0:00 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
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Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
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I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to episode we don't know yet of What Did You Do Yesterday, O'Doherty.
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We get towards episode 24. I mean, have we passed that? Which would be a whole day of yesterday.
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Although, given that although we are told to keep the episodes tight, many stretch over the hour, Max.
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So maybe by episode 22, or even we might have even got there already. Yeah. Episode 20 might have hit into 24.
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And then we could release them like 24, the key for Sutherland. And so what would happen?
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It would go beep, beep, beep. And there'd be like Amy Gledhill with a hairdryer.
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And there would be beep. And there would be Ed Gamble looking at watches. And then it would be like beep, silly AB watching.
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You know where this is ending up, don't you? Watching Love is Mine. Of course it is.
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Or maybe, Max. If you watch 24 with the sound down, our podcast syncs exactly. Like do you remember the thing if you watch Wizard of Oz and Hunky Dory or one of the Bowie albums, things just freakily synced to it.
2:14 - 2:28
Yeah, that's how we've done this. What an Easter egg that is. If you listen to all of Top Loader's songs backwards at the same time as listening to all the episodes of this, I'm not sure what happens.
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But you'd have a great time. You'd have a great time, wouldn't you? Let's not beat around the bush, David.
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Let's get straight to it. That's the first time either of us has ever said that.
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I've never said it in my life. This is the first time I've said it in my life.
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And do you know what? It felt good. It felt good to say. James Buckley, yeah.
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And we're just about to do the episode. So we are like you. Sometimes we record these intros about six years after we've done the episode.
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We can't remember any of it. But we've done it, so we sort of know if it's good or if it's mid-table or whatever.
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But this one, we are in the same position as you. We don't know what James Buckley did yesterday.
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We're about to find out in the same time that you are about to find out.
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So exciting. What's your first question going to be, Max? I reckon it's going to be, what time did you wake up?
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Just mix it up a bit. Let's do it. So, yeah, James Buckley, obviously, who found fame with the Inbetweeners and now hosts a podcast, The Buckleys, with Mrs. Buckley.
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This is an interesting intro for me because normally when it's one of my comedian friends, you just say, he or she has been on all those things really dismissively.
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Whereas, yeah, James is a proper actor. Yeah. I'm not saying, I'm not dismissing Mock the Week.
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You know, it's something that I would watch going, I bet I could do that.
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And then if I did do it, I'd have been absolutely terrible and would just be like, not in the edit.
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And then I'd be relieved that I wasn't in the edit and I would have tried too hard.
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So I'm not dismissing them. I think they'd be very difficult to do. Can I just say that for the record?
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When I say all the things, I'm saying it with adulation and admiration. Just to interrupt whatever you're going on with, Max, our producer, Mars Bar, he's just popped up a little chat in the sidebar and it says,
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real-time DOD fact-checking. You see, I do come across, it's why I'd be a good politician.
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I come across like I know I'm talking about certain things. You do. And he's found two inconsistencies already.
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Wizard of Oz is meant to sync with Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd, not one of the David Bowie albums.
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And we're over the 24-hour mark already in terms of collective episode duration. That would have been so tiring for the Dark Side of the Moon people to have to sync it up with...
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Fucking Wizard of Oz. He's halfway through, you just go, this is a stupid idea.
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No, they didn't. It was just that stoners who happened to be watching the two saw...
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Oh, I see, I see. Freakish things. Yep, that's exactly it. It's good that you know things, because, you know, as we've established, I'm like an open book, you know?
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Anyway, here is James Buckley and what he did yesterday. James Buckley, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
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Hello, good morning. It's lovely to see you. It's been a long time. I'm going to say a decade.
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At least. Since what? Well, James clearly was Soccer AM Glory Years guest material. Oh, no way.
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Wow. And is it something that's now just been, like, deleted from the record? He had to pick the five hottest babes at a non-league match or something.
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Whenever I hear about the Glory Years of Soccer AM, it's always just like, you can't even say that anymore.
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Is that what it was? I think it was done with some irony in its defense.
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I think it was into sort of, oh, lads, lads, lads, that sort of thing.
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I think it was done as a joke. Simpler times. What's your memory of going on Soccer AM, James?
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I always enjoyed it. It was just really far away. It was always in the middle of nowhere.
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Those Sky Sports studios are just far away from anyone else on the planet. And every year we'd take them further away.
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Every year. So eventually we're like in Tashkent. And, you know, editors were like, fuck, we've got to go to Tashkent with Brett Ormerod and, you know, Mr. T.
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What's going on? Anyway, this is all, none of this matters. What matters, James, is what time did you wake up yesterday?
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So yesterday, I'm going through a bit of a habit at the moment of waking up unnecessarily early.
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Okay. Way earlier than I need to wake up. I don't know why. I'm just ready to go.
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I could afford to have another hour or two just laying there in bed asleep.
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And I love sleep so much. It's probably my most favorite thing to do. When bedtime comes around, I can't believe my luck.
7:05 - 7:10
I'm so excited to go to bed. I absolutely love it. I'm with you. Tomorrow, yesterday, sorry.
7:10 - 7:18
That's the opposite of tomorrow. It's a totally different podcast. It's a different podcast. It was before 5 a.m.
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I woke up. What? Didn't need to. Didn't have to get up that early at all.
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The problem is that we've got a puppy and he's just, sort of a four months old and he's actually quite good.
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And he stopped sort of needing to get up during the night a few weeks ago now, but I'm really paranoid.
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It's like when you have a newborn baby, I guess, where even when they finally fall asleep at night, you still wake up to make sure that their belly's moving up and down.
