S4 EP3: Christopher Macarthur-Boyd

0:06 - 0:36

Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time.

0:36 - 1:09

What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to today's episode of What Did You Do Yesterday? My name is Max Rushden and alongside me, David O'Doherty. Hello, David. Christopher.

1:09 - 1:34

MacArthur-Boyd. The most syllabled guest, I would say that we have ever had. That's a good question, isn't it? I suddenly can't remember anyone we've had on the podcast. So that is a problem. Guy Montgomery. Like if Guy was short for a much longer, you know, Guy Polian Montgomery. I don't think that would even.

1:34 - 1:48

It's not even that. No, you're right. And also that isn't what Guy Montgomery's name is short for. So we're still, you're right. It's just a great episode, this one. Let's for the tape. We did it a while ago. I really, really loved it.

1:48 - 2:03

It's one of those ones where I think I've said this before about other places, but if Glasgow and what Glasgow means to me was lost to the waves, I feel you could rebuild a lot of it from this podcast.

2:03 - 2:11

Yeah. I think no one has said in the recording more. I didn't know I was going to be on until late at night.

2:11 - 2:16

Always the best. Always the best. I wouldn't have done this. I wouldn't have done this.

2:16 - 2:22

Yeah. Et cetera, et cetera. We don't want to give away what Christopher does or doesn't do in today's episode.

2:22 - 2:27

But there is a highly unexpected mention of Marty Pello, the lead singer of Wet, Wet, Wet.

2:28 - 2:40

Isn't there just? Yeah. Absolutely. You may know Christopher from Here Comes the Guillotine, the podcast with Susie McCabe and Frankie Boyle.

2:40 - 2:52

He references his new special during this in a most entertaining way. It's called Scary Times and it's on YouTube. Please check it out.

2:52 - 3:03

Although you have missed, you've missed the watch along that launched it. And he is about to start a new podcast called Shooting Robes with Roscoe, Roscoe McLennan.

3:03 - 3:11

He is on tour in 2026. Such a funny man. And his new show is called Howling at the Moon.

3:12 - 3:29

Not much else to say, really. This is what Christopher MacArthur-Boyd did yesterday. Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

3:29 - 3:34

Max Rushden, David O'Doherty alongside. Oh no, that's not what we do on this. Yeah, yeah. It was very odd.

3:34 - 3:38

I was thinking that then. I'm like, I'd use a different bit. That's the intro. Chris, that's the intro.

3:39 - 3:42

You want to be here for the intro bit. Christopher MacArthur-Boyd, we'll do that.

3:42 - 3:47

Or should I? I'll just start again. Start again. Christopher MacArthur-Boyd, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

3:48 - 3:53

Thank you so much. Is this coming through? I'm not showing up on the wee voice bit at the bottom.

3:53 - 3:57

Yeah. I can see you. I can hear you. I'm happy with all of it.

3:57 - 4:03

Thank you for having me. Sorry for ruining the start with some... Technical audio stuff. That was good.

4:04 - 4:13

Thanks for having me on your podcast. Although we can see you and hear you, it's funny because what I get on my machine is your vibe.

4:13 - 4:20

And your vibe is very low. So hopefully we'll pick that up over the course of the next 12 hours.

4:20 - 4:26

That's what the listeners don't know. We record for 12 and we just... You get edited down.

4:26 - 4:33

Edited right down. It's like a samurai sword. You just fold it and fold it and fold it until it's sharp as a samurai sword.

4:33 - 4:38

How do they make samurai sword? It's just a big piece of paper. And then if you fold it enough...

4:38 - 4:46

Yeah. Wow. It starts as origami and ends up as a katana. Wow. It's pretty wonderful.

4:46 - 4:50

This is learning stuff. Come on, let's get down to business then. What time did you wake up in the morning yesterday?

4:51 - 4:58

Before we get into this, I just have to say, I did not know I was going to be doing this.

4:59 - 5:07

These are the best episodes. Right. I'm a big fan of this podcast. I listen to people and you can tell, you know, and you were accusing Charlie Baker of it at that time.

5:07 - 5:10

And I know that's just his wonderful life because he's a beautiful soul and everything.

5:11 - 5:20

But sometimes you're listening and you're like, you knew you were doing this and you had an intentionally interesting day to game the system.

5:21 - 5:33

You're a weak, weak person. Whereas I started, I had no idea this was going to be just a quiet day for me where I intentionally did nothing.

5:33 - 5:41

Yes. I had one thing, it didn't happen. So I started, I woke up, I woke up groggy.

5:41 - 5:49

Interruption. How funny would this be if he woke up at two, had a wank at half five and went to bed at seven.

5:49 - 5:53

And then I had texted at about eight to be like, could you do it tomorrow?

5:53 - 5:56

He had one Pop-Tart and that was it. I had a Pop-Tart and went to bed.

5:57 - 6:12

You're not far off, David. You woke up, you're groggy. Groggy. I've been experimenting with sleep aids to try and get more sleep because I've always been a bit of a night owl.

6:12 - 6:18

I'm always kind of going to bed at three or four or five and then waking up at 11, 12, one.

6:18 - 6:26

That's mad. That's crazy. It's absolutely mental. So that's why I've been dipping into different things that could alert.

6:26 - 6:32

Do you wake up covered in contraptions? That's the image I have. Yeah. I'm not a Wallace and Gromit.

6:33 - 6:40

There's a frying pan on a piece of elastic. Every time he raises his head, it just bonks it back down again.

6:40 - 6:51

It's basic stuff. Yeah. I live in a Rube Goldberg machine. I wake up and then a bowl rolls down a homemade hamster house.

6:52 - 6:55

And suddenly you're wearing trousers. It goes in my mouth and starts choking. I wake up.

6:56 - 7:01

Yeah. Next thing you know, I'm robbing a jewel from a museum. It is great.

7:01 - 7:10

Controlled by an evil penguin. It is, you know, for, you know, people who are, they get up late, they're into an S&M and they're in a hurry.

7:10 - 7:15

If you could wake up with the gimp mask already on, they all just came into place.

7:16 - 7:25

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah. Perfect. Deborah Meaden isn't so sure. Exactly. Can I get my advocate from downstairs?

7:26 - 7:35

I'm struggling on the numbers. Yeah. The sleepy gimp is not taking off. Exactly. I've got orders in boots.

7:39 - 7:45

So I've been dabbling with different substances to kind of help me sleep. I had some weed gummies for a while.

7:46 - 7:53

That was prohibitively expensive. And sometimes I wouldn't fall asleep and I'd just be really stoned, which was nice in this one.

7:53 - 8:00

But it was just, if I'm trying to get to sleep every day, you can't really be indulging in gummies.

8:00 - 8:06

Now, my only knowledge of these, a number of footballers spent all day tweeting about them.

8:07 - 8:16

Really? I think so, yeah. And they're all like, these has changed my life. And I sometimes feel I want to put together like the 11, the CBD gummy 11.

8:16 - 8:22

Because actually, I reckon they could still probably win League One. That's what I think, you know.

8:23 - 8:28

Is it good players? Yeah. Yeah, there's some decent players in there. Hang on. Are they retired players?

8:28 - 8:42

Yes, they're retired. Yeah, they're retired years ago. Yeah. Although I did hear from a professional athlete that the testing they do doesn't look at mushroom type stuff.

8:42 - 8:52

So sometimes I did hear this from a professional athlete that they... Seamus. Seamus. It was not Seamus the wrestler who lives around the corner.

8:53 - 9:04

No. They take mushroom, magic mushrooms, or low dose of magic mushrooms, rather than drink pints or whatever after a win, which strikes me as a curious thing to do.

9:04 - 9:08

It's a different vibe, isn't it? After a win, someone says, should I get a jug in?

9:08 - 9:13

I said, should I just get a pack of buttons? Should I just micro dose here?

9:15 - 9:26

I mean, you wonder how different their careers to somebody like George Best or Bobby Charlton would have been if they were taking psychosilbin mushrooms instead of tanning pints of ale.

9:28 - 9:41

Like, I think George used to sometimes have a drink at halftime and stuff. If he just came out off his chops for the second half, then just trying some really interesting new...

9:41 - 9:48

Experimental ego collapsed kicks. I would like to see George Best with a collapse of ego.

9:48 - 9:55

Do you know what I mean? If he was just all of a sudden was very contemplative and at one with the universe, I think that would be...

9:55 - 10:01

I would have been a terrific role model for a lot of English people. We haven't yet established a time.

10:02 - 10:07

Are you ashamed? Is it 1pm? Are we looking at our latest? No. I have been a 1-er.

10:08 - 10:15

You know, I have been a noon or 2-er even sometimes. I was nocturnal briefly when I was a younger man.

10:15 - 10:21

I was incredibly nocturnal. I'd be going to sleep as the sun came up when the birds were singing.

10:21 - 10:24

And then I would be sleeping all morning. And I'd be waking up in the afternoon.

10:25 - 10:32

Now, the issue for me is, and one of my many issues, is that I live in Glasgow and it's December.

10:33 - 10:39

So if you're not waking up till 1, you're missing the sunlight, brother. You know, you're waking up in dusk.

10:39 - 10:49

So I have been waking up. Yesterday I woke up with an alarm, alarm-assisted, and vanergen, which is a kind of anti-histamine that leaves you groggy.

10:49 - 10:56

I take that before I go to sleep. And then I use an alarm to wake up at 11 because I had an appointment at 1.

10:57 - 11:04

This is amazing. On the vanergen I hear is what some people like ram into their young kids before long flights.

11:04 - 11:12

Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Apparently it's sort of got like, for 9 in 10 children, it sends them to sleep.

11:12 - 11:20

And for 1 in 10, it makes them go completely insane. And you're like, well, I don't want to test this on the flight because you could be 1 in 10.

11:21 - 11:27

But also, I don't want to test this just on a Tuesday. Like, so you never get around to testing it and then the flight's there.

11:27 - 11:35

I'm yet to have given Ian and Willie full for Nergen. So when the alarm goes off at 11, are you dead to the world when this alarm wakes you up?

