0:06 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
0:11 - 0:20
I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday.
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Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max. Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life.
0:49 - 0:55
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.
0:55 - 1:06
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem. From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday, I'm Max Rushden.
1:06 - 1:18
Over there is David O'Doherty. Hello, David. Finally, I have put my shovel in the ground and cheese has started to emerge from it.
1:18 - 1:33
The clock is ticking now down to the reveal of the O'Doherty family Christmas cheese board to the point where today we did the WhatsApp message where you go, who's doing turkey?
1:33 - 1:40
Who's doing carrots? Who's doing roasters? Et cetera, et cetera. Right. So was there a possibility that you wouldn't be doing the cheese board?
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And this year it would be like your brother. Yeah. Your brother's cheese board would be the game we play.
1:46 - 1:54
My 35-year-old nephew steamed in and said, you know, because it's a low stress one that you just have to buy some stuff.
1:54 - 2:00
You don't have to figure out how to make bread sauce or whatever. Cook sprouts and make them not awful.
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And so he went straight in. I'll do the cheese. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2:05 - 2:12
So I've wrestled the cheese back from him. In the interest of content. Yeah. That's not why I mentioned this.
2:13 - 2:19
I was at a Christmas market in the fumbly stables in Dublin last week. I left.
2:20 - 2:29
And as me and the Helen Copter were walking up the lane away from it, a woman ran after us as if I had stolen something.
2:30 - 2:44
Yeah. You know, you hit your pockets. Did I? Am I a thief? And she handed me two beautiful artisan cheeses from the Lost Valley Dairy and Creamery.
2:45 - 2:58
And she said, they're just normal cheeses. Oh, beautiful. But it does open another can of worms, which is, are people just going to be giving me cheese for the next few weeks in the hope that they end up.
2:58 - 3:07
And make it onto the board. Onto the board. Because they saw the graphs. They saw the graphs of all of those cheeses from last year.
3:08 - 3:15
Of course. The sales have rocketed. And does that mean you have to declare those cheeses to the inland revenue?
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The price of goats have gone up to half a million quid each because of our cheese.
3:23 - 3:30
And the trouble is, inside of trading, before we started this podcast, we sold all of our worldly possessions between us and just bought goats.
3:31 - 3:36
And we are going to go to prison for artificially inflating the cost of goats.
3:37 - 3:42
But listen, it's been worth it for the ride. No one suspected us. But I just had to come clean.
3:42 - 3:49
Now, David, feedback-wise, there's only really one subject. Yeah. Because last week, the Teddington quiz ended.
3:50 - 3:57
Yeah. In a dramatic fashion. Who knew? Who knew that's how Rufus Hound, it was producer Will.
3:57 - 4:00
Yeah. Because there was a real possibility that producer Will wouldn't be on the record.
4:00 - 4:08
And then he wouldn't have guessed Rufus Hound. And then the quiz could be in another world, in Back to the Future 2 world, in the non-almanac version of the world.
4:09 - 4:14
This quiz is still going on. Yeah. There is an alternate reality where people are still enjoying this quiz.
4:14 - 4:24
And our listeners have been sold short. That's what's happened. Yeah. For all your anti-clue chat, you did give a big old clue.
4:24 - 4:28
I made a big mistake. And I was sort of trapped. It was a honey trap.
4:29 - 4:33
N Teddington Now was a honey trap. They did so well. They did so well.
4:33 - 4:38
So to anyone who doesn't know, I mean, how far back do I go with this?
4:38 - 4:42
I mean, Graham does say, so the N Teddington website did its job. Absolute respect.
4:42 - 5:04
Despite this somewhat dubious percentage chances of Max meeting Dudley Moore and Nobby Stiles. But I mean, more than anything we've ever done, I suspect the Teddington quiz, you have stockholmed most of our listeners who now,
5:04 - 5:08
there's something missing from my life now. You know, how's this podcast going to end?
5:09 - 5:14
Obviously, we don't know. We don't have a plan. But for the last while, it's ended with you going now.
5:15 - 5:19
And that would be the word. And I would know exactly what you were about to say.
5:19 - 5:27
Now, I have been into the Reddit page and the analysis. It's a bit like when Monday Night Football have to do two hours on Leicester nil, Southampton nil.
5:28 - 5:34
There's really good stuff here. I mean, the spider says, may the 10th of December forever be known as VT Day.
5:35 - 5:43
Somebody could put a reminder in their phone. December the 10th was the day so that each year we celebrate Victory in Teddington Day.
5:44 - 5:50
Brian says, I probably had lesser reactions to true crime bombshell episodes than I have now to this correct guess.
5:50 - 5:57
What is good, David, is some people have viewed the end of this podcast in such a great way.
5:57 - 6:07
Civil T says, Max completely got that wrong. It should have been a celebration. He was trying to underplay it and play it cool and move on to the next thing.
6:07 - 6:14
But actually, it felt like someone taking their ball and going home in a sulk. I don't think he meant it in that way, but that's how it felt.
6:15 - 6:26
Completely. Yeah. Like your broadcasting instincts are always right. Yeah. Except for that. Just to be like, yep, if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast.
6:26 - 6:30
And I was the one that, like, imagine if we just let the, is that what you wanted?
6:31 - 6:38
Yeah, that's exactly. Just not mention it. But it has split the nation. Frostly says, I was annoyed by the quiz originally and I wanted it to end.
6:39 - 6:44
Then we had a few weeks of real progress. I started enjoying it. I felt a sense of anticipation to see if it would be ended each week.
6:44 - 6:48
I feared it might not be Jordan Henderson. And Max was leading us a merry dance.
6:48 - 6:53
The way it did end, though, no fanfare, nothing. Just, yep, that's it. So fucking annoying.
6:53 - 6:59
Max won. He strung us along on this bollocks quiz and then made out he didn't give a shit when someone got it right.
7:00 - 7:04
Seething. And he says, I don't mind, said Max. His tone, however, told a different story.
7:04 - 7:09
He was fully locked into this quiz for the next 4,000 years. Shattered to his very core.
7:10 - 7:20
Marvelous. I was reflecting the listeners. Well, I was just being honest in my reaction, which was, we need to acknowledge this.
