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Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? I'm Max Rushden. David O'Doherty is there.
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And this is our annual Christmas story. Is this annual? Yeah, why not? Okay, yeah. From now on, and we're going to do this...
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Forever. Until the end, yes. I have written this story for, you reckon, four-year-olds and up?
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And we can go right up. Yeah, me might be right. Four, five, six-year-olds and up.
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I don't know. It's a week where other podcasts, a lot of them put out best of, whatever.
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We didn't want to do that. We wanted to put out... We're better than that.
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Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah. Thank you so much for doing this with me. I haven't really explained exactly what it is, have I?
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Not really. Happy Christmas. But I'm here for a massive profit share. Every year I write a story for kids that I know, cousins and nephews and nieces.
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And I give it to them so that I don't have to find very specific Lego pieces or learn to play a really boring board game.
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Got it. Okay. This year I was thinking before I printed out and posted out to people, I was thinking I would try it out on you.
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My dad, Jim, plays the piano and he's going to be playing some music during it.
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Oh, lovely. And my brother, Mark, he's very good with words. So he had a look at it and he made it a bit better.
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Right. So he wrote it. He wrote it. No, I wrote it. But he put in some alternative words and made it a bit funnier.
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That's what he does. But I want to try it out on you as the first person.
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So would you be willing to listen to it? And, you know, if it gets boring at any point, just tell me or if you have any suggestions or improvements, you can just shout them out.
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Is that fair enough? Absolutely. Yes. To keep it interesting for you, I've given you a script and I would like you to play a character.
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There's three episodes and in episode one, you'll be playing a 100 year old tortoise who worries about everything.
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Got it. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that's something that you could do?
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Well, people say I'm tired. So I presume he's tired. So all I can do is give it my best shot.
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Wow. OK. I mean, who knows where this goes? Maybe it'll be a movie. Maybe it'll be a computer game.
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And in which case we'll definitely be in it. So if it is a movie, do I keep my role or just who gets the 100 year old tortoise?
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It's one of the old guys that's still alive from Lord of the Rings, isn't it? That's who gets it.
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No, you will get it. And you don't even have to do a costume either. You just lie.
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I was in prosthetics for six hours a day. So I think let's just get into it.
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Let's get into the story. The story is called The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency. And it's in three bits. I've said it's a festive caper in three Barry's because there are three separate characters called Barry in it.
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Got it. And we're going to start with Barry one. And this one's called Still at the Zoom.
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OK, here we go. Nora pulled her floppy green bunny from the inside pocket of her red coat and sat him on the tree beside where she was sitting.
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Now he could look at the giraffes while she ate the bag of crisps that granny had given to her.
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Interruption. You... Yes. What flavour crisps? Or you don't want this much detail in questioning? No, no, no. I'm going to say cheese and onion because it's Ireland.
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I think it's set in Ireland. I mean, people have got quite Irish names in it.
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So I'm going to say cheese and onion. Am I an Irish tortoise just for future?
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No, I feel there aren't many Irish tortoises. You know, it's not a traditional Irish animal.
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So you can be from anywhere you want. OK. Just hold on with the tortoise.
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We've got a bit to go before you come in. Carry on. You stay there!
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Nora ordered him. This is to the floppy green bunny she's put on the tree.
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Not that he was going anywhere. While green bunny was definitely Nora's favourite thing in the world, he wasn't what you could call a 100% real bunny.
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He was made of soft, fluffy stuff filled with other soft, fluffy stuff that a lifetime of hugs, nose rubs and bringing everywhere she went had given a unique shape, colour and smell too.
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Green-ish, sort of bunny blob thing might have been a more accurate name. But to Nora, he was perfect.
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She loved him as much as anyone has ever loved anything. She could only get to sleep at night if she felt one of his squashed ears against her cheek.
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Max, did you ever have one of those sort of teddies? Well, I had a blankie.
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Did you? I missed the blankie greatly, but Mrs. Rushden, after three years in, she said, it's me or the blankie.
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Suddenly, a seagull swept down from the sky and tried to grab a crisp from Nora's hand.
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No, seagull! She yelled, pulling the crisp away as her glasses fell to the ground.
