0:06 - 0:11
Podcast, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
0:12 - 0:20
I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
0:20 - 0:26
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
0:35 - 0:38
We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
0:38 - 0:45
What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
0:45 - 0:52
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
0:52 - 1:05
I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Yes, hello, and welcome to episode two of What Did You Do Yesterday?
1:06 - 1:12
I mean, has your life changed, David, since episode one, even though these are being released at the same time?
1:12 - 1:22
So that is actually impossible. Yeah, it seems very like still same old belly, same old guy.
1:22 - 1:30
I'm very happy to have got Lou Sanders to do this. And by that, I mean, pestered her with texts till she agreed to do it.
1:30 - 1:39
I mean, there is a hope that one day this will be so big, people will be clamoring to come on it, to like clear the air after whatever scandal they've been in.
1:39 - 1:46
Just big names. Pharaoh out of Pharaoh and Ball comes on it to explain the names of all those paints or whatever.
1:47 - 1:52
But Lou is one of those people who I talk to in times of crisis.
1:52 - 1:59
She is a very smart person and she has lived several lives, I would say.
1:59 - 2:07
She's one of the funniest people I know. And yeah, so I'm intrigued to see on a day to day basis what Lou gets up to.
2:08 - 2:14
At what stage of this burgeoning relationship will I be the person you turn to during the crisis?
2:14 - 2:23
And can we record it and then become one of those podcasts that we're really trying not to be where you just complete like a sheep and cry.
2:23 - 2:26
And then we put out on YouTube and we say, look, we've changed this person's life.
2:26 - 2:32
And then people call me an inspiration for nodding sagely and just telling people to get up early.
2:32 - 2:47
Well, I think, you know, when I think of you and your areas of expertise, which are the names of obscure British footballers from the 90s and 2000s, you're certainly the one, you know, if I needed to remember someone who played for Ipswich in the 1990s.
2:47 - 2:53
So, I mean, you're on it. You're on the same scale. You're just not quite as far up at as Lou.
2:53 - 2:57
It is worth pointing out that in the WhatsApp group, it's who can we get next week?
2:58 - 3:04
And you say Lou Sanders and I say, what about Chris Kawamya? And then we always go, we always go with your suggestion.
3:04 - 3:15
I'm not saying I feel like I'm not being listened to, but at this stage of proceedings, maybe there's a broader appeal to the people that you are bringing to the party.
3:15 - 3:23
Whenever you mention anyone, I Google image search them. And the first 10 pictures are Panini collectible football stickers of them.
3:23 - 3:34
And actually, I'm trying to use this podcast to sort of branch out of just being a football person, you know, because I'm so embedded in football that even like my family and friends use footballing analogies
3:34 - 3:41
to explain just normal everyday things, whereas I understand normal everyday things as just the things that they are.
3:41 - 3:47
I get them, but I almost feel that ship has sailed. So this, in many ways, this is, it's not a vanity project for me, David.
3:47 - 3:53
I'm not using you as a stepping stone to branch into, you know, the world of light entertainment.
3:54 - 4:02
But I hate light entertainment. Again, have you been defrosted from a glacier after 30 years?
4:02 - 4:07
The new Morcombe and Wise, is that what you're thinking here? I'm thinking strike it lucky, something like that.
4:07 - 4:21
If I wanted to deprogram myself, I think Lou Sanders would be one of the people that, you know, because she's very open about the way her unique brain works.
4:21 - 4:31
And she's good at seeing how your brain works. So maybe this is the perfect guest to move you away from the football rat race, Max Rushden.
4:31 - 4:35
So look, this is episode two of What Did You Do Yesterday? We hope you enjoy it.
4:35 - 4:52
It's the brilliant comedian, Lou Sanders. Welcome, Lou Sanders. Ah, hello. Thank you for having me.
4:52 - 4:56
Lou, we have one question for you, but then that will be followed by lots of other questions.
4:57 - 5:04
What did you do yesterday? Yeah, if I was an a-hole, I would cheat on this.
5:04 - 5:09
No cheating. And give you the day before, but I wouldn't, but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to you.
5:09 - 5:14
No. I did get up at 10, I got up at 10.15. Whoa, hang on a second.
5:14 - 5:21
Yeah, this is the latest person. So basically, we're talking to inspirational figures from the world of culture.
5:22 - 5:28
And thus far, in the four we've done, they've all got up at about seven or eight.
5:28 - 5:33
Right, getting up at 10.15 is inspirational. You two would love to do it. You'd love my love.
5:34 - 5:40
So just to be clear, did you wake up at 10.15? Or did you lie in bed for three hours?
5:40 - 5:49
For full transparency, I usually get up about eight o'clock. But I have been getting up at 4.30, 4 a.m. and 4.30.
5:49 - 5:54
Oh, sorry, I thought you meant four in the afternoon. No, no, no. And then going back to bed.
5:54 - 5:58
And that's why I'm sort of getting up at 10.15. I think it might have been 10.30, actually.
5:58 - 6:03
But if you take into consideration all the work I did at 4.30, which was nothing.
6:03 - 6:07
But I was up for three hours. You sort of think, fair enough, love. Come on.
6:08 - 6:14
So hang on. So yesterday, you got up at 4.30. Where does this podcast start? I think we got to start at four then.
6:14 - 6:19
Yeah, okay. What were you doing at four? Four a.m. A lot of thinking.
6:21 - 6:28
Not good thinking. Not good thinking. Oh, no. Bad thinking. Some bad thinking. Were you, like, planning crimes and stuff?
6:28 - 6:33
Oh, God, yeah. That sort of thinking? Oh, yeah. No, I keep waking up at about four, 4.30.
6:33 - 6:36
Like, today I woke up. I know you don't care about today. No, I don't care.
6:36 - 6:40
No, okay. On we go. But I did a lot more. So yesterday. I was very functional today at four.
6:41 - 6:45
So yesterday at four, do you get up or are you just lying there, bad thinking?
6:45 - 6:51
I scroll. Oh, Lou. I'm not here to give advice. I'm not here to give advice.
6:51 - 6:55
So I'm not going to react to that. Oh, Lou. But I learned from yesterday to today.
6:55 - 7:00
Because yesterday I was scrolling. I might have done some morning pages, but I don't think I did.
7:01 - 7:06
And, like, I had to sandwich. You had a sandwich? Yeah, but today I did some writing.
7:06 - 7:08
So I thought, I'm not going back to sleep, so I might as well do some writing.
7:09 - 7:13
And I packed. Hang on. So yesterday, at what time did you have a sandwich?
7:13 - 7:18
Well, I think it was about 4.30, yeah. If you want the details, and I think you do.
7:19 - 7:28
Yeah, we do. Yeah, I think you'll like this. Fake ham, mayonnaise, butter, mustard. I think that's it.
7:29 - 7:35
Oh, avocado. And what's morning pages? Oh, my God. Do you not know? No. No.
7:36 - 7:39
I'm about to change your life. Go on. I'm about to change your sorry little life.
7:42 - 7:48
You just write how you feel. Go on, go on. I was just going to say, I'm not here to say who has the sorry little life.
7:48 - 7:53
No. Only one of us was having a fake ham sandwich at 4.30am. Quite right, too.
7:54 - 7:57
And that's why I can say it. And if David said it, it would be unfair.
7:58 - 8:06
It would be what we call too close to the bone. I'm sorry. Maybe we don't know each other well enough.
8:06 - 8:11
No, you've got to. I mean, David sat there with six bikes, you know. We all have a tragedy.
8:11 - 8:19
I'm in a cupboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Morning Pages, you just, well, you write how you feel about stuff and get it all out of your body.
8:19 - 8:27
It's very good. It's journaling. Does it help? Yeah. Look at me. Or you can write about materials.
8:27 - 8:34
That's what I'm going to do now. Now I've got no emotions left. I'm just going to write material and try and find endings to bits and stuff.
8:34 - 8:40
So without wanting to pry, what did you write about? Yes, I mean, I am prying, I guess.
8:40 - 8:46
I've got some very dark family stuff going on. And that's why I think I'm sleeping in as well.
