0:06 - 0:36
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time.
0:36 - 1:08
What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem from the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday? I'm Max Rushden. And alongside me today is the Irish comedian, Irish
1:08 - 1:29
funny man, David O'Doherty. Welcome, David. Irish funny man. The funny man yesterday. I'm going to be discussing my yesterday in more detail. Yeah, you are. The end of this broadcast. But as I was crossing Dublin's Clanbrassil Street, a man on a bike shouted at me, what happened to you yesterday?
1:30 - 1:46
Are you doing a secret podcast? That's a bit similar? But it does also imply, again, if you didn't know that this was a podcast, it does imply something either happened to me yesterday, or I did something awful yesterday.
1:46 - 1:51
Yeah, that seems more victim of crime. It's a passive, isn't it? Something has been done to you.
1:51 - 2:04
Yeah, I realize I am aging very well, you'd have to say. Incredibly well. As we've established, as Alan Davies said, you look like a man who has not looked at himself in the mirror for 30 years.
2:05 - 2:16
Although I did get a weird, I think it was a compliment. I've been looking at some old clips of my stand up comedy, and putting up old funny songs occasionally.
2:16 - 2:20
Yeah, yeah, I saw one the other day. I thought, wow, that's David, but a long time ago.
2:20 - 2:24
Oh, my goodness. Someone said I look like Pam Ayers in them.
2:25 - 2:45
Who I didn't know that was, and then I looked it up. And the look you'd have to say that I used to have is, do you know, Wallace's girlfriend from The Wrong Trousers is Wendorlyn, who's just a woman with plasticine hair. And that seems to be my look.
2:45 - 2:47
I think you could have been in The Seekers or The Mamas and The Puppets.
2:48 - 2:57
Yeah. If you'd like a tank and some flares, and you were like, wow, this is, I'm doing this podcast with one of The Mamas and The Puppets. I'm excited to do it.
2:57 - 3:05
How has our podcast been going down? Is there any correspondence? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, a lot of excitement for the John Kearns episode.
3:05 - 3:15
Yeah. You can't freeze bees. This was a popular bit. Roy says, I'm in a cafe laughing like an absolute idiot. Thank you for another brilliant episode. Bees and dogs.
3:15 - 3:35
Rachel says, I'm wondering how to get bees in a dog for five quid. So showbiz, in it for life. And this is from Jude Hackett, who says, lads, in relation to DOD's incredulous response to John Kearns claims that bees can be frozen and then delivered, which I think was a completely justified incredulousness on your part, David.
3:35 - 3:43
I'd like to share this with you, says Jude. Yeah. Some years ago, I was a volunteer parent helper on a school trip to the local farm.
3:43 - 3:57
The farmer asked us to gather around a small box on the ground. He explained that it contained live bees, which he'd had delivered to pollinate his strawberries, as it was too early in the year for bees, but he wanted to increase the duration of his strawberry season.
3:57 - 4:03
He said the box needed to be left alone for a few days to settle because bees get disorientated in the post.
4:03 - 4:11
Of course they do. Thus giving plenty of time for them to rub each of their composite eyes, as Max suggested.
4:11 - 4:23
Wow. The farmer didn't mention anything about freezing them, but it is nevertheless true that John Kearns could have sent his costume lady colleague bees for her street constranter, although probably not within budget, nor what she had in mind.
4:23 - 4:29
Everything is showbiz, Jude Hackett. Thank you, Jude Hackett. Surely bees can't be frozen. Well, I haven't checked.
4:30 - 4:34
Yeah. Once the podcast is done, I like to leave it in the ether. I'm not going to go and investigate.
4:35 - 4:38
It's up to the listeners to get in touch with us. If they can be, right?
4:38 - 4:46
We have. I mean, obviously our audience is now huge, given the number of people that have just asked the person nearest them to...
4:46 - 4:50
Hang on, that was in the intro for the Vittorio Angeloni episode, which may not be out yet.
4:50 - 4:56
But anyway, the audience is huge, is what I'm trying to say. There will be a bee freezer amongst us.
4:56 - 5:04
And it is a requirement for them to get in touch because the rest of us, nobody uses Google amongst our audience.
5:04 - 5:08
We just await information from listeners to find out how the world works. Old fashioned.
5:08 - 5:14
The old fashioned way, listening to emails into a podcast, the old fashioned way of learning things.
5:14 - 5:27
Yeah. Like you don't hear about Arctic bees. I will say that about them. You know, when Trump comes up with the various reasons why he wants Greenland, one of them isn't all that beautiful honey.
5:27 - 5:35
I want that honey from those bees that are frozen for a large portion of the year, but then make honey in the sweet Greenland.
5:35 - 5:43
So does that mean you can freeze bees or you can't freeze bees? Does that mean, because what you're saying is it's so cold in Greenland that they're just frozen the whole year round.
5:43 - 5:49
No. And so they are. I'm saying they hibernate. Right. And then they thaw. And then they thaw out.
5:50 - 5:55
We've made mistakes about hibernating before because I'm still convinced that a squirrel hibernates. And I.
5:55 - 6:06
Yeah. The quintessential winter gathering nuts animal, in fact, hibernates. Yeah. The bee. The bee doesn't hibernate, does it?
6:06 - 6:13
Well, you don't see many of them. Hang on. Maybe the bee does hibernate. There's no Christmas carols about the Christmas bee.
6:15 - 6:24
Like it's not a thing. So do they all just die? You know, the way the mayflower only lives for 15 minutes or something.
6:24 - 6:28
What's the life cycle of a bee? Now, there is a way to find all this out.
6:28 - 6:32
There's got to be one bee that really digs in through the winter, isn't it?
6:32 - 6:45
Yeah. Keep the bee race going. The poor, cold, frozen bee. Anyway, Jonas in Berlin says, John Kearns said there must be a German word for the hours between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. in which he couldn't sleep and therefore took a pill, watched some
6:45 - 6:51
football and tried to write a sitcom. I am German. I'm happy to let you know there is indeed such a word.
6:51 - 7:01
It's Wolfstunder. Wolf's hour. I think because when you wake up at that time, you cannot but think of the worst things in the world and being attacked by a wolf must have been a common enough problem.
7:01 - 7:07
Apparently, Wolfstunder is also medically researched and explainable amongst other things because of our melatonin levels.
7:08 - 7:24
They're low at that point and it's therefore not easy to fall asleep again. There's a podcast about it by a German public broadcaster, www.deutschlandfunkenover.de slash by track slash Wolfstander hyphen schlaf or schlurie bloomer hyphen uber hyphen
7:24 - 7:31
das hyphen grubeln hyphen nux hyphen um hyphen dry hyphen or. So have a listen.
7:31 - 7:36
That's not what you think. Love the podcast and John Kearns. Best Jonas in Berlin.