7:21 - 7:26
Whereas you, even still. You're just, you're not that bothered about the whole thing. Grundlefleck.
7:27 - 7:32
David's, that's the end of the quiz. Wait, hang on. It was as devastating a cut as the Sopranos finale.
7:34 - 7:38
Jamie says, I just caught up with this this morning. The way you invented the Teddington quiz.
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The way you persisted with the Teddington quiz. The way you allow the Teddington quiz to end.
7:42 - 7:47
Max Rushden. You are a c**t. But you're our c**t. And we love you.
7:49 - 7:56
You can bleep those. The What Did You Do Yesterday Facebook group. Yeah. I had a look at that.
7:56 - 8:00
Oh, I didn't know there was that. Where were you when the Teddington quiz ended?
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So I put in that I was sitting in my basement doing the podcast. Yeah.
8:08 - 8:16
But Kate Bradley was scraping Alphabetti spaghetti into a food waste caddy. Like it's incredibly specific.
8:17 - 8:21
I was in an empty hospital room in Cardiff waiting for my wife to come back from surgery.
8:21 - 8:26
These are me. I hope she's okay. Yep. Yeah. All good. This is a nice one though.
8:27 - 8:32
In a polytunnel packing up dahlias. What a shock. Couldn't believe it. You know what I mean?
8:33 - 8:49
That's nice. You will remember where you were. I mean, you will. Um, Unbroken says the ridiculously anticlimactic ending was so infuriating that it was the perfect ending to the insanity that was the Teddington quiz, particularly David and Michael's bafflement about whether or not Max was being serious.
8:49 - 8:55
Leonard, it was a beautifully nuanced end to a ridiculous quiz. Bravo, Max. Fluff, I laughed so hard in my kitchen.
8:55 - 8:59
A brilliant end. And now he's got a taste for it. What insanely mundane quiz will come next.
8:59 - 9:08
I, for one, am in it for life. Dark Flute says, you've learned nothing. Just yesterday on Football Weekly, Max Giddily suggested asking all the guests how many lights they have in their homes.
9:14 - 9:21
God, that would get so technical. As in, are you counting the light of the clock of the cooker?
9:21 - 9:27
Oh, that's a good question. I think in a sort of subheading. Yeah. I mean, there's, you know, there's your light bulbs.
9:27 - 9:32
There's your lamps. There's your spotlights. Which is interesting. Great. You can't stop yourself wherever you are.
9:32 - 9:36
I'm looking around going, nah, this tiny little shed, three spotlights and a ring light.
9:36 - 9:42
Four. It's interesting. It's interesting. Good stuff. Ambitious cancel. Sad it's gone. You think nothing is going to take its place.
9:42 - 9:48
Max is fluent in this stuff. We won't be waiting long. Willie says, was it fate that Jordan Henderson scored this week?
9:48 - 9:54
That was it. His first goal for his new club, Brentford. Scored this weekend. Can you believe it?
9:54 - 10:00
Yeah. And Rufus Hound, of course, won an Oscar as well. So it just goes to show.
10:03 - 10:07
Caroline says, let me start by saying you're a huge part of my week. I love you to bits.
10:07 - 10:11
However, I'm sitting on my commute and I just heard the Teddington quiz. Holy shit.
10:11 - 10:17
I want to scream to the whole train. The names Jordan Henderson and Rufus fucking Hound.
10:17 - 10:23
I'm now bereft. Lost Teddington 2 have been freed. What tantalizing treat will come next? I'm in this for life.
10:23 - 10:30
Happy Christmas. Bring in the cheese, says Caroline. Sam says, after finishing listening to the podcast and hearing the Teddington quiz, end.
10:30 - 10:35
Brackets. Great quiz. Thank you, Sam. Dancing in the moonlight came on in the background of the work radio.
10:36 - 10:42
Oh I sensed it. Center of the universe. Jacob in Stockport says, dear Generic Man 3, DOD, and producer Mars Bar.
10:42 - 10:48
Cancer nurse specialist working in Greater Manchester. My yesterdays are often spent with people and families on the worst day of their lives.
10:48 - 10:57
Your podcast is a constant reminder to me how boring life is most of the time and how quite literally in Nish's case are yesterdays are full of trivial shit, which helps me decompress on the drive home.
10:57 - 11:02
The Teddington quiz is something I thought would stand the test of time. I envisage growing old and gray.
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The only consistency in my life being the elusive promise of the impossible quiz. Having it solved has left me bereft and rudderless in a chaotic and uncertain world.
11:11 - 11:15
And I demand an even more impossible quiz in its stead. In it for life.
11:15 - 11:30
Everything is showbiz and justice for Teddington, says Jacob. Do you think it might be possible the 10th of December as the day it ended becomes like next year, just a few people gather in Teddington, but the year after there's a couple of hundred,
11:30 - 11:37
you know what I mean? And then in 20 years time is when Jordan Henderson and Rufus Hound both turn up.
11:37 - 11:42
Yeah. They build a pyramid stage and they do a full set. They play the hits.
11:43 - 11:54
They play Dancing in the Moonlight. That's how it ends. Chris writes, to celebrate the joyous end of the Teddington quiz, I've outdated Rufus Hound's Wikipedia page.
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Feel free to re-edit an amend if required. Bring on the cheeses in it for life.
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Personal life. Hound lives in Hampton, London. In April 2007, Hound was married at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas Strip, Nevada to Beth Johnson, whom he'd met at the Reading Festival the year before.
12:10 - 12:17
They have two children together, Albie and Hilda. Although they separated as of April 2020, Rufus has since been linked romantically with actor Sally Hodgkiss.
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On the 10th of December 2025, it's Ian Loeshton. Hey, buddy. How are you? What's going on?
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Mama's getting me some things to tell you. What's Mama getting? Ian, what time did you wake up at yesterday?
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What are you looking at? I'm looking at this. Yeah, the camera. And then this is Rufus Hound's Wikipedia page.
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I want to do some business to that. You want to do some business? Business is a laptop where we just write things in case listeners think.
12:50 - 12:56
I'm making you do stocks and shares. Oh, my goodness. My whole family's here. Jamie, I need half an hour.
