0:00 - 0:10
Podcasts. There are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
0:10 - 0:15
I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it.
0:15 - 0:19
And they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
0:19 - 0:24
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
0:24 - 0:33
Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly. But not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
0:33 - 0:36
We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
0:36 - 0:42
What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.
0:42 - 0:48
Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
0:48 - 0:54
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.
0:54 - 1:04
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to today's episode, series three, episode something of What Did You Do Yesterday?
1:04 - 1:14
Another of your bookings, David. Episode something. I mean, this is definitively when we discussed doing this podcast first.
1:14 - 1:22
I said, oh, well, I can probably ask a few of my comedy friends. And you had one person that you could ask.
1:22 - 1:30
And that was DJ Trevor Nelson. It was national treasure. Pioneer. Of soul music in the UK.
1:30 - 1:39
And my former neighbour, Trevor Nelson. How many times would you say you reached out to him to ask him to do this?
1:39 - 1:46
He's a busy man. Probably three. Is that it? Okay, fine. Yeah, I didn't go crazy.
1:46 - 1:51
And as you'll hear, he sort of dresses up the fact that I'm constantly hassling him.
1:51 - 1:54
But I'm not really. Back in the day, he'd come over and watch Super Sunday.
1:54 - 2:00
Because he's a massive football fan. Absolutely obsessed. Yeah. Once I did borrow his microwave.
2:00 - 2:05
We get into that as well. I have told it before. Some of this is going, oh, you're not serious.
2:05 - 2:09
But as you'll establish, for the tape, as you'll establish, he is a microwave fan.
2:09 - 2:21
There's no getting away from that. The proof is in his yesterday. The fact that you two are friends and used to watch Super Saturday together is just hell.
2:21 - 2:26
It's just a buddy cop movie. It's why have these two guys been thrown together?
2:26 - 2:37
Exactly. Yeah. From a musical point. Point of view, I would say from a coolness point of view, just from an everything point of view, I love that you two are friends.
2:37 - 2:50
You normally say, and then he's not on Mock the Week, but it is worth saying that Trevor Nelson, he was at MTV, he was at Radio 1, he was at One Extra and at Radio's Afternoons on Radio 2, and is a sort of a pioneer of, yeah, introducing soul music.
2:50 - 2:54
I'm not going to say introducing it, but being a massive part of that to the United Kingdom.
2:54 - 3:05
Yes. Ran a record label for a while. Is responsible. Is responsible for like bringing a lot of black music into the mainstream of British culture.
3:05 - 3:13
But the irony is, he's a massive square. Like that is the absolute nerd. Always thought it.
3:13 - 3:18
And now we've done the episode, absolute proof. There it is. Anyway, here is what Trevor Nelson did yesterday.
3:18 - 3:33
Trevor. Nelson, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Mate, one of the highlights of my day.
3:33 - 3:41
That feels cynical. I will say this is a national treasure, David, that we have here.
3:41 - 3:49
And the first former neighbour of mine to appear on the podcast. I did ask the McKetney Jarvis's from the 80s.
3:49 - 3:53
I asked Frank and Janet from over the road. All busy. But Trevor Nelson, available.
3:53 - 4:00
And here he is. It's because she's still got my contact details. You think if you have my contact details, I'll be available.
4:00 - 4:04
I don't think I would. You're 10,000 miles away from me. I still can't escape you.
4:04 - 4:14
Jeez. It's insane. So, Trevor, cards on the table. When the name Max Rushden comes up in a text, what's the first thing your brain thinks?
4:14 - 4:21
Oh, no. Don't open it. Don't open it. You know when you get WhatsApp messages and you may get a barrage in one day?
4:21 - 4:28
You do cherry pick which ones to open first, don't you? The ones that make you feel good, you might go for first.
4:28 - 4:35
Max Rushden normally, if I've got 10, he'll get the eighth. He might get 8 o'clock open.
4:35 - 4:44
Yeah. The thing is, Trevor, it is not a stretch to say that without me and without the anecdote that may or may not come up.
4:44 - 4:56
Oh, please don't. You probably wouldn't be where you are today. Actually, Max, you've done me a great favour being my ex-neighbour because when people think I'm a little bit too much integrity,
4:56 - 5:02
a little bit... uptight about my career and about stuff like that, then they realise I know you.
5:02 - 5:12
Yeah. And when that story pops up somewhere, they just think, oh, there's a side to him that is a little quirky, a little different, a little left of centre.
5:12 - 5:20
He's got some oddball friend. You know, like if you've got a mate who's a great chess player, you know, and you take him on holiday and he wants to pull out a chess board.
5:20 - 5:24
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the lads are on a stag do. You're kind of that quirky mate of mine.
5:24 - 5:37
I was once in Tenerife with the Soccer Saturday boys I think Charlie Nicholas was having a pint of wine at two in the afternoon and I took a book out on a sun lounger and they looked at me suspiciously.
5:37 - 5:42
Then I said I was going for a nap and it was like I'd told them I'd killed their entire family.
5:42 - 5:49
You're right. To you I am. I'm Magnus Carlsen. Because, you know, you've got an image, Trevor, of being one of the coolest guys in the country.
5:49 - 5:56
But the truth we will find out today is it could be very different. We're not very dissimilar actually, Max.
5:56 - 6:00
I'll keep ribbing you. No. The truth is we're all geeks, aren't we, deep down?
6:00 - 6:06
We're all geeks that somehow made it through into the public consciousness and got a platform.
6:06 - 6:14
I don't know how, but I think, you know, that saying that geeks rule the world, well, I really believe it because most people I meet at the summit, not you, of course,
6:14 - 6:19
but the people I've met at the summit of entertainment have got geekisms about them.
6:19 - 6:25
Who do you think has made a greater impact on soul music in the UK?
6:25 - 6:30
Oh, my God. Oh, don't, don't put yourself. Who do I think has made a greater impact?
6:30 - 6:35
Me and you. You said we're similar. Oh, I see. Labby Siffrey or Max Rushden?
6:35 - 6:40
Who's had a bigger impact? Oh, that's a tough one. That is a real tough one.
6:40 - 6:47
Labby Siffrey, who wrote some great songs and has a story career, or Max Rushden?
6:47 - 6:52
My cover of Something Inside So Strong, which never really charted. It's a tough one.
6:52 - 6:56
It's a tough one. Trevor, let's get down to business. What time did you wake up yesterday?
6:57 - 7:01
My wife woke me up as she was going to work. So it was about 10 o'clock.
7:01 - 7:08
Oh, wow. 10 a.m.? Yeah. Wow. Showbiz people do. You're lazy bones. Lazy? I came in.
7:08 - 7:17
I drove from East Sussex. And if you've been to East Sussex, you know that the first hour you're trying to get to London, the first hour of that drive is very dark,
7:17 - 7:25
very fiddly. There was a sign that said, beware of wild boar. I've been driving around Britain quite a few years.
7:25 - 7:34
I've never seen a sign that said, beware of wild boar. So I'm driving and I'm, you know, headlights, you know, full beam on as you do when you're driving down these country lanes.
7:34 - 7:39
And then lo and behold, I saw two dead wild boar being hit by cars.
7:39 - 7:44
It was two in the morning, man. I was a bit freaked out. So you were sleepy from the night before.
7:44 - 7:48
We can't really include any details from the night before. It was the same day.
7:48 - 7:54
Yeah, so it was two in the morning. Three in the morning. I was driving home at three in the morning, got in, went to bed.
7:54 - 8:07
The wife woke me up. 10 a.m. Yeah, 10 a.m. 10 a.m. Do you bounce up, make her a beautiful breakfast, really get the whole day going, put on some her favorite music,
8:07 - 8:13
just really get the whole house jumping at 10 a.m.? You know what I do first when I wake up?
