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Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.
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Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
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Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.
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Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hi, everybody. Welcome to episode... I don't know what episode we're at now.
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We've done so many, David. It used to be you could work it out on your fingers, but we've moved beyond that now.
1:12 - 1:16
We've moved beyond fingers and toes, even, I think. But I'm excited for this one.
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Chloe Petts. She is one of my absolute favourites of comedians to have emerged in the last few years.
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I can't wait, David, for you to say, this one is actually not really one of my favourites.
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But, like, they said they were around, you know? Like, I don't know. I think Chloe is brilliant.
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And, as is established early in the record, is the first guest that actually has a vague idea of my existence, pretty much.
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Not that that has influenced me at all. And she is going on tour. The show's called How You See Me, How You Don't.
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Have a look at chloepetz.org and just go to this. If you think you might like to go and see a new comedian, maybe one you're not that familiar at the work,
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this is the one. Check out Chloe Petts. And here's what Chloe did yesterday. Chloe Petts, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday.
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Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here and to be meeting you properly.
2:20 - 2:25
Well, I say properly, face-to-face for the first time, but over sort of a video thing.
2:25 - 2:34
Has the relationship been like slidey DMs? You complaining that... Because he hasn't talked about Crystal Palace on his numerous football platforms?
2:34 - 2:41
Yeah, yeah. I think he's very biased against the Crystal Palace agenda. So yeah, there have been some all-caps DMs that have slid in there.
2:41 - 2:51
Do you know what? It is exciting. And I suppose we have to be honest about this, that David did book you, which is good that he's finally pulled his finger out.
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Oh my God. But it is exciting that it is a guest who is aware of my existence before we begin the broadcast.
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I don't know if that'll affect things, because really, we only care about your day and what happened yesterday.
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So Chloe, let me explain what happens. We've done about 20 of these. I mean, I've booked, I'd say 17 of the people.
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And every single time when I say I've got Chloe Pets, he'll be like, yeah.
3:16 - 3:21
What does anyone think about Arsene Wenger? What does anyone think about, I'll try and get Lionel Messi for the next one.
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And nothing ever happens. To the listeners, these are iconic footballers. Max threatens to book.
3:29 - 3:36
And then just the idea just dissipates away. I'm very happy to play second fiddle to Arsene Wenger, though, is something I will say.
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I actually insist on everything that I go on that they try and book Arsene first.
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They say, could you do Strictly? And you say, have you tried Arsene Wenger? Try Arsene.
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If he says no, I'm in. Arsene on Strictly would be very good. I bet he's got some wonderful moves.
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I reckon he'd be good. Anyway, let's cut to the chase here, Chloe. What time did you wake up yesterday?
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Great question. I set my alarm for 8.30 because I had a late night the night before.
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But I think I woke up at 8.23. Oh, interesting. And then sort of drowsed, drowsily dozed rather, till the alarm went.
4:15 - 4:22
Right. Okay. So 8.23. Okay. So you had seven minutes of sort of just wild abandonment.
4:22 - 4:35
Yeah. And I'm doing that thing that I think everyone's probably doing at the start of the new year, which is I'm trying to keep my phone out of the bedroom and I've switched to an analog digital alarm clock and it makes a fucking horrible noise.
4:35 - 4:43
It just sort of screams at you. I started to sort of add a shock to my waking up, but it does kind of jolt you awake.
4:43 - 4:51
But then I'm usually I'll be reaching for my phone, but that seven minutes was just sort of free thinking time, you know, really get into the existential angst early in the day.
4:51 - 5:03
My girlfriend gets up at 7.45 and my brain, unfortunately, this hasn't always done this. Let's just say for the 25 years of my comedy career tends to wake up at 7.43.
5:03 - 5:12
Something has happened. The wires have been reset inside it. And I just find myself waking up like a rego normster with a rego job.
5:12 - 5:17
And is that regardless of what time you go to bed the night before? Yeah, pretty much.
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It's not even obeying weekends. Now I find myself. Now sometimes I can go back to sleep, put on one of my colleagues football podcasts and just doze back off again.
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But yeah, I think it is. It's starting to affect my IRL. Interesting. Okay. I'm still with the ability that when I go to bed, I can sleep exactly seven and a half hours from whenever I go to bed.
5:40 - 5:45
It's not sort of like, wow, I'm a 6am o'clock work, but I think it's pretty distinguished.
5:45 - 5:53
Like I like that your girlfriend's a normie and she still wakes up at 7.45 rather than 6.45 or 6am.
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Cause I always feel guilty about those people that done about three hours of day before I've even, been screamed at by my grandfather clock.
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Can I say as someone with a two and a half year old who has got up at 5am every day for the last three years, people going, Oh, I'm just 7.43.
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It just feels a bit. Ooh. I'm just like, honestly, like I genuinely can't imagine it.
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If Ian is still asleep at 6am, I feel like euphoria, like genuine, like I'm lying there going, this is insane.
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I don't need to be awake or asleep. I'm just floating. With the knowledge that I'm not watching Tractor Ted or playing with a train set.
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Max, is your baby called Ian? Well, Ian Rushden, he is in a way, in other ways, no, like I call him Ian, but no one else calls him Ian.
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I think it's fair to say, but I wish he was. Max, with the greatest of respect to you, and I know we need to hammer on with Chloe's day.
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He's waking up at 5.30. Are you doing something wrong? Like, do you put him to bed?
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At six o'clock in the evening? Yes, we do. Cause he's exhausted. Cause he's two and a half.
7:03 - 7:08
No, the thing is you can do so many things. You can read so many things and talk to so many people.
7:08 - 7:18
Yeah. And then they still wake up at five o'clock. I appreciate we're not really into Chloe's day yet, but like, they just don't wake up like humans.
7:18 - 7:22
You know, they don't wake up and go, Oh, I just need a minute. Maybe could you just pop the kettle on?
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They are like fucking straight in, straight in. Chloe, did you find, cause you've put your phone away.
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Now you've got this seven minutes where you just have to lie there and think.
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And obviously we all say it's really good to not have your phone on you, but actually is that seven minutes?
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Does it feel like two hours and you start to worry about things? And do you think that's kind of like, it's a bit like, you know, coming off heroin and train spotting.
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You've got to get through that bad stuff and eventually you'll, you'll feel good. Great question.
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Wow. Yeah, I hope so. I feel like, I feel like you've just sort of diagnosed the quandary of the modern man, which is like, will we ever feel good again?
8:02 - 8:11
Because like, you know, you wake up at eight 23 and you go on Instagram for seven minutes, you're going to find something that makes you anxious there.
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But like, I'm very talented at anxiety and I feel like all I have to do is sort of search the dark annals of my mind and I'll find something.
8:18 - 8:26
And at the moment it's sort of like running through my like busy day in my head and just sort of like going like, Oh, and then I need to be here.
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And then I, I need to be on that train and then I need to be doing this.
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Do you think that there is a possibility that one day I will just chill out if I just keep pushing through?
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I mean, I suppose the real truth is while you're lying there for seven minutes without your phone, no one is trying to sell you a t-shirt to make you look slightly better physical shape,
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like a dad bod t-shirt. Maybe you don't get that. So specific. So specific. That's what I get.
8:49 - 8:53
I get that. It's so funny that you've assumed that you and I have the same algorithm.
8:53 - 8:59
To be honest, Max, it's not outside the realm. It's a possibility because I do have very bad energy.
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We're consuming the same content, me and you, Max. Probably. Yeah. You know what I have learned from doing this podcast is that those people we've spoken to who have like 36 cats and they're awoken by like the sound of all the cats throwing themselves at the door.
9:18 - 9:26
In a way, I get that because it's the one way around this. Because you never get a chance to contemplate your own existence.
9:26 - 9:32
And you're straight into trying to keep all of these tiny lions alive. Do you know what I mean?
9:32 - 9:35
Oh yeah. So you think I should get 36 cats? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
9:35 - 9:44
Yeah. 36 cats. Or just like take Ian from Max or something so that I have something else to focus on that isn't myself.
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David, are you calling me selfish? What I'm seeing here, Chloe, and I just think it would fit your brand, which you get the 36 cats, you lash them together, kind of like Sir Ernest Shackleton sledding to the South Pole.
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And you travel to gigs across London using the cats as rollerblades. I like that because you've taken the sort of the trope of the lesbian with the cats and you've made it sort of bespoke to my inherent butch energy.
