0:00 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
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Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
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I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello, everybody.
1:02 - 1:06
Welcome to Midweek Mayhem. From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday?
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My name is Max Rushden, and alongside me is David O'Doherty. I just think it'd be funny if I didn't say anything for the whole episode.
1:17 - 1:28
Wow, okay. I know this doesn't really work because it's a purely audio medium, and dead air is a crime, but I was just thinking, like, how?
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Not even just, monosyllabic answers to the inane stuff. It just may be an occasional nod or something like that.
1:37 - 1:44
I mean, calling this excellent correspondence from our wonderful audience inane stuff, I think, is your first mistake.
1:44 - 1:52
And also, it's your yesterday. So, like, I'm all on board with trying new ideas, but that is going to be sort of like an experimental.
1:52 - 1:58
Are we ready to go experimental on this part? I don't know. I just think it would become the thing that defines our podcast.
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Have you heard the podcast with Max from Guardian Football and the guy who doesn't say anything.
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It's interesting you bring up, you know, Max, just that football guy. Because we've had more correspondence on that subject.
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But it's not you that's the problem. It's actually Mars Bar. This is a big issue.
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Go on. Well, Owen wrote this. I first got alluded to, a couple of people sent me a message on Instagram, but I didn't really believe it.
2:24 - 2:29
But Owen writes, Gentleman, long-time emailing in to any podcast. I'm in what I imagine is a
2:30 - 2:34
Small group of listeners who listen to the Guardian Football Weekly, What Did You Do Yesterday, Parenting Hell, and Quickly Kevin.
2:34 - 2:41
So I was intrigued when on a recent Today's As of Writing, Parenting Hell podcast, the conversation turned to underwear.
2:41 - 2:51
Michael, slash Mars Bar, was eventually asked what underwear he wore, because he also produces our lesser sister podcast, Parenting Hell.
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Good luck to those up-and-comers. It was eventually asked what underwear he wore, and did he wear Calvin Klein's, like one of the hosts of Parenting Hell.
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He admitted that he used to, but in fact recently changed his underwear allegiance. This got me interested.
3:03 - 3:11
Would we be about to get a rare crossing of the podcast streams? I listened more carefully, putting down the small child's food that I was preparing that could wait.
3:11 - 3:18
More important things were afoot. Indeed, Michael did say that someone had recommended Lululemon's to him.
3:18 - 3:25
He now wore them for sporting activities. I waited further to see if he would credit the host of What Did You Do Yesterday, but at last the conversation moved on.
3:25 - 3:38
He'd failed to attribute this piece of advice to anyone. As a listener to What Did You Do Yesterday since the start, I was surprised to hear that Michael didn't credit Max or David with the recommendation, given how much they all got paid for advertising Lululemon's.
3:38 - 3:45
The only assumption that I can make is that he is ashamed to admit to his more popular podcast friends that he produces What Did You Do Yesterday.
3:45 - 3:50
I hope this is not the case, as What Did You Do Yesterday may be his finest work so far.
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Anyway, just wanted an excuse to say I love the pod, especially the Teddington quiz.
3:53 - 3:56
Best quiz so far. Long may it live. Everything is showbiz. In it for life.
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Owen, Kieran writes, Hello, Max David and my fellow BOC listeners. I adore listening to both of your weekly pods during my never-ending pushchair walks with my 10-month-old who treats napping like it's an optional side quest he absolutely refuses to complete.
4:10 - 4:18
I will confess, after I've drained every last second of your shows, yes, Kieran, I sometimes wander off to other pods for a little variety.
4:18 - 4:26
So there I was, listening to Parenting Hell, Season 11, Episode 30, when around the 22-minute mark, the lads started discussing boxer shorts.
4:26 - 4:33
Rob Beckett is passionately declaring that a new brand of boxers has changed his life, while Josh reacts with all the enthusiasm of a man staring at beige wallpaper.
4:33 - 4:38
They then ask producer Mars Bar what he wears. He announces he's now a Tom Ford man.
4:38 - 4:45
Someone's doing all right. But twice a week for football, he goes Lululemon, recommended apparently by, quote, someone.
4:45 - 4:58
Excuse me, someone? It's not someone, is it, Mars Bar? It's in fact Max and David, the hosts of your other hit pod, What Did You Do Yesterday, who have mentioned Lululemon so many times that their PR team has retired early and is currently drinking cocktails
4:58 - 5:06
in the Northern Mariana islands. I would simply like Mars Bar to explain why he is too ashamed to name-drop the pod that is clearly the centre of the known universe.
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And while we're at it, recently David described Max as some football man. Are you all secretly ashamed of each other?
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Is this a podcast love triangle where nobody will publicly hold hands? Eagerly await your response.
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I'm in this for life. Kieran, Mars Bar, are you ashamed to be linked to this podcast?
5:22 - 5:34
Well, firstly, Kieran, was it, the first one? Yeah, Owen and Kieran. So Kieran, he likes the teddington quiz, so his view and opinion is instantly moot.
5:34 - 5:40
Don't care about him. The second guy, what I will say is, obviously I produce a number of shows.
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Thank you for all of your feedback, listeners, on this. It's been, I say, verging on harassment in my inbox at times in the last week. Good.
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Now, I speak less on this show than I do on the other shows. Yeah, know your place.
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Know your place, Mars Bar. One of the reasons, I didn't chip in during the previous Lululemon discussion on this chat, is because it wasn't really my space for it.
6:04 - 6:08
However, the reason I didn't say it was you guys is because it wasn't you guys.
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My friend Cody recommended me Lululemon probably a good year beforehand, so it would be disingenuous of me to have said Max and Dave.
6:18 - 6:26
Such a made-up name. You know, it's like, what's your girlfriend's name? You know, Veronica or something like that.
6:26 - 6:30
No one's called that. You wouldn't know him. He goes to a different podcast school.
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So I couldn't say it was you guys because it wasn't. And then I never like name-dropping civilians into podcasts.
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So I appreciate the sort of rabid fan base and how they've rallied around this podcast.
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Simply, it just wasn't the case. I think it's interesting, David, that, you know, at no point did Mars Bar say to us, do you know what was a coincidence?
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I was recommended Lululemon. I mean, like, if I was in a WhatsApp group with you and one other person with two people who are both going on and on and on in a WhatsApp group about Lululemon fans,
7:02 - 7:09
I would find it weird not to chip in with, I was recommended these years ago by my friend Cody, Cody Gakpo.
7:09 - 7:28
He said, you know, the Liverpool player. All I can add, though, to this, with respect to Mars Bar, it was actually Guy Montgomery, as if you trace this right back, New Zealand comedian Guy Montgomery was the one who introduced the Lululemons to the pod
7:28 - 7:43
My question to you, though, Max, is in your other podcast, your Ashes podcast with Jeff Lemon, have you made the are you related to Lululemon joke that was suggested by one of the listeners in the comments for that?
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No, it's interesting. Such was the England performance, although it was quite a funny podcast.
7:49 - 7:57
It seems crowbarred because I don't think Jeff Lemon listens to this podcast. And so to go is your brother.
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And I know him. Like, I think we've got good chemistry, but it's early in our podcast relationship.
