - 1:01:09

Because they're thinking, how do I stay in? Because you don't want to get knocked out early.

1:01:09 - 1:01:18

So it's an understandable tactic. So the minute anyone's suggested, people will go with the herd and think, to protect myself, I will say it's that person as well, regardless of what I actually think.

1:01:18 - 1:01:26

So there's a little bit of that and there's a little bit... It feels a little bit of parentheses with some of the contestants in that they're, you know...

1:01:26 - 1:01:30

Saying, I'm the best salesman in Europe. It's sort of that thing that a little bit more like...

1:01:30 - 1:01:33

I didn't really watch any of the ones before, so I don't know what the other ones were like.

1:01:33 - 1:01:40

But a couple of the guys feel a bit like, I'm the best one at pretending to be something or finding out how to pretend to...

1:01:40 - 1:01:49

It has a little element of that. But it's a fascinating show and it's amazing how it does hook you in and how invested you get in it.

1:01:49 - 1:01:55

And the tasks which are sort of important and are okay, you can sort of not bother watching that bit.

1:01:55 - 1:02:03

But all the roundtables and all the actual murder bits are really fascinating. And the people making that show really know what they're doing.

1:02:03 - 1:02:11

It's really good. I played Cluedo at Christmas. Oh yeah. And definitely tried to bring some of that showbiz-y pizzazz to it.

1:02:12 - 1:02:18

Where I'd be like, what? You know, things like pretend that I had no idea who had killed Mr. Black.

1:02:18 - 1:02:23

And I had in fact worked it out quite early on. Thank you. Well, that's good.

1:02:24 - 1:02:31

So 9pm that finishes. And then is it babies to bed? Well, Katie was really tired and she actually wanted to go to bed though.

1:02:31 - 1:02:34

I think she sat in bed and did. She's working on a project at the moment.

1:02:34 - 1:02:36

So she's got to hang the work quite hard. So she did a bit of extra work.

1:02:37 - 1:02:45

Phoebe was meant to go straight to bed, but we watched Ed Gamble, who I'm reluctant to say is doing a very good job on the companion program.

1:02:45 - 1:02:49

Oh yeah. It makes me angry to say it. You should be doing it, Richard.

1:02:50 - 1:02:56

Is that it? No, I would like him to fail. At something. In everything. I don't care about my own career as long as Ed Gamble.

1:02:56 - 1:03:01

When I was up against him on Champion of Champions Taskmaster, all I cared about was that I came ahead of him.

1:03:01 - 1:03:05

As it turned out, I won and he came last. So it was absolutely ideal.

1:03:06 - 1:03:11

All I wanted to do is to not be good at stuff. I'd like him to be on things and just do a bad job, but he's very good at this.

1:03:11 - 1:03:17

Isn't it the case that it was filmed ages ago so he knows everything that happened in it?

1:03:17 - 1:03:23

So if we were to torture him, we could get all the details. We could avoid having to watch the program.

1:03:23 - 1:03:30

If we kidnap and torture Ed Gamble, we could save ourselves all the time of watching the program to send the answers.

1:03:30 - 1:03:36

I would only want to mildly waterboard Ed Gamble. I think I wouldn't want to go any further than that.

1:03:36 - 1:03:41

I don't want to play tennis with him. Let's just say that. No. I'm not interested in that at all.

1:03:41 - 1:03:47

So we actually ended up watching that 30 minutes of that and then I put Phoebe to bed.

1:03:47 - 1:03:53

And I went to bed. I'm trying to now get to bed by 10 o'clock if I can.

1:03:53 - 1:03:59

Wow. I think I'm doing quite a lot of exercise and we get up so early that I am genuine.

1:03:59 - 1:04:08

If I don't go to bed by 11, I'm absolutely screwed. And if I can get to bed at eight, sometimes get to bed at eight or nine and you can have like 10 hours sleep.

1:04:09 - 1:04:12

If I'm not working, I'm in bed as soon as the kids are in bed.

1:04:13 - 1:04:17

It's definitely getting to that. So because also the kids are staying up late. I used to do podcasts in the evening and stuff.

1:04:18 - 1:04:23

But you know, Phoebe was in bed at 9.30 and like it's, you know, it would be impossible to really do anything.

1:04:23 - 1:04:34

And so I kind of, Katie went to bed first and I actually, I went and slept in on the guest bedroom just to give her, because she was so tired just to give her an uninterrupted night's sleep without me snoring next to her.

1:04:35 - 1:04:41

Max, have you noticed throughout this, Richard just keeps introducing new rooms to this? I know.

1:04:41 - 1:04:47

Yeah, that's good. The woodshed I thought was a big pivot, but then the posh lounge with the white sofa.

1:04:48 - 1:04:52

The third music room. I'm not even in the house now. I'm in the annex.

1:04:53 - 1:05:04

Yeah. I've got a whole annex that's my podcast studio. Beside the R injury. And what time do those eyelids shut for the final time?