8:46 - 8:51
Was the dark family stuff mixed with, and this is a lovely sandwich. I'm really enjoying this sandwich.
8:51 - 8:57
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Yeah, there's an argument that I was eating my emotions and I'm happy to explore that.
8:58 - 9:03
Did you write for the whole three hours? No, if I'm honest, I don't think I did any writing, actually.
9:03 - 9:06
I think I said that to make myself sound better. Okay. But it really did.
9:07 - 9:10
It really worked. Oh, I tell you what I am doing. I'm reading this book.
9:11 - 9:18
It's a very lightweight book. It's about gratitude. No, it's more like you've got to be grateful for everything.
9:19 - 9:23
So every day you have to write 10 things that you're grateful for and then really feel that gratitude.
9:24 - 9:29
So I do do that as well at the moment. Because I heard that people wrote three and three seems manageable.
9:29 - 9:35
But once I got to like seven, I'm not sure I'm grateful for anything. Oh, you could go for hours, come on.
9:35 - 9:44
Living in the free world. Yeah, okay. Can you repeat things you're grateful for? Yeah, my first day, I took two pages and I really went for it to do the 10.
9:45 - 9:50
And then they got shorter and shorter because I thought, well, I haven't got time to really explore this gratitude.
9:51 - 9:54
It was things like it was one paragraph in each bullet point on the first day.
9:55 - 10:05
And then by the fourth or fifth day, it's like cats. And that's it. Cats, hats, bats, flats, mats.
10:07 - 10:11
Lou, have I ever figured in one of the things you're most grateful for in the world lists?
10:12 - 10:19
Oh, yeah. When I came to Dublin, you would have, for sure. Yes. Do you think this podcast might figure in a tomorrow?
10:19 - 10:27
I mean, I know we don't care about tomorrow. Definitely will figure, yeah. It might even, I don't know if I've done them today because I'm so out of whack with sleep.
10:28 - 10:39
I have no idea what day I'm on. So it might even feature today. I have a feeling, David, you wouldn't make a great therapist, given that question one was, am I in it?
10:39 - 10:48
Am I in the thing? So, Lou, do you fall back asleep or do you have a technique for going back to sleep?
10:48 - 10:55
Because this is interesting. This is almost, what did you do twice yesterday? Because it's two separate days almost.
10:55 - 11:00
So after about three hours, then I am so tired, I just fall back asleep.
11:00 - 11:09
But sometimes I have used meditation, hypnosis, and that's usually quite good. Although it hasn't been recently, but usually it's quite good.
11:09 - 11:14
Did you consume the whole sandwich? Did you wake up with some ham sandwich sort of on you?
11:14 - 11:18
I eat really fast. So I would have done it in about a minute and a half.
11:18 - 11:22
I'd still have it for another three hours. If I go on a date, I've finished mine before they've even...
11:22 - 11:31
Yeah, I have that problem. One man left early after he saw me eating. It's a real power plate just to finish.
11:32 - 11:41
Maybe even have the plate cleared away. Maybe even order dessert while you're just staring at them, like eating some soup, some first course soup.
11:41 - 11:45
Do you know eating on a thing, I didn't realise this, eating is a power plate.
11:45 - 11:53
That's why all the gangsters and stuff, if they have a meeting with you, if, big if, if they have a meeting with you and they eat a sandwich halfway through,
11:53 - 12:03
you're quite low down on the pecking order. Is that right? I go into interviews with a sandwich hanging out my gob just to show them who's boss.
12:03 - 12:10
Chris Wilder, the Sheffield United manager, got very upset because a referee ate a sandwich in front of him.
12:10 - 12:16
In the post-match interview, he said, who does he think he is eating a sandwich in front of a Premier League manager?
12:17 - 12:23
Wow. So it is like he's playing to the kind of mafia rules. Wow. I think so.
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The thing is, if I'm hungry, let me pop a little something in my gob.
12:27 - 12:31
Jesus, I don't want to have to worry about your ego, not you, but, you know, someone's ego.
12:32 - 12:35
Maybe it's different if it's like Milky Bar Buttons or something. Do you know what I mean?
12:36 - 12:40
They're less intimidating. Where do you order that? What restaurant are you going to on your date to say?
12:40 - 12:45
If he says, I'll have the turbot, and then you say, no, I'll have the Milky Bar Buttons.
12:46 - 12:52
Certainly certain things would be less of a power plate to eat. Is it called a calypso or a calippo?
12:52 - 13:03
One of those ice pops where you squeeze it up from the bottom. I feel it'd be hard to tell someone you're going to kill them while you're trying to get the juice up the side of it.
13:03 - 13:07
That would be more arousing, I think, than intimidating. The way I do it, certainly.
13:08 - 13:14
We've lost track here. Let's focus, everybody. You've fallen back to sleep at about half past seven, right?
13:14 - 13:21
Yeah. Max is running the numbers here through all times. You wake naturally at... About 10.15.
13:21 - 13:27
10.15, right. Yeah. That's just me on my own getting myself up. Great. Powerful stuff. And where do you go?
13:27 - 13:32
What do you do straight away as soon as you... Is your first reaction, shit, it's 10.15?
13:32 - 13:37
No, because I've got a nice time at the moment where I'm not very busy.
13:37 - 13:47
Great. Which is mixed blessings, I suppose. Yeah. So I just thought, enjoy yourself. And I got up, I saw my flatmate, Link McQueen.
13:47 - 13:57
He said, it's 10.15, dear. With, I'm going to say, a little bit of judgment. Did you say Lee McQueen, the man who won The Apprentice?
13:57 - 14:05
Yeah, it's Lee McQueen. Yeah, it's business, business, business. It's very business around here. He's already got his briefcase.
14:05 - 14:13
He's doing his crunches. He's on his third Zoom. Yelling, I'm the best salesman in Europe.
14:14 - 14:18
Yeah. And you know what? God love him, actually. Yeah. It just works because we're so different.
14:19 - 14:25
So I presume when you enter that room, you're in some way dressed. From the waist up.
14:25 - 14:31
Yes, from the waist up. Yeah. Good, good. Do you call that skimming in England?
14:31 - 14:36
Is that skimming? I don't know. Where you just have a T-shirt on with nothing else.
14:36 - 14:41
Growing up, that's what we definitely would have referred to that look. As skimming. As skimming.
14:42 - 14:47
Yeah, and it's weird that that's not the first thing he mentioned. He mentioned the time before.
14:47 - 14:53
In fact, I've got no trousers on. But he's so head in business. It doesn't affect him.
14:57 - 15:03
So you're having a little break from the world at the moment, which is we thank you for doing our podcast.
15:04 - 15:09
Not a break from the world. Just that I'm just doing gigs in the evening, a bit of writing in the day.
15:09 - 15:16
It's the slow pace. Yeah. And that is because there's not that much telly around at the moment.
15:16 - 15:22
Oh. He did. Yeah, but you're doing this podcast, and this podcast is known in the industry as the golden handshake.
15:23 - 15:28
Because after you do it, money just starts to roll in. I think that's why they call it the golden handshake.
15:28 - 15:36
I mean, don't worry. I've got projects. I've got projects. Don't worry about me. But I'm sowing the seeds in farming terms.
15:36 - 15:46
So I would say having sown the seed of eating a sandwich at half four in the morning, you're probably not hungry for breakfast then at 10, 15.
15:46 - 15:52
Well, I did the same routine today, and I'm absolutely starving. Yeah, but today is of no interest.
15:53 - 15:58
No, I know. I know. But you know when you have tea on an empty stomach, it really unsettles you.
15:59 - 16:04
That's what I'm dealing with right now. You don't drink caffeine though, do you? I do, yeah.
16:04 - 16:08
I might need to just go and put a banana in my mouth because I think I'm going to be sick.
16:08 - 16:15
Hang on a sec. I'm so sorry. No, no. Please do. Max, we can cover this.
16:15 - 16:19
I think so. It's the first time we've had to deal with a lull in proceedings.
16:19 - 16:22
It's the first time I've ever hung out with you, just the two of us.
16:22 - 16:30
I know. Are you enjoying the podcast series so far? It might be a bit preemptive for us to have a discussion now about how well the podcast is going.
