0:06 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
0:11 - 0:17
I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it.
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They all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
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Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us.
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We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time, Max.
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What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?
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That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday. Nothing more.
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Day before yesterday, Max. Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life. Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
0:52 - 1:08
I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem, the offshoot of the very successful podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?
1:08 - 1:12
My name is Max Rushden. And alongside me for the journey is David O'Doherty today.
1:13 - 1:19
Welcome, David. Hello, Max. My name is David O'Doherty. Welcome to the What Did You Do Yesterday?
1:19 - 1:26
Offsheet. Oh, God. Offsheet. Yeah. I feel like you want to start again, David, because I feel like we shouldn't start again.
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I feel like it's too honest a podcast. I think my plan there, and I don't know if I was going to do the whole episode, like, you know, the news agents,
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like that sort of thing where I was going to properly present. What's new this week in yesterday's, Max?
1:39 - 1:42
I've been looking through the emails. You know, I was going to do the whole thing.
1:42 - 1:49
Right. I see. Have you ever wanted to be sort of TV? Because I used to do this, you know, I was a radio reporter, and, you know, they'd send you to the scene of the crime.
1:49 - 2:01
But you'd actually know absolutely nothing, and the policeman there wouldn't tell you anything. And so they'd tell you down the line what had happened, and then you'd say, and what we do know is the assailant was somewhere between 5 and 85,
2:01 - 2:12
male or female, black or white, and could have been wearing a top. What we don't know is when the crime happened and exactly how many people have been affected.
2:13 - 2:19
Back to you, Eddie, and hope that they wouldn't answer any more questions. You want to do it in that kind of style.
2:19 - 2:27
That's what I wanted, but then I said offshirt instead of offshoot. And we are where we are, Max.
2:27 - 2:32
It's lovely to be here. Hello, listeners. Yeah, hi, everybody. Let's dive straight into the feedback.
2:32 - 2:40
Lots of positive reaction to the Chris McCausland episode, but people especially liked the fact that you were sort of leading, you were being the sensible one.
2:41 - 2:46
Alice said, so funny hearing David getting exasperated while Max interrupts to talk about video games.
2:46 - 2:52
How the turns table. She says, I did feel quite liberated. I've got to say.
2:52 - 3:04
It's extraordinary that your specialist subject is specifically football computer games of the, what are we going to say, the early 90s?
3:05 - 3:13
I'm going to say 1988 to probably 1997. I dropped off before the golden eye era began.
3:14 - 3:24
What console? That's the Amiga console through the Nintendo. We're starting with an Amstrad CPC 6128 built-in disc drive, everybody.
3:25 - 3:29
Well, some real classics on that. Treasure Island, Dizzy, et cetera. Then we're moving into the Amiga 500.
3:30 - 3:36
Then I got a megabyte upgrade. And then we're through, you know, kickoff to sensible soccer, championship manager, all these things.
3:36 - 3:44
Yeah. I mean, that really, I mean, if we wanted to get into the weeds, I could do hours probably on my own, having an absolutely wonderful time.
3:44 - 3:48
I don't know how well it would do as a podcast, but I'd give it a go.
3:48 - 3:54
Actually on Emlyn Hughes International Soccer, Adam says, he calls it the Dion Dublin conundrum.
3:54 - 4:00
He says, I don't want to be a pedant, but this is now my third email on this topic that I now call the Dion Dublin conundrum.
4:00 - 4:07
I do sympathize with David because Max references so many niche characters who require additional explanation for our international listeners.
4:07 - 4:11
However, when Max mentioned Emlyn Hughes International Soccer, actually it was Chris who mentioned it.
4:11 - 4:16
David chose not to explain who Emlyn Hughes is. Last week, he explained who Chris Akabusi is.
4:17 - 4:26
I would venture Chris Akabusi is more famous than Emlyn Hughes. There seems to be no logic on who David chooses to explain capital letters, all we want is consistency.
4:26 - 4:50
Nevertheless, I'm in it for life, Adam. Emlyn Hughes was a Welsh international footballer who played for Liverpool in the late 70s, early 80s, was then a panelist on, I would say BBC's first ever sort of funny TV popular sports quiz show.
4:50 - 4:58
Team captain, no less. Question of Sport, where he did show he had a lighter side and was very popular on that.
4:58 - 5:09
Jousted famously with Bill Beaumont while David Coleman laughed in the background. Once we had to go out and my mum videoed Question of Sport, but it didn't record.
5:10 - 5:19
I've not had a tough life. That was one of the biggest traumas that I ever experienced was to find the VHS tape had failed to record a Question of Sport.
5:19 - 5:27
They once said, oh, I tell you what it was, and it must have been so controversial in BBC of the 80s.
5:28 - 5:37
There was a shot of a jockey who had fallen in water, I think, who just looked like a swamp beast.
5:37 - 5:44
And they all had a guess that it was, you know, David Broom or these famous show jumpers.
5:44 - 5:51
And it was Her Royal Highness Princess Anne. It was. Like, you could just see in the studio.
5:51 - 6:06
It's like in, not open all hours, what was the other show set in a department store, where once an episode in the 70s, the lady would make a joke about my pussy has been wet for the last 24 hours.
6:06 - 6:13
It's raining outside and my pussy went out in the rain. And the audience would like peek into the red zone of like.
6:14 - 6:22
And similarly, when Bill Beaumont thought that Princess Anne was in fact a man, you know, the palace was contacted.
6:23 - 6:31
Can we leave this in? On that subject, is Emlyn Hughes soccer, the one where you could sliding tackle faster than you can run?
6:31 - 6:42
Well, remember now that was striker. Emlyn Hughes, I was a real, it was a sort of, it was a, I'd say a forefather to, if that's not a strong word for FIFA and pro Evo.
6:42 - 6:53
I never got into the football ones. Dad bought us an Atari 2600, which is the one with Pac-Man and Space Invaders on it.
6:53 - 7:02
The one game I loved was Yara's Revenge, which was basically just a rectangle chasing a square around a blank screen.
7:02 - 7:06
But it was really funny. The fight of the polygons, wasn't it? It was big.
7:06 - 7:19
But the blurb, if you, because I remember the booklet, I'd studied it, but it was like, the year 457, the planet Strogon has fallen to the evil Yara's.
7:19 - 7:29
It's the hexagon chasing a square. Susan Walsh, I think regards the midweek mayhem, the jet lagged one.
7:29 - 7:36
Yeah. More episodes with Max incredibly jet lagged, please. This is good stuff. It would be a real commitment to the podcast.
7:37 - 7:42
If I flew around the world before every midweek mayhem, but maybe I was just giddy with excitement.
7:42 - 7:49
My friend, John has been in touch, David, John, you'll remember who I happily will shower with naked in a football club, but not in a flat.
7:50 - 7:56
Who was I discussing? You know, it was once again, people seem to think that I don't understand how quizzes and games work.
7:57 - 8:07
And I said, I'd, I'd poked John or Fraser. I can't remember who on the X five from the bus that goes from Cambridge to Oxford, but stops at every single place between the two.
8:08 - 8:13
John has said, are you sure it wasn't me? It was him poking me on the bus for four hours.
8:13 - 8:19
So I may have misremembered. I'd like to apologize for anyone who was on the X five, who was going to out me as a potential liar.
8:20 - 8:28
So I can't remember if I poked John on the knee for four hours or John poked me, but either way, they were good times.
8:28 - 8:36
We were funny. We were funny students, David. Yeah. You know, we didn't stick to the student stereotype of being, you know, at all sort of zany back in the day.
8:37 - 8:43
Alex has been in touch. Dear Mr. Rushden, Mr. O'Doherty, Mr. Bar, my brother, Greg introduced me to this podcast.
8:43 - 8:47
With the Ellis James episode on a drive to visit our parents. We've both been big fans since the start.