7:36 - 7:45
Thank you, Jonas. Wow. Sometimes you wake up really cold in the night and I call that bee stunder because you're like a bee that's been frozen.
7:46 - 7:52
Ruby says, Evangelos Maranakis as Mother Goose. I can't remember how we got to that, but that was a good bit.
7:52 - 7:58
And Sean, amongst others, saying, you know what kids love? Justice. There's a real truth to it.
7:59 - 8:10
Regarding the Brett McKenzie episode that everyone loved, Match the Day commentator Robin Cowan, her sister Sarah got in touch via Robin, saying, from my sister, this is from Robin, I listened to the Judith.
8:10 - 8:20
What did you do yesterday? Judith now has her own ep. It was funny because on Saturday I met Val for the first time and mum just said, oh, can you give Val a lift home?
8:20 - 8:23
Obviously it was fine, but it just reminded me of that. This is a thing.
8:24 - 8:28
It's an epidemic of mums asking you to give lifts home to their friends you've never met.
8:29 - 8:34
Val, Judith. They're exactly the right names for people you have to give a lift to.
8:34 - 8:44
You can't say no, can you? And it's lovely in Brett's episode as well, where, you know, he has to take the gear down and thank people for doing the gig, etc.
8:45 - 8:50
And you get the sense that Judith is just standing there, staring at him. Holding a handbag.
8:50 - 8:58
Yeah. There we go. We're off now, yeah. Maliki, friend of the pod, flew from New York to the live show in Hackney.
8:58 - 9:10
I left you in the pub with him. Oh, wow. He recognised the oppressively expensive deli that I frequently find myself in, where I get to the till and they say, that'll be $15 for this peanut.
9:10 - 9:14
And I say, I'm sorry, I can't do that. And everyone else is just happily buying stuff.
9:15 - 9:19
He said, when I used to live on Westgarth Street, I ran out of toothpaste and had to buy some there.
9:20 - 9:30
$23 for activated charcoal toothpaste was the cheapest they had. Wow. This place, honestly. I mean, you don't have to get activated charcoal toothpaste.
9:30 - 9:36
I bet there is just a really basic Aquafresh one that was less than that.
9:36 - 9:42
Not in this place. Not in this place. Really? Something's saying the cheapest toothpaste you could get was activated charcoal toothpaste.
9:42 - 9:48
Because they wouldn't, it's the sort of place that wouldn't sell your bog standard McLeans, you know.
9:48 - 10:02
The question is, will Maliki be flying to Melbourne? Yes. So the Melbourne gig, get this, has moved from the lower town hall of Melbourne to the actual town hall.
10:02 - 10:10
Like where the Lord Mayor gathers the people of Melbourne when he or she has a big announcement to make.
10:10 - 10:24
Mick Dundee. Mick Dundee is the mayor of every town here. Yeah. Yeah. So we sold out our 300 seater and now they've decided to increase the venue size by five times, which is ambitious.
10:25 - 10:29
Is there not a middle one? You know, they could just go up to the middle one.
10:29 - 10:41
What if we only have 301 listeners in Australia? Yes. So if you are within, I'm going to say 300 miles of Melbourne, it is your duty, much as it is the Bee Freezer's duty to email us.
10:41 - 10:48
It's your duty to come to Melbourne town hall, Good Friday, prime time, 4pm, in bed for six.
10:48 - 10:57
I just feel like you haven't endeared yourself to the potential listeners by, even though you've lived in Australia for some time.
10:58 - 11:03
I've given my life to this country. And yet you're still making Crocodile Dundee jokes about it?
11:03 - 11:15
Can I say, I was once, I took Jamie to a charity cricket match and we were around a table with some sort of old cricketers who were just, you know, it was a little bit Brexity, the chat.
11:15 - 11:22
And then one of them did say, without a hint of irony, as Jamie was just trying to have small talk with people, she was like, what the fuck am I doing here?
11:22 - 11:27
This is shit. You should have gone in your own. I don't need to meet Andy Caddick or whatever.
11:27 - 11:35
And somebody said, with no irony, yes, it was, it was really Crocodile Dundee that put Australia on the map.
11:37 - 11:46
You just keep digging so that when we do our gig in the Melbourne town hall, your opening line is, that's not a town hall.
11:48 - 11:53
How can you say that to an Australian person? It was Crocodile Dundee that really put you on the map.
11:54 - 12:01
Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, so please, I'm Instagramming the link, but if you just Google, what did you do yesterday, Melbourne?
12:01 - 12:07
It will come up. So come along, please. And hopefully the technicals will be better than the Hackney gig.
12:07 - 12:16
Although people seem to like the way that, if it does, if technically, if it's not how you'd imagine a live show to be, that is all part of the plan.
12:16 - 12:20
Of course, we like to put the audio out of a phone. It's just in the back.
12:21 - 12:33
If Sigur Ros, if you hear it playing from a phone, maybe 30 feet behind the stage, you'll know that once again, the technicals are not going supremely well.
12:34 - 12:38
Well, you know, with comedy gigs, they say, look, just don't sit in the front row because you might get picked on.
12:38 - 12:44
For our gigs, do sit in the front row because then you might have a fighting chance of hearing some of the audio is what we say.
12:44 - 12:55
Get there early. Sit right near the front. We haven't booked anyone yet. So if anyone has any suggestions as to who we should book for our live, it will never be released.
12:55 - 13:00
We might as well say that now. So think of anyone. I can get Dr. Carl Kennedy.
13:00 - 13:09
Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Can't believe you're not into it. We have one suggestion.
13:09 - 13:29
Anyone else got another? Jita, friend of the pod, re: Imperial Leather, you didn't read out my next message Max. Oh no. I hate to break it to you. It feels like revealing the truth about something I can't mention. This is regards the soap magnet, and the Imperial Leather magnet. It's like a John Kearns bit that soap is magnetic, and you've been believing it for some time.
13:35 - 13:40
I haven't wanted to say what I'm pretty sure that Jita is about to say.
13:41 - 13:47
There was an iron coin size thing you press into the soap. The sticker isn't magnetic.
13:47 - 13:59
I wonder if it ever was or if Granny Moira did the same. All my illusions of childhood are shattered by the fact that the imperial leather sticker is not a magnet.
13:59 - 14:07
Yeah. My various algorithms serve up Instagram in particular. I go through different phases of it serving up different things.
14:07 - 14:15
For a while, it was exclusively a man called Danny Sandhouse who sands down floors in Victorian buildings.
14:15 - 14:21
Sounds good. That sounds really nice. Really satisfying. Does a lovely job. For another while, it was just fights on Ryanair.
14:24 - 14:28
Let's face it. You're not going to stop watching, are you? No, they're so good.
14:29 - 14:39
Especially when the poor Canary Island security have to come on and you see like 10 people being dragged off because it's just shot on one phone.