8:13 - 8:20
I do hip stretches. Oh, yeah. For 10.01. We're saying 10.01. I flat on my back, legs together, raised.
8:20 - 8:26
I don't have the hip stretches. I swing from side to side. Only a physio time, it's only three weeks ago.
8:26 - 8:33
30 seconds and then spring out of bed because the biggest mistake you can make when you get to a certain age is just think you can get out of bed.
8:33 - 8:38
You can't get out of bed. You cannot get out of bed and walk like a normal human being.
8:38 - 8:43
So if you don't move your hips, then I feel like I'm 21 again when I bounce out of bed.
8:43 - 8:49
Are you doing this in the bed? Yeah. Okay, so it's legs up, all the way sort of 90 degrees up and floppy, floppy, flop?
8:49 - 8:53
Yeah, legs up. Okay. Just a little bit of that. She's not in the bed.
8:53 - 8:57
My missus gets up at five in the morning. We're like ships in the night.
8:57 - 9:02
She doesn't have to. Okay. She just does. Right. Have you ever met? Yeah, when we got married.
9:02 - 9:07
Okay. I haven't seen her since. I've seen her briefly. I've seen her a couple of times.
9:07 - 9:16
Trevor, what's worn out your hips? Did you ever play sport or is it a lifetime standing behind decks?
9:16 - 9:22
You know what I mean? Dancing? What's worn out these ball and sockets? I love the fact you're here for the real questions.
9:22 - 9:40
I like golf. So my right hip is a little bit overused. Question, question. How do you feel, Trevor, about DJs in cafes or, you know, just hairdressers or just in places that are incongruous to where a DJ should be?
9:40 - 9:45
I'm not in favour. As I'm saying, when I see someone just in a booth at 11am, I'm going, this is not, this seems unnecessary.
9:45 - 9:52
I think, honestly, when I started DJing, we didn't have a light on the DJ.
9:52 - 9:56
When you went into a venue, you had to find a DJ. We didn't do, normal nightclubs.
9:56 - 10:03
So the whole idea was, you don't talk, you're not seen, and all you are is the music you're playing, right?
10:03 - 10:08
A great referee. Yeah, yeah, you're invisible. You're like Graham Poll. Yes. Referee's had a great game.
10:08 - 10:13
Collina, you don't notice. When Nelson's done a great set, you don't notice the set.
10:13 - 10:24
There you go. I've never asked him this, but Max, have you ever DJed? I mean, I bet people have asked you to play some tunes at some sort of charity football event.
10:24 - 10:32
Like you would be the worst, because your entire musical interest is Top Loader's 1998 album.
10:32 - 10:39
Have you ever taken to the decks? I've never DJed. No, my thought was, we have a live show in September at the Hackney Empire, Trevor.
10:39 - 10:48
Lovely. You could DJ, but we won't say it's you. You could be in a cupboard and just go home and no one would ever know and you DJ.
10:48 - 10:55
Why would I do that? That's the purest way to DJ. No fee. Take you back to that time where no one knew you were there.
10:55 - 11:00
The DJing, that you want to do just for one night only. Well, I mean, if I did that, I wouldn't do it at your night, would I?
11:00 - 11:10
Although Hackney Empire really does lure me back. It's such a lovely venue. It is a place that I never ever, I mean, it was there throughout my whole life and I never went in there.
11:10 - 11:14
Never had a reason to go into Hackney Empire until I came back years later.
11:14 - 11:28
Yeah, it's really strange. I would imagine, Trevor, the only person who dreads a text from Max more than you is Gary Lineker, who he got to do this podcast a few weeks ago and for this Hackney Empire gig,
11:28 - 11:37
I mean, I'm going to tell you right now, Max has been asking Gary Lineker to come on and eat a wagon wheel because during his yesterday for breakfast, he had a wagon wheel.
11:37 - 11:44
So just imagine when Lineker sees Rushden's name come up. Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:44 - 11:48
I tell you, you've just said the key word, wagon wheel. A little story about wagon wheel.
11:48 - 11:57
Here we go. My mum emigrated to St. Lucia in her 40s, actually, in the 80s late 80s.
11:57 - 12:01
She went back. She started a little nursery in St. Lucia, a little island in St. Lucia and stuff.
12:01 - 12:07
But she came back about 15 years later. And obviously, I went to visit her in St. Lucia.
12:07 - 12:13
She came over here and she bought me. Bought what? She pulled out of her bag a wagon wheel.
12:13 - 12:18
And she said, I know you like these. I liked them when I was 10, mum.
12:18 - 12:23
That was her gift to me. She thought, I've got to buy my son something.
12:23 - 12:26
She bought me a wagon wheel and pulled it. I didn't know they still made them.
12:26 - 12:29
She gave me a wagon wheel. Do they still make them? Well, of course they do.
12:29 - 12:35
It's Lineker's breakfast. You could come on with Gary from your DJing set, eat a wagon wheel with Gary.
12:35 - 12:40
It's nostalgic for you. It's the zeitgeist for him. Then we could carry on the show.
12:40 - 12:54
Right. So it's 10 o'clock and 30 seconds. You've done your hip sways. Then I snap out of bed, run downstairs, and my first thing is to calm the dog because he's going crazy because my wife's left.
12:54 - 12:58
We've got a rescue dog he's a bit, everything about him is lovely but he doesn't like being alone.
12:58 - 13:08
He's going crazy around the house. Meanwhile, I'm trying to calm him down. I got this bronzy, I don't know what you call it, it's like a cup on a long stick.
13:08 - 13:15
So I go and put food into that while I've at the same time multitasked by putting my porridge on in the microwave.
13:15 - 13:19
I'll give myself two minutes to feed the fish. How many fish are there? About 22.
13:19 - 13:27
22, 23. So you have an 11-a-side game. Is it like an outdoor pond, Trevor? Yeah. Yeah, it's an outdoor koi pond.
13:27 - 13:38
Whoa! Yeah, lovely koi pond. Yeah, with a glass. You can see them. So when he sees that that container in my hand, he starts freaking out because he knows he's going out in the garden with me.
13:38 - 13:46
Out we go. I skim the pond first of all the leaves and stuff in there, if there's any leaves and debris in there.
13:46 - 13:54
I do that in about 45 seconds, leaving me one minute 15 because the porridge takes two minutes exactly.
13:55 - 14:02
Yeah, yeah. So then I try and distribute the food because they go mad and they go so mad they splash the food out.
14:02 - 14:09
They fight each other and the food splashes out and the dog wants to eat the food so badly he's stiffened around because he smells, it's such a strong smell.
14:09 - 14:13
It's an interesting dynamic every morning. Has the dog ever tried to eat the fish?
14:13 - 14:21
No. He's curious. The cat though spends a whole day looking at the fish. She's mesmerized by it.
14:21 - 14:29
I net back in, get the dog and dog's happy by which time the porridge is done and I start adding my secret ingredients to my porridge.
14:29 - 14:35
Question. Before we get to the secret ingredients, what microwave are you currently rocking? Not yours.
14:35 - 14:42
Not yours, mate. I've got a very high-end microwave built in. Not portable. No neighbor can come and borrow it.
14:42 - 14:56
Yeah, just leave it at that. Okay, so I gotta step in here. While some listeners have come to this from Max's football work, some have come just from other corners of the world the internet,
14:56 - 15:09
podcasting, life generally, and they may not know that once every three months, Max on his football podcast mentions an incident with Trevor Nelson at a microwave.
15:09 - 15:15
So just very quickly, I mean, I don't know who to turn to first. I think me.
15:15 - 15:22
I think me. What's the story with the microwave, Trevor? I'll only say the story if you promise never, ever to mention it again.
15:22 - 15:30
Can we publicly say this is a Can we say this is it? I will do it if you get every fact right, Trevor.