1:05:04 - 1:05:07

Well, last night, I mean, I can probably tell it because I do a sleep app now.

1:05:07 - 1:05:11

So I can tell you about everything when I was till the end of the day.

1:05:11 - 1:05:17

My sleep score yesterday was 86, which isn't bad. I woke up. Very well done. I still have this, you know, having to get up to do a wee.

1:05:18 - 1:05:26

I had cancer a few years ago. My oncologist told me I should be drinking two and a half litres of water a day, which I have been trying to do.

1:05:26 - 1:05:32

And it did mean for a while that I just, if you did any of it late, but even if you didn't, I was just up five times in the night.

1:05:32 - 1:05:36

But it's gone to like one or two times for weeing. But I got up.

1:05:36 - 1:05:42

I woke up seven times last night. Whoa. In the night, at least just for a little while.

1:05:42 - 1:05:50

I went to sleep at about half past 10. I was in deep sleep at about 11 for a bit.

1:05:50 - 1:05:54

Then I was in core sleep, deep sleep for a little bit. The deep sleep, not very much last night.

1:05:54 - 1:05:59

I'm having phenomenal dreams. I have to say, I can't remember too much about what they were last night.

1:06:00 - 1:06:03

Can I think of any of them? That's a different podcast. Once you're asleep. Yeah.

1:06:03 - 1:06:06

Once you're asleep. Once you're asleep, you don't care. Yeah. I had pretty good sleep.

1:06:06 - 1:06:12

I slept for, I was awake for 23 minutes in the night. Inputting when you're awake means you're awake in the app.

1:06:13 - 1:06:16

That's the problem with the app, isn't it? No, the app knows. The app knows.

1:06:16 - 1:06:22

The app knows when you're awake. It knows when you're, it's like Father Christmas. It knows when you're in deep sleep or core sleep.

1:06:22 - 1:06:29

So be in deep sleep for goodness sake. You're mainly in core sleep. I did four hours, 44 minutes of core sleep.

1:06:29 - 1:06:37

One hour, 36 of REM. That's when I was dreaming. Only 27 minutes of deep sleep. To compare that, my heart rate was 54 to 78 beats per minute.

1:06:37 - 1:06:46

Quite a fluctuation. My wrist temperature was plus 0.49 degrees centigrade from baseline. I've never looked at that statistic before.

1:06:46 - 1:06:54

Any boner stats? I mean, I don't think there'll be many of those. You have to pay for that.

1:06:54 - 1:06:59

It's 4.99 a month. I would like to, it would be good to know that, but I'm, you know, I'm 58.

1:07:00 - 1:07:05

If I can get a boner when I'm awake, I'm fairly happy. I'm satisfied with that.

1:07:05 - 1:07:08

Richard. If we end it there? If I can get it? Yeah, we ended it there.

1:07:08 - 1:07:23

Thank you very much for telling us what you did yesterday. So there was Richard Herrings yesterday.

1:07:24 - 1:07:29

Some good stuff in there. Obviously the roadworks. The tennis was fun, wasn't it? Poor Max.

1:07:29 - 1:07:34

Max doesn't, because he's got no right of reply. We're not unlikely to get Max on the podcast.

1:07:34 - 1:07:40

Never. And, you know, there's a guy just routinely getting absolutely obliterated by Richard Herring at tennis.

1:07:41 - 1:07:51

To lose every single time, like 6-1, 6-1, 6-2, and then for it to be cold, and then for it to be icy as well.

1:07:51 - 1:07:55

This is a side of tennis that we don't, we think of it as the summer game.

1:07:56 - 1:08:05

Yeah. But I guess this is where you put in the reps. Perhaps that means that Richard Herring is one of the favorites for the Grand Slams this year.

1:08:05 - 1:08:11

Well, he won the Stella Artois at Queens, didn't he? Twice. But he's never made it past the quarterfinals.

1:08:11 - 1:08:16

When he lost to Manavai Washington at Wimbledon, that was his chance. But he let it slip.

1:08:17 - 1:08:20

But obviously he did, you know, he had a great doubles pairing with Leander Pays.

1:08:20 - 1:08:36

So Max shouldn't feel bad. This guy that we don't know, who's getting beaten once a week by someone 20 years older than him, and then breaking his elbow on an icy, hitching, hard court, shouldn't feel too bad.

1:08:37 - 1:08:50

It's just when Princess Anne presents. So on hearing this podcast, that's the motivation he needs to go to the Boletari Academy in Florida and really enter the elite level of tennis.

1:08:50 - 1:09:02

And he wins Wimbledon. But there is a moment where he raises the trophy and just his elbow clicks slightly because of that time he slipped on the ice playing with Richard Herring.

1:09:03 - 1:09:13

If you would like to get in touch with the podcast, here is how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.

1:09:13 - 1:09:20

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

1:09:20 - 1:09:29

And if you didn't, please don't. Hey, thanks, David. I had a good time. I had a great time, Max.