14:39 - 14:53
But more recently, it's men and it is exclusively men throwing magnets on ropes into rivers and pulling out bicycles, etc.
14:53 - 15:03
You can get really strong magnets. Yeah. People do a sort of fishing. My point is- Any question, are any of them using an imperial leather cake of imperial leather?
15:03 - 15:09
I have never seen any of them throw a bar of soap on a rope.
15:12 - 15:17
It is the strongest magnet. I think they use it in the Large Hadron Collider.
15:17 - 15:23
Two imperial opposing forces of imperial leather together. And they create like a soapy explosion.
15:23 - 15:32
And that is how you make something the cleanest it can ever be. Wow. Is by two magnetic imperial leather soaps.
15:32 - 15:37
Yeah. It just shows you don't know everything. It just shows not even I know everything slash anything.
15:38 - 15:53
I never understood why there's a warning on imperial leather. And it says, warning, if you've had like an operation where you've got pins in your foot, do not wash that foot with this soap because it will pull the pins clean out.
15:55 - 16:00
It's someone with a metal plate in their head and it's just stuck to their head for the rest of the time.
16:00 - 16:09
They can't get it off. It appears to be. There are many things I haven't really totally thought through.
16:09 - 16:16
I've accepted and moved on before I've really given them strong thought. There was an article in The Guardian this week.
16:17 - 16:25
Headline, my petty gripe. A large flat white is an oxymoron. A bastardization of the drink Australia gave the world by someone called Tom Gill.
16:25 - 16:31
Can I just say to the four and a half thousand people that have gone in touch with me, I am not Tom Gill.
16:33 - 16:43
A one of your incredibly generic aliases. Well, I'm really worried because Tom Gill is an English person who lives in Melbourne.
16:43 - 16:49
And you're right. Wow. My material is for everyone. But like I would steal someone else's, I think.
16:49 - 16:59
But I agree with Tom. He's spot on. It's an excellent piece of journalism. So his beef is that Australia has given the world, in addition to Crocodile Dundee, the flat white.
17:00 - 17:04
So by asking for a large flat white. Yeah, it's an insult. You've broken it.
17:05 - 17:08
Well, it's not a flat white. It's like someone says, can I have an espresso?
17:08 - 17:12
And they say, do you want a big black coffee? Yeah. No, you don't do.
17:12 - 17:16
You want an espresso. So if you want a flat white, you want a, I can't believe we're going there again.
17:16 - 17:20
You want a coffee that big. And I want it strong and shorter than that.
17:20 - 17:25
But you can't have a large one. I mean, that's what's wrong with Costa and Starbucks and all this, these giant cups.
17:26 - 17:31
They're a disgrace to coffee. But your drink is a three quarter. Strong flat white.
17:32 - 17:37
Yeah. So you want a less full flat white than normal with an extra shot in it.
17:37 - 17:42
What he's saying is you can't say, do you want a large one? Because that isn't, that is by definition, not a flat white.
17:43 - 17:47
Yeah. That's like saying, can I have half a pint of lager? And they say, do you want a pint?
17:47 - 17:56
Fine. Niles says, hi, Max, David and Producer Mars Bar, unfortunately Max's darts knowledge just let him down again.
17:57 - 18:05
While his maths, treble 20, treble 19, double 30 was technically correct. Most players on one, four, three would go treble 20, treble 17 to leave double 16.
18:06 - 18:11
Double 16 has excellent coverage. If you miss and hit the 16, you can go for double eight, then double four.
18:11 - 18:18
Max's plan to leave double 13 provides no coverage. Should you accidentally hit single 13, you don't immediately have another shot at a double.
18:18 - 18:25
More telling was Max's assertion that doing fairly basic mental arithmetic made him feel like Rachel Riley.
18:25 - 18:30
I imagine he's still annoyed that his application to replace Carol Vorderman on Countdown was overlooked.
18:30 - 18:36
Can we now add Rachel Riley to the list of people with jobs that Max thought he should get, but for which he was sadly passed over?
18:36 - 18:46
In the growing list, it includes Kelly Cates, Amal Rajan, the cast of Loose Women, Thomas Tuchel, Professor Sir Chris Whitty, Keir Starmer, and His Holiness Pope Leo XIV.
18:46 - 19:03
In it for life, Niall. I feel very seen. I feel. Well, did you see the scandal at the darts world championship that was on over Christmas, where apparently people in the crowd, if there was a player that they didn't want to win,
19:03 - 19:15
they would bring in imperial leather soap in their pockets. And the darts would just be dragged offline by the immense magnetic power, the tungsten reacting to the soap.
19:21 - 19:26
Do you want to play They're Just Normal Countries? Yes! It's time for They're Just Normal Countries.
19:26 - 19:39
I am the one and only. What country could I be? I am the one and only.
19:41 - 19:50
Where in the world could our listeners be? Previous guesses for They're Just Normal Countries.
19:50 - 19:58
Hang on, let me just take a breath. Excuse me. I've got a slight. I've drunk a bit too much Asahi for this moment.
19:58 - 20:03
I noticed that, that you've been swigging from it very memorably. Yeah, it's Friday night, guys.
20:03 - 20:15
Here we go. Madagascan, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino.
20:16 - 20:24
Correct. Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji. Correct. Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands.
20:24 - 20:35
Correct. Belarus, Palau, Aruba, Ecuador, Iraq, Gabon. Correct. Correct. Eritrea, Andorra, Peru. I hope someone remixes that.
20:36 - 20:42
That was really excellent. It took me a while to get into the beat with the countries, but I think we got there in the end.
20:42 - 20:47
Damien of the Hull to Sussex Commute has been in touch. Hi, Max DoD and Mars Bar.
20:47 - 20:54
I'm a second time emailer and top 9% listener Spotify wrapped. I find myself having to leap to the defense of Max and his quizzes.
20:55 - 21:01
Thank you. Max has been continually lambasted for the Teddington quiz. And on the face of it, that was well-deserved.
21:01 - 21:06
Two unconnected people spotted in a town, minimal clues, no feedback except right or wrong, guess away.
21:06 - 21:13
However, David being highly critical seems a little hypocritical. They're just normal cheeses, except they're not in any way normal cheeses.
21:13 - 21:25
And Mars Bar creating a quiz called They're Just Normal Countries, then highlighting this also includes Commonwealth territories and principalities, all of which are famously not normal countries, stemming from the fact that they're not countries.
21:25 - 21:30
At least in Teddington, the comedian was a comedian. And the footballer was, in fact, a fucking footballer.
21:30 - 21:33
And the Teddington quiz came to a conclusion far quicker than any of the other quizzes.
21:34 - 21:41
So whilst it may be time to admit Max does know about quizzes, even I believe I'm thinking of a thing won't work with one guess a week.