8:01 - 8:07
I don't want to try the joke. How's your sister Lulu getting on? You know, I will try it by the end.
8:07 - 8:11
I promise. But it's interesting you mentioned that. And OK, we think you're forgiven, Mars Bar.
8:11 - 8:15
But look, you know, this is a worrying situation. I'm just a football guy to David.
8:15 - 8:20
We're just someone to you. Clearly, I'm the one here who really cares. But it's OK.
8:20 - 8:34
Oh, my goodness. Firstly, I do care. I get up at an obscene hour in the morning to hang out with you guys whilst in New York but I was not on that Guy Montgomery record so I wasn't even there for the genesis of that chat.
8:34 - 8:40
And I personally, in a social situation, think it's weird to piggyback a conversation that I wasn't there for.
8:40 - 8:45
OK. So to come in that late in the game is, I think it's just a bit odd and awkward.
8:45 - 8:54
Could you just, for the record, Mars Bar, every time now you buy a pair of pants, whatever they make, just let us know in the WhatsApp group.
8:54 - 9:02
Well, this morning, genuinely, I flew back from New York today, and I made the mistake of packing too far ahead of time.
9:02 - 9:07
Right. And I've packed all of my clean underwear, and I can't be bothered to go into the cases.
9:07 - 9:13
So I now, I'm currently sat in a pair of jogging bottoms, commando, because I have no clean underwear.
9:13 - 9:17
So I have to go out onto the streets of New York after this and buy a new pair of underwear to travel.
9:17 - 9:26
If either of you would like to recommend a pair or a brand, I will specifically buy that pair just to keep you happy, just to show you guys that I like you.
9:26 - 9:29
I don't really have one. I just get one. Yeah, I've never really thought about it.
9:29 - 9:37
They're all the same, pretty much. Interestingly, we used to ask, me and Barry on the radio, we used to do a questionnaire for footballers called, I think called Footballers on Ice,
9:37 - 9:44
and we'd say, what kind of pant do you prefer? When Barry asked Pat Jennings this, he felt desperately ashamed because Pat Jennings is 75.
9:44 - 9:57
It just didn't seem right. Anyway, okay, we draw a line under it. Well, I just, the question I would have for listeners who cross over from Mars Bars two big podcasts is just,
9:58 - 10:08
some are raising the fact that Mars Bar claims he was in Teddington recently, and he saw a comedian putting up a poster and a premiership footballer, and who were they?
10:08 - 10:17
I just, there is some crossover in the thought. Now, the Andy Zaltzman episode was great, and it's interesting you mentioned the ashes, because a lot of people got in touch with this.
10:17 - 10:22
We were working out with Andy, you know, if he could do his quiz, because when would his episode be going out?
10:22 - 10:35
And I said the line, by the time this goes out, the ashes would have started two days ago, and hopefully England are doing, and literally, as it was released, England had just been absolutely obliterated in two days of this test match.
10:35 - 10:43
TNG says, Max, don't ever become a proper sports pundit. Oliver says, Hilarious hearing. Max says he hopes the cricket is going well the morning after that calamity took place.
10:43 - 10:47
On a separate note, Kieran says, Great episode. I happen to be playing golf by myself.
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Listening to the pod was very thought-provoking, where there aren't more goth winners of majors.
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It's true. It affected my game, dropped three shots from too much laughing. So thank you.
11:01 - 11:06
I think lots of people loved the Andy Zaltzman pod. The way he wakes up in the morning is just so on brand.
11:06 - 11:14
And the way he goes to sleep, having played the most obscure, forgotten version of snooker that's ever existed.
11:14 - 11:19
If ever there's a man who should live in a house with a turret, it's Andy Zaltzman.
11:19 - 11:27
Who knew that? Actually, if you go on everythingisshowbiz.com, bagatelle is the fourth most popular sport on that website.
11:28 - 11:33
Liz says, hello, I thought I'd email in defense of Max specifically his excellent quiz formats.
11:33 - 11:48
Thank you, Liz. Last weekend, I found myself in the undeniably appalling situation whereby I had to entertain my 13 year old daughter while we waited in the dark, freezing cold, pouring rain for my husband to walk down the town high street as part of a lantern parade.
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The joys of being married to a primary school teacher. Having exhausted the usual material.
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I turned to think of a thing with my daughter having first choice. I started to, guess an hour and 40 minutes later, I'd still not guessed correctly.
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We were soaked through my coat at 24 hours to dry out, but our spirits were still high.
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Having finished the parade, my husband joined us for the walk back to the car.
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I typically explain the very few rules to him. 13 year old has thought of something.
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We have to guess what it is, but you can't ask questions, but she's accidentally revealed the letter M doesn't feature in it.
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A few seconds of silence. He asked, is it apple pie? Yes. She replied. And the game was over.
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Well, everything is showbiz. Now we think of a thing. You can ask questions, but you can ask questions.
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So maybe I've not explained that it's going to be a great TV show. I just think, you know, Osmond listens.
12:41 - 12:47
I'm waiting for him to option it for television. So when your friend guessed Prunella scales.
12:47 - 12:53
Oh, what a moment. Yeah. What clues? Yeah. Was it, was this person in faulty towers?
12:53 - 12:57
No, no, no. I said, I've thought of a thing. And he said, is it Prunella scales?
12:57 - 13:02
Like, off the bat, probably the most amazing thing that has ever happened in the world.
13:02 - 13:08
Yeah, but it does. You know what? I'll probably happen there. Like Derren Brown would understand it.
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You just driven past a weights and measures factory that said, try our new scales.
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You know what I mean? And it had been put into both of your minds.
13:19 - 13:25
Yeah. I mean, I can't, we, I think we've been driving through the forests of Western Australia at the time.
13:25 - 13:35
So I don't think there were, any weights and scales factories. No, but what happened was a Spanish waiter ran across the road, shouting, Mr.
13:35 - 13:42
Fawlty, Mr. Fawlty. Yeah, there was that. Yeah. Yeah, of course. And John Cleese was in the back seat on the left.
13:42 - 13:56
Dominic says, eggs. Dear David, Max and Mars bar. While listening to the excellent, uh, Ania Magliano episode the other week, eggs was once again, the yesterday breakfast of choice.
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Though five eggs is, a mighty hefty breakfast. You're, you quite rightly informed Ania and reminded listeners that Joanne McNally started the day with six.
14:04 - 14:19
And this got me thinking, assuming six daily eggs is still on the menu. This means that since that episode has aired, Joanne McNally would have consumed 1,626 eggs at the time of writing this.
14:19 - 14:29
I work in public health and throughout the year, we run a number of health campaigns like stoptober, which encourages people to stop, smoking during the month of October.
14:29 - 14:32
Quite often the tabloid press would kindly run a story to help promote the campaign.
14:32 - 14:37
And often you'll hear about people who've been smoking for 20 years and what the effects that would bring on the body.
14:37 - 14:47
If they were to then suddenly stop. It would describe what happens to the body after one or two days of stopping and provide an overview of the positive health and financial impact for someone six months,
14:47 - 14:59
a year later, et cetera. Now in 20 years time, after Joanne McNally has consumed 43,830 eggs, imagine if Joanne just stopped.