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They're still breathing and stuff like that. Because we did have, as you know, as you can imagine with a puppy, we did have a couple of in the middle of the night accidents and that's just filled me with,
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it's paranoia now and I'm just, is that wee-wees or? Oh, it's everything, man. Man.
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There was the trifecta one time, puke, piss and shit. You let us wear. Yes.
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Yeah. We tried to steer the podcast away from defecation, but we can't do it.
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Yeah. So now we're really leaning into it. Does the puppy sleep in one of those, like a little puppy cave in the kitchen or?
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No, he's upstairs with us. He's got a crate every now and then he does get into the bed, which apparently is meant, to be a really bad thing to do,
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but I quite like it. I really like the puppy. That's why. So I heard the psychology of it is because in the cave situation in Neolithic times, the elders of the tribe slept the furthest up into the cave.
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The idea being the bear that would come into the cave would eat the lower orders first.
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And in the dog sleeping with you in your bed, it's probably the highest point in the house.
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So the dog is equating its own importance with you, the tribal elders of your gaff.
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I don't think my four month old Staffordshire Bull Terrier thinks about it as much as that.
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I did hear the dog started a podcast though. Andres is in your clothes. That's right.
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Yeah. So now you're waking up at just before five and this isn't some, it's not a high performance thing, James.
9:25 - 9:33
You're not like you're, you're there and what you just wake up, check if the puppy's breathing and has made a mess and then go back to sleep.
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Or are you up for the day? That's it. I'm up then. I mean, I'm in bed.
9:37 - 9:44
I can't move. You know, my wife is there as well. I don't know what he is about houses in the middle of the night, but just everything's loud.
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Everything is when someone wakes up, that's it. It's like, all right, well, we've all got to get up then.
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And cause I'm a considerate person. I just lie there like a lunatic, like some kind of psychopath.
9:54 - 9:59
So you totally still eyes open, like a corpse for an hour. Yeah, pretty much.
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How do you try to get back to sleep or do you just, yeah, of course I do.
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Yeah. Cause that would be the normal thing to do. Try and go back to sleep.
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There's no need to be up before five o'clock in the morning. What are you doing?
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You idiot. But for some reason, my body's like, well, you got to get up in two hours anyway.
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So what's two hours. It's interesting. Cause my colleague, Max, he gets up at five o'clock generally being covered in toy trucks.
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And then they watch an episode of what's the one about the guy on the farm with the carrots.
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This is me and my two year old, not me and my wife, just important clarification.
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So I'm up early, but not out of choice, but I know what you mean.
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If I've woken up and the two year old is still asleep, my body has now been trained to just go.
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Yeah. But do you check your phone? Are you doing it? Are you just lying there?
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That's the thing. You, you, you reach for the, the phone. There's inevitably emails and stuff.
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This is another problem that we've got that we've all got going on is that anyone can reach you at any time.
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And then usually there's an email. It will usually say something like, have you done this yet?
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And I go in my head, I go, no, I've not done that. So that's something I need to worry about now.
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Thank you very much, James. I have this, but also you add into this because Max is in Australia.
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He'll often do a bit of a brain, a storm during what is my night.
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So if I happen to wake up early, there's 10 messages from Max and it's the most inane bullshit ever.
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It's like book Alan Rickman for podcast. And the next one will be Alan Rickman dead.
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Someone like Alan Rickman. And I'm like, now I'm completely awake. And it was just because of this drivel.
11:51 - 11:59
Really? Who is the new Alan Rickman? Oh, that's a good question. I was looking at YouTube recently.
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And for some reason, I want to look up all episodes of play school with Floella Benjamin, like the era when I would have been a viewer.
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And for some reason, put on ITVs rip off of play school, which was called play away.
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And one of the hosts of that. So to be like a rotating cast of four hosts, it's a preschooler show, but Jeremy Irons was one of them.
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And Irons was full. Full Irons. Where he's like, what's that big Ted? So he gave them the riddles.
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And they had to try and disarm a bomb before it blew up a school or something.
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Right. So you, you are, you're lying there. You're checking your phone. Is there an example of there's an email saying, have you done this yet?
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It's on your mind. Not right. Now I'm thinking yesterday, James, I don't care about today.
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One of them was, don't forget. You've got a podcast tomorrow. Right. Okay. To be fair with the grownups in my life that manage me, they have learned that I need lots of reminders because I just don't remember.
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So I've got the worst memory. I keep telling Claire, you know, my grandfather, it was dementia that finished him off.
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That's something I'm worrying about. Is this the right time to start talking about this?
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It can do. So have you worried about it yesterday? Of course. I think I was worried about it yesterday, but I can't remember.
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It is interesting that you got a text message yesterday morning or email. Like, do you think that was encouraged?
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Please have an interesting day because you have to go on these idiots podcast the day after tomorrow to talk about it.
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I got like an email saying that you wanted a truthful. I never knew that.
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People, you get an email, all the guests get this. You must be honest. Wow.
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I have faith in the guests, but you know, I believe you're going to be honest.
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So I've not prepared anything interesting. I mean, it's my, my life mainly is being bespoke around a four month old puppy at the moment.
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And that takes up a lot of time. And that's basically all I've been doing.
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That's what we want. So do you invite the puppy into the bed then at five 30 AM?
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Yeah. I pulled him in. Okay. I mean, does he want, stuff thrown for him?
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Does he want any of that? Or he's just happy? No, he's, he's still, I'm asleep, mate.