21:41 - 21:45
It's called Think of a Thing. Think of a Thing. And we are going to try it.
21:46 - 21:52
Oh, that's a good idea. And if I may be permitted to guess on countries as DOD is heading to Australia and will be a live show with Max.
21:53 - 21:59
And as the pod is the center of the universe, I will guess Réunion, especially as it's not an actual country.
21:59 - 22:05
Keep up the great work. Everything is showbiz. Damien. Thank you, Damien. Wow. I thought Damien was going to guess Australia.
22:05 - 22:12
And that would bode really well for a forthcoming announcement that we're playing a 1500th city.
22:15 - 22:21
Oh, no. The whole town hall. One person sitting in row F. Right in the middle.
22:21 - 22:29
Come a bit closer. It'll be fine. So, producer Will, who is here today, and he normally, the quizzes motor along with Will's here.
22:29 - 22:36
The ruiner. Is Réunion a normal country? It's not even a country, Damien. Let's not be ridiculous.
22:36 - 22:40
Yeah, come on, Damien. Stick to the rules. Okay. Everyone, you're back in the game.
22:41 - 22:47
Nort listens. Absolutely nothing. There is nothing in Réunion. Where is Réunion? We should check that out.
22:47 - 22:59
I'm going to say Haiti, near Haiti, around there. I'm just going to let you know, as the crow flies from Haiti, it is, you can't get directions on Google Maps.
22:59 - 23:06
But it takes a day and 11 hours with three connecting flights, as it's just off Madagascar.
23:06 - 23:14
So, there we go. But you're pretty close there, David. Max, I would apologize to the people of Réunion, but they don't give a shit.
23:14 - 23:22
I couldn't give a flying fuck. In fact, if you want to, what's nice is Google Maps has now done a blue line for me between Réunion and Haiti.
23:23 - 23:30
I'm amazed there's no direct flight between the two. Frankly, they don't care. But maybe someone could go to Réunion and listen to this.
23:30 - 23:37
Well, no. How about the people of Réunion all go and fuck yourselves? I couldn't give a shit.
23:41 - 23:49
Fucking morons. Absolutely clueless fuckwits, aren't they? Hey, David, what time did you wake up in the morning yesterday?
23:50 - 23:57
Okay. I normally go straight into these things, but I have had a rotten cold these past few days.
23:57 - 24:18
Oh, David. I'm sorry to hear that. While doing this recording right now has made me feel chipper, a lot chipper than I was, yesterday was something of a, I wouldn't say a non-event, but I was desperately trying to be well for this podcast, Max, is the best way.
24:18 - 24:22
No, no, no. If you're not, if you were just going to lie in a heap having limbs hit, that's the day.
24:22 - 24:27
That's the way this works. You shouldn't change what you're going to do just for the interest of content.
24:27 - 24:35
Yeah, I did consider, because I wasn't feeling great this morning, of lying in bed with my equipment set up around me.
24:35 - 24:48
Ah, the horizontal episode. Yeah, and Helen Copter just spooning Lemsip into my face, but I don't think, I don't think the listeners, they want to be zhished by our podcast.
24:48 - 24:59
When I did the Breakfast Show on BBC London 2005 to 2007, or, well, something like that, maybe just a year, I don't think I lasted very long until I was replaced by Paul Ross,
24:59 - 25:05
my nemesis. I worked with Jo Good, the broadcaster, who's great. She was in Crossroads.
25:06 - 25:10
And she would, we have quite an unlikely duo. It has to be said. Like us.
25:10 - 25:22
She said, Dr. Footlights. They used to say on the, when they were treading the boards, and that was, as soon as the curtain goes up, it doesn't matter if you've got gout and encephalitis.
25:23 - 25:26
Yeah. You just have to get on with it and do the show. That's what the people want.
25:26 - 25:30
They don't want to know that you're not well. Although, if you weren't well yesterday, it's exactly what we want to know.
25:31 - 25:38
It's a funny one, because definitely once an Edinburgh Fringe, there's a day where you're not feeling very well.
25:39 - 25:48
Sometimes self-inflicted, because you've been out too late the night before. And that is when I sometimes appeal to, I would call him slash her Dr. Showbiz.
25:48 - 25:53
And I would say, Dr. Showbiz, can you please just do me a solid here?
25:54 - 26:01
Get me through this one. But then sometimes because Dr. Showbiz obliges, you feel on a high afterwards.
26:02 - 26:11
And you go out. You go out again. Right. And where it gets sticky is night two, where you're like, sorry, Dr. Showbiz, to disturb you again.
26:11 - 26:21
And that's when Dr. Showbiz sometimes is just like, no, absolutely not, son. Dr. Showbiz is not available, but Dr. Vomit in a Bush is there.
26:22 - 26:28
We'll see you at 11.15 p.m. appointment. So 5 a.m. We wake up at 5 a.m.
26:28 - 26:33
Oh, 5 a.m. Finally welcome to the 5 a.m. club. High performance time. It's not.
26:33 - 26:42
I don't have a flu. It's definitely not a viral thing. It's just a large chunks in the throat coughing kind of a thing.
26:42 - 26:52
So, yeah, I considered sleep not keeping Helen Copter awake. But in the end, I decided to keep her awake instead.
26:53 - 27:00
I coughed myself awake at 5 and feel like I'm not going to get back to sleep.
27:00 - 27:08
I think I do get back to sleep briefly, but I'm listening to podcasts because the all blacks coach in rugby has been fired.
27:08 - 27:15
And that never happens in rugby. Wow. It's sort of noteworthy, but not sufficiently noteworthy.
27:16 - 27:26
I think I doze back off. And at 8 o'clock awake with a tray being placed beside me by the Helen Copter.
27:26 - 27:33
Oh, you guys. Yeah. There's a lemsip. There's a coffee. I don't think you're supposed to drink coffee when...
27:33 - 27:41
Do you know anything about this? I know you're not supposed to drink, like, cow milk because it increases your phlegm production.
27:41 - 27:46
Is that right? And I think so. But I think maybe you're supposed to stay away from caffeinated stuff.
27:46 - 28:03
I don't know. I just need all the engine to keep me going here. And Helen's made a sort of miracle porridge type concoction that has blueberries and various seeds, etc. in it, which is a very nice thing to do.
28:04 - 28:10
So quite a phlegmy consistency, though. I mean... Yeah, she's made me a bowl of phlegm.
28:10 - 28:18
Yeah. Which is gaslighting. She's gaslighting you there, really. I mean... Yeah. Because I've kept her awake all night with my coffee.
28:18 - 28:22
She's kept it all. She's kept all the phlegm. And now she's delivered it back to you.
28:25 - 28:29
Very medieval sort of a cure. You know, eat a bowl of your own gauzy.