15:30 - 15:40
Okay. You tell me when I'm wrong. Okay. It's not that it's embedded in my brain, but I'm reminded on a regular basis from some random person who will send me a DM talking about my microwave.
15:40 - 15:46
The fun thing is when Trevor does an Instagram post about something completely different and then all the comments are like, yeah, Trevor, I love this.
15:46 - 15:51
I love Warren G, whatever. And I just write, how's your microwave? Just in the middle of the comments.
15:51 - 16:01
Max, you have run me away from X. I don't do X anymore I have over 100,000 followers on X and I don't touch it because of Max Rushden.
16:01 - 16:13
Yeah, so it was a Christmas. 2012, Christmas Day. 2012 was it? Okay, 2012, Christmas Day. I lived next door to Max who had a much smaller apartment.
16:13 - 16:18
Yeah, I did. In the building next door. It was higher up. I was in a basement.
16:18 - 16:26
I was in a basement apartment so I could see the rear of his flat the fire escape from his flat I could see the roof terrace.
16:26 - 16:31
There was one time I had a party at my house and at midnight I got Trevor to come out and wave at all my friends.
16:31 - 16:42
They were very impressed. Oh my God. That's so weird. Okay, next. Christmas Day 2012, Trevor.
16:42 - 16:48
Okay, Christmas Day 2012. Sorry, we're cracking on. I get a call. Christmas Day you only get a call from family.
16:48 - 16:52
Yeah. It's a time for family. We like family, I would say. No, we're not.
16:52 - 16:56
I didn't want a call from Max Rushden on Christmas. What does he want? I'm like, what does he want?
16:56 - 17:02
Oh yeah, seriously. Is this guy that lonely he's calling me on Christmas Day? Yes.
17:02 - 17:08
Max casually says, I don't know who says this to anybody. Tell me when I'm wrong, Max.
17:08 - 17:15
Have you got a spare microwave? Who has a spare microwave? Okay, but hang on.
17:15 - 17:20
Hang on. Auntie Gay arrived and she had a Christmas pudding that needed microwaving. I didn't have a microwave.
17:20 - 17:24
I didn't say, do you have a spare microwave? I just said, have you got a microwave?
17:24 - 17:29
Okay, sorry. I apologise. So you said, then back to you, Betty. Yeah, back to me.
17:29 - 17:37
Now, this is the thing, right? When I bought the flat, the tight git who sold me the flat, he left a microwave.
17:37 - 17:44
It's the only thing he left me. And it was probably 20 years old already. It was like this really strange microwave.
17:44 - 17:48
And I thought, I'm not using that. But I didn't get rid of it. I just stuck it in a cupboard.
17:48 - 17:53
I thought I punished Max by giving him that microwave. I thought, there's no way it's going to work.
17:53 - 17:58
I said, I've got a spare microwave. He went, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he came and collected the microwave, right?
17:58 - 18:03
Did you? I said to my missus, you can keep it, mate. If he wants that, he can keep it.
18:03 - 18:08
So he didn't know I was actually donating it to him. Thanks for doing a house clearance for me, I thought.
18:08 - 18:14
Until the doorbell rang again. And then he said, have you got any spare chairs?
18:14 - 18:21
Yeah, I need some more chairs. And I went, you've invited people around your house and you haven't thought to have enough seating.
18:21 - 18:27
He said, no, no. How many chairs did I give you? Two. Two, okay. I did return the chairs.
18:27 - 18:31
I returned the chairs. Did you come round and then ask for a table? No.
18:31 - 18:33
I can't remember. I'm sure it's a good one. Are you sure? No, no, no.
18:33 - 18:38
It was just microwave, then chairs. And that was the story. There's nothing else to this story.
18:38 - 18:47
He's made it a 10, 12 year epic, like, non-story. He's upset so many people who can't get those minutes back in their life.
18:47 - 18:54
Okay. Thanks, Trevor Nelson. Max, do you have anything to add? Do you feel anything's being left out there?
18:55 - 19:01
Well, if that's the story, what has this magical tale evolved over time, then? I'll tell you why, David.
19:01 - 19:07
Isn't it funny that you've borrowed Trevor Nelson's microwave on Christmas Day 2012 and you kept it for your whole life?
19:07 - 19:12
That's funny, right? To the lay person, it's funny that it's Trevor Nelson who lives next door.
19:12 - 19:18
It's funny that he's left you a microwave. It's funny that it's still, actually, it did explode and it's currently in my downstairs toilet.
19:18 - 19:25
And when I get back to London, I'm going to post it back to Trevor and then video him opening his front door with it there.
19:25 - 19:32
What was the brand, by the way? It's a Panasonic. Oh, it's Panasonic, okay. And it did play, when you pressed start, it played Regulate by Warren G.
19:32 - 19:41
Okay, so you've got your porridge. What are the secret ingredients of the porridge? Well, they're not secret.
19:41 - 19:45
They're what everybody uses, probably. Seeds, I mean, I've turned into this, Max. It's my wife.
19:45 - 19:53
Oh, it's okay. Sliced banana. Uh-huh. Sliced almonds. Blueberries. Bit of sweetness in there, Trevor?
19:53 - 19:56
Bit of honey or something like that? No, no. No need. No need there, David.
19:56 - 20:01
The banana does that. Are you making it with milk or water? Almond milk. Almond milk.
20:01 - 20:05
Okay, fine. Yeah, not that I know what that does. I have no idea what almond milk should be.
20:05 - 20:10
That's what the wife buys me. Fine, go on. I do what she does. Trevor Nelson's got to have a coffee with that.
20:10 - 20:16
Come on. Up to standard. Now, my wife makes coffee, but not for me. Right.
20:16 - 20:21
I have instant coffee because I'm always up late. You guys could not be more different.
20:21 - 20:35
Like, as in, we've got that you lived in the same building but Max's coffee order, which we won't go into now, is so annoying that if the person doesn't fill the cup to three quarters with the special foamy milk on the double shot,
20:35 - 20:42
he basically, his day is derailed, Trevor. So it's good to know that there's someone with a bit of perspective here.
20:42 - 20:46
Just Nescafe. Just a cup of Nescafe. Ask yourself the question. Ask yourself the question.
20:46 - 20:53
I will do, Trevor. What's the most popular coffee in this country? Probably instant. You know, I'm in touch with a working man.
20:53 - 20:57
I don't like coffee beans and I let the wife do it. I pretend I'm into it.
20:57 - 21:03
Yeah, I can smell the aroma. It's amazing. And da-da-da-da-da-da. But at the end of the day, I was reared on instant coffee.
21:03 - 21:08
Yeah. Yeah, I want to get my day moving. I haven't got time. It's like I've got a blender.
21:08 - 21:13
I've got one of those Nutribullets she bought me, yeah? You could borrow that. It's still in the box.
21:13 - 21:17
It's never been opened. It's still in the box. I haven't got time to blend.
21:17 - 21:21
Because you're a man of the people. You can't use a blender. No, I've got no patience.
21:21 - 21:26
Max, I've never read a manual in my life. You know that. Okay. You're just a freestyle microwave man.
21:26 - 21:30
I don't know how to use my smartphone. We've established that before the show started.
21:30 - 21:39
Trevor's just a regular Nescafe man of the people who's got a pond that he has to pour fancy food into for some koi carp.
21:39 - 21:44
It's just regular stuff. Okay, so the porridge and the coffee. What's happening now, Trev?
21:44 - 21:53
I check my most hated newspaper publication. I check him first with the paper I leased with actually...
21:54 - 21:59
Bye. Got it. Because I know the majority of the nation check that and I need to know what they've seen.
21:59 - 22:03
It's the mail, Trevor. It's the mail, isn't it? No, I didn't say that. It is the mail.
22:03 - 22:09
You check the mail. I check the newspapers, a couple of newspapers straight away. I'm looking forward to when they hear this.