8:48 - 8:52
He very kindly offered to treat me to tickets to see the live show as a pre-birthday present.
8:52 - 9:02
We absolutely loved it on our journey to London. We'd actually listened to the first Nish Kumar episode, possibly adding to the notion that this podcast is the center of the universe and had sent us a cosmic message to listen to it,
9:03 - 9:12
to prepare for his return. Everything about the show was perfect. The fact that none of the technical setup worked at the beginning, the mountain of prep that producer Mars Bar had put into the intro being almost for nothing,
9:13 - 9:22
including plenty of callbacks that only us diehard fans picked up on the BOC, Max's coffee orders, Lululemon clothing, et cetera, and the icing on the cake of Lord Percy of Dingbat,
9:22 - 9:26
bringing out the instruments for you all to play top loaders dancing in the moonlight, made for a hilarious finale.
9:26 - 9:30
We both look forward to many more episodes. We're both in it for life and everything is truly showbiz.
9:30 - 9:36
There's many thanks for the last Alex in Sheffield, but we had other, I went, I found the, the, what did you do yesterday?
9:36 - 9:40
Reddit page, which is quite interesting because they get quite deep about these things. Yeah.
9:40 - 9:43
Is he feeling good today? Do you think he was feeling all right on that episode?
9:43 - 9:49
All these kinds of things really does really, they're really analyzing this shit, but they, there was some live show stuff, which I enjoyed.
9:50 - 9:57
Trally man said, the first half was the most shambolic thing I've ever witnessed. It felt like they'd only met for the first time about an hour before the show.
9:57 - 10:06
Did I want to do? I loved it. Not only just about an hour before the show, but Max in that hour had gone off for a pint with some of his old friends.
10:10 - 10:19
Steph's been in touch. I will say this now for air on the record for every live show we do half an hour before on air, I'll go to the nearest pub and have a pint.
10:19 - 10:24
If anyone's there, that'll be great. I think it's a good precedent to set. We don't want to take this thing too seriously.
10:24 - 10:30
David, Steph says, hi, David Mars bar and subpar Dermot O'Leary. Thank you so much.
10:31 - 10:39
A listener since the first episode, assume my email lands in the priority inbox. I always enjoy the way you both frame aspects of your personality, depending on the guest.
10:39 - 10:52
Emotional intelligence. We can all aspire to none more. So than the day, Mary beard episode, Max precocious teen, trying to impress his parents, friends, multiple basic historic references, peppered with football and pop culture takes for the brand.
10:52 - 11:06
David, I know books. Keep up the good work. I mean, I don't have to describe I know books as, and I shuddered when I remembered this the other day, asking Mary beard about the wanking man in Pompeii,
11:08 - 11:15
which is, that's like meeting Nigel Mansell and asking him what the fastest car he's ever driven is.
11:15 - 11:24
I think maybe even worse than that. Yesterday on Talkspot, I interviewed world heavyweight. He's not champion, but he will be one day.
11:25 - 11:31
Moses Itauma. It wasn't my finest interview, but he recently knocked out Dillian Whyte in like two seconds.
11:32 - 11:37
And for like the previous four weeks, every 15 minutes, we'd have to trail this damn fight.
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I have no interest in boxing. I think I once said on air, I could easily knock anyone out.
11:41 - 11:45
And it's always brought back to me. But anyway, because I could actually deck anyone.
11:45 - 11:53
And anyway, and I said, look, I thought it was a good line. I said, Hey mate, you couldn't have let that fight go on a bit longer because we trailed it for ages.
11:53 - 11:59
It only took about 25 seconds. And I thought it was quite a good question. And he said, and there's a massive delays in Nigeria.
11:59 - 12:05
So then we wait like 10 seconds of silence. And he just said, God, if I had a pound for every time someone had said that to me,
12:11 - 12:19
I'm pretty sure I would come in the heavyweight division at the moment, even though this health kick is absolutely reaping dividends at the moment.
12:20 - 12:34
I haven't yet started to move down through the classes, you know, I'm not cruiserweight or bantamweight or whatever yet, but I will let you know when I know, please do before each podcast,
12:34 - 12:40
we'll both have a way in where, we stand there at our undies. And then trash talk each other.
12:40 - 12:45
Yeah. You don't want to be a weak heavyweight. That seems like the worst position to be in.
12:45 - 12:55
Yes. However, I am friends with a listener to the podcast, Andy Lee, who's a former middleweight champ.
12:55 - 13:01
He came on talks about the other day. Genuinely charming and smart and funny guy.
13:02 - 13:09
And I've put it to him in the past. I put it to some of his friends who are also proper boxing people.
13:09 - 13:17
My theory, which is I'm pretty sure I would beat up professional boxers. Yeah. Like smaller ones.
13:17 - 13:24
I got it. Maybe up to middleweight, something like that. I think aggression is a key part of it.
13:24 - 13:28
And I, I don't think you have, you know, on your stats. Yeah. Aggression is low.
13:29 - 13:34
Aggression. I've got tekkers. Have you? Yeah. Yeah. I could raise the guard and pull it down.
13:34 - 13:39
And because I've got big hands, they're not getting in there. Yeah. But a few body shots.
13:39 - 13:46
I fear for you against Manny Pacquiao. I mean, I'm here for the next live show.
13:46 - 13:54
Right at the end, it's David versus Manny Pacquiao. Your guard's up. He can't get you in the chin, but I think he could wind you pretty quickly.
13:54 - 14:02
David is what I think. Anyway, I will maintain that I could beat up everyone up to the middleweight division.
14:03 - 14:14
And I've been told by numerous people, even the lightest heavyweight, such as their knowledge of the ballistics of a punch would end me after maybe three seconds.
14:15 - 14:23
Yeah. But also, I mean, if you ever punched a punch bag, but occasionally at the gym, back in the personal trainer days, they would make me do it.
14:24 - 14:30
And then they say, you know, do 30 punches. Yeah. And by the end, I mean, the word punch is really generous.
14:30 - 14:37
You know, I'm sort of, it's like a kitten with a ball of string. I'm just sort of gently caressing.
14:38 - 14:43
The punch bag thinks he's having like a light massage. That's what's happening by the end of this.
14:44 - 14:49
Max, you know, the, I think it's a Muhammad Ali quote, which is everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face.
14:50 - 14:58
Yeah. I also believe that that may work the other way, which is these various phantom weights would be like, I'm going to beat up David O'Doherty.
14:58 - 15:03
This is going to be no problem. In fact, I'm going to say I'll take on a few of them as well.
15:04 - 15:20
I'll take on the entire featherweight division. Just me. Oh, I see. As soon as I start sending out these five finger messages, TM, that's, they will start falling like skittles.
15:20 - 15:25
I'll pick one up and like an arrow, I'll just throw it into another five of them.
15:25 - 15:30
So maybe that's, I fear it's, you know, float like a butterfly sting, like a butterfly.
15:31 - 15:35
I feel that sort of what, in fact, I don't think you're floating like a butterfly.
15:35 - 15:41
I think you're float like a butter dish. Sting like a, like sting, like a whelk.
15:41 - 15:53
There's no sting. That's what it is. Tristan in Washington state says, David, Max and Mars bar while listening to the most recent midweek mayhem, the discussion of Sara Pascoe's dad's new jazz album,
15:53 - 15:58
segwayed into a listener correction about whether or not Jabba the heart was in the Mos Isley cantina.
15:58 - 16:08
And David talking about other cantina music often gets stuck in his head. It's reminded me of the tortuous fact that according to the 2017 junior novelization of the return of the Jedi,
16:08 - 16:16
the style of music being played in Jabba's palace is called jizz. And the musicians who play this type of music are called jizz wailers.
16:16 - 16:22
Since the members of the band are all aliens and the star Wars wiki is mercifully devoid of information on their individual species output.