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Nora was at that age where she sometimes mixed up words or sometimes just made up entirely new ones.
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Come near my crisps or green, bummy. That's what she called him. And you'll be making a huge moustache.
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Mistake. Well saved, Granny said as she put Nora's glasses back on. Tell me if that flappy nincomplop comes back.
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Like Nora said as she went back to finishing her crisps. Granny and Green Bunny agreed.
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Well, Granny did. Green Bunny just sat on the tree with the gold tinsel scarf Nora had put on him for the Christmas holidays glistening in the winter sun.
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OK, are we on board with this story so far, Max? Yeah, she's there with her granny.
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She's got a toy rabbit that is her pride and joy. It's the only thing that matters to her.
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Can I just say, I think you've got a lovely voice. I'm really just, I'm drifting off.
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Not through boredom, but through the wonderful lilt of your delivery. At each stop on the way home, the bus filled with more people carrying even bigger shopping bags.
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It was two days till Christmas and everyone was excited. Strangers were telling each other their big plans for the days ahead.
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Every few seconds, you would hear words like sprouts, sellotape and AAA batteries. They're very expensive AAA batteries just for the tape.
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OK, you're interrupting too much. I understand. I mean, just as regards cost of things, that's not really what I'm looking for in terms of feedback.
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OK, I should step out of the real world in the cost of living crisis.
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I'll keep quiet now until tortoise. Nora was excited for Christmas too, but at this moment she was mostly thinking about her favourite animals that she'd seen at the zoo that day.
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She was counting out the best ones on her fingers. At number five were the penguams, penguins, all standing in a line like they were queuing for the loo.
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At number four was the seal sliding into the water on his tummy like he was on a skateboard.
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Skateboard. At number three, the mirror cat who had looked right at her. You can work that one out for yourself.
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She reached into the inside pocket of her red coat to ask Green Bunny which animals should be number one and two.
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But Green Bunny wasn't in her inside pocket. She checked the outside pockets, but he wasn't there.
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Now panicking, she dived over to rummage in Granny's coat. Nora's eyes widened and the world seemed to stop.
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She'd never lost him before. Green Bunny is still at the zoo. Boom! Everybody on the bus stopped talking and turned to look at her.
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They couldn't understand what she'd said, but they knew it was very important. Now something you need to know about the zoo is that after it's closed for the day and the zookeepers have gone home,
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it becomes a very different place. How are you feeling, Barb? Barb Emer the lemur called out as she skipped along the bumpy path towards the black and white paradise enclosure where her best friend Barb the zebra lived along with a sleepy taper called Jamie and Ellis the skunk.
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A few hours before, this had been the busiest part of the whole zoo. Families having their picnics, grown-ups calling the names of children.
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They were sure it'd been eaten by the lion, but it just wandered off to go to the toilet.
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Now the only sound was the tree branch Emer was dragging along behind her. I'm not feeling great, said Barb.
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The day before, Barb had eaten a whole ice cream that an awful boy in a cowboy hat had thrown into her enclosure.
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Zebras aren't supposed to eat ice creams, but Barb couldn't resist. She'd just spent the whole day lying down with loud gurgling sounds coming from her insides.
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And as usual, the zookeepers hadn't even noticed. Interruption. Yes. Is that a Vianetta or a Gino Ginelli or perhaps a Choc Ice?
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Yeah, I think it's probably a Choc Ice. Cornetto, maybe. Is that too harsh? I said an awful boy in a cowboy hat, but you know.
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No, I think that's okay. Particularly at the zoo. It's littering, one. Yes. And there's lots of signs saying don't feed the animals.
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Yes. And if the boy is over five or six, in fact, over three should know not to throw things.
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Unless he's been terribly parented. And that's a different podcast. The zoo isn't, you know, it's not a high-end zoo, I think.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the zebra lives in black and white paradise with a tapir and a skunk, our other black and white animals.
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There was a badger there for a while. But the badger was eaten by a black bear.
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Wow. That the zookeepers had painted half white and pretended he was a panda for a while.
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So it's not a classy zoo. I got the best leaves for you from the red panda's tree.