22:09 - 22:14
Trevor Nelson hates mail online exclusive. Actually, I check the papers to make sure I'm not in them.
22:14 - 22:23
Trevor Nelson, night of horror as he kills two wild boar on his way home from DJing.
22:23 - 22:29
I got it. I do check them, peruse them. Always check the sports. Always. I can't.
22:29 - 22:33
I'm addicted. Do you know my problem at the moment? And I probably sometimes do it in the morning.
22:33 - 22:38
At the moment, it's transfer season, as you know. Yeah. So some of these, I mean, what do you call them?
22:38 - 22:43
These boys. Yeah, there's millions of them now. Yeah, there's two million. There's absolutely zillions of them.
22:43 - 22:47
And they all come. Oh, my God. Spurs haven't bought this or they put a bid in.
22:47 - 23:00
But I love it. So I check in with one or two of them. With respect, Max, to the great newspaper that you, you write for, there is a sort of rumours column in that about who's going to move to somewhere.
23:00 - 23:06
And it's always wrong. Do you contribute to that? Do you put the vibes out?
23:06 - 23:17
Do you talk to Gianni Infantino, the famous agent guy? I always do wonder about those people who say, my sources tell me, my understanding is this.
23:17 - 23:24
I've just got a message from someone inside the club. And frankly, I'm pleased other people are doing that because I'm far, far too lazy.
23:24 - 23:28
I mean, eventually they'll happen and then I'll find out they've happened or haven't happened.
23:28 - 23:37
I don't need to be the person constantly haranguing the press officer at Southampton to find out if they're going to sell Stuart Armstrong to hearts.
23:37 - 23:41
You know, it's fine. If they do, they do. If they don't, they don't. Let it happen.
23:41 - 23:49
But there is an industry, right? There's a huge industry within this. And there are people who prefer transfers to the actual football, which is just completely ridiculous.
23:49 - 23:54
Well, back in the day, it landed on the back page of a newspaper. Russia's bought such and such.
23:54 - 23:59
You had no idea negotiations were going on. We had no idea. Brian Clough would just unveil somebody.
23:59 - 24:05
Hey, it's our new striker. Get over there, lad. And that'll be it. Yeah, got it.
24:05 - 24:09
The dog's going to come back from the dog walkers at about a quarter to 12.
24:09 - 24:18
I tend to leave home to go to work at quarter past 12, which gives me about an hour to do anything else.
24:18 - 24:24
Catch up on emails for 10 minutes. I hate emails. Like, don't email me. If you want something done quickly.
24:24 - 24:28
I don't understand why people think I sent him an email 10 minutes ago. He should have got it.
24:28 - 24:32
I don't allow emails on my smartphone. I only look at emails on a laptop.
24:32 - 24:37
So that way I try and check them once a day, but not immediate, not like text messages.
24:37 - 24:44
Yeah, very sensible. So I give myself an hour and I've got a simulator, a golf simulator in my garage.
24:44 - 24:49
Oh, wow. Here we go. We're playing sawgrass. This is exciting. There you go, mate.
24:49 - 24:54
But the problem is the ceiling of my garage is eight foot. Okay. Just under eight foot.
24:54 - 25:00
So when I swing a driver and I'd swing it properly and I'd release it, I might just hit the ceiling.
25:00 - 25:08
Shit. Which has completely screwed up my driving. Yeah, and I've always thought this because obviously, you know, Scotty Sheffler doesn't have to deal with that.
25:08 - 25:12
And I always thought if you've got elite sports people to have to play sport the way we did.
25:12 - 25:22
So like, let's take the snooker. If the final one of the walls was right up against the thing, so they had to really like, you know, like when you played snooker and you had a four by two.
25:22 - 25:28
And you were like, like this or like the Wimbledon final, right? They just have four balls and they have to get them.
25:28 - 25:30
Oh yeah. And they have to be climbing up center court and getting the balls.
25:30 - 25:36
I think this is, you know, what you're showing is you're going to have to adapt your golf game in a way that Rory McIlroy doesn't have to worry about.
25:36 - 25:45
I'm not a doctor, but I think the reason that Trevor's hip might be in pain is because he plays on his knees with a little tight set of golf clubs.
25:45 - 25:51
Shall I get back to my day? Yeah, we're in the golf simulator. Well, no, we're not.
25:51 - 25:59
Oh, okay. It's been too hot. The temperature over here has been too hot. I can only go in there if outside is well under 20 degrees.
25:59 - 26:06
This is what I've worked at, Max, because keeping healthy is not easy. Keeping fit, going gym and stuff.
26:06 - 26:11
So what I do, instead of going gym, I scattered bits of gym equipment all over my house.
26:11 - 26:16
No, I could take you on a tour now. I'm telling you now, this is my theory.
26:16 - 26:24
I have three different rooms with gym equipment in it. Okay. To constantly make me feel guilty about I should be doing so.
26:24 - 26:31
So in the golf simulator, in the garage, I've got a couple of dumbbells and a couple of, you know, those bands.
26:31 - 26:48
Okay, yeah. On the door and stuff. So what I do, so I don't treat myself, I will play a hole at TPC Sawgrass and after the hole, I have to do a set of squats or bands or whatever.
26:48 - 26:54
Right. If I'm really pushed for time, I'll play a shot and do a set.
26:54 - 27:05
Wow. So I'll do nine holes, unweighted squats and then I might put bag on, you know, just tone up a little, few press ups or something and it makes me feel better about myself when I go to work.
27:05 - 27:09
Trevor, you're in incredible nick. I mean, let me just get that out of the way.
27:09 - 27:18
It's very nice of you. I don't know how you'd notice from this. Because I'm looking at Max and I'm doing a comparison of these two former neighbours.
27:18 - 27:26
I'm older than him. Yeah, but you don't get up at half five with a three-year-old sitting on your neck every morning.
27:26 - 27:31
You know what I mean? There's more of a sort of things bursting into flames with Max.
27:31 - 27:36
Right. Okay. So we do our golf slash workout and now we're heading into town.
27:36 - 27:43
Are we heading into BBC Radio 2? Yes. Yes. Who would have thought I'd ever be on BBC Radio 2 daytime next?
27:43 - 27:49
I have no idea how this has transpired. What is it? One till four afternoons?
27:49 - 27:55
You do one till four? Two till four. Two till four, you lazy fuck. That is the best gig in the world.
27:55 - 27:59
Who's sheer slot in the history of radio? You've got to play 30 songs in two hours.
27:59 - 28:02
I've earned it, man. Come on. Of course, I don't disagree with that. You've earned it.
28:02 - 28:11
I did nights for ages. Yeah. No, I've put it in. But my point is, you know, the beauty of it is I've got a freedom pass now, you know that.
28:11 - 28:17
Okay, so you're free to get in. Mate, I've got a freedom pass and I am chuffed to bits that I've got a freedom pass.
28:17 - 28:23
I've never used it, right, because I'm two and a half miles away from the closest underground station.
28:23 - 28:35
Right, okay. Right, so my decision is simple. So the wife drives to the station, takes her 10 minutes to get there, parks up, says about 15 minutes before she gets on the train.
28:35 - 28:42
And then her journey's 45 minutes and she's in the strand. It takes me 45 minutes to drive to work.
28:42 - 28:50
So I drive. Okay. And I drive non-rush hour time. Can you imagine? I'm driving at 12 o'clock in London.
28:50 - 28:55
It's the only time you can drive in daytime London, right? My route is pretty nice.
28:55 - 29:05
I park in a car park. It's worth paying. Hang on, hang on. Interruption. What is Trevor Nelson listening to on the way to present Afternoons?
29:05 - 29:10
You're going to be shocked. You're listening to TalkSport, Max. I listen to TalkSport. Of course he does.