14:59 - 15:10
Has anyone ever consumed that many eggs and just stopped? All I know is the scientific community and well, the world would be watching on that morning when Joanne decides to skip breakfast for the first time in 20 years.
15:10 - 15:25
How will the body react? No one knows. What I do know though, that after stopping and through fairly crude maths calculation, which allowed for inflation, Joanne in 2045 will be around 1,624 pounds,
15:25 - 15:30
25 P a year better off by just, just cutting eggs out of her diet. But health wise, who knows?
15:30 - 15:47
Love the pod. Please tour in Bristol next year. Thank you, Dominic. Take for example, the classic David Helen copter breakfast, which is chopped banana on the peanut buttery bread with honey and a salt little shake on top.
15:47 - 15:56
Yeah. By 2045, we will, those bananas will go around the earth five times. It doesn't necessarily - you've got to eat something.
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But it is a lot of eggs. It is a lot of eggs. Fine. But my point is the BOE would be filled.
16:06 - 16:16
It might even be an SOE, a swimming pool of eggs, to be honest. Mike says, hi, I can't help but notice how much lemon and lemony things come up on the podcast.
16:16 - 16:22
Your head obviously goes to Lululemons, but surely there aren't that many mentions of lemon things, right?
16:22 - 16:28
Well, strap in. This is long. I'll do it quickly. I'll do it like the, the countries and they're just normal countries.
16:28 - 16:34
Okay. Ivo Graham has a lunch, which is a salad that he covers in lemon, sesame oil and soy sauce.
16:34 - 16:38
Richard Osman for lunch has a side salad of leaves with a lovely drop of lemon on top.
16:38 - 16:45
Amy Gledhill talks about eating lemon bonbons. Joanne McNally obviously talks about her Lululemons. Omid Jalili for dinner makes garlic mayonnaise with lots of lemon and olive oil.
16:45 - 16:51
Midweek Mayhem, early April. David talks about the Helen Copter making a pasta dish she put in lemony stuff.
16:51 - 16:58
Nadia Shireen makes a lemon garlic potatoes for dinner. Midweek Mayhem, late April. David says Helen Copter has signed up to receive fruit and veg from a farm.
16:58 - 17:02
Weirdly, there's a lemon in the box. Esther Monito has a lemon and lime ice pot.
17:02 - 17:07
Matthew Crosby suggests using a lemon instead of a Finish quantum in his Christmas dinner dishwasher concept.
17:07 - 17:17
Gary Lineker only buys British fruit and vegetables, including quote, beautiful British lemons. Cariad Lloyd talks about her crumble recipe, which includes putting the raw apples in a pan with a bitter of sugar and lemon.
17:17 - 17:23
Tom Basden mentions lemon bonbons. Midweek Mayhem in July. Max is under the weather, so he makes a hot lemon and honey.
17:23 - 17:27
Ross Noble talks about cranberry juice stain. God, did he fucking talk about cranberry juice stain?
17:27 - 17:33
On a bench that he couldn't get out. David hypothesizes that something must easily get out like you put lemon juice on it or something.
17:33 - 17:38
Midweek Mayhem in September. David talks about being on holiday in France. He grabs a lemonade from the fridge.
17:38 - 17:43
In the same episode, Mars Bar refers to the Teddington footballer comedian quiz as being like limoncello.
17:43 - 17:46
At the end of a meal, you don't want it, but you're obliged to drink it.
17:46 - 17:53
Chris McCausland talks about bizarre flavored fruit Kit Kats from Japan. Some fans outside the gig have bought it while obviously it's lemon flavored.
17:53 - 17:59
Midweek Mayhem, early October. A weird drink concoction is created called Bee Fizz. Lemon juice is suggested as an ingredient.
17:59 - 18:05
Alison Spittle talks about the ingredients in her eggs, tarragon, lemon, yogurt, and garlic. Midweek Mayhem, mid-October.
18:05 - 18:11
Max talks about going to meet his friend Dave, the osteopath. Dave offers him a can of hooch, which Max refers to as alcoholic lemonade.
18:11 - 18:16
Midweek Mayhem, a week later, Max talks about accidentally lowering his TalkSport headphones into a boiling cup of honey and lemon.
18:16 - 18:21
Ania Magliano is downstairs with a selection of drinks. Max and David are guessing what the drinks are.
18:21 - 18:26
David suggests warm water. Max jumps in and obviously suggests with maybe some lemon. Justin Morehouse drives a Citroen.
18:27 - 18:34
But I think that might be pushing it. When I started a new Ashes Weekly podcast with a bloke called Jeff Lemon, I thought, come on, mate, give lemons a rest.
18:34 - 18:43
But what is the implication here that we are in some way paid by the man from Del Monte?
18:43 - 18:48
We're in the pocket of big lemon. That's what we are. We've got to admit it.
18:48 - 18:57
Thank you so much, Mike, for doing all of that. Is there any other topic that the listeners are particularly vexed by that we seem to be mentioning?
18:57 - 19:08
Like lemons, good. Literally the word zest comes from it. You just want a boring turgid podcast where everyone just has three Weetabix's.
19:08 - 19:13
No disrespect for their breakfast. I mean, you're going to get lemons and eggs on you.
19:13 - 19:17
If you're talking about people's yesterdays, they're going to be in there. Alison in Birmingham.
19:17 - 19:27
Finally, dear David Max and Mars Bar, on a recent episode of midweek mayhem, Max described going over to his neighbor's house to play swing ball with Ian while he was there.
19:27 - 19:35
He took it upon himself to root through their kitchen cupboards and help himself to a tin of kidney beans, proclaiming he'd had no time to go to the supermarket and justifying his theft.
19:35 - 19:42
He then went immediately to Coles, the supermarket where they no doubt sell kidney beans.
19:42 - 19:53
Disappointed that David didn't pick up on this inconsistency. I can only assume he'd zoned out listening to Max's repetitive day, listening in hope that we get to hear about another Melbourne local league football match soon.
19:53 - 19:57
Perhaps the most exciting episode to date yours for life. Everything is showbiz. Alison in Birmingham.
19:57 - 20:03
That is a good point. Well made. And I think I have confessed. I said, we owe you.
20:03 - 20:11
I've said to our neighbors, Rollo and Macarena that we owe them a tin of kidney beans, but I don't believe I've replaced them yet.
20:11 - 20:18
Yeah. And you will have noticed also the three other people who had lent you keys, just in case we ever lose our keys.
20:18 - 20:24
It'd be great if one of the neighbors had a set, have called over in the last week being like, sorry, we actually need those keys back.
20:24 - 20:30
I've lost my keys. Just good. You are a thief. They've heard about it. Let's play.
20:30 - 20:43
They're just normal countries. Yeah. I am the one and only. What country could I be?
20:43 - 20:57
I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be? Pete says, dear football fellow from the Guardian and everyone else.
20:57 - 21:01
More proof if it was needed that what did you do yesterday is the center of the known universe.
21:01 - 21:12
Enya's manager has told me that she told him to tell you that Max only needs to consult the lyrics of her 1981 hit, Orinoco Flow.