16:22 - 16:27
I'm not able to hazard a guess as to how long it would take for them to fill a bath.
16:27 - 16:34
Everything is showbiz. Tristan in Washington state. Thank you, Tristan. Maddie in Yorkshire says, hello, lads.
16:34 - 16:42
Big fan of the pod. Also big fan of the medical drama, the pit, which Max was forced to half watch via the woman watching it nearby on his journey back to Australia while she was asleep.
16:42 - 16:48
While Max believes an episode was playing on repeat, it could be the case that the episodes were simply auto playing after each other.
16:48 - 16:54
As the premise of the pit is an entire emergency room shift in real time over the course of a whole series.
16:54 - 17:07
I see. So I actually, I watched so many episodes. I just kept thought I was seeing the same one with the same bloody mess of a man being brought back to life by quite a dashing hero figure of the whole thing.
17:07 - 17:11
This is no doubt very boring. And I could be wrong, but worth a daft email to see if it gets read out.
17:11 - 17:16
Everything is showbiz. Maddie in Yorkshire. That's important. Interesting. You know, we like to get these things right, don't we?
17:16 - 17:22
Yeah. The real timification of since adolescence, maybe they're all going to go real time.
17:22 - 17:30
Now neighbors is going to go real time. Just a shot of Clive brushing his teeth.
17:30 - 17:36
Sorry. I mean, it's actually what this podcast is, isn't it? We shouldn't criticize the idea.
17:36 - 17:47
But yeah, live, Mrs. Mangle doing an online Coles order, you know, just taking hours and hours going, replace single potatoes with a two kilo bat.
17:47 - 17:54
I mean, I'd watch it. I can't, those in glass houses cannot throw stones. It's such a mundane idea.
17:55 - 18:01
Robert J says, New Zealand are continuously awarded credit erroneously on your pod. Please do your due diligence.
18:01 - 18:08
Bungee jumping originated on Pentecost in Vanuatu. The origins of what we now know as the Pavlova are still hotly disputed between the Anzac nations.
18:09 - 18:13
Little brother can have the electric fence and jet boats. Credit where credit is due, says Robert.
18:16 - 18:24
The electric fence. Yeah, that's a pretty good one. My brother, he used to stand up comedy and he was a proper one liners guy.
18:24 - 18:34
The Tim Vine of the O'Doherty family. Yeah, very much so. The one of his I always remember was, if you touch an electric fence on purpose, does it still count as a shock?
18:34 - 18:39
That's a good, yeah, that's a nice one. Yeah. Well done. David's brother. What's he called?
18:40 - 18:45
Mark. Mark. Well done. Mark. Jonathan in Brooklyn says, hi, I'm Brooklyn. People love it.
18:45 - 18:49
If you do that in Brooklyn, I know that for certain. Why I ought to.
18:49 - 18:55
Hey, Max and David, your story about playing shout by Lulu and the lovers four times in a row at a Scottish pub.
18:55 - 19:06
Reminded me of a game we used to play called infinite jukebox. This was in the early two thousands in New York city, when the CD based music players prevented you from playing any one song more than two times in a row.
19:06 - 19:14
We kept testing this out in bars all over the city until one day we found one with both hits from the sixties and the best of the marvelettes in the same machine.
19:14 - 19:18
We got very giddy when we discovered that the electronics didn't stop us from playing the same song.
19:18 - 19:23
If we alternated our choice between two CDs. By the time we heard, please, Mr.
19:23 - 19:28
Postman start up again for the fourth time in a row. It was pretty easy for them to figure out which table to kick out of the bar.
19:29 - 19:33
The joy of it all. Everything is showbiz. Jonathan in Brooklyn. I'm glad it's not my story.
19:33 - 19:41
It's my friend, Nick, just the shout comes on again. The shout comes on again.
19:41 - 19:48
You're out. Oh, so good. Hey, should we do They're Just Normal Countries, David? It's time.
19:48 - 20:01
It's time for They're Just Normal Countries. I am the one and only. What country could I be?
20:01 - 20:13
I am the one and only. Where in the world could our listeners be? We hope she's all right.
20:13 - 20:25
The singer of that jingle. Previous guesses. Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, the Northern Marianas Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, the US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino,
20:25 - 20:36
Cret, Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, the Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, and Vatican City. To the listeners, it's only three more months till the cheeses start up again.
20:36 - 20:43
So do you think we could simultaneously have this, the cheeses? And the cheese board.
20:43 - 20:50
Wow. And who did I see in London? We can't drop the Teddington quiz because you trust me.
20:50 - 20:53
Someone will get it right in about eight years time and we'll lose our minds.
20:55 - 21:03
Davis in Ohio says, Hi, David, Max and Mars Bar. During Thanksgiving a few years ago, I got into an argument with my brother about how many countries I could correctly name on a map.
21:03 - 21:12
Great family argument. That is. I confidently said I'd get all the countries in the world correct with only three to four errors, something like a 98% accuracy rate.
21:12 - 21:16
He was certain I'd lost my mind and argued how well I could for about five minutes.
21:17 - 21:21
Then we got distracted with dinner, drinks, and general family fun. The conversation long forgotten.
21:21 - 21:25
The next day, still high on my supply, I found a website to test my knowledge on.
21:25 - 21:31
I was quickly brought down to earth, getting something like 85% right. Still high, but obviously nowhere near my goal.
21:32 - 21:40
I started quizzing myself each night and can now accurately get 100% on every continent, except for the small islands in Oceania.
21:40 - 21:43
So when I heard about this contest, I knew it was right up my alley.
21:43 - 21:47
My guess is that, wow, that's such a, you could go on, you bet. Yeah.
21:47 - 21:55
That's incredible. Imagine South America where, you know, you've got Paraguay and the little ones, Costa Rica and the little ones at the top.
21:56 - 22:04
But they're Central America. I don't think South America is the tricky bit. If you ask me, I think the South Pacific islands, that sorts out the wheat from the chaff.
22:04 - 22:12
Anyone can say Brazil and Uruguay. Sure. I know. But okay. What about Chad? And you know, yeah, that's in Africa.
22:12 - 22:21
No, I know that. I know it is, but I agree with you. Well, I think I'd struggle to get all the African countries, but I would definitely get Chad.
22:21 - 22:25
In fact, I think if I was to name all the countries, I'd probably start with Chad.
22:26 - 22:36
You know, Chad is never getting forgotten by anyone. Cause he's also like a jock student who runs the hurdles and is the quarterback for, you know, Maryland university.
22:36 - 22:41
Okay. Here, my guest is the country of Oman on the Arabian Peninsula. I hope to email you again.
22:41 - 22:51
Everything is showbiz Davis in Ohio. So we go to producer Will, who is, you know, pressing the buttons as producer Mars bar is probably on a roll of coaster.
22:51 - 23:01
Will is Oman correct. Oh man. Listen, Will, I don't know if you have the same technicals.
23:01 - 23:09
29 listens. Oh wait, he knows it already. 29 listens in Oman. This is big. We're so big in Oman.
23:09 - 23:14
Nice to be able to suddenly just see the split screen of all the 29 listens.
23:14 - 23:19
If it's the one person or we could just go see 29 people. That would be lovely.
23:19 - 23:28
I wouldn't have put Oman on. And as we've just found out, I don't know where Chad is, but Oman, I'd say we've got some gulf listeners.
23:29 - 23:34
Oman's in the gulf, right? Yes, of course it is. It is. Now, David, it's the end of my working week.
23:35 - 23:41
Can I get another beer before your yesterday? Yes, I will fill the time. Oh, great.
23:41 - 23:44
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for some of his up and coming work in progress.
23:45 - 23:49
Give it away for, give it up, give it up on the MC. Give it up for David O'Doherty.