16:30 - 16:39
Well, in the background, we hear Lou violently throwing up a banana. Well, my understanding was it was either eating the banana or violently throwing up.
16:39 - 16:45
I didn't think it was… Well, I can't eat the banana on the podcast because of what we said about it being a power play.
16:46 - 16:50
You're absolutely right. How did it go? I mean, you did consume it quickly. You were true to your word.
16:50 - 16:55
I've still got a little bit, but you won't even notice. Okay, so you walk into the living room.
16:56 - 17:06
Lee McQueen is there. He says it's 10.15. It's Luke McQueen. Luke McQueen. I say, no, honestly, dear, I'm going to work really hard today because I've just got up.
17:07 - 17:13
And he says, all right, I'm going out to meetings and stuff. So I say, all right, don't worry about me.
17:13 - 17:23
I'm going to work so hard. And I sit in my pajamas till about 5.30. But then… Hang on.
17:24 - 17:29
I think we need to break that down a tiny bit. Episode one, Nish Kumar spent seven hours on a sofa.
17:29 - 17:33
It's fine. We like these days. These are good days. You sat in your pajamas.
17:33 - 17:40
You must have done something. You must have consumed something, like some content, watched something, listened to something.
17:40 - 17:44
Well, I did get my admin out of the way. I'll say that for myself.
17:44 - 17:50
There's always admin to do in life. It amazes me, actually. Were you tempted to go to the cafe or the park?
17:50 - 17:58
Sometimes I enjoy doing admin because I can't do creative work. I'm trying to write something in a cafe or a public space.
17:58 - 18:05
Yeah. So I've got this new merch line out. What? Well, you know how boys can't find anything?
18:06 - 18:08
Men are often like, oh, I can't find it. And you have to come and help them.
18:09 - 18:14
I've got a mug that says, weaponized incompetence is my love language, if anyone's interested in that.
18:15 - 18:19
I've got a tea towel that says, make me wet. Do you get it? Because you have to dry it when you dry it.
18:19 - 18:25
Yeah, yeah. All this other stuff. So I was doing a check on those to see how it was going.
18:25 - 18:30
And a lot of visitors to the site. Yeah. People are deciding when to buy.
18:30 - 18:35
They haven't swooped in yet, but they're checking it. They're thinking about it. It hasn't translated to a lot of sales.
18:35 - 18:39
And I think I'm offering a really good product here. Hang on. You've got the tea towel.
18:39 - 18:43
You've got the mug. Have you got anything else in the range? Oh, God, yeah.
18:43 - 18:48
I've got a t-shirt that says, band t-shirt, just so you can let people know that you like all sorts of music, really.
18:49 - 18:55
Oh, that's good. That's nice. Yeah. And then I've brought back the Dick Inspector caps, because a lot of people were asking where they were.
18:55 - 19:00
But it's a better design. It's a bigger hat now. A top hat. Yeah, it's a top hat, yeah.
19:01 - 19:05
We went with top hat in the end, yeah. Good choice. Give them what they want.
19:06 - 19:12
And then I'm doing a new show for a tour in February. And I thought, there's some holes in it.
19:12 - 19:19
I need to get these bits right. And you know the bits that are sticking, and you're like, I can't get them.
19:20 - 19:25
So I thought I would channel from the universe. So there I was, sat in my PJs.
19:25 - 19:32
I just said, angels of the light, you know, the big man himself, who's large and in charge, got himself.
19:33 - 19:37
You know, if you're not too busy, can you help me with these holes? I'll be a vessel.
19:38 - 19:43
He's got a lot on at the moment. He has a lot on. I'm not sure he has time to do this.
19:43 - 19:47
Does he want me to have a laugh or not? And I did actually write something.
19:48 - 19:51
Wow. It worked. And then I told it to Luke later, and he said, it's not good enough.
19:52 - 19:56
And I was like, well, you're dissing God himself there. So that's embarrassing for you.
19:56 - 20:04
You can't see true glory. Admin, then creative work with the help of the Lord.
20:05 - 20:10
OK. I mean, you're going to have to have eaten. You're going to be getting hungry around lunchtime.
20:10 - 20:16
Oh, you want to know my lunch? 100%. You want to know my lunch? Sorry, before we get to lunch, we covered everything before lunch.
20:16 - 20:22
Is it merch admin writing some bits? I did spend about an hour and a half with the two cats.
20:23 - 20:28
Telling them they're gorgeous. Telling them they're the light of my life. Wonderful. Telling them that I'll never leave them.
20:29 - 20:32
Telling them that we are moving, and I'm going in the garden. Don't worry about that.
20:32 - 20:36
And ticking their ears. Is that true? That's true, yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, I'm moving to Margate.
20:37 - 20:43
Oh, lovely. I'm moving to Margate for the boys. Yeah. Will they not jump out, though, if they're indoor cats?
20:43 - 20:47
I don't know a lot about cats. But how are they going to take to living close to the sea?
20:47 - 20:55
Back garden, it's walls. They can't get up. They're going to be fine. Yeah. I don't think they'll become seafaring, David.
20:55 - 21:00
It's my hunch. It's your guess. They won't become volunteers for the RNLI, I don't believe.
21:00 - 21:06
Wow, you've been around cats yourself, have you? I'm not a moderate cat. I'm no way an expert.
21:07 - 21:15
I'm not super bad. But I have some moderate experience. Yeah. I really feel like we're getting behind the magician's curtain on this day.
21:15 - 21:20
And by the magician, I mean the one and only Lou Sanders. I am enjoying this so far.
21:20 - 21:31
So we've got the morning, merch, creative, cats, MCC, as it's known. Yes. Then... I put everything in my diary.
21:31 - 21:40
I leave stuff in my email. Do you know, it winds me out when people send me a WhatsApp about dates and stuff, because I think, well, I'm going to open the WhatsApp and then I'm going to forget about the WhatsApp.
21:40 - 21:47
Whereas if it's an email, it's left there. You can open it and then leave it unread or whatever.
21:48 - 21:53
So I've often got a backlog of emails to check, to put into my calendar, phone calendar.
21:54 - 21:57
Yes, modern. And also paper diary so I can see it in front of me.
21:57 - 22:03
I'm just a paper diary. I'm only paper. The last remaining paper diary. But I agree with you on the emails.
22:03 - 22:10
I leave emails in the inbox if an action needs to be taken. And once it has been actioned, I delete it.
22:10 - 22:16
And I can't carry on until everything is actioned on a day. Yeah, and we won't apologise for ourselves.
22:16 - 22:30
I won't. You can only book Max to do stuff by Falcon. He has a little tower and he stands there with his paw up in the air and the Falcon comes back with, do a podcast, 9.30am.
22:30 - 22:35
I do like the paper diary because you can see it. It's a visual medium.
22:35 - 22:39
But I do like the electronic diary because if you're out and about, you can check on your own.
22:40 - 22:47
It's not my day, right? I know it's not my day. But I did get a text message yesterday from a celebrity.
22:48 - 22:52
No, well, you mentioned a Falcon. I got a text message yesterday that said this.
22:52 - 22:59
It was great. It said, we will be with you tomorrow morning between 8am and 9.30am to collect a pigeon for Nick in Dorchester.
23:02 - 23:14
Collection postcode TW75JL, which I believe is sort of Twickenham way. I was like, this is suddenly a real mission for me to get to Twickenham by 8 and round up a pigeon for Nick in Dorchester.
23:15 - 23:19
Was that spam? No, I said, I think you got the wrong number. And they said, are you not Martin?
23:20 - 23:25
And I said, no, I'm Max and I have no pigeons. And then the trail went very quiet.
23:25 - 23:30
And then I regretted not sort of playing along a bit more. Yeah. I don't think you should have given them your name.
23:30 - 23:35
But what's going to happen to me? I don't know. I don't want to think about it.
23:35 - 23:44
No, but you don't give away too much. That's what mother said. I don't think I'm going to be dismembered by people who are going to deliver a pigeon to Nick in Dorchester.
23:44 - 23:49
But you might be right. You don't know what the rhyming slang for a pigeon is among the gangsters at the moment.