29:10 - 29:17
I know he does. I don't listen to LBC. This is controversial. Sometimes I listen to Radio 2, obviously, but I try to stay away from music.
29:17 - 29:25
We don't get that in Ireland, Trevor, but it seems like whenever I listen to it, they're always furious about something.
29:25 - 29:30
The vibe is the game's gone. What's the point in anything? We've gone beyond the beyonds.
29:30 - 29:39
It is an escape for me. It is an extension of that check-in in the morning on certain tabloids about transfer stuff.
29:39 - 29:43
I can listen to people talking about sport. I even listen to Max's show sometimes.
29:43 - 29:54
Yeah. Honestly, there's something so profound in that, as in, I have a friend who has a sport morning radio show in America.
29:54 - 30:00
And sometimes I'll just put it on and they're talking about sports I know nothing about.
30:00 - 30:06
But it's the same thing. It's like, this person is not as good as they used to be.
30:06 - 30:10
Why are we bringing in this person? Someone rings in, it's time for the coach to go.
30:10 - 30:14
And it's just like, I am so familiar with all of this show. It's comforting.
30:14 - 30:23
It's comforting. It's the crap we used to talk about at school. Can you imagine if there was a recording of your conversation in the school canteen?
30:23 - 30:27
Yeah. Can you imagine? This is just a grown-up version of it in a different way, right?
30:27 - 30:30
I don't disagree. The thing is, Trevor, the boss of TalkSport is a big fan of this podcast.
30:30 - 30:40
So now you've said you'd like a gig there. As long as it's not Saturday or Sunday mornings and you'll take the pay cut, then I suspect he would snap your hand off.
30:40 - 30:58
So we arrive at Broadcasting House. Well, we don't. Ah. We don't. We arrive at the worst-built NCP car park in the history of man that is built beneath a tower block that is supported by huge pillars,
30:58 - 31:03
which they thought was a really great idea to put in the way of your parking.
31:03 - 31:13
So you pay all this money to get a season ticket. And the only reason I did this was because I drive an electric car, so I don't pay congestion at the moment until they rip that out of our guts.
31:13 - 31:21
And you've got to give yourself 10 minutes for the parking because the amount of times you start reversing in and...
31:21 - 31:26
You bail out. Oh, really? And then someone sweats you and pressures you behind you and you're like, oh my God, I've got to do this in one.
31:26 - 31:30
Oh my God, I've got to do this in one. Oh my God, she's staring at me.
31:30 - 31:35
So I always park where the electric charging is. That's a hack. Now this is controversial.
31:35 - 31:45
It's controversial. Because you're not charging your car? Well, it's controversial. The first time I did it, the attendant said, no son, you can't park your car there unless you're charging.
31:45 - 31:49
And I said, do you know which I pay for my season ticket? There's no other parking here.
31:49 - 31:56
I'm not charging. And we had this big debate. It bonded us. Yeah. No, it bonded us because I argued my car's electric.
31:56 - 32:02
There's space. I'm a season ticket holder. There's no other space anyway. I can't squeeze into there.
32:02 - 32:09
This went on for days. It's like Larry David. Yes. Yes. My hero. Question. Why wouldn't you just charge it?
32:09 - 32:17
Like what's wrong? I have the app and I charge maybe once a week. People do know Trevor though because it's the only electric Hummer in London at the moment.
32:17 - 32:24
It does need six spaces because that's what he hasn't said. Okay. So we walk into Radio 2.
32:24 - 32:32
Do we have a plan for the show or is this can you literally just walk in there and just the magic just leaks out through your fingers?
32:32 - 32:37
I thought you were going finite. I thought you were going in depth here. Yeah, we want depth.
32:37 - 32:42
I'm not Radio 2 yet. I've got my dry cleaning with me. I've got my dry cleaning with me.
32:42 - 32:48
Okay, great stuff. So I've discovered on route because I've got a secret walk. I've got a walk to avoid the sun.
32:48 - 32:56
I've got a walk to avoid people. I've got three different walks. It's a five minute walk but three different ways.
32:56 - 32:59
You know, if I want to walk and be seen, why would I want to be seen?
32:59 - 33:06
Not really. Walk straight up Great Portland Street, take a right, you know, if you want to stay left, you can stay in the shadows.
33:06 - 33:12
I bumped into the Director General. He did the same walk as me, going to get a poke bowl.
33:12 - 33:23
He knows the shadow walk, right? So I've discovered a dry cleaners which is so ideal because it's on route to work as opposed to the two and a half miles down the road one I've got.
33:23 - 33:30
So I took my dry cleaning in and then I took a gamble. Oh, it was 45 minutes from the start of the show.
33:30 - 33:34
As you know, they like to be there an hour before to be super professional.
33:34 - 33:40
Yeah. But I took a gamble. There's a Thai grab and go place where people you just walk up, you grab and go.
33:40 - 33:46
It's definitely the best in the area but I like to phone in advance to beat that queues and they wouldn't answer the phone.
33:46 - 33:57
Oh, shit. I walked past my building to get to this place and when I got there there were 10 people queuing outside so I busted flush and had to walk back to Pret,
33:57 - 34:03
buy some sandwiches which therefore made me I had 40 minutes to my show starting. I have some questions.
34:03 - 34:06
Okay. Before we have the walk of shame from the Thai grab and go back to the point.
34:06 - 34:12
Yeah, it was a walk of shame. If you were to walk down Great Portland Street because you're in the shadows, you're Trevor Nelson.
34:12 - 34:18
If you were to walk down Great Portland Street would your walk be significantly slower from people stopping to say, hey Trevor.
34:18 - 34:24
No, yeah, I'm not on EastEnders mate. The beauty of radio is that that's the beauty, you know the beauty of radio.
34:24 - 34:31
Oh, I do. And you've done a bit of telly and radio so you know you do get that sometimes.
34:31 - 34:40
No, you're not going anywhere. Oh, this is good. Yeah. And then you have to tell them who you are, right?
34:40 - 34:50
With me, it's depending on certain people, you know, people from the diaspora, should I say, will tend to grab me on the arm and not let me go.
34:50 - 34:58
Grab. Just grab like that. Trevor! Trevor! You know, that sort of thing. Other people are more polite.
34:58 - 35:11
So I've got the right level of fame. I love it. It's not intrusive. But I would imagine, Trevor, you have a lot of thank you and a really specific story about a song and me and my wife,
35:11 - 35:18
that was our first dance and we heard it from, and you, because you're a nice man, have to, you can't be like, come on, come on.
35:18 - 35:23
Thank you. You're right. 40 minutes to go to the show. Someone stops you in the street.
35:23 - 35:31
What are you going to do? Because you know how this works, don't you? The one time they meet you, they could be the Twitter warrior for all you know.
35:31 - 35:38
You just don't know, do you? So, I mean, he's a horrible man. Back in the day, before social media, you could be as horrible as you want.
35:38 - 35:43
But now, but now, they could be secretly phoning you and filming you, I mean, you know.
35:43 - 35:48
I had two really good ones. One on a tube. It was quite late and I wasn't as drunk.
35:49 - 35:52
Because everyone else on the tube and a guy said, you look just like Max Rushden.
35:52 - 35:56
And I was like, yeah, I am him. And they went, no, you look a lot like him, but you're not him.
35:56 - 36:01
I was like, okay. And they were like, well, prove it to you. And I was like, I don't, like, it's foreign.
36:01 - 36:08
He basically got to the stage where I just showed him my driving license. And I was like, I don't think De Niro has that.
36:08 - 36:13
And there was one in the showers after a football match. Well, so, you know, I walked in after the showers, you know, there's a shower.
36:13 - 36:20
There's like 10 teams have played and I just was like, yeah, I get it all the time.
36:20 - 36:24
I think he's a twat. The guy went, yeah, I agree. I agree he's a twat.