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Half an hour? I'm so sorry. Okay, we can come back if we make the butter chokes.
13:09 - 13:21
Oh, no. He's sad Teddington's over. It's really sad that Teddington quiz is finished. And he said, I knew it was Rufus Hound.
13:21 - 13:29
But he said, I love you, buddy. They separated as of April 2020. Rufus has since been linked romantically with actor Sally Hodgkiss.
13:30 - 13:42
On the 10th of December 2025, Hound was revealed as the comedian that Max Rushden had seen in Teddington earlier that year on the hit podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday, bringing an end to the worst quiz in podcast history.
13:44 - 13:49
Major life events. They're the ones you have to learn off in school. Just those few bits.
13:50 - 13:54
Yes. Thank you. Can I just read one email which is not Teddington related, but it's from Connor in Glasgow.
13:54 - 14:04
Dear Max, David, and Mars Bar, as my office Christmas party's mandatory karaoke session started to run out of the classic standard songs, I was, of course, compelled to request Enya's Orinoco Flow.
14:04 - 14:08
I was nervous about singing such a speculative choice, but I should not have worried.
14:09 - 14:20
The opening verse from Bissahu to Palu, who triggered waves of colleagues to prance and frolic across the starkly lit canteen floor, flapping their invisible wings with floppy wrists.
14:20 - 14:25
But upon the chorus, a roar of chanting erupted from the groups of men huddled at the back.
14:26 - 14:33
Sign away, sign away, sign away. Pints in hand, yet still arm in arm. They cheered as if they were in the terraces of a lower league football team.
14:33 - 14:38
Thank you for the inspired song selection. Everything is showbiz, Connor in Glasgow. I cannot wait.
14:38 - 14:42
I don't know what I'm next on karaoke, but I cannot wait to bring that out.
14:42 - 14:50
Yep. Look at my Live at the Apollo appearance on BBC, because they said, what do you want to walk on to?
14:50 - 14:54
So I'm like, oh, whatever is there is fine. It's not terribly important, the music you walk on to.
14:55 - 14:59
They said, no, no, no, we're the BBC. We can have any song you want in the world.
14:59 - 15:05
And I thought about it for less than an eighth of a second that I said, Orinoco Flow by Enya, please.
15:06 - 15:13
And it's very dramatic as I come out with the smoke. Yeah. But you need sort of a billowing out, like you need a cape.
15:13 - 15:30
I guess, yeah. Anyway, let's play They're Just Normal Countries. Yes. I am the one and only What country could I be?
15:31 - 15:43
I am the one and only Where in the world could our listeners be? A big pressure on this quiz now.
15:43 - 15:50
Welcome, everybody, because it's our last remaining quiz, at least for 10 more days until the cheese board returns.
15:50 - 16:00
Just on the cheese board, it is important, David, that we all acknowledge that everybody knows that after a successful first cheese board, the second cheese board is notoriously difficult.
16:00 - 16:05
Yes. And so this quiz won't feel quite as exciting as the first cheese board.
16:05 - 16:11
But what you need to realize is in nine or 10 cheese boards time, it will be glorious.
16:11 - 16:16
We just have to get to that stage. That's what I'm saying. Just trust the process, you know.
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And remember, I am trying to make a cheese board that the members of my family like.
16:24 - 16:35
Of course, yeah. There's not going to be jiggery-pokery going on at all. It's not going to be like cheese that has passed through one of those cats' insides, you know?
16:35 - 16:42
Nothing like that. Yeah, just normal cheeses. Here are the countries that we've guessed so far, if you're just joining us.
16:43 - 16:51
Madagascan, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino, Cricht.
16:51 - 17:01
Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji, Cricht, Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands, Cricht, Belarus, Palau, Aruba, Ecuador, Iraq.
17:01 - 17:09
They are calling it the group of death. They shouldn't have let that many teams into the World Cup, Max.
17:10 - 17:14
It's a really big group, isn't it? It is group C, and that is going to take forever.
17:15 - 17:28
Trump turning up to Madagascar against Eswatini. Well, you know, Liechtenstein, North Korea, the tickets are already, the dynamic pricing is 25 grand for a ticket for that one.
17:28 - 17:37
Those two straight up do not like each other. No. Andy in Cheltenham says, Dear Average Football Guy 3, Irish Sidekick 2, and the one and only Mars Bar.
17:37 - 17:42
I have no glamorous holiday story, no clever mathematical logic, and no humorous anecdote as to why I came up with my guests.
17:43 - 17:50
After a miserable day at work, I was trudging home through the rain, listening to the pod where I saw a car number plate that said G4BON.
17:50 - 18:00
So I thought, that'll do. My guess is Gabon. If this is one of the countries, I will concede that the pod is the center of the known universe and order my first pair of Lululemons.
18:00 - 18:08
Producer Will is Gabon correct? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, my way!
18:09 - 18:15
Andy! Gabon, Gabon, Gabon. When you said it, I was sure it was going to be G-A-B-O-C.
18:16 - 18:20
That was my absolute. I'm like, this is an even more obscure country than any of the others.
18:21 - 18:29
Gabon! One listener! One listener. So the board is yours, Andy. Everyone else in the world, your light is turned off for now.
18:29 - 18:36
And if Andy can get the next two, then he will be the winner of They're Just Normal Countries.
18:36 - 18:46
This is very exciting. And you know, the prize for this is if I ever find the lost AirPods, I will send them to you.
18:46 - 18:54
Oh, what a great prize. How's that going? No, they're still just sitting somewhere. And I've just started using the other ones, but they will turn up.
18:54 - 19:04
Are they still on Find My? Can you still see them? They are still in their last location, which is either in the wardrobe or on the floor below it in the coats.
19:05 - 19:11
Right. And have you moved all the coats to another part of the house and then done the check?
19:11 - 19:18
I did squeezy-squeezy on the pockets of all the coats. But could they be in a breast pocket?
19:18 - 19:25
Could they be in an inside pocket? The only way to know will be by wearing them over the course of the next three years.
19:25 - 19:30
No, but what if you just took each coat to the other, right at the other end of the house?