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Emer climbed over the fence and laid the tree branch beside Barb. She put her tiny lemur hand on Barb's head.
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Eat them and I promise your tummy will feel better. Thanks, Emer. You're very kind.
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Barb said. Everyone said that to Emer because Emer was very kind. Emer, emergency! Roared Rudy the elephant.
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He had the best hearing of everyone in the zoo and was loud enough to pass the message on.
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The chimps need you, Emer. I repeat, the chimps need you. See you soon, Emer said as she dashed off.
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Do you know what a lemur is, Max? I do, yeah. What is it? It has sort of meerkat qualities.
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I wouldn't know which family it's from, but it's a sort of little otter type thing that stands on its hind legs and is pretty cute.
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And at Melbourne Zoo, you have to go through like an airlocked door to get to Lima Island.
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Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In case you try and steal one. I mean, that's obviously like a key problem in Australia is lima theft.
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I don't know, actually. It's just to keep them in. Keep them in Lima Island.
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A lemur, if you don't know, is a small primate, barely as high as your knee with a long stripy tail like a feather duster.
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Emer was so small, she could climb out through the hole in the roof of the Amazon primate's enclosure that the zookeepers didn't even know about.
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Every evening when the zoo was shut, Emer went round making sure everyone else in the zoo was doing okay.
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At the very edge of the zoo was Chimpan, New Zealand, where the chimp family lived.
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Baby Connor had climbed up a tall tree and wandered out to the end of a very long skinny branch.
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Now he was too scared to walk back. I'm so high up and it's so wobbly, he'd say each time he looked down.
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Emer. So this is Connor's mother, Janet. I think I'll make her from Edinburgh. Okay, good idea.
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Emer, I'm terribly worried that if I go out to get him, the branch might break.
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His mother, Janet, the chimp explained. No problem, said Emer with a smile. She was light enough to scamper out to where Connor was gripping the end of the tree with his eyes clamped shut.
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Hold on to my tail and we'll walk back together, she said. It'll be fun.
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Okay, said Connor. As they made their way back along the branch, Emer could see the road outside the zoo where a bus had pulled up.
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This was unusual because people didn't often get off the bus after the zoo had shut.
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A girl in a red coat and her granny stepped off and the girl ran to the main gate of the zoo.
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When she saw it was shut, she was so sad she could hardly breathe. Nora, I'll ring them in the morning, granny said.
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No, wait, the sign says the zoo isn't open tomorrow. It's Christmas Eve. But we'll get him first thing on Monday.
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Hang on, that's Christmas Day. And then it's not open the day after Christmas either.
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But we'll get your rabbit back next week. My sidekick! Sidekick. Nora blurted. She was crying so hard her glasses had fogged up.
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Granny gave her a big hug. I'm so sorry. That's tough. It is. Because the rabbit's not there for three mornings.
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She just can't sleep. She wouldn't sleep anywhere for Christmas Eve, I guess. But still, it's a real blow, this, for Nora.
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Another bus pulled up on the opposite side of the road. That's our bus home, granny said as she stepped towards it.
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But Nora couldn't move. Last bus to Cabin Teely, the driver said. Coming, said granny.
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As she picked up her granddaughter, Nora happened to look towards the trees. And Emer the lemur saw the saddest face she'd ever seen anyone make.
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I'm sure the giraffes will take good care of him, granny said, trying to be upbeat.
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Goodbye, green bummy, Nora said as the doors of the bus shut. This was a lot for Emer to take in.
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That rabbit must mean so much to this girl, she said. And now he's lost and bouncing around the zoo.
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Thanks, Emer. You're so kind, Janet said as baby Connor jumped into her arms. But Emer didn't hear.
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She'd already scampered down the tree, off on her next mission. Okay, I'm going to give you a little warning.
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But the tortoise appears. You don't need to do vocal warm-ups. Okay. Just, okay. Hey, Barrys.
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Emer had run so fast to Giraffic Park, where the giraffes lived, that she could barely talk.
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Take your time, Emer, Barry the giraffe said as she tried to catch her breath.
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Barry, whatever this is must be very important, said other Barry. Yes, both of the giraffes were called Barry.