21:12 - 21:25
It was 81. I thought it was about 87. Anyway, to know all he needs to know about Palau, a Pacific nation of which he displayed some ignorance, have attached said lyrics in Enya's own handwriting.
21:25 - 21:30
Sail away, sail away, sail away, and he has sent me the lyrics in Enya's handwriting.
21:30 - 21:37
And it says from Basau to Palau in the shade of the data from Fiji to to read that.
21:37 - 21:49
Anyway, thank you so much. That's my go to. It's not on karaoke very often, but if it ever is, it's a really good one just because no one cares about the verses and
21:49 - 21:54
everyone is just gearing up for that. It's even more sweet Caroline than sweet Caroline.
21:54 - 21:58
That's such a great idea because obviously no, no one would ever pick it either.
21:58 - 22:02
So like it's, you get to do flouncy dancing while you're doing it as well.
22:02 - 22:06
Nice. I think my favorite is two of you do don't let the sun go down on me.
22:06 - 22:10
And so someone does the foot, like all of it. And then just goes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
22:10 - 22:23
Elton John. Previous guesses, Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Mariana Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino.
22:23 - 22:30
Correct. Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican, Silicon City, Oman, Fiji. Correct. Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands.
22:30 - 22:39
Correct. Belarus, Palau, Aruba. Okay. Here we go. This is from Rie, Rie in San Francisco, California.
22:39 - 22:46
Hey, Rie. Hi, gang. I love the pod. I must say I've been rather disappointed with the trajectory of They're Just Normal Countries submissions.
22:46 - 22:51
With Curdle, I was delighted and surprised by the guesses as I'd never heard of most of the cheeses.
22:51 - 22:56
So I learn a little something every week. With They're Just Normal Countries, I think the listeners have missed the mark a bit.
22:56 - 23:05
Picking seemingly more obscure countries every week. The Northern Mariana Islands, for example, are not only not a normal country, but not a country at all.
23:05 - 23:18
They're a Commonwealth of the US. First issue, normal to whom? My eye and mind listeners that the normalness of the countries is being evaluated by Mars Bar, a middle-aged British man who loves football and who is ashamed of this podcast.
23:18 - 23:29
She didn't write that bit. I don't know whether Mars Bar is an avid traveler, but I think it's reasonable to assume that he's developed a familiarity with countries that frequently qualify for the various international leagues.
23:29 - 23:37
Next issue, predominant language. The scientists from a previous guest had a good approach to choosing a country based on languages spoken there.
23:37 - 23:49
But given that even very small English-speaking countries like Brunei and Eswatini have more than one listener, the countries in question must not have English as an official language, both because that would make a homegrown listenership more likely,
23:49 - 23:53
as well as making the country more appealing for English-speaking tourists to go and give the pod a download.
23:53 - 23:58
Unlike Mars Bar, I do not have an extensive knowledge, of global football teams and leagues.
23:58 - 24:03
I must rely on my experience as a 10-year-old, when my school held a simulated FIFA World Cup tournament.
24:03 - 24:18
I therefore submit Ecuador. Mars Bar, is Ecuador a normal country? How many listens in Ecuador?
24:18 - 24:25
I'm going to say 111. So at the time that we started this quiz, which I think is a key point.
24:26 - 24:36
I keep stressing for recent guesses. There's people that have gone on holiday, since we started this quiz and said, I listened to an episode whilst on holiday.
24:36 - 24:42
They don't understand that that data is irrelevant. It's from when we started the quiz, whenever this was in the summer.
24:42 - 24:55
So at that point in time, Ecuador had 294 listens. Because people in the Galapagos, you know, it's just everyone listening to that, while covered in blue-footed boobies.
24:56 - 25:02
That's happening. And those old tortoises. So there we are. So incorrect. So the board is open to the entire world.
25:02 - 25:07
Three countries down, and we've got a month to go, almost exactly until the cheese board returns.
25:07 - 25:14
Oh my God, it's so exciting. I wouldn't be surprised if there's been a huge uptick in Faroe Islands.
25:14 - 25:25
Now that wouldn't be difficult, considering it was at one. But I suspect a lot of people who go to the Faroe Islands now, and are vaguely have heard of this podcast,
25:25 - 25:31
would be like, I am going to listen. You know, something in them makes them listen to an episode.
25:31 - 25:37
I think it could be up to eight or nine now. He is hoping. Hey, David, what did you, what time did you wake up yesterday?
25:37 - 25:50
Well, Max, yesterday was a day of intense accomplishment, tasks, and preempting the great list that I was about to undertake.
25:50 - 25:57
I woke up at 645 entirely on my own accord with the, the earliest you've ever woken up.
25:57 - 26:11
Yes, it is. It's very, very early to the point where, because we're coming towards our shortest day here, you know, in a few weeks, you can't even tell by light what time it is yet.
26:11 - 26:20
I can tell that the morning radiator comes on at seven and I could sense with my nose that it hadn't come on yet.
26:20 - 26:28
And it was pitch black. Do you smell heat? You smell the heat. Well, you can tell, you can tell when this is a Victorian house.
26:28 - 26:33
It's the dust behind the radiator. I know. It's hard to dust behind a radiator.
26:33 - 26:42
I'm not, it's not a criticism. I wouldn't come round like four in a bed and start, you know, like putting a, I don't know, a wire wool brush down the back of your radiator to find dust.
26:42 - 26:50
In fairness, Helen Copter does not care about my day of relentless accomplishment that I'm about to undertake.
26:50 - 26:57
Right. So I elect not to wake her up and tell her that I am, in fact, awake.
26:57 - 27:12
I put my phone down to very low light and have a little look. I've received a lot of messages regarding the Teddington quiz that will be coming up at the end of this.
27:12 - 27:23
Yeah. But the brain is starting to think about that, if I'm honest. See, the thing is, you don't realize that I know how to make a great quiz because the Teddington quiz,
27:23 - 27:28
and I'm sad that it might be coming to an end. Not that I'm saying it might, but I'm worried.
27:28 - 27:34
I see what you're doing there. Do you ever play pool in a pub with old lads?
27:34 - 27:47
Yeah. And you have a tricky mid table pot to end the game. And the old guy, cause he's seen a million of you city kids come through this pub fully puts the queue back in the rack.
27:47 - 27:56
Yeah. Which just puts impossible levels of pressure. That's what you say. And unfortunately it will be over soon.
27:56 - 28:04
Now, because while I have a guess after my day, it could be one of a few, to be honest.
28:04 - 28:10
Anyway, we'll, we'll deal with that when the time comes. We will. Okay. So you're thinking about the teddington quiz, but you have other things to do.
28:10 - 28:17
Yeah. I will make breakfast for the Helen copter. I didn't do overnight oats. I'll make the classic.
28:17 - 28:27
I bought a big old sourdough the day before I slice into it. You got your peanut butter.
28:27 - 28:37
You got your banana. You got, it's a good one. I make coffee. I realized from a family gathering recently that everyone thinks that I make weak coffee.
28:37 - 28:43
Oh yeah. It's like a thing in the family that in the WhatsApp group, you're not in.