10:09 - 10:15
Lashing the cats with a cat of nine tails. That's possibly why they're called that.
10:15 - 10:23
Yes. Because of butch lesbians. Okay. So we get through this seven minutes, this awful seven minutes.
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And are you up then or do you decide, why are you up so early?
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Why did you set your alarm this early? I'm glad you think that that's early.
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I just had a busy day yesterday and I find that I work best in the mornings.
10:42 - 10:55
So another thing that I've implemented is what my old routine used to be. I'd wake up, make myself a coffee, make myself some breakfast and then I sort of read and maybe journal for like an hour.
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But it sounds productive. But then because of that hour where I've just sort of been like generally lounging, I found it really hard to then get to the table and start doing some work.
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So now we've pivoted it round. The reading and the journaling is a reward for, I just get up and immediately start doing some work.
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So yesterday I had to prepare for another podcast that I was going on and a radio show that I was going on.
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So I'm a bit gutted that that's the day I'm telling you about because I just just feel sort of quite inside baseball.
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It's okay. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. You're the first comedian we've had on this podcast.
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And so listeners are definitely still very interested in the lives of comedians. But unfortunately, Ali McCoy's just won't reply.
11:41 - 11:46
So like this is where we're at. Okay. So 8.30, I'm excited that we get to journaling or I hope we do.
11:46 - 11:50
So I have some journaling questions, but I'll save them for when we get to journaling.
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Okay. So 8.30, do you get up at 8.30 on the dot? No, I'm giving myself like an extra, three or four minutes after that, I'd say.
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And then it's sort of like, I don't know how to explain it, but it takes like, I have to sort of go through my day and then think of the consequences of what would happen if I don't get up immediately.
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And then that gives me like one big rush of energy. And then I use the rush to get up and go to the toilet and immediately check my phone.
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There is a bleakness to this life of comedy though, Chloe, which is that, especially if you've got, a gig, your whole day is based around this one or two hour period.
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And that's all that really matters. And so, you know, those times I'll just say, I'll just keep lying in bed.
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You're doing absolutely fine. Watch another YouTube video of the Mormon man that I like that fix up old bicycles in Utah.
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Cause it doesn't matter. Cause all that matters is that I am hilarious at 8 PM tonight.
12:50 - 12:56
So it's good that you found a way of giving equal importance to different parts of the day.
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Firstly, I think that Max and I have similar algorithms. You and I couldn't have more different algorithms.
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You can't go the Mormon man that fixes up bikes in Utah and expect us to know who that is.
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I know now. I know now. You've been hanging around this idiot for too long, Max.
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You went to the toilet and checked your phone. I get in trouble with Mrs.
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Rushden for spending too much time on the toilet while I'm on my phone. And sometimes I feel so shameful that I can't just, do a poo without looking at my phone.
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There was definitely a time when I could do that. And now I can't. How much time do you think your being on the toilet is lengthened by being on your telephone?
13:38 - 13:55
Jesus. This is one thing where actually mentally I am quite good, which is I don't get dragged into scrolling on the toilet because I'll very quickly have that moment where I'll be able to see myself from an outsider's perspective where just sort of looking down,
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trousers around my ankles, scrolling the phone. I think this is pathetic. Wow. And then I'll put the phone away.
14:01 - 14:07
So I would say like probably no more than a minute longer than whatever I've done.
14:07 - 14:14
That's very impressive. So that's why phone is a good safe space for me. And apparently that, you know, the guy who wrote that book, JIR Tolkien.
14:14 - 14:21
Yeah. Yeah. It's JIR Tolkien. Yeah. Apparently you can't go on your phone if you have to deliver a ring to a big mountain.
14:21 - 14:27
So I've made that my quest for the, to stop being on Instagram so much.
14:27 - 14:39
The word scroll. It's an interesting one because I think it was probably in heavy rotation till about maybe the sixth century.
14:39 - 14:47
I think it really died out for 1400 years and now is back with a bang.
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I think it's one of the top words of the last whatever, 10 years. So it's funny.
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Just if you're a word, don't, don't give up because you're trying to shine. Who's really sitting there.
15:04 - 15:11
I think Chevron's sitting there thinking I'm my time's going to come again. What's the word that's there?
15:11 - 15:23
Like this could be me. Good observation, David. I agree with you. I know, you know, when you're trying to edit this podcast, I'd say you skip over all the stuff that you say.
15:23 - 15:32
The nice thing about editing this, stuff I say is it's very bite-sized, very easy to remove and it's not going to come back again later in the podcast.
15:32 - 15:38
Okay, Chloe. So you've had a shit. No, I hadn't had my shit yet. I've just had a wee that time.
15:38 - 15:43
Okay, great. The shit comes after I've had my first coffee. We've been burned by this before.
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What do you mean you've been burned by this before? Since Nish Kumar episode, we decided to move away from asking people that question, but we've asked it and it's now on record.
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So it's fine. Yeah. Okay. It's been done. I don't care. I offered it up.
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It wasn't you sort of prying. It's true. Of all the things to offer up, it's the kindest thing you could offer us.
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This podcast should just be renamed. When did you shit last? What outfit did you sleep in?
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Pyjamas. Got some new pyjamas from M&S. Really nice. Oh, okay. Nice. I wear very masculine clothing.
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I like the men's pyjamas from either M&S or fat face. If they're sort of like a bit tart and on the bottom and then plain on the top and the M&S ones are,
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it's got like a sort of waffley kind of material, which I wouldn't have said for bedtime.
16:31 - 16:36
Yeah. Very rewarding. I'd recommend it to you all. A pocket? In the trousers. There's pockets.
16:36 - 16:41
Yeah. In case I need to hold my night snacks. I'll go for a late drive.
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Who needs pockets in pyjama trousers? Interesting that. I just don't think many people are shopping solely in M&S and fat face.
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As just a two. I don't imagine. That's the sort of top two choice of people.
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You're either an M&S person or a fat face person. Oh, do you reckon?
17:00 - 17:04
No, I think M&S and fat face is women in her fifties core. Really?
17:04 - 17:08
Oh, I'd never thought of that. Maybe I just don't really know enough about fat face.
17:08 - 17:14
I just presumed it was a skateboarding brand. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:14 - 17:18
It's for the elderly. No, you're thinking of more like weird fish or something like that, you know?
17:18 - 17:24
Right. Okay. Is it unfair to say that fat face is sort of outfitter to Karen's?
17:25 - 17:33
Worldwide, Chloe, do you think that's fair? Well, given that my mum largely wears fat face, I probably can't go on record and say that, but it probably is Karen adjacent.
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Yeah, okay. Maybe the enlightened Karen, you know? The Karen who knows she's a Karen and is doing the work on herself.
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Okay. Do you dress straight away? What happens? Or do you take breakfast in your M&S waffle pyjamas?
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If I want to be productive for the day, the first thing I have to do is get up and do like an hour or two of the work that I need to do for the day.
17:52 - 17:57
And I like that feeling of getting the work out the way. So that I can sort of relax into the rest of the day.
17:57 - 18:04
Because if you've got a gig in the evening, like I find from about 3 p.m. onwards, I'm not much use.
18:04 - 18:10
So I just have to sort of chill. Yeah. So I try and just top load everything while I'm feeling good.
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So yesterday morning, yeah, I got up and I did some prep for the podcast and the radio show.
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And I ate some porridge with honey and a coffee. And then I did the podcast.
18:19 - 18:29
What was that one podcast? That podcast was the Always Be Comedy podcast with James, Gil, and they were asking me about my dream standup comedy lineup.
18:29 - 18:37
I'm sorry, David, you were overlooked. And not on purpose. I just forgot about you for a second.
18:37 - 18:42
Oh dear. You were definitely on the long list. Who's on it. Come on, just quickly.
18:42 - 18:49
We don't want to redo rehash this podcast. Who's on your dream bill. Anyone who's been on our series, who was on it.
18:49 - 18:56
Let's check MC Max Rushden. No, I could do, I could do something. Whatever happened to peanuts?
18:56 - 19:04
I'm ready. I've got it. I've got it all laid out. Hi pod fans. Is Ange Pastacoglu outstaying his welcome?
19:04 - 19:11
What a weird opening to this gig. That just gave me like a little sort of like switch in the eye there.