11:35 - 11:41

Is that what that's done? I mean, yeah. I've always been a kind of slow waker because I'm now taking, I'm one of the 9 in 10.

11:42 - 11:52

It's like when you go, when you see people who are on holiday in Thailand or something and they've got their arm around a tiger and you're like, that tiger is deeply tranquilized, brother.

11:54 - 12:00

So that tiger is psycrosilvin George Best right now, man. So I've been taking that.

12:01 - 12:04

And then I wake up and I, yeah, I'm pretty groggy, pretty out of it.

12:04 - 12:09

I need to get rid of this. I sleep with my phone right next to my head.

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And then first thing I wake up, I'm on the phone. What's my notification? It's terrible.

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I need to rid myself from this because it's like a deep curse. True, but it is 11 a.m.

12:21 - 12:27

It's not like I wake up at five and I go, like, by 11, like the rest of the world is ticking, right?

12:27 - 12:29

Like you probably should check your number. I think it's the right thing to do.

12:30 - 12:40

Right. I didn't know this was a roast podcast. There's no judgment here. This is the New York Frasers Club right now.

12:40 - 12:45

What's going on here? Jackie Mason's going to join this Zoom call and I'm going to be absolutely right.

12:46 - 12:57

You stupid four eyes asshole. You sleepy fuck. Do you worry that you could shit your pants on that stuff?

12:58 - 13:07

On Finergan? The one and only time I ever took something on a flight. I had Solpadol left over, which is really just strong Solpadine.

13:07 - 13:16

But I kept waking up every 10 minutes and just putting a hand on my bum and then just raising it to my face and dozing off again.

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Because someone somewhere is dead. Make sure you don't shit yourself on the flight. And that became my absolute.

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It was a bad trip, man. It was a bad. No, it's a great lesson for anyone on a flight, isn't it really?

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I mean, it almost should be part of the safety announcement, really. There should be that button where you press it and the shield comes to help you.

13:43 - 13:49

There should be another one next to it. It's just like, I've shamed myself. Someone comes over and goes, I'm so sorry.

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And then walks away. I do say, if you've shat yourself and so has your child, please clean yourself up first before turning to others.

13:58 - 14:04

Right, so it's 11 o'clock. You're groggy, but you're in control of your bowels. This is as far as we've got.

14:05 - 14:13

How many notifications have you got, Chris Ruth? Great question. I guess the issue was, and this sounds like I'm plugging stuff.

14:13 - 14:17

I'm not plugging anything. It's just yesterday was already. I can if you want. I can if I want.

14:17 - 14:30

I don't want to, but I'm going to have to if I'm going to accurately depict my yesterday, which, as we are all aware, I did not know was going to be contested and roasted and interrogated,

14:30 - 14:35

which I'm up for. I know that's the experiment we're doing here today. There wasn't too many.

14:35 - 14:40

There was a lot today because of what happened yesterday. Oh, here we go. Here we go.

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This is exciting now. Things happened last night, which meant that I woke up to 100 new followers.

14:48 - 14:57

Whoa! 100. Okay. And this is known as foreshadowing. Or clickbait. Or clickbait. Because we get to the end and it's nothing whatsoever.

14:58 - 15:08

Then I bought 100 followers. Good night. So I just kind of rolled about, and then I had to do some admin in bed because I was looking at my emails and stuff.

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And I'm just the type of person where if I get an email and I don't respond to it right away, it's never going to be responded to unless that person chases me up.

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So I woke up. I was in bed. I was in my boxers. I was doing admin.

15:21 - 15:29

My agent phones me just to say, hey, remember this thing you're doing today? My special got re-released yesterday.

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I released a special in May. Yeah. And then it got re-released on 800 pounds Gorilla because it was a kind of record label, comedy record label in America.

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Very hip. Very trendy. So I had to prepare for that. That was going to be at 3 p.m.

15:46 - 15:57

Right. And this was 10 past 11 and I'm in bed. But I've got one of these brains where if I have something to do later on, I can't do anything until that happens.

15:58 - 16:07

Okay. I can't do more stuff. I'm in stasis. I'm frozen like a caveman. I'm a mosquito trapped in amber until the appointment.

16:08 - 16:19

Has the stuff on the special dated horribly? You know, are you like, I might move to Greenland because nothing, there's no danger in we Greenland.

16:19 - 16:29

Sleepy Joe Biden is great president. Is it that sort of a thing? Yeah. You know, I do my pro Sleepy Joe Biden material right at the top of the set.

16:29 - 16:34

We were kicking a bell fist together. It was largely Greenland, the safest place to live material.

16:35 - 16:40

Yeah. I don't understand this reference. What's happened in Greenland? Trump keeps threatening to take over Greenland.

16:41 - 16:47

Oh, that's right. No. Quas of the paths. Although for the tape, he's doing a bit more in Venezuela at the moment, I think.

16:47 - 16:53

Yeah. For those that come to this podcast for news, that's the latest. More as I get it.

16:53 - 17:00

Okay. Coming to this podcast for news would be like going to Calvin and Hobbes for innovations in tech or whatever.

17:02 - 17:09

What's new? Oh, there's a cordless telephones are available now. This is great. Yeah. Venezuela would have been better.

17:10 - 17:17

Venezuela. There's no Venezuelan material, sadly. If we could have our lives over again, I would have said your material.

17:17 - 17:21

That's such a beautiful thing, David. Don't think on it. We have a podcast to do.

17:21 - 17:36

It is. It is 13 months ago I recorded it. So now it's like, I mean, there's some stuff I was, because the thing was at 3pm, what I was going to have to do was go on YouTube and sit in a chat room while people watched

17:36 - 17:43

my thing and chat away with people. God. That was quite, what was that noise, David?

17:45 - 17:55

Oh, wow. Well, you know, people have strong opinions about our work. Yeah. And you don't necessarily always have to know what all of those opinions are.

17:55 - 18:04

But again, we're foreshadowing. That's foreshadowing. You're just in your boxers. The curious detail you've left in, this obviously ties into something now.

18:05 - 18:08

Well, at this point I go, I need to get up. I need to get out of bed.

18:09 - 18:21

I need to get off my phone. There's a thing I do, and I don't want to sound as if I've just invented this, but what I do is I wake up, I go to my coffee machine, which is a Brevo mini barista.

18:22 - 18:26

Interesting. My mum got me this for Christmas, either last year or the year before that.

18:26 - 18:32

I believe last year. They're 1,200 quid. Are they? Are they? A mini barista. Let's do this.

18:32 - 18:36

Let's get a John Lewis on the go. Let's see how much my mum loves me in monetary value.

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You can get one for 300 quid. 200 quid I'm seeing here on Amazon, not that I endorse Amazon.

18:42 - 18:48

Actually, cheaper on Courage than Amazon, so take that, Jeff Bezos, you bald fuck. You evil bastard.

18:48 - 18:58

Still a good present. A great present. And I'm, you know, I like to see myself as a fancy Dan who understands, you know, coffee terminology and lingo and stuff.

18:58 - 19:04

But at the end of the day, I just, as long as it's hot and brown, actually, you need more than that.

19:04 - 19:09

It has to be coffee. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I, that was my fear on the flight, to be honest.

19:10 - 19:18

Oh, my gut's turning into a bit of a Bravo mini barista right now. So you put your phone away and this is, we're really focusing on the coffee.

19:18 - 19:23

I go. I make an espresso. So this is having a coffee. You've invented morning coffee.

19:23 - 19:29

Yeah. Well, mid afternoon. So we can. Deborah Meaden is interested. Touker Suleyman is concerned.

19:31 - 19:47

What was the Scottish guy called? Duncan Bannantyne? Duncan Bannantyne. Yeah. He was awesome. I went to Clydebank library once to film a short film with a friend and they have all the famous Clydebankians on the wall, which is basically just this town just outside of

19:47 - 19:56

Scotland that was heavily bombed during the Blitz and kind of never quite recovered. And one of the only famous, well, there's like Kevin Bridges and Duncan Bannantyne.

19:56 - 20:00

I'm not sure Marty Pello was born in a toilet in Clydebank. And Clydebank was it really?

20:00 - 20:06

Have I made that up? I washed his hair once. Did you wash Marty Pello's hair?

20:06 - 20:13

I washed Marty Pello's hair once. How? That's a lot of work or not a lot of work, depending on what era you get Pello.

20:13 - 20:19

I'll tell you that day. Am I allowed to talk about that day? Not really, but you know, there is a Marty Pello hair washing.

20:20 - 20:26

Anecdotal. Yeah. If you have that, yeah. I was working in my dad's hairdressers late one afternoon.

20:27 - 20:31

A massive built guy comes in. I'm on the desk. My dad's cutting someone's hair.

20:31 - 20:41

I'm receptionising. And a bodyguard comes in, like a big hulking figure. And he goes, is there a space for Marty Pello today?

20:46 - 20:53

And all the stylists, two kind of women in the late 20s, 30s, early 40s, they're like, what?

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Yeah, of course we'll get him in. And he goes, he wants this guy. He points at my dad.

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He's got a heavy day, but he goes, we'll squeeze him in. I don't know if he's ever met.

21:03 - 21:07

I don't think he'd ever met Marty before, but you know, it's good for the business.

21:08 - 21:13

And then he came in and everybody, this is the perks of being the bossy son.

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You know, I said. But it's worst. I'm a nepo baby. What can I say?

21:17 - 21:21

It's helped me get ahead. Did you chat away or did you just, was it all in silence?

21:21 - 21:33

Well, I kind of at the time, this was kind of how I developed my small talk skills, which are pretty, pretty basic, but I was washing old ladies' hairs quite a lot if Marty Pello wasn't available.

21:34 - 21:42

Yeah. What he came in and I gave him the, just two shampoos and the conditioner goes on and it's a shiatsu head massage.

21:42 - 21:47

You know, it's the thumbs going up the occipital bone onto the scalp and round.

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And it's very kind of hypnotizing and relaxing. And he enjoyed that. We didn't talk much.