23:50 - 23:57
You're right. Yeah. Smidgen. Yeah. A smidgen of drugs. That's what it is. A smidgen of death.
23:58 - 24:02
Sorry. So lunch. Lunch. That's where we are. That's where we got to. Yeah. Lunch.
24:03 - 24:13
Okay. So I, and I think you'd be interested in this. The day before, if I'm honest, two days before, I made too much mashed potato to go to my veg quantities.
24:14 - 24:21
Yeah. Yeah. So it was veg, it was mash, but the mash was enough for six people and the veg was enough for one me.
24:21 - 24:27
So I had some leftover mash. So I just thought, how are we going to sort of zhuzh this up?
24:27 - 24:32
Yeah. You're going to have to do something. Jeepers. This day. No one just wants to eat cold mash.
24:32 - 24:41
With a spoon. Yeah. So I'm adding spinach. I'm adding garlic. I'm adding courgettes. Courgettes went in first, obviously.
24:41 - 24:46
I'm not mad. Yeah. And then I add the mash and I fry it all together.
24:46 - 24:49
It's like a bubble and squeak. Yes. It's like a bubble and squeak, but I'm not very patient.
24:50 - 24:55
So there was no part of it that was brown. Right. I tell you what really would have twisted this podcast.
24:56 - 25:02
If Lou had just said she'd had mash for lunch and then we realised she's in prison.
25:02 - 25:15
Yeah. This whole thing is just you and Lee McQueen are sharing a cell for crimes, maybe to do with the pigeon heist that you're trying to force on my colleague Max here.
25:15 - 25:18
So you get an hour in the yard. You've got your yard hour coming up.
25:19 - 25:24
Is it a crime to cook a lovely lunch for a nice lady? Because if so, arrest me immediately.
25:25 - 25:30
So you had lukewarm mashed potato. No, it was hot, but it was hot. It just wasn't.
25:30 - 25:37
I can never wait until it's crispy brown because that... Did you make like one big patty or is there a selection of them?
25:37 - 25:42
Thank you. Thank you for asking, Max. Patty, I hate that word. Thank you for coming in with the big questions.
25:42 - 25:52
This Guardian training has not gone unnoticed. Yeah. This is my Newsnight show reel. Okay, right.
25:52 - 25:57
It was one big sort of mess, but... Answer the question, Lou. Answer the question.
25:57 - 26:07
Answer the question. So I treated myself to a bit of a kind of fig relish on one bit of it.
26:08 - 26:12
Then it came back more greedy little goose. And that bit I had vegan mayonnaise on.
26:12 - 26:16
And I've got to say it was a lovely time. Do you know the only thing that would have made it better?
26:16 - 26:22
Samphire. But you can't get samphire from anywhere. Don't think you can walk around asking for samphire because no one's got it.
26:23 - 26:28
That would be a really good moment to put in the EastEnders theme music. You just talk about samphire.
26:32 - 26:38
How quickly did you eat the potato cakes? Oh my God, so quickly. Yeah, I can eat really hot things.
26:38 - 26:45
It's kind of one of my... It's like one of my things. Yeah. I can eat really hot things and I can drink really hot things.
26:45 - 26:49
And that's just one of my skills. It's kind of my only skill, actually. Great.
26:49 - 26:55
You should slow down. Again, I don't want to come in with advice here. But you're gobbling down.
26:55 - 27:05
It's like, you know, puppies that have grown up with other puppies. Yeah. Where the dinner is just put down and it's a race to put their little snoots into it and gobble it up as quickly as possible.
27:05 - 27:12
Is that what it was like for the little Sanders growing up? Just the food would be put in a trough on the floor and you'd all need to eat it.
27:12 - 27:18
Because I think that's where this may have come from. I know, but I have had a lot of years of that not being the case.
27:18 - 27:26
But everyone's tried to stop me and slow me down, but it's not happening. I once went to a restaurant in Sydney.
27:27 - 27:33
I remember there was an article on it, even in the British newspapers, was like, is this the rudest restaurant in the world?
27:33 - 27:41
And it was a specific genre of Japanese food where you had to chew every bite 20 times.
27:41 - 27:47
Oh, God. And a woman ran it and she'd come over and she wouldn't give you any more.
27:47 - 27:51
The portions were small, but she wouldn't give you any more till you'd finished all of what was there.
27:52 - 28:02
It was actually a very educational experience going there. But it really sorted me out for, I'd say, a month as regards, because I failed to chew a lot of the time.
28:02 - 28:07
I know I've just said, this is a problem with you. This is literally a problem with me.
28:07 - 28:15
Maybe it's part of whatever disposition draws us to the comedy biz. But I definitely could do with chewing a little bit more.
28:16 - 28:20
Maybe if you put toffee in all of your food, you wouldn't be able to swallow it then.
28:20 - 28:29
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I did do it once in lockdown, because Luke McQueen slash Lee McQueen said, dear, you've got to sort this out.
28:29 - 28:37
You can't be like gobbling away so quick. And for like a day, I was like, look at me.
28:37 - 28:41
I'm a changed woman. Maybe a day and a half. And I couldn't believe my new life.
28:41 - 28:48
And then I forgot. Fair enough. It takes a while for your tongue to tell your brain that it's full, doesn't it?
28:48 - 28:56
So if you're wolfing, your brain's like still definitely hungry here. So I think that's possibly the reason for doing it.
28:56 - 29:01
I used to binge eat a lot. Like I used to be compulsive about food.
29:01 - 29:05
And I'm not anymore. I just eat fast. So I kind of think, well, I've sorted so much out.
29:05 - 29:09
Let me suck my thumb and let me eat fast. They're my only two things.
29:09 - 29:17
I'm not here to change you. Thank you. It's OK. Thank you. So lunch began at midday and finished at 12.01, shall we say.
29:19 - 29:28
Actually, I had quite a late lunch. We're looking at 2 o'clock, really. What's really good is when compared to other episodes, we're really getting through the day.
29:28 - 29:32
Yeah. Which is nice, because quite often we don't give enough time for later on.
29:32 - 29:38
But I feel like we're in a good spot, sort of halfway through the day, halfway through the episode.
29:38 - 29:42
I feel that's kind of what we, it's what David and I have been searching for in the previous.
29:42 - 29:48
Yeah, this is the episode that we've been looking for. I'm really delivering. I'm really, there was so little going on.
29:48 - 29:55
I'm really getting through it fast. I will say, oh, yeah. So I sat in my own stew until I went running as well.
29:55 - 30:00
And you feel awful. If you sat in your pyjamas and you haven't showered, you don't feel good about yourself.
30:00 - 30:03
No, that's true. But I just thought, well, I'm going to go for a run.
30:03 - 30:11
I know it. I know it. So I don't like showers very much. I grew up in a bath household, ridiculously.
30:12 - 30:16
So I do enjoy, and I know some people are horrified by the very concept of baths.
30:16 - 30:23
But sometimes it's too invasive. If I'm, say, hung over to have a shower, that's too fiddly.
30:23 - 30:27
So instead, I'll just change my T-shirt and tell people that I have had a shower.
30:27 - 30:32
Well, until I met my wife, I would shower every morning. But she is quite grubby.
30:32 - 30:38
And so I now shower much less. Yeah. Or in the evening. Well, you're both saving the planet.
30:39 - 30:43
It's true. What, in case you get it on or? No, we have a two-year-old.
30:43 - 30:53
I mean, Charles is almost zero. No, it's more just, actually, I spent a long part of my life thinking you couldn't really do anything in the day until you'd showered.
30:53 - 31:00
And now you can dress and leave and nobody knows. And I'm not a naturally smelly person.
31:00 - 31:06
I think I don't have any testosterone, really. I'm sort of very beta. So I don't emit anything.
31:07 - 31:12
This is like the Prince Andrew Newsnight interview. So that, you know, those two things together.
31:12 - 31:19
The combination. I don't feel ready for the day until I've showered, really. And sometimes if I don't have a shower, it's very, very rare.
31:19 - 31:27
I kind of think, I think it's absolutely wild. Hang on. If you were about to go for a run and you were to have a shower before you went for the run.
31:27 - 31:32
No, I did do that the other day because I went to bed in my gym.