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Max, one of my favorite linguistic tics that you do is right. That's enough for part one.
19:16 - 19:32
We'll see you after this. That'll do for part one. It's very nice. I just find that listeners, those who aren't aware of this other side of my colleague, Max, he very often ends his very popular football podcasts by saying,
19:32 - 19:38
that'll do. That'll do. Well, it seems appropriate. It seems like that's enough. Done enough now.
19:38 - 19:47
It's a good ending. Yeah. Watching the clock. There we go. My friend once booked Chuck Berry, the musician, and Chuck Berry plays for an hour.
19:47 - 20:00
He walks out on stage. And he played for 59 minutes. And in 51 minutes, 59 seconds is manager in the wings, just shot a torch on stage.
20:00 - 20:08
And Chuck had just started a song. And so it's like, thank you. Good night.
20:08 - 20:14
And just straight off. And I respect that a lot. Here's the greatest thing about booking Chuck Berry.
20:14 - 20:24
Chuck Berry, he had to be picked up in the airport in a specific Jaguar car that the promoter had to drive.
20:24 - 20:33
Chuck Berry gets into the driver's seat and drives you to the hotel. And when you get there, you have to pay Chuck Berry.
20:33 - 20:40
What a taxi would have cost. What? Chuck's come out of America in the fifties.
20:40 - 20:49
You know what I mean? Chuck has seen stuff that we can't even imagine. And if it led to stuff like this, I mean, go for it, Chuck.
20:49 - 20:53
If you love him so much, get him on the pod, David. He's no longer with us.
20:53 - 21:00
I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. That shouldn't stop us. What did you do in the afterlife yesterday?
21:00 - 21:05
Exactly. Dream big. We're going to need to get Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's. He's such a great guest.
21:05 - 21:10
Who was on your list then, Chloe? Yeah, we should sort of tie that knot off, shouldn't we?
21:10 - 21:17
We should, yeah. MC Kiri Pritchard-McLean. Yeah, great choice. Open art choice. It was either Sean McLaughlin or Lou Sanders.
21:17 - 21:23
Middle was, I wanted to do like a new up and coming comedian. So it was between.
21:23 - 21:30
David O'Doherty. It was between David O'Doherty, Sharon Wanjoey, Paddy Young and Jin Hao Lee.
21:30 - 21:35
Great. And then my close art was the amazing American comedian called Eddie Peppertone. Yeah.
21:35 - 21:43
Yeah. Unbelievable. You see what this podcast they can now learn is they can get their podcast done in 30 seconds.
21:43 - 21:58
So could you. So could most podcasts. Off menu podcasts, you could just go on and say, prawn cocktail, beef Wellington and a treacle sponge.
21:58 - 22:06
Done. See you later, boys. It's true. I think Adam and Joe did cut down deal or no deal to how long you'd actually need.
22:06 - 22:21
And it was like a nine second show. It was amazing. Okay. So you did that podcast because I think those ones podcasts where you have to prepare like my dream,
22:21 - 22:27
this whatever they're on the way down. And so like, you know, were you annoyed you had to prep for it or did you enjoy that process?
22:27 - 22:34
Do you know what? I think what I liked about it was that it was quite minimum prep.
22:34 - 22:47
It probably took me 10, 15 minutes, but I knew that they would be impressed that I turned up having done the prep because I feel like comedians are fundamentally quite lazy people that don't read the email.
22:47 - 22:54
And I wasn't going to read the email. And then that morning I was like, I'll just have a look at the email and be like, oh shit, there's prep.
22:54 - 22:57
So, I was like somewhat loads of people will have been caught out by this.
22:57 - 23:00
So I'm going to look good. So yeah, I just sort of did it with a smugness.
23:00 - 23:05
The genius of this podcast is you have to do a lot of prep for it.
23:05 - 23:14
Sorry. That is the thing about this. I would say you're reading from a script every time we get back to your day from moment to moment.
23:14 - 23:20
I had to do 24 hours of prep. Yeah, it's true. It's true. It's all prep.
23:20 - 23:25
We lumbered you with that. Okay. So you did that podcast. Then what happened? What did happen?
23:25 - 23:38
Oh, here we go. When you asked me what clothes I put on, I put on my running gear before I did the podcast, thinking that I would fit a quick run in between the podcast and the next engagement that I had.
23:38 - 23:45
But after the podcast, I felt so lethargic and tired in my body and I got a headache and I was like, I'm not going for a run.
23:45 - 23:54
And instead I called my girlfriend. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah, but hang on. We need to cover this because I feel the listeners don't realize.
23:54 - 24:06
How demanding it is on our bodies and minds recording this podcast. I think a lot of people think we just sit here in our respective sheds on opposite sides of the world,
24:06 - 24:15
just gibbering into it. But no, this I'm being a tiny bit serious. I said, I'm totally zone out after this podcast.
24:15 - 24:24
I actually agree. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think we can labor this point too much because it is a bit world's tiniest violin, but I am on sort of like the press tour.
24:24 - 24:32
For my upcoming standup tour. So every day this week, I've done at least two podcasts and it is tiring having to go through all your anecdotes.
24:32 - 24:44
Oh, this one again. Yeah, I think you're right. This will go down well with people who have to get up at 5am.
24:44 - 24:51
If they want to go to the gym before their 12 hour day, before they get home to their kids, they'll be like, yes, you're right.
24:51 - 24:58
It is tiring. You know, you must be exhausted. Sitting in your rooms and just saying, and then what did you do?
24:58 - 25:02
And after that, and then at the end, I'm like, oh my God, I chatted with my friends.
25:02 - 25:08
Have you ever booked just like a normal person for this podcast and not a national superstar?
25:08 - 25:14
Um, I mean, the great unwashed, a real actual person. That could be a good episode.
25:14 - 25:24
Oh, what a risk. You know, people like that thing goes around during the Olympics where it's like, oh, I would love to see a normal person have a go at this to see what it's actually like.
25:24 - 25:32
You know, what a normal person could expect of themselves. Maybe get a normal person on for comparison so we can hear how boring their lives are and how wonderful the glitz and glamour of ours is.
25:32 - 25:43
I'm not running out of friends yet, but I will run out of friends. Certainly after a year of this and Max will never book anyone.
25:43 - 25:48
Right. Okay. So you do that podcast. You're obviously exhausted because podcasting is an exhausted business.
25:48 - 25:53
And then you've got to prepare for a radio program as well. Blimey. What's the radio program?
25:53 - 25:59
So that, that was Frank Skinner's one person found this helpful on radio four. Right.
25:59 - 26:08
It's a panel show and it's based on funny reviews. So I had to go through a document and sort of loosely write some jokes, but it was largely improvised.
26:08 - 26:13
So that one wasn't too strenuous. And then you did that radio show or is that just prep for a show that hasn't happened yet?
26:13 - 26:20
Did the radio show. So I went into call my girlfriend, had a nap because the podcast was so strenuous.
26:20 - 26:26
I know that this isn't fun, but I was very ill. I was ill on the weekend and I hadn't quite recovered.
26:26 - 26:33
So I was like really trying to maximize my rest time. So I had a nice nap, a pre-lunchtime nap.
26:33 - 26:40
Then I made myself some lunch and then I left the house to go to the shore theater to record this radio show.
26:40 - 26:47
I mean, I laughed. I did have a two hour nap this morning. How long was your nap?
26:47 - 26:54
My nap was not as long as I wanted it to be, but probably like the good amount for, you know, your men are like have 20 minutes.
26:54 - 27:01
I set the alarm for about 30 minutes, knowing that it would take me about five to drop off and then five to do some more existential thinking.
27:01 - 27:06
Once my alarm goes, when you woke up, did you feel like someone had shot you in the face?
27:06 - 27:15
No. And this is why you should only do 20 minutes because if you go into two hours, then you feel like someone shot you in the head, but then it takes about 45 minutes.
27:15 - 27:21
Then you feel really good because of your two hour nap. But if you only have a 20 minute, then you wake up feeling energized immediately.
27:21 - 27:30
Do you guys think that when people listen to this podcast, it's like the ordinary people of France hearing tales from the court of Louis XIV.
27:30 - 27:35
You know what I mean? Do you not remember the podcast, Marie Antoinette, I'm just like you.
27:35 - 27:45
Let them nap after podcasting. Sleeping in her athleisure wear that she has never gone for a run in.