28:30 - 28:36
And then you'll be fine. I don't know about lemsip. I don't know if there's any point to lemsip.
28:36 - 28:42
I think because it's a bit disgusting to people from overseas. Possibly not everyone has lemsip.
28:42 - 28:52
It's like heart washing up liquid with paracetamol in it that generations have been told is good for them.
28:52 - 28:57
I suppose in its defense, you only have it when you're feeling shit, don't you?
28:57 - 29:01
So you're never feeling great. So you never have like a lemsip on a great day.
29:01 - 29:08
Like you're never going to go, ah, yes. I mean, they're unlikely. Even my defense are unlikely to sponsor the podcast in a big way.
29:08 - 29:13
But you're unlikely to... It's possible that you could be going really downhill and it's just kept you on a level.
29:13 - 29:20
I'm just thinking in defense of... If I was to write in defense of lemsip, the article, that's where I would go with it.
29:20 - 29:29
As Paul Gill in The Guardian. Do you think we could make... Bring lemsip out of ill times?
29:30 - 29:33
Like if in the new James Bond... Like mulled wine. It could be like mulled wine.
29:33 - 29:45
Or even in the new James Bond, we pay loads of money and he asks for a martini, shake it not stirred, with a lemsip just sprinkled over the top of it.
29:45 - 29:50
No, it's not a martini, just as a lemsip. He just goes to the, you know, incredibly swanky bar.
29:50 - 29:54
You know, it's a casino, isn't it? There's all sorts of people about to kill him.
29:54 - 29:56
He just says, I'll have a lemsip. And then he sits there for about...
29:56 - 30:03
He sits there with a blanket over his head. And just like, you know, just really just takes about two hours to drink it while watching Doctors.
30:03 - 30:09
Or like Quincy. And then he gets back on with playing craps or whatever it is.
30:09 - 30:15
This is the problem since Bond sort of... Since Daniel Craig Bond went sort of in more of a realist direction.
30:15 - 30:23
You know, where he feels bad about having blown up all of those people. As opposed to just old sort of campy 70s Bond.
30:24 - 30:29
Like he'd never have a lemsip. But it is possible. It's possible that Daniel Craig would have a lemsip.
30:30 - 30:35
It's true. They just don't show the three days where he's just sidelined with man flu.
30:35 - 30:40
Do they? They don't just go, oh. Can you do this mission? He's like, actually, I'm just feeling a bit...
30:40 - 30:45
Just not myself. You know, I'm just a bit sinus-y. Maybe there's a real... There's an actual thing of...
30:45 - 30:50
Have you ever used that sinus pump where it just pumps water up one nostril and it goes into your whole brain and comes out the other?
30:50 - 30:57
It's absolutely fucking awful. And there's Daniel Craig's... He's shirt off. And because enough water comes out of your nose, it sort of ripples on his chest.
30:57 - 31:05
So he's still like a sexy thing about it. But he's also trying to clear his clogged sinuses before he can go and take out the Libyans.
31:07 - 31:15
I've done the one where I had a mysterious sort of throat-nasal blockage for ages.
31:15 - 31:26
And have to heat up salty water and then inhale it like Pablo Escobar. Like, shoot it up the nose.
31:26 - 31:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is an odd sensation because that feels... It's the closest I'll get to sort of waterboarding myself then.
31:33 - 31:44
But you do feel raring to go afterwards because it temporarily unblocks everything. And also kills any slugs that might be up there as well.
31:44 - 32:00
So I get up. I heroically rise after this meal because this is... It's not a nightmare scenario, but it's not ideal in that we have a viewing of the house.
32:00 - 32:11
So this place needs to be tidy for 12. And I am recording an episode of the hit podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?
32:11 - 32:15
I love that podcast. It's a good one. I've never listened to it. It's such a great concept.
32:16 - 32:25
That's what I... I know, but the two guys, they got to do it. Like, imagine if they'd got bloody Hyde and Osmond to do it.
32:25 - 32:32
Then I think it could have been a bigger thing than it was. If they'd got Chris O'Dowd and Tim Lovejoy, it'd have been an absolute hit, wouldn't it?
32:35 - 32:45
So we record an episode with Vittorio Angelone coming soon. Lovely episode. But we are having so much fun.
32:46 - 32:51
I do feel Dr. Footlight slash Showbiz kicks in. I didn't notice you were off the pace.
32:51 - 32:56
Yes, I didn't mention being... But I was slightly fake until you make it at the start.
32:57 - 33:04
Right. However, we're having such a nice time. This goes on until, I don't know, maybe recorded for an hour and a half, the whole thing.
33:04 - 33:13
Yeah, probably, yeah. Because the house man is coming at quarter to 12. I got to run around and...
33:13 - 33:21
It's mostly shoes. They're the main culprit. Like, I'm not trying to present this house as no one lives here.
33:21 - 33:27
It's a show home. But I also just don't want my massive stinking shoes everywhere.
33:28 - 33:35
So I do a kind of a basic tidy up. I will say, not really hard to clean up shoes, are they?
33:36 - 33:46
No, they're not too hard to clean up. But I wet a tea towel and throw it down on the whole tiles and do a sort of a quick mop with my foot.
33:46 - 33:52
But then I don't want the people viewing it to see that it's wet. So then I open the front door.
33:52 - 33:58
You just... You don't want to be there while they're viewing. You get the tumble dryer and you tip it on its side.
33:58 - 34:08
And then you turn it on open over the... You don't... Yeah. You don't... You want to, like, give the impression that this is...
34:08 - 34:16
Because people are so stupid when they buy houses, and we all are. They're going to walk in and think, well, he doesn't keep it tidy, so there's no way we can't.
34:16 - 34:20
You know? Like, these two things, it's absolutely impossible. We're going to live in his shoes.
34:21 - 34:24
Like, this is weird. Surely you buy the house, he might take the stuff away with him.
34:25 - 34:32
But no, that's not how it works. Not only that, but then I am lying in bed upstairs, like, really unwell.
34:32 - 34:39
Yeah, yeah. In this imagined scenario, just blowing my nose constantly. And could you make me another lemsip, please?
34:39 - 34:48
It's been three hours since the last one. So I tidy, wipe, and then decide, I've got to get out of here.
34:49 - 35:00
I've got to go. I go to the cafe, the fumbly around the corner. On the way there, the man shouts, what happened to you yesterday, as we've covered already.
35:00 - 35:07
And I decide to get the soup and a sandwich combo there. Good stuff. Okay.
35:07 - 35:14
What's the soup today? It's 12. It's a little early. So the lunchtime roast hasn't kicked in.
35:14 - 35:22
What's celeriac? Is it just celery? No. It's beige soup. It's fine. It just tastes like soup.
35:22 - 35:29
But what is, can you buy a celeriac? I believe so, yeah. It is. Not to be vague.