31:33 - 31:37
So I was in the gym kit. And I thought, if I'm in my gym kit, I will go to the gym.
31:38 - 31:40
But I didn't go to the gym all day. When you wake up. No, no.
31:40 - 31:45
So all day on this day, I was in my gym kit and I thought I'm going to go at some point.
31:45 - 31:49
I know it. And then I didn't. And then I was like, well, I have to go to bed in my gym kit and then go really early.
31:50 - 31:55
But I did the same thing. Woke up at four. Slept until 10.15. Woke up stinking.
31:57 - 32:01
I'm ready for my run, but I've been in this outfit for too long. And then I stank.
32:02 - 32:05
And then I had to have a shower to be able to look myself in the eye.
32:05 - 32:09
Then I went for a run and then had another shower. But it was so lovely to have that first shower.
32:09 - 32:16
I do wonder this. If you go to sleep in a specific costume. I mean, this is a bit like Mr. Ben, the children's programme from when I was little.
32:17 - 32:26
But with sleep. Like if I went to sleep in a leather jacket. Would I have real alpha dreams where I was really tough and I was bullying everyone?
32:26 - 32:31
Or the Fonz. Or like you'd dream you were the Fonz. Oh my goodness. I'm such Fonz news.
32:31 - 32:37
Oh, he's in Ireland, isn't he? We only know he's in Ireland because there was a fire alarm in a posh hotel yesterday.
32:37 - 32:44
And the TV crew happened to be around the corner at the parliament. And they went to interview one of the poshos standing out on the road.
32:44 - 32:50
Who did they pick? Only Henry Winkler, the Fonz. And ask him what the fire alarm was about.
32:50 - 32:54
So, yeah, that's Fonz news. And he agreed to give the interview. He gave the interview.
32:55 - 33:01
Because I'd be like, pick someone else. His days are happy. If there's one thing I know about him, it's the relentless happy days of the Fonz.
33:02 - 33:06
And he's more than happy to share some of that thumbs up sunshine with everyone.
33:06 - 33:10
He's also, he's cool in everything that he's been in since the Fonz as well.
33:10 - 33:15
He set the fire alarm off for the press, by the way. Exactly. He's got a gig.
33:15 - 33:19
He's got a gig next week in Wolverhampton. He needed to get some publicity for it.
33:20 - 33:25
Although a fire alarm that just made the Fonz noise would be good. If it just went, aye.
33:26 - 33:30
Yeah, just really loudly. Just over and over. It'd be a nice way to, aye.
33:34 - 33:39
Back to your afternoon, Luz. You've had lunch. You've mentioned you're thinking about going for a run.
33:39 - 33:43
But I don't know how close we are to that. And what happens in between thinking about it and having it.
33:44 - 33:48
So exciting just to be in this zone where we don't know if the run is going to take place.
33:48 - 34:01
Wow. I know. I know. And when you do sit home all day on your own with the two cats in your pajamas, you can feel quite sad because you haven't seen any sunshine.
34:02 - 34:08
And you haven't really done anything. So as soon as I put my gym coat on, I thought, here we go.
34:08 - 34:12
This is a bit of action here. This girl's got a little bit of fire in her belly.
34:12 - 34:17
She's put on her clothes at 5.30. Here we go. I'm getting goosebumps even hearing this.
34:17 - 34:22
So hang on, what happened between 2 and 5.30? Oh, yeah. Good question, Luz. Well, we had the potato.
34:23 - 34:32
That covered a minute. A bit more tickling of the cats. I set up some viewing appointments to see some places in Margate.
34:32 - 34:39
Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think the cats respond to the affirmation telling them they're beautiful, that they're wonderful, et cetera?
34:40 - 34:47
Well, I've got a bit of info on that. Yeah. A dog is happier, they've measured, whatever it's called, your nomax.
34:48 - 34:57
Yeah. Dopamine or something. No, I know, but I can't tell you. A dog gets more dopamine from you telling it it's a good boy than from a lovely biscuit.
34:58 - 35:05
Wow. A dog's love language is words of affirmation. And a cat. But you've got cats.
35:05 - 35:09
Yeah, I know. But I'm just saying, well, they've probably done less research on cats, but I imagine it's the same.
35:10 - 35:14
Like when I talk to my cats, like, oh, you're just so gorgeous. I love you.
35:15 - 35:23
They love it. Come on. They love it. Yeah. It's funny. You would never, because if I was talking to dogs, I'd be like, oh, you are so good.
35:23 - 35:31
You know, you are so good. As opposed to like, oh, the little cat. It's quite a specific, different set of voices that I've got there.
35:31 - 35:36
I did. Should I shut the door? Because Lee McQueen's home. He's talking business. Yeah.
35:36 - 35:42
Thank you, Lord Sugar. Yes, Lord Sugar. Exactly what I just said about the cats to them now.
35:42 - 35:47
Yeah. Cats apparently like it if you speak to them in a high-pitched voice. And they don't really listen if you don't.
35:48 - 35:55
Right. Can I ask about property viewing? Because I mean, I think there's no better way to spend time than looking at properties you can't afford online.
35:56 - 36:01
Yeah. That's just one of the greatest. Are you booking viewings for houses you can afford or can't afford?
36:01 - 36:10
Because houses are expensive. So you sort of go, well, I might as well just look at something that's a quarter of a million more than I can afford because the numbers are already ridiculous.
36:11 - 36:17
And you don't face the fact you can't afford it. Which leads me to my next question of can you lend me 200 grand?
36:18 - 36:28
Yes, of course. This podcast will make that. Yeah. Easy. Easy. The endorsements that people will get just by being on this podcast when eventually it is released.
36:29 - 36:35
There's one that I loved and it was 200 grand more than my budget. I'm already stretching myself and a bit scared.
36:36 - 36:45
This one. Oh, my God. It was so nice. But I was talking to the walls because apparently if you talk to the walls of a house and say, I really want to be with you, then the house has got its own energy and the house is like,
36:45 - 36:51
well, I don't want an idiot in here. So no. So no. But were you in the house?
36:51 - 36:55
We were talking to the walls sort of through, were you just looking at the floor plan on right move?
36:55 - 36:58
Or were you in the house? Oh, this was the other week. Yeah. Oh, OK.
36:58 - 37:04
And the estate agent, he was very nice. He did actually recognise me. And I said, I'm just going to, he's like, oh, I like your comedy.
37:05 - 37:10
So I thought, well, can you move on the 200 grand? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
37:12 - 37:16
But I did say to him, I'm just going to tell, I was like, I love this house.
37:16 - 37:22
I can't afford this house. I was talking to the walls saying, look, I'll be back for you.
37:23 - 37:31
Please kind of help me manifest you. But actually, I've put in an offer on a house that's 200 grand less.
37:31 - 37:38
So exciting. Well, let me just share something from my life. When I went to try and buy a house, the year is 2010.
37:39 - 37:47
The house was on for something like a really specific amount, 360. OK. And there was an offer in on that.
37:47 - 37:53
So I offered 362. And the estate agent said, you have it. Just great. I'll get back to you in a day or two.
37:53 - 37:58
And in two days, she got back to me. She said, this has never happened before in 20 years of selling houses.
37:59 - 38:08
They are numerologists. And 362 is their worst number. And they've turned down your bid and gone for 361.
38:09 - 38:15
If she was bullshitting me, it is one of the most elaborate lies I've ever known.
38:15 - 38:22
But I feel that's the danger of bringing the immaterial world into something as materialistic.
38:23 - 38:30
Well, not danger. I know people that have sold their house to people they really like because they want the house to be inhabited by nice people and stuff.
38:31 - 38:41
And they've actually made a bit less money and stuff. But I would not take someone's surname if I got married, apart from if it was better numerologically.
38:41 - 38:47
Oh, wow. And how strong is Sanders? Is it like Countdown? Is it like The Point or Scrabble?
38:47 - 38:52
How does it work? Oh, I don't know. Actually, Lou Sanders isn't numerologically that good.
38:52 - 38:55
So he wouldn't have to come up with much of a name. But it flows nice.
38:55 - 38:59
It does flow nice. Does it? Yeah. Well, I was engaged once to this guy.