27:45 - 27:54
Okay. So the Shaw theater. Well, hang on lunch. We haven't done lunch. Lunch was, I just sort of made whatever I had in the cupboard.
27:54 - 28:06
And I had a tortilla wrap, some eggs, some avocado and some cheese. So I sort of made like a kind of omelet out of the eggs and then melted some cheese on top of it and then put some avocado on it in the wrap.
28:06 - 28:11
And then I folded the wrap up and heated it. And it was delicious, actually really delicious.
28:11 - 28:16
And an apple. The issue with that is you're going to have to slightly overcook the egg.
28:16 - 28:20
For structural integrity. Yeah. Runny eggs just going to shoot out the bottom of it.
28:20 - 28:29
I feel I did overcook it a little bit. Like I just sort of turned it, into kind of a quite solid omelette, but it didn't bother me because it was going inside a wrap.
28:29 - 28:33
If it had been egg on toast, then I would have done a perfectly scrambled egg.
28:33 - 28:38
But on this occasion, it was more about structural integrity for me. Thank you for your question.
28:38 - 28:44
Where you work with eggs is very much out of sight, out of mind. If you can't see the egg, you couldn't care less.
28:44 - 28:50
You could make it like solid, totally burnt. Yeah. If I can't see it, I'll cook it till it's rubber.
28:50 - 28:56
Fine. I like that approach to eggs. No, no, no, no, no. The truth with eggs is, oh, here we go.
28:56 - 29:09
The truth about eggs. If you've got a bagel or something that's thick, you need a runny egg to then try and infiltrate the bread to soften it up a bit.
29:09 - 29:20
So you're not just eating a cushion. Whereas with the tortilla, and I apologize to our Mexican listeners for Chloe being so disrespectful to your national bread.
29:20 - 29:27
You've got to keep it solid or otherwise, it's going to shoot down and land on your athleisure wear.
29:27 - 29:32
David, your worry about the tortilla surely could be saved by just doing the sort of fold.
29:32 - 29:39
If you have your round tortilla, then you fold up the bottom and then you fold the left and the right side over one another.
29:39 - 29:44
You will then catch even the runniest of eggs. I would suggest. That is true.
29:44 - 29:55
That's interesting. Yeah. I've got good at wrapping the wrap because I just really intently watch the people in Chipotle and I've observed their technique for quite a long time and I'm now able to replicate it quite accurately.
29:55 - 29:57
Did you have any sauce with that? It was just the egg, the cheese and the avocado.
29:57 - 30:05
Still, I'm happy with that. The egg will do it. Egg will do it. I'm going to get in trouble again because the sauce that I used was.
30:05 - 30:10
A pint of Guinness. You poured a pint of Guinness over it. Was it Branson pickle chunky?
30:10 - 30:16
No, it wasn't Branson pickle chunky, nor did I use Guinness as like a birria style dipping sauce.
30:16 - 30:21
That is not what I did. It's probably worse in some ways. I used the Nando's like Perenese.
30:21 - 30:27
Oh yeah, that's okay. It was really, delicious. Yeah, that's a good lunch. I think it's a really good lunch.
30:27 - 30:40
Whenever I see that written down, which isn't often, my mind goes to Perineum, the area just under the gooch there, which, yeah, so it does sound like an ointment that you use for it.
30:40 - 30:47
Oh, it kind of does. I think it would probably be quite soothing if you had something wrong with your Perineum.
30:47 - 30:54
It's not too spicy. Doesn't it come in different levels of spice? I mean, what is it depending on the inflammation or is that the, the peri peri?
30:54 - 31:06
No, no, no. You can get it in different spice levels. Yeah. So what I'm seeing here is a hot ones, Jill, that YouTube series, but instead of trying different levels of wings,
31:06 - 31:16
we flip the guest over and just rub different spice levels of Perineus onto their bum hole.
31:16 - 31:21
It says a lot about you that you were the one that wants to administer the Nando source.
31:21 - 31:30
Like if I was hosting that, I would, I'd be recommending that they self administer the source, but you're like, I want to go straight to the gooch myself.
31:30 - 31:36
When we pitched this show to big executives, when, you know, we're sat together. Yeah.
31:36 - 31:41
I'm, you know, I'm there, but then David says, and here's the thing. And then I administer.
31:41 - 31:46
This is the moment. That's when they all go, actually, this has got something. This has got legs guys.
31:46 - 31:51
So you could book Arsene Wenger for that one, Max. Most certainly. He'd be getting a guest run.
31:51 - 31:57
More like Arse Up Wenger. Oh, really? Very good. Thank you. I'm seeing for that people like Malala.
31:57 - 32:10
Do you know, like real Nobel prize winners. We asked them really serious stuff, but it is mitigated by the fact that I am rubbing Nando's sauce on their gooch.
32:10 - 32:19
Okay. Hasn't she been through enough? Some serious political figures. JD Vance, welcome to Peronise on your Peroneum.
32:19 - 32:29
Ed Balls. He'd be a good boy. Anyway, sorry. You've had your lunch, which I think we've done enough on the lunch, I believe.
32:29 - 32:31
And I won't be able to eat that one again after all of that. So thank you.
32:31 - 32:39
And then we leave the house. How do we get from your house to the theater to do the radio program?
32:39 - 32:48
We do the overground. Then we do the underground. And because I was feeling a little bit tired, a little bit out of it, usually in transit, I would read my book.
32:48 - 32:53
But on this occasion, I was like, do you know what? Just give yourself a little bit of time for a bit more.
32:53 - 33:01
They're an interspace, a bit more existentialism. Chloe, is this a new year's resolution? This is part of new year's resolutions past that has actually stuck.
33:01 - 33:06
But what do you mean? Like more sort of like mindfulness, like staring into space or more reading?
33:06 - 33:20
More like my new year's resolutions. I have stuck to them so far. I mean, they're mostly very practical things like stop sleeping with your arms under the pillow because I was waking up with sore shoulders.
33:20 - 33:33
It has stuck so far. And I could imagine something like while you're on the train, just give a moment to yourself or even don't listen to mindless podcasts.
33:33 - 33:42
Oh no, I've just realized where I am saying this. Listen to music instead. Listeners, turn this off and listen to the carpenters.
33:42 - 33:48
I think what you've identified there is one of the things that I'm trying to be more mindful about this year is I spent so much time.
33:48 - 33:55
Well, I spent a month in Melbourne, your hometown, Max, before Christmas, Christmas and the pace of life.
33:55 - 34:03
There is so much more chill because you know, there's a lot more space and there's a lot less people and the food's good, blah, blah, blah, all this kind of stuff.
34:03 - 34:10
But I was sort of trying to think about ways that I could bring that calm energy back to London.
34:10 - 34:20
And one of the things that I'm trying to do is like, I get so Aggie on public transport because you're just like crammed in and there's a bunch of people and no one's really thinking about each other and
34:20 - 34:28
they're knocking you blah, blah, blah. And I think one of the things, that worsens that is when I have a podcast in or when I have music in, I'm not as alert.
34:28 - 34:35
If someone knocks me, my fight or flight goes up a bit because I'm not sort of like, you know, present in the moment knowing what's going on.
34:35 - 34:45
So in those sort of like transitory moments where you're sort of going from the overground to underground, I'm trying to sort of unplug and just be a bit more like this is usually stressful to me.
34:45 - 35:02
So let's breathe through it. Do you notice this Max, when you leave the tranquil babe, like idle, of Melbourne and return to London, babe in the city, do you notice an uptick in your stress levels?
35:02 - 35:08
I was really lucky in London that everywhere I worked was just like a 10 minute cycle away and I never worked at rush hour.
35:08 - 35:14
So I never had to commute like ever. And even when I worked at sky, it was like I would drive at a weird time on a Friday and Saturday morning.
35:14 - 35:23
So actually I never was part of that. And I think that is a sort of life changing privilege and lucky, you know, to have that.
35:24 - 35:28
But I remember when we moved here, the first time we came back was about a year later.
35:28 - 35:36
And I remember going out in London in like Soho that evening and just going, where are all these people going?
35:36 - 35:41
There are so many people. This is totally insane. I hadn't noticed it being in London just for 20 years.
35:41 - 35:50
And then I remember like the next morning we were like pushing young Ian and he must've been like two months old in a pram and around old street roundabout.