19:30 - 19:36
Oh, I see. And then another coat. You could do it live on Instagram. Okay, good numbers.
19:37 - 19:46
Because the AirPod has stopped giving out information. And I think it just locks in where it was when it stopped working.
19:46 - 19:51
I think that's the case anyway. Give it a try. Hey, David, what time did you wake up yesterday?
19:51 - 19:58
Oh, wow. That's a good question. Yesterday I woke up at 8.30. Okay, that's nice. In Belgium.
19:59 - 20:04
In Belgium. I said it, yeah. Yeah. I knew you were in Belgium. I can't act surprised, David.
20:04 - 20:09
I knew you were in Belgium. But the listeners didn't. It was in a posh hotel.
20:09 - 20:19
Like James Bond. I woke up, looked out the window, could see. So it's like James Bond, you woke up next to a beautiful, better Russian secret agent.
20:19 - 20:25
She was dead. She tried to kill me in the night. But the gun had gone off.
20:25 - 20:33
Yep, fair enough. And it was posh hotel. And the view out the window is you see the big atom thing.
20:33 - 20:46
That's the large Brussels-y monument. Why am I in a posh hotel in Brussels? You are the new president of the EU.
20:47 - 21:02
This is why, like, it's the beauty of this podcast in a way that just as your quizzes are the worst possible versions of quizzes, this is the worst day for me to have as my yesterday.
21:02 - 21:09
Because I spent 12 hours of it doing a thing that I can't tell you about.
21:09 - 21:12
I can tell you bits and pieces. You can tell us a bit about it, David.
21:12 - 21:24
Yeah. You can try and use your journalism to get more out of me. But I'm making a TV show in Brussels, outside of Brussels.
21:25 - 21:31
And I think it comes out in the middle of next year. So we can't really say too much about it.
21:31 - 21:41
But I'll give you some fascinating momentary insights into what I'm doing. Question. Why didn't you say, can Max be on the TV show too?
21:44 - 21:51
Because you didn't, did you? You didn't do that. I was about to say, you're in Australia and it's too far away.
21:51 - 21:59
But one of the players in the game, Chloe Petts, flew back from Australia to be in it.
22:00 - 22:14
So, yeah. So I can just come with her. Stop asking to be in everything and asking any person with presenting experience how they got the job and why didn't you get it.
22:14 - 22:20
Okay. So it's 8.30. This is a late start. What do we do? So if it's a posh hotel, there's a nice shower.
22:20 - 22:28
There's like a sort of wet room. It's got one of those big, round shower tops that sort of cascades like a Timotei advert.
22:28 - 22:34
So you're surely straight into that. It does. But the evening before, I'd been doused in lube.
22:34 - 22:40
So I had to have a shower at the studio before coming back. Is that part of the TV show?
22:41 - 22:47
What is that bit? I go straight down for breakfast. That's what I'll do. Are there remnants of lube?
22:47 - 22:53
Or did you get it all off? No, got it all off. In fairness to lube, it does come straight off.
22:54 - 23:02
But there was a non-branded shower gel in a plastic bottle that when we got there, I thought was water.
23:02 - 23:10
I thought this is what Belgian mineral water comes in. And luckily had a little sniff of it before I knocked the whole thing back.
23:11 - 23:16
It would, the glugs would take a long time, wouldn't it? It would glug differently.
23:16 - 23:21
Shower gel to water. You'd know this early, I think, in this. Okay. So you come straight down for breakfast.
23:22 - 23:27
What's on a Brussels Posh Hotel breakfast buffet? Who's sitting there? Ed Gamble. Ed Gamble's there.
23:27 - 23:37
Of course he is. All right. And he and I only have five minutes. Is he on YouTube looking at watches, brackets, masturbating?
23:39 - 23:49
No, he's not. But if you remember shortly after that, he enjoys a hotel breakfast and his dream is kippers.
23:49 - 24:00
But he can't have a smoked fish right now because they don't, with respect to the Posh Hotel in Brussels, they don't fully get breakfast.
24:01 - 24:09
You know, they don't. There's little pots of salad and, you know, a lot of chia seeds and quinoa.
24:09 - 24:17
And obviously we go for the baked and avat. And even then, they don't have toast as we know it.
24:17 - 24:23
They have like artisanal brown bread that you have to load up chicken sausages onto.
24:23 - 24:28
Like it's that sort of a thing. It's someone having a good old go at it, but it's not.
24:28 - 24:32
I don't think anyone has ever said made, you know, not having the right toast.
24:32 - 24:38
Into a more trailer for a sci-fi movie than they don't have toast as we know it.
24:40 - 24:43
Okay. So you're sort of sad, but you've probably got a decent plate of food.
24:44 - 24:51
Just tell me the plate. A chicken sausage. Already disappointing, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. They don't have bacon as we know it.
24:51 - 25:00
They have more of a prosciutto thing that's been fried. Yeah. They have a slightly too watery scrambled egg.
25:00 - 25:09
Okay. Yeah. But we've been working pretty hard now for a few days. So I do feel I need to carve up, you know, like a...
25:09 - 25:15
Like a marathon runner. ...rider in the Tour de France. That's basically the entertainment equivalent of that.
25:15 - 25:23
I eat my plate and then the person from the production comes in and says, you have to go now.
25:24 - 25:34
And I panic because I want something else. Yeah. So I attempt to make basically a McDonald's type McMuffin.
25:35 - 25:39
Like a traveler to take with you. Yes. I get a croissant and I open it.
25:40 - 25:50
I put another chicken sausage in. I put cheese over that. Right. And then push fake scrambled egg around that.
25:50 - 26:02
All our French listeners have left the podcast. We're ready to go. Okay. So as a people carrier, you're in a people carrier with Ed Gamble and Chloe Petts.
26:03 - 26:07
No. Petts has had to go. You have your own cars like The Apprentice. You have your...
26:08 - 26:15
Yes. Like in Succession, we travel in a convoy of... No, it's not like that at all.
26:15 - 26:22
It's me and Ed having a good old laugh in the 45 minutes it takes to get to...
26:22 - 26:32
Like entertainment television is made in the unlikeliest locations, such as an industrial estate outside of Brussels.