35:29 - 35:36
It's within that sort of leek family. Yeah. I would say. Do you want any more information?
35:36 - 35:40
I'm just keeping my cards close to my chest here. I don't want to give all, I don't want to give the game away.
35:41 - 35:48
It does seem a popular ingredient in soup. Probably because it's big and earthy and a good base.
35:49 - 35:55
Probably cheap. Yeah. Cheap. They've tricked it up. There's a little nice chili oil or something in the top.
35:55 - 36:02
It's a fine soup. And the sandwich is good. I take out my laptop. It's the celery root.
36:02 - 36:07
So really, it's more like celery because it's on the other end of the celery.
36:07 - 36:19
Oh, so the celery is just the flower of this boring underground blob. But not really flower in the sense that if you were to try and impress the Helen Copter,
36:19 - 36:26
you would buy a big bunch of celery. No. But I haven't really nailed it.
36:26 - 36:32
They haven't got a day yet. If we could come up with a day, you know, roses on Valentine's Day, lilies if someone's dead.
36:33 - 36:43
Maybe it's like happy January, healthy January. I've got you a bouquet of celery. Is there a football team and the fans throw celery on the pitch?
36:43 - 37:00
Am I imagining that? I have no idea. I mean, almost certainly. Celery on the pitch refers to a notorious long-running tradition by Chelsea FC fans involving chanting a vulgar song and throwing celery strokes onto the field.
37:00 - 37:06
I didn't know that. Okay. Chanting a vulgar song. That doesn't sound like football fans to me.
37:07 - 37:13
Well, think of all the celeriac bulbs that they've left over when they've just pulled off the celery.
37:14 - 37:20
That's why famously at Stamford Bridge, the soup that's available. That is celeriac. Yeah. Only celeriac.
37:20 - 37:26
I mean, it's nicer than to throw the celery than celeriac because that is a heavier, that is harder.
37:27 - 37:31
Someone threw a cabbage at Steve Bruce once. Everyone obviously knows who Steve Bruce is.
37:33 - 37:38
Former captain of Manchester United. Yeah. And so I was filming a sketch and we were going to finish with someone throwing a cabbage at me.
37:39 - 37:42
We sort of just did a little run through and fuck. I was like, you can't throw that.
37:42 - 37:45
Like, it was just good. The idea was it was just going to hit me in the head and I would just carry on.
37:45 - 37:49
Nothing's happened. Yeah, heavy. But Jesus, do not have a cabbage thrown at your head.
37:50 - 37:55
Steve Bruce also wrote some thrillers, didn't he? Yeah, he wrote a crime trilogy. Yes.
37:55 - 37:58
Did he actually write it? Yeah, he wrote it. Yeah, yeah, definitely. He wrote it.
37:59 - 38:05
Wow. Did you read it? I don't know what it was called now. No. But I think on Quickly Kevin podcast, they read them all out.
38:05 - 38:12
They read them. Oh, yes. Like an audio book. Yeah. I now take out the laptop and I enter into a conversation with a man on eBay.
38:13 - 38:23
Great. We are buying, let me guess, we are buying three Shimano. Ah, yes. No, but yes.
38:23 - 38:36
We're buying a cyclocross frame, the actual body of the bicycle from a man called Paul in Derby.
38:37 - 38:46
Now, Paul's settings, unfortunately, do not allow sales to the Republic of Ireland. Oh, come on, Paul.
38:46 - 38:52
Yeah, it's post Brexit. It's fine. But Paul is willing to sell it to me.
38:52 - 39:01
We get in the conversation. So then I suggest to Paul, Paul, we'll do it off eBay.
39:02 - 39:06
This is on eBay messages. All right. Go off the books. Just go off the books.
39:06 - 39:13
Yeah. Paul, I'll send it to you via PayPal. Here's my email. And I go send.
39:13 - 39:20
And eBay goes, it looks like you're trying to lead, conduct a transaction away from eBay.
39:20 - 39:28
Yeah. Yeah. And suddenly, like masked men come in like ice. So I am nothing if not a hacker.
39:28 - 39:36
So I then decide, okay, I'll put my email name in and then write at.
39:36 - 39:46
And I won't say Gmail because probably their AI knows what that is. So I go ggapmail.com.
39:46 - 40:01
It goes, it looks like. Oh, they're good, these guys. Yeah, they are good. So then I go, my email name, then G, spelled like G, G-E-E, mail.
40:01 - 40:08
And then I'm thinking I won't put .com, maybe. So then they go, it looks like.
40:08 - 40:16
Yes. Again. So I go to the internet, my old friend, the internet. And I said, how do you get around this?
40:17 - 40:33
Various people saying there's no way of getting around this. Wow. eBay are good. And then one guy goes, you take a photograph of the written email and you enclose it as a photo.
40:34 - 40:39
So that's what I do. I type out my email. I take a screenshot of it.
40:40 - 40:47
I enclose it. Bang. You got it. It goes through. We're now chatting off eBay on Gmail.
40:48 - 40:53
What an incredible piece of hacking that is. That is good, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.
40:53 - 40:57
They'll get you now, though. They're always listening. Oh, no. Yeah. I shouldn't have been bragging.
40:57 - 41:02
No. That's the trouble with, you know, art criminals will always want to admit it to someone.
41:03 - 41:15
And that's what you've done. Helen is having people over tonight, last night. Right. Are you not invited?
41:15 - 41:22
I am invited. I'm not necessarily in the best shape for it, but I want to put my best foot forward.
41:22 - 41:27
So I decide. But you've been together long enough now where you don't have to impress anyone she knows.
41:27 - 41:32
No, but these are actually people that I don't know. Helen Coppola has lived many lives.
41:33 - 41:40
Okay. And this is from a phase when she lived in New York City. Oh, it's Joe Pesci.
41:40 - 41:49
Her hand. Yes. And Frank Lampard from when he played for the New York City football team.
41:49 - 41:57
And Oscar the Grouch. Yeah, it's true. He keeps having to come out of the bin and go back in again.
41:57 - 42:03
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I decide. They're just going to get a takeaway. Okay. But I will provide some cheese.
42:04 - 42:08
Now, I won't go into the details here. That is interesting, isn't it? Okay, right.
42:08 - 42:14
That puts us in a difficult spot. But I'll just. We'll provide two cheeses. Hang on.
42:14 - 42:22
Hang on. Hang on. No, this is good. Sorry, David. I'm afraid that you've launched Curdle Part 3 while Curdle Part 2 is in play.
42:22 - 42:27
I want no more information. But how many cheeses are you providing for the second?
42:27 - 42:31
This is the plate competition. My God. This is the Curdle. Do you know what this is?
42:31 - 42:37
This is effectively eBay going like, it looks like you're trying to talk about cheese.