35:50 - 35:55
And we bumped into someone and they just went, Oh fuck off. And you were just, it was like, I miss this energy.
35:55 - 36:04
Like it was just like, yeah, yeah. You don't get that. And it is strange, but like I miss it, but I don't miss the hecticness of it is, but as you know,
36:04 - 36:13
I'm a pretty high octane guy. You are. I'm trying to bring like road rage and like visceral anger on public transport to Melbourne.
36:13 - 36:18
That's what I see is my, my duty. Do you know that what there's not enough of in Melbourne is wanker signs.
36:18 - 36:28
Yeah. I don't see it enough. I went to see the Matildas play and I was thinking, I was thinking there's an eight year old over there that supports the opposing team and no one's given them a wanker sign.
36:28 - 36:32
What's going on? So I would like to bring a bit of rowdiness over to Melbourne with you.
36:32 - 36:37
Drag them down to our level rather than bring ourselves up to theirs. Yeah. I totally agree.
36:37 - 36:47
Okay. So you mindfully make your way to this Frank Skinner theater. Yeah, absolutely. It's funny because you've caught me in a week where I'm like trying to be calm and peaceful.
36:47 - 36:53
But if you get me in a month, I'll be like, yeah, I made it to the Frank Skinner theater by elbowing a toddler out of the way.
36:53 - 37:04
Drop kicked an old lady up the stairs. But yeah, it was mindful yesterday. And then it was nice because it was my first sort of big work thing back after the new year.
37:04 - 37:10
And it was with a bunch of other comedians and we all sort of went through the script and did a bit of a writer's room of the script.
37:10 - 37:15
And it was just nice to, you know, have a bit of a catch up and be around some of your colleagues, you know, what time is this?
37:15 - 37:21
Oh, this is 3 PM. Okay. And what time is the record at then? Presumably six o'clock.
37:21 - 37:25
No, it was at seven 30. So, I will say, I think they got us in a little bit early.
37:25 - 37:35
Yeah. I had a lovely time. It was a lovely day out and I'm very grateful that I got to be there, but I would say that I did have to spend a bit of time in Leon again,
37:35 - 37:40
staring into space. Good choice. Okay. So we've done the writer's room first. Who's on this panel?
37:40 - 37:49
Lou Sanders, Arsene Wenger, Barry Glendenning. No, it was Lou Sanders, Marcus Brigstocke and Ian Smith.
37:49 - 37:54
Wow. Are there writers there as well as you guys? Cause, this is one thing I always find.
37:54 - 38:05
If I say something funny, I'm pleased with it. If someone else has written something and it never happens really, but like if say the producer, producer Joel of the pod of Football Weekly put something in the script,
38:05 - 38:12
I'll always credit him. I can never use someone else's line and say it as if it's my own.
38:12 - 38:20
Just feels inherently wrong to me. But obviously I'm not, I am trying to be funny, you know, like it's not part of the job description.
38:20 - 38:23
Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you have to remember that.
38:23 - 38:28
You're the one that's possessed the pizzazz and the charisma to go on the airways and communicate it to the world.
38:28 - 38:35
The way I try and mitigate against that feeling, I only do stuff that like the idea is either come from me or both of us.
38:35 - 38:40
And it's like a punch on what you've said rather than like a totally original idea.
38:40 - 38:51
Yeah. I don't know what you think, David. Like there's a bit like artists, obviously like when you go to a gallery and there's like some massive installation by Grayson Perry,
38:51 - 38:58
Grayson Perry. There you go. A Y, Y is it a Y, Y. And you know, it's like enormous bronze thing, the size of the turbine hole.
38:58 - 39:02
They haven't done all of it. Right. But I still think they should have done all of it.
39:02 - 39:08
When I did art at school, it was shit, but I did it all. You know?
39:08 - 39:14
I mean, firstly, I'm still reeling from Chloe saying that you bring pizzazz to your work.
39:14 - 39:22
I think it's the first time that that word has ever been associated with you, Max, but I don't mind any of that.
39:22 - 39:30
I mean, look, we do this and then Mars bar, our producer takes out some of the dead ends for it.
39:30 - 39:38
And so if you think this episode is a dud, imagine the stuff that he has left on the cutting room floor is what I'm saying.
39:38 - 39:46
Especially with a radio for show. It's when you hear them on the radio, they're so tight and it's like joke, joke, joke, joke.
39:46 - 39:57
I don't really care how the sausage is made that much. I mean, if it's your own solo show and you're, you're relating episodes from your life, I do feel that that's something you should write yourself.
39:57 - 40:02
But if it's for some other medium, I don't mind. I don't mind at all.
40:02 - 40:18
Yeah. No, I mean, I can see that you can't bring the buzzer and say, well, in the meeting at three, Dave said this, Chloe, sometimes those radio for records can be full of old people,
40:18 - 40:29
whatever way the ticketing operates with radio for in particular. And then you have, you've written all these sensational jokes and they're all like, what the hell is an Alexa?
40:29 - 40:35
It is one of those audiences where like, you kind of feel lucky if everyone's just made it through till the end.
40:35 - 40:40
So that's kind of the barometer by which I judge it by is like, is everyone still alive?
40:40 - 40:51
Good. Okay. It was a good show. I hosted a quiz show on BT sport once where we had to stop recording because one of the audiences was falling asleep and was snoring so loudly.
40:53 - 40:58
I love that. I love it when an audience member falls asleep. I really do.
40:58 - 41:03
I did a gig in Melbourne and I could see from backstage that a woman had fallen asleep.
41:03 - 41:10
And then I walked out and honestly, the audience was absolutely dreadful. And I told him and they went, no, we're not.
41:10 - 41:14
And I went, one of you is fucking asleep. And she denied it. And she was like, I wasn't asleep.
41:14 - 41:25
I wasn't asleep. And I was like, I have a one minute video of you from backstage, which I then played to the audience the whole, the duration didn't do one joke,
41:25 - 41:32
but it got going again. So that's good. My dad is a still gigging 86 year old jazz musician.
41:32 - 41:38
I mean, in his situation, not everyone likes jazz and he sort of realizes that.
41:38 - 41:52
So sometimes you're looking out at an audience and they're a mixed bunch. He's obsessed with people who feel like afterwards they have to say something positive and they clearly haven't enjoyed it because you could see their face during it.
41:53 - 41:57
And two of the best ones are firstly, how do you remember all of that?
41:57 - 42:06
When people give that to you as a compliment and the other is, ah, there was people beside us and they were absolutely loving it.
42:06 - 42:18
And I like it. It's honest. The thing about a radio for record, particularly with that group, you're unlikely to just go on the RAS afterwards.
42:18 - 42:25
Yeah. It's not a big RAS group. We sat in the dressing room and we chatted for a bit and, Marcus Brigstuck is a very intelligent man.
42:25 - 42:29
So it was nice sort of listen to him. Was he covered in blackberries? Out of interest.
42:29 - 42:38
We had him on this podcast. We alleged he'd done a murder and covered it up by saying there was blackberries instead of blood.
42:38 - 42:43
That's what that backdrop is. Thank you for doing a callback from another episode at me.
42:43 - 42:52
He was not covered in blackberries. And as far as I'm aware, all of the elderly did make it through to the end of Marcus.
42:53 - 42:55
I hadn't murdered any single one of them, but should we chat for a bit?
42:55 - 43:00
And then I went off to Leon. Oh no, not in France, the chain restaurant in London.
43:00 - 43:08
See, we don't have it in Ireland. So my immediate thought there was you'd fired up the pets chopper, which is on the roof of the show theater.
43:08 - 43:12
And you're like, take me to France. I mean, the show theater is quite near King's crust.
43:12 - 43:22
So I could have like nipped over and back. I reckon in time. Yeah, but no, I went to Leon Elio and which for me personally, as someone who has to kind of eat on the go a lot,
43:23 - 43:27
I think Leon is one of the best ones because it's tasty, but you could also get a healthy option.
43:27 - 43:32
Yeah. The chicken nuggets are excellent. Chicken nuggets are so good. Aren't they? What did you go for?
43:32 - 43:37
So I've given up being vegetarian. So I had a chicken salad and some chicken nuggets.
43:37 - 43:46
Chicken two ways. Can we just touch on that for a second, Chloe? What was the factor?
43:46 - 43:52
Did you get drunk one night and just eat a burrito? No, don't drag me back into this Mexican discord.