36:24 - 36:31
I went, yeah. And then just. That's the one. That's the better one. I used to say, because like I say, I don't know why people all thought I was about six foot tall.
36:31 - 36:35
I say, yeah, nah, everyone says that. Everyone says I look like, you sound like him though.
36:35 - 36:42
I say, everyone says that. I'll just go, everybody says that. He's about six foot one and he's much more handsome than me.
36:42 - 36:46
A friend of mine said, he came up, well, he's a friend and a colleague.
36:46 - 36:53
He came up and he, we had to go to Smithfield, Smithfield market. And he said, let's not get a cab.
36:53 - 36:57
It's really busy. Let's just get the tube. When I should take the tube, I went quite a while ago.
36:57 - 37:04
Why don't you take the tube? I said, but you know, someone auditioned once and started rapping to me when I was sitting on the tube in rush hour.
37:04 - 37:09
Never took the tube again. Never took the tube again. So therefore, when my friend said, come on, let's just take the tube.
37:09 - 37:14
I said, okay, I'm with people. It'd be fine. I get on the tube. He said, no one, no one bothered you.
37:15 - 37:19
Well, it's not rush hour. As soon as we got out of the tube, he said, look at that.
37:19 - 37:24
We've got here. This American woman. I say she's American because she was American. I don't know how she knows me.
37:24 - 37:29
She must be working in London. She just walks up to me and she goes, oh my God, you're so short.
37:29 - 37:35
And then just walked off. She might not have known it was you. She might just do that with short people.
37:35 - 37:45
Look, there's many differences between your lives, but one big one I would say is that no one's ever gone up to max on the tube and be like, all right,
37:45 - 37:56
listen to this. So Chelsea are in the market for the new Moldovan defender. But similarly, Trevor, I bet no one's ever got up to max.
37:56 - 38:03
I gone, you know, the first time me and my wife made love, we had Talkspot on in the background.
38:03 - 38:09
If you and Perry glad that they were complaining about meat pies in Macclesfield. VAR.
38:09 - 38:18
Should it go? I was going to say, what are you getting from Pret? Well, it was a panic.
38:18 - 38:24
It was a panic. Yeah. I rushed back. I felt stupid. So I walked past Pret and then I walked all the way up and then walked back.
38:24 - 38:29
And there's a guy who works in Pret, right? Bless him. He knows me now.
38:29 - 38:39
I think he might've slipped me an extra bun once. I didn't ask him to, I didn't ask him to, I didn't ask him to, but now every time I go in,
38:39 - 38:44
so I went in, I've got, I've got two minutes to grab something. I've got chicken.
38:44 - 38:52
One of those, Caesar, chicken Caesar sandwiches. I got a Danish cinnamon bun. I've got, Oh yeah, mate.
38:52 - 38:57
I love them. I've got a green juicer because I spent the whole weekend eating pizza at some festivals.
38:57 - 39:02
I just try to balance it up. So they are race to work. Right. I'm pacing now.
39:02 - 39:08
I'm walking pretty fast. Cause really you're late. I'm breaking the rules of engagement. And I should be an hour before.
39:08 - 39:15
As a non-radio guy, I didn't realize there was this sort of school headmaster vibe to doing radio where they're like, Mr.
39:15 - 39:19
Nelson. Really? We should be there an hour before and an hour after. An hour after?
39:19 - 39:26
Contractually. But obviously if you're pretty good, you know, you just rock up, don't you?
39:26 - 39:31
So we get in, we're a bit late. Presumably you've got a producer you like, who's just like, here's the show.
39:31 - 39:36
I love her. I love her to bits. Love her to bits, Rosie. Have you been talking to her through the morning about what's on the show?
39:36 - 39:38
Or is this the first time? No, I tend to call her when I'm in the car.
39:38 - 39:44
Okay. Because what we do, not every show does this, we insist on eating lunch together before the show.
39:45 - 39:52
Nice. So when I'm having a bit of lunch, we can catch up on all the gossip that I've read from the Daily Rag and stuff like that.
39:52 - 39:57
We don't talk about the show until five minutes to go. No, the show's planned in advance.
39:57 - 40:00
Obviously, I've got a couple of features that I have. Five Seconds, the name is one of them.
40:00 - 40:09
A little quiz, a little old school run thing, and a Trevor Trove, a tune that I pluck out of the back of my ass and play.
40:09 - 40:14
Right. So yeah, so Rosie, I slip in. There's two main entrances to the BBC, right?
40:14 - 40:20
There's a big one that you, you see on telly with all the swing doors, all the politicians walk through when they're getting chastised.
40:20 - 40:25
they walk through the main entrance. There's a little one to the left where there's less traffic.
40:25 - 40:33
There's only three lifts. You don't meet the world and its dog, and you don't have to say hello to every security guard who's been there working nights.
40:33 - 40:37
So you have to have conversations with them all. No disrespect, but yeah, I'm late.
40:37 - 40:45
Trevor, if you could never meet another person again. Oh, joy. Bliss. Absolute bliss. Bliss.
40:45 - 40:51
I am absolutely happy in my own company. I think this, cause I do stand up comedy, Trevor.
40:51 - 41:00
And I think it's the same thing where, because you've DJ to thousands of people the night before, you've probably got socializing out of the way.
41:00 - 41:09
So therefore hit golf balls in your garage, getting the lift on your own. Even if Lauren Laverne's in that lift, you are icing her out.
41:09 - 41:14
Absolutely. Yeah. Hi, Lauren. And Lauren's the smiliest person you'll ever meet. So there's no way.
41:15 - 41:24
You can ice Lauren Laverne out, but yeah, you're absolutely right. And I think about this a hell of a lot that why is it after I do the bigger, the thing I do,
41:24 - 41:32
the more people I've performed to, like I do roll out of the hall every year, immediately after I get home and everyone's drinking and having a great time.
41:32 - 41:37
I want to watch a documentary, like a war documentary or the Cuban missile crisis.
41:37 - 41:48
Honestly, I've watched docs on every war ever existed. Crimean war, civil war, I've watched North Korea and I watch them on loop.
41:48 - 41:58
I watch them again and again. I love them. I love history. So, and it's also because you put a little, I put a little air fun and I'll go to bed and I'll watch it on a little iPad and I fall asleep to it.
41:58 - 42:03
And I, and you would not believe I've just been in front of 6,000 people at Royal Albert.
42:03 - 42:08
Honestly, my wife thinks I'm weird. Yeah. I mean, I think most people will, but I get it.
42:08 - 42:13
It keeps me sane. So I sneak up the side. We call it the one extra entrance, right?
42:13 - 42:15
We sneak up the side. Right. You never know the, the person at the reception.
42:15 - 42:21
You barely ever know the security guy sitting there. There's no banter. You straight up that way.
42:21 - 42:28
I need to see my producer. We go to a specific area on the eighth floor, which we call the microphone area.
42:28 - 42:32
There's microphones hanging and it's around the corner. We meet and then we sit down.
42:32 - 42:36
We chew the fat for a little while. Do you have a fun handover with who does the show before?
42:36 - 42:44
No, no handovers. Jeremy Vine. No handovers. Wow. What a vibe shift. Yeah. So we come in, you sit down to do the show.
42:44 - 42:48
I don't sit. I don't stand up. Okay. Right. It's only two hours. Yeah. True.
42:48 - 42:52
Keep the energy going. And do you select the music or is that basically all done for you?
42:52 - 43:03
No, no, no. This is my biggest. Everybody knows that daytime is playlist. Yeah. Even though my old show was, I chose all the music on my night shows, which was quite a strain.
43:03 - 43:08
Actually. There's a lot of music every week to find. So that was my big compromise.
43:08 - 43:16
And I thought, you know what? It's going to be fun because I grew up listening to a lot of these tunes on radio, regardless, just because I don't play them.