23:50 - 24:02
Give it away for David O'Doherty. Listeners, it's great that I finally have this opportunity without Max here to advertise my forthcoming gigs.
24:03 - 24:18
I am performing, well, this won't be out for a week. So I've got two shows in Vicar Street in Dublin next week, and then two shows in Soho Walthamstow in London in November.
24:18 - 24:23
I think the others are all sold out, but there's still tickets available for those.
24:23 - 24:31
And now I return you to Max Rushden. I think that was a bit self-indulgent because I had my headphones in.
24:31 - 24:39
And you could just plug all your stuff. You could have talked about what a good, nice guy I am or how much fun the podcast is and all those kinds of things.
24:39 - 24:47
But you just, once again, you just went after the money. I know. Anyway, David, what time did you wake up yesterday?
24:48 - 24:56
8.10, Max, quite decadent. Yeah, that's nice. Slept in, if I'm honest. No Pilates for the Helen Copter?
24:56 - 25:02
No Pilates. She had done a class the evening before. So that was taken care of.
25:02 - 25:04
You knew you had a win. You had a win there. You were like, yes.
25:05 - 25:10
Normally I do wake up. I mean, in Edinburgh, I was still waking up at half seven some mornings.
25:10 - 25:21
She, however, is in charge of the alarm setting and just let it go. And consequently, awoke slightly out of time at 8.10.
25:22 - 25:31
Because she needs to leave for work, you know, whatever, before nine anyway. So it meant that you couldn't take things at its leisurely pace.
25:31 - 25:39
There was a rush. There was a rush in the morning. A stress. Maybe the first time this household has ever experienced stress.
25:40 - 25:50
And can I just say, I'm delighted to hear it. So I have been woken at a very dank point of the sleep cycle.
25:50 - 26:00
Okay. Unfortunately, I'm unable to get up to make breakfast of any kind. So Helen agrees to go down and reappears.
26:00 - 26:08
Sorry, interruption. So you just wake up and go, I'm, I am too desolate to make breakfast because this is not the right time of my sleep cycle.
26:08 - 26:21
I'm a sad, you're like droopy. Are you just, okay. I put the back of my hand on my forehead, like a French aristocrat lady from the 18th century.
26:21 - 26:25
And I tell her that I couldn't possibly deal with any of that. I understand.
26:25 - 26:33
Because Helen Copter's work is more pressing than mine, which is an episode of what did you do yesterday?
26:34 - 26:43
A 10 in the morning. Yeah. She goes downstairs and reappears. I close my eyes and then I just reopen them.
26:43 - 26:55
And there is a pot of coffee and yeah, delicious banana on. It's usually a bagel, but it's a bread that Helen Copter has got out of market the day before.
26:55 - 27:00
It's got a peanut butter under it. It's got a little salt and some honey on it.
27:00 - 27:06
It's a lovely way to wake up. And thank goodness the awful stress is over.
27:06 - 27:12
Good. I'm delighted because it's also worth pointing out for the tape that Helen's work actually matters for the world.
27:12 - 27:15
So not only has she got to get to work earlier, what she has to do is important.
27:16 - 27:22
And you just have to find out what Ian Smith did yesterday in about two hours time.
27:23 - 27:33
So she rightly makes the coffee and the breakfast. Look, while what Helen does is very important, laughter is the best medicine, Max.
27:34 - 27:50
You're absolutely right. People really need us. We are doing a regular episode of what did you do yesterday with Ian Smith, a really good comedian, guy I really rate, who was nominated for the big award at Edinburgh this year,
27:50 - 27:57
who the constant joke was that you thought you were talking to Ian Smith, who plays Harold in Neighbours.
27:57 - 28:05
Correct. Then with this in mind, Max, I did, because I've never asked you if there are other Max Rushdens.
28:05 - 28:12
I don't think so. So I decided to have a little snoop, but I didn't get far down the list.
28:12 - 28:23
I was just really delighted by the drop menu, the things that, the most popular things, which I think varies by person to person.
28:23 - 28:32
Like, I don't want to give away too much about myself. Like, you know, when right-wing politicians are like, why do I keep getting ads for butt plugs?
28:32 - 28:42
Yeah. In my, in my feeds. And it's because you keep searching for butt plugs, but I was not expecting the Max Rushden, Natalie Imbruglia.
28:42 - 28:46
That seems to be one of the most searched items. Is there any reason for that?
28:47 - 28:56
There's no reason for that. I suspect at some point back in the day, I had a crush on Natalie Imbruglia, who didn't in the nineties or the early two thousands.
28:56 - 29:02
I don't think she had a crush on me at the time. I don't know where that, I mean, she's Australian.
29:02 - 29:08
Jamie is Australian. Yeah. She's pretty. Jamie's pretty. But I can't think of where that came from.
29:08 - 29:18
I mean, is it possible that you searched Natalie Imbruglia so many times that that's now entered Google's mind as one of the key elements of your personality?
29:18 - 29:24
I mean, I will say this big mistake is an underrated song and not enough people listen to it on a regular basis.
29:24 - 29:29
You know, of course we all love torn, but big mistake really has its place on a playlist.
29:29 - 29:34
Is that didn't want to leave you with my last impression. Didn't want to do with the wrong.
29:35 - 29:40
No, it's and you're down. It's got much more attitude than that. On your knees.
29:41 - 29:49
It's too late. Don't stop. So do you think if we got Imbruglia, I actually have a contact.
29:49 - 29:58
I have a friend who does know Imbruglia. Melbourne's so small. She probably lives with my father-in-law, like honestly, but if you have a more direct contact, good idea.
29:58 - 30:05
You'll fall to pieces in that episode. You'll be even quieter than you were in the jet lag episode.
30:05 - 30:12
Well, of course I fancied Natalie Imbruglia, but if you got Bronwyn suddenly, well, then I would lose my mind because she was who I really fell in love with.
30:12 - 30:17
Bronwyn from Neighbours or even plain Jane Superbrain from Neighbours. imagine. It's a bit too much.
30:18 - 30:26
You made this head. Although, hang on, for the record, who was it who said they fancied Helen Daniels?
30:26 - 30:34
Oh God, that was me. That was you. Yeah, it was you. Remember you said you, when you were 12 years old, you fancied Helen Daniels.
30:34 - 30:40
You could have fancied Bronwyn or Beth or plain Jane or Kylie, but you fancied Helen Daniels.
30:40 - 30:51
Did. She was 255 years old. The amount of this podcast that's taken up talking about old episodes of Neighbours, or just rather an incredibly specific era of Neighbours.
30:52 - 31:01
Listeners, Google Helen Daniels, 1989. And tell me if I'm wrong. Because if I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.
31:02 - 31:08
What a great podcast call to action. You know, there are other podcasts where they say, now look, if we all do this, we can save the whales.
31:08 - 31:23
And David saying, Google Helen Daniels, 1989. So the most intriguing Max Rushden in the dropdown is Parallel Park.
31:23 - 31:29
That's one of the top searches from your, you did a lovely bit of parking a few months ago.
31:29 - 31:39
Well, we did get an email to Football Weekly about the Parallel Park, where now this guy works in advertising and he's, it's a great use of viral content because apparently the,
31:39 - 31:45
Parallel Park Instagram has, you know, went completely wild because it really struck a chord with so many people.
31:45 - 31:51
And even now, a few months later, I would say once or twice a week, someone will send me a photo of a good park they've done.
31:52 - 32:03
And I say, well done. Well done, Dave. It was good. Well done, Brian. What an incredible niche, almost as niche as Ian Rushden's videos of tube trains coming into stations.
32:04 - 32:08
Yeah, I'd say even more niche. People really love trains. Some people love trains. Yeah.
32:08 - 32:16
You know, there are trains, botters with books. No one's standing watching people Bay Park with a little list going, I've got a Sierra Cosworth.
