EP6: Ivo Graham

0:00 - 0:11

Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.

0:11 - 0:16

I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it.

0:16 - 0:19

And they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

0:19 - 0:25

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?

0:25 - 0:34

Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.

0:34 - 0:38

We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?

0:38 - 0:43

What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.

0:43 - 0:49

Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

0:49 - 0:55

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.

0:55 - 1:04

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to episode six of What Did You Do Yesterday?

1:04 - 1:10

I'm Max Rushden. Hello, David O'Doherty. Ooh, six. Six is good. This is actually a thing now.

1:10 - 1:14

Yeah, it exists. Do you want some feedback? I love feedback. You don't like it as much?

1:14 - 1:21

I'll start with the good stuff. Gavin said, absolutely brilliant again. This was after the Susie Ruffell episode.

1:21 - 1:26

Another great guest. Susie, you haven't factored in my hour of reading. David, ooh. Max, ooh.

1:26 - 1:31

Me, ooh. The precise moment I realised that I, too, am in this for life.

1:31 - 1:42

Thank you, Gavin. Welcome. This is from Anna, who says, Hi, Max and David. I just wanted to give some positive feedback and say that I'm really loving your podcast so far.

1:42 - 1:49

Thanks, Anna. Thanks, Anna. I've really enjoyed all your guests, even though I can't really put my finger on exactly why I like your podcast so much.

1:49 - 1:55

It doesn't change the fact that I do smiley face. I also don't think it's fair to say Max is monotone.

1:55 - 1:59

I actually think he has quite a traditional DJ voice, akin to smashy and nicey.

1:59 - 2:06

I don't know if that's a compliment, if I'm honest. I don't think that is.

2:06 - 2:14

And who wouldn't love David's dulcet Irish tones? Is it too early to start the what did you do yesterday fan club?

2:14 - 2:20

And then she does a laughing, crying emoji as if it's not a thing that you should be taking very seriously.

2:20 - 2:26

Yes, it's absolutely time to start that fan club. Start it. That's Anna in Hertfordshire.

2:26 - 2:37

I mean, there was a tragic period, and I wonder if this would happen, with Anna's fan club, where I left the first comment on Apple for this podcast.

2:37 - 2:42

Like when we launched it, I think we launched it like early on a Sunday morning at eight o'clock.

2:42 - 2:51

And no one had listened to it. And no one had left any comments. So I think I left one that was like, love this podcast, particularly David O'Doherty.

2:51 - 2:55

Oh, that's good. Because I wrote, I love this, but I am one of the hosts.

2:55 - 3:05

But what I didn't know was, many years ago, when I set up my podcast reviewing name, to which I don't think I've ever reviewed a podcast, I said I was Peter Sissons,

3:05 - 3:16

the old BBC newsreader. So it says from Peter Sissons. If you are a newsreader, if Trevor McDonald is listening, do let us know.

3:16 - 3:23

A couple more then, why not? Roxanne says, hello, David and Max, long time listener, four episodes, first time caller.

3:23 - 3:31

I'm loving the new podcast. I am curious to build a feeling of community among your stans and ultras What do you propose the listeners of the pod call themselves?

3:31 - 3:40

Yesterday dreamers? Pastors? 24 hours ago party people? Forever in your yesterday, Roxanne. I live in Denver, Colorado.

3:40 - 3:46

We're seven hours behind you guys. Do you like any of those? What should we call the ultras?

3:46 - 3:55

Yeah. Yesterday's men. Is that the... No, that's us. That's why we're doing a podcast, Max.

3:55 - 4:02

No, but that's nice because it implies, you know, we're basically past it. You know, you're not the people we should be thinking of.

4:02 - 4:09

A lot of people, much like Great British Bud saying, I'm in no position to make a demand, but I demand the Nish Kumar episode.

4:09 - 4:17

We are still in talks with our lawyers about the Nish Kumar episode. We hope it comes out because we did do it, David, and we might as well get it out there at some point.

4:17 - 4:28

It's more complicated than you think. There's geopolitical elements, there's various governments. We're just hoping the time is right soon for the Nish Kumar episode.

4:28 - 4:34

Because it will change podcasting. Now a bit of balance, David, because this is from Leboeuf.

4:34 - 4:40

I don't believe it's Frank Leboeuf. He's reviewed us on iTunes and we need people to give us five stars.

4:40 - 4:43

Apparently it's good if you get that and you get reviewed. So keep reviewing it.

4:43 - 4:51

We appreciate it. Except these ones. This one says, celebs do nothing, in capital bold letters.

4:51 - 5:03

Is this meant to be aspirational? Question mark. The world, doesn't need another show where mildly famous people speak to other mildly famous people.

5:03 - 5:10

The premise here is so weird. It would be far more interesting if this was with normal people off the street and it may uncover some interesting stories.

5:10 - 5:18

Instead, we get to hear that another person who's richer than the listener does very little every day aside from Pilates or begrudgingly answering emails.

5:18 - 5:28

What does this ultimately do? Drive forward this social media style ethos that we should all strive to be like these people, earning lots, doing little, giving back nothing.

5:28 - 5:36

Wow. We need another war to thin out their ranks. That's what this person's saying here.

5:36 - 5:53

Giving back nothing. Please let us know if we are giving nothing to you. It is interesting that because Pilates, that does imply from that selection of things, this reviewer has listened to a few episodes as well.

5:53 - 6:00

And that's my favorite part of that. I give a podcast maybe two minutes and then I'm like, nah, not for me.

6:00 - 6:09

Whereas this person forensically takes notes for several hours and then slams this. I like the idea that anyone thinks this is aspirational.

6:09 - 6:20

That's what I like. Anyway, today's episode is long. Our apologies. You've probably already seen that and thought, can I be bothered to listen to all of this?

6:20 - 6:24

What is it, David? They've seen on the time. It's not a surprise. No one looks at the time thing.

6:24 - 6:35

I see. But it is long for a reason because it's so good and we couldn't cut much of it because, I mean, not that me and David sully ourselves with editing and that stuff.

6:35 - 6:43

That's for people with proper jobs. We're just here pilate-ing away, answering the odd email that we're forced to answer before drinking out of our golden hats.

6:43 - 6:50

I'm downward-dogging as we speak. Anyway, Ivo Graham is the guest and he is brilliant.

6:50 - 6:56

And he's the first guest who has listened to the podcast. I think that's not her.

6:56 - 7:02

So I don't know if it gets me that it's meta, but I think it's interesting that in many ways, because he listened, we changed history.

7:02 - 7:09

A small bit of history. You will know Ivo, of course, from Live at the Apollo, The Last Leg, Quickly Kevin, Taskmaster, of course.

7:09 - 7:18

His own podcast is called Gig Pigs. You can get tickets for his latest tour and his new book, Yardsticks for Failure, at ivograham.com.

7:18 - 7:26

Would you like to say anything else, David, before I start the episode? To me, it's just another one of these mildly famous people talking to...

7:26 - 7:34

What I want is a joiner talking to a woodturner for an hour where they just talk about non-aspirational things.

7:34 - 7:40

Where they're just like, oh, fuck, it's raining, isn't it? That's what I want from a podcast.

7:40 - 7:57

I would listen to that. Anyway, here is Ivo Graham. Ivo Graham, welcome to What Did You Do What Did You Do Yesterday?

7:57 - 8:02

Thanks for coming. Thank you very much for having me on this unique podcast experience.

8:02 - 8:08

Yeah, it is unique. I feel it's unique, David. Yeah, I mean, I personally, Max, I never look back.

8:08 - 8:16

That's my slogan, which is why I could never be on this podcast other than the one asking the incredibly probing questions.

8:16 - 8:25

And Ivo Graham, get ready to be probed specifically regarding what you did yesterday. So let's go back to the start of yesterday.

8:25 - 8:28

We don't want to know when you got up. When did you open those eyes?

8:28 - 8:46

And what was the first thing you saw? Well, probably a picture of the semi-cancelled elephant, Baba, because I've got a poster of Baba in my room, but I am thinking about taking him down because of a recent chat at a party about apparently its colonial undertones.

8:46 - 8:53

Oh, no. I don't think he's endorsing too much colonialism in my bedroom picture. He's just, well, he's skiing, if you must know.

8:53 - 9:02

Is the whole house, I mean, is there like Oh, my house is a shrine to colonialism, but I thought that Baba was the exception.

9:02 - 9:08

This is awful stuff. Sorry, is Baba, does he play a trumpet with his trunk?

9:08 - 9:12

What's his main thing? What does he do? I couldn't tell you what his main thing is.

9:12 - 9:18

I could only tell you from the three different Baba posters that exist in mine and my parents' house.

9:18 - 9:25

So in another one, he's playing tennis and another one, he's driving a car. He lives a varied and, you know, seemingly pretty carefree life.

9:25 - 9:33

Tennis, I mean, from the Irish experience, is quite a colonial sport. We'd call it one of the garrison games here.

9:33 - 9:41

Like if he was playing a traditional Irish sport, say hurling or Gaelic football, then I'd be like, I think he gets away with it.