21:53 - 21:56

I didn't feel like I had to go into his career. I kind of spoke for itself.

21:56 - 22:01

David, I'm not the comedian here, but I want to say, did he say, I feel it in my fingers?

22:01 - 22:05

I feel it in my toes, but I don't know if it's a good enough joke or not.

22:05 - 22:13

Shall I go with it or just leave it? I was trying to think of the other Wet, Wet, Wet song from before Love Is All Around.

22:14 - 22:20

Did they have another one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they were established. They covered Get By With A Little Help From My Friends.

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Oh, no, I've got it. Marty said, what are you doing? Is this sweet? Little mystery.

22:26 - 22:30

Yes. Yeah, that's a good one. That's what he said. It's a toe tapper. Okay.

22:30 - 22:34

And then he said, so there was not a lot of chat. It was just, it was pretty, it was basic stuff.

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I like to let my hands do the talking when I'm doing this shit. And did you say that to him?

22:39 - 22:52

You should have said that to him. One of the first things at times I ever laughed at something somebody said was when me and my cousin Daniel went to the pictures together and he sang a parody of Love Is All

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Around, which was, I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my nose.

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I pick my nose and flick it, but I don't know where it goes. And I thought he came up with it.

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And I was just howling at the cinema. The idea you could say something so, something so base.

23:09 - 23:16

Yeah. I so vividly remember David O'Neill, a guy who was in my class at the time.

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Like I thought he had invented the genre of rude poetry. He told me, and there are regional variations to this.

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Uncle Dickie had a 10 foot Mickey and he showed it to the girl next door.

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She thought it was a snake. She cut it with a rake and now it's only five foot four.

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Yeah. And I thought he had invented that. You thought he invented limericks. I don't think that's technically a limerick.

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The poetry I'd encountered up until then was more about the wheels on the bus and stuff like this.

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And I was just like, I didn't know the genre could be used for this.

23:53 - 24:02

Talking about Mickey's and Mary's and whatnot. Yeah. It'd be like when sort of political hip hop emerged from what had just been a party scene.

24:02 - 24:06

Yeah. You know. When Public Enemy and the Hit Squad emerged from the East Coast.

24:06 - 24:17

Exactly. And were challenging Reaganism in the 80s with their kind of industrial beats. It was like that, but about hitting a willy with a rake.

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A massive lengthy cock with a rake to shorten it. We are off track because we, of course, this always happens when we get onto Marti Pello.

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It takes us away from yesterday. So what I do is, this is my groundbreaking new move.

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You have a coffee. To get away from my phone, I make an espresso. I put on a house coat.

24:38 - 24:43

What? I suppose you would call it a dressing gown. Oh yeah. A robe. Okay.

24:43 - 24:56

I have a few different robes. Wow. I have a kind of gray one. A kind of gray tartan one, which is, that's like if the other two are unclean.

24:57 - 25:01

Got it. This is my emergency robe. Yeah. If all else fails, I can go.

25:01 - 25:07

I think it's kind of, it's a man-made material. It's not too hot. It's quite, what would you call that?

25:07 - 25:14

What's that kind of fluffy, but fake? It's not cotton. It's a sort of a fake fleece, probably a polyester fleece type.

25:14 - 25:18

Polyester fleece. It's a velour-y type. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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No, no, no, no. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I forgive your robe ignorance. So I've got that.

25:26 - 25:29

That's emergency robe. I don't even know why I brought it up because it wasn't an emergency yesterday.

25:29 - 25:32

What robe are we in? What robe are we in? I had a big breakup last year.

25:32 - 25:44

I was going out with Alassie for eight years. And one of the main issues in the relationship was I wanted to buy a robe off of the internet that was gelato inspired.

25:44 - 26:02

It was a Portuguese. I don't blame her at all. It was a Portuguese, cotton, the terry cloth, lime green and kind of coral pink stripes.

26:02 - 26:07

That's fine. Yeah, I thought it was fine. And she said, if you can't have that, it's going to be too loud.

26:08 - 26:14

Well, too loud for sitting on the sofa. You know, I suppose mornings, robe time is quiet time.

26:14 - 26:21

And this is too busy. This gelato robe. This is the guy who's already got his demure robe with the grey tartan.

26:21 - 26:26

Yeah, it's good to have both, isn't it? It's good to. He's putting the robe on at three in the afternoon as well.

26:26 - 26:33

Most of the time. Yeah. This wasn't going to be a robe day, but it became a robe day and we'll get to that.

26:33 - 26:42

Okay. So that's my second robe. My third robe is when I told my now girlfriend about the gelato inspired robe that I wasn't allowed to have.

26:42 - 26:48

She went on the internet and bought me a straight colourful robe. The wrong colours.

26:48 - 26:55

It was red, white and blue, which is a bit staunch for me as a Glaswegian who doesn't prescribe to that particular ideology.

26:56 - 27:06

I do really like it. And it is of a higher quality than the gelato one, which is maybe it says handmade in Portugal, but to me it has a touch of the drop ship to it.

27:06 - 27:13

It's got a slightly ratty dangling threads coming out the stitch work, but I don't mind.

27:13 - 27:21

I love it. So that's my three robes. How many robes do you have? I mean, Australia is not a place where, I mean, I'm calling them robes now.

27:21 - 27:26

They're dressing gowns. House coat. I call it a house coat. It's definitely not a house coat, is it?

27:26 - 27:37

I am, I'm not a dressing gown guy, but when, when I arrived in Australia to host the Champions League for Stan Sport, we arrived in quarantine because it was COVID times.

27:38 - 27:44

So me and Jamie arrive in this hotel. They delivered like so much stuff as if I was someone really important.

27:44 - 27:52

Like they thought I was, I mean, clearly three years later when they didn't renew my deal, clearly they didn't, I was that important then, which is why this podcast began.

27:52 - 28:00

But yeah, at the time there were like fruit platters and all sorts. And there were, was his and hers Stan Sport robes.

28:00 - 28:06

I don't know where they are now because I find them just too, even in winter in the UK, I would find them too hot and stuffy.

28:06 - 28:13

They get in the way. Much more tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. I don't own a pair of tracksuit bottoms.

28:13 - 28:20

That's interesting. Yeah. You're looking at a guy who's worn a robe already today. Yeah.

28:21 - 28:27

I put it on to go for a wee and then I didn't remember about the Christmas decorations.

28:27 - 28:36

So I came down in it. So I was not sleepy enough to put it on, but then sleepy enough to not remember that there were hundreds of small flashing lights.

28:37 - 28:41

And I came down and my immediate thought was that I'd left the lights on on my bike.

28:41 - 28:46

So there you go. Wow. I'd never get dressed to go for a wee in the night to then undress.

28:46 - 28:56

Because you live in a tropical paradise. That's why still, even in the dark days of Old Street, I would brave going downstairs to the toilet in just in my pants.

28:56 - 29:04

I live in a huge stately home. I light a single candle and put a big long hat on.

29:05 - 29:11

I wear those things they put around people who've been rescued on mountains. The kind of hydro foil.

29:11 - 29:16

Yeah. I wear one of them when I go to take a shite in the middle of the night.

29:17 - 29:22

Have a fruit loaf just to keep the energy up. And some Kendall mint cake.

29:22 - 29:30

Okay. So we've got a robe. Which robe are we in today? I'll inspire, which I just forgot to mention, is actually monogrammed on the chest.

29:30 - 29:35

It says CMP. And I've done that myself. And it was an extra 20 pounds. Okay.

29:35 - 29:39

And it was worth it. Yeah, good. So I'm wearing my monogrammed robe. Like a boxer.

29:40 - 29:47

Yeah. Look, I'm like a journalist, a dog with a bone here. But your good lady got you that.

29:47 - 29:53

Oh, she got me the red and white striped one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you brought it to be monogrammed after that?

29:53 - 30:00

That was a different one. So I've got both of them. So I have the one I wanted and I have the one she thought I wanted that I did not.

30:00 - 30:04

But I do like now and actually consider it to be higher quality than the one I wanted.

30:04 - 30:16

You've got four dressing gowns. No, three. Grey gelato girlfriend. Okay. Got it. So I'm wearing gelato.

30:17 - 30:22

You're in gelato. And what I do is I sit in my room away from my phone.

30:22 - 30:28

Having done admin. This is every day I can, I do this. I have my espresso, which I have in a little.

30:28 - 30:33

My girlfriend got me these for Christmas last year. They're kind of his and hers.

30:34 - 30:42

Mr. Men espresso cups. So we've got Mr. Bump and Mr. Funny. Today I went for Mr. Bump.

30:42 - 30:46

Yesterday it was Mr. Funny. Mr. Bump is one of the best. He's a classic.

30:46 - 30:55

Who's the least interesting one? Mr. Tickle's nice. No, Mr. Tickle actually is incredibly sinister and would be arrested within minutes.

30:55 - 30:59

He's basically touching people who don't want to be touched. Mr. Cool is really great.

31:00 - 31:14

Mr. Cool. He's so cool. Yeah. No, the best one is Mr. Dizzy because he sort of brings a fresh, odd comedy to the series.

31:14 - 31:18

To people who don't know. He's the Lee Evans. He's the Lee Evans of Mr. Men.

31:18 - 31:23

Yeah. But it turns out he's just taken an edible before the start of the episode.

31:24 - 31:29

Although, to be honest, if you're called Mr. Bump, it does imply that you've taken some cocaine.

31:29 - 31:35

Yep. To people who don't know, there's a series of 50 or so. Oh, come on, David.

31:35 - 31:43

Everyone knows the Mr. Men. Who doesn't know? Hang on. Did you see the reaction to the end of our quiz?

31:44 - 31:50

What were you doing when the quiz ended, Max? There's like a woman who's driving along the interstate in Tampa.

31:50 - 31:54

There's no way she knows who the Mr. Men are. She's sitting next to Roger Hargreaves.

31:54 - 32:05

That's what she's doing. It was a beloved series of very small children's books. They predate me and I'm 26.