43:52 - 44:04
Of course, again, David, I don't know what it was like. I think because I was on tour so much last year, I just got so bored of the vegetarian options and I don't think I was getting enough protein.
44:04 - 44:08
So I've pivoted back to chicken, but I'm still largely off the red meats. Okay.
44:08 - 44:19
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44:19 - 44:25
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44:25 - 44:32
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44:32 - 44:38
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44:38 - 44:47
So have we powered out the recording now? No, no, no. So I'm eating a chicken salad and some chicken nuggets.
44:47 - 44:52
I'm reading the book heartburn by Nora Ephron. Have you guys read it? It's so good.
44:52 - 44:57
No, I haven't read it. I would like to read that. Yeah. I would recommend this bloody brilliant.
44:57 - 45:01
She's amazing. She's just so funny. Yeah. And she's done so much incredible work. Yeah.
45:01 - 45:11
I think I read one book last year. What was it? It was Thursday murder club and it took me, I mean, Richard listens and it's really good, but it just took me,
45:11 - 45:16
I've just got a young child. I'm just, you know, you should read it in two days or three days.
45:16 - 45:21
Right. And I really wanted to know what was happening, but I was just so tired.
45:21 - 45:27
So when I got into bed, I don't think he'll be offended if it was the one book you read last year, then surely that's a lovely compliment.
45:27 - 45:31
Yeah, maybe, but I think he would be offended that it took me a year because it's a page Turner.
45:31 - 45:36
I don't think Grisham is going, I want something to eke this out for 12 months.
45:36 - 45:43
Something I really, we sort of touched on this on the midweek one the other day, David, that I know nothing.
45:43 - 45:51
Like I don't know it. Oh no, not this again. It's so funny. Like I should know stuff.
45:51 - 45:59
You know about football though. It does. People don't give it enough credit. Like people are like, Oh, you should know about music or like books or something.
45:59 - 46:02
It's like knowing about football is a cool discipline to know shit about. That's true.
46:02 - 46:07
But that's like my job, isn't it? What are my other interests? I'd like to be seen as urbane.
46:07 - 46:19
Yeah. If I died and there was like a small amount of time somewhere devoted to me, you know, and they would say, you know, they would do a talking head and I don't think I'm at talking heads level of if I died,
46:19 - 46:23
but you know, people would go the urbane broadcaster. That's what, that's what I want.
46:23 - 46:27
I don't even really know what urbane means, but I'd like to be known as urbane.
46:27 - 46:30
You started out doing soccer AM. I don't think that's going to happen for you.
46:30 - 46:41
I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. I think your moment's passed. Max, if, and God forbid, something did awful did happen to you.
46:41 - 46:50
Do you think on sports personality of the year, the big BBC annual showcase, when they do people we lost this year, 100% he would be on it.
46:50 - 46:56
100% he would. Soft focus, black and white heads come up and occasionally you'll see a goal.
46:56 - 47:01
If it's a footballer or a, you know, a gymnastics routine from the seventies. Will I make it?
47:01 - 47:06
Do you think there'll be on a slow-mo of you on soccer AM just playing your clarinet?
47:06 - 47:12
Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. I don't know. I'd like to think maybe I would.
47:12 - 47:17
I don't want to try it to find out. I mean, I don't know if we could check with whoever produces it.
47:17 - 47:29
I'd like to know, would I make that? Well, me and Chloe, you know, I'm not saying we have considerable social media platforms, but if we did just did a solemn,
47:29 - 47:33
so sorry to hear about the passing of Max Rushden, you know what I mean?
47:33 - 47:42
And then we just sit back and see what comes in. If you wanted it to look realistic, then I could draw a chalk outline of a body and crush some blueberries around it.
47:42 - 47:51
With respect, Max, I wouldn't say you're one of those people that the times have a ready to go obituary.
47:51 - 48:07
An obit, ready. Within Ireland, the paper of record here is the Irish times. And in a review, they once described me as a national treasure, but I had two shows on the go at the time.
48:07 - 48:13
And four days later they reviewed my other show and they said, he's not everyone's cup of tea.
48:13 - 48:18
So I occupy a space somewhere between those. Would you get on the front page of that?
48:18 - 48:29
If you were hit by a bus today, would it be a front page? Maybe on a slow news day, I would say if not much else had happened, Chloe, do you think if the worst happened to you,
48:29 - 48:33
would you get a mention in a crystal palace? You'd get a mention in a program, wouldn't you?
48:33 - 48:38
100%. Would they applaud in the, how old are you, Chloe? If that's not a rude question.
48:38 - 48:43
31. Would they clap in the 31st minute? You'd get a whole minute of applause. Yeah, I reckon so.
48:43 - 48:47
That's so his part. Really good. But we usually start quite slowly in a palace.
48:47 - 48:57
So I think it would be quite a short live. Followed by some groans. Palace are 4-0 down against Bournemouth and everyone.
48:57 - 49:06
There was a half-hearted round of applause in the 31st minute. Oh. Yeah, there's no way that I would like to be attributed more than someone going, oh, fuck off the Teta.
49:06 - 49:15
Yeah, exactly. Hold it. Hold it. Let it make it stick. Jean-Philippe. It's nice to speculate, isn't it?
49:15 - 49:24
Would you carry on this pod, David? Because we're doing this for life. Are we doing it for as long as we, one of us is alive, or do we, do we knock it on the head when one dies?
49:24 - 49:29
Oh, interesting. Ironically, James Richardson would take over from you. Yeah, he would. Or Lovejoy.
49:29 - 49:35
It'd be Tim Lovejoy and David O'Doherty. Do you know what I'd do? I'd do a really solemn solo one.
49:35 - 49:42
Yeah. You know what I mean? And... Of the funeral, of the funeral. What did I do yesterday?
49:42 - 49:51
It was the funeral. Oh, God. We have booked some guests for the forthcoming month.
49:51 - 49:56
You know what I mean? So maybe just solemnly, I would carry out the rest of the diary.
49:56 - 50:04
Just me and Joanne McNally, and I just keep bursting into tears midway through it.
50:04 - 50:09
Maybe some organ music in the, just piped into the background. Yeah. Okay. So you've come back from Lyon.
50:09 - 50:16
You've done the record. Done the record. I've never done a panel show. At the end of it, you go, Sandals was better than me, but I was better than Brigstock.
50:16 - 50:26
Or are you, is it a more collaborative affair? Do you know what? Like, I do, I think that probably does creep into your thinking, but I think last night we just made a nice show together.
50:26 - 50:32
So I'm not too fussed about it. It's one of those things where I've got quite good at like, when I'm in it, I'm like, Oh, this could be going better.
50:32 - 50:38
And then afterwards I just sort of go like quite smooth brain. And I'm just like, I'm never going to think about that again.
50:38 - 50:47
The weirdest part is always at the end, particularly in sort of improvised ones where you're not necessarily delivering killer jokes.
50:47 - 50:52
You will have said something funny, but you splattered into the mic, as you said, at it.
50:52 - 51:04
So a disembodied voice comes over the PA and the theater in front of all these people in the audience and says, David, when you said perineum, can you say it,
51:04 - 51:12
but a bit more shocked and the theater goes quiet and I have to be like perineum and it's like, all right, we got it.
51:12 - 51:21
Yeah. And they seamlessly drop it in, but it's too much to have all those people see this particular aspect of the sausage manufacturing.
51:21 - 51:28
Yeah. But I just also think like, you know, it was 500 elderly people. I'm probably never going to see them again.
51:28 - 51:31
They probably won't come to my tour show. So no, they were very sweet audience.
51:31 - 51:36
I must place it on record. They were very nice people. And then at the end, what you all just coats on, say, see you later.
51:36 - 51:46
And then toddle off home. Yeah. I stayed for the duration of the interval because the only way out was to walk through the foyer with the elderly and I didn't want to face them.
51:46 - 51:52
So I stayed there for about 20 minutes and then I left and I walked home, which was, lovely.
51:52 - 51:58
That's nice. Really nice. I've been trying to walk around a bit more. Question. You had Brickstock and Lou Sanders on.
51:58 - 52:08
Did you ask either of them? What's it like going on that podcast? I'm afraid to say, I didn't say what was it like going on that podcast.
52:08 - 52:19
I didn't know that they'd been on this podcast. I'm sorry. I wish I said to Marcus, Hey, anything that I should know about in case any callbacks from your episode come up.