26:32 - 26:36
I think it's midway between... You're doing the crystal maze. It's the crystal... This is the future zone.
26:36 - 26:47
Belgian crystal maze. Le maze de cristal. A funny thing. As you enter the studio, as you go towards the doors, you walk across a basketball court.
26:47 - 27:00
And part of you is like, why is this basketball court here? And because that is the set of a really popular Spanish soap opera, a telenovela from Spain.
27:01 - 27:09
This is where the kids all hang out on this basketball court in an industrial estate outside Antwerp.
27:11 - 27:16
Oh, no. Ian broke in. Ian broke in and delivered me some toast. And now he's broken out again.
27:16 - 27:22
Ian really wants me to say what the TV show is. Like, I know that's what's going on here.
27:22 - 27:28
Ian has never wanted to hang out with me more than right now. Because one of the first TV shows I did was...
27:29 - 27:32
This is going to be good. It was really good. This is going to be good.
27:32 - 27:36
You know when there's not enough horse racing, so they put, like, computerized horse racing on you.
27:36 - 27:47
Right? No, but... And so, you know, you're in the bookies. And there's, like, we go now to Bonky Downs for the 132 steeplechase.
27:47 - 27:53
And it's, like, computerized horses doing a race. What? And what were you doing? I was hosting this show.
27:53 - 28:00
Me and, like, there was a selection of people. One of them has gone on to be, like, an incredibly successful film producer.
28:02 - 28:11
Martin Scorsese. Gabe Turner, I think he's called. Yeah, Martin Scorsese. You'd sit there and they'd be like, you just have to say, like, coming up and you have to commentate on these horse races, right?
28:11 - 28:18
It's absolutely ridiculous. And I'd just be talking about, I'd be like, I obviously thought it was ridiculous, but I was getting 200 quid.
28:18 - 28:21
So I was like, okay, this is pretty good stuff, right? Yeah. Because I'm just about 25.
28:22 - 28:25
And I'd be talking about, like, the trees, like these computerized trees and how beautiful they were.
28:26 - 28:33
And they'd be like, oh, look, number six has won. Whatever. But it was in the same building as, like, there were, like, three studios.
28:33 - 28:38
And there was, like, a sort of Mystic Meg, not quite as good as Mystic Meg, fortune telling show.
28:38 - 28:44
And then there was, like, one of your naughty shows. But not too naughty. It wasn't, like, porn show.
28:44 - 28:49
But it was, like, you know, where a girl would basically show a lot of cleavage and then try and get you to ring a number.
28:49 - 29:00
Yeah. So, obviously, around the kettle was absolutely extraordinary. I'd be standing there with a fortune teller and a page 3 girl just making a cup of PG tips.
29:01 - 29:12
Amazing. Just how often on this podcast does Generic Man 3, I'm talking to the listeners, this is an aside to the listeners, he just throws out one of those.
29:13 - 29:23
That most of us would base our entire personality around this time when we worked with fake horses and softcore pornography people.
29:24 - 29:28
But it's just, it was just another day for this guy. Oh, it was very funny.
29:28 - 29:33
Right. So, it's the telenovela, that's just the set. They're not filming as you come in, are they?
29:33 - 29:39
No. And also, they couldn't possibly pretend this was Spain during the bleak Belgian winter.
29:41 - 29:45
I don't remember what we talked about on the way there, but we had a good laugh.
29:46 - 29:56
I think we were making up puns. Did you talk about this podcast? I think we were- Did you and Ed talk about this podcast? Were the puns you were making better than the frog ones you were trying to make last week when you were hungover?
29:56 - 30:05
Bluey CK and Bonnie Bluey were the two things we made up, which are a mixture of Bluey the cartoon and various other cultural things.
30:05 - 30:10
Right. You know, it's early in the morning. We're trying to get our brains together.
30:10 - 30:20
The reason we have gone to Belgium to film this thing is because this incredible multi-million pound set has been built there.
30:20 - 30:31
In a warehouse. And I can't wait for people to see this thing. Question. Have they built this set and they're making an English version, a French version, a German version?
30:32 - 30:50
So, the German David O'Doherty is doing the same series as you. So, they've built this in Brussels and every day a selection of, you know, mid to upper mid-range comedians are going to do a- How dare you?
30:50 - 30:57
Going for gold was a running topic of this whole thing. Because it sort of felt like that.
30:57 - 31:03
Because half the crew were Belgian. I don't know if other countries are doing versions of it.
31:03 - 31:12
It would make sense. Maybe. I think it was invented by a Belgian. So, this was built in- That was a really strong reason why it's there, isn't it?
31:13 - 31:19
There's a lot of dressing up in it. And there is a lot of messing around.
31:20 - 31:26
Uh-huh. I did dress as a fireman at one point. So, you're doing a calendar?
31:27 - 31:34
Yes. In fact, today, for the group that we made for all of us, I did exactly that.
31:34 - 31:42
I wrote January across the top of the one photo of me in it. And then it took ages to write the numbers 1 to 31 underneath.
31:42 - 31:58
Yes. But once again, my fireman suit got drenched in lube as well. So, it does sound at this point a little bit like the show that was being made in the room beside a fake horse racing.
32:00 - 32:05
We get comedians. We lube them up. We dress them as fireman. And then we just see what happens.
32:06 - 32:12
We tell them not to make love for three years before the show. It's a commission.
32:12 - 32:24
It's a hit. It's a funny one because it's quite tiring to do because you're doing on-camera chatting stuff and then a little bit of some physical stuff.
32:24 - 32:28
That's about as much as I can say. So, it's sort of Taskmaster meets Gladiators.
32:28 - 32:32
And then you... Can we just say for the tape, I know what it is.
32:32 - 32:39
Okay. So, I can't really do fake journalistic questions about what it is for the tape because I know what it is.
32:39 - 32:44
But I can't say because you won't let me say. I could say because I haven't signed an NDA.
32:44 - 32:49
You can't do this. I'll get in trouble. No, but I'm not going to say because I'm your friend, David.
32:49 - 32:54
I want you to get in trouble. They'll replace me with an AI, someone else.