32:06 - 32:14

So they're old. Happy birthday, David. Happy birthday, David. 50 today. Thank you very much. So Mr. Strong.

32:14 - 32:20

And generally, there is a slight formula to the movie. I don't think they need that much explaining.

32:20 - 32:26

The clue is very much in the title. Mr. Strong keeps pulling the handles off doors and stuff.

32:27 - 32:32

Generally, if you're called Mr. Tall, he goes to live in a place called Small Town.

32:33 - 32:37

You know what I mean? That's a device that Hargreaves is not afraid to use.

32:38 - 32:45

Mr. Snow goes to Fort Ventura or something. I don't know about you, but I had the audio cassettes when I was little.

32:45 - 32:57

And Arthur Lowe reads them. Who's that? Arthur Lowe from Dad's Army. No, that's Bane from Batman.

32:57 - 33:03

And I don't think he doesn't read Batman. No, Arthur Lowe is Captain Manoring. Oh, yeah.

33:03 - 33:10

And so when I'm reading them to young Ian, I turn into Arthur Lowe going, you know, Mr. Happy.

33:10 - 33:17

What a terribly nice man. Mr. Miserable wasn't Mr. Miserable. And I can't help but become Arthur Lowe.

33:17 - 33:27

And what happens if I read so many of them to them, that young Ian grows up in Australia and speaks like Arthur Lowe, like Captain Manor from Dad's Army.

33:27 - 33:42

Sorry, just before we leave this behind, they are all basically superhero tales. Because sometimes in the Mr. Men, they interact with just rego normster society, just people doing normal stuff.

33:42 - 33:50

But imagine if somewhere in your city was a man who was shaped like a cube called, well, you don't know because he's 2D.

33:50 - 34:04

So all we know is he's shaped like a square. Call Mr. Strong. Like you could get him to, you know, if a ferry was speeding towards Dublin Port and was going to destroy the city, we could suspend him on a rope.

34:04 - 34:10

He would give his life to it. But Mr. Strong, once he's done that a lot, he actually just wanted an easy life.

34:10 - 34:18

So he became Marty Pello's bodyguard. And he just goes into hairdressers to see if there's a spot for Marty Pello.

34:18 - 34:25

I think the Mr. Men chat is very fun, but what I'm deeply interested in that is the idea of Bane joining Dad's Army.

34:26 - 34:33

No, I'm interested in... No, Mary Baren's World War II. Who would be more famous?

34:33 - 34:41

Like if Mr. Strong was your bodyguard, you'd have to be really famous. And I'm not sure Pello is famous.

34:41 - 34:47

These days Pello's not cutting the mast, I don't think. Yeah, Mr. Strong's past the test of time.

34:47 - 34:58

Timothy Chalamet needs Mr. Strong at this point. Post Marty Supreme, Chalamet needs Strong. It must be a sad day when you have to let your bodyguard go.

34:59 - 35:04

Do you know what I mean? It's just, I feel no threat anymore walking these streets.

35:06 - 35:11

That's the sign of a good bodyguard. A bodyguard makes you feel as if you don't need a bodyguard.

35:11 - 35:17

You're sitting there, me and Mrs. Russian are sitting there looking at the accounts and we're going, I think Mrs. Podcast has better.

35:18 - 35:26

The bodyguard. Mr. Strong. Alan, have a seat. Come and have a seat. I'm really sorry.

35:26 - 35:32

But then Mr. Strong brings in, like there's other Mr. Men that we don't necessarily know about.

35:32 - 35:44

So there's Mr. Union Workplace Relations comes in. He's incredible at negotiating, basically. I get some massive severance package from you and Mrs. Rush.

35:45 - 35:54

The McLeancher, the Mr. Men universe comes in. So actually I noticed there in the first time in this pod history, you were trying to speed up.

35:55 - 36:01

Chris picked up the blood going. So it's 30 minutes in and we've not finished my coffee yet.

36:02 - 36:07

I mean, not a lot happened yesterday, but it was more than this. Okay, let's get a wriggle on.

36:09 - 36:14

Let's get a wriggle on. We're entering minute seven of the Mr. Men riff. I mean, come on now.

36:15 - 36:21

I like a nice leisurely podcast as much as the next guy, but fucking Charlie Baker is coming back for his work at this time.

36:21 - 36:28

I mean, come on. So what I do is I get out of bed. Yeah.

36:29 - 36:37

I make a coffee with the Bravo Mini Barista in my gelato inspired robe with the Mr. Men Espresso Cup.

36:37 - 36:44

I get it from a place called the Good Coffee Cartel where they get like a little tin, like a paint can of coffee.

36:44 - 36:49

And then you take that back and they refill it and then they don't need to use as much paper and stuff.

36:49 - 36:55

Very nice. I get two tins at a time just for the sake of like, if I get a chance to go back to the Good Coffee Cartel.

36:55 - 37:01

So I'm entering the end of the second tin, but today I'm actually going to go get some more.

37:01 - 37:09

We're not talking about today. We're talking about yesterday. And what I do is I get my espresso that I've made myself and I sit down on my couch in my robe.

37:09 - 37:14

I put a record on and I listen to side A of it every day that I can.

37:14 - 37:26

Wow. I just think that's such a nice way. Having already abused myself by sitting on my phone in bed and my pants for 30, 45 minutes doing admin and just doom scrolling.

37:26 - 37:32

I go, cleanse yourself of this, sit down with a record brother and have a wee moment.

37:32 - 37:38

I just appreciate music and coffee. Is it one of the new vinyl releases of The Rest Is Politics?

37:38 - 37:45

They're bringing them out now weekly for the old school collectors and DJs who just drop it into sets.

37:45 - 37:55

Well, it's, you know, if you're doing a kind of a hard style remix of something, it's quite good to put Rory Stewart in Alistair.

37:55 - 38:00

Okay. Isn't it interesting how we're on different sides, but we have the exact same opinions.

38:00 - 38:08

This is absolutely fantastic. If you just stick that in. I would love to hear the vinyl of the live show they did in the arena.

38:09 - 38:13

Oh, yeah. What must that have been like, man? You know. They could have brought the house down.

38:14 - 38:20

I'd say it's a four vinyl. It's got a gatefold on the front of it as well.

38:20 - 38:26

I had one of those and it was a Frank Sinatra collection and it was a nine vinyl folder thing.

38:26 - 38:36

And that would be just the only way you could really tastefully pay tribute to the rest of the politics universe is if you had the nine record, 18 sides.

38:36 - 38:44

What do you put on? What is this? Now 17. It's now 17. I just like it mainstream, you know?

38:45 - 38:53

So this is something I got. I'm trying to de- not decolonize, but I'm trying to de-algorith- How do you get away?

38:53 - 38:56

What's that word? To get away from the algorithm? Yeah, I know you may exist.

38:57 - 39:04

But yeah. I'm trying to de-algorithmize my music listening. Get away from Spotify. I'm not on Cobas yet, which is what everybody's talking about.

39:05 - 39:12

What's that? A new cool music app? That's like a kind of ethical Spotify that people are talking about.

39:12 - 39:23

I mean, it'll be consumed by the gaping maw of capitalism eventually. But as for right now, it's a kind of high quality, fair, curated thing.

39:23 - 39:30

So the music on it is curated for you instead of like an algorithm deciding what you should be listening to.

39:30 - 39:44

But I do another curating. I go on Bandcamp and they have things called like December Jazz Essentials and it'll be five jazz records from this month that you should be checking out or, you know, July Punk Essentials

39:44 - 39:50

and it'll be a wee punk band for Ireland and Australia and you can just check out five things that we recommend.

39:50 - 39:55

This is one I got this year. It's a jazz record. It's called Tracy's by Cosmic Year.

39:55 - 40:03

It's these five Swedish old men. They're all in their 80s. Yeah. And they were obsessed with this guy.

40:03 - 40:10

What was the guy's name? It was like Ornette Coldman Sideman. Don Cherry. Don Cherry.

40:10 - 40:19

Yeah. He moved to Sweden very briefly in like the 70s. And then this is like five guys who hung out with him paying tribute to him in their 80s.

40:20 - 40:26

Wow. Swedish tribute to Don Cherry in 2025. These old men. So I stick that up.

40:26 - 40:30

My dad is a jazz musician. He would know them. He would have had deals with them.

40:30 - 40:35

Don Cherry, whose daughter was Naina Cherry. Buffalo Stan. Is that right? There you go.

40:35 - 40:42

Yeah. The cherries are related. Yeah. And her brother was Eagle Eye Cherry. Stay. Save tonight.

40:42 - 40:49

Tomorrow I'll be gone. Yeah. Uncle was Trevor Cherry, who played for Leeds in the 70s.

40:51 - 40:59

Just for the tape. Now 17 has some absolute bangers. What's on that? Blue Savannah Erasure kicks off.

40:59 - 41:05

Rebel MC Better World. Opposites Attract. Paula Abdul. Dub Be Good To Me by Beats International.

41:06 - 41:12

This is pretty good stuff. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Opposites Attract is Paula Abdul featuring... The Wild Pair.

41:12 - 41:20

I think it's called Cool Cat with two Ks. Is that right? In the video, there is a cat that does a rap in the video.

41:21 - 41:29

And The Onion once said the least essential album of all time was 10 years after Opposites Attract.

41:29 - 41:37

Cool Cat came out with his own LP. And it's one of the least purchased albums in the history of music.

41:38 - 41:44

But now it's a bad rap. This is how it feels in spiral carpets. This beat is Technotronic.

41:44 - 41:52

Real, real, real Jesus Jones. Loaded, primal screen. Oh, I'm going to go and I'm going to find that on an unethical music platform as soon as this podcast is done.

41:52 - 42:00

This is the thing. I mean, at the time, people would have said, oh, now 17, you know, this leads to homogenization and taste and everybody knows the same stuff.

42:01 - 42:07

And, you know, it's pop music and stuff. But now you look back and you go, wow, someone sat and decided the track listing.

42:07 - 42:14

And then, well, obviously it was a record label decision probably. But I've sat around and said, what should we put on this kind of playlist?