43:16 - 43:23
And because I don't listen to any music show on any station, I don't listen to any music anywhere.
43:23 - 43:31
I mean that, right? I've got thousands of records here. I don't touch them. The way I enjoy music now is to starve myself.
43:31 - 43:37
So when I get on the show, I have such a fun time because I'm hearing music for the first time that day.
43:37 - 43:41
And that's my theory. And also, if you don't listen to someone else's show, you can't possibly sound like them.
43:41 - 43:48
Because otherwise you'd sound identical to Jeremy Vine. All of you would just become this one monolith for five hours.
43:48 - 43:55
Trevor, what happens if they play a tune that's total shit? You've got it playing in your cans.
43:55 - 44:01
And after it, you have to be like, well, there's another banger from Keane. No, I won't lie.
44:01 - 44:07
I won't lie. If you know me, there's ways of doing it. Listen, you can't possibly like everything you play.
44:07 - 44:16
You know, the audience love it. So that's what makes it easier to play. We can be music aficionados, but having all that's not quite as good as that.
44:16 - 44:23
There's a reason it's so damn popular. You know, it's just that I've avoided playing the most popular music my whole career.
44:23 - 44:28
And now that I'm at this age that I just think I enjoy broadcasting. I genuinely do.
44:28 - 44:36
And let's be honest, it's the biggest station in Europe. Yeah. We always say talk sports, the world's biggest sports radio station, but we've no one's checked.
44:36 - 44:42
It's probably one in China. That's absolutely massive. Absolutely. No idea. You guys crack me up, man.
44:42 - 44:47
Honestly, the world's biggest radio station. No, we've got a call from Australia. Hello, mate.
44:47 - 44:54
I'm from East London originally, but I'm in Australia. I'll just put this in here as well.
44:54 - 45:08
My very limited DJ career, which involved me and my friends used to play records in a bar, a condemned bar around the corner owes a real debt of gratitude to Trevor Nelson.
45:08 - 45:14
Obviously as it, I was a very bad DJ in that I had friends who were great DJs.
45:14 - 45:27
I could, I couldn't clear any dance floor. That was kind of my job. Playing too much Steely Dan was basically the problem, but a track that you had introduced to me,
45:27 - 45:34
I used to open with it and people used to go so crazy that I couldn't, I'd start too big.
45:34 - 45:47
And it was a song that I'd heard you play on the radio. I can't remember in what context, but I think it's Lord Kitchener and it's a song about, the West Indies beating England in cricket.
45:47 - 45:55
If you play a song in Dublin, the chorus of which is England must understand that we are the champions.
45:55 - 46:02
Everyone thinks, Oh my God, this is the best song ever. And I got that from Trevor Nelson.
46:02 - 46:09
Wow. Thank you very much. Brilliant. Brilliant. Okay. So the show's done a two to four.
46:09 - 46:12
That's great. Four o'clock. Are you straight back to the NCP? Pick up the dry cleaning?
46:12 - 46:18
No, four o'clock. No, no, no. Four o'clock. Rosie normally says, if you've got to rush off and I go, no, okay.
46:18 - 46:23
I'm legally bound to be here. That's always a nice thing to say to someone.
46:23 - 46:29
I'm actually legally bound to hang out with you. No, honestly, we have fun. We'll spend about half an hour afterwards.
46:29 - 46:35
Sometimes just add in some records. Cause I'm trying to add to the radio to playlist with my catalog.
46:35 - 46:40
So at the moment we're up to D in the alphabet. We've been doing this for about two months.
46:40 - 46:44
Donnie Hathaway. There you go. So there you are. There you are. Delta. Good. Delta.
46:44 - 46:53
Good room. Here we go. There's the difference between the two of us. Also just Trevor, while you're on D that is David O'Doherty.
46:53 - 46:59
And I have got some raps that I would like to now. You only get one shot, David.
46:59 - 47:05
You only get one shot. What's your MC name? What's your MC name? David O'Doherty.
47:05 - 47:08
Just straight up. I've got. That's not going to work. That's not going to work.
47:08 - 47:13
You need an MC name. I'm 49 Trevor. I think I've missed the boat on this.
47:13 - 47:20
I'm 49. So 4.30, are we going to get the dry cleaning? No. What kind of dry cleaners is that?
47:20 - 47:25
What? Two hour dry cleaners. I head home. I couldn't wait to get home. This is a bit rush hourly.
47:25 - 47:29
This is a bit. It takes twice as long to get home as it does to get to work.
47:29 - 47:35
Because I'm now in rush hour. It took an hour and a bit actually. And it's the Finchley Road is just horrendous.
47:35 - 47:43
It's just the worst. Honestly, I beg someone to find, well, they will, a worse high street, maybe tooting.
47:43 - 47:52
I've been, I mean, that's like a BBC London phone and I've done. There's this infuriating part of Finchley Road, right?
47:52 - 47:59
It's 20 miles an hour. Yeah. After COVID, all of a sudden, a road that was 30 miles an hour is the whole road is 20 miles an hour.
47:59 - 48:06
Absolutely. I wish I could swear on this podcast, but it's infuriating. It's fucking infuriating.
48:06 - 48:16
Fucking infuriating. I got six points. Bam. Just like that. The first time, the very first time I discovered it, I can run, I'm faster than 20 miles an hour.
48:16 - 48:23
I don't think you can Trevor. I can. Cyclists don't pass me. Why don't they get flashed?
48:23 - 48:28
They don't get flashed. It's amazing that you don't listen to LBC because you do sound a lot like a caller to LBC.
48:28 - 48:35
I deliberately don't listen to LBC because it will be like listening to myself. So I crawl home.
48:35 - 48:40
I got on the phone. Actually, I do like a phone call on the way home rather than phone call on the way there.
48:40 - 48:49
And they eat into that tedium of just go in so slowly. And the wife called while the chat was going on.
48:49 - 48:55
I'm driving, obviously. And I'm like, do I hold in a set or do I wait for this person to wind down?
48:55 - 49:00
And I'm waiting for the person to wind down. The person didn't wind down until I got all the way home.
49:00 - 49:05
Oh dear. Okay. What are we about six, six 30? It's about six o'clock. I fed the fish again.
49:05 - 49:10
Yeah. Okay. There's a bit of, it's a little bit of favoritism in the house.
49:10 - 49:16
We've got a cat. We've got a rescue dog. Right. And I say rescue dog, because he's not normal.
49:16 - 49:22
So dog, cat, fish is three unstable elements there together. Yeah. So dog and cat ever.
49:22 - 49:28
Are they friends? No, this is the part in my house. The cat lives in the kitchen.
49:28 - 49:32
The dog and the cat have never been within a foot of each other ever.
49:32 - 49:37
Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. This is a problem for me. A big, big problem. This is stress, Trevor.
49:37 - 49:41
It's just so stressful because it's fine because I've got it down to a fine art.
49:41 - 49:49
But if you are a guest and you come into our house, the rules, I'm real or a builder or workman, you know, the electrician comes in.
49:49 - 49:55
I said, please keep that door closed. Yeah. Dog jumps up. Anytime it sees a cat, it wants to chase the cat.
49:55 - 50:02
The cat got hit by a car. We believe when it was younger and my wife spent six months rehabilitating the cat.
50:02 - 50:09
The cat shouldn't have made it, but it made it. So the cat is very special and was a gift from me to my wife to see Lila.
50:09 - 50:17
I would love. Right. And so this cat is on a, pedestal. Like you don't understand the pedestal.
50:17 - 50:22
You don't know what a pedestal is. She is on the Mount Vesuvius of pedestals, right?
50:22 - 50:28
It's not the best pedestal. I'll be honest. I'd pick a more dormant pedestal. I love the cat.
50:28 - 50:34
Don't get me wrong. But I have said to my wife, when the cat goes up to cat heaven, we're not getting another one.