28:43 - 28:46
No, not around at the David's for another cup of piss. That kind of thing.
28:46 - 28:53
Someone holds up the cafeteria. I can see daylight through it. And I was like, Oh, David special or whatever.
28:53 - 29:00
Oh yeah. Okay. Sort of slow motion. Oh, I see all their distorted faces all going like, ha ha ha.
29:00 - 29:11
You idiot. So I basically almost like a bath bomb. I put in an entire cube of Levatsa into this.
29:11 - 29:18
This is going to bankrupt me, but I'm going to put at least 40 scoops of coffee.
29:18 - 29:25
You need a cherry picker to push the French press down. Like, did you ever get one of those t-shirts?
29:26 - 29:33
That comes in the size of a sugar cube and you put it in water and it gradually dissolves.
29:33 - 29:39
That's what my coffee is going to be like. Right. We send Helen Copter off to work.
29:39 - 29:51
And so it begins. Got it. Keys, need to get keys cut. Okay. A really nice man runs the key cutting place around the corner.
29:51 - 30:03
And I don't think he really feels the pressure of Timson's breathing down his neck because he hasn't branched into any of the various side hustles that Timson's do.
30:03 - 30:11
Right. No shoes. There's no shoe stuff in there. No fob replacement. No dry cleaning.
30:11 - 30:16
I think some Timsons might do dry cleaning as well. He's just pure keys. He's pure keys.
30:16 - 30:23
And he's also, this is the biggest flex of all. I think he's just Tuesday to Friday as well.
30:23 - 30:27
He's in it for the love. He's just in it. Oh, he is absolutely elite.
30:27 - 30:35
Really fun watching him, a little key machine, isn't it? That's a fun old zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, looking up at the keys.
30:35 - 30:43
Do you know what? I went to get some keys cut for the London flat and they didn't have the right keys in Australia.
30:43 - 30:55
So I couldn't get some keys cut. Oh, quite interesting. International key news. Yeah. A few times I've been staying in like a place for the Edinburgh fringe.
30:55 - 31:03
Will this get me into trouble? I don't think so. And you go to the legitimate key place and you say, can you copy that?
31:03 - 31:08
And they say, oh no, we're not allowed to copy these ones because it's got a serial number on it.
31:08 - 31:13
And then you go really? And they go take it to the guy around the corner.
31:13 - 31:18
And then you go to dodgy keys and they will cut it. God, dodgy keys.
31:18 - 31:24
No such issues with this. I leave the keys with them and I say, I'll be back in an hour.
31:24 - 31:28
I have to do tasks. An hour. I mean, is he like, is he got a backlog?
31:28 - 31:32
Cause only a, cutting a key takes, unless he's, does he do it by hand?
31:32 - 31:39
Cause he's like an old school. I am a very busy executive. I understand. I understand.
31:39 - 31:43
Okay. I got to get a new phone, Max. I got to get a new phone.
31:43 - 31:51
That's so annoying. The old phone, the battery life has just been coming down and down and I am due a new phone.
31:51 - 31:58
Now upgrade doesn't mean the same as in the past. Which meant you got it for free.
31:58 - 32:03
No, you have to sign up for another like 25 years. Yeah. And, and pay dough as well.
32:03 - 32:13
And I get the new iPhone or no, I don't get the new iPhone. I get the last iPhone and there doesn't seem to be any advancements.
32:13 - 32:25
I remember that era. Am I talking about maybe 2003 - 2010? Yeah. Like it halved in weight and like snake, the snake, when you played snake, the head eyes on the snake, you know,
32:25 - 32:34
those, those things. Yeah. Camera, even the camera. And then it was internet. And then it was, yeah, George Foreman grill or whatever it is.
32:34 - 32:44
This seems inferior. I've got the 16 instead of the 15. And it's got a little black box across the top of it.
32:44 - 32:50
That that's blocking. Like I don't see a single advance max. I don't get it.
32:50 - 32:55
Yes. I mean, I, when I'm in that shop, I just want to get out as quickly as I can.
32:55 - 33:02
And they're like, do you want this or this 0.1 or 0.2? And I just say, I just don't care.
33:02 - 33:12
I want to just give me the cheapest thing that will work. You know, I feel, was there an era where you'd go into the electrical shop in the airport and
33:12 - 33:20
there would be a genuine advancement, you know, there'd be something incredible. Are you saying humanity has stalled is what you're saying.
33:20 - 33:30
We've stalled. Think about it this way. The car today, granted there's electric cars, but they're pretty much the same as cars from the fifties.
33:30 - 33:38
This is as close to two men sitting in a pub after four pints of mild, basically say it's not as good as it is.
33:38 - 33:46
Nothing's changed guys. They offer me, they say, do you want insurance? No, I'm not an idiot.
33:46 - 33:50
And then they say, well, do you want to cover? And then I'm like, how much are your covers?
33:50 - 33:55
60 quid for a bit of plastic around the corner. You can get one for a go around.
33:55 - 33:59
And he does it in front of you. And it's really fun to watch. Yeah.
33:59 - 34:08
I go to a man called Mr. iPhone. Yeah. What a fluke that coincidence with that name in the biz.
34:08 - 34:19
We then go to TK Maxx to get a quilt for my parents who we've had a bit of a cold snap here in Dublin.
34:19 - 34:28
And they seem at the great age. They are to be betwixt, either being too hot or too cold all of the time.
34:28 - 34:37
I have in the past got them very warm things. Whereas in fact, I think they might want the nice middle ground of just a quilt.
34:37 - 34:41
Is this on their bed or is this just for sort of like sitting on the sofa?
34:41 - 34:52
Ah, for the bed. Yes. Got it. Okay. Okay. While standing in the kind of galley waiting for the cash desk to become available.
34:52 - 35:01
It's like till number seven, till number five, I suddenly remember, I think I might have a voucher for this place in my wallet.
35:01 - 35:11
Stop it. Okay. It's actually, it just looks like a credit card and there is a certain degree of risk when I get to the counter.
35:11 - 35:17
So I look at my phone, what's the pin number to activate this? It's still there, but is it going to work?
35:17 - 35:26
And what a moment it says pin. Okay. And then it says authorizing and then wheelie, wheelie, wheelie, wheelie, wheelie.
35:26 - 35:33
And then it says paid. Yes. You get it for free. Well, essentially I got it for free.
35:33 - 35:37
Yeah. The benevolence of the voucher is what paid for it. Well done voucher. Beautiful.
35:37 - 35:44
How did you end up with a TK Maxx voucher? Is that the most interesting question ever asked on a podcast?
35:44 - 35:57
I think I did a charity gig and didn't, take a fee for it. Okay.
35:57 - 36:03
But like a benefit gig for some great cause. And they said, well, thank you very much.
36:03 - 36:07
Here's a TK Maxx voucher. I think the voucher is usable in a few different shops.
36:07 - 36:12
However, I understood. Okay. Problem is I don't know how much the voucher is for.
36:12 - 36:17
Yeah. And I don't know how much is left on it, but okay. That's another adventure.
36:17 - 36:25
69 quid. So that's come off it. You might have 50 grand on that. You just don't know.