32:17 - 32:21
This doesn't happen. Okay. So it's good to know that's there, Parallel Park. Do you not have net worth?
32:21 - 32:27
I like it when it says, you know, net worth. Oh yeah. $10 million. That's, I don't, where is it?
32:28 - 32:36
For God's sake. It was a really ambiguous one where it was 100,000 to 5 million, which is, that's a big description.
32:36 - 32:42
I'd say it's in that ballpark. It is in that ballpark. If I get all my assets together, it's between 100,000 pounds and 5 million pounds.
32:42 - 32:49
So I enjoyed the episode. Listeners will definitely enjoy it when it comes out. Oh yes, a great one.
32:49 - 32:59
I decided to make, I was going to go to the cafe and get the eggs I like, but then the chef once told me how to make the eggs.
32:59 - 33:05
So I decided once again to try and make the eggs from the Fumbally Cafe.
33:05 - 33:12
Right. So you chop a garlic real small. You put olive oil in a pan.
33:13 - 33:21
You fry the garlic for a minute. Then you put three eggs. You whip them up in a glass and throw them over it.
33:22 - 33:28
I mean, this is the problem. I think they use gubbeen cheese, which is a very specific Irish one.
33:28 - 33:31
It's just a normal. It's a normal cheese, if you ask me. It's just a normal cheese.
33:31 - 33:36
And all we had was, not parmesan, but what's the other one that's like? Grana Padano.
33:37 - 33:46
Oh, Grana Padano, right. So I furiously grate that into it. And then the key to these eggs is you fold them.
33:46 - 33:50
You don't whip them around. And so I'm folding. So you're sort of nearing an omelet.
33:51 - 33:57
You are nearing an omelet. Yes. And if I'm honest, I don't really know where one starts at the other end.
33:57 - 34:02
It's very ambiguous. I forget that Helen's got this nice bread because that would have been nice.
34:02 - 34:07
Although I've had some of that already. Like I do feel a little tired after these.
34:07 - 34:10
Hang on. I mean, you had breakfast about, oh, this is after the podcast, right?
34:10 - 34:14
This is lunch. But with the jigs and the reels, it can take two hours.
34:14 - 34:20
And our chats with Mars bar and the podcast is still going well. Yeah, that's true.
34:20 - 34:29
And so I am peckish. I end up doing a brown pita and just running it under the cold tap.
34:29 - 34:33
Do you know this trick? Oh, yeah. And then put it in the toaster so that it opens.
34:33 - 34:38
And then I pick up the whole thing and throw it into it like a, like a hot pocket.
34:38 - 34:44
Yeah. Food on the go. Really good. Okay. Well done. I'm happy. This is going well.
34:45 - 34:53
Then decide to view a house. Oh, what's happening here? Nothing really. Moving out of the flat.
34:53 - 35:01
No, there is an intriguing. Just imagine. Sorry. Interruption. Imagine, you know, if we were to move house, I'd have to tell Ian.
35:01 - 35:06
I would obviously presume. Jamie would be in the, in the decision making process. You'd have to tell her.
35:07 - 35:12
You would have to tell her. Willie is okay, but you'd have to sit down with each one of every, of the 18 bikes.
35:14 - 35:21
Say, we're going somewhere else. It'll be fine. Okay. So you're viewing a house. This is, the podcast is so successful.
35:21 - 35:31
You're going from a flat to a house, David, look at this. Like how high up my list of reasons for doing this would potentially be a home for the bikes.
35:31 - 35:39
Like the bike. I haven't bought a bike in a year now. I mean, this is like someone at AA, isn't it?
35:39 - 35:46
You know, just round of applause. Well done. Bikes anonymous. But there's still six bikes in the sitting room.
35:46 - 35:50
You know what I mean? There's still two in the hall, four in the office, two behind me.
35:51 - 36:00
Got it. There's still too many bikes. And it would be lovely to liberate those bikes by giving them a place of their own, really, where they could all sit in a line.
36:00 - 36:04
Like, imagine that. What about a shed? What about a bike shed? I have a shed.
36:04 - 36:08
It's full of bikes. And then, if you had a bike shed, you and Helen could get off behind it.
36:08 - 36:16
Oh, wow. Quarantine lovers. Start smoking and stuff like that. Start smoking and snogging. All the things that you do behind the bike shed.
36:17 - 36:21
I wonder if that's a thing. Do our American listeners, do they understand what that means?
36:22 - 36:29
Generally, illicit things in Irish and British schools took place behind the bike. Yeah, absolutely.
36:29 - 36:34
No, I've done this in the past. We've done this in the past. Just keep an eye on things.
36:34 - 36:44
You know, this is very much the genre of an old lady house. Is she passed away or is she, is she downsizing?
36:44 - 36:50
We don't know. And I didn't ask. I just felt the estate agent may not have been forthcoming with that information.
36:51 - 36:57
Because I went to look at a probate sale of a house and in the house, they hadn't really done it up.
36:57 - 37:08
And there was a bed, at least a single bed, I'd say, I'd say almost every room, which gave such a lovely impression that this guy, you know, as he was nearing like the end of his days,
37:09 - 37:14
he was quite sleepy. He'd just have a bed in every room. So if he wanted to have a nap, he could have a nap.
37:14 - 37:19
And I was like, this is a brilliant. What a brilliant idea this is. Every room should just have at least a single bed.
37:19 - 37:24
So if you just think I'm a bit tired and you can't be bothered to go to the next room, you can just tuck yourself in this one.
37:24 - 37:33
I'm a big fan. Yeah. Like, I'm not that spooked by any house over certainly a hundred years old.
37:33 - 37:37
People have died. People have died all over the place in it. You know what I mean?
37:37 - 37:41
You can't say to the estate agent, I'm looking for a house that no one's died in.
37:42 - 37:45
That's virtually impossible. That's a weird thing to say to an estate agent is I don't think they're looking for that.
37:46 - 37:55
All right. Has anybody died in this room? No? Okay. What about this? No. I do that.
37:55 - 38:00
And then... Interruption. Are you looking at a house? You've worked out what you can afford.
38:00 - 38:09
And then you've just added 300,000 euros because the numbers are so meaningless that you think, well, I can't afford any of this because the house is expensive.
38:09 - 38:13
So I can't... I'm looking at houses I can't afford. And so I'll look at this one.
38:13 - 38:20
Exactly. And sometimes you just see a house and you see there's a viewing on or there's a viewing later today.
38:21 - 38:28
And you just... I'll have a look at that then, really. Do you know what's fun here is like they have a little sign saying auction 2 p.m.
38:28 - 38:32
And you're like, wow. And do they just have it outside it? Yeah. They're just all standing outside.
38:33 - 38:37
And there's people just standing there. And then it's, you know, it's like a cattle auction, but for a house.
38:37 - 38:41
And then, you know, there's an estate agent and they all look like estate agents.
38:41 - 38:52
And then they're like, come on, 1.4. 1.4. 1.5. 1.5. 1.5. 1.5.2. 1.5. 1.5.3. Now they're going, God, imagine I sort of think, you know, if we ever auctioned this house, I'd just be so stressed.
38:52 - 38:57
It'd be absolutely so stressful. People are like, oh, come on, let's go for it.
38:57 - 39:01
Go for it, guys. This is very basic, but I don't really understand the point of auctions.
39:01 - 39:08
Like surely you're better off just having a sale whereby for the next month, we'll try and sell it.
39:09 - 39:16
And you tell me what you would pay. And then I get back to you and say, well, someone else is willing to pay a little bit more.
39:16 - 39:24
Is that not a sort of slow motion auction? Maybe, but maybe there's sort of ego involved, you know, and you get lost in the moment.
39:24 - 39:43
And you're like, yeah, okay. 1.25 million. Is your fear then not when you're cycling around Erinsborough with Ian Rushden on the back that he just raises his hand and shouts every time he does, he buys another house.