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It was quite confusing. Emer started again. There's a rabbit. She stopped for another breath here.
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So the Barrys tried to guess what she was about to say. There's a rabbit in your dreams sometimes, Barry.
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That's what I think she's about to say. Barry said. No, Barry. Something like, there's a rabbit-shaped cloud in the sky today.
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That's what I think it is, other Barry guessed. No. Emer snapped back when she'd got her breath back.
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There's a rabbit on the loose in the zoo. The Barrys were shocked. How do you know?
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Asked Barry. I heard a girl in a red coat called Nora say it. Well, her granny said it.
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I think it was her granny. She said she was sure the giraffes would look after it, so he must be around here.
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Oh, my goodness. Said the low, boring voice of Morris the tortoise, who was under the tree he was always under.
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Sorry, was I too interesting there, or was that... No, that was really good. If anything, you're losing some of the momentum you had now.
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You better find him quick, or he'll take a wrong turn and somebody will eat him.
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Despite being over 100 years old, Morris had lived his whole life believing that the worst thing that could happen was definitely about to happen.
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Wait, are you talking about me eating him? Roared Declan the lion, who'd been listening from the old lion den town enclosure where he lived next door.
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Yes! Said Emer, Barry, other Barry and Morris all at the same time. Fair enough.
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Roared Declan back. Morris is right though. Said other Barry. Barry, he's not wrong. Said Barry.
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Emer nodded. We have to find him before it gets dark. Barry lowered his head to roughly lemur height.
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Climb aboard. He said and Emer knew what to do. She leapt onto it and held onto his little giraffe horns like she was flying a plane.
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And she, Barry and other Barry set off to find the lost rabbit. Move your tail please, Emer.
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I can't see anything. Said Barry. Sorry. She swooshed her stripy tail away from his eyes.
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Now you're after tickling my neck. Said other Barry. Oops! Said Emer. When you have a tail as long as a lemur's, sometimes it's difficult to know exactly where to put it.
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They patrolled around the edge of Giraffic Park, checking in every direction. Emer liked being up there.
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She was almost as tall as the double-decker buses that passed the zoo. One thing is on my mind.
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Said Barry. Is that thing a lemur called Emer? Asked other Barry. I mean, she's sitting on it like she's sitting on your...
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Barry, please. Said Barry. There's no time for your jokes. Sorry, Barry. Said other Barry.
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Go on. It's just that there's lots of different kinds of rabbit. Different sizes. Different colours.
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Do we know anything about this one? Emer remembered something Nora had said at the bus stop.
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She said it was a green bunny. Well, she said green bummy. But you could tell what she meant.
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Green? The Barrys looked at each other. Barry, I'm almost certain there are no green rabbits.
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100% Barry. They are white or black or grey or brown or a mixture of those colours.
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I'm telling you. Said Emer. That's what she said. Soon they'd completed a full lap.
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It's getting dark. Said Morris the tortoise from under his tree. You should give up or you might fall over and sprain your tails or fall into a massive hole filled with swords or something.
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We have to find him. Emer insisted. He'll be so scared of the dark. If I see him, I'll let you know.
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Roared Declan the lion. No, said Barry. You will eat him. Yeah, I suppose I will.
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Said Declan. Emer had an idea. I know someone who can see way better than us.
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Emer tilted her head upwards, took a deep breath and yelled, Ronnie! As loud as she could, which wasn't very loud because lemurs aren't really known for their yelling.
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Barrys, help me out here. Ronnie! They all called out together. Hearing them, Barb the zebra, who'd eaten her leaves and was definitely feeling a bit better, joined in.
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Ronnie! Finally, Rudy the elephant helped. Ronnie! The noise was loud enough to wake Ronnie the owl up in the tallest tree in the zoo.
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He poked his head out of his nest and swiveled in every direction. What? When Ronnie looked down, he saw a lemur sitting on a giraffe's head.
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And he thought he was still dreaming. But then he recognised Emer the lemur because everyone knew Emer and she had helped him so many times, finding twigs for his nest, taking a thorn out of his wing.