42:14 - 42:26

But that's better than what we've got just now. Yeah. It's like when you watch, sometimes they show full old episodes of Top of the Pops in the 80s when my dad would have been rolling his eyes and going,

42:26 - 42:39

the game's gone. And they are all absolute, it's like Bronski beat. And there'll be at least five songs that you remember every single word of because they're classic.

42:39 - 42:45

You know, Vienna by whatever, Ultravox or what? Yeah. I remember watching Top of the Pops with my granddad.

42:46 - 42:55

And it was the cartoons, Witch Doctor song. It was like, ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ding, dang, walla, walla, bing, bang.

42:56 - 43:03

And I just remember my granddad looking at me with this, look in his eyes like, I don't, is this, what's happened to the world?

43:05 - 43:14

What'll happen to all of us? Is this serious? Is this serious? And it wasn't, but you know, he didn't, he didn't have the cultural note, he understands it.

43:14 - 43:19

Do you listen to the whole side of the record, sipping on your espresso? I usually, and then I need to crack on with my day.

43:19 - 43:24

Okay. So how long does that take? It's just like 25 minutes into it. 25 minutes. That is lovely.

43:24 - 43:30

I don't have any, I was worried about today. So here's what the plan was supposed to be.

43:30 - 43:41

I have to be on YouTube at three for this special release, but I need to meet my friend Roscoe at one at, a wee pub around the corner to try and write a sitcom.

43:41 - 43:49

Now, Roscoe, we're writing a wee sitcom together at our treatment stage, which is very nice, but we're just kind of putting together episodes, guide guides and character guides and things like that.

43:49 - 44:03

But he messaged me to say he couldn't make it today because his dog who has dementia, which I didn't know dogs could get, the dog has some memory issues and mental issues,

44:03 - 44:11

but the dog's teeth, his gums are very swollen. So he's going to have to take his dog to the vet because his gums are swollen.

44:11 - 44:17

And I said, that's fair enough. We'll do the sitcom thing another time. But yeah, he had to take his dog to the vet.

44:17 - 44:24

Turns out it's okay. He's going to have to get her teeth removed. And I volunteered to come around and cheer his dog's food for it.

44:24 - 44:29

I think that'd be a nice life. Maybe the sitcom is in that then. You know what I mean?

44:29 - 44:36

A dog with dementia. A dog that can recount the starting 11 for Blackpool in the 1953 Cup Final.

44:36 - 44:39

I just can't remember what I had for dinner yesterday. Is that what you're saying?

44:40 - 44:46

It's the sitcom. Yeah, it hasn't been done. It hasn't been done yet. Channel 4, you listening?

44:47 - 44:55

Yeah. Slightly bleak old sitcom, to be honest. It's like Courage the Cowardly Dog, but it's Courage the Forgetful Dog.

44:56 - 44:59

A lovely dog, Katie. Shout out to Katie. I hope she feels better in the near future.

45:00 - 45:04

But he had some dog health issues. He couldn't do that. And then it's just three.

45:04 - 45:11

I need to do this thing at three. It's like nearly 12. Yep. And... You're still in the robe.

45:11 - 45:18

Again, I just have this thing where if I've got something planned for later on, I can't do anything until it happens because I'm just on this one-track mind.

45:19 - 45:25

So instead, I was still in my robe, and I stuck a video game on.

45:25 - 45:29

Again, I did not know I was going to be doing this podcast at the time where I would have went out.

45:29 - 45:32

Here's what I normally do at this kind of time in the year. Oh, here we go.

45:33 - 45:37

It's really great. I go to the local dance academy, and I just do whatever class.

45:37 - 45:43

That's what I do. Sometimes it's modern. Sometimes it's tap. I just let my body...

45:43 - 45:52

I let my hands do the talking, you know, as I always say. No. Normally what I do is there's a river near me called the Kelvin, and what I do is I go walk along it.

45:52 - 45:58

I try and find some herons, have a wee look at them, see the ladybird infestation.

45:59 - 46:16

But yesterday, it was Call of Duty 100, Black Ops Down, from midday till 9pm. It was Pillars of Eternity 2, colon, dead fire, which is a sea RPG.

46:17 - 46:28

You are known as the Watcher. You are able to speak to the dead, and you have relationships with the gods of this universe, the goddess of death, the pallid knight.

46:28 - 46:36

And there's also Ondra, the god of the sea, who is a many-breasted, anglerfish-headed sea goblin.

46:37 - 46:44

And basically, one of the old gods has been asleep in Colossus beneath the ground.

46:44 - 46:52

He wakes up a luminous stone man. Fuck. His head was your castle, but now the rest of the bodies came out.

46:52 - 47:03

You die. The gods bring you back to life to deal with this. And then this giant glowing green colossus is running across the world, leaving chaos in his wake.

47:03 - 47:12

And you and a motley crew of pirates have to sail across the seas to prevent him from basically causing Armageddon.

47:12 - 47:25

So I did that for about three hours. So they're all coming down at you in rows, and you have to hide behind a little protective shield, and then you move out and shoot a few in a line.

47:26 - 47:33

You're in a maze. You're like a little three quarters of a pizza. You're running around collecting dots and ghosts are chasing you.

47:33 - 47:39

So is this like you're running around, this sort of golden eye vibe, right? No, it's not a first person.

47:39 - 47:43

It's not a first person. It's more like a Dungeons and Dragons campaign or something.

47:43 - 47:47

You're looking down from a kind of bird's eye view, and you've got your little crew.

47:47 - 47:52

So I've got Ida. He's a kind of pirate fellow who was in the army.

47:52 - 47:57

I've got Maya, who's a spy. So you're moving one of them around? Yeah, you're moving all of them.

47:57 - 48:02

And then it's turn-based. Oh, okay. So are there other people in the world, the other characters?

48:03 - 48:08

Are you playing with people in America? Oh, no, no, no, no, single player. I don't like multiplayer stuff.

48:08 - 48:19

I don't play games to meet people. Right. I play games because the world is a terrifying place that I've got no interest in whatsoever, and I have to retreat, and in my mind,

48:19 - 48:28

cocoon to get away from them. It's not like Secret of Monkey Island, where you walk up and you have like three options to say, you know, you see the shopkeeper and you say,

48:29 - 48:34

where is the gold ring? And then you get through to the next bit, and it says, insert disc seven.

48:34 - 48:40

Is it like that? Is it like that? It's much more like that than it is like Space Invaders.

48:40 - 48:47

I had Populous 2, where you would like, you know, you could build like your own, or Megalomania, where you build your own armies.

48:48 - 48:54

Oh, it's not quite a sim like that. It's more like you can build up your ship and do pirate battles at sea and things like that.

48:54 - 49:01

So I've been playing that. It's a deeply unpopular game from 10 years ago. Okay. That I don't know why I'm playing it.

49:01 - 49:08

What was the game where, I think you were trying to build a town, and it would be like, more sheep.

49:08 - 49:17

We need more sheep. SimCity. No, no, no, no. It wasn't called World of Warcraft, but it was like you started with- Civilization?

49:18 - 49:26

Was it civilization? It might have been civilization. You started with the field, and then you got the elements that built a city around it and stockades.

49:27 - 49:38

Basically, that's all I'm imagining it is. I'm sorry. In SimCity, when your city got big enough, you'd have a helicopter, and the Helen Copter person would go, Brazl are reporting heavy traffic,

49:39 - 49:44

and there would be heavy traffic somewhere, and you'd have to go and fix the heavy traffic.

49:44 - 49:53

Yeah. SimCity is incredible. I mean, all the Sims game, but the Sims were, you're in charge of the wee house, and you're putting people in a swimming pool, and then you're deleting the stairs,

49:53 - 50:05

and then they get tired. Do you think there's any chance that this house that I'm trying to sell at the moment is the head of a giant colossus that lives underground?

50:05 - 50:08

You know what I mean? For your sake and for Dublin's sake, I hope not.

50:08 - 50:17

I should put that in the estate agent blurb. Warning. House may be the head of a sleeping colossus.

50:17 - 50:26

A fantastic suite of white appliances, and the 11 room is the nostril of the sleeping colossus.

50:27 - 50:33

How far do you get during your three-hour game? Is it a game where you save and you pick it up later, so you're sort of into the next world?

50:33 - 50:44

Do you know what happened? I got to a certain point, and there's a group called the Animancers, who are experimenting with, like, using the world of the dead for, like,

50:45 - 50:56

scientific reasons, and they're trying to figure out teleportation by using the beyond, like, what's it called in Irish mythology, David, like, Ternagog?

50:57 - 51:02

Well, Ternagog is where the young people come from. Hi, Brazil. It's got a few names.

51:02 - 51:10

They're trying to send you through the mythical other land as a kind of zip thing, but the issue is there's a lot of stuff back there you should not be dealing with.

51:11 - 51:20

So I ended up with another god of death, rim ground. I ended up in his realm, and I was a bit cheeky with him, and he killed me and all my friends.

51:20 - 51:24

It was like, I had to go back, like, 20 minutes, and I thought, fuck this, man.

51:25 - 51:34

Question. Yeah. You've had an espresso, but I feel like it would be good if you had some sustenance before the big 3 p.m. release.

51:35 - 51:43

So I was worried that this would come up. So the night before, and I know we're not supposed to speak about the night before we're supposed to speak about yesterday, but it is relevant.

51:43 - 51:55

The night before, it got to half 10 at night, and in a moment of weakness, and a lack of options, I ordered a Pizza Hut.

51:55 - 52:09

Yes. Stuffed crust? No. Stuffed crust. No. Actually, it's a new type of thing that Pizza Hut offers, and this is not Spon Con, but I ordered something called the Pizza Hut Crafted Flats,

52:09 - 52:14

with two Zs. Oh, okay. This is a new range that Pizza Hut offers. Yeah.

52:15 - 52:22

This makes me worried to tell people about this. Can I tell you the copy for the Pizza Hut Crafted Flats?