32:54 - 33:02
Although, you now knowing what it is, you will ask for an AI, you to be inserted into it, which people will think is the actual you.
33:03 - 33:07
So, there's a lot of singing of all of our dressing rooms are in the same corridor.
33:07 - 33:13
And there are some powerful singers in the group. So, we've got Petts and Gamble.
33:14 - 33:19
Yeah. I can't really reveal... The rest of them. Mel Gedroych is great at singing.
33:19 - 33:26
Okay. Is that unconnected? Is that connected? Is that not connected? But we sing some Christmas songs.
33:27 - 33:33
This is a sort of banter outside of the show. No, this is the show.
33:33 - 33:37
Okay. Okay. Right. I see. I just thought this was just like comics having fun in their dressing rooms.
33:38 - 33:44
Who can sing the loudest in their dressing room? We dress as lubed firemen and sing Good King Wenzel.
33:45 - 33:59
It's like Andre Rio. It's a really low budget version. I have a big discussion with the crew and everyone, which is I've got a big birthday coming up.
33:59 - 34:06
Max. You do, yeah. It's my 50th birthday. And do I need to provide food of any kind is the question.
34:07 - 34:12
Where is it at? Where are you having it? In my home. Me and Helen Copter's pad.
34:12 - 34:18
Do you need food? I think you need... Cheese. Do I need like... Crisps and dips.
34:18 - 34:22
Just cover the kitchen table in crap that people can eat. But we don't know...
34:22 - 34:31
You don't need waiters. No, no, no. But it's absolutely not that. It's a dive party that befits my shambolic vibe.
34:32 - 34:39
So all I foresee then is someone just trips and goes face first into a giant wheel of brie.
34:40 - 34:48
Right. So if you're doing a dive party, you need... Behind each sofa, each chair needs to be like that blue plastic bag with like three cans of grolsh in it.
34:49 - 34:57
Yes. It's going to be a party where for the next six months, you'll just be finding a blue plastic bag with three cans of grolsh in coats.
34:57 - 35:10
So really, you need just packets of Doritos just around and about. Maybe, yeah. And then in the fridge is a selection of half-eaten things that people wouldn't feel so bad if they ate them.
35:10 - 35:18
Do you see what I mean? Cut half a sandwich in there so that by late, when you're just opening the fridge, going, actually, I think I could have that.
35:18 - 35:27
They wouldn't care. So nothing too posh. That's what I would... And then some giant chocolate buttons and some Haribo as a kind of, hey, we're still young, guys.
35:27 - 35:34
I have a friend from Glasgow who still mocks people from Edinburgh for being mean.
35:34 - 35:41
And the line that's always used by people from Glasgow about people from Edinburgh is having a party.
35:41 - 35:49
And on the invite is, you'll have had your tea. Yeah. Meaning I'm not providing any food whatsoever.
35:49 - 35:53
And I do feel it's a bit like that. What time do you want people to get there?
35:54 - 36:02
I think I've said from seven. Okay. And here's the thing, right? Yeah. 9.45, 10pm, Domino's Pizza.
36:02 - 36:09
Just 10 Domino's Pizza has arrived. Oh, yeah. No, you don't tell anybody. They're just at the door and suddenly people are like, oh, my God.
36:09 - 36:13
They will be more impressed with that than if you had really posh food on the table when they arrived.
36:13 - 36:19
It's a bit like a wedding. When you're young and a wedding and then they have like a kebab van.
36:20 - 36:25
Like as if you've never seen one before. As if you couldn't just go and get a kebab any day of your life.
36:25 - 36:30
You're suddenly like, oh, my God, I can have a kebab for free. And I don't need a kebab because I had a massive dinner.
36:30 - 36:36
I had a chocolate ganache wheel 10 minutes ago. But okay, fine. I should be a party organizer.
36:37 - 36:42
Simply get a kebab van. Great. Thanks for sorting that out for me. That's all right.
36:45 - 36:51
Then have to pose for photos for I think it must be for the opening sequence to it.
36:52 - 36:58
But they want you to do hundreds of expressions. Funny jumpings. Oh, God. They will make into a sequence.
36:59 - 37:07
So initially you're trying to maintain your dignity. But after a while you realize the way to make this end soon is just to do exactly what they want.
37:08 - 37:12
So I do that. And I trust them. These lads seem to know what they're doing.
37:12 - 37:19
We have lunch. Interruption. Just on that photo thing. And it's the reason why I never make it onto the big photos that TalkSport do.
37:19 - 37:23
You go in and you have your photos. And then they go, now celebrate like you've won the World Cup.
37:23 - 37:29
Oh, no. And then I see all the photos going around social media. People going, Jamie O'Hara going, yes.
37:30 - 37:34
I'm just standing there smiling. They just don't use that photo as much. And it kind of works.
37:34 - 37:38
It kind of works in that, you know, I should just be like, I get it.
37:38 - 37:42
Because in the bigger picture, it works. But I just don't want to do a jumping photo when they say, now jump.
37:42 - 37:47
Because then you'll just feel like you're on one of those, like a backpacking group trip to the Inca Trail.
37:47 - 37:51
And they want you to jump in front of Machu Pichu. Yeah, but. Don't want to do that.
37:51 - 37:58
I do feel a thing has happened in our beloved game of football. Whereas, well, originally it was the whole team.
37:58 - 38:10
And then there were individual Panini style portraits, just shoulders. But now the World Cup demands that you give them five poses for every player.
38:10 - 38:20
Even a player like Luka Modric, you know, who's obviously a very modest man, has to pose for one where he's pointing at his badge or shooting the camera with a gun or whatever.
38:20 - 38:24
I don't like that. I don't like that at all. It's not for you. It's not for me.
38:24 - 38:34
And if Ireland make it to the World Cup and I am called into the squad at the last minute, you will see the only picture of me will be arms folded.
38:34 - 38:43
Arms folded. Yeah. Staring right down the barrel. Yeah. What's for lunch? Belgian tacos. Ah, great.
38:43 - 38:50
Hola. Taco Mondays. It's a catering, brought in vibe, but the food's really good. Sorry, taco sundaes, isn't it?