1:09:29 - 1:09:35

Let's do it again sometime. Thanks to Richard Herring as well for taking some time out of his today to do it.

1:09:35 - 1:09:40

And look, for the tape, you did book this one. I actually did. Yeah, for once.

1:09:40 - 1:09:45

But I don't know. I'm interested to see who your next guest will be. Hugh Grant?

1:09:45 - 1:09:50

I'll give you a try. Give you a try. I'll say, we had Richard Herring.

1:09:51 - 1:09:56

Can you come on, Hugh? And then he'll be like, yeah, of course I can, because I reckon he's good at tennis.

1:09:56 - 1:10:03

Yeah. Because you definitely don't have his number in email. You have an old friend who may have a number for him.

1:10:03 - 1:10:08

You might as well just stand up on the roof of this shed and scream Hugh Grant's name a few times.

1:10:09 - 1:10:19

And then text me back. He didn't respond. Well, the issue is Gabby messaged her ex to say, could Hugh Grant go on this podcast?

1:10:19 - 1:10:25

And her ex didn't reply to Gabby. So I've asked Gabby once more, could you come on?

1:10:25 - 1:10:30

And she said, I can't really. You know, I can't. How many times do I say, does Hugh Grant want to do this podcast?

1:10:32 - 1:10:35

We'll get him. One day we'll get him. We're in it for life. Coming soon.

1:10:36 - 1:10:46

The Hugh Grant podcast. When we get him, though, imagine. Do you know what I'm looking forward to in the Hugh Grant episode is Miles Bargay going, yes, Hugh, if you just go to call settings, could you record?

1:10:46 - 1:11:03

Do you have quick time on that? Thanks, Max. Thank you, David. Hello, Yesterday fans.

1:11:04 - 1:11:21

It's me, David O'Doherty, the 1990 East Leinster under-14s triple jump bronze medalist. With a little bit of news that Max and I are doing a live show, this time in my home, Dublin City,

1:11:22 - 1:11:34

where the ejector seat was invented. Also, I think the hypodermic needle. And someone told me the birthday candles you blow out and they come back on.

1:11:34 - 1:11:38

It was to do with, I think a lot of explosive type stuff was invented there, and that was a byproduct.

1:11:38 - 1:11:49

Anyway, we're doing a live show on the 3rd of March in Dublin's beautiful Vicar Street.

1:11:50 - 1:11:59

Tickets are on sale now. It's kind of wild. We're doing Dublin on the 3rd of March and Melbourne on the 3rd of April.

1:11:59 - 1:12:07

And if anyone apart from us goes to both of those gigs, you get a special prize.

1:12:08 - 1:12:12

This is my announcement. Now, please enjoy the rest of the podcast.

WDWDY #74: Hoovered Under The Duvet

S4 EP22: Briony May Williams

WDWDY #73: I'm Eating Bullets

S4 EP21: Ben Elton

WDWDY #72: The Montenegro Tease

S4 EP20: Shane Daniel Byrne

WDWDY #71: I could go on You Bet!

S4 EP19: Amy Annette

WDWDY #70: In The Air Tonight

S4 EP18: Paul Williams

WDWDY #69: Caught with a Kumquat

S4 EP17: Waleed Aly

WDWDY #68: I am Poo Poo

S4 EP16: Lloyd Langford

WDWDY #67: I HATE NATURE

S4 EP15: Isy Suttie

WDWDY #66: Busted knees and ruptured spleens

S4 EP14: Mel Giedroyc

WDWDY #65: Max & David's Woke Daydream

S4 EP13: Chris Addison

WDWDY #64: It's 6am in Texas

S4 EP12: Bilal Zafar

WDWDY #63: Faulty Bike Seats

S4 EP11: Tom Cashman

WDWDY #62: Dublin Show Post Mortem

S4 EP10: Phil Ellis

WDWDY #61: Exceptional Perineum

S4 EP9: Marjolein Robertson

WDWDY #60: Yesterday waits for no man

S4 EP8: Fern Brady

WDWDY #59: Fun Facts and Days Before

S4 EP7: Michelle Wolf

WDWDY #58: Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y.

S4 EP6: Susie McCabe

WDWDY #57: Sandwich and soup combo

WDWDY #56: All my troubles seemed so far away...

S4 EP4: Vittorio Angelone

WDWDY #55: A Soapy Explosion

S4 EP3: Christopher Macarthur-Boyd

WDWDY #54: A Yesterday Like Any Other

S4 EP2: John Kearns

WDWDY #53: Do yesterdays dream of electric cheese?

S4 EP1: Bret McKenzie

WDWDY #52: Duelling Cheeseboards

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 3)

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 2 )

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 1 )

S3 EP27: Rob Auton

WDWDY #51: In Fairness To Lube

No results found

Search Error

Everything Is Showbiz

How to Search:

Popular Search Ideas:

Everything Is Showbiz

S4 EP5: Richard Herring

S4 EP5: Richard Herring