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It's not even five o'clock in the morning. What do you want? So really roles have reversed in a movie where James Buckley and his puppy change roles.
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And he's like, I just want to be asleep. And you're like yapping at him going, I'm awake.
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I can't help it. Pretty much. Yeah. That's that then for a couple of hours, there's nothing got to happen or anything for another couple of hours.
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You don't have to worry about school runs or anything like that for a little while yet.
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Do you pop in headphones and sometimes I will wake up inexplicably early and then a terrible mistake to make is to put in something too interesting.
15:10 - 15:24
You know, if I put in and no disrespect to anyone else who may be on this podcast, if I put in just a football boring podcast where nothing happens and they're just talking about Bournemouth against,
15:24 - 15:36
you know, whatever, West Brom, generally I can get back to sleep then. But if I put on a thrilling episodic one, then I'm definitely awake for the day.
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Yeah, I've done that. Yeah. Cause I've got those little, um, they're called air pods, but I keep calling them ear pods, which my kids keep reminding me.
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They're not called ear pods. I also found my old iPod a few years ago.
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It was an iPod mini. It was the first generation iPod mini. And I said to, I was like, Oh, look at this.
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It's my oldest son. He must've been 11 at the time, something like that. And I went, check this out.
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iPod. And he went, dad, it's called an iPad. I was like, no, no iPods are new.
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You can't play that card with me for iPod. What would you do if I pulled out a Walkman right now?
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Follow your tiny little mind. Yeah. I've, I've listened to old comedy shows of mine recently.
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And I think maybe, the most dated joke ever. Cause what that first iPhone came in, I think in 2007, 2008.
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And I think I got my first one in about 2009. So the joke was about to look cool.
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Sometimes I would pick up my iPod and be like, hello, into it. Audience goes wild.
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To try again. So what time? Do we get up then James seven o'clock? It all kicks off.
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Okay. Fine. Everything happens. Kids are up. And are you exhausted? Cause like you've been lying there for two hours or do you have to be like, you know, you're in charge now.
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I get exhausted. If I've woken up way earlier than I need to, I get exhausted about now.
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Okay. Perfect. There's a time of recording is about 20 past 10 AM. And that's it. I'm ready for bed again.
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It's the sweet spot. It's the sweet spot. I mean, there's just to say there's pressure on David.
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Now, because it's nine 23 PM for me. That's about an hour and a half after my bedtime, James exhausted.
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So I'm just saying for the rest of the episode, David, you're in charge of bringing the energy.
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I'm driving this morning zoo radio show. Is that what you're saying? You're Chris Moyles in this situation.
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Annoyingly. I've been up since about half four again today, but for different reasons, we can't ask you about that.
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You can't ask me about today. No, it's not relevant about how the wind woke me up today.
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And the bins, it went out last night. So I had to go out the street at half four in the morning and collect all my rubbish from the road.
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It would have been good to find out that story. Interesting. About a month ago, rubbish blows up my road.
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Cause I'm the last house on the road. So it sort of blows down into a corner.
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And one of the things that had blown down was like a fake, the box of a fake bum.
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And it said it had two vibrating, bullets that went into it. And the slogan on it said even better than the real thing.
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It's better than Coca-Cola. Did you pick it up like a detective? And you can be like, now it's my mission to know who on this street, everyone you're looking at on your street,
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you're like, are they using the fake bum? Do you know what? It's a shame that the fake bum didn't blow in because then that could have been a really weird version of Cinderella.
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Right. Seven o'clock. Seven o'clock. That's when it all kicks off. The kids are going to get up.
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They take about four or five attempts to try and get them out of bed.
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And then it's, you know, the usual stuff. You've got to have an argument with them to get them to brush their teeth.
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This is interesting now. So tactics wise, cause I just remembered the difference between my mother waking me up for school versus my father.
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Now my father is a musician, so it would be a very rare thing that he would cause generally being at a So mom would like have a softly approach, might come up and put a cup of tea beside the bed.
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Whereas dad, it was like, Jesus Christ, we're supposed to be gone now. You know, he would go more in that direction.
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What, what do you do versus what does Claire, your partner do? Yeah. Claire's very much sort of tries to ease them into the day.
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I'm sort of like, just get up, mate. I've been up for hours. Go on.
19:54 - 19:59
You've missed half the day. What's going on? How many kids are there? I've got two boys.
19:59 - 20:05
Two. Right. And, and do they require the same approach or do you like have more success with one than the other?
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Yeah. One of them's brilliant. Right. They know who they are as well. One of them's great.
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The other one, everything's difficult. Everything's a debate. There's always a reason and an excuse and a question, a question to a question.
20:24 - 20:37
That annoys me. Can you get, get up now? Well, I could, but yeah, I foresee a time in the not distant future where you've trained the dog to be part of this morning wake up thing.
20:37 - 20:41
You know what I mean? I mean, that'd be great if I could get the dog to wake the kids up.
20:41 - 20:48
I think they'd enjoy that as well. That's a happy little dog waking you up much better than a grumpy old man.
20:48 - 20:52
A bulging dog with the threat of a giant piss about to come out of it, waking you up.
20:52 - 20:57
I think that would, I think that would work as well. Do you shout? Do you have to shout James?
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Cause I can't see you as a shouter. I don't shout. I think it makes you look weak.
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All right. Okay. So you just take the sort of miffed approach. Yeah. You can't, you can't look weak in front of them because then they know when they know they've rattled you.
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Kids. It's like having sort of little Robbie savages when you've had kids, they leave a bit on you and they just see what they can get away with before you explode.