42:37 - 42:44
I can't believe you. You've launched Curdle the Plate competition while the official second Curdle is taking place.
42:44 - 42:56
It's like the European Super League. What a list is meant to do. You can either enter official Curdle or you can enter this, you can enter this Kerry Packer style rebel tour Curdle that's happening.
42:56 - 43:00
That just happened on the 15th of January. This is not a Christmas cheese board.
43:00 - 43:08
It's just David's launched another cheese competition. You'd have thought if we launched another competition, it wouldn't be just the same as the other ones.
43:08 - 43:14
But here we are. This is so exciting. I go overwhelmed. How many cheeses? It's two cheeses.
43:15 - 43:19
Two cheeses. They're normal cheeses. Okay, that's all. I'd like to add one more thing to this.
43:20 - 43:33
As it's a sort of non-event mid-season tournament, even if you win it, they're just going through the motions, raise up the trophy, with everyone doing the clapping where you just sort of bang your wrists together.
43:33 - 43:41
In many ways, we're frustrated about it because it's just fixture congestion. There are just too many cheese-based quizzes, and this one we don't really want.
43:42 - 43:49
But unfortunately, it's been foisted upon us. It's FIFA and UEFA. The cheese versions of them, they just want more money.
43:49 - 43:54
And why should fans pay and watch this cheese game? It's not even interesting, but we have to play it.
43:55 - 44:02
So here we have the January 15th rebel cheese game. Two cheeses. Normal email. There is crossover.
44:02 - 44:06
That's why I am trying to move on. That's okay. Well, if there is, there is.
44:06 - 44:12
If there is, there is. I mean, not only is it a rebel tour, it's one that involves plagiarism as well.
44:12 - 44:18
So it's absolutely disastrous. But you can't, the rules is you cannot enter both cheese competitions on the same email.
44:19 - 44:31
If you want to enter this two cheese rebel tour, you can. So the prize, which one of these contests is the prize is my headphones if I ever find them again?
44:32 - 44:45
Maybe for the Christmas cheese. And then hang on with this, with this sort of evil cheese competition, it's clearly bankrolled by like a nation state with terrible human rights record or like someone terrible.
44:45 - 44:50
So the prize is actually absolutely enormous. If you get this one, right, you are allowed.
44:50 - 44:55
If you're ever in the same city as either one of them, David, to meet us for one beer in total silence.
45:00 - 45:07
No words must be spoken. Just a nod. Drink a drink and you leave. I purchased the cheeses.
45:07 - 45:19
I come back. The viewing has taken place. It has very tidy, but in a sort of eerie kind of, you know, you've walked into a sort of replicant version of your own life.
45:19 - 45:27
That's how it always feels. I attempt to do some work, but I feel a bit wrecked, to be honest.
45:27 - 45:44
It's payback time. A delightful thing happens where post has arrived, including a birthday card for me from my birthday last month from America that obviously missed some deadline or something.
45:44 - 45:52
Has the Australian one missed? That's not a right idea. The ones that you sent, the big Hot Wheels garage that you sent to me.
45:53 - 46:04
Ian Rushden's finished with this, David. A dusty old... Mind the gap. It's just got some cheesy pasta on it somewhere, encrusted.
46:07 - 46:19
The card is from sometime listener, longtime friend of mine, Roxanne, who is in Denver, and she has written...
46:19 - 46:25
Hello, Roxanne in Denver. Yeah, she's definitely been in touch. She's written me a poem that I would...
46:25 - 46:29
It's a very short poem. I would like to read it. Is it about sauropods?
46:29 - 46:37
No, it's not, but it nearly is. Okay, great. So it's called You're the Same Age as Jaws.
46:37 - 46:45
The year is 1975. Little baby David is now alive. Jaws is born. However, sharks do that.
46:45 - 46:58
You became giants in your field, brackets, comedy, brackets, shark attacks. But what if, on your journey from ether to earth, the wires got crossed, two mismatched births, and you arrived,
46:58 - 47:10
rows of teeth in the sea, telling jokes to the anemones. And what if Jaws landed in Dublin, constantly chomping on folk, hunting them?
47:11 - 47:20
It's probably, for the best, it worked out like it has. Sharks in the ocean, David's on land, mostly because Jaws blows up at the end, but you're still going strong.
47:21 - 47:28
Happy 50th birthday, my friend. I mean, it's a really good poem. In a way, it leans into sauropods.
47:28 - 47:34
I feel your sauropods poem does influence a lot of work that came after it.
47:34 - 47:40
Would the jaws on land have the, would the tiny keyboard be in the sea or on the shark?
47:40 - 47:45
I would have found a tiny keyboard in the sea that had been thrown overboard.
47:45 - 47:50
Right. Okay. Or you'd play like a seashell. You'd play a slightly different instrument. You'd play that.
47:50 - 48:04
Yes. But because generally creatures of the sea are more survival based, I don't think they would have as much time for my music as they would have if I'd been born on land.
48:05 - 48:10
Meanwhile, the on land me is a serial killer. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense.
48:10 - 48:15
But it should be quite easy for the detectives to go, this one's been bitten in half again.
48:15 - 48:22
Who could it? Who could it be? What about Sharky David? No, I don't think he's too nice.
48:22 - 48:29
It's not the kind of, keeps himself to himself. Okay. So, so you read the poem, Helen's friends over yet?
48:29 - 48:46
Helen's friends start to arrive and then I say hello to them. I've got some beans back, but I need beans because at 7.15, I have to do a radio interview on Midlands 103 to promote a gig I'm doing in Mullingar,
48:47 - 48:54
home of Nile from One Direction. Okay. He once complimented me on a jumper I was wearing on Soccer M.
48:55 - 49:09
No way. He was a fan of that show. Yeah. Big moment for me. He's beloved in that he's famous, but I suspect it might be a slightly unsatisfying life for Nile because do you think in the darkest of nights,
49:09 - 49:17
he's like, what have I done? What have I really done? No, I think he's all right because I think, I met him once because he was, he loves talk sports.
49:17 - 49:20
So he was in doing the show with Alan Brazil and I was doing the show afterwards.
49:20 - 49:26
What? And he's like a big Derby County fan. I think he's just fine. I think he's probably just, this is lucky, isn't it?
49:27 - 49:32
Or like, you know, I'm having a good time. I suspect he's all right. I don't think we should worry about Niall Horan.
49:32 - 49:42
I think he's probably fine. I attempt to bond with Claire, the host of the arts show on Midlands 103.
49:42 - 49:50
Right. I need something to bond about the town of Mullingar, which is sort of quintessential Midlands town of Ireland.
49:50 - 50:03
But unfortunately, I look to my memory banks and the only thing I can think of is when we would drive to Akko Island out west to visit Granny when we were little,
50:03 - 50:10
Dad would let us have our first wee in Mullingar. That's lovely. Is that what you want to hear?