52:22 - 52:35

Oh, yes. Pizza Hut Crafted Flats are new, oval-shaped, personal flatbread pizzas featuring premium toppings, designed as a value-focused me-time meal for solo diners.

52:39 - 52:47

Oh, no. Oh, no. Included with each flat with two Zs is a little saucer you can cry into.

52:48 - 52:56

It comes with a stool and a rope. It's absolutely one of the saddest meals I've ever had in my life.

52:56 - 53:03

A special little oval pizza just for me, and there was some leftovers. Now, I thought, I've got this.

53:05 - 53:13

I've got this YouTube Premiere 3. It's one. Maybe it's half two. There's not enough time to go and get something.

53:13 - 53:25

There's nothing in the fridge. There's nothing in the freezer. There's cold leftover crusts, wedges, and the sauce had been left out overnight, so this dipping sauce had accumulated a skin.

53:25 - 53:35

Now, this is high-performance podcast. I think if I told Stephen Bartlett about this, he would commit suicide straight away.

53:35 - 53:45

He wouldn't want to be on the same planet as well. Yeah, you've just been killed by the giant god of Argon, and you open the fridge to a small half-oval flat.

53:46 - 53:54

This wasn't in the fridge. This was just left out overnight. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, it had, like, the crusts had hardened into shards.

53:54 - 54:15

The sauce was inedible. The toppings were still premium. I'll say that. What I'm going to say, and again, this is not an advice podcast, but if it's the YouTube launch of your re-release special with the hipster release organization,

54:15 - 54:23

don't be sitting in a gelato-colored dressing gown eating pizza. Leftover pizza from the night before.

54:23 - 54:30

At three in the afternoon. But is that the aesthetic that you go for for the night of nights for your special?

54:30 - 54:52

I'm trying so hard to be a functional person, and it's just not happening. In December in Glasgow, you know, you need to really put your best foot forward to cope with, like, the grey and the drizzle and just the unrelenting sadness of this city and country

54:52 - 54:58

at this time of year. I mean, my God. I'm in a long-distance relationship. My girlfriend lives in London.

54:58 - 55:03

She's lost her voice, which essentially means I'm alone. Oh, my goodness. And I'm on this special.

55:03 - 55:11

And listen, the special launched initially in, I want to say, March or April. Yeah.

55:11 - 55:15

And it was a very successful launch. I had more views. It was on my friend's podcast.

55:15 - 55:22

But everybody who is a fan of me has seen it already. This re-release. Uh-oh.

55:22 - 55:32

You know, there was... It's bringing in the last committed. The thing is, David, we were like, it couldn't get bleaker after the cold, the cold, shardy pizza.

55:33 - 55:40

The initial release was very successful. I don't know. It was very, you know, I would say it changed my career slightly.

55:40 - 55:43

I sold very well at the Fringe because of it. It's been up for five months, though.

55:43 - 55:48

Anybody who wanted to see it has seen it. I'm not sure why we're doing the re-release.

55:48 - 55:57

Shout out to 800lb Gorilla. Absolutely fantastic company. Please check it out. It was not a very well-attended chat room.

55:57 - 56:07

It was me and eight people. How many of them did you know? It was three.

56:11 - 56:21

So I'm sitting in my pants, pretty much an empty stomach other than this crafted flitz, in my robe, drinking my espresso.

56:21 - 56:35

And like, I was listening to this podcast by Blind Boy later on today and he's talking about shame and he was saying that shame is the feeling of your self-perception not quite matching up with other people's expectations.

56:35 - 56:42

Oh my goodness. Listen, I felt a deep sense of shame when I was sitting there, but I thought, I haven't promoted this very well.

56:43 - 56:49

And I said, I'm trying to get 10,000 steps a day. Okay. You don't have many at the moment.

56:49 - 56:53

You don't have many. I've had about 20. I've been up for about five, six hours.

56:53 - 57:05

I've had 20 steps. I thought, fucking hell, we finished the YouTube premiere. It hit a maximum of 20 viewers, but mostly it was coasting around eight, nine for a long time.

57:06 - 57:10

And it was, it was fine, you know. I mean, all the eight going, this is a grind.

57:10 - 57:15

Like, what are we getting? How does it go down? Very well. It's a great list.

57:15 - 57:21

Oh good, okay. It's a great special. It was a very good bit of stand up.

57:21 - 57:30

You should check it out if you get the chance. The premiere for me was a low point in my life, but the actual thing that I was premiering, I was very proud of.

57:30 - 57:37

People seem to be enjoying it. I made some mistakes on the special. I wore a pair of trousers that did not leave a lot to the imagination.

57:37 - 57:43

So there are issues with it. There's a moment where I wander out of the light for about 20 minutes and I'm kind of in darkness for a while.

57:43 - 57:53

Do you wear skin colored chinos? Or a chino color, like a light beige. It's a light beige, kind of Caucasian type of trouser.

57:53 - 58:07

I've done this. And the problem is if you play a novelty keyboard and someone takes a photo of that, it looks like you're sort of protecting your modesty by playing a piano with your hairless legs just coming out from under it then.

58:07 - 58:18

You're playing a small synth in a sauna. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that was that and I thought, right, I need to get the house and I went on a big massive three,

58:18 - 58:27

four hour long walk. There we go. I need to get the 10k. I need to get the 10k every day just to fight winter.

58:28 - 58:34

If I can't defeat the god of winter in the game, how am I going to defeat the god of winter in real life, man, you know?

58:35 - 58:41

Is it just aimless rambling or are we, do you have a... Normally I walk by the river through the park.

58:41 - 58:56

There's a great park near here called Kelvin Grove and you can go from there through the Kelvin walkway up to the Botanic Gardens and you can loop round underneath the railway bridges and come back along Dumbarton Road which is where my dad's salon was where I shampooed

58:56 - 59:01

Marty Pello. I like to walk past that and think of those days. Come right back around.

59:01 - 59:05

It's a really good walk. I try and do it every day. I'm going to do it after this, I think.

59:05 - 59:10

Are you looking at the number of steps while you're doing it? Every time I get to it.

59:10 - 59:19

I'm bringing it out. I'm trying to have a mindful non-phony walk but every time I get to it I'll whip it out, click on the wee heart that denotes health on my phone and I just check.

59:19 - 59:25

It's been another six steps to get there and I keep on tracking. Do you do this in silence or do you listen to something?

59:26 - 59:32

Podcasts, man. There are millions of them. Some say too many. Some say too many.

59:33 - 59:40

What's the next line in the intro? Here's another one. He says, I've got one already and I say, I've got none.

59:40 - 59:44

Yeah, because there are enough. Yeah, there are enough. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Great intro.

59:44 - 59:49

I love a wee bit of patterning in the intro. It's like a wee inside joke.

59:49 - 59:58

It's great. Have you ever listened to a great Scottish podcast by my pal called Some Laugh and they go, it's not all laugh but it is some laugh.

59:59 - 1:00:04

That makes me laugh so much. So what did you listen to yesterday? What is the podcast in your ears yesterday?

1:00:04 - 1:00:14

It was that blind boy thing about shame that I really needed. Oh, wow. I really like him just whispering limerick wisdom in my ear.

1:00:14 - 1:00:19

Is there a guest or is it just him with his piano music? I hate the guest ones.

1:00:19 - 1:00:24

I hate the guest ones. I don't want to hear you interview Paddy Constantine, blind boy.

1:00:24 - 1:00:30

I don't care about how he got into acting. I don't care about Paddy Constantine's life.

1:00:30 - 1:00:38

No offence, Paddy. You're a lovely guy and you're a great actor but I want to hear somebody just losing it, you know.

1:00:39 - 1:00:44

Okay, so we go up round by Palo, the River Palo, over the Palo Bridge.

1:00:44 - 1:00:55

And at this point, I get a wee text on Instagram from a soon-to-be birthday boy going, hey, would you like to come on my podcast talking about what you did today?

1:00:55 - 1:01:01

and I think, no! I don't! This is a day consigned to the dust when I'm living it.

1:01:03 - 1:01:13

Do you consider doing more interesting stuff or do you consider lying? Do you consider making up a whole first six hours of the day?

1:01:14 - 1:01:25

I wish I could. No, no, it's perfect. It is the first time that someone's been asked to do the podcast while listening to another podcast about shame because of the day that they're currently having.

1:01:26 - 1:01:34

You know, you can't live like this every day. You need to be. I had one thing I was going to do really and then a dog's dementia got in the way.

1:01:34 - 1:01:46

Yeah. And now, you know, I've done the premiere and stuff but, yeah, I just thought, let's just, this will be a learning exercise and maybe I'll get some wisdom for these two guys.

1:01:47 - 1:01:54

You know, I respect your opinions and your points of view and the way you react to the pizza hook.

1:01:54 - 1:02:06

crafted flat made me go, we're never going to be ordering that again. Do you feel that I emotionally manipulated you into doing this by saying it's my 50th birthday tomorrow and I haven't booked anyone to be on our podcast?

1:02:06 - 1:02:12

Do you think that was some leaning on you? I hope that you see this as a gift.

1:02:13 - 1:02:21

Oh, this is, that's why we call it the present. Come on, Chris. I haven't listened to a podcast about shame.

1:02:21 - 1:02:27

I haven't thought about it much. What does Blind Boy say about shame that I should think about?

1:02:28 - 1:02:33

Do you know, I consider you a really, I think it might be just the velvety tones of your voice, Max.

1:02:33 - 1:02:41

Oh, stop it. I consider you a really well put together guy. Yeah. I could just never have the Max Rushden life, you know.

1:02:42 - 1:02:49

It's like, do you know in the Wacky Races you got Peter Perfect? I think it comes down to how simple I am.

1:02:49 - 1:03:00

I'm convinced about this is that I wake up, well, this is certainly before kids where I'm now woken up by them, but I used to just wake up and look at my wife and think I like her,

1:03:00 - 1:03:04

that's nice. And then I think, oh, I know what else I like, peanut butter, and I go and have some.

1:03:04 - 1:03:10

And then the day would take care of itself. Well, that's what I do, but stuff I like is just pathetic.