9:41 - 9:45

But tennis, I don't love that. Also, where is he driving in that car, you know?

9:45 - 9:55

Probably to sell out some of the locals. Right. Well, as I say, many apologies to Ireland and to all others who felt Baba's sort of indirect colonial wrath.

9:55 - 10:01

This is really going to affect the listeners we have in the Commonwealth. Right. I'm nervous about it.

10:01 - 10:08

So what time is this? It's quite a casual 8.45 for me. Oh, that's amazing. No, I know that's nice.

10:08 - 10:13

And it is often earlier, sometimes because of my daughter and sometimes just because of an attempt at good habits.

10:13 - 10:25

But I was still, and I don't wish to veer into non-yesterday territory, but I think I'm still playing catch up from a colossal Friday night in Manchester with Max, your friend and co-host,

10:25 - 10:38

Mr. Docter. Sorry, I just sensed that a previous day was being mentioned there. So I sounded the O'Doherty klaxon, not because anything untoward happened on my part.

10:38 - 10:44

No, I went home quite early. We were doing, Ivo and I both partake in stand-up comedy.

10:44 - 10:53

We did a show. We went to a sort of old school pub afterwards. The name of the pub isn't great in sort of keeping with the bubba thing.

10:53 - 11:01

Oh no. We went to the Britain's Protection Pub Is that your decision, Ivo? Yeah, it's bubba's favourite.

11:01 - 11:11

You said, I'm meeting Enoch Powell there for a half of bitter. I will say this about my colonial overlords, you and your friends, Ivo.

11:11 - 11:23

So we're in the small back room and a rosy-cheeked 58-year-old loose cannon man walked in and announced to the room, shut up!

11:23 - 11:28

Like as loud as possible. So initially I thought he was going to sing happy birthday or something.

11:28 - 11:36

But then he just had the wry smile on his face of a man who likes walking into rooms and shouting, shut up.

11:36 - 11:39

So he then sat beside an uncomfortable man on the other side of the room.

11:39 - 11:53

He then shouted, shut up again. None of these people said anything, but I decided to engage with him and said, we're being as quiet as we can for goodness sake or something like that.

11:53 - 11:59

And I think that was all it took. He just wanted some sort of reaction rather than you just staring directly at the floor.

11:59 - 12:04

Yeah, no, no, David, you were by far the most confident of anyone in our group.

12:04 - 12:15

Despite this, it was still the meekest I'd ever seen you. I was like, David at his meekest is still the alpha in our post-laughter-rama Britain's Protection soiree.

12:15 - 12:23

Was it Dom Jolly? Sounds slightly like an episode of Trigger Happy TV. Sorry, so it's 8.45.

12:23 - 12:30

You're right. Open your eyes. You're staring. You're staring at Bubba skiing down a blue run and the day is ahead of you.

12:30 - 12:34

I think that is the gradient, actually, Max. It's certainly very casual, whatever it is.

12:34 - 12:38

Not a mogul in sight. The day is ahead of me and it's quite a relaxed day.

12:38 - 12:48

I'm still, again, not to keep harping on about the recent past, but I'm still allowing myself a little bit more foot off the gas post-Edinburgh fringe.

12:48 - 12:52

I'd had a very fun Friday night in Manchester and in quite a busy weekend.

12:52 - 13:00

So I thought, actually, this Monday morning can be quite relaxed. And I went straight into the living room.

13:00 - 13:11

So no phone, Ivo. Let's just stop it there. No phone, no nothing. You just stare at Babar and that motivates you to go off and try and colonise the day effectively.

13:11 - 13:21

No, there was an alarm. The alarm says, colonise the day. Like seize the day every second counts.

13:21 - 13:26

Your version of that. I'm waiting for Jake Humphrey's video that says that. I'm really, I'm looking forward to it.

13:26 - 13:33

But I don't think I was sort of colonising with the same drive as some of my ancestors.

13:33 - 13:43

It was quite a relaxed approach. For me, the biggest achievement of a self-employed quiet day is not spending too much time on my phone.

13:43 - 13:52

And my phone is frequently in a locked box, which I cherish very dearly. And so if I can get out of bed and not just immediately go on my phone,

13:52 - 14:04

that's great. And like a lot of people who are just defying the use of larger screens as being still more healthy than the small screen, what I do immediately is I go and watch television.

14:04 - 14:13

And that's, I wake up, not with a scroll, but with an episode of Max, your new compatriot, Colin from Accounts.

14:13 - 14:19

Ah, that's a great way to start the day. But can I just check, your phone is locked away in a box?

14:19 - 14:23

Is it like pirate treasure? Have you buried it on an island? Maybe there's a map?

14:23 - 14:27

No. I did used to leave, before I got the locked box, I used to leave it in my car.

14:27 - 14:34

I found that very satisfying. So I would get home from a gig in my car and I would leave it, you know, in the glove compartment or whatever.

14:34 - 14:49

And then it was that feeling of walking into the flat and it being so much easier to wind down the day and go to bed because I wasn't just moving idly from sort of chair to sofa and then into the bathroom still with my phone in my hand

14:49 - 14:56

sort of just stringing out bedtime, making myself sad. Wow. Keep my eyes awake. But Ivo, this is, this is very beautiful.

14:56 - 15:09

But what about, is that not peak podcast listening time? Would you not pop on maybe my colleague blathering on about Everton's tough season with that in your pocket while you brush your teeth?

15:09 - 15:19

You know, that sort of a thing. I'm going to have to admit here that despite being a big fan and a long time sometime collaborator of Max, for a football fan,

15:19 - 15:34

my GFW stats are V poor. I would say football podcasts have been one of the main things I've tried to wean myself off in the last few years because though of course there are some clear market leaders and I'm looking at one of them,

15:34 - 15:43

there are so many and while There's so much football. And there's so much football and this feeling of just sort of that one will never get to the end of it.

15:43 - 15:58

It's just so exhausting. This is very important what we're getting to here. I wish to just state look, I didn't think that this podcast that me and Max are doing and you're our guest on I've got a lot was going to be the new Joe Rogan.

15:58 - 16:08

I mean, on some level though I thought that we'd be uncovering human truths. You know, people would be like wow, it's like a Samuel Beckett play this podcast.

16:08 - 16:18

We've been lucky in the last couple of weeks it's received some write-ups. They've been very positive but let me just say they're like it's like listening to nothing.

16:18 - 16:31

It's like nice hot air. It's just the worst possible stuff. Well actually, I do have one that's it feels a little like empty school gate chit-chat and won't be around forever.

16:31 - 16:37

So that's, you know, that's where we're at. Where are these coming from? I'm feeling quite a lot of second-hand stress.

16:37 - 16:42

Just there's a general experience of being reviewed for but we're in the chit-chat era.

16:42 - 16:52

We're in the eternal school gate of modern broadcasting. My point here is that there's times when I want pure information.

16:52 - 17:02

Okay, so for example, I will listen to In Our Times the classic BBC Radio 4 podcast because I'll be like, I need information.

17:02 - 17:12

I want to find out about the Great Pyramid of Giza and you'll find one hour, three people and Melvin Bragg shouting at them about pyramids.

17:12 - 17:24

But there's other times I want something else. And football, although I can get very passionate about football, there's also something about who do you think's going to win next week?

17:24 - 17:30

I mean, it doesn't matter. We're all guessing. This is fine. I'll use this to get to sleep.

17:30 - 17:37

You, however, you just contend with your own brain and those wheels within wheels grinding off each other.

17:37 - 17:46

You can get to sleep with that sound, Ivo. That's phenomenal. I'm very fortunate to be able to go to sleep easy without the grind of Glendenning.

17:46 - 17:51

Of course, I'm almost always still on my phone, but sometimes I'll listen to my Roberts radio.

17:51 - 17:59

And that's nice because that's like, that's one thing. I mean, of course, it's got a fantastic range of channels, but I'll pick my four, my five or my six.

17:59 - 18:06

And that's what I'm getting. And it's not like the podcast, but via the portal to everything else and all of the emotions, many of which are sad.

18:06 - 18:15

It's just like, it's the one thing. Sometimes what I'll do is, so after deciding that I couldn't just use my car all the time, I bought a lockbox.

18:15 - 18:27

You can put the phone in for a certain amount of time. My favorite thing is to, I would say my most frequent before bed is to put on one of your drivel pods This one, for example?

18:27 - 18:33

Such as this one. Oh my God, what a genre. Or indeed many of the drivel pods that I'm involved in.

18:33 - 18:39

I'm one of the peak drivelers of my generation. I just haven't managed to monetize it as well as some of my Welsh friends.

18:39 - 18:45

So what I'll do is I will put it in the lockbox. I'll set the lockbox for maybe an hour, hour and a half.

18:45 - 18:51

I won't set it for all night because, you know, if there's a nocturnal emergency and my phone is locked in a box, that would be annoying.

18:51 - 18:56

Whereas if it's like, I'll probably be asleep at an hour, but if I'm not, then my phone will be in case I really need it.