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She always remembered his birthday. Ronnie stretched out his wings and glided down, expertly landing on Emer's tail.
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Now it was an even more unusual sight. An owl on a lemur on a giraffe.
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What's going on? Ronnie asked as he yawned a big owl yawn. This was very early for him to be awake.
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We have to find Nora's green bunny, said Emer. He's somewhere around here and you can see everything.
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For you, Emer, I'll do it, said Ronnie. And they set off for another lap of Jurassic Park with Ronnie's head swivelling in all directions.
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Anything yet? Emer asked impatiently. That's the third time you've asked, said Ronnie. I'll tell you if I see him.
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He could be bouncing around, said Barry. That's right, Barry. Or eating a carrot, said other Barry.
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They like to do that, don't they, Barry? Or just scared to be alone in the zoo, said Emer, surrounded by all these big scary animals.
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Actually, we're not scary, said the two Bowerys at the same time. I am, roared Declan the lion.
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How about sitting in a tree, Ronnie asked. Could he be sitting in a tree?
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No way, said Emer, shaking her head. Not a chance, said Barry. You see, rabbits don't sit in trees, Barry.
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He's mixing them up with owls, said other Barry. Okay, so we'll just ignore that green-ish sort of bunny blob thing sitting in that tree by the bench.
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Emer and the Barry's whirled round. The gold tinsel round Green Bunny's neck glistened in the evening light.
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Be careful, whispered Morris. It could be a trap. You're doing great, Max. Thanks very much.
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All eyes were on Emer, who'd climbed the fence and was slowly approaching the tree.
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Hello, Green Bunny, she said in her softest voice. I'm Emer, and I'm here to get you back to Nora.
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Green Bunny didn't move. His head was bent over and he was looking down at the ground.
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Emer took a step closer. Do not worry, she whispered. I mean you no harm.
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Not too close, warbled Morris. What if lasers come from his eyes or giant tongue shoots?
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Or maybe he's just asleep, Emer interrupted. She picked up a long twig. I'm gonna wake him.
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As well as kind, Emer was also a very brave lemur. As the tip of the twig moved towards the bunny, the Barry's shifted nervously, and Morris tucked his head back into his shell.
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I'm just checking for something in here. He said. Even Ronnie swiveled his head most of the way around.
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She gave Green Bunny a gentle poke in his side, but he didn't wake up.
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So she tried again, slightly harder this time. Hello, Green Bunny, Emer whispered softly at first, and then in her normal voice.
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Hello, Green Bunny. When he didn't react, she threw down her twig. I'll wake him with a tickle.
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She stretched out her tail and began to moonwalk backwards towards him. As it brushed against his arm, Green Bunny began to move, but not in a good way.
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The Barry's gasped as he slumped over and fell from the tree, landing face first on the ground.
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Green Bunny. Emer rushed over to check. The moment she touched his soft fur, she knew.
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Oh no. Oh no, what? Asked other Barry. Is he dead? Oh no, please. Said Barry.
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Guys, Green Bunny isn't a real bunny. He's a toy bunny. I knew it. Said Morris, who definitely didn't know it.
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As he popped his head back out. Actually, it makes sense now, doesn't it, Barry?
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Said Barry. Other Barry went on. It does, Barry. You wouldn't bring a real rabbit to the zoo.
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I actually don't want to eat him anymore. Roared Declan the lion. I'm going back to bed.
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Said Ronnie as he flapped back towards his nest. What are you going to do now?
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Asked Morris. Emer couldn't stop thinking about Nora's sad face. I'm going to get this bunny back to Nora.
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Interruption. Very exciting, David. Is it exciting? I can't really tell. For a moment, it was, for the animals, it was going to be a bit like Weekend at Bernie's.
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But for animals. I shouldn't interrupt because now, you know, we've got to get the bunny back to Nora.
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You have to eat some breakfast, Nora. Granny said as her granddaughter stared at the bowl of cereal.
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Nora shook her head. But you didn't eat your dinner yesterday or have any popcorn with me last night.
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Nora went to speak, but nothing came out except more tears. I miss him. She said.
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I know. Granny put an arm around her. And we'll go and get green bunny soon.