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And then suddenly you're the bad guy. You look like the lunatic. And they're not blessed with amazing talent, but they really make the most of that.
21:30 - 21:37
Yeah. For the non football fan. That's quite a good Robbie savage joke, which I think the metaphor twanged there.
21:37 - 21:43
Do they want to get up for breakfast? Like what's the motivating factor for them?
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Or I would imagine in their brains, they have calculated the very last moment they have to get up.
21:49 - 21:55
And so we're just going to keep pushing it till then. Or are they not motivated by these things?
21:55 - 21:59
Would they happily stay in, for the day? Yeah. Yeah. They're not the pair of them.
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Aren't morning people. Okay. They don't like the mornings. I mean, I do feel for them in a way because you know, the kids, they've basically gone nine to five already.
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Yeah. Since they were like four years old, it was like they had, they had a couple of years where they could just be kids and just muck about and stuff.
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And it was like, right off you go. I'll see you later this evening when it's tea time.
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I always had this with my dad because my dad was, like either doing gigs or in recording studios in school, you were told these are the best days of your life in the future.
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You'll have to get a job and you won't be able to have fun like this.
22:36 - 22:42
And I would arrive home after school. And my dad would have done like all of today's countdown.
22:42 - 22:48
He would have done the various rounds and totted up the score that he would have had.
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And then there'd be like some breakfast and some lunch sitting either side of them.
22:53 - 22:59
And maybe he would have written like a piece of music that size. And I'd be like, no, I think these might be the worst days of my life.
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School confused me. What aspect of it? Oh, the whole system, man. Just what am I doing?
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What am I doing here? What am I doing here? I'm not paying attention. I'm not interested in this.
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I'm wasting your, yours and my time. I don't think I've really applied anything that I've learned at school to what I've done as an adult.
23:23 - 23:30
Yeah. It's interesting. And I wonder if, because obviously I was a massive square, so I just really enjoyed all of it.
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And every time I had to do a test, I just revised for it and did it.
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And it was like, well, this is fine. And I had a good time, but I wonder if all my son sees me doing is watching football and sitting on the sofa.
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So when I tell him he's got to go to school, then he might be like, no, I don't.
23:47 - 23:56
Max records his podcasts in his shed. And sometimes his two year old son decides to do podcasting where he just goes out to the shed.
23:56 - 24:01
And gets the sort of muffly covers that go on mics and puts them on his hands.
24:01 - 24:09
So that's what he thinks his dad does. That's brilliant though. I love it when kids do stuff like that.
24:09 - 24:15
It's like, they want to be dad. Interestingly, he doesn't want to spend any time with me and go near him.
24:15 - 24:22
He's like, no, no, I don't want to know this again. I mean, it's only like we're in a phase where, I mean, and most people who've met Mrs.
24:22 - 24:26
Rushden would prefer her as well. I understand that. I know my place. She is great.
24:26 - 24:32
She is great. So, okay. So how long does the process of getting them up and getting them dressed and all that?
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I mean, they dress themselves now, right? Hopefully tell me there's a time when they dress themselves.
24:37 - 24:47
Do they have uniforms, James? Yeah, they've got uniforms. They dress themselves. Although one of them fairly recently, like way too old to be making a mistake like this.
24:47 - 24:51
I got him all the way to the school gate and look down at his feet.
24:51 - 24:56
And I was like, fuck your feet look weird. I looked at him. He'd put his shoes on.
24:56 - 25:12
The wrong feet. Are they exploring the edges of trying to fuck with the uniform system as in wearing white socks, wearing a, like a black leather belt with metal studs in it.
25:12 - 25:21
Like we had a school uniform and people were always like a classic one. The cool kids in my school would do is cause your tie had a fat end and a skinny end.
25:21 - 25:27
You would do it the other way around in an attempt to get a skinny tie or all the way down.
25:27 - 25:31
So it looked like you were in an indie band. I think that's a little bit older.
25:31 - 25:35
I think my kids will try that. I think we've got that in the next couple of years.
25:35 - 25:40
I mean, I remember when I was in secondary school, the fashion was to make your tie as tiny as possible.
25:40 - 25:46
Like just a sort of one inch tie. Yeah, that's good. Big fat one, but little.
25:46 - 25:50
I think I did that for the in between us. I think I thought it was quite funny.
25:50 - 25:53
So I think I did my tie like that. So it was a little tie.
25:53 - 26:02
I mean, why? That's really, you're sticking it to the man. Okay. So what's breakfast?
26:02 - 26:07
Is it like cacophony? I'm sensing there's noise. I think they're all so low energy, Max.
26:07 - 26:14
It's possible. It's just a silent meal where toast is getting handed over or is it all standing?
26:14 - 26:23
Is there any use of the table at all, James? No. So the problem, right, that I've got, and I keep telling the kids, this is that if you weren't so slow in the morning,
26:23 - 26:31
if you just got up and got, you'd be able to sleep a lot longer and they need a good hour.
26:31 - 26:36
They like to sit there, bit of tea and toast in the living room with the television.
26:36 - 26:40
That's nice. That goes on for about 45 minutes. What are we watching? Good morning, Britain.
26:40 - 26:53
Old episodes of soccer. I am GB news. Trump's inauguration again. That is an absolute shambles.
26:53 - 26:59
What is happening to this country? Throwing toast. At the TV. It's cartoons. It's cartoons.
26:59 - 27:07
And again, you tell a kid that you just had to watch whatever was on one of the four channels at that time.
27:07 - 27:11
That was all you got. They just don't understand. And they, so what have they chosen?