18:56 - 19:04

And then I'll put the phone playing Ellis and John on a sort of 10 minute timer and lock the box and then I'll go to sleep.

19:04 - 19:08

So hang on. If you set it for an hour and a half, you can't unlock the box.

19:08 - 19:14

No, you can't. You can break the box and buy a new phone jail. It's quite flimsy, but symbolically, no, there's no override.

19:14 - 19:33

It's an interesting point about the smartphone and, you know, you can get everything. Do you think, David, we should devise some sort of, what did you do yesterday podcast box and exclusively you can only listen to it if you own one of those and it can only play

19:33 - 19:40

this podcast. It's quite big and heavy. It's got to be slightly unwieldy and that's the only way that you can consume this podcast.

19:40 - 19:46

Some people are looking for a sort of Spotify exclusivity buyout, but no, you're looking for just, you have to have the big box.

19:46 - 19:53

An anvil, basically, that plays this podcast. Okay, so we've watched how many episodes? We've watched Colin for one episode.

19:53 - 19:59

So again, I get so depressed when I wake up and I'm just straight on my phone, straight into the vortex of pain.

19:59 - 20:07

Whereas if I watch even a half hour episode of TV. The vortex of pain, that's a phenomenally harsh way of looking at what I call the day.

20:07 - 20:16

No, no, the phone. The phone is the vortex of pain. Okay, yeah. Whereas watching a nice half hour episode and my attention span is so pathetic that if I start the day by doing something,

20:16 - 20:26

even something really easy, like watching a half an hour episode of a acclaimed sort of light Australian comedy drama, I feel like what an achievement to have started the day.

20:26 - 20:32

I've already like banked. Like what's one thing I definitely did yesterday? I watched one episode of Colin from Accounts and that's already done.

20:32 - 20:44

You've done some culture. Yeah. It's what you've done. I've done some culture and also the episode lasts 30 minutes and the experience of watching it lasts 30 minutes because I'm not pausing it or rewinding it or doing something else at the same time.

20:44 - 20:53

So I feel fantastic and it's great and the reason I'm watching that is because my parents have really got into it recently and it's clearly bringing them a lot of pleasure in a life which also contains a fair amount of stress.

20:53 - 20:56

So I really want to be able to talk to them about Colin from accounts.

20:56 - 21:05

So basically by 9.15 I have freed my mind and brought my family together and that's a pretty great way to start the day.

21:05 - 21:23

I'm envisaging sofa, pyjama bottoms, t-shirt, bowl of Cheerios. Well actually it's a great breakfast yesterday because my daughter whom I co-parent she is at mine some nights of the week including the night that we are I wouldn't say fast approaching it's 9.15am but I'll be picking up

21:23 - 21:39

my daughter from school in 9.15am six hours Ooh a second character Yes the second and only I would say sort of character directly experienced this day spoiler alert but because she is going to be having breakfast for me the following morning and it's the first breakfast

21:39 - 21:55

of the new term as it were and we've recently had a co-parental chat about fun cereal my job is to eat all of the fun cereals in the Kellogg's variety pack so they're not there Amazing So interestingly I remember me and my sister only got got them

21:55 - 22:09

when we were went to Granny Moira and Grandpa Brian's that was basically if I had first choice my sister would get choices two and three and then it would work on like four, five, six, seven so if you went straight in with Coco Pops she was getting

22:09 - 22:24

Ricicles and Frosties Yeah I love that Impossible decision Yeah Well it's been simplified a little bit but I would say the quite pathetic lack of range in the Kellogg's variety pack of 2024 which is broadly four pairs so you've mentioned Max a couple of cereals that I've never seen

22:24 - 22:36

in a variety pack it's basically two Coco Pops or sort of occasionally sort of Choco but they're the same basically two Corn Flakes and then Rice Krispie multi-grain shapes and the real tragedy with the multi-grain shapes is that I would have thought that they were a boring cereal

22:36 - 22:48

but my daughter has revealed too much of how much she enjoys them and looks forward to them so they've been designated a treat whereas if she just played her cards closer to her chest she could have had those every day whereas it's clear that those are too fun

22:48 - 23:06

so I have all of those and all of the Coco Pops watching Colin from accounts This is interesting because it reminds me of when so when my nephew in his early years my sister attempted the great scam of convincing him that apples were sweets so when he'd say

23:06 - 23:20

I'd love some sweets everyone's talking about sweets she'll be like I'll make you sweets and would do apple boats as we call them which are just classic apple segments and he would be delighted because he's getting in on these sweets and then

23:20 - 23:35

she remembers the day when he was about five and he came back from having hung out with someone from the afternoon apple boats are not sweet someone had given him a curly whirly or something and I feel it's the same with your daughter who at the moment

23:35 - 23:53

values country store and fruit and fibre as the most fun possible breakfast cereals no I'm afraid not she's got an aggressively sweet tooth and I'd say dentally we're already in real trouble but may I say two absolutely delightful glimpses there and I think the lie

23:53 - 24:07

was a white lie which probably was no bad thing for your sister and big fan of Max of your grandparents approach as well these are all great approaches meanwhile it's the modern way that people want penalty shootouts to be taken A B B A A B B

24:07 - 24:22

because there's an unfair advantage if you go first that's what Granny Moira had if we can just pause the podcast I mean I know this is supposed to be candy floss for the mind or whatever one of those stupid reviews said but to pause and just remember

24:22 - 24:44

the passing a fallen hero Captain Rick who was the man on the front of rice-icles he was intergalactic I think from the picture I think he might have had a sort of butterfly net and he might have netted the delicious sugary rice-icles themselves which were basically just supercharged

24:44 - 25:02

rice krispies and he put them generally just in the variety pack it'd be rarer you would see we don't see Captain Rick we will never hear his like again go easy Captain Rick did he die on re-entry into the atmosphere is that such a magic no he was

25:02 - 25:25

beaten to death by Snap, Crackle and Pop it was really horrible they always envied his head in a car door Crackle was like fucking have that you guys I was going to sing the parting glass just a really somber beautiful moment for Captain Rick you've ruined it okay

25:25 - 25:37

I'm going to so is there coffee during this period any sort of stimulants whatsoever I mean the phone we're calling a stimulant hence you have to put it in a stupid box no we're calling a vortex of pain is what we're calling it yeah I love coffee

25:37 - 25:51

I don't fear it but I start with an Earl Grey tea so then I save that first hit because at the moment I'm just flying on having my first good night's sleep in four and the smug satisfaction of bonding with my parents through watching Colin from Accounts

25:51 - 26:05

and that's the other thing I wake up during the TV I'm not doing any task badly yet it's a good system a half hour so I have a cup of tea and then I get a message from producer Michael Marden reminding me that the following

26:05 - 26:20

day I am doing what did you do yesterday and I decide and the whole day is not in service of this but it does remind me that I need to be a bit more on my toes Ivo what's the thing in physics called where in the act

26:20 - 26:35

of observing a thing you therefore ruin it and that's why I am in favour of contacting people after midnight maybe waking them up which in your case wouldn't work because your phone's in a biscuit tin I'm afraid so

26:35 - 26:49

you would think may in fact amplify the sound in many ways and that way you can live a pure yesterday without this you really feel under pressure for the rest of the day I don't feel under pressure and the vast majority of my day is locked in

26:49 - 27:03

already parentally it's only the next few hours that are sort of up for grabs and I would say the vast majority of the day is lived as I would live it and I am a faithful journalist and chronicler of the human experience but I would say

27:03 - 27:18

I make a couple of decisions which are in service of the podcast and I consider the very science that you have just warned me of David and I consider that these decisions are worthwhile so my first decision is to go to the gym and listen to Ellis James

27:18 - 27:32

S1E1 of What Did You Do Yesterday oh right goodness and what's great about that is it gives me a real sense of purpose as I go to the gym and also David I was planning to run 10km on the treadmill and instead I do 5km

27:32 - 27:48

on the treadmill and then switch to a cycling 5k which I've not done I'm not really a cyclist I cycled from Clun to Nantwich in June of this year because my friends did Land's End to John O'Groats and I joined for a day and that day

27:48 - 28:04

was Clun to Nantwich right I thought that was a setting on the exercise bike at the gym too yeah but I've never used the bikes in the gym but Ellis was talking about it obviously I mean we're in danger of the snake eating its own tail

28:04 - 28:21

now with this podcast but you think you were influenced by Ellis and I spoke briefly about cycling I didn't think it was a joyous chat I mean what I love about cycling is how the act of your legs turning around sort of it keeps enough

28:21 - 28:34

of the brain engaged that that frees another part in the same way that you have wonderful ideas a lot of the time while you're brushing your teeth or maybe ironing or using the hoover that's what I love about cycling and I don't think I got that across instead

28:34 - 28:48

what came across was just this nerd chat about pounds per square inch pressure putting into tyres well it's not just a sort of recent listening to the podcast thing David I've genuinely long admired admittedly in quite a low level where it's never prompted any action until now

28:48 - 29:05

but you know your cycling proficiency and history and expertise and you I really really envied I would say my big regret of the year so far is not having joined my dear friends for what was an incredibly special and emotional Land's End to John O'Groats

29:05 - 29:16

which they did in the recommended 15 days in June of this year and I had a wonderful day as an opportunist joining them for a single day enjoying the rolling hills of Shropshire but

29:16 - 29:30

it was clear whereas I had just basically bought all of my gear from Decathlon an hour before my train to Cravenard we know these cyclists so well I know whereas they and I'd been on the WhatsApp group because even the sort of one day opportunists were on

29:30 - 29:37

the WhatsApp group there was a lot of chat about sort of equipment and you know you were talking to Ellis about what are the shoes called?