50:11 - 50:14
Did you bring that up? Yeah, obviously brought that up. And how did Claire take it?
50:14 - 50:28
Did she like that or not? I wouldn't say she loved it, but the memory is either going into a hotel where Dad would be like, go, go, go to all of us or going into some pub at like, you know,
50:28 - 50:37
half 11 in the morning and Dad kind of pretending to peruse the top shelf of whiskeys while three children.
50:37 - 50:43
No, it's great for the radio show because instantly you just go, where did you stop for your first piss?
50:43 - 50:48
It's like a great text topic. Claire should have run with that. That's like a whole show.
50:50 - 51:01
Also, no clues. No clues for anyone. Peter and Athlone, we stopped in, yep, Scaries.
51:02 - 51:10
The Helen Cumpeter's mates are really nice. They order pizza and they're having a glass of wine.
51:10 - 51:17
There is a lot of non-alcoholic beer being drunk because it's Thursday night and it's dry January as well.
51:17 - 51:23
Right. Did I tell you my dry January joke, which I tried it at a gig, but it only worked.
51:23 - 51:30
I did a gig on the 3rd of January. Yeah. And this joke only works on that day.
51:31 - 51:34
It got very little at the gig, if I'm honest, but I think it's good.
51:35 - 51:37
I'll see what I can do. I'll try and come up with a good reaction.
51:37 - 51:44
I said, anyone here doing dry January? So you know what dry January is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:45 - 51:53
And I say, everyone's doing dry January in Germany today because it's dry January. Good.
51:54 - 51:59
That's not bad. That's the best reaction I've ever had. Do one of your jokes.
52:00 - 52:08
I do a controversial thing. They're all sitting around having good old catch ups. Everyone's very nice, interested.
52:09 - 52:18
I'm telling them about my interview I've just done with Midlands 103. I take it upon myself having had pizza to go like, do you know what I'd like?
52:18 - 52:28
A little treat now. And I go to a food ordering app on my phone, find a local delicious desserts place and order three desserts.
52:28 - 52:34
Okay. So there's a ring on the doorbell 15 minutes later. And I say, I wonder who that could be.
52:34 - 52:40
And I go and I plunk them down on the table. And luckily, the reaction is positive.
52:40 - 52:45
It was a little bit of a risk. So if you'd like to guess the three desserts.
52:51 - 52:57
It's slightly audacious though. And someone else is gathering though, isn't it? No, I think that's fine.
52:57 - 53:01
I think it's generous. And also, it's like your house as well. It's not like...
53:01 - 53:07
I know. Because I was at a party recently. That was my niece's birthday party, I think.
53:07 - 53:15
So lots of people there in the day, lots of people have got kids. So you're getting there early, you're leaving early, and just ordered some chips on Uber Eats.
53:15 - 53:23
There's loads of food there. Yeah. I'm not sure that's cool. Yeah, that is audacious.
53:23 - 53:29
So hang on, what do you got? A tiramisu, a chocolate fondant and a sticky toffee pudding.
53:29 - 53:41
Interesting. No. Churros. Okay, yeah. Okay. So long donuts, something called a lava, chocolate lava cake, which has just got molten chocolate inside it.
53:42 - 53:49
Great. And then things that look like profiteroles, but are in fact cinnamon and icing.
53:49 - 53:56
I think this place might have a slightly Spanish-y vibe to it. And yeah, all of these things are absolutely delicious.
53:57 - 54:03
I eat one or two and it's about 11 o'clock. Do you know what I feel?
54:03 - 54:08
My voice starting to go, you know, when you have a cold, it just goes very thin.
54:08 - 54:15
And so it's probably before 11, I say, you guys stay here and catch up. I'm going to bed.
54:15 - 54:20
And I go upstairs and I'm asleep within about 45 seconds. That's what I did yesterday.
54:20 - 54:33
Let's play official curdle aye-aye. We need to draw the distinction now the whole time between the Breakaway League.
54:33 - 54:40
Between the Breakaway Rebel Tour and the official. Maybe in the second one they don't have the rights to the real cheese names.
54:42 - 55:34
Five. Mandarin Lewis says, hey Max, David and Mars Bar, those of us not from Ireland, how are we supposed to know which cheeses are or not available there?
55:34 - 55:38
I've done some googling on cheeses available in Ireland and my guesses are. Here we go.
55:39 - 55:46
Do you want to bishu-ing? Bishu-ing! You remember it's bing, bing, bing and bing. I do remember all the bings.
55:47 - 56:00
Okay. Sorry, interruption. The lady on Midlands 103 just said, and what is it she was talking about this podcast and she said, and you're obsessed with cheeses on the podcast.
56:01 - 56:06
I said, no, I'm not. It's just Max must make everything into a competition. Yes.
56:06 - 56:17
What are the guesses? Bree. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. St. Tola. What? St. Agur.
56:19 - 56:27
These are just, are they all saints? From now on. Dubliner. I mean, that's a shitty cheddar.
56:27 - 56:37
Come on. Cashel Blue. Bing. Oh, right cheese, wrong place for Cashel Blue. So well done, Manda.
56:38 - 56:45
So we're still a four cheese board, but Cashel Blue has to go somewhere. If you'd like to get in touch with the official cheese board, Curdle I.I.
56:46 - 56:51
or the Rebel Tour two cheese plate competition, it's the same email address. And here it is.
56:52 - 57:02
Also, if you think you might know a country where as of last March, only one person had listened to this podcast, you can get in touch there as well.
57:02 - 57:10
If you have any feedback whatsoever, there was something about Australia we asked for feedback on, I can't remember.
57:10 - 57:21
But this is how you get in touch. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyestidaypod at gmail.com.
57:21 - 57:28
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
57:28 - 57:38
And if you didn't, please don't. Hey, thanks David. I'm in it for life. I too am in it for life.
57:38 - 57:53
And get well soon. Don't die because I've been doing this podcast. Hello yesterday fans.
57:54 - 57:59
It's Generic Man 3 here. I hope you're looking forward to this episode of the podcast.
57:59 - 58:12
I don't know who the guest is. I will know in about a minute. Anyway, April the 3rd is Good Friday and me and David are starting our world tour at 4pm at the Melbourne Town Hall.
58:12 - 58:19
They put us in a 300 seater. We sold out in a minute. And now they've increased the capacity by five times.
58:19 - 58:33
And so feels ambitious to me but to make sure everything is still showbiz. Please come if you live in Melbourne or Australia or the Southern Hemisphere or any of the normal countries that there are.
58:34 - 58:38
And we'd love to see you. I think you just Google what did you do yesterday?
58:38 - 58:42
Live Melbourne or something like that. And then come along. Thanks. Bye.