36:25 - 36:35
For a charity gig. Was it in Riyadh? Was it the Riyadh? Oh yeah. That would be very funny.
36:35 - 36:43
If turned out the Riyadh comedy festival had paid everyone in TK Maxx vouchers. 550,000 pounds of TK Maxx vouchers.
36:43 - 36:56
Bill Burr is getting everyone the Sweden football team anorak from 2016 this year.
36:56 - 37:14
I go back, pick up the keys. Oh yeah. Touch base at home. Now there comes, this really ties into the essence of what we were about.
37:14 - 37:23
Do you know what? I've lost my ear pods. Oh, no way. So do you know how I'm going to find them?
37:23 - 37:28
Oh yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. In your phone. Oh, hang on. Are they connected to your new phone?
37:28 - 37:30
Are you still at your old phone? I still got the old phone. I'm all right.
37:30 - 37:36
Cause we're about to do that. Really boring. Which language do you want? Hello. Do you want to enable Siri?
37:36 - 37:40
Fuck off. So, okay. So you go to find my phone, find my ear pods.
37:40 - 37:47
The problem. I, I don't want to brag, but this house has two stories. Yeah.
37:47 - 37:55
Well done. And so all I'm being told is it's now, I don't know how accurate the, the satellite.
37:55 - 38:01
They're pretty amazing. Like now I'm complacent about the air pods. I can get the exact room.
38:01 - 38:04
I can like, you can really zoom in, but I see you're on one floor or another.
38:04 - 38:09
So you, you know where it is in a sort of longitude, but you don't know which floor it's on.
38:09 - 38:18
I understand. And get this, something that I'd never thought of before. It's basically going through my wardrobe, which is a large thing.
38:18 - 38:24
And then down onto where all the jackets are underneath. But have you played sound?
38:25 - 38:31
Have you done play sound? It won't play the sound. I don't know. It says sound thing, not enabled on them.
38:31 - 38:40
I think the sound thing might only work if you're looking for one that is out of the dental floss pod that they live in.
38:40 - 38:44
Whereas this is the two of them sitting in it. You've lost the box and the thing.
38:44 - 38:48
They're all together. Yes. As a family. Right. Okay. At least they've got each other.
38:48 - 38:54
Right. Sorry. I have collected the keys as well on the way back. Just. Yeah.
38:54 - 39:02
For people angry about that. Now, Helen copters sent me up the street now from work.
39:02 - 39:12
So have you found the AirPods? No, I spend an hour and I start looking in shoes, stuff like that.
39:12 - 39:17
Like how the hell. So we are trying to flog this place at the moment.
39:17 - 39:34
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a lot of tidying going on and a lot of bad tidying where you just, rather than put the 10 things in their respective places, you just shove them all in a wardrobe together because people looking at the place,
39:34 - 39:44
aren't going to open the wardrobe. Surely. Weirdly, one of the wardrobes was open the other day, but could one of them have nicked the AirPods?
39:44 - 39:50
No, because you can see them on the find my AirPods. Correct. They are in the house.
39:50 - 40:03
They're in there, but I can't find them. It's so frustrating. I spent an hour and I undertake the project with too many coats on because I'm thinking this will take three minutes.
40:03 - 40:11
Yeah. And now I'm annoyed and sweaty. Yeah. And how many coats cursing at all your coats?
40:11 - 40:15
It's not, it's all my coats are in the downstairs, but all of my clothes are in the upstairs.
40:15 - 40:27
And this is like a sort of built in wardrobe thing. Basically most of the stuff I own and they're somewhere within that, if any of the listeners have any suggestions,
40:27 - 40:32
you still haven't found them. No, still haven't found them. Oh wow. Yeah. It's incredibly annoying.
40:32 - 40:41
And part of the reason why I got the new phone was because the old phone, I got the pluggy in headphones, the ones with the string.
40:41 - 40:47
Yeah. And the bit where you plug in doesn't really, it's got a lot of bum fluff up there.
40:47 - 40:59
So it keeps knocking the headphones out. It's terribly frustrating stuff. I have to go up to Helen's old place now and she's getting a boiler service.
40:59 - 41:08
So I have to wait for the man. The times given are 12 to five. Yep.
41:08 - 41:14
He will. That's good. At some point. Is he going to send you a little text like when he's 20 minutes away?
41:14 - 41:27
Or is it just 12 to five? So you'd think. Oh yeah. Okay. Also now I do render myself uncontactable here because I decide this is the place to undertake the, put the new phone beside the old phone.
41:27 - 41:32
Sort of magic how they connect to each other, isn't it? Yeah. Tell yourselves about each other.
41:32 - 41:45
You two get to know each other. Now this isn't a sad day for the old phone because my mobile phone network refuses to cooperate with the same company in Australia.
41:45 - 41:50
So I will still be using the old one for my Australia phone when I meet you next.
41:50 - 42:14
How exciting. Yeah. It does a funny thing where when I put them beside each other, it says transfer and initially it says six days and 20 hours that I'm going to have to sit there and then I see it goes six days and two hours, five days and
42:14 - 42:31
20 hours, four days and nine hours, three. So it's almost just a little bit of drama that they have set up between each other, but it means that I am uncontactable, unfortunately, for the 40 minutes that this takes in that 40 minutes.
42:31 - 42:41
Oh dear. Max, the boiler man has rung on the doorbell. That doesn't work. He didn't knock on the door, which he could have done, but fair enough.
42:41 - 42:50
He's rung the Helen copter. The Helen copter couldn't get through to me, total shit show. Yeah.
42:50 - 42:59
And as regards getting the boiler serviced, which we're led to believe is a terribly important thing, we need this service.
42:59 - 43:10
We already do meet my brother for a little bit to work on a top secret project that the listeners will be hearing more about in the run up to Christmas.
43:10 - 43:19
Does your brother like it? Yeah, he does like it. Yeah. But my brother is a writer and an actor and he has an amazing structure head.
43:19 - 43:26
So he's got to make it. Even more exciting. I really want Jeopardy to be ramped up in this.
43:26 - 43:38
And then I meet my 19 year old niece for lunch. We go to a Korean place and it's very nice, but I do choose slightly.
43:38 - 43:43
I don't think I choose the best stuff. I go for the big Korean pancake.
43:43 - 43:50
That's delicious. Sort of kimchi pancake and then go for a sort of a flower pot.
43:50 - 44:01
Full of just everything. Just stuff. Yeah. Okay. Her iPad, which is how she works.
44:01 - 44:14
It's stopped charging. So, you know, I mean, there's a touch of everything being circular here, but I say I know how to fix that because I have looked it up as to how to fix my old phone.
44:14 - 44:20
It says get a soft bristle toothbrush. Awesome. A can of air. You know, one of those.
44:20 - 44:26
You know, one of those cans of air. Really? Yeah. Because I'd love to think I could just stick my tongue into it.
44:26 - 44:32
You know what I mean? It depends if you've got a USB-C tongue or a USB tongue.
44:32 - 44:50
I reckon you're USB. You know. So we go to Camden Casket, one of my favorite shops in Dublin, which is like an old school euro slash pound shop where the funniest item we see available for a euro is pregnancy tests.