39:43 - 39:50
Well, fortunately, like he struggles around. Once we get past 17, 18, he's not quite on board with what the numbers are.
39:50 - 39:56
So at the moment, you know, we'd actually, he'd pick us up a bargain. He'd be absolutely fine.
39:56 - 40:02
Haven't we got someone to begin at the bidding, begin at the bidding. He's straight in with 16.
40:03 - 40:07
$4. We'd be like, oh yeah, I got a two bed house in Fitzroy North for $4.
40:08 - 40:12
We got this in a private sale. We, you know, we just said, well, what about this?
40:12 - 40:16
And they went, okay. So that just makes me think we paid far too much for it.
40:16 - 40:22
You know, why did they say yes? Look, I'm happy here. Nothing may happen, but let's just see.
40:22 - 40:27
Maybe we'll have an Ian Rushden moment where we end up getting a house for $4.
40:28 - 40:31
Good for the pod. If you buy a house and you move in and we have all that sort of stuff.
40:31 - 40:34
That's good. Because of the day content, isn't it? Are we at that point now?
40:34 - 40:42
We were trying to jazz up our yesterdays, but you go and punch Trump. Yeah, I ate a live raccoon yesterday.
40:42 - 40:54
I forgot it wasn't my yesterday. I really regret it now. So then I need to do the incredibly self-indulgent thing of listening to myself.
40:54 - 41:00
I'm going on tour around Ireland and doing some gigs in London too for the next while.
41:01 - 41:06
Yeah, I know you've advertised them when I was getting a beer. I really had the show down in Edinburgh.
41:06 - 41:14
It's no harm to listen back to it a bunch of times and then critically say what could be better and etc.
41:14 - 41:20
So I have my own show playing in my headphones. This is not while looking at the house.
41:20 - 41:31
We've now moved on. Where are you listening to this? I do it on the bike and then I go to the cafe where I'm attempting to listen to myself.
41:31 - 41:38
But then I meet my old friend Maria who moved in about 2005, moved to America.
41:38 - 41:48
And she's there with her partner and we have a lovely chat. But that does end up breaking up my listening to myself.
41:48 - 41:56
I see. I see. And unfortunately kickstarts a period of intense procrastination then. What time is it?
41:56 - 42:02
Sort of three o'clock? Yeah, we're about three now. My job is to make dinner for the
42:02 - 42:08
Helen copter. Yeah. Surely after a hard day's work, after making breakfast, she should come home and make dinner for you, surely.
42:09 - 42:17
So I decide I'll do something with sweet potatoes. So then I go to a couple of places to get some nice sweet potatoes.
42:18 - 42:25
And then I notice my bike has a click coming from the crank, which we correctly identify.
42:25 - 42:28
I know someone who can fix it. You know, I know someone who can fix it.
42:28 - 42:34
Process of elimination. It's one of the pedals. It's a tiny bit loose. So we take that out, grease it and put it back in.
42:35 - 42:43
And then I think this might be the ultimate like boss level of procrastination. What do you think boss procrastination is?
42:43 - 42:53
The very highest level. Well, that is, for me, is opening the cupboard with all the letters that I know I don't want to look at.
42:53 - 43:00
Getting them out of the cupboard, looking at them all again and deciding they should be filed in a more sensible way.
43:00 - 43:07
And putting them back in the cupboard. Mine is defrost the freezer. Ah, really good.
43:07 - 43:17
I don't think I defrosted a freezer in 20 years. Well, one of the drawers of frozen produce is struggling to shut.
43:17 - 43:24
You have to karate hit it with your palm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's a bit of an in-out job.
43:24 - 43:31
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I see very clearly what it is. The thermostat's frozen over.
43:31 - 43:38
And then the back of the freezer is starting to. So initially it's just like, ah, yeah, you should deal with that.
43:39 - 43:42
And so I just pull out the drawer and I sort of touch it with my hand.
43:43 - 43:47
And then I decide if you're going to do this, you're going to do it properly.
43:47 - 43:55
Right. So I get the hairdryer. That's the best way of doing it. It's the environmentally best way to do it for sure.
43:55 - 44:01
Rather than do. Well, you can do it. You just get some towels and open the freezer, get all the stuff out and let it thaw.
44:02 - 44:07
Yeah, but all the stuff's going to thaw and you shouldn't refreeze stuff that's thawed.
44:07 - 44:15
Okay. I'm pretty sure that's one of the golden rules of not getting botulism is not refreeze.
44:15 - 44:23
The 10 famous botulism rules. Also, the stuff in that freezer from when I moved in.
44:23 - 44:30
Of course there is. Of course there is. The freezer was left by cock ring, the former inhabitant of my house.
44:30 - 44:36
So it's just always been there. There's mackerel in there and stuff that you don't even want to think about it.
44:36 - 44:48
So I go at it with the hairdryer. Hairdryer. It's such a good. It's actually the hairdryer of my first girlfriend ever from 1996.
44:51 - 44:58
It still works fine. Right. Does she know you've got it? Yeah, she does. I send her photos of it occasionally.
44:59 - 45:08
But it's now been demoted to the defrosting of freezers. I see. Like he's like, I used to be a big player.
45:08 - 45:13
I used to dry the hair of, you know, the future Mrs. O'Doherty. And now look at me.
45:16 - 45:25
So it's going well. Yeah. It's very satisfying. It's like global warming because you heat the big lump.
45:25 - 45:33
And then at some point, a huge lump falls out. The glacier splits apart. Yeah.
45:33 - 45:42
The polar bear is left abandoned. This is good stuff. So we've now just got a bit left at the bottom, which funnily enough seems impervious.
45:42 - 45:48
Or maybe I, the procrastination is just building in me too much, which is just, you've basically done it.
45:48 - 45:53
But I'm like, no, I must get all of the ice out. It's only taken 15 minutes.
45:53 - 46:03
So the stuff is still frozen. Generally, I'm checking that. And I do the number one thing you're not supposed to do when defrosting a freezer.
46:03 - 46:10
I get a sharp knife. Yeah. And we know this. Just don't do it. Do not do that.
46:10 - 46:17
Just use the hairdryer and maybe a wooden spoon to knock the bits out. Of the knife block.
46:17 - 46:26
You've got little, thin, fat cleaver, unnecessary cleaver and bread knife. What are you going for?
46:27 - 46:35
In Cluedo terms, I've got the dagger. Serrated or unserrated? Unserrated. Unserrated dagger. He needed to slide under.
46:35 - 46:46
But I push it too hard under. Mealing in front of the freezer, surrounded by frozen things that are starting to defrost.
46:48 - 46:56
I hit a main line and immediately starts coming out from the freezer. If it's your leg?
46:57 - 47:00
Oh, your freezer. Right. Okay. Yeah. I fucked it. Hang on. You're in the drawer.
47:01 - 47:05
Yeah. You've gone through the drawer. I've taken the drawers out. Oh, right. You're just on the back bit.
47:06 - 47:10
I've put quite space. Oh, no. And I'm just hitting the back. Like, it's the last bit.
47:10 - 47:14
I've done a great job getting all the rest. Do you think it's going to explode?
47:15 - 47:18
Because if you hear that, you think, oh, no, I don't want to get blown up by a freezer.
47:18 - 47:33
So I'm kneeling in front of it, like in a prayer of sorts, and I go straight onto my phone and just put in the keywords, defrost, freezer, knife, air.
47:34 - 47:41
Psss. Then you're like, psss. Is the freezer deflating like a balloon? Is it flying around the kitchen now?
47:42 - 47:52
The internet is unanimous. This is a dangerous CFC gas. Okay. Plug it immediately and put it outside, basically.
47:53 - 47:57
Yeah. How easy is it to get? Do you have one of those wheelie trolleys to get the freezer outside?