29:37 - 29:50

SPDs and I thought oh yes I remember I didn't have those and everyone else did and I thought I am an amateur and similarly I was listening to the podcast and I think you referred to watts and I thought I've never heard of I don't know what

29:50 - 30:08

watts means in the context of cycling and then I look down at the bike and watts was one of my settings I took some photos of my data on the bike I cycled 5km in 15 minutes and the RPM was usually about 80 so that's what I was doing

30:08 - 30:23

but I was also feeling great about myself because I was preparing for the podcast I was revising for the podcast I was enjoying the dulcet tones of Ellis James and also I was exercising before midday which is fantastic it's a triathlon of sorts Colin from accounts a treadmill

30:23 - 30:40

and a go on a bike yeah well done and I'm also I am working off one of the sugariest breakfasts that I've had in the summertime okay so do you shower at the gym or do you just wander home what happens there I wander home I'm not far

30:40 - 30:54

I pick up a package on my way home and I'm in some state as I pick up the package but I'm glad that I do because it's a birthday present from my best friend Matt and he has sent me some mochi balls and a Mavericks moon ball

30:54 - 31:09

and it's just a great birthday present what I don't know what any of that means yeah sorry are these Pokemon no mochi balls are yes it's a Japanese rice cake made of mochi gum you've definitely seen them yeah you can get a thing called little moons

31:09 - 31:25

which are those sort of ice cream in those and those are a real treat like profiteroles sort of I think it's probably best not to waste any time with me trying badly to describe if you know you know and it's clear that I don't really know

31:25 - 31:37

but I do have a lovely long running joke with my friend Matt about these mochi balls and about the Mavericks moon ball which is my favourite kind of bouncy ball I think they had it in Manchester David but maybe we didn't have time for a bounce

31:37 - 31:50

amidst all the other fun at the Britain's protection maybe that's what was annoying the man that you were just like Steve McQueen in the Great Escape bouncing this ball around the small back room of the pub I don't think that would have been the most annoying thing

31:50 - 32:03

that was happening in the back room of the pub I actually find my Mavericks moon balls incredibly cuddly calming presence but I wouldn't have wanted to explain that to that man at that moment what makes this so magical this ball is it shaped like a dodecahedron

32:03 - 32:20

such that the bounce is unpredictable no no it's incredibly predictable and smooth bounce that's what I love about it and sorry have you tested a lot of bouncy like I feel like I haven't really engaged a lot in bouncy balls since about 1985 yeah my finger's not

32:20 - 32:35

on the pulse I'd be astonished Max if you spoke to anyone not just on this podcast but in life barring any friends if you have any friends who are the proprietors of sports shop maybe any amateurs who have purchased more bouncy balls than I have in

32:35 - 32:50

the last 18 months like my friend Matt was like I've sent you a new bouncy ball for your birthday and I was like that's obviously great news thank you very much but I have also recently ordered five more for myself independently and 18 months ago you were in

32:50 - 33:02

the same boat as what I would suggest most of our audience which is I have no bouncy balls I'm not five well actually we're two years ago now I'm on the Morgan Porth beach in Cornwall and we go to a surf shop and

33:02 - 33:15

there's just a bouncy ball which really takes my fancy so I buy it and I've since been buying the same kind of bouncy ball over and over again from whatever online retailer I can find it at the most competitive price I incorporated it into my Edinburgh show

33:15 - 33:32

last year there was a point in the show where audience members attempted to bounce balls into buckets from a great distance and I would say that was the bit that for many critics moved the show from a three star to a two star show I like that idea

33:32 - 33:47

I mean I'm oh it was fun but it wasn't comedy by many measurements my last bouncy ball I vote was my mother for Christmas my last I never ever thought we would get to a stage where you would start and it's with my last bouncy ball

33:47 - 34:03

and then I get the information but I'm all ears my mother gave me what was actually the most I'd say 500 rubber bands all wrapped around each other that functioned as a bouncy ball but had the advantage then

34:03 - 34:21

that you could occasionally remove one and use it as an actual rubber band it was lovely and then about a year ago maybe I've had it for five years and then the rubber bands just started twanging every time you tried to rubber band something which I would say

34:21 - 34:36

I only need five rubber bands a year maybe max oh I recently bulk bought some rubber bands and it's been it's been a real game changer I just love how many please oh wow a little glass jar of rubber bands and I just love having it

34:36 - 34:55

because you know I'm now in the world of casual banding it's just it's just too many blocks of cheese in my fridge have hardened and crusted at the sides because I've just thought oh it's not quite you know you just sort of fold the flap over

34:55 - 35:06

and hope for the best no it's getting banded now I banded up a load of leads in my bedroom the other day I just that really solved the lead situation I love bulk buying things now

35:06 - 35:19

and I don't think that's a sort of hugely opulent boast the main things I'm bulk buying are rubber bands and bouncy balls by the way David that bouncy ball you described I think it features well I'm certain it features in Colin from accounts S1E1 because a man

35:19 - 35:31

is told off for playing with one at the vets which is those for the animals wow I'm trying when out and about catch me on the street I'm most likely if I don't have a phone in my hand I've got a Mavericks moon ball in my hand

35:31 - 35:45

because I find it very comforting to hold and if I've got room around me just to bounce idly because I don't like having my phone in my hand when I'm out and about because it just reminds me of how addicted I am and also I am well overdue

35:45 - 35:57

having my phone stolen from my hand by a man on a bike like it is I've had it has that happened to you well it happened to my wife three times and I was like Jamie come on we were in Old Street which is like

35:57 - 36:07

the absolute hot spot and I was just like come on like obviously I never said this out loud but I was like seriously just focus come on focus and then

36:07 - 36:24

I was just walking down the street that I lived on and in a flash there were two guys on a motorbike and the guy on the back had the thing they'd gone literally I almost had to appreciate how slick they were it was like incredible I was like

36:24 - 36:39

I felt like well I was I was the victim of a heist and that's what it was it was extraordinary imagine their disappointment if when they check it a few moments later added the Mavericks moon ball I think their disappointment would be short lived

36:39 - 36:50

I think once they gave it a couple of bounces they'd see that actually this was an anomaly that might prove the saving of their day and maybe of their moral life could change their criminal past so okay

36:50 - 37:07

so now you've got the bouncy ball so I've collected my post I've gone home and I've showered and it's now it's now about 11.30 I think and now I would say the next three hours are a complete soup of sort of enthused procrastination where I charge

37:07 - 37:23

at lots and lots of some of them quite romantic but fundamentally small and unnecessary tasks because what I'm really doing is putting off writing a book and I've got all of this adrenaline from the gym and sort of pride from the whole sort of getting up early

37:23 - 37:37

not going to bed on my phone calling from accounts thing and I have had a coffee now and so what I really could do now and should do and might do after this podcast is lock my phone in its box and then go to my favourite writing room

37:37 - 37:54

which is a subterranean bunker underneath a local Cafe Nero which is just a room that is so lacking in atmosphere and distraction that it is where I've written the vast majority of my already once delayed memoir My fear is that in this three hours of procrastination

37:54 - 38:04

by the end of the three hours you're going to tell us that everything in your house has a rubber band around it No that's what you've seen how close to hand the bands are so you're absolutely right

38:04 - 38:24

that that does come into play a lot and like that's exactly the sort of thing I'm really getting like I did I sorted out my USB and USB-C leads and rubber bands separately I was like for too long have I been just diving into this big mess

38:24 - 38:40

I'd pay a man millions to do that I really would this is black belt procrastination that's not black belt rubber banding your USB-C leads I would say that is what red belt let me tell you about some of my black belt procrastination so

38:40 - 38:54

it's my dear friend I've already used the term best friend once I think can you allow me five sure you know what if you'll allow me even three the aforementioned Matt poor Matt and the now mentioned Alex Keeley are both on there Alex Keeley is my best friend

38:54 - 39:07

co-driveler over at gig pigs podcast and it's his birthday on Saturday so I am going to get him well I'm confident now that it's going to happen and unless this podcast comes out in the next four days then the surprise won't be ruined I've got a superb

39:07 - 39:24

birthday present slash late wedding gift for him and his wife my friend Mari based on our favourite meme which is Vince McMahon the wrestling commentator and he's you know he's Vince McMahon getting increasingly excited and

39:24 - 39:38

then his eyes sort of explode what gift is based on this possibly Ivo so it's the popular meme format although there are different numbers of McMahons but I would say the sort of most standard one is four there are four pictures of Vince McMahon