44:50 - 44:55
And we say to ourselves, they wouldn't be the ones that I would go for.
44:55 - 45:01
Yeah, but you can get loads. You can get loads. Okay. So I say goodbye to her.
45:01 - 45:08
She needs to work. I seem to have fixed her computer. She will text me later in the day to say it is in fact not fixed.
45:08 - 45:18
I get home. And this ties into my last What Did You Do Yesterday? The rugby jersey that I've bought for my nephew.
45:18 - 45:30
That's it. Has arrived from New Zealand. Has arrived from New Zealand. I knew it was coming because at the last minute the postal service were like you owe 20 quid in import charges on this.
45:30 - 45:38
And then it arrives. Size small. They've sent the wrong fucking one. It's totally useless.
45:38 - 45:44
I guess this is just what happens. He'll still be happy. No, but he is 35.
45:44 - 45:58
So getting him into an S. He's 35. He doesn't really need it. Yeah. That's not what you could say as you hang over the wrong present to a person.
45:58 - 46:04
So Helen Copter gets back from work then. Yeah. Yeah. I search more for the AirPods.
46:04 - 46:11
Yeah. AirPods. It's so annoying. There's still somewhere here. Have you zoomed in as much?
46:11 - 46:15
Have you zoomed in and zoomed in and zoomed in? Have you got YouTube zoomed in?
46:15 - 46:20
Okay. Like it would be worse if I feel if I lived in a high rise.
46:20 - 46:24
All it would be telling me is it's on one of these many floors. Yeah.
46:24 - 46:37
Yeah. It could be anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Incredibly frustrating. Helen gets back. And while it's certainly not my fault about the Boilerman, I do feel it's my fault.
46:37 - 46:43
It's partly your fault. Yeah. So I've looked up YouTube videos about how to pressurize a heating system.
46:43 - 46:48
I can just do it myself. It's fine. Are you servicing a boiler? I mean.
46:48 - 46:52
No. I'm not. Are you Corby registered? You're not servicing it. But you don't need to do that in your country.
46:52 - 46:59
No. I'm not servicing it. But I am. In order for it to work, it needs more water in it.
46:59 - 47:03
And you're allowed to do that as a Rego Norm. So you just turn that little tap and then just turn it down again.
47:03 - 47:11
Oh, you would think. Get up there. Because I've made a big deal out of, yes, I did mess up earlier.
47:11 - 47:15
But luckily, it's very easy for me to do. So I'll be able to sort it out.
47:15 - 47:20
It's going to be fine. And then get there. And the little taps underneath are different.
47:20 - 47:25
To every YouTube video. And I've watched over 12 YouTube videos.
47:25 - 47:30
And there's also a fear with boilers that you turn one thing that is, explode the boiler in your face.
47:30 - 47:45
Isn't it? There's always that fear. Exactly. So after every time I press a button or turn a little tap, I kind of step back a little bit as if that would protect me from the exploding gas boiler.
47:45 - 47:52
I admit, after some time, this has been a total failure. Oh, dear. The keys for her tingle, tingle, tingle.
47:52 - 47:58
But that's about the only success I can point to. I've got a phone. Let's see.
47:58 - 48:04
Worse than the old phone. The two of us get back just from dismal failure.
48:04 - 48:14
We put on. There's a sad documentary about how people in a town in Cornwall were all poisoned by the water supply in the 90s.
48:14 - 48:20
So we decide to watch that just to lift the vibe.
48:20 - 48:26
I haven't had any dinner, but I had a massive Korean lunch. So I decide I'll have a large portion of popcorn.
48:26 - 48:32
That isn't a dinner, but yeah. But it's microwavable popcorn, which I don't think Helen enjoys.
48:32 - 48:38
I think environmentally it's kind of a waste. And I think it can be quite possibly carcinogenic or something.
48:38 - 48:46
The microwaviness. What, microwaving things? No, microwave popcorn. You know where it comes in the brown bag.
48:46 - 48:57
It's not how I'd market it. Without telling her I go to the kitchen and it's quite fun the way you, I don't know if you've popped microwave popcorn recently.
48:57 - 49:02
You do it by ear because nothing happens at the start. Then it all starts popping.
49:02 - 49:08
And then there's a point where do I risk, because it's got down to rhythmically one every.
49:08 - 49:16
Yeah, pop, pop. Because you know that the early poppers are probably going past perfection now.
49:16 - 49:25
But you don't want too many kernels in it. But I also know that Helen won't necessarily think this was a great idea.
49:25 - 49:32
So I put it in a bowl and really silently open the front door and put the bowl on the front step.
49:32 - 49:39
Shut the front door. Go back into the house. Oh, ring the doorbell and shout at Helen.
49:39 - 49:48
Can she get that, please? So she opens the front door. There's a steaming giant thing of popcorn there.
49:48 - 49:55
She's like, Oh, for fuck's sake. But we then eat it as we watch the sad documentary.
49:55 - 50:02
Salty, sweet, or just plain? What's your butter? Just salt. I'm a health nut. Yeah, of course.
50:02 - 50:12
So I think this is regarded as a reasonably healthy snack. Carcinogenic salty popcorn. She dozes off to sleep.
50:12 - 50:21
I think in an attempt to not fall asleep while we watch things, Helen takes up more hilarious positions.
50:21 - 50:27
She thinks sitting up straight will stop her going to sleep. So when she falls asleep, I've never seen this before.
50:27 - 50:34
She's put both her hands behind the back of her head. Like she's Ferris Bueller lying on a Lilo.
50:34 - 50:48
And she's fallen asleep like that. So I take a funny picture of her asleep that I've done a cut out of and saved in my phone now as a icon or an emoji.
50:48 - 50:57
Sticker. Oh yeah. Good. Yeah. I've sent it to her several times already. Then I have another little look while she's brushing her teeth.
50:57 - 51:04
I look some more for the headphones. I don't know. I don't. At what point do I just stop?
51:04 - 51:13
Are they in a pocket? Are they must be in a pocket? Obviously I've thought of all of this, but now we're at the point where I'm shaking out socks, trying to see if they just thought it out.
51:13 - 51:18
And then just like in a little corner somewhere, I could see how for a reason.
51:18 - 51:22
I don't know. I don't understand. Maybe I put them in the breast pocket of a shirt.
51:22 - 51:27
You know what I mean? Maybe, yeah. And then horsed the shirt into the wardrobe.
51:27 - 51:33
As I say, there's too much stuff in this wardrobe. Right, because you're packing up the house.
51:33 - 51:43
Well, because there's viewings going on. Everything's getting thrown in there. So you'll find them eventually where you just need to sell the house, buy a new house, unpack, and then you'll find them.
51:43 - 51:48
Yeah, but it could be. And don't listen to anything between now and then. I just hope you're not in a big chain.
51:48 - 51:54
Yeah. And the two of us fell asleep. That's what I did yesterday. Great day.
51:54 - 52:07
Loved the day. Sometimes you won't have successes. But if you can master successes by putting a big bowl of popcorn on the front door and then ringing the doorbell and running away, then I think you're still winning.