38:50 - 39:00
It's your sundaes. This is your sunday. This is a sunday. But you have no idea what day it is because we've been in this facility now for three days.
39:00 - 39:07
On every other day, apart from this one, we get there in the darkness because we leave the hotel at 6.30.
39:07 - 39:17
And you leave them when it's dark again. So I have no idea what day it is or what the vibe is really time wise.
39:18 - 39:28
We all eat together. That's very fun. Some of us in ludicrous costumes. Is it hard to pick up the food because you're so luby?
39:30 - 39:37
Yes. Initially it is. But then I clean these products off. There's been a lot of dry ice as well.
39:37 - 39:43
Dry ice. So sort of 80s. You're doing 80s pop videos. Yeah. Luby 80s pop videos.
39:43 - 39:50
What a great Belgian idea for a show. Belgian luby 80s pop. That's what is missing, isn't it?
39:50 - 39:56
People say you can't make anything new anymore. And this guy's gone, hang on. Belgian luby 80s pop.
39:56 - 40:06
Carry on. So it is the stupidest possible situation. We've been trying to sing a harmonized version of the theme from Match of the Day.
40:06 - 40:15
We're dressed as characters from various eras. And it is nice in a way that I'm with some of my friends.
40:15 - 40:26
And also a bunch of my friends who've been on this podcast. When we find out about the incredibly sad death of Justin Morehouse's son.
40:27 - 40:34
This is while we're all just finishing our lunch. I know you were close. Like I knew Justin just from comedy.
40:34 - 40:41
You've done so much radio with them. But like immediately, I think about the podcast that we made.
40:41 - 40:47
The What Did You Do Yesterday? Which is like a love letter to his family.
40:48 - 40:52
To his boy, yeah. And it's totally heartbreaking. I've been in touch with him a bit.
40:53 - 40:57
But like there was a thread on the Reddit page saying, you know, about that episode.
40:57 - 41:01
Saying, you know, Bush wrote, if there was one thing that came across in that episode.
41:01 - 41:05
It was the love and support he gave to his son. Yeah. Fast Marine said, what an amazing dad.
41:05 - 41:10
C Shaw said, when I read the news, I immediately thought of the coffee truck, the bacon, the unconditional love.
41:10 - 41:17
Justin showed proudly for his beautiful son. Yeah. It's so heartbreaking. And we do on the radio.
41:17 - 41:24
He comes on. My relationship with Justin is, I can't remember how it began. And as people know of dumb quizzes.
41:24 - 41:29
We started guessing attendances. Oh, yeah. I think he was just on talking about Man United.
41:30 - 41:34
And then we're like, oh, how many people were at West Ham yesterday? And him and Barry had a guess.
41:34 - 41:40
And I was like, this is a good game. Like 46,312. Yeah. And then it's higher or lower.
41:40 - 41:50
And then every week for maybe 10 years now, he comes on every Sunday. And I have a relationship with this guy based on how many people were at Stevenage or Rotherham.
41:50 - 41:56
Every Sunday, you know, best of five. And he normally wins and Barry loses. And it's right at the end of the show.
41:56 - 41:59
And it's always like chaos. And it just ends. And then we go, see ya.
41:59 - 42:06
And he refuses to be paid to do it. And he sort of says, you know, like whenever he's at the game, people are like, oh, how many were at that?
42:06 - 42:11
And he's like, oh, God. You know, and he does it. And he's such a good-hearted guy.
42:11 - 42:16
And so on Sunday, we sort of didn't know what to do. But I was doing the show with Charlie.
42:17 - 42:21
Barry was not on because he was at the Sundler-Newcastle game. But he came on.
42:21 - 42:26
And then Barca Jim, friend of the pod, basically emails this pod every week to say that I'm a ****.
42:27 - 42:32
He's a really great man, Justin. And we all came on the radio and just sort of cried for 15 minutes.
42:32 - 42:36
I don't know if it was good radio, but it sort of felt like the right thing to do.
42:36 - 42:43
And Justin had said, you know, mention Barney. And he sent me a picture of him, the two of them at Bilbao, which was the UEFA Cup final.
42:44 - 42:47
And he said, you know, the last game they watched was, you know, beating wolves.
42:48 - 42:54
And it was like a wonderful moment. And it's just, in moments like this, you say, what do you say?
42:54 - 42:59
Because you don't know what to say. And it's absolutely right. There just aren't any words that can be of any use.
42:59 - 43:06
And you just have to be there. And it's just incredibly sad. And life is fragile.
43:06 - 43:13
And you take it for granted. And the things that you get pissed off about are so meaningless, really.
43:13 - 43:21
And you think about, I instantly think about my kids. And then I think about, I spend, you know, months of fortnight just moaning about them on this.
43:21 - 43:29
You know, and all those cliches about, you know, not sweating the small stuff, which was, you can't live by every minute of the day.
43:29 - 43:35
But yeah, it hit me like a train. But like, obviously, my just thoughts are with Justin and his family.
43:35 - 43:38
And he's such a lovely man. And that came across in that episode, you know.
43:38 - 43:43
It really did. And like you say, he put up a photo of the coffee van.
43:43 - 43:54
You know, like it really grounded that episode. The fact that he gets up and he goes to Tesco at one minute past six to buy kilos of bacon.
43:55 - 44:01
As a committed vegan. Yeah. Yeah, totally. When I heard the news, I went to his Instagram page and just, again, nothing to say.
44:01 - 44:08
People were saying nice things and stuff that you should say. But I just gave it a little like.
44:08 - 44:18
And that, I did look back on it today. And he posted a picture of the two of them at Barney and Justin at a Flaming Lips concert.
44:18 - 44:29
And what a transcendent moment that had been. And I did see, like, I mean, this is no real use to anyone, but it's still, it'll mean something at some point.
44:29 - 44:36
The Flaming Lips had left a comment then under. Yeah, I saw it. Yeah. Just saying they're always with him.
44:36 - 44:41
Yeah. Yeah. And it's, so I'm dressed as a lubed up fireman. And it was just in Belgium.
44:42 - 44:50
And you hear this terrible news. You have a moment with your friends. I was lucky to be with Ed and Nish and a few others who knew.