1:03:11 - 1:03:23

Swedish jazz and spirits, pillars of eternity to dead fire. Come on. I live a simple life but simplicity does not, you know, it's hardly Marie Kondo, is it?

1:03:24 - 1:03:32

I think that's the principle. He just constantly Marie Kondo's everything and just moves from one Marie to the next.

1:03:32 - 1:03:36

What's the next thing? You do the thing. I go, what's the next thing that needs to be done?

1:03:36 - 1:03:40

It's the dishwasher. Just do it. Wow. Yeah. And then I just, what's the next thing?

1:03:40 - 1:03:49

And then I'd write, I constantly write lists of things to do and never ever do them, but then I lose them in the Google Doc and so then I start a new one.

1:03:49 - 1:03:53

And so it's like, I've never done the list of things to do. nice. Yeah.

1:03:53 - 1:04:01

Would you describe yourself as neurodiverse? Don't think so. Yeah. You gotta let down things.

1:04:01 - 1:04:05

You gotta let down things. I really, I really respect that. I need you in my life, man.

1:04:05 - 1:04:13

I describe myself as tired and ever since I got this new camera, we don't put any of this on video, but I'm live on TalkSport on YouTube and all the messages are just,

1:04:14 - 1:04:26

fuck, you look tired, man. that's all they are. Is it, I mean, maybe I need to have a child and that would fix the lack of, you know, I think,

1:04:26 - 1:04:33

who was his name? Milan Condera. Yeah. The unbearable lightness of being, I'm feeling an unbearable lightness.

1:04:33 - 1:04:37

I need some anchor in my life to give it. But you know what? Here's the thing.

1:04:37 - 1:04:42

Here's the thing. Fuck, I'd love a day where I just play computer games and eat pizza.

1:04:43 - 1:05:03

It would have been a lovely twist though if Chris had midway through eons of Sargon 13 search for the destined palace, he'd forgotten that he had to wake up his eight-month-old and his five-year-old and just toddle in then.

1:05:03 - 1:05:10

A little baby in a tiny gelato-inspired room comes in going, I thought school started three hours ago.

1:05:10 - 1:05:17

Ah, nah, eat your pizza. Okay, so we've gone for the walk. We're still on the walk.

1:05:17 - 1:05:25

Do any notable things happen on the walk apart from getting a Instagram message from your old mate Doddles?

1:05:26 - 1:05:40

DoD, eminently 50 approaches via cyberspace asking if I want to have a diary of today put to chiseled into the stone Yeah, that's what this is.

1:05:40 - 1:05:49

podcast RSS feed. Yeah. And I go, do you know what? Maybe at this point I could turn things around for the sake of the podcast but I go, would that be honest?

1:05:50 - 1:05:54

But do you know what? Instead of getting a takeaway delivered, I went, I'm going to go to a supermarket.

1:05:54 - 1:05:58

I'm going to have a dinner. I went to Mark's and Spencer's just before it shut.

1:05:58 - 1:06:06

This was around seven. I've lost a lot of hours to this walk. I've literally been walking the streets aimlessly searching for meaning.

1:06:06 - 1:06:10

I go to Mark's and Spencer's. Do we get to five figures on the steps?

1:06:10 - 1:06:16

Hit 10k. Yes. Round about this time this is 8k and I'm thinking walking home we're going to hit 10.

1:06:17 - 1:06:25

I've had 264 today. Not great. But I will be leaving the house soon. 12,340 yesterday. Good.

1:06:25 - 1:06:34

Not bad. Day before that 12,000. Day before that 16,000 12,000. Saturday was 5,000 because I was gigging in Edinburgh and I was on the train quite a lot of the day.

1:06:34 - 1:06:40

It's sometimes when you just you know day when you had really hungover or there's a day when you have food poisoning and then you do like eight.

1:06:42 - 1:06:59

The eight step day and you're like oh man it's a bad day. Like we are I would imagine this will be put out in a few weeks time we are approaching the shortest day of the year we're mammals like should we just have a little bit of straw

1:06:59 - 1:07:04

put it up our butts and go and sleep in a cave for four months.

1:07:05 - 1:07:10

You know I think I do. I think yesterday was an example of more than human hibernation.

1:07:10 - 1:07:27

I didn't want to say. What do you get at Mark's Spencers? Actually I was going to say I was going to say I think if all long walks to trying to find meaning in life ended in an M&S food hall there would be a lot of happiness

1:07:27 - 1:07:34

around because it's a great place to end up. Like he's such a simple man but he's always right in a way you know.

1:07:36 - 1:07:40

That must be a thing is that something you miss about Britain as much as we do?

1:07:40 - 1:07:46

Oh yeah and my wife you know Jamie and Mrs M&S like yeah the Australian supermarkets they don't cut it.

1:07:47 - 1:08:04

Coals is nice. It's all I mean this podcast is brought to you by Coals but I like that Coals in the international aisle has cans of iron brew unrefrigerated cans of iron brew it's in there with the katsu curry kits and the the miso paste

1:08:04 - 1:08:20

there's a wee can I go thank you I am an international guest in your country A pack of Irish tato for six dollars Yeah Oh yeah it's three quid for a 330ml can Yeah I lived when I was in Melbourne that month there my girlfriend

1:08:20 - 1:08:28

was doing the festival and I was just over as a as a boyfriend I've got a framed picture here of something in Melbourne wee second sorry I know we need to wrap up soon but

1:08:28 - 1:08:42

when I was in Melbourne I went to this donut shop every day shortstop shortstop incredible incredible in the what's it called the business area in the middle the CBD the CBD yeah yeah I was taking some CBD gummies and I was in the CBD

1:08:42 - 1:08:48

and I went to this this donut place every day shortstop donuts in Melbourne and

1:08:51 - 1:09:07

I had to frame it because to me they just exemplified just perfection when you're both over we'll go for a donut oh yeah yes please man the coffee's this incredible Japanese donut shop have you framed a bag from the place I framed a bag from the place man

1:09:07 - 1:09:23

that's great the framing place was puzzled yeah they said if there's any grease or crumbs in the bag then you will have a mouldy picture frame at some point we de-chromified the bag and now it's somewhere well

1:09:23 - 1:09:40

so I'll put that back up so it is bad podcast I wonder if there's any Australians listening who have one bag from what's it called Nysa Nysa like what's the crap late night corner shops of England and Scotland just one of those got to be the key stores

1:09:40 - 1:10:03

pretty rough yeah spa Scott Med Scott Med Scott Med you've put Med in your name brother Budgins spa average talk me through M&S what's happening man I went in with the best intentions I went in let's get some ingredients and make a rustic meal inspired by the

1:10:03 - 1:10:18

Basque region you know something like this wow let's get some fucking ingredients and then tell me you get a pizza tell me you just get a pizza not a pizza surely I looked at the pizzas there was a deal two pizzas two sides

1:10:18 - 1:10:36

I thought that could do me for a few nights yeah you know you go into these places with the best intentions and then just your own nature strangles you and I got three ready meal pasta things oh my god don't start David on a ready

1:10:36 - 1:10:46

even I think a pasta ready meal because I get food in a box sometimes with the ingredients you have to cut up but there's a piece of paper telling you how to cut up an onion oh I used to be see when in my last relationship

1:10:46 - 1:11:02

when I was living with someone I was you know I was hello fresh in it I was gusto in it David looks down on you what's the issue David are you against ready meals yeah I just think buy the actual ingredients like it's so cheap

1:11:02 - 1:11:21

to get a thing of cumin powder even get curry powder you know it's all the idea of having salt in a little envelope delivered by a person to your house they don't bring the salt you need to put your own salt in it to puncture your comedic er

1:11:22 - 1:11:39

no what are the pastas okay carbonara bolognese the chicken one chicken alfredo yep meat feast mmm which was a kind of bolognese type thing with fuseli pasta and spaghetti meat balls okay

1:11:39 - 1:11:46

and on the walk home I went why did you not just get a sauce why did you not just get some you know ingredients so I thought I'm gonna zhuzh up okay

1:11:46 - 1:12:06

my chicken alfredo oh come on what I just I know what's happened here so you go in with the intention of making a rustic basque meal you're gonna buy like some goat and like a fist of coriander and some barbecue coals you know and

1:12:06 - 1:12:22

yeah that's what I wanted to do you reach the point where you're actually you're getting more do you know when you're so tired you can't even get up to make breakfast so you just lie there and you end up ringing for a five guys at like

1:12:22 - 1:12:38

quarter past twelve in the morning or whatever and even the person delivering it asks if everything is okay you have done that except you've walked around and used all of the energy on the eight ten thousand step region that we're in now

1:12:38 - 1:12:57

to the point where you're just like I'm not even coasting on just espresso and cold pizza yeah now it's 7pm if you just had a nana or some chocolate cashews or something like that we would not be in this awful scenario how are you juicing up okay

1:12:57 - 1:13:14

I was pretty proud of this I thought I need to get some greens in me yeah ah now so the way that the chicken alfredo from Mark Suspensers works is you un-peel the thing at the top in the pub where my dad used to drink

1:13:14 - 1:13:34

there was a guy who was a widower don't compare me to this every evening he would go to Tesco and so he'd go for his three pints with just the ready meal sitting on the counter that he would go home to microwave and they had nicknames for everyone

1:13:34 - 1:13:53

and I mean what you need to know for this to work is that Pierce Brosnan Pierce is a name in Ireland so his nickname was Pierce Film because that's step one on all of those Pierce Film and place in a microwave for three and a half minutes

1:13:53 - 1:14:08

oh no shaking once or whatever it is I could see myself becoming a Pierce Film with just a few a few specific tragedies occur in my timeline this is a this is peel back the film so you know this is a peel back stir put in

1:14:08 - 1:14:26

and I go do you know what I'm gonna peel it back I got some frozen peas for the freezer oh wow I stirred it back up in the microwave for four minutes and I did actually put a wee bit of green not fresh vegetables but frozen vegetables question