52:07 - 52:19
What I would really like is for one of the listeners to take what you just said there and put stirring string music behind it because
52:19 - 52:26
It was the closest to actual life advice you've ever given me. Well, speaking of soundtracks, you know, Dark Stanley writes, "The Teddington Quiz has a jingle.
52:26 - 52:33
It has to stay." Rewind and Denny, exactly. Keep Teddington alive. It's time for the Teddington Quiz.
52:33 - 52:58
♪ Max saw two people in the same location ♪ ♪ One day after another different occupation ♪ ♪ David and Mars Bar always have to guess again ♪ ♪ Who did Max see in Teddington? ♪
52:58 - 53:07
Thank you to Liam McClair for the jingle. James in Monza writes, "Hi, Max, DOD and Mars Bar.
53:07 - 53:14
I don't wish to be too negative towards someone who's taken the initiative to create such a tool as really the 'End Teddington Now' website.
53:14 - 53:17
I do feel there is a little work on where the probabilities are taken from.
53:17 - 53:29
I'm not an expert on statistics in the website building. I'm not convinced by the fact that comedians like John Cleese and Jasper Carrot, who admittedly tour little these days, are given a lower probability than Victoria Wood, Barry Cryer,
53:29 - 53:36
and both halves of Morecambe and Wise." Rest in peace. Well, exactly. I love it.
53:36 - 53:48
It's one of the best things that's ever happened. Listeners, check out "End Teddington Now." Unless, what happens if I do end Teddington Now or Mars Bar does end Teddington Now with our guesses?
53:48 - 53:59
Good question. Tom says, "Hi, Max, David, and Mars Bar. I want to pick up on the conversation you guys were having about who would have the answer for the Teddington quiz and replace him on the pod should Max eventually die in 40 to 50 years' time.
53:59 - 54:04
David seems to suggest that he would have to present the pod with Willy Rushden should this happen.
54:04 - 54:10
I hate to be the one to break it to you, David. Very unlikely that you'll be around and probably more likely first to go." Blimey.
54:10 - 54:15
Okay. Not sure if you guys didn't pick up on this or just didn't have the heart to tell him.
54:15 - 54:20
He seemed really excited by the idea, poor bloke. He's only three years older than me.
54:20 - 54:27
"I just want to know what will happen to the 18 bikes. Love the pod. Get rid of the Teddington quiz, Tom." Some brutal facts there.
54:27 - 54:33
While you're eating several bars of Tony's Choco Lonely every day, I'm eating boring popcorn.
54:33 - 54:39
Thank you. Yeah, you're right. Kevin says, "Dear David and Mars Bar, Max is obviously reveling in the power he holds over you in the audience.
54:39 - 54:46
Notice how with the latest revelations in the guesses, he even mentioned that maybe he didn't want to play anymore, perhaps sensing that victory was in your grasp.
54:46 - 54:52
Maybe if you quit before he does, then the spell will be broken. Whichever. Please, God, end this madness.
54:52 - 55:01
No one cares." Everybody cares. Yeah. David, two months ago, maybe three months ago, probably four months ago now, I was in Teddington.
55:01 - 55:09
I saw a comedian putting out a poster for his own show, and then a few days later I saw a footballer walking through the hotel that I was staying.
55:09 - 55:14
If you guessed them both, you win the quiz. It's very simple. You and Mars Bar have a guess.
55:14 - 55:18
It's a fun quiz. It's a good fun quiz, isn't it? It's just good fun.
55:18 - 55:23
That's the thing about quizzes. They just bring a lightness to whatever the proceedings are.
55:23 - 55:27
Mars Bar, do you want to go first with this? David thinks he's got it, Mars Bar.
55:27 - 55:31
Do you think you've got it, Mars Bar? No, but I'm confident I've got now a window of completion.
55:31 - 55:41
Right. Yeah. Statistically, I think we've got it in the next three months. See, I think I made a mistake because I typed it in the website and I gave away the percentages.
55:41 - 55:54
Yeah. And so I just got giddy. So you know. You said last week the probability of success was 0.0001%.
55:54 - 56:05
Okay. And some of the runners and riders that I had it narrowed down to came out at 0.0003%.
56:05 - 56:14
I've been able to put a line through them. And that's why I feel I am narrowing in on it.
56:14 - 56:22
Also, the only time I went back and listened to old episodes using everythingisshowbiz.
56:22 - 56:28
And when one person in particular was guessed, you had a weird reaction to it.
56:28 - 56:35
Oh, really? Okay. I've done a similar thing and I wonder whether we've both got the same name, which would be thrilling.
56:35 - 56:39
You go first, Mars Bar, because if it's not that, I'm happy for either of us to get it right.
56:39 - 56:49
I have a secondary person that it could be then. Okay. I mean, a lot of this, well, all of this is dependent on the fact that it is Jordan Henderson as the first piece.
56:49 - 56:59
My slight worry with Max is he's sort of sat there like Kevin Spacey at the end of The Usual Suspects and he's just going to hobble off into the distance we've been playing all along.
56:59 - 57:10
However, I'm sticking with Jordan Henderson until statistically it can't be Jordan Henderson. So I'm going to say Jordan Henderson and I'm going to say Ian Stone.
57:10 - 57:31
Incorrect. Uh-huh. Okay. I'm going to stay on Jordan Henderson. Okay. And I'm also going to say, again, in terms of, so a lot of people have been sending me posters of gigs in Teddington in July.
57:31 - 57:48
I love this. I love the investment. Eimear Murphy and others, I would say six others, there was a Nick Helm gig there at that time, but I don't think Helm would have come to Teddington just to put up his posters.
57:48 - 57:57
And I also, when I put his name in, he was 0.0003. So Helm, see you.
57:57 - 58:08
That's why I think the Teddington two are Jordan Henderson, the footballer and Andy Parsons who runs a gig in Teddington.
58:08 - 58:22
And while he is very successful, a very successful comedian, the fact that he loves this gig, I could see him putting up the posters for his gig.
58:22 - 58:35
You can't do the silence thing that I was trying to do earlier. Incorrect. I thought you had it.
58:35 - 58:43
I genuinely thought you had it. Oh my God. Okay. To the listeners, has anyone else got a lead?
58:43 - 58:52
We need more posters of gigs in Teddington and the surrounding areas. Twickenham, even. Let's take a three mile circle.
58:52 - 58:59
Probably with posters up in... This does sound like Crimewatch now. Please help us end this.
58:59 - 59:08
If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at
[email protected].
59:08 - 59:15
Follow us on Instagram @yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
59:15 - 59:24
And if you didn't, please don't. What's also really great is that, you know, Mars Bar didn't need to be on this record.
59:24 - 59:34
And, you know, he's sitting with no pants on in New York. He's got so much to do, but he didn't want to be on this pod, just in case it was the one where we found the answer to the Teddington quiz.
59:34 - 59:40
I want people to stop pretending that they don't like this quiz, because now it's Stockholm Syndrome.
59:40 - 59:45
You get everyone in the end. Thanks, everyone. Thanks, Mars Bar. Thanks, David. Keep your guesses coming in.
59:45 - 59:49
It's just a bit of fun. It's just a fun little quiz. Help! Help me!
59:49 - 59:51
Thank you. Thank you.