27:11 - 27:19
It's something fools. They're watching at the moment. Only fools and horses, fools and gravity fools.
27:19 - 27:23
I think it's cold. Okay. What's the premise? It's proper rod. I don't get it.
27:23 - 27:33
It's two kids that live with their great uncle. Okay. In a weird town. And there's lots of sort of cults and conspiracies.
27:33 - 27:40
And it is odd. Is it queuing on TV? Is it queuing on TV? Do they get in the kids early in conspiracies?
27:40 - 27:44
I don't know. You know, I don't know if it's like Joe Rogan for kids or something.
27:44 - 27:50
It doesn't sound like Top Cat. It's not Top Cat. No Top Cat. You know where you are.
27:50 - 27:54
It's in an alley and there's a police officer. And they're coming up with schemes.
27:54 - 28:00
Brilliant. What used to happen? What used to happen in Top Cat? Hang on. I haven't thought about Top Cat for a long time, apart from the team music.
28:00 - 28:03
But it was Benny, wasn't there? There was Benny and there was, was it Dibble?
28:03 - 28:09
Officer Dibble? Officer Dibble and TC. But could the cop talk to the cats in English?
28:09 - 28:19
Yeah, they did. Yeah, they ought to chat. Of course. Of course. Probably that's way weirder than Gravity Falls, to be honest.
28:19 - 28:23
It might be, yeah. So then we got to go to school. I'll do the school run.
28:23 - 28:27
Are they both in the same school? They're both in Dibble. They're both in different schools now.
28:27 - 28:34
Oh man. The oldest gets the bus. It's a bus that the school puts on as well, because I just wouldn't trust my kids to...
28:34 - 28:42
To get on the ones four or five. Yeah. No. Even though I was like well younger than what he is now, I'd get a call from France or something.
28:42 - 28:50
He's in the depot. That's where he's just in the depot. All right. So you're free of them now.
28:50 - 28:56
They've gone. Then we get rid. We get rid. Yeah. And then I need to sort of get myself ready then.
28:56 - 29:03
Okay. Have you got something to get ready for? Me and my wife do a podcast that we had to record Thursdays is when we record an episode of that.
29:03 - 29:09
Okay. And that's in London, which I hate. And how far away from London are you?
29:09 - 29:14
It's a good old whack. I thought I was, I lived far enough away from London to be able to not have to go back.
29:14 - 29:19
It turns out I'm going to have to live even further. Can't you just do it in that seat that you're currently in?
29:19 - 29:26
Yeah. Like this. No, it needs, it's just me and my wife and we're not particularly interested in funny.
29:26 - 29:39
So we need to sort of make it, I suppose, look semi-professional or something. What we lack in sort of actual substance, I think we make up for and just sort of some sheen.
29:39 - 29:42
So do you drive, you can't drive it to, no one's driving you to London.
29:42 - 29:51
We get the train. Okay. I don't think any more people would listen to this podcast if there was video evidence of us record, you know what I mean?
29:51 - 30:02
I see where Max is while we're recording this and there is a shelf behind them that has the word books written on it because there aren't any real books on it.
30:02 - 30:09
You know, I don't think this is going to sell any more listeners to tune in.
30:09 - 30:18
It's a nice air conditioning unit in the corner. Do you know what? That is a game changer because I was doing talk sport shows from here.
30:18 - 30:22
I was going to a studio. I thought, actually I'll do it in my shed because good to do all your work in your shed.
30:22 - 30:28
And there was one day when it was like 40 degrees and I, I panicked and I bought like six bags of ice.
30:28 - 30:32
Cause I thought that like they would cool, you know, if there's ice in the room, it'll just like cool.
30:32 - 30:36
But then I just had six bags of ice. I've got nothing to put the ice in.
30:36 - 30:39
Right. So it's just sort of like in buckets and things that have got holes.
30:39 - 30:47
And there's water everywhere around the electronics. It felt like I was in Apollo 13, like this was so hot and I was reentering the atmosphere.
30:47 - 30:56
And I was like, anytime this thing is going to blow. And then it did like an hour in, like the signal went down and I'm so terrified of the signal going down a couple of times.
30:56 - 31:00
And then they're just going, this isn't going to work. Is it? You're in a shed in Australia.
31:00 - 31:09
I love that. You thought the ice would call the room where famously what happens is the outside usually warms up the ice.
31:09 - 31:16
That's like a hundred percent what always happens, but you decided to try it out one last time.
31:16 - 31:26
I think there was give and take. I think while the room, while the sun is melting the ice, the ice is just giving a little back.
31:26 - 31:35
The sun's getting a little bit colder. I love the idea that it's like one of those sixties NASA tests and like sweat is streaming down Max's face.
31:35 - 31:44
And he's like, does Southampton need a new goalkeeper? I definitely think if you bought, let's go mental, a dozen bags of ice.
31:44 - 31:50
That's only six more than I bought. I mean, so you would change the climate of Australia.
31:50 - 31:59
Anyway, it didn't work. And I was very hot. And then I had a wet carpet.
31:59 - 32:06
So it didn't work, but surely you're of a level now, James, we can say, we don't want to get this train.
32:06 - 32:10
I've never, I've never been in a position of power. I've never had any power.
32:10 - 32:23
Wow. I've never had any power either. You must've had some power, like, you know, series, whatever of the, you know, once you guys were like, one of you doesn't show up,
32:23 - 32:29
the show screwed. You would have had some power there, right? Oh, we used to get told off.
32:29 - 32:33
We used to get told off. It's because you made your tie so fat. Isn't it?