38:59 - 39:04
And his surname was Barry. And then I thought it would be so funny to be called Loubury.
39:05 - 39:11
Yeah. Not that funny, actually. Luke McQueen is one of the highest names in Scrabble.
39:11 - 39:17
It's possible to get because that Q is worth 10. Q is 5. Q is 5. Is it 5?
39:17 - 39:27
No. K is 5. Sorry. Max. Take it back. I really went in there with some mansplaining Scrabble scores incorrectly to you.
39:28 - 39:40
Lou, I have a question for you. Sometimes I have seen in my life, I'm pretty sure, I've either seen or dreamt it, either way it's true, people walking cats with cats on leads.
39:40 - 39:44
Yeah. Is that something you could do? Would you ever consider? Do they hate that?
39:44 - 39:50
Yeah. My two don't like it. Every cat is different, I suppose. I did have to take my cats to work one day to the studio.
39:51 - 39:55
Bobber is more outgoing. And he sat in the makeup chair and sat proud around.
39:55 - 40:00
And everyone loved it. And then the other ones have hid behind the sofa in my room for the whole thing.
40:00 - 40:04
But then the fire alarm went off. And so we had. And the fawns went.
40:06 - 40:10
And Luke is just like, yeah, they'll be fine. Leave now. I was like, I'm not leaving them there.
40:10 - 40:15
The noise is relentless. They'll be petrified. So we had one each. They're quite big.
40:16 - 40:20
Took them out into the street and then to the pub. And they didn't mind it.
40:20 - 40:23
But they never like being picked up. They're very cuddly. And they were like, lay next to you.
40:23 - 40:29
They're laying in your arms. But they don't really like being picked up. But because they were so scared, they were so.
40:29 - 40:35
They didn't want to leave our arms. And that was, that was nice. But obviously it's out of trauma.
40:35 - 40:40
It's a bit like when a mum makes their kid sick on purpose. So this kid needs them.
40:40 - 40:48
Oh my goodness. Wow. That's not how the world is. Two to five thirty is petting the cat.
40:48 - 40:53
We'll cut that little bit for publicity for this podcast. You're going to love. I'm saying it's not right.
40:53 - 40:59
I'm saying I'm being self-aware. I'm saying that it felt so nice that they didn't want to get down from our arms.
41:00 - 41:03
But actually, if you investigate that, it's because they were so scared. It's not nice at all.
41:03 - 41:07
And then I was just relating it to the parents that feed their kid too much salt.
41:08 - 41:14
And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. Final point on this, because I'm very interested in all of this.
41:14 - 41:20
You see a lot of dog friendly pubs, yet I've never seen a cat friendly pub.
41:20 - 41:27
It's not a thing really. But you do see a cat cafe. No, cats like to be in their own environment.
41:27 - 41:32
Like this weekend, I was going to bring them to the Cotswolds. Then I just thought it's not going to work for them.
41:32 - 41:37
Because my cats are just so let me down. But then I got someone else.
41:37 - 41:41
And then it's better for them. Because then I would have had to take them to a gig.
41:41 - 41:48
And that's actually quite traumatic for them. Because they don't like my stuff. They like more observational stuff.
41:49 - 41:54
Lou, did you go for a run? Did you go for a run? Yeah, very much so.
41:54 - 42:01
So I am quite slow at running. And I don't like it that much. But then I started on the Naughts 10K app.
42:01 - 42:05
So I went right back to the beginning. Well, I didn't actually. It's halfway through.
42:05 - 42:10
Because I'd done it like years ago. And it took off from there. And that's actually a lot more relaxing.
42:10 - 42:15
Because I only had to run for two 10-minute stints. With a five-minute walk in between.
42:15 - 42:21
And that is really easy. So I had a lovely time. Oh, that's nice. And is that...
42:21 - 42:27
Do you have the Strava man in your ear going, first kilometre in five minutes and 45...
42:27 - 42:33
Okay, I hate him. But I don't know how to turn him off. In my ear, I had a podcast called Manifestation Babe.
42:33 - 42:39
Which was ridiculous. It got recommended to me. And it was about... I was laughing so much.
42:39 - 42:43
It was... They had a guest on. And they were talking about energetic boob jobs.
42:43 - 42:49
What do you mean energetic boob jobs? Well, so the host... I was like, I can't really get on with her.
42:49 - 42:54
But she had a guest on who was quite good. He was only 28. And I thought, I'm not taking advice from a 28-year-old.
42:54 - 42:59
And then everything she said, I thought, I do kind of agree. Anyway, she'd given herself an energetic boob job.
42:59 - 43:06
And that's where they lost me. Okay, did they sort of define the difference between an energetic boob job and a sort of passive boob job?
43:06 - 43:15
A boob job you pay for is obviously synthetic. And it's surgery. Whereas they were saying you can make your boobs bigger just with the power of your mind, basically.
43:15 - 43:21
I see. I see. What did she say? She said, it's maybe not your soul's path to have big tits.
43:21 - 43:27
So you have to work out why. And then you have to... I'm going to get that as an inspirational quote.
43:27 - 43:34
And then you have to deal with that before you can get big titties. Right.
43:34 - 43:37
How long does the process take? Or is it like a cup per day of real concentration?
43:38 - 43:45
It really does depend what blocks are in your way, et cetera. But like I say, I was sort of thinking, even I'm not sure about this.
43:48 - 43:55
My question really as regards, firstly, that's what I have tattooed on my back, the sole manifestation of the boobs.
43:55 - 44:01
Was the two blocks of 10 minutes enough to... I mean, why do we go for runs?
44:01 - 44:05
I hate going for runs as well. But I like going for cycles. I like playing football.
44:05 - 44:13
If a ball or a competition is involved, generally I'll run much more. But all we're trying to do is activate those chemicals that kick in.
44:13 - 44:20
Usually, even when I'm playing a game of five-a-side football with my friends, the first five minutes are like, oh, why did I get up on a Sunday morning to do this?
44:20 - 44:30
But then some euphoric, euphoric is too strong a word, but something kicks in when the neutral bullet of the mind starts to blend together.
44:31 - 44:35
Oh yeah, because I'd also had a 20-minute walk as well. So that's good steps.
44:35 - 44:40
And then I'd been in the park. So that's really good. Got my vitamin D, got my trees.
44:41 - 44:43
Oh my God, the other day I was hugging a tree, just talking to it.
44:43 - 44:51
I sound absolutely mad on this podcast. I've never sounded more mad. And then Simon Amstell walked past with two of the most beautiful men you've ever seen.
44:51 - 44:55
And I was in my gym kit, just hugging a tree. It sounds like a fever dream.
44:56 - 44:59
Hello. Did you say hi to them or did you just let them walk on by?
44:59 - 45:02
Yeah, we had to chat and everything. And they said, well, are you doing that tree?
45:02 - 45:08
I was like, don't worry about it. Don't you worry about it, boys. This is what life in London is like, isn't it?
45:08 - 45:16
I mean, I wonder if this will happen when you move to Margate. You're less likely to bump into the lead singer of Top Loader or Simon Le Bon.
45:16 - 45:22
No, probably more likely. I mean, Jordan Stephens lives there, Tracey Emin, someone else I can't remember.
45:23 - 45:28
Wow, the big three. The Libertines have got a hotel there. I hope I don't bump into them.
45:28 - 45:32
Actually, I do like the Libertines, but I think I like their music. Do they all serve?
45:32 - 45:38
Are they like front of house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the chambermaids. Chambermaid is such an old-fashioned word.
45:38 - 45:44
Whoops. OK, so we've gone for a run. We've met Simon Amstell. Oh, no, this was- No, that was a different day.
45:44 - 45:48
Yeah, sorry. I'm going off on a tangent. So I went for a run. I made some calls.
45:48 - 45:52
I went for a walk. I got back. It was enough. I had like a light sweat on.
45:52 - 46:02
That's enough. OK, Lou, do you feel that this positive course of action you've taken in the day, the change from talking to the cats and sitting there, do you also think,
46:03 - 46:08
maybe I should have done this earlier? We could have turned this oil tanker round in the Suez Canal.