39:38 - 39:53

and in the real clip which I'd enjoyed the meme for months maybe even years before even investigating what the clip's from it's him being sort of intrigued and then increasingly aroused by quite a sort of sexy glamour wrestler at some sort of you know event and so

39:53 - 40:08

his first look is of sort of mild intrigue as she appears before him and then his second is of like real intrigue and in his third he is becoming overwhelmed by the experience and then the fourth the image has been tampered so that his eyes are like

40:08 - 40:26

red and like searing into so Alex and Mari got married in a beautiful ceremony in Kintyre in June so I've got for the Vince and I'll send you the pictures so it's usually it's like words so it would be like this morning I did a podcast

40:26 - 40:41

with David O'Doherty and Max Rushden oh hang on hang on Max yeah yeah I had to make a decision there David and I thought you'd be most magnanimous about it I don't mind listen I'm improvising a meme live it's hard ideally you and Max

40:41 - 40:56

would be in the same one and then like the fourth one would be like and it was only about what I did yesterday so or whatever that is the worst meme yeah yeah that meme is going nowhere the meme template is going to outlive us all I know

40:56 - 41:10

but what we do with the template is yes very much on us so that's a bad one but a good one is it's four pictures and pick one is a screenshot of the first DMs that Alex and his wife Mari ever exchanged on Twitter

41:10 - 41:23

that's already in my possession from the stag do who slid in I can't remember that's their story to tell really but I think it was the interest was clearly very mutual and it's lovely that their sort of first DMs firstly that they have sort of given them

41:23 - 41:37

to the public realm of their friends for sort of stag do pamphlets sort of best man speeches etc but also they are cringeworthy but they're not nearly as cringeworthy as I'm sure I'm sure there are some very romantic happy couples but their early DMs would be like

41:37 - 41:53

you couldn't publish them but anyway these aren't getting published they're getting published in a Vince McMahon meme my first DMs with Max are why aren't you talking about Spurs on the podcast you stupid dickhead just some classic football thing like that that's a message I never receive anywhere

41:53 - 42:09

yeah that's perfect oh Max I did some short VTs about football for BT Sport for a brief period in 2021 and even just from doing those I really did experience what your life must be like that's another reason why I'm trying to keep my sort of drivel

42:09 - 42:21

pretty sort of football agnostic as it were yeah so far there aren't really like haters of this part the people like I don't think it's very interesting but there's not a lot of people going there's an agenda against my yesterday there's not that that doesn't exist

42:21 - 42:40

I get quite a lot of messages from people um who have different favorite moon balls and they can't believe I'm always going on about Mavericks it's just the best I just get hate from McCartney who thinks he owns yesterday and it's just unhappy that we are talking

42:40 - 42:54

about a day when all his troubles seem so far away I think my troubles did seem pretty far away as I lined up the four images for the McMahon meme and those are again early DMs the first party they attended together in a superb costume as Wanda and

42:54 - 43:08

Vision I think that's October 2021 then their engagement photo from May 2023 and then their wedding photo from June 2024 so this isn't procrastination this is great listen I am confident that this act of procrastination will be on their wall forever and

43:08 - 43:21

that's why I do kind of think like yes it's not as good as writing my book but it's much better than just scrolling it's very satisfying and I buy a eight photo frame online not easy to find actually so

43:21 - 43:40

that's that done then I move to two other for another couple we're getting married next year could I just interject with something I mean I'm excited to read your memoir it's not exactly going to be Churchill's war diaries on the base don't want Churchill's war diaries anymore David

43:40 - 43:51

they want mundane experience expressed you know in the most high falutin of terms they want meme improv that's what it is so once for another birthday present yeah my friends Elsa and

43:51 - 44:11

Luke are getting married next summer and I am a master of ceremonies so I'd love to get them a good gift for Elsa's upcoming birthday so I spend some time looking into bespoke wax seals I waste a good 20 in many ways the Babar thing really did set the

44:11 - 44:30

tone for the rest of this this you just can't stay away from this old 17th not even 17th century well I line up some a pretty nice bespoke sort of E&L wax seal and then I'm informed by Luke when I'm texting him about it just to check

44:30 - 44:45

how many wedding invitations they're planning on sending out that Elsa's already got a bespoke wax seal so that technically I was about to say you must have when you clicked add to basket or you rang them up literally this dusty office must have gone the first bespoke

44:45 - 45:01

wax seal and actually they're flying out the doors these things no no it's looking pretty busy over at Etsy actually it's Etsy listen my wax seal sort of origin story is an actual physical shop called Scriptum in Oxford of course and I got some lovely wax seals

45:01 - 45:14

from there in 2012 but no this is just your standard Etsy well I wouldn't say tat it's still lovely stuff but anyway Elsa's already getting one made so that in some ways that time is wasted in other ways I get to text Elsa and say that I

45:14 - 45:24

was thinking of doing that and she thinks it's very charming and we have a chat about whether I sort of the choices I made were the choices she would have made so in some ways I get the kudos of the gift but the 45 pounds is saved

45:24 - 45:38

wow I do understand living in Oxford you know if you're trying to send a letter to London via horseback you just want to be sure that no one has steamed it open hence the importance the horse won't take it without a seal a well

45:38 - 45:52

trained so in 2012 why did you want a wax seal then because I was a undergrad twat at Oxford and I was getting very sad about having to go into the real world so I was trying to make my life as bride's head as possible for one final term

45:52 - 46:12

wow yeah I declared my feelings for someone on vellum parchment in 2012 wow and you wax sealed a love letter to somebody yeah yeah and in many ways I wish that seal had remained unsteamed so that was the DM that would be the meme yeah did they look at

46:12 - 46:26

it and go what it's 2012 she's married to someone else now that's fine that's fine no invitation none needed so I'm having a lovely time at home oh I have a lunch which is mainly then you're not going to be proud of this but there is a bit of

46:26 - 46:40

context my lunch is a shredded iceberg salad covered in lemon sesame oil and soy sauce and I send a picture of that lunch to the actor and writer Jamie Dimitriou yeah do you know him well sort of quite well but

46:40 - 46:55

mainly we've worked together and hung out occasionally over the years and I'm a big fan and he's always treated me with with a worst polite disdain but on the off-menu podcast in about 2018 he said that his favorite simple lunch was just an iceberg lettuce with

46:55 - 47:06

lemon soy etc and it's had a more profound effect on me I would say than anything anyone has ever said on a podcast so I would say about three or four times a year I have that lunch and

47:06 - 47:22

I send Jamie a picture and I would say about one in two times he replies Ivo is that not one of those lunches where it's possibly more calories to eat it I mean we're back to watts here the wattage you're using in eating that is possibly what

47:22 - 47:40

so do we have nothing in do we don't have some walnuts no protein David walnuts are coming later I'm delighted you've asked about that we're about four hours from we're about four hours from walnuts this is very much the Game of Thrones winter is coming but no it's

47:40 - 47:54

quite a light lunch because I'd had a quite a large crisis pizza with my siblings the night before and I'd had obviously my fantastically sugary breakfast so I actually didn't mind having a healthy lunch and that kept the sort of smugness on track from the

47:54 - 48:13

morning like just a lettuce it's just a lettuce yeah oh and carrots and hummus okay so that's good oh another plan this is when you were talking about black belt procrastination this is right up there so I then sent Josh Widdicombe in a way that a

48:13 - 48:26

wax seal on Etsy is not no no that is too no I was saying the rubber bands weren't I'm sure a lot of people are rubber banding their leads to kick a book into the long grass but I would say not a lot of them are

48:26 - 48:40

texting you know obviously it is the clang of a name drop but texting anyone in my case Josh Widdicombe about a plan that I want to do in December for an alternative to Spotify wrapped which is that I would Spotify wrapped is where you it shows

48:40 - 48:54

all of the most listened to songs of the year yes and it's very well aggregated and amusingly sort of published by Spotify and some people like to share this data and it's very interesting but I for some reason sometimes thought that it would be nice to

48:54 - 49:07

do an alternative maybe in support of physical objects and records independent record stores where you buy or maybe you've already bought your five favorite albums from the year on CD or vinyl a medium of your choice and you just publish a photo of yourself with

49:07 - 49:23

the actual albums so I'm obviously soft launching this on this podcast which is itself obviously available on Spotify it's not an anti Spotify maneuver but it's just an it's a wholesome DIY alternative they're probably Curtis I don't think I've bought five albums in the last

49:23 - 49:38

25 years yeah and I think it's going to be have some solid traction by late November but do I need to be doing it in early September no Max can be there with his copy of top loader good have the Anfield rap yeah loader some ched

49:38 - 49:55

seven a lot of Max's cultural preferences I vote as you may know are of a slightly different era let's just say the other day I'm hosting this TV show in Australia it's basically the one show I'd say in Australia and they emailed me to say someone called

49:55 - 50:11

kid Leroy I believe that's his name was coming on the show so I spent all morning listening to kid Leroy's music to try and think of one question I could possibly ask kid Leroy without looking like just a grey haired middle-aged man I couldn't think