32:33 - 32:43
Yeah. Can't believe I'm on a podcast with two cooks. His whole life is just getting yelled at.
32:43 - 32:50
By the man. Yeah. I'm the alpha dog here. Whoa. No, I, I don't know.
32:50 - 33:00
I definitely, you have as a sort of independent contractor going around, doing comedy gigs and like dying on your arse a lot for the first 10 years.
33:00 - 33:06
Like there's a point in your career where at the start, I remember I used to just say yes to do publicity stuff.
33:06 - 33:10
I remember once going on, I think it was called good morning Ireland or something.
33:10 - 33:24
And like I was plugging some charity gig I was doing, I'd agreed to the publicity and the lads on before me were two kids who'd come second in the all Ireland wicker chair making competition.
33:26 - 33:35
I remember thinking, wow, the guys who won that blew off this show. See that's not, you know, you get those people that have watched father Ted and they just go,
33:35 - 33:40
well, that must be what Ireland is like. That's not doing any favors at all.
33:40 - 33:49
Wicker chair making is a, it's a serious, it's how you get a lot of cred in this country.
33:49 - 33:57
Yeah. Do you on the train discuss what you're going to do? What are you going to do on the podcast?
33:57 - 34:04
A little bit ever so slightly. Yeah. But, um, I think sometimes it's good to keep things.
34:04 - 34:09
Yeah. Save it for on air. Keep me powdered dry. It's the lazy man's excuse for not doing work really.
34:09 - 34:14
Isn't it? You like to keep it organic and all words like that come out.
34:14 - 34:19
It's authentic, isn't it? Yeah. What you haven't done any work authentically have done. Fuck all.
34:19 - 34:24
Have you had breakfast at home? Have you had your toast? I don't have breakfast.
34:24 - 34:29
Wow. Breakfast isn't a real meal. Is it? But you're five hours into the day now, James.
34:29 - 34:34
I'm good. I'm all good. I just need one great big meal a day. It's usually like tea time.
34:34 - 34:39
Wow. You're like a sort of lion. Yeah. So you catch the gazelle and eat it.
34:39 - 34:43
That's why you're so tired. Then you have to sleep for three days. I'm a sort of snake.
34:43 - 34:50
Wow. I cannot wait till your meal. I hope it's enormous because this is really exciting.
34:50 - 34:52
Okay. So have you had anything? You've had a glass of water? You've had a coffee?
34:52 - 34:57
Yeah. I drink water. Of course. Don't drink coffee. You can't drink any. I don't drink any caffeine at all whatsoever.
34:57 - 35:02
Okay. Cause then I'll be up at three o'clock in the morning. So you're just on water.
35:02 - 35:06
You're like that man who wants to live forever. Yeah, that's true. Actually, you look good.
35:06 - 35:13
It's a bit different from that. James is 67. The man who wants to live forever.
35:13 - 35:19
I saw he tweeted today, him and his 19 year old son's erection times while sleeping.
35:19 - 35:25
You're joking me. I'm not joking. He was like, look at, and I don't follow him.
35:25 - 35:29
I was just, you know, now, when you flick it on, it's just serves you shit that you don't want.
35:29 - 35:34
And it was this man and he's the man who wants to live forever. And he just takes pills all day.
35:34 - 35:38
And he was just saying, have a look at this. This is the length of time I had an erection last night.
35:38 - 35:42
And this is the length of time my 19 year old son had an erection last night.
35:42 - 35:47
Hang on, Max, are these sexy erections or are they just. I think they're while you're asleep.
35:47 - 35:50
I mean, how do we know if they're sexy or just, or just science? I don't know.
35:50 - 35:57
I mean, the irony is, is that this guy is doing so much during the day and, and at night, that's not life, is it?
35:57 - 36:02
You're not living now, mate, is what I would say to him. Also, I think he's my age.
36:02 - 36:12
I think he's 49 and he just looks 49. He looks like a 49 year old man with dyed hair is all he looks like.
36:12 - 36:18
And also my sleep owners, I could just lie about my sleep owners as well.
36:18 - 36:29
My thought is when I was 19, if my dad and obviously Twitter didn't exist, had, I don't know, written to the Cambridge evening, news to announce how long I'd had an erection at night.
36:29 - 36:36
I don't think that would help me. I think I'd be like, dad, I just don't know how you've measured that.
36:36 - 36:43
And I'm sad that you've told everybody. It's stupid. It's stupid nonsense. Yeah. Isn't he trying to sell people stuff as well?
36:43 - 36:50
Yeah, I bet he is. Yeah. So I don't know how we got to that, but yeah, cause you don't have, you've only had water, but you get to the studio.
36:50 - 36:59
We get to the studio. First things first. My pre, podcast record prep is that I need to have a beer.
36:59 - 37:07
Oh wow. What time is this? We're still not midday yet. Wow. Is it a one liter can of Carling special export?
37:07 - 37:15
Cause that's not a beer. Our rider is specifically Stella unfiltered. Great. That's a strong one.
37:15 - 37:20
You just have one can? The 660 mil bowl. Okay. Which is a big old bowl.
37:20 - 37:25
It is. And that just helps me, I don't know, relax, I suppose, or talk bollocks.
37:25 - 37:31
I suppose it's bollocks fuel. Unless you've got nothing to eat. Yes. It goes on an empty stomach.
37:31 - 37:37
So you do get a little bit of Stella. Yeah. You get a buzz. Yeah, definitely.