46:08 - 46:17
Sometimes you need time to sit and just think about things. I'm processing, actually. I'm actually processing.
46:17 - 46:22
But I think as long as not every day is like that, it's OK. We're not to know.
46:22 - 46:29
We basically use this as an example. And then what we do is extrapolate it and work out what your life is like every day.
46:29 - 46:40
Oh, no, come on. I have a vision that it's possible when the Earth is lost, all future archaeologists from other planets will have is this podcast.
46:40 - 46:46
Yeah. And they'll have to try and figure it from these random days. Oh, that's what life was like on this.
46:47 - 46:52
Probably too much talking to cats. They would extrapolate from this podcast. That's what everyone was doing.
46:52 - 46:58
Yeah, we're not going to release these. We're just going to put them in a time capsule with some things from Blue Peter, I presume.
46:58 - 47:05
Shoot it to space. So you get home from the run. Go home from the run, feeling quite smug, even though I've actually only run for 20 minutes.
47:05 - 47:11
But I'll get there. And then I'll get ready for my gig. And, you know, suddenly I'm a mover and shaker.
47:12 - 47:15
Right. OK, so this is it. Are you straight in the shower? Straight in the shower.
47:15 - 47:20
Straight in the shower. I've gone from barely a waker to a mover and shaker, you know.
47:21 - 47:25
And then I get ready for my gig. Can I ask quickly? Yes. Have you laid the outfit out?
47:25 - 47:29
Do you pick it at random? What's to buy? Are you performing just the same outfit every time now?
47:29 - 47:34
No, I go for how I feel that day. Weirdly, recently I was wearing a lot of orange.
47:34 - 47:38
And then I looked up what orange meant. And I was very horny at the time because I was ovulating.
47:39 - 47:46
I hope you don't mind me saying. Not at all. David looks so serious. As I say, lads, I was ovulating.
47:47 - 47:51
And I was very drawn to orange. Everything I was wearing was orange about four days.
47:51 - 47:57
And then I looked up what the meaning of that was. And it was like, you really want to be physical in your body and stuff.
47:57 - 48:03
And I was like, well, not half. Anyway, I'm in a red phase. So I put on red for the gig and drove over.
48:04 - 48:09
Oh, only 20 minutes from my house. And I thought, this is great. And then 18 minutes, really.
48:09 - 48:17
And then I thought, God, when I live in Margate, I wonder if I'll just pop up for gigs because it'll be like a sort of four hour, five hour round trip.
48:17 - 48:25
Does your colour of a time affect the way you do the gig? As in, if you were in more of a physical phase, are you more physical in your comedy?
48:25 - 48:28
Are you jumping into the audience? Are you tickling them if they're not laughing? That sort of a thing.
48:29 - 48:35
And what happens in a red phase? I haven't tickled them yet, David. I haven't tickled them yet.
48:36 - 48:42
You've tickled us. Something to think about. With your funny ideas. But I do think colours have an impact, yeah.
48:42 - 48:48
I mean, that's been proven. There's a whole book about it. So colours have an impact on how you feel, but only in a small way.
48:48 - 48:57
Like, I think I've told you this before, like David, not Max, but in football teams, they painted the away team's dressing room pink because it lowers testosterone.
48:58 - 49:02
Yeah, I've heard that. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So colours have an effect for sure.
49:02 - 49:09
But the effect wears off after about 10, 12 minutes or something. So it's an effect, but it's marginal or it's not very long lasting.
49:09 - 49:13
My bathroom is pink. So that's why I never feel horny when I'm in there.
49:14 - 49:22
Now I understand. Just if the listeners feel an increase in pace right now, because somebody who Lou actually wants to talk to is now in her house.
49:22 - 49:27
No, it's not that. It's like my friend is looking after the cats and she's here and we've got to get on the road quite soon.
49:27 - 49:30
Oh yeah, you're off to the Cotswolds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're back from the shower.
49:30 - 49:35
Where's the gig? Where are you playing? Bill Murray in Islington. So have you got new material?
49:35 - 49:38
You got bits of paper or have you memorised it? Yeah, they said you can do some new.
49:38 - 49:45
I thought lovely stuff. In the car, I'm reading through my notes. In the car, I'm writing on my hand at the traffic lights only.
49:45 - 49:54
Then I get to the gig and oh my God, such a nice crowd actually, that really you can't take them seriously because it was so nice for everyone.
49:55 - 49:58
Is it a gig with lots of people playing or is it just you? Lots of people, yeah.
49:58 - 50:04
And audience lovely. Also very fit crowd. They were so like fit. Lots of Australians.
50:05 - 50:10
Don't know why. Apart from these two men sat in the front who looked like they really resented me.
50:10 - 50:14
So I did drill into that. I thought it was a gender thing, but it turns out they've been like that with everyone.
50:14 - 50:23
So careful about your filters. How did the new material go? I mean, for me, the most exciting thing about the job that I'm obviously a full-time podcaster now, but I used to do comedy.
50:24 - 50:29
Of course. And the most exciting part of it, Lou, was when the new stuff hit.
50:29 - 50:36
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've still got some work to do on it, but it was a very warm, responsive room and I didn't start with the new stuff because I'm not mad.
50:36 - 50:40
Yeah. There's definitely some good stuff in it. I just need to think of endings.
50:40 - 50:46
When stuff is true and it really happened, it's really hard to like have a good ending that's satisfying.
50:46 - 50:49
But you get there in the end. It just takes a bit longer, I think.
50:49 - 50:54
People want more truth in their lives. They don't want idiots like me singing songs with tiny plastic keyboards.
50:54 - 51:00
They do, and I've seen that. They want like what you've given us here, this window into a life.
51:00 - 51:04
So we've done the gig. Do we hang around afterwards trying to pick up some hotties?
51:05 - 51:09
God, no. It's straight out the door before they've even said, you know, see you next week or whatever.
51:10 - 51:13
I don't want people to see me getting in my car. I don't want people to know.
51:14 - 51:17
What are you driving? What are you driving, Lou? Well, I can't say. I can't say.
51:18 - 51:27
I don't want people to know. No, because I've had some really weird things at gigs where like a man was like waiting in the car park and like pounced on me and stuff and just weird stuff like that.
51:27 - 51:31
So I don't want people to know my car, really. I'm not going to push you on the car now.
51:32 - 51:36
It's called the Lou-mobile. And it's shaped like Lou's head. This is a proud look.
51:36 - 51:42
It's actually a horse. It's a horse and carriage. So, yeah, it's gone well. They're applauding.
51:42 - 51:49
They're cheering for more. And you are already back driving out the street. Yeah, I will say that no one asked for an encore.
51:50 - 51:53
Club gigs, Lou. You're never going to get an encore at a club gig. No, no, no.
51:53 - 51:56
Very rarely at least. I just thought full transparency. They did not ask for an encore.
51:57 - 52:02
Straight home? Straight home. And then you wrestle with yourself. Do I need a second dinner?
52:02 - 52:09
Hang on. What was your first dinner? No, actually, we've missed a step. I ordered a takeaway because I didn't have to be at the gig till nine.
52:09 - 52:13
So I did order a takeaway. And I ordered my favourite. And it's green Thai curry.
52:13 - 52:18
It's usually red Thai curry is my favourite. Green Thai curry and rice. Me and the deer had some.
52:18 - 52:21
We shared the rice because we don't want that many carbs that late. You know?
52:22 - 52:27
No, Lee McQueen doesn't. He doesn't do carbs. Oh, God, no. Queen by name, queen by nature.
52:27 - 52:32
Am I right, guys? Did you eat a second dinner post-show? You burn cals doing those shows, Lou.
52:32 - 52:40
I didn't. I didn't. Because it was like half-time call to 11. I thought if I just lay my head down, I might just pop myself down, you know?
52:40 - 52:50
And is that what happened? I did about 1am, yeah. Little bit more Doobie Doomscrolls.
52:50 - 52:55
A little bit more. This has been a... Just how are you feeling about the day when you look back at it?
52:55 - 53:02
Do you feel you got through some stuff? I will not feel guilty about having a late start on a bit of an easy day.