47:57 - 48:08
It's beside the back door. Okay. So I move 3,000 bags for life to clear the space, and I haul it out into the garden.
48:08 - 48:14
Hang on. Interruption. Is it a fridge freezer, or is the freezer independent of the fridge? No. The freezer is beside the washing machine. And so now it's a situation where I have a lot of work to do. I was procrastinating. And now I am destroying, certainly, what's the monetary value of everything in the freezer? Probably like 150's quid worth of. Good fun Price is right that, isn't it? Good fun price is right to play with your friends, is to go round their house and say What's the monetary value of all the food in the freezer? Maybe they've got a pheasant in there, you don't know. Keep the door closed, have a guess, and maybe we'll play that later.
48:41 - 48:51
Uh-huh. No, that's too, it's not 150, but it's certainly 50 or it's a sizable amount. Can I have a little guess?
48:51 - 48:57
You've got some, you've got one Tupperware of stock. Oh my God. I do. Yeah.
48:58 - 49:07
I am. It's a sizable stock from five to six months ago that you will end up dropping in the sink and watching it, pouring the hot water tap on it and watching it go down the sink.
49:07 - 49:14
That is so spooky. Yes. I boiled out a chicken carcass about six months ago.
49:14 - 49:18
Yeah. And have it in the, yeah. So like, how do you put a monetary value on that?
49:18 - 49:27
That's priceless. It's priceless. You can't, you know. It's surprising they don't go up at Sotheby's more often.
49:35 - 50:03
It's priceless. It's priceless. One, you can easily identify one. You just do not know what it is, but it's probably, it's mince based.
50:04 - 50:13
Yep. They're in bags though. Not to worry. Okay. But they're in bags. Maybe you've got one frozen berries because you, you know, someone's thinking about having some smoothies.
50:14 - 50:19
Yeah. Okay. So many ice packs. Yeah. So many ice packs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
50:20 - 50:45
As in, every time I've sprained anything for the last five years, ten years I buy one of those ice packs that's got a gel thing in it. I think probably the chemist sells it as in you'll need this cos it's hot and cold, and they all just live in the freezer. So it turns out you could provide for the Irish rugby team, for the next six nations, all the ice packs they need. Yeah.
50:45 - 51:26
Yes. I could put it round a dolphin and transport it around the world. You know, it's that level of ice pack. There's a bunch of steaks in there. Oh really? There's maybe four steaks. Some fish that you'll never eat. I mean no one ever thaws fish and eats it. They thaw fish, look at it, and go not sure about that. Loads of ice pops from the summer. Probably from years and years, a few ice creams, a ben and jerrys. Now some of it we get into the ice box in the regular freezer. Right. Sorry is Helen back now or not? No, the royal we, we was me and my team, which is aka me. You, Ernest Shackleton. He's good in cold climate.
51:26 - 51:34
So he's good at this. He is. One of his crew did once get his Mickey stuck to the steel mast on the endurance though.
51:35 - 51:41
And the lads had to like pull him off basically. Yeah. Yeah. With a hairdryer.
51:41 - 51:46
They used your first girlfriend's hairdryer. Okay. Right. So you've got some in the ice box.
51:46 - 51:55
That's good. So I've put in as much as possible. So the reason I do feel stressed here is because I'm supposed to be listening to the show.
51:55 - 52:06
But now we have an actual crisis. It's approaching rush hour now. So I decide to drive to an electrical goods place near me.
52:06 - 52:11
I'm just going to buy one. I'll buy a cheap freezer. Well, this one ain't coming back.
52:11 - 52:18
No. It's done. It's done. Get there. And they have the perfect one. Biko, the brand named after.
52:18 - 52:25
The late Steve Biko, who the movie Cry Freedom is about. I would imagine that's who it's named after.
52:25 - 52:31
I think so. Yeah. So I say, I want that one. And the lady rings it up and everything.
52:31 - 52:40
Great. Super. That'll be delivered in the next five days. No. I have stuff like thawing in the back garden.
52:40 - 52:48
I can't wait for this. Yes. So I go home and it's a brutal moment because...
52:48 - 52:51
Hang on. Did you say I can't? That's not good. No, I can't. That's no good.
52:51 - 52:57
You're not just thinking, okay, I'm just going to lose. Surely the neighbor who you power washed his patio could fit a few steak in.
52:57 - 53:07
We've got the high value goods in the freeze box of the fridge. Now, I don't think that's as cold as a freezer, but it'll keep it going for a few days.
53:07 - 53:14
I arrive home and have to break the news to some of the stuff that it's going in the bin.
53:15 - 53:23
Things like old fish, prawns, et cetera, are starting to thaw. You couldn't cook an absolute feast for Helen.
53:24 - 53:29
So you don't want her to know that the freezer's broken. So you cook course after course.
53:29 - 53:33
It's the prawn course. It's the fish course. Now we're just going to have a pint of stock each.
53:34 - 53:44
And then it's peas. Yes, that's what I do. I create one of the most chaotic meals that anyone has ever...
53:44 - 53:51
It was my intention to make something nice. We have a full bag of frozen sweet potato chips.
53:52 - 53:58
I have a thing of mince that I just put in a pan with onion.
53:58 - 54:04
I put a burger into it and break that into it as well. Good stuff.
54:04 - 54:12
Try and make it flavorful with garlic. A full bag of peas that end up just throwing into the mince then as well.
54:12 - 54:21
Like it's the native meal of some country that it's like a Moldovan stooch. Helen, have you never had a Moldovan stooch?
54:22 - 54:26
Why am I eating it with an ice pack? Why is it served on an ice pack?
54:26 - 54:37
That's what I don't understand. And Helen Copter arrives back. Then I tell her that I've stabbed the old freezer with a dagger.
54:40 - 54:46
Everything's fucked Helen. I've done it again. Does she have like a phrase for this now?
54:47 - 54:51
She's holding your head sort of lovingly and she says, What will we do with you, David?
54:53 - 54:58
No, she's holding the hair on the back of my head and just pounding my head.
54:58 - 55:11
She's slamming my head using the door of the freezer. Never stab a freezer. So look, Helen finds it all hilarious.
55:11 - 55:16
We eat this dinner. It's actually fine. Do you know what we end up doing?
55:16 - 55:24
Because it's difficult to eat. And who cares? There's also some frozen flatbreads in there.
55:25 - 55:34
They've defrosted now. So we end up just wrapping this chaotic meat slash chips dish, making it sort of like a burrito or something.
55:35 - 55:40
Okay. It's actually pretty nice, to be honest. We all have a laugh about it.
55:40 - 55:52
Helen Copter has to do some studying. So I decide I will ride 20K on the bike behind me, connected to the Wahoo trainer.
55:52 - 56:04
Yeah. And I cycle around. It's just called Australiana, the course. Okay. I'm going past kind of Great Ocean Road of Melbourne.
56:04 - 56:08
Oh, nice. And then Sydney Harbour Bridge. Like it doesn't make any sense. It's just a sort of...
56:08 - 56:15
There's continuity issues, but fine. Yeah. Kangaroos are bouncing past. It's such a different time because I'm sitting here in the background.
56:15 - 56:28
You can see the bike that I ride and connected to the home trainer. To the listeners, that's connected to my laptop, the thing that's on the back wheel, Bluetooth to the laptop.
56:28 - 56:35
And so that's where I'm watching the images. I'm also racing against some other people.
56:35 - 56:41
And there's one guy called King of Brexit. Like you get to put your name in.
56:42 - 56:47
So I take it upon myself to chase down the King of Brexit. Oh, well done.
56:47 - 56:51
Yeah. Does he have a really red face and he's got like Union Jack outfit?
56:51 - 56:57
Yeah, he has a Union Jack cycling top on. But you get to design your own avatar in it.