37:37 - 37:53
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I noticed it in my colleague, Max James. Sometimes he's drinking a tea at the moment, but he'll towards the end of a podcast, he'll have a can and he becomes a little more.
37:53 - 38:04
Fuck it. What beer do you drink? I've gone back to Lager after flirting with the pale ales, the sort of craft beer.
38:04 - 38:08
So here I was drinking some Viet. It was only one episode. It was the Kerry Godleyman episode.
38:08 - 38:13
And by the end I'd had three cans and I was, I was a bit squiffy.
38:13 - 38:18
It's fair to say the things I was saying, I shouldn't have said, but you know, they weren't bad.
38:18 - 38:27
That makes it sound worse than they were. James, you know, when it's the end of a podcast and you're just trying to search for just so long final line to us.
38:27 - 38:34
And Max decides to take this upon himself and he just keeps saying, everything is showbiz.
38:34 - 38:40
Everything is showbiz. That's not accurate. That's not accurate. At one point I just said to try and finish it all up.
38:40 - 38:44
I said, in the end, everything is showbiz. And I don't know why I said it.
38:44 - 38:48
And we immediately acknowledged it didn't make any sense. It didn't mean anything. It's completely meaningless, James.
38:48 - 38:55
A guy who had three cans just like in the pub. He's just like boring the air off you.
38:55 - 39:04
And everything is showbiz. Totally meaningless. You're so right. Does Mrs. Buckley have a bottle of Stella as well or not?
39:04 - 39:09
Yeah, she does. It's part of our prep. And then we drink during the podcast as well.
39:09 - 39:14
Cause why not? Why the hell not? How does yesterday's podcast go? It was all right.
39:14 - 39:19
I don't know, to be honest. Wow. I never know. Does Claire listen back to them?
39:19 - 39:27
Max, I'm very much the person who thinks about our podcasts. Yeah, Claire does. Listen back to them.
39:27 - 39:34
She gets them before they go out because sometimes it's a good idea to make sure that I've not completely canceled myself or something.
39:34 - 39:42
Yeah. Apparently I can be a bit of a liability. Like, cause I finished the podcast and I'm always like, I haven't said anything that I don't stand behind.
39:42 - 39:54
So you're doing serious political stuff. No, not even. That's the problem. Like I couldn't care about politics or anything like that at all whatsoever, but just people that annoy me on the train and things like that.
39:54 - 40:00
Sometimes that's controversial. And it's just, we're in a time now where it's. You can't say anything anymore.
40:00 - 40:08
You can't. The rest is Buckley's. It goes out once a week. They lay down the law.
40:08 - 40:25
What time does the podcast finish up? So we finished that about, cause we do like to go on quite a bit and then it gets really shaved down because we always worry that we've not either said enough or said what we were supposed to say.
40:25 - 40:30
Because every episode has to have a theme. All right. What was the theme of yesterday?
40:30 - 40:42
So it was a pre-record for our Valentine's episode. So we had to talk about Valentine's day, which was really difficult because it was two people who couldn't give a fuck about Valentine's day.
40:42 - 40:55
I've never celebrated Valentine's day either together or before we'd even met each other. Just there was some, you know, trying to get blood out of a stone situation yesterday.
40:55 - 40:58
It was a bit of a producer saying, come on, we need a bit more love.
40:58 - 41:03
Yeah. Yeah. We've got a production team and stuff and we do. That's why we go in because we do need that.
41:03 - 41:12
We do need a little bit of shepherding because I can just talk about my dog or something like that for two hours and they go, well, that's not interesting.
41:12 - 41:23
James, please, as you guys know. And so we do that. We finished that. And then the good thing is that on a Thursday is that obviously my oldest gets the bus home and either my wife,
41:23 - 41:31
sister, or our friends, our friend across the road will collect our youngest. So don't have to do the pickup because you're both shit faced.
41:31 - 41:38
Well, yeah, of course it does help knowing that the podcast, once I'm finished the podcast, I'm at home.
41:38 - 41:42
Like I can just enjoy the rest of the day then. So you don't hang out in London.
41:42 - 41:47
Then you're just back of the train. And what time do you get back then?
41:47 - 41:51
We're home about dinner time. And the next thing I've got to do is walk the dog.
41:51 - 41:54
Oh yeah. Have you eaten anything yet? Sorry. Have you eaten anything? Not a thing.
41:54 - 41:59
Not a thing. You haven't eaten anything. You've been awake since five and it must be busy doing stuff.
41:59 - 42:03
You don't really realize it. I don't really get hungry. How many stellas have you had?
42:03 - 42:11
Maybe two max. Maximum. Sorry. I wasn't just talking to you. That was information for me and not David.
42:11 - 42:24
I wonder if we'll have another Nish Kumar in our hands here, James, where Nish wakes up and he said something like, and like most people from when I wake up,
42:24 - 42:30
as soon as my feet, touch the floor, like most people have 15 seconds to get to the toilet and do a shit.
42:30 - 42:38
And he just thought that was everyone would be like, yeah, preach. Whereas quite a lot of the people who responded were like, go to a doctor.
42:38 - 42:45
I'm not saying it's similar, but if it's five past one and I haven't had my lunch, my body goes into shutdown.
42:45 - 42:54
I just have to start like cramming bananas into my shoes, whatever, to try and take on some sort of shoes there.
42:55 - 43:01
Clown shoes, big clown shoes. Yeah. Whereas you're just moseying on through. Have you got a big plan for dinner?
43:01 - 43:09
Like, is that what's maintaining you? Okay. So the dog is a small dog. It's not going to be a huge walk.