52:19 - 52:26
Oh, that's, that's a nice walk home because it's, you know, it's crisp winter time, isn't it?
52:26 - 52:36
In London at the moment. It was really nice. Yeah. I don't know. It just feels very, very soothing to sort of stomp across London and feel like you're getting a bit of exercise into your body.
52:36 - 52:44
Was it slippy? It wasn't slippy. Have you ever read any sort of like Wilkie Collins or, well, you haven't read a book, Max.
52:44 - 52:58
No, I haven't. But he was a contemporary of Charles Dickens and like, loads of bits of his books are like, and then the protagonist, he'll obviously name the protagonist.
52:58 - 53:04
He won't say the protagonist. And then the protagonist walked from Wandsworth to Hampstead. Yeah.
53:04 - 53:10
And he'll sort of give like a few details of like this beautiful sort of bracing walk across the Heath.
53:10 - 53:16
And whenever I walk across London, I just feel like sort of like a less interesting character in a Wilkie Collins novel.
53:16 - 53:21
Do you dress in a sort of Dickensian? Are you dressed as a chimney sweep?
53:21 - 53:29
Yeah. Like an over, coat and top hat. Really good. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking like a distinguished gentleman and you went straight in with chimney sweep.
53:29 - 53:38
Cheers, Max. I thought I had a cane, but instead I've just got a big stick to stick up a chimney.
53:38 - 53:47
You're covered in soot, Chloe. I'm afraid. Occasionally pulling an eel out of your pocket and eating another few inches of it.
53:47 - 53:56
The Victorian equivalent of a jelly snake is, did you go music for this walk?
53:56 - 54:02
If so, what music did you choose for walking across London in a crisp winter night?
54:02 - 54:06
Well, I'm sorry to say I have to go even more inside baseball, which is tonight.
54:06 - 54:15
I am appearing on Hugh Stevens is round table on six music. So I had to listen to all of the music that I need to listen to, to go on that.
54:15 - 54:24
So I was listening to like a playlist of like mogwai Japanese breakfast, squid, some bands like that.
54:24 - 54:31
It was pretty cool. I enjoyed it. And then I listened to an episode of round table so that I could, you know, be up on the tone and style of the program.
54:31 - 54:35
I'm sorry. I didn't do that for this. It's okay. We'll be surprised you to know this, David.
54:35 - 54:42
I went on the round table when Steve Lamac hosted it. Wow. Because I haven't listened to a new piece of music since 1996.
54:42 - 54:51
Top loader. So this must've been maybe 2009, 10. And I didn't know that some of the beach boys were still alive.
54:52 - 54:56
And because I never listened to music, I had like listened to the, it was like a Frank Turner thing.
54:56 - 55:05
Peter Gabriel had done a new album. They happened to be the only songs I listened to for about three years because I downloaded them.
55:05 - 55:10
I really stuck to these songs. I was definitely like massively out of my depth.
55:10 - 55:18
I would say on six musics round table. Thanks for that. Nice little pep talk there, Max set me up lovely for tonight.
55:18 - 55:22
You'll know what you're talking about. I don't know about that. Okay. So that's a, nice walk.
55:22 - 55:26
Yeah. How long is this walk? Took me about an hour and 20, even though I just live in Dublin.
55:26 - 55:42
I've spent a lot of time in London. I have it in my mind. You know, I'm imagining crunch of the frost under your hobnail boots that you wear when you're doing the chimneys as you walk across the park.
55:42 - 55:47
You know what I mean? Various characters. Yeah. It was very atmospheric. Yeah. Really nice.
55:47 - 55:54
Okay, great. And do you feel good when you get home then? Do you feel like, you've burned a few calories today as well?
55:54 - 56:00
Yeah, I felt really good actually. I think because my week is so busy, I'm trying to make my exercise more incidental.
56:00 - 56:08
Also because my week is quite busy, my brain's been rushing a little bit and I feel like doing a bit of exercise just before bedtime really helps you nod off eventually.
56:08 - 56:13
Did you love the walk? And then about 20 minutes ago, you're like, Oh, this is, I hate this.
56:13 - 56:20
Yeah, not, I know exactly that feeling where you're like, for fuck's sake, I'm just going to jump on the bus for the last bit.
56:20 - 56:26
Well, actually, I called my girlfriend again for the last 20 minutes. So I gave myself a bit of a rush, you know, it helped me.
56:26 - 56:31
So nine o'clock at night there is what time is she having her lunch then?
56:31 - 56:33
I don't think we actually said this on the podcast. Maybe we said this before.
56:33 - 56:36
She's in Melbourne. Yeah. She just woke it up and she was having her breakfast.
56:36 - 56:42
Actually, I called her and she was listening to me on another podcast that I did earlier this week.
56:42 - 56:48
It's fucking boring. No, this is a very good podcast. This is a great podcast.
56:48 - 56:51
This has been one of my favorite of the week is what I will say.
56:51 - 57:06
Tough. Top 20. The top 20 podcasts of the week. I feel like I'm doing long distance is a bit like doing this podcast because like there's only so much you can say to each other over the phone.
57:06 - 57:14
So it does become a bit like, yeah, I woke up at eight 23 and then I lay in bed for seven minutes and then I did a bit of work and then I called you.
57:14 - 57:23
And then it does feel like you just sort of catalog your day in quite minute detail with some whimsical little turnoffs where, we talk about cats and carts.
57:23 - 57:29
It's worth pointing out that Chloe is actually having an affair with my wife and I think I've been pretty cool about it.
57:29 - 57:37
I've tried to stay professional for the whole episode because obviously, you know, what a way to find out.
57:37 - 57:44
Yeah, I knew, but I care about the podcast more. You know, I've got nothing to salvage my relationship.
57:44 - 57:51
So that's why I've played it. Letters. Imagine if I came onto the podcast to out myself as a bit like what I did yesterday was shake your wife.
57:52 - 57:59
Imagine it would be very different. Now you've said it in such sort of 442 crude terms.
57:59 - 58:05
I'm just wondering how my wife, you don't like it as much. Do you know?
58:05 - 58:22
It doesn't sound quite as funny as when I thought of it. My question is obviously when you got back home, you needed to do a wee, but did you keep the conversation going with your boo while doing covert ly doing the wee?
58:22 - 58:32
That's my question. You know, that is a very insightful, perceptive question, David. And actually what happened is I was going, Oh, I've just got home.
58:32 - 58:35
I'm going to piss myself. And she went, okay, I'll say goodbye to you then.
58:35 - 58:41
And I was like, no, no, come with me. I did my piss whilst we were on the phone so that I could then concentrate on saying a proper goodbye.
58:41 - 58:49
Oh, it's so nice. Well, I think some people will be horrified by it, but I absolutely love that.
58:49 - 58:55
The reception used to drop a little bit, in the bathroom, which I would use to my advantage.
58:55 - 59:01
Then if I was going to the loo a little too loud, they'd be like, what's that sound?
59:01 - 59:07
And I'd be like, Oh, the reception's not great in the bathroom. And you could normally play it off if the person necessarily didn't want to hear that.
59:07 - 59:14
That's what you had been doing. Yeah. Really nice. Really nice. And then from there, do you just brush teeth, go to bed?
59:14 - 59:18
What's that mean? Do you watch a bit of telly? The telly has not been on all day.
59:18 - 59:23
It's exciting. Well, what I'm going to tell you is this. We, we don't have a telly in my flat.
59:23 - 59:31
It's because my flatmate doesn't like clutter. You're going to get bullied at school. Oh no.
59:31 - 59:38
I've got a laptop though, so I can watch all the big brother reruns. So I don't get bullied at school, but actually, yeah, I didn't fit any telly in yesterday.
59:38 - 59:50
No, I tried as part of the new kind of new year's manifesto. I immediately, as soon as I hung up from Eve, I put my phone on airplane mode, put it in the spot where I put it.
59:50 - 59:55
So I can't touch it again. And then I went into my bedroom and I read some more heartburn.
59:55 - 1:00:00
Have you done any journaling? No journaling actually. Should we talk about it? What would you like to say about journaling?
1:00:00 - 1:00:04
Well, you said you journaled an hour a day, not an hour a day, 20 minutes a day.