1:14:26 - 1:14:40

do you decant it to a bowl to at least give the basque feel that's a great he works for the guardian so here are your options decant it from a bowl eat it out of the packet with a fork or do you just like a trough

1:14:40 - 1:14:59

pour it into your mouth pour it like it's a a goju shot or something they get quite hot those and quite sort of flimsy don't know the packets and the condensation from the superheated frozen peas leads to ultra steam yeah okay right

1:14:59 - 1:15:19

you've split the atom in your microwave is what you've done I poured it onto a plate which I think I deserve a little bit of credit for I poured it onto a plate nobody was expecting that I defy expectation yeah have you seen that advert

1:15:19 - 1:15:32

a few years ago it was for a French perfume advert and it was this guy in a kind of see-through perspex prison during a press conference then he just goes like that he stands up yes yes I've loved it for so much so long

1:15:32 - 1:15:43

I'm so glad you brought up I'm not going to be the guy that everyone says or whatever it is I'm not going to be the type of person people expect me to be anymore and then he walks out of the press conference yeah that's how I felt

1:15:43 - 1:15:57

when I put that I started on the plate I've always thought about that but I had no fucking opinion of you before mate so I don't know what were you trying to be he's a big robot don't forget me that guy and I thought

1:15:57 - 1:16:15

I'm not going to be the person people expect me to be anymore and I poured the chicken alfredo with added frozen peas onto a plate and I ate it what the fuck yeah I'm concerned about your water intake you've put no tepid liquids inside yourself all day

1:16:15 - 1:16:28

just that hot shitty shot I had a caravan brew at some point but I forgot to mention okay fine I need to drink more water I have drank some water during this which is quite cool yeah but no I'm not drinking enough water brother

1:16:28 - 1:16:46

at all in the slightest I need to hydrate do you have a bevel with the I mean it's sort of fettuccine alfredo al Christopher MacArthur Boyd because you poured those peas into it yeah I consider that too I felt like I was in an episode of the bear

1:16:46 - 1:17:02

when I put those peas in there you put them in with the you know tweezers and you were just picking the best ones from the package I had a flashback to Joe McHale telling me I was never going to make it just started yelling behind behind corner

1:17:02 - 1:17:17

corner chef corner stressing yourself out shouting to nobody in my empty fuck corner I was talking about the corner of the packet as I pulled back the film oh yeah so I had an eye on brew with that again and I thought it's a bit late

1:17:17 - 1:17:24

for an eye on brew really isn't it but it's must and then I gubbed some more sleeping pills and got ready for bed

1:17:28 - 1:17:41

question I'm worried that people are going to be messaging me going are you okay I'm okay this was just an off day that I didn't think this was going to be a hibernation day this was going to be a mental I'm not burnt out in the slightest

1:17:41 - 1:17:57

but this was going to be whatever you do to repair from burnout I'm sorry but there was in the foreshadowing slash clickbait bit where you said you had so many notifications this morning true I'm waiting for what happened it was just a clip got put out

1:17:57 - 1:18:13

from the special and it went it's like 100 100 000 views which is pretty good for me it's a completely out of context clip that doesn't I don't know why people like it this company's really good they're just picking a wee bit that I would never assume could be clippable

1:18:13 - 1:18:25

and then just people go crazy for it I don't know it happened once with the last time I'd done my last special with them a year ago oh no that was my first special and they put a wee bit of that and it just went crazy people

1:18:25 - 1:18:29

lots of follows and stuff I don't know this is the bit about stop the small boats

1:18:31 - 1:18:45

I never thought that it would catch on in this country but people are really going for it and listen you know the bit about Kelly and me running around with a chainsaw you know it's been absolutely fantastic the bit where you say what you say at school

1:18:45 - 1:19:06

stays at school get off Nigel's case yeah I just think you know reform party oh my goodness a terrible a terrible country to be in just now surely you're not getting notifications for every new view no that would be crazy I turn my notifications off because it's just

1:19:06 - 1:19:21

a horrible way to live your life yeah having a wee buzz every time a stranger gives you validation so I've turned on the notifications for TikTok and Instagram and all these types of things I don't get notifications for them anymore it's just if a friend emails me

1:19:21 - 1:19:39

or says could you come on my podcast tomorrow while you're frankly exhausted walk it's very much the flip side of telling your bodyguard you don't need them anymore is turning off your notifications because that's on the way up you know what I mean but overall you know

1:19:39 - 1:19:55

I thought what a depressing day but in actual fact it was great to release my special and I mean imagine if I had met up with Roscoe and we had had real food and been creative together and his dog didn't have dental issues and yeah

1:19:55 - 1:20:07

I mean it could have been a great day could have been an absolutely fantastic day and I'm quite happy with it in hindsight I don't think it really tells the story of who I am yesterday but it was the story of who I don't want to be

1:20:07 - 1:20:23

and I feel good about getting that noise out there so that I can move on in my life and I can use it as a learning experience I'm pleased nothing happened because they're always the best episodes the best episodes like I'm not trying to comfort you here at

1:20:23 - 1:20:39

all but like we are just what we are we are these days of incredible accomplishment and other days where you know maybe you had some great idea yesterday or maybe you didn't you just had a nice time playing a computer game and

1:20:39 - 1:20:44

then went for a big walk and you know what it's a day closer to the shortest day of the year

1:20:49 - 1:21:02

it's a day closer to death so well done near where I am in Dublin it's outside of Dublin in Meath there is a place called Newgrange which they thought it was just a mound of stones and then

1:21:02 - 1:21:20

it was found in the 60s to be astronomically aligned and then when they opened up the main corridor basically on the shortest day of the year a freaking laser beam hits the back of the chamber this is built in 4500 BC and it only happens on that morning

1:21:21 - 1:21:39

and that is to commemorate we don't know why but I'm pretty sure it's for the same reason as this podcast it's because it's a bleak old time of year and at least the sign of that laser means great we're on the turn and

1:21:39 - 1:21:44

dog days are over they would sing that Florence and the machine song as they dance

1:21:46 - 1:22:05

yeah it means the world is turning once again and that is the powerful essence I think it would be funny if you'd gone to the pub though and the new landlords new Spanish lounge staff guy had sort of tripped with the two drinks and then

1:22:05 - 1:22:29

he turned out was really obsessed with class and he came out about seen as an upstanding basically it's faulty towers except a pub and you just write it all down and it becomes huge faulty towers too faulty towers too even yeah no that's a nice way to

1:22:29 - 1:22:44

look at it isn't it I think do you get to sleep easily you're not doing for no last that was the night before yeah it worked it worked yeah I think I got to sleep what was I doing last night when I went to sleep the bad

1:22:44 - 1:22:51

thing about these sleeping pills is you don't remember the last hour the last 24 hours you don't remember the last 24 hours

1:22:53 - 1:23:08

you wake up quite groggy and you go to sleep and I can haze yeah lovely haze yeah I can highly recommend these pills the blue okay what time did you oh I think it would have been about because I knew I had this so I thought I'll

1:23:08 - 1:23:21

try and get to I'll take the pill at like 11 probably got to sleep for like half one took the blue pill if only that had some other meaning seems quite a long time I'd hour and

1:23:21 - 1:23:38

a half 100% don't we all but I genuinely my whole life if I don't take anything I can be up till four or five so it is better but I've just seen this as like you know evolutionary I have a role to play in the kind of cave community

1:23:38 - 1:23:54

that my ancestors would have been a part of I'm the night watchman I'm a wee easily distracted guy who sits at the edge of the cave and keeps a watch for the wolves and I'll go Max the wolves coming and you would wake up where you're you know

1:23:54 - 1:24:09

your to-do lists and things and you would get rid of the wolf but my job is to just be awake and weird got it that's cool for him my ancestor but I can't live my life like that so I'm using allergy medication that gives you diarrhea to cope

1:24:11 - 1:24:28

with the modern world that I have to be a part of Christopher MacArthur Boyd thank you very much for coming on what did you do yesterday thank you so much I really hope that it was recorded because it needs to be held against me in some kind of

1:24:28 - 1:24:58

human rights court about self abuse stop we're not having that as the ending to Geneva we go to Geneva nobody talks about the human rights that you have for yourself exactly thank you so much have us love thanks bye so that was Christopher MacArthur Boyd's yesterday David and

1:24:58 - 1:25:14

it's a special day for so many reasons I just you know yeah the hours of computer games like there's nothing wrong with that like good for you there was a real I didn't know you didn't tell me I didn't know and

1:25:14 - 1:25:33

the watch along is sensational the whole thing is like an unnecessarily long walk as well that you can get addicted to your steps yeah I do like the fact that he tries to make amends for all of the sitting around and

1:25:33 - 1:25:45

terrible food and computer games because yeah that's a special day we did have the most robe chat that we've had so far it's always good to break new ground I think on this podcast and so

1:25:45 - 1:26:01

we've covered robes and I for one are pleased about that yeah so true thanks to Christopher for doing it if you would like to get in touch with our podcast with us this is and also can we just say he only got eight people for the watch along

1:26:01 - 1:26:26

so right let's everybody listen what gold watches special because it is brilliant and it had already been released but yeah that was a great moment of the day if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast here's how today pod and please subscribe and leave a review

1:26:26 - 1:26:31

if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't

1:26:34 - 1:26:49

thanks David I had a nice time I had a nice time that'll be an interesting one to listen back to I feel in high summer when you go to Glasgow and it's everyone eating 99s in their shorts you'll be like I forgot how bleak this city can be

1:26:49 - 1:27:01

during the depths of winter thank you David I'm in this for life I had to think about it and I'm in it for my whole life okay well I'll join you then

1:27:01 - 1:27:29

thanks mate hi pod fans Max here in my garden in Melbourne just to say that we are doing a live what did you do yesterday on April the 3rd at 4pm at Melbourne Town Hall I think but if you just google what did you do yesterday live show

1:27:29 - 1:27:43

Melbourne me David and a special yet to be announced yet to be worked out guest will be doing an episode so not for broadcast just for a live show so yeah get your tickets come and

1:27:43 - 1:27:43

see us thanks bye

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