50:11 - 50:22

of any and then like an hour before I got there went now he's not coming on but it was the first time I listened to new music I'm gonna say in two decades so many ways worth it oh well Max I sympathize with that

50:22 - 50:38

I don't know the work of kid Leroy but I hosted in Edinburgh weekly club night which David was kind enough to come and sprinkle some stardust on but it's basically chasing a fading relevance into the night and it's typically attended by people closer to 20 than 30 or 140 so

50:38 - 50:50

though people are very up for nostalgic bangers and also it's my night I can play what I want I did this some sort of make sure to sort of be across at the very least your Charlie XCX your Chapel Roan because that was really what

50:50 - 51:03

people wanted all of the time they didn't want Gala and Alex Party well no they do want Gala in fact I was very proud that we played Freed from Desire at the closing night at a huge night club in Edinburgh and

51:03 - 51:20

I'm very proud of my in-game powerpointing while hosting the night and I got up pictures of both Will Grigg and Beth Mead on the screen during Freed from Desire which is very satisfying so hang on where are we in the day because you know we're four

51:20 - 51:32

hours from Walnuts and we've got a lot to do okay we've got a lot I'm texting Dimitri I'm listening to my favorite new song of the day over and over again and it's not a new song it's called work by Kelly Rowland the Freemasons edit and

51:32 - 51:44

I listened to that song about five times in a row yesterday I thought it's that's from the classic era of Nellie and Kelly I think it's early noughties classic era wow it's only just come to my attention because it was being played at a fun fair

51:44 - 51:55

that I went to on Saturday and it's got shazammed and now it's in a solid rotation and I can't wait to play it at the next club night never mind that I feel like I'm finished my lunch I once met Kelly Rowland David but did it

51:55 - 52:13

happen yesterday so I finished my lunch podcast for your own I am exempt from the rules it's only you that has to adhere to these very strict principles I did never mind the buzzcocks with Kelly Rowland it was cold in the studio and her nipples stood up like

52:13 - 52:27

bullets and someone came on and put tape over them David it's very funny that you've said this because your nipples were kind of quite a bullet like compared to your quality to them in Manchester on Friday we could see them through your jumper it had never happened before

52:27 - 52:37

Max is this a thing that happens as you get older my nipples shot out through granted if I was wearing a hoodie like it was quite a thick thing did the same person come and

52:37 - 52:51

tape your nipples who had taped Kelly Rowland the last time I saw you you were taping Kelly Rowland's nipples and now yours okay are we gonna write this book I sense no we don't no we are we are probably you know later this week and later this month

52:51 - 53:02

but yesterday I don't do it I finished my lunch I listened to Kelly Rowland's work the Freemasons said it over and over again I stabbed myself with a knife while trying to open a jar of Vaseline that's not ideal and I knew I was gonna do it

53:02 - 53:15

as I picked up the knife I was like this ends in you stabbing yourself in five seconds just what were you Vaseline and was it from the cycling had you chafed the dreaded gulch from no I was just annoyed that I couldn't open the Vaseline and I thought

53:15 - 53:26

I'm not gonna give up on this so you didn't want to Vaseline anything you just wanted to open the Vaseline yeah yeah that's exactly what I wanted to do that's the thing about the Maverick moon ball you have to Vaseline it every hour it's like

53:26 - 53:41

gremlins if you don't something terrible will happen so I do that I put a plaster on I write a thank you card to one of my daughter's teachers I want to take it into school with me that afternoon I try to organize a birthday lunch whoa whoa whoa

53:41 - 53:54

great aunt it's the first day of term so you can't write a thank you is this some sort of preemptive thank you for all of the education you're about to give to my daughter it's for last year's teacher oh that's slack that is of course it's slack

53:54 - 54:06

but I've justified it to myself as thinking well in some ways it'll mean more now she was drowning a thank you cards in July and now out of nowhere and it's a fantastic what's quite annoying is my thank you card to my just teacher makes

54:06 - 54:19

reference to the fact that she also often as well as being a fantastic educator and sort of pass real care to my daughter she turned a blind eye to a few times where I was as a parent quite disorganized and the length of time I spend

54:19 - 54:32

writing this card makes me very nearly late to pick up my daughter teacher at school was it the wax seal that you had to I don't have a wax seal those days truly are gone I don't think it is actually the juice is quite worth the

54:32 - 54:43

squeeze wax wise at my end but I will get them for other people if they haven't already got them that's my policy so I then head from West London to Southwest London on a variety of public transport and I pick up my daughter from

54:43 - 54:57

school at 3 15 p.m. and I am just on time which is a huge relief and my daughter immediately wants to know what snacks we've got in the car what age what approximate age is your daughter I'm not even going to deal in approximates I'll tell you

54:57 - 55:10

exactly that she's five and a half okay very proud of referencing the half so because of the life choices that I have made not all of which I can fully go into bat for I do commute to my daughter's school it's not a sort of walk around the

55:10 - 55:24

corner so it's a half hour's drive so we have fallen into a habit where there's basically we have snacks in the car for the drive back and the snacks today are an apple and a sweet and a chocolate or as David of Doherty's sister would refer to it

55:24 - 55:39

two sweets what's the sweet the sweet is a maw-am obviously you know your pinballs you know your stripes which are the very thin rectangular ones I can't remember the technical term for this one which is a sort of long thin log but you can

55:39 - 55:46

picture them yeah but it's quite chewy isn't it like that's half an hour of silence in a car is what I'm thinking well that's great I'll just listen to Kelly Rowland over and

55:46 - 56:01

over again and a bit of the Lusanders episode Ivo I can't have them in the house I just I've been waiting to lose this sweet tooth that I've had since the time of your daughter and sure things have changed over time I quite like olives now I drink

56:01 - 56:17

sparkling water however the maum or haribo in the house I basically can't function there's times when I've not just put them in the bin but tip them out into the bin and put coffee grinds over them so then I can't just wash them under

56:17 - 56:31

the tap and eat them then have you ever washed you I could wash a star mix under the tap but the tangfastics you can't really I'm with you I can't if they're in the house I eat all of them all of them absolutely yeah I don't

56:31 - 56:42

have them I don't buy them from a shop but I pick them off the floor at a circus on Sunday morning we went to the Gifford Circus and again this is day before yesterday fair the ringmaster of the circus threw maum into the crowd and obviously most

56:42 - 56:52

were eaten in the moment by children in the crowd but quite a lot ended up on the floor near us and I swiped them in the interval put them in my car and I thought those will be useful very soon right if you're

56:52 - 57:04

only you thought of that you could have got that star back that you lost from the bouncy balls thing in your Edinburgh show just firing maum out into the audience in the eyes of Brian Logan that might have moved things closer to a one than a three

57:04 - 57:19

and fair enough the show was little more than a series of panicked gimmicks so a brutal review of your own show there that was that was just such a harsh little throwaway there at the end Ivo that's all right you know I'll try and

57:19 - 57:34

sort of throw you know do my harsh throwaways but I in more of a sort of muttered undertone but I consider them to be little sort of Easter eggs I consider the Ivo Graham podcasting experience it's like an incredibly jolly series of breathless slightly sort of

57:34 - 57:44

quasi surreal anecdotes but with these little glimpses yeah and you just have to keep to keep it right but you know fundamentally I've got my balls I've got my bands and

57:44 - 57:53

I'm singing along in the car with my daughter once she's finished her apple and her maum and she's riding the sugar high in the last ten minutes of the journey and

57:53 - 58:05

we're listening to the soundtrack where are we going from her school to my home don't you worry yeah and we're listening to the soundtrack to Thelma the unicorn we make it home and it's at this point that my daughter declares her desire to make

58:05 - 58:19

walnut cupcakes great and I think this would be very wholesome so it's about sort of quarter to four and so there's a bit of the afternoon for an activity but I suspect that I don't have the requisite ingredients or tools in my home

58:19 - 58:35

to make walnut cupcakes so we move things a bit in that direction and I think it's I've got a bag of walnuts from maybe a previous experiment best before date is late 2023 the bag is open I have a walnut and it's fine but I don't really like

58:35 - 58:47

walnuts so it's basically the sort of out of datedness have moved the walnut from a six out of ten to a four out of ten experience it's not like rotten I say to my daughter do you want a walnut and she has it and she

58:47 - 59:02

says it's boring and that really takes the wind out of the sails of the walnut cupcakes idea she's not wrong but I reckon a lot of I find spending time with a five-year-old is trying to work out how much to invest in any of the delightful ideas that

59:02 - 59:15

are just sort of passing through it's like even if I had all this stuff we could devote 45 minutes to this walnut cupcake thing but she'd have moved on to something else by the time they're ready and if she didn't then we're probably gonna be eating quite a

59:15 - 59:29

lot of walnut cupcakes at the end of what's already been quite a sugary afternoon we don't have walnut cupcakes in the end but I do order a walnut cupcake some cupcake making equipment lest this whim return later in the week right so we've got to