53:03 - 53:07
I will not feel guilty because there's times where you're working so hard, I think you need them.
53:07 - 53:14
100%. So what happened between 11 till 1? What do you mean? Oh, uh... You rubbed a bank.
53:14 - 53:24
Go on. Text messaging, friendship calls, text messaging, you know, internet. Oh, I did some weird TikToks.
53:24 - 53:28
I think I might have done them before I left, actually. What are they? What happens in the weird TikToks?
53:29 - 53:35
Oh, I just talked to camera about... Well, I took a bumble date to a memorial gig the night before.
53:36 - 53:41
Hang on, what do you mean a memorial gig? A D-Day memorial? Not a funeral.
53:41 - 53:52
No, Darren Maskell. That's not a gig. Darren Maskell died from sepsis and then he had like a gig to honour him and then I was on a date because we couldn't meet at any other time and he said,
53:52 - 53:55
I'll come to the gig and I was like, oh dear, I don't think it's that kind of gig.
53:55 - 54:01
He said, no, no, no, I'll come to the gig and I said, it might be a bit weird and we're going to talk a lot about someone who's passed away.
54:01 - 54:06
He was like, nah. And it is a bit of a boner killer. In the end.
54:07 - 54:13
Did he get back in touch? Obviously we can't go into that, that's the previous day, but bumble date was like, that was good.
54:13 - 54:17
The following day was the day we're talking about and he did get in touch that day.
54:17 - 54:22
So yeah. Yeah. And will you see him again? Yeah. After my gig on Saturday.
54:22 - 54:27
Wow. I don't think he's my guy but he's fun. Lou, don't say that. He's going to hear this.
54:27 - 54:30
No, you know, you know when you know. I know like that, I know instantly.
54:30 - 54:35
Do you tell them? I mean, do you sort of tend to go, because I remember dating, sitting there going, we should just be honest.
54:35 - 54:41
I remember I've been on one blind date in my life and she walked in the pub and she was identical to my sister.
54:41 - 54:45
And I just wanted to say, you look just like my sister. That's not a bad thing.
54:45 - 54:50
But in this instance, it's a really bad thing. Yeah. It's the only blind date I ever went on.
54:50 - 54:58
So I just, I had two beers and then we went outside and a taxi went past and I just hailed it and sort of threw her in it and then ran away.
54:59 - 55:02
Wow. I don't know if that was the right way to play it. Well, she wanted to get the train back.
55:04 - 55:11
She had to pay £60. She couldn't even live in the area. No, I love being honest now.
55:11 - 55:22
I feel like I can't stop being honest. I went on a different date with this guy and I was like, we are not each other's guys at all, but we can like waste each other's time for a bit.
55:22 - 55:26
And he's like, what do you mean we're not each other's guys? And I was like, I absolutely categorically know.
55:26 - 55:31
Like I know immediately if someone's for me or not. And they never are. So yeah.
55:32 - 55:39
And you went to bed at 1am? Well, yeah, but alone. Thank you. Thank you.
55:40 - 55:44
This has been so fun. Thank you for having me. And Max, you've got amazing energy.
55:44 - 55:51
Oh, that's kind of you. What about me? My energy is so good. Do you have enough energy, David, for your boobs to increase in size?
55:51 - 55:56
Yeah. Maybe I do. No, but David, I already know you. So it's not a surprise.
55:56 - 56:01
I think by reflection, if David's agreed to actually work with someone because he's so great.
56:02 - 56:08
Yeah. I wouldn't say this to him. Then I think you'll probably go, well, he's unlikely to pick an absolute dickhead.
56:09 - 56:16
Just a moderate one. Yeah, I think so. It goes without saying. Thank you so much for sharing this day with us.
56:16 - 56:25
Like, we don't want fancy days on this podcast at all. The previous day with the Bumble date and the Memorial gig, that would have been too fancy for a podcast like this.
56:25 - 56:30
There is beauty in these small moments. And thank you for sharing those small moments with us, Lou Sanders.
56:31 - 56:41
Well, thank you so much for having me. And have a wonderful day today. That was Lou Sanders.
56:41 - 56:47
Thank you, Lou Sanders. What I find intriguing, I mean, there's many things we take from Lou's wonderful podcast.
56:48 - 56:56
She had a green curry. Alice had a green curry. We have a 100% rate of our guests having eaten a green curry yesterday.
56:57 - 57:08
This is big. Also big. No, it is big. Because just imagine. Just imagine that all comedians, they were, basically, they were keeping coconut milk going.
57:10 - 57:16
There was some kind of, you know, it's big coconut milk that really pulls the strings of the comedy circuit.
57:16 - 57:22
Yeah, makes you funny. That's really the secret to eternal laughter is, oh my goodness, this outro.
57:22 - 57:31
Again, we do, like we have been told that the powers that be that control podcasting can watch as the numbers trickle away.
57:32 - 57:38
I'd say most people just stop listening after the guest. But what an Easter egg.
57:38 - 57:42
But these are the ultras we're talking to. This is the ultras we're talking to now.
57:42 - 57:46
These are the ones we really like. The ones that have switched off with five minutes to go.
57:47 - 57:52
You know, fuck them. But that, do you know what? That was a little too far.
57:53 - 57:59
Yeah. Too much, wasn't it? Yeah, absolutely. I didn't mean that at all. If anyone is still with us, I am so delighted.
57:59 - 58:07
Yeah, you can only get this attitude when this is a hugely successful, you know, where we start hating sections of our fans.
58:08 - 58:19
Whereas at the moment, who knows if anyone, as we're releasing the first two together, literally, who knows if anyone is listening to it before you tell a significant number of them to fuck off.
58:21 - 58:26
But Lou was brilliant, I thought. And I enjoyed the, talking to the, hugging the trees.
58:27 - 58:32
Because I, I am not spiritual. I think people, you know, you may have realised this.
58:32 - 58:36
I'm a pretty simple man. So I thought it opened my mind a little bit.
58:36 - 58:41
Even the idea of gratitude to think about it that way because, I mean, I'm too busy.
58:41 - 58:52
I never think about the world that way. And I think it's even in moments like this, three hours after the podcast has ended and we're just talking to each other because we've nothing else to do, Max.
58:53 - 59:00
I'm grateful to have you on this podcast to fill my days. Thank you. Thank you, Max.
59:00 - 59:11
I worry that I am more grateful than you. You can't turn gratitude into an anxiety, which I think you've just said.
59:12 - 59:16
I'm not anxious about it. I just think, I think we're both really into this.
59:16 - 59:23
Yeah. Even if no one else is. But I'm, I think I'm really, like, like, dangerously, dangerously into it.
59:24 - 59:28
And I reckon, you know, if it doesn't get to the absolute top. Oh my goodness.
59:29 - 59:35
I reckon, look, if one of us is, I reckon that you will, you are more likely to leave the band than me, is what I'm saying.
59:36 - 59:40
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. You're Robbie Williams and I'm Gary Barlow. Yeah, I am.
59:41 - 59:48
And in talking to these fascinating people, I am effectively auditioning other people that I could do another podcast with.
59:48 - 59:53
Right. Is that your fear? The thing is, because you're really nice, you're going to do this for two years longer than you want to.
59:55 - 1:00:02
And I don't want to appear desperate, right? I have other interests, but I just think, I think we're both grateful, but I am, I am really grateful.
1:00:03 - 1:00:10
We'll do it for two years. Agreed, Max. Two years of this. No, but I'm saying you're going to do it for two years longer than you want to do it.
1:00:10 - 1:00:16
That would imply that you don't want to do it already. And I think, like, you should at least show some enthusiasm while we're on episode two.
1:00:16 - 1:00:23
Well, let's just say we'll do another one next week. Let's make no further commitment than that.
1:00:23 - 1:00:29
I've enjoyed the first two and now we sort of know what it is. Let's see where it goes.
1:00:30 - 1:00:34
All right. If you want to get in touch with what you did yesterday or anything else, here's how.
1:00:36 - 1:00:42
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail dot com.
1:00:42 - 1:00:49
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:00:50 - 1:00:57
And if you didn't, please don't. All right. Thank you, Lou Sanders. Thank you, David. Thanks, Max.