44:50 - 44:59
And then basically the bell goes and you go back to work. Yeah. So you sort of have to compartmentalize those.
44:59 - 45:06
And then actually, that's the thing about this industry, right? We talked on this part about, you know, Stuart Pierce losing his son.
45:07 - 45:13
Yeah. There's another guy who's such a wonderful guy. And then when you're having these sort of really odd conversations, you know, you've got to do a show.
45:14 - 45:21
Like you can't not do the show. And that's your job. And sometimes you don't really want to do it, but you have to do it.
45:21 - 45:25
And then you do it in the way that you would do it, right? Because that's just what else you're going to do.
45:25 - 45:32
And, you know, and if you extrapolate that, obviously that show that we, when we came on and cried about this.
45:33 - 45:39
Yeah. Like what happened in Bondi had happened like three hours earlier. And so I'll be five minutes.
45:40 - 45:50
And that's life, isn't it? You know, you worry about these millions of things and I'm talking to you about this and Jamie is standing outside the glass with a, holding a baby, going like, you're 10 minutes later than you said you would be.
45:51 - 45:54
But, and so you're sort of compartmentalizing that all the time in life, right? Because so much.
45:55 - 46:00
And when people say this, I don't want to build this podcast into anything more than it is, right?
46:00 - 46:03
It is just us saying, what time did you wake up? Do you have an alarm clock?
46:03 - 46:17
Yeah. To lots of people. But, you know, as an escape to like the shit that happens in the world, whether it's close to home, whether it's really personal, whether it is on a much grander scale, we're all compartmentalizing all of that all the time.
46:17 - 46:24
Yeah. In our sort of finite space for compassion and having to also go to the toilet and, you know, make some toast.
46:24 - 46:37
Yeah, exactly. And hear this terrible news and an hour later be dressed as a fireman trying to climb up a roof that's being covered in lube with one of your best friends.
46:38 - 46:43
Yeah, that's what you do. I need to make clear that wasn't the only thing that was.
46:43 - 46:51
It's a very intelligent show with a lot of funny chat. Lou Sanders. Oh, did you say lube?
46:51 - 46:56
I said lube. Oh, inadvertently revealed. Lube Sanders is my favorite. Lube comedians. Oh, no.
46:58 - 47:05
We did it till 10 p.m. And we wrapped and they were able to say that's a wrap on the series.
47:06 - 47:12
Oh, that's good. Having worked on this whole thing. Lubricant and dec. I mean, he's not really a sort of a comedian.
47:12 - 47:25
He's entertainer, isn't he? We all travel back at a people carrier to the hotel, which it being Belgium, the bar is shutting because we want to get a drink.
47:25 - 47:42
And we convinced them to keep it open a little bit longer. And as me and Chloe petts are having a lovely chat, having finished this very fun show on a tough day.
47:42 - 47:50
I see behind the bar. This is just before I go to bed. So this is how we're going to leave this.
47:50 - 48:02
There are statues of famous Belgian people, which is obviously leaning on to the name five famous Belgians, which is a game that people sometimes play.
48:02 - 48:13
And that's why I would like you to mention name three of the people represented in the one, two, three, four, five.
48:13 - 48:20
OK, the six people. There's a statue of a waffle as well. I'm striking that off the list.
48:20 - 48:27
OK, so there are five famous Belgians. The six famous Belgians. There were about 20, but here are six.
48:27 - 48:32
Right. So this is like an episode of QI. Immediately the klaxon goes when I go.
48:33 - 48:43
Tintin, Poirot, Eddie Merckx. Poirot was not up there. Well, I've missed a trick there.
48:44 - 48:50
I've massively missed a trick there. Enzo Schifo. I'm really out now. Yeah, you see, you're going to go straight into footballers.
48:51 - 48:54
I knew this was going to happen. He's the only footballer I would go for Belgium.
48:54 - 49:01
No, he's not there. So Merckx, Tintin, no Poirot. So they're not going to, I mean, it's Maigret.
49:01 - 49:06
You'd go Poirot over May Gray. If I was to say, well, you are against clues.
49:07 - 49:11
I am against clues, yeah. Yeah. Are you starting a quiz, the six famous Belgians?
49:12 - 49:20
No, I'm not. This is just a very specific one. I'm going to give you a little bit of a clue.
49:20 - 49:29
Yeah. Because it's a good statue. And I don't think these two people, it's actually two people together, have ever been commemorated in a statue before.
49:30 - 49:37
This beat is. I thought, is that Daft Punk? Are they not French? No, they're French.
49:37 - 49:46
This beat is. This beat is Technotronic. It's Technotronic. There's a statue of Technotronic. Oh, no.
49:47 - 49:55
David, I am so, I am ashamed of you because if you had said, I'm giving you no clues, and it was two people, we would have been here forever.
49:56 - 50:02
I would have never said Technotronic. And I would have been so happy every week as we got no closer to Technotronic.
50:03 - 50:07
I didn't know they were Belgian. In fact, I didn't really know that was a group.
50:07 - 50:18
I just know the song. I just felt seeing as your son is three feet away, just gazing at you and knocking on a window.
50:18 - 50:27
It would be inappropriate for me to keep you here for four hours as you name Dr. Alban and various dance acts of the early 90s.
50:27 - 50:35
Dr. Alban. A flavor of the WhatsApp group is, when you come out, can you not poo for 45 minutes?
50:35 - 50:40
I just changed Ian's nappy while Willie climbed on my back. I now have them both at Playgroup.
50:41 - 50:46
When do you have them? It's basically 8am, like, dot, dot, dot. That's where we're at.
50:46 - 50:54
If you would like to get in touch with this podcast or volunteer for childcare, this is how to get in touch.
50:56 - 51:02
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
51:02 - 51:09
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
51:09 - 51:19
And if you didn't, please don't. Thanks, David. Thanks, Max. We got through a day.
51:19 - 51:23
We did. If only we had something to finish. It just needs a hook at the end of this.
51:23 - 51:33
It just needs something to make it go. Oh, I wonder what. I was in Brussels recently and I saw a statue of two people in a hotel.
51:35 - 51:39
I'm in it for life, David. Everything is showbiz. Bye.