59:29 - 59:43

get a hustle on Ivo because our producer tells us the perfect podcast is 50 minutes long and it's 4 p.m. and we're an hour and 10 minutes in but I don't want it to feel rushed for the listener right so we haven't made a cupcake and it's five o'clock

59:43 - 59:55

that's what I'm saying yeah it's got to five o'clock we the afternoon has passed very happily mostly on drawing alone we've done some lovely drawings and then we have tea and it's your standard fish what have you done so you've drawn Clive of India

59:55 - 1:00:24

sometimes I feel the five-year-old overestimates the leg length when drawing people Ivo you know the short torso maybe long arms and over-emphasis on fingers this is what you need to really educate out of her with her pictures what were you drawing well I actually thought her Winston

1:00:24 - 1:00:41

Churchill yesterday was actually she really captured him and I said I can go straight in a frame alongside all the other Churchill's no it was some delightful sort of animal scenes with increasing writing along the sides because she's learned to write terrifyingly quickly and so

1:00:41 - 1:00:51

that was V nice and then we had tea which I would say it was also uneventful tea and we did a bit of reading which is a daily essential now right her books my work my work my work my work my

1:00:51 - 1:01:09

any of the those no and no danger yet in our house David and I'm sorry because I dare say with no disrespect to the boys I've no doubt that David O'Doherty's dangerous everywhere is in the top tier of celebrity cash in children's book oh this bird I

1:01:09 - 1:01:23

I've been okay I've never so I can see that the little thing I recorded on the he's a speechless as he was in the Britain's protection it's about to go into the red zone but it's necessary I've been writing children's books for fucking longer than I've

1:01:23 - 1:01:37

been doing comedy all these pricks coming on in the pandemic I didn't know they're not making any money and they churn out these shit I've been in the trenches for years I did it when you got it like 700 quid for writing a children's book

1:01:37 - 1:01:53

thank you is that your normal voice David I knew I was being provocative I had perhaps underestimated how provocative and I have a great respect for your multi-hyphenate oeuvre and I think that you know that and I think you though they seem like

1:01:53 - 1:02:11

lovely men and they are themselves very multi-talented I think that Doogie Pointer and Tom Fletcher from McFly might come under this sort of wrath umbrella that you popped open just there with their series about a dinosaur who poops a series of different things and Edie loves

1:02:11 - 1:02:23

dinosaurs and she loves poop and last night we read the dinosaur that pooped the past by Tom Fletcher and Doogie Pointer the dinosaur that pooped the past yeah yeah he's like pooping like Incas and Mayans no no that's what I

1:02:23 - 1:02:43

hoped of course when I picked it up as part of the dinosaur that pooped series but no it's about it's not like a stegosaurus turning around expecting a bowl and going shit I've shat out the Barry Celeste Rushden always has a ship to hand

1:02:43 - 1:03:04

so we read that we watch a little bit of animated Mr. Bean which he's hugely enjoying at the moment he's always animated that guy it's very rare that he's just glum sitting in a chair his later work yeah yeah he's more thoughtful bean craps last tape by

1:03:04 - 1:03:26

Samuel Beckett he's just sitting on a bed staring into space it's the second Beckett reference in a podcast where darkness is never fully banished we watch bean and then it's bath time it's a good bath I what have we got in the bath I've over just classic ducks

1:03:26 - 1:03:42

have we got any wind-up things that swim up and down we've got some classic wind-ups some ocean animals we've obviously got a bluey a bluey bath toy yeah but actually my daughter's most interested at the moment in sort of doing and maybe this is the thwarted

1:03:42 - 1:03:54

cupcake dreams of an hour before starting to take hold but she wants to do a sort of chemistry lesson in the bath where she's pretending to sort of mix and cook with different things and what she wants to do today is put

1:03:54 - 1:04:09

lots of toilet roll in the bath and like I think she knows that it's going to disintegrate but I think she underestimates how quickly it disintegrates but I have to let her sort of discover this for herself and we buy our toilet roll environmentally from

1:04:09 - 1:04:25

who gives a crap which I'm a big fan of but undeniably it's not the most environmental usage of it just to pop it straight in the bath but it does make a wholesome scene I have in the past toilet roll into the toilet itself yeah

1:04:25 - 1:04:42

like the whole thing and then that's quite nice because it gets enormous then it's sort of like a rough yeah evil rough a medieval rough that's what they used I believe yeah yeah the dinosaur pooped one at one point so it's a messy bath which

1:04:42 - 1:04:51

involves a fair bit of cleanup after my daughter's gone to bed but the hair wash gets done and that happens just once a week and it's never easy after that and

1:04:51 - 1:05:06

she's in bed by about 8 p.m. right hey and then my evening stretches ahead of me and it's at this point that I make my second pod will eat itself decision of the day I want to end the day as I

1:05:06 - 1:05:27

finished it by locking my phone in a box and a raw dogging some culture without well out of the small screen in my hand yeah and I text David O'Doherty to say what's your favorite film jaws so I watched jaws so I was curious as to why

1:05:27 - 1:05:44

you had texted me I thought it might be for some other podcast you were doing and then you were trying to judge if I would be worthy of going on it and so I did think for a moment about giving you a slightly fancy maybe an obscure Irish

1:05:44 - 1:05:59

film or something like that and then I was like no just be honest like in terms of the film I've watched the most the film I've tried to work out whenever I've tried to to write movies which hasn't been very many times it is jaws

1:05:59 - 1:06:11

it is perfect everything's great you feel great at the end even though a man has died you're just delighted with a shark and a man have died so listen I would have watched I think I was very set on my plan of watching whatever

1:06:11 - 1:06:23

David O'Doherty told me to watch at this exact moment and I think I'd have watched the obscure Irish film but quite a sort of running thing in my life and on my podcast with Alex Gigpigs is that I no matter how famous a film that is

1:06:23 - 1:06:35

brought up I'm more likely not to have seen it and seen it I don't know what I was doing in my sort of early film watching years Wow watching a lot of just football videos over and over again but I've never seen Jaws I've now seen

1:06:35 - 1:06:46

Jaws Wow and I loved it of course I loved it it's fantastic so you've never seen any of the Jaws no no I didn't be astonished if I'd seen Jaws 2 I know but

1:06:46 - 1:06:57

like I reckon by accident you'd have seen a bit of a Jaws movie well I I thought as I loaded it up and I delighted and it's on Netflix there's no excuse I thought um is there gonna be a point quite alone where I'm like oh yeah

1:06:57 - 1:07:09

of course I've seen Jaws of course I knew what it was vaguely knew about so it had that it had a familiarity about it take this Ivo as a sort of obscure cultural reference it's used quite a lot someone will be described as like the

1:07:09 - 1:07:28

mayor from Jaws which is the person who appeases the bad thing happening that inevitably leads to the catastrophe but I'm interested would you have understood what that reference was or have we opened your eyes no and I was gonna say how much I love Murray

1:07:28 - 1:07:43

Hamilton's mayor he's fantastic one of the ones I have seen is the graduate and I love him in the graduate as well this is sort of antagonistic figure like obviously the suits are meant to convey that he's an idiot that's more about sort of presentation than about humanity

1:07:43 - 1:08:03

but I still watch it I thought god I'd love to have a couple of the mayor's suits and that thing about the mayor from Jaws I didn't get that and I'm not to we're gonna need a bigger boat I was like oh I'm like I've used I don't

1:08:03 - 1:08:21

wish to talk up my own sort of semi viral tweet during the period of I guess what 2022 that Boris Johnson was clinging on by a miserable undignified thread and all he had going for him was his sort of hearty opportunistic relationship with Zelensky and then

1:08:21 - 1:08:35

something else came out about Boris Johnson a fresh scandal and I tweeted we're going to need a bigger Zelensky and it did solid numbers as an opportunistic topical joke you know occasionally did back in 2022 so I was using the format without even knowing

1:08:35 - 1:08:51

where it was from I'd love to have been with Ivo the first time he saw Hamlet and when it's to be or not to be to think how different your evening would be if you'd asked me and watched Robin Hood Prince of Thieves never seen it

1:08:51 - 1:09:06

Wow never seen it that'll be the next one to the trees okay so we watched Jaws that is so good that's so good I loved Jaws yeah and again I watched Jaws in pretty much there was a Jaws pause at about the halfway mark maybe

1:09:06 - 1:09:13

when they set off I mean I don't want us to turn into a Jaws podcast but I was intrigued and obviously the dream scenario it's not just phone in box but

1:09:13 - 1:09:30

like you don't even know how long is left of the film whereas the occasional pausing I've been like wow and sort of checking in advance how long it's gonna be it's like they're getting on this boat and then they're still on a boat with like 10 minutes to

1:09:30 - 1:09:44

go the shark is very much on top and then Quinn I don't think I'm doing any spoilers here because I think I'm the last person on earth not to have seen Jaws and I now have so Jaws is now open for chat globally so like Quinn gets

1:09:44 - 1:10:01

eaten with like three minutes left of the film yeah and then mr. Brody kills like two minutes left sheriff Ivo please sheriff and then what's this sort of oceanographer call college boy yes the college boy then pops up he's alive and