50:34 - 50:39
We're not getting another one. We can't, I can't do this anymore. We can't, I can't.
50:39 - 50:47
All you got to do is nudge the cat into the pond one day and the car piranha, just there's a frothing of water.
50:47 - 50:53
No one ever hears anything about the cat ever again. It's the perfect crime. David, I did say I love the cat.
50:53 - 51:01
I do love the cat. I'm sorry. Murder it with fish. Yeah. So I go back out, feed the fish again.
51:01 - 51:10
I put the food, I reheat my food because obviously it's a bit cold and I always run and feed the fish while the food's being reheated.
51:10 - 51:14
I don't like wasting time. I like, I think I'm one of those people that can't, I can't watch adverts.
51:14 - 51:21
I can't watch adverts on telly. I've got to do something while they're on. What I like though, Trevor is every meal you possibly could.
51:21 - 51:28
Yeah. You've microwaved. I know. I knew you were going to say that. A hundred percent microwaved dinners.
51:28 - 51:33
I know. You've always loved them. You always love them. Reheated. Why do you always bang on about the microwave?
51:33 - 51:42
It's just something you've always loved. Okay. So we fed the fish. You've had the dinner.
51:42 - 51:46
You fed the fish. What do we do? Are we settling down? To watch a war documentary now?
51:46 - 51:50
Or what's happening this evening? All right. Wait. No. This is when the wife and I bond.
51:50 - 51:55
Okay. Oh, nice. I feel that's really important. We both lived alone before we got together.
51:55 - 52:02
So we're both equally comfortable in our own company. But she watches absolutely dog doo doo TV.
52:02 - 52:15
Okay. We bond on the one show. Oh, yeah. She's a BBC freak. I think the only time she goes elsewhere is Comedy Central to watch Friends over and over again.
52:15 - 52:27
She's a Friends freak. But she watches EastEnders. She records EastEnders. Records it. Right? She is that dying breed of EastEnders fanatic.
52:27 - 52:34
See, Jamie watches TV shows like Below Deck and like, I don't know, Mormon Housewives of Kentucky or something.
52:34 - 52:38
If I come into the room, she'll pause them because I will just start talking.
52:38 - 52:43
She just says, I don't want you. You're spoiling this. And she hates sport. She hates sport.
52:43 - 52:50
And she says, it's just the same. There was one time we were watching The Ashes were on and I was in a cafe and so I had it on my phone and she was like, this is really rude.
52:50 - 52:54
If we were in a cafe and I just put the Kardashians on, you would be like, this is ridiculous.
52:54 - 53:00
It's a watertight argument. I can't argue with it. She's absolutely right. I have exactly the same thing.
53:00 - 53:04
My wife went for all the Kardashians. She watches all that trash TV. She says, it's escapism.
53:04 - 53:12
I last about 45 minutes and I go next door. And the secret to every successful marriage, two TVs, my friend.
53:12 - 53:18
Right. So what did you watch yesterday? For once, I went for the bait of a killer in the village sort of thing.
53:18 - 53:25
I don't normally do them. Okay. I go for all of them. I'm looking for Hitler or one of those horrible tyrants.
53:25 - 53:30
Who's ever doing that? Who's lying back going, I'm just looking for Hitler. Shit, there's no Hitler.
53:30 - 53:35
I'll have to settle for the murder in the village. It's true. Nazi megastructures, whatever it is, right?
53:35 - 53:40
I actually settled on one that I don't normally do. So I did the killer in the village one.
53:40 - 53:46
Yeah. Yeah. I did watch a nature one last night. Oh, yeah. I was. I wonder why I watched it so long.
53:46 - 53:51
So I gave it much longer than I should have because it was about surviving in Namibia.
53:51 - 53:56
All right. Right. And I've been to Namibia, which is a beautiful, beautiful country. I really like Namibia.
53:56 - 54:01
It was about dogs, wild dogs, which I can't say I love wild dogs. A little.
54:01 - 54:09
There's the massive pack. Horrible way to go. Horrible way to go if they get you because I'm like a lion.
54:09 - 54:15
A lion will take you down by the throat. Yeah. Do your windpipe. You suffocate.
54:15 - 54:22
You won't even know it's eating your legs or your rear. Right. Whereas the dogs, the dogs eat you alive.
54:22 - 54:30
I mean, this poor sort of antelope got taken down. I mean, they were like piranhas on this thing, man.
54:30 - 54:37
It was just horrible. Didn't a football manager a few years ago claim he was attacked by wild dogs?
54:37 - 54:50
Nigel Pearson said he beat off a bear in the wrong phrase. Like, no, no, he fought bears in Bulgaria or something, Nigel Pearson.
54:50 - 54:55
Oh, my God. But, yeah, so that was it. And then I crawled into bed.
54:55 - 55:06
And, unfortunately, the reason I don't do a lot of podcasts is probably because it shatters any image anyone thinks that I should be like because I go to bed, put a little earphone in,
55:06 - 55:16
and I just lie there on one side. And what was it last night? With music or a pun, it would be very funny if Trevor Nelson went to sleep listening to The Least, Trevor.
55:16 - 55:19
If you went to sleep listening to The Corr's Greatest Hits or something like that.
55:19 - 55:26
I'll tell you what I had a fixation on, Great British Castles. Oh, yeah. That's good, yeah.
55:26 - 55:31
Yeah, you see, that got me. I watched that about three times over. I'm, at the moment, it's quite heavy.
55:31 - 55:39
I'm on Mossad. What a way to go to sleep. A relaxing Mossad documentary. And then you went to sleep.
55:39 - 55:42
And then I went to sleep, and I woke up, and this is what I'm doing now.
55:42 - 55:47
Trevor, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for coming on. We've been threatening to do this for a long, long time.
55:47 - 55:51
Thank you so much, Trevor. I enjoyed it a lot, and thank you for playing Lord Kitchener.
55:51 - 56:08
Thanks for making me a cool DJ, even just for three minutes. So there we are, David.
56:08 - 56:13
I can't say I'm not disappointed. 100% of meals microwaved. I did say delighted about it.
56:13 - 56:26
Microwave chat. We were very cool at the start about just as he moves around, the fact that he has fish, presumably, like I'm imagining a real, ah, Mr. Bond type situation, you know,
56:26 - 56:33
where there are the enormous, like, lurking shadows in the pond, and then going to the garage to play a little bit of golf.
56:33 - 56:40
That's a lovely touch. We've never had that before. And I think maybe the most honest in how little he wants to talk to anyone.
56:40 - 56:50
Of all the guests that we've had, absolutely, desperate, desperate, finding secret alleyways to get to, the thought of getting the train.
56:50 - 56:55
Did you notice that he was saying, I can drive in at midday, and it's absolutely beautiful.
56:55 - 57:01
Then he says, when I drive home, the traffic's an absolute nightmare. He can get the train in half an hour.
57:01 - 57:09
Yeah, but it's because of his National Treasure status. I think he does mean so much to so many people.
57:09 - 57:17
And there's times where he's DJing, and he is National Treasure, Trevor Nelson, and then there's the real Trevor Nelson.
57:17 - 57:25
And I'm glad we got down to those. There's a rollout of all, and then there's, I'm always looking for Hitler, and then saying, do you know what?
57:25 - 57:31
You don't want to get done by wild dogs. That is not the way to go, isn't it?
57:31 - 57:37
Thank you, Trevor. I appreciate it. Thank you for coming on. And if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here's how.
57:37 - 57:44
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
57:44 - 57:52
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
57:52 - 57:59
And if you didn't, please don't. Thank you, David. Everything's showbiz. In it for life.
57:59 - 58:02
I've never thought about it before, but, you know, I think you might be right, Max.
58:02 - 58:15
Everything is showbiz. Ding!