1:00:04 - 1:00:12
I was wondering how much of that do you just like doodle pictures? Well, I find I just write a load of bullshit.
1:00:12 - 1:00:25
Like, because if you read the diaries of Virginia Woolf or Sylvia Plath, they're writing like all of these, beautiful sort of like floral observations of their day.
1:00:25 - 1:00:28
And I'm like, how the, like, that's the stuff I would say for the novel.
1:00:28 - 1:00:36
Like my journaling is just drivel. I wouldn't mind anyone reading it because they'd be like, this is unreadable.
1:00:36 - 1:00:48
Do you think it might be released one day though? I definitely think about in the context of like when Seamus Heaney dies, the poet, all of his life's papers are in like a cardboard box.
1:00:48 - 1:01:00
Whereas I have all these MSN conversations, where I was trying to chat people up in 1998 and will they all be printed out and put in binders along with all of my journaling,
1:01:00 - 1:01:07
you know, and drawings of prototypes of new bicycles, stuff like that. Does it cross your mind that people might ever see this?
1:01:07 - 1:01:14
It used to, but not anymore because I feel like you can't write for an audience when you're like writing in your journal.
1:01:14 - 1:01:21
So I try and just write whatever. But there is also a part of me where if I write something really awful, then I will do like an addendum, which is sort of,
1:01:21 - 1:01:30
like, Hey, if anyone is actually reading this, like I'm not actually batshit. I don't actually want anyone to die.
1:01:30 - 1:01:38
Like that's, it's all good. Do you read it back then? Well, with the sort of the thing that they say in the artist way is that you're not meant to read back your,
1:01:38 - 1:01:51
what they call morning pages. But sometimes I do. And sometimes it's quite funny. For example, like my girlfriend was like, we were talking about when we first sort of like realized we wanted to like go on a date or something.
1:01:51 - 1:02:00
And I was like, I can't really remember when that was. And then I turned to by accident to like the day after I met her and like I'd written about her and I was like,
1:02:00 - 1:02:06
Oh, that's quite sweet that I could see that she was on my mind at that point when I sort of hadn't remembered those moments.
1:02:06 - 1:02:09
Do you know what I mean? That's nice, isn't it? Yeah. As a sort of record.
1:02:09 - 1:02:21
I mean, it's not the same, but the photos on your phone are quite interesting because you can go back to a day that you met someone and you won't necessarily have taken a photograph of the first time you met someone,
1:02:21 - 1:02:29
but there may be a couple of pictures of a walk you did or a bike ride or a shop with a funny font outside it or whatever it is.
1:02:29 - 1:02:34
And that might be enough to bring back some other emotions associated with that person.
1:02:34 - 1:02:40
You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you know when they put a piano montage together, you know, someday on your phone?
1:02:40 - 1:02:52
Oh God. Yeah. A few years ago I got hives and I had really bad, like rash on the sides of my body and then like six, six months later my phone said,
1:02:52 - 1:03:05
you know, remembering July the 19th, it was just like a slow-mo going from one photo to another of this, this rash, like just like going across my entire torso.
1:03:05 - 1:03:14
They actually made it seem sort of quite romantic in a way. Romantic. Yeah. That's the one that they can use for your tribute and sports personality.
1:03:14 - 1:03:19
If they ever need it. Cause you know that it works over serious piano now.
1:03:19 - 1:03:26
Totally right. So you're lying. We're in bed. We're reading the book. And then do you just let sleep come upon you?
1:03:26 - 1:03:30
Or is there a point where you finish a chapter and you're like, now I'll try to get to sleep.
1:03:30 - 1:03:34
I always try and get to the end of a chapter, but sometimes you're too sleepy for that.
1:03:34 - 1:03:39
But I really don't wish to sound morbid, but my bed is where my anxious thoughts creep in.
1:03:39 - 1:03:46
So what I try and do is just, I read and read and read until I am like on the edge of sleep.
1:03:46 - 1:03:49
And then I just put the book on the floor, roll over and off I go.
1:03:49 - 1:03:54
And what time is that? I would, I would approximate that that was about 1130 last night.
1:03:54 - 1:03:58
It always feels good when it's before midnight. You always feel like, Oh, I'm going to get a proper sleep.
1:03:58 - 1:04:05
I was worried that Chloe was going to say, Max, I read my book for a while and then I did another two podcasts.
1:04:05 - 1:04:16
But thankfully the one was enough plus a radio show. Then we've slotted in neatly here.
1:04:16 - 1:04:19
I think it's a good day. Yeah. It feels like a good day to me.
1:04:19 - 1:04:35
Do you rate the days? Well, probably you shouldn't, but I feel these episodes will kind of be interesting in the same way that we were talking about reading back an old journal or looking at old photographs
1:04:35 - 1:04:44
in 10 years time when this was just a period in your life before you became the new host of deal or no deal or whatever.
1:04:44 - 1:04:53
You will have forgotten what a day actually involved and you'll be able to listen back to this and go, Oh, that's what my life was like then.
1:04:53 - 1:05:04
And I think you'll think that sounds pretty good. I mean, bubbling under the surface is obviously the fact that you can never be alone with your own thoughts, but apart from that,
1:05:04 - 1:05:12
no, but like the walk across London, I don't want to go into my favorite parts of this episode, but that really took me somewhere.
1:05:12 - 1:05:23
Chloe. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice. When I got all the shit poured on me, we don't write the days, but actually, in the WhatsApp group, we have, but if we did,
1:05:23 - 1:05:31
it would be a four. Actually, if we don't do it publicly, but in private, me and David, we write their days and we decide who has the best and worst life.
1:05:31 - 1:05:37
But we just keep that to ourselves. Hey, Chloe, thanks so much for coming on.
1:05:37 - 1:05:41
Thanks so much for having me. It genuinely has been a pleasure. Max. I said this off air.
1:05:41 - 1:05:44
I'm saying it on air. So it's on the record. I'm a huge fan of your work.
1:05:44 - 1:05:50
And I have been for a very long time. Stop it. And David, you and your little piano are fine.
1:05:51 - 1:06:11
Finally. Thank you. Finally. Thanks, Chloe. Thank you, Chloe. Love pets. She looks at the world in a very sort of honest, no bullshit manner.
1:06:11 - 1:06:16
I feel that came through in her day. Topped off with that walk home. I don't know.
1:06:16 - 1:06:29
There's something romantic about foggy London town. And there's something romantic as well. About, I can't remember how much we talked about tortillas and periné sauce, but I really got into that.
1:06:29 - 1:06:33
And that TV show, because I sort of think what did you do yesterday will become a TV show.
1:06:33 - 1:06:37
I think there's a TV show in it, but maybe that one has superseded it.
1:06:37 - 1:06:44
I don't think you know what the word romantic means. That's the one comment I will make about that.
1:06:44 - 1:06:50
This is a TV show. Are you out of your mind? No, it's like blankety blank.
1:06:50 - 1:07:00
You get, you get six famous people and then you'd have two people going for a million pounds, but they have to guess who did what, you know, who did what yesterday.
1:07:00 - 1:07:13
Oh yeah. That's actually not a bad idea. We need to move away from my friends who all did a podcast yesterday prepared for a gig and at some upmarket fast food.
1:07:13 - 1:07:19
I'll message Trevor Nelson again and I'll get on to Ali McCoy. The other people I've suggested, you just don't seem that excited about.
1:07:19 - 1:07:25
Who wouldn't want, Dion Dublin's day? I wouldn't mind Dion Dublin's day, but he's rarely on the list.
1:07:25 - 1:07:34
Instead, it's just people who played for West Brom in 1997. Who wouldn't want Chris Brunt's Jeff Horsfield's day?
1:07:34 - 1:07:43
Who wouldn't want that? But anyway, as we said at the top, go and see chloepetts.org and go and see her on tour either in the UK or in Melbourne.
1:07:43 - 1:07:53
And if you want to get in touch with this show and now we're doing the extra midweek mayhem middle bit pod, we do need your, your content to really sort of fill out those episodes.
1:07:53 - 1:08:01
Need. Need is the wrong word to use there. Yeah. Please get in touch. Here's how you get in touch.
1:08:01 - 1:08:08
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:08:08 - 1:08:16
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:08:16 - 1:08:24
And if you didn't, please don't. And that'll do for today. Thanks, David. Thanks, Max. We'll be back for the middle bit, midweek bit. Bye.