1:10:01 - 1:10:12

then they swim back to shore and it's what do you say that it's in quite a sort of breathless last 10 minutes yeah I was I was hoping to see the mayor again essentially the you know that they'd go back and they'd be like one

1:10:12 - 1:10:26

more beach scene and people would start swimming again and you know I always in films want in the credits photos of what they're doing now even if there's absolutely no I always want that I always want that even when there's actually no need for

1:10:26 - 1:10:40

it that's what I want even they're not real people don't care I just like to know you want the Sharks whole family to be interviewed afterwards yeah after Lord of the Rings I want Bilbo Baggins is now an accountant in Droitwich that

1:10:40 - 1:10:53

kind of stuff see in Lord of the Rings I can't remember anyway right so what time we at this is now 10 o'clock is this bedtime no no I faffed a bit pre Jaws so it's about 11 30 and I go to bed I'm trying to hit

1:10:53 - 1:11:01

pre midnight very symbolic I tried to do pre midnight every day of January and I got to I think January the 10th and then I missed one because a gig ran late and

1:11:01 - 1:11:13

then I just lost the plot completely for eight months and now I'm trying to get good habits for the autumn I consider like the first fortnight of set because if one's life is dominated by the Edinburgh fringe and all the mania leading up to

1:11:13 - 1:11:28

it yeah I would say the first like week or two of September that's like another first week of January if that makes sense yeah it's like this is another chance to hit reset for the autumn well unless I'm working I'm in bed at 8 p.m. I say 8 or

1:11:28 - 1:11:43

8 30 and you're you're juggling some chunky time zones I wish you the very best did you as you went off to sleep though so the scariest bit in Jaws is where the head of the dead fisherman unexpectedly appears in the crack which

1:11:43 - 1:11:54

if you watch the making of in the first cut of it that they actually showed publicly to test audiences Spielberg sat there and said this was a scary moment but he thought this could be as the first time I'd heard the word

1:11:54 - 1:12:12

used a jump scare moment so they actually reshot it and retimed it then so the face and the music appear to absolutely terrify you that because I saw Jaws when I was too young and that did not a mistake I made that I was

1:12:12 - 1:12:25

gonna say it's unlikely I've always watched the making of Jaws isn't it well listen Max if you want to know what happens after the credits I'm gonna finish this podcast and I'm gonna because basically I finished Jaws and

1:12:25 - 1:12:34

then I decided I was gonna go to bed immediately I still had I think I'd done my calculations wrong so I had about 20 minutes left with the phone in the jail and I was like I'm not gonna stay up and

1:12:34 - 1:12:48

faff until my phone unlocks because then I might drift into just doing inane stuff again so I'm just gonna go to bed immediately and I realized that I'd meant to speak to my mum and we hadn't spoken because I locked my phone up and

1:12:48 - 1:13:00

watched Jaws so I emailed my mum saying sorry for not messaging phones locked in the box you know we go again tomorrow and then I went to bed and I wasn't scared I wasn't I mean I was just so

1:13:00 - 1:13:15

happy to have watched Jaws and slightly disappointed by not having got to see the mayor again I didn't go to bed sort of fearful or scared good day Ivo this is probably the main memory might be Jaws what do you think Max well I was

1:13:15 - 1:13:31

gonna say it's a good day but unless he's had a hearty dinner that we've missed he's only eaten a lettuce and I'm and some cocoa puffs and loads of cocoa puffs no it's not enough great dinner in front of Jaws I deep-fried some dumplings and some courgettes and

1:13:31 - 1:13:46

then I had oh I had my new favorite chocolate which is dairy milk Marvelous Creations which my dear friend hey my best friend Alfie and I Alfie Brown we live together in Edinburgh and he loves Marvelous Creations so there were always about

1:13:46 - 1:14:02

five bars of Marvelous Creations in the fridge and that's a habit I've carried with me nostalgically into the autumn so I chomped my way through some popping candy infused milk chocolate watching Jaws doing no doubt irreparable damage to my own teeth you're a father

1:14:02 - 1:14:19

you're a father and you're watching Jaws while eating popping candy what a life because I did some very wholesome parenting from 315 till 8 yeah the failure of the cupcake suggestion not withstanding that's fine I've earned a wholesome if quite childlike evening which I've loved to get straight to

1:14:19 - 1:14:34

sleep I'm afraid I went straight to sleep I'm very fortunate at the moment on that like Napoleon yes had some bleak as fuck dreams but most of them happened today so I shan't bother you them then and they weren't about sharks they're about the ghosts of my

1:14:34 - 1:14:47

own past hey Ivo thank you so much it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you about my day but also live a day which I think was improved for knowing that I would talk about with you and I know that's not the point I know that's not

1:14:47 - 1:14:57

the point because I did think I did wonder when I came up with this idea that you'd have to record all of them before you ever released any of them because people might start changing their days but I didn't think anyone would

1:14:57 - 1:15:16

actually change their days but yeah yeah in the right way that's some pretty conveniently amusing porn you're writing for series to dad yeah yeah all podcasts eat themselves thanks for coming on Ivo thank you for having me I'm gonna send you a photograph of the Vince McMahon meme

1:15:21 - 1:15:42

I feel David that was Ivo Graham and he was so good and so good that his day was slightly planned around this but this outro needs to be short because I fear the podcast will be long because there was detail within he's just so reliably

1:15:42 - 1:16:00

Ivo Graham that's the phenomenal thing about Ivo Graham his brand is just so it's not a contrived brand he's just a man who went to Eaton and things like wax seals just seem to highway men you know these are the things that happen it

1:16:00 - 1:16:15

is like I'm sorry about shouting about a new children's authors it seems like I'm not supporting the scene Max but it boils my piss yeah that's okay I forgive you I'm with you but look thank you Ivo greatly appreciated I learned so much

1:16:15 - 1:16:24

about bouncy balls I really didn't think that's the fun isn't it you just don't think it's gonna go there you don't think you're gonna start heavy on colonialism get to bouncy balls and

1:16:24 - 1:16:39

finish on duels that's why I shouldn't say that that's why it's good you know it's why it's totally ridiculous I wonder if a maverick moon balls will sell any as a result of this podcast if maverick himself is looking at the sales

1:16:39 - 1:16:51

stats and he's like why is there a spike here and it turns out because of what did you do yesterday with those in the bands you the only fear is that Ivo is in the pocket of big rubber isn't he and hopefully he can get out of the

1:16:51 - 1:17:04

out if he's stuck there he can bounce his way out yeah if you want to get in touch with the podcast here's how to get in touch with the show you can email us what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com

1:17:04 - 1:17:21

follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't and that'll do for today thank you David thank you so much yeah thank you I've

1:17:21 - 1:17:43

I've really enjoyed this one we'll be back soon

WDWDY #74: Hoovered Under The Duvet

S4 EP22: Briony May Williams

WDWDY #73: I'm Eating Bullets

S4 EP21: Ben Elton

WDWDY #72: The Montenegro Tease

S4 EP20: Shane Daniel Byrne

WDWDY #71: I could go on You Bet!

S4 EP19: Amy Annette

WDWDY #70: In The Air Tonight

S4 EP18: Paul Williams

WDWDY #69: Caught with a Kumquat

S4 EP17: Waleed Aly

WDWDY #68: I am Poo Poo

S4 EP16: Lloyd Langford

WDWDY #67: I HATE NATURE

S4 EP15: Isy Suttie

WDWDY #66: Busted knees and ruptured spleens

S4 EP14: Mel Giedroyc

WDWDY #65: Max & David's Woke Daydream

S4 EP13: Chris Addison

WDWDY #64: It's 6am in Texas

S4 EP12: Bilal Zafar

WDWDY #63: Faulty Bike Seats

S4 EP11: Tom Cashman

WDWDY #62: Dublin Show Post Mortem

S4 EP10: Phil Ellis

WDWDY #61: Exceptional Perineum

S4 EP9: Marjolein Robertson

WDWDY #60: Yesterday waits for no man

S4 EP8: Fern Brady

WDWDY #59: Fun Facts and Days Before

S4 EP7: Michelle Wolf

WDWDY #58: Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y.

S4 EP6: Susie McCabe

WDWDY #57: Sandwich and soup combo

S4 EP5: Richard Herring

WDWDY #56: All my troubles seemed so far away...

S4 EP4: Vittorio Angelone

WDWDY #55: A Soapy Explosion

S4 EP3: Christopher Macarthur-Boyd

WDWDY #54: A Yesterday Like Any Other

S4 EP2: John Kearns

WDWDY #53: Do yesterdays dream of electric cheese?

S4 EP1: Bret McKenzie

WDWDY #52: Duelling Cheeseboards

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 3)

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 2 )

The Great Christmas Bunny Emergency (Part 1 )

S3 EP27: Rob Auton

WDWDY #51: In Fairness To Lube

No results found

Search Error

Everything Is Showbiz

How to Search:

Popular Search Ideas:

Everything Is Showbiz

EP6: Ivo Graham