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But before then, there's Christmas and Santa and so many exciting things to look forward to.
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Will Santaculous bring green bunny back to me? Nora asked hopefully. Santaculous was. You can work that out.
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Well, Santa doesn't usually do stuff like that, said Granny. He's not, you know, a home delivery service.
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Anyway, green bunny is probably having a lovely time with the animals in the zoo.
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But he might bring him back to me, Nora asked. I mean, I guess maybe.
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Nora looked out the window at the sky. Santaculous, please bring green bunny back to me on your way from the North Poland.
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Every child has a toy that they like. But this one seems to be even more important to Nora.
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Helen the mountain gorilla said. Helen was the oldest and wisest animal in the zoo.
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Emer went to see her whenever she had a problem that she couldn't solve. And if she wasn't having one of her many naps, Helen could usually solve it.
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So there must be a special reason why this bunny means so much to Nora, said Emer, patting green bunny who was on the ground beside her.
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Helen nodded. Helen lived with the other apes on Hairy Island, on the lake in the middle of the zoo.
28:12 - 28:19
Emer and green bunny had paddled over to see her in a bucket. To be accurate, Emer had done all the paddling.
28:19 - 28:26
You must make sure she gets her bunny back, said Helen. But how? asked Emer.
28:26 - 28:35
I know we don't always get on with them, but the zookeepers have a special place for things that get lost in the zoo.
28:35 - 28:46
The lost property box, it's called. You must make sure they get green bunny so Nora can collect him after Christmas when the zoo is open again.
28:46 - 28:58
I can't just walk up to them, said Emer. If the zookeepers knew Emer could get out of the Amazon primates' enclosure, they would repair the hole in the roof and she could never sneak out again.
28:58 - 29:06
Interruption. Yes? Is it $8.99 a month for the Amazon primates' enclosure? Helen leaned back against the tree.
29:06 - 29:13
You have to leave him where they will definitely find him, she said as her eyes started to shut.
29:14 - 29:26
That's a good idea, said Emer. Where? But as she waited for an answer, all she got was the soft breathing sound of an elderly napping gorilla.
29:27 - 29:36
Okay, I'll figure it out. Thanks, Helen, said Emer. As she lifted green bunny to take him back in the bucket, one of his soft ears brushed against Emer's face.
29:36 - 29:49
She was starting to understand why Nora liked him so much. What's the best place to leave green bunny so the zookeepers will definitely find him?
29:49 - 29:55
Emer asked Barb the zebra as she and green bunny sat on Barb's back that afternoon.
29:55 - 30:07
Hmm, said Barb, who'd recovered from her ice cream tummy. The zookeepers fed us at lunchtime, so they will be back in their hut having lunch right now.
30:07 - 30:15
Okay, said Emer. They always walk past here on their way home, so maybe leave him over there.
30:15 - 30:23
Barb nodded towards the empty picnic tables outside her enclosure. Okay, okay, said Emer. She grabbed green bunny and took him over the fence.
30:24 - 30:29
How about here? She lay the bunny down on the ground in front of the picnic area.
30:30 - 30:37
I'm worried they mightn't see him there if they're not looking down, said Barb. Okay, said Emer.
30:38 - 30:42
How about up here? She lifted him up and sat him on top of one of the tables.
30:43 - 30:52
As Emer turned round to get a verdict from her black and white striped best friend, she saw a sudden look of panic on Barb's face.
30:53 - 31:07
What? Emer had barely said it when Barb screeched up! Two squawking seagulls had swooped down, grabbed green bunny's ears with their claws, and were flying away with them.
31:15 - 31:21
What a knife edge. Well, we had to leave a big end. We want people to listen to episode two.
31:21 - 31:28
I suppose if episode two was Nora went to the lost property bin and asked Suzuki was for the bunny, they found it, and she went home.
31:28 - 31:34
It's a short ep, you know. Thank you for helping me, Max. Will you help me with the next episode as well?
31:34 - 31:39
Yes, because I want to know what happens. Okay, good. You were a great hundred-year-old tortoise.
31:39 - 31:45
Thanks so much. And episode two will be coming soon. Thanks for listening.