56:57 - 57:07
And because I've put in my actual height and weight, they have made a realistic Lord David-y avatar.
57:07 - 57:13
But King of Brexit has obviously told them that he's nine stone. He's Johnny Bravo.
57:14 - 57:22
Absolutely ripped. Yeah. And so I chase him for 40 minutes. It's how long it takes to ride 20K.
57:23 - 57:28
Like it's so, I'm putting so much effort into this. Because it's the King of Brexit.
57:28 - 57:33
I mean, that certainly helps. Yeah. Like the image, where are you, this camera to be on?
57:33 - 57:41
I'm on that bike and I'm just in, not even cycling shorts, the undies that go under regular shorts with a padded ass in them.
57:41 - 57:50
And 10 minutes in, I ripped my t-shirt off. Wow. So it's just me on this bike with the little shoes with the clicky things under them.
57:50 - 57:57
And there's points where we're going up hills in Australiana. And I'm like, ah, ah, ah.
57:57 - 58:05
Like it must be absolutely insane. Yeah. And it must be, I would say, essential that Helen doesn't see this.
58:05 - 58:15
Yes. Yes. She must never, ever see this. She is upstairs studying away. Fine. I get out immediately.
58:15 - 58:27
Like there's no option other than to have a shower. Do you know that sort of like squash wetness where kind of like Zinedine Zidane water, there's a tap at the end of your nose that's just dripping.
58:28 - 58:31
But then you have a shower and you get out and you're still sweating. It's that kind of thing.
58:31 - 58:37
That's the problem. I get out and I know because I'm, I'm finally get to do the work that I was supposed to do hours before.
58:38 - 58:43
And I'm dripping from the tip of my nose with this. Yeah. You need to Adam Buxton.
58:43 - 58:48
You need to go cold. And who wants to do that? Oh yeah. Maybe that is what I need to do.
58:48 - 58:53
I'm sitting naked because there's no point in putting on any clothes in the kitchen.
58:53 - 59:00
And Helen comes down and that's the sight that she sees instead. Just a man working away.
59:01 - 59:08
I do the work that I had planned. We decide we'll watch the telly. It's about 1030 now just for half an hour.
59:09 - 59:15
Helen doesn't like it when I watch the telly in the nude. I don't think she likes balls on cushion.
59:15 - 59:23
The couch. Got it. Yeah. Look, if I ever come around, I'll remember it. I put on her knees.
59:23 - 59:28
Do you think she'd tell me straight? Or do you think, David, David, in the kitchen, can I have a word?
59:28 - 59:34
It would be a gray area if you were in a kilt. Right. Because she'd be like, has he got anything on under that kilt?
59:34 - 59:38
But I don't have a kilt. If I arrive in a kilt, you'll know that's exactly.
59:38 - 59:46
I'm just trying to see if Helen cares more about balls on couch or, you know, the sort of courtesy of, you know, I think his balls are on the couch.
59:46 - 59:58
We're going to just watch telly for half an hour, but then we end up getting stuck into an Irish home improvement show where they're building a house on the cheap and the gable end collapses on it.
59:58 - 1:00:03
It was actually a pretty good one. And then we should definitely go to bed after that.
1:00:03 - 1:00:10
But Jessica Ennis's Who Do You Think You Are is on, which in many ways rips off this podcast.
1:00:10 - 1:00:15
Of course. It's a more thorough What Did You Do Yesterday? No, that's true. Going right.
1:00:15 - 1:00:21
What did you do on numerous yesterdays? What did other people that related to you do yesterday before that?
1:00:21 - 1:00:27
That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the original title of it till Mars bar sued the crap out of them.
1:00:27 - 1:00:42
And what's his, has Ennis got an interesting backstory? Yeah. Ennis has a really interesting backstory and she's learning a lot about her great grandparents in Jamaica and then her other great grandparents in Birmingham.
1:00:42 - 1:00:53
I think there's odd stuff in it where like some people were just sent off to what were called asylums for 60 years and no one ever spoke about them ever again.
1:00:53 - 1:00:59
It's good gear. You're not expecting it. Oh, okay. Got it. And Ennis is not expecting it either.
1:01:00 - 1:01:05
I do wonder how they make that show. Because I guess they just say, can we have you for a week?
1:01:05 - 1:01:12
And every day we will go to Jamaica for two days and then we'll go to Solihull for whatever.
1:01:12 - 1:01:16
You know what I mean? It's... Sadly, I don't think everyone gets to go to Jamaica.
1:01:16 - 1:01:27
I wouldn't. And I'd be nice, wouldn't it? You'd have to like crowbar that in going, I think I have a funny feeling that my great, great uncle is from the Seychelles.
1:01:27 - 1:01:34
Radha Waterslide Park in Mauritius. If we could go there, I'll just see if it feels like that's the case.
1:01:34 - 1:01:42
I think my great, great, great, great granddad, he ran an all-inclusive, no kids allowed, high-end
1:01:45 - 1:01:52
hotel on the Amalfi Coast. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. We start to feel sleepy.
1:01:52 - 1:02:00
We go up to bed. There's no crosswords. There's no anything. And that is what I did yesterday.
1:02:01 - 1:02:11
That's a lovely day. I have one question, David. A few months ago, I was in Teddington and I saw a comedian putting up posters for his show.
1:02:11 - 1:02:16
And then a couple of days later, the hotel I was in, a footballer walked past me.
1:02:16 - 1:02:21
Do you know who they are? Yes. Yes, I do. Do you want to have a guess?
1:02:21 - 1:02:27
Or are you going to keep it to yourself? No, it was Jonjo Shelvey and Mickey Flanagan.
1:02:28 - 1:02:34
Okay. Producer Will, I don't know if you're contractually allowed to talk, but would you like to have a guess?
1:02:35 - 1:02:40
This slightly exposes a lack of knowledge on football, which I'm slightly nervous about. It's okay.
1:02:40 - 1:02:50
I will... Stanley Matthews. I'll go Stanley Matthews and Joe Pasquale. He's got it. Would you believe it?
1:02:51 - 1:02:55
Finally, the quiz is done. It was Sir Stanley Matthews. May he rest in peace.
1:02:56 - 1:03:02
And Joe Pasquale. No, I'm afraid incorrect, I'm afraid. But thank you Will. If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how.
1:03:04 - 1:03:10
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:03:10 - 1:03:17
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:03:17 - 1:03:24
And if you didn't, please don't. Hey, thanks, David. I think you had a nice day.
1:03:24 - 1:03:29
I really tried to keep this under an hour. Because I know that's the goal of this podcast.
1:03:29 - 1:03:36
The day, as we say in Ireland, the day got away from me. Which is normally what you say when you go to the pub and have six pints in the afternoon.
1:03:37 - 1:03:41
Well, there is a common saying that if you stab your freezer, the podcast will be longer.
1:03:42 - 1:03:47
That's definitely, it's quite a new saying. So hang on, what's happening with the, did you order a freezer?
1:03:48 - 1:03:56
There's a nice electrical goods shop that I don't know how it hangs on still in the era of the big box stores.
1:03:56 - 1:04:07
That's near me. Oh, it's an independent artisan. They've chiseled this freezer themselves. So I'm going to go over there with a hand trolley now and buy.
1:04:07 - 1:04:15
I mean, I think all freezers are the same. I doubt there's any, the way with something like a washing machine or a Hoover, you might go, what do the different ones do?
1:04:16 - 1:04:22
All freezers do are freeze the shit out of everything. So I think I'll just get a cheap freezer.
1:04:23 - 1:04:28
I look forward to hearing about the new freezer, David. And I'm not in the freezer for life.
1:04:29 - 1:04:34
That's a different, that's a different podcast. There's a true crime one, isn't it? But I'm in it for life.
1:04:34 - 1:04:37
Thank you, David. Thanks, Max.