43:09 - 43:19
So it's a 20 minute walk at the moment, but I have discovered just yesterday because the last week or so, he's been like a bit nuts.
43:19 - 43:23
And I was a bit like, Oh, it must just be because he's a puppy.
43:23 - 43:29
And the advice was for every month, the puppy is you walk them for five minutes, right?
43:29 - 43:32
Okay. It's four months at the moment. So that was the advice I was given.
43:32 - 43:38
Is that forever? Because by the time they're like 12 years old, it's like the marathon they start playing.
43:38 - 43:41
You've got to do every day. You've got to do 10 marathons. They never stop walking.
43:41 - 43:49
They never stop. It's a great day. Wow. Anyways, does the dog reach the point on the walk where the dog's like, I don't, I want to go home now.
43:49 - 43:55
I've finished walking. I don't think he's really keen on walking anyway. I think he likes to get it done and dusted.
43:55 - 44:07
But I was like this, the dog's definitely got way too much energy. And I don't know if I want to walk him anymore because when their joints are all new and stuff and they're all growing,
44:07 - 44:15
like walking a dog too much can be quite bad for them. Right. I was like, I'm going to double check with my mate Google if I'm doing this right.
44:15 - 44:20
Yeah. Turns out I should be walking him twice as much. It should be two 20 minute walks.
44:20 - 44:27
I read that and I was like, that now makes so much sense. so he'll be getting up there with me.
44:27 - 44:31
Yeah. We'll be doing one in the morning and one in the evening going forward from now on.
44:31 - 44:33
And I love it. I do love walking the dog as a non dog owner.
44:33 - 44:38
I pretty much thought everyone knew you walked a dog in the morning and the afternoon.
44:38 - 44:43
I thought that was, no, I mean, we had the Rottweiler. She passed away this year.
44:43 - 44:51
I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. It's fine. Well, she, I used to take her out.
44:51 - 44:55
We used to walk for about an hour and a half, an hour and 20 minutes once a day.
44:55 - 44:58
We used to do about three and a half miles. I used to love it.
44:58 - 45:07
I just used to love it. That was when having a dog just made sense when you get them out and you just see them running around and stuff.
45:07 - 45:14
And I just, I love all dogs. It's great. It's really good. Are you headphones in when you're walking the dog or are you a one with nature?
45:14 - 45:22
No, I'm not a psychopath. I've got my headphones. What are you listening to? It's a bit weird.
45:22 - 45:30
I don't know. I'm actually, I don't know the relationship. It's like genuinely I'm listening to the old soccer.
45:30 - 45:34
I am lot. They've got a podcast, the soccer a to Z. That's the one you've chosen.
45:34 - 45:48
Is it? I can't. To be fair, I feel like it chose me. Right. Sometimes you just listen to a podcast and you, you come up to date and then the app just throws you another thing and you get on with it.
45:48 - 45:55
What happens in this? Is it a look back at 2000s football? So this is the pre glory years.
45:55 - 46:01
Pre glory years. The show already existed. This was when it was sort of, you know, very much finding its feet, the show.
46:01 - 46:15
Yeah. Yeah. No, but it does talk a lot about like sort of when I would say football was good when football was really fun and brilliant and entertaining and everyone loved it.
46:15 - 46:29
So spoiled in the late nineties, early two thousands. Do you think, cause I wonder it's just football is the best when you're sort of between 10 and, you know, 10 is the best for me is the pinnacle right of any sport because you're,
46:29 - 46:39
you just, it's just magic. This thing is just magic. And the older you get a, the more other bits of your life start happening, but also you sort of peel back the curtain a bit.
46:39 - 46:43
And if you peel back the curtain of any big sport, it's actually like grimly depressing.
46:43 - 46:49
You might be right. I mean, when I was 10, that was when United won the champions league.
46:49 - 46:58
When was that? 99. It was just before I turned 11 and you watch that and you go, Oh, well, this is the greatest thing.
46:58 - 47:04
This is, this is absolutely amazing. And this happens every weekend. So yeah, you do get suckered into sports sometimes, don't you?
47:04 - 47:10
You do sort of hope it's an amazing thing that gives you hope. And it really shouldn't.
47:10 - 47:15
I don't medically proven. It's not good for you. So presumably that podcast is like an absolute crock of shite.
47:15 - 47:22
So then you, it's good. It's good. I bet it is. So then you finish the dog walk.
47:22 - 47:26
Is the podcast so good you have to just stay at the front door? And just keep listening.
47:26 - 47:30
You can't get on with what you're doing. No, I don't do that. When we get back, we're back.
47:30 - 47:37
We're in. And then food. Then it's tea time. It's going to be like Brian Butterfield's treat day.
47:37 - 47:45
That's what I'm hoping for. He cooks up like a whole deer in prime. He cooks it in prime energy drink.
47:45 - 47:53
And that's how he does it. No, because doing the podcast is genuinely a really big effort for me and my wife.
47:53 - 47:59
Cause we need to pretend. Like we've got some kind of energy or that we give a shit about anything.
47:59 - 48:04
So on a Thursday, we have a curry. We have a Thursday night curry. And that's what we look forward to.
48:04 - 48:12
I can rattle my order off. If you're interested, please. I go with a Vindaloo sauce, nothing in it.
48:12 - 48:20
Just the sauce. Wow. Wow. Like a smoothie. Like a sort of Vindaloo milkshake. Yeah.
48:20 - 48:25
It's a Vindaloo sauce. It's an amazing start for someone who's not consumed anything all day.
48:25 - 48:31
Please tell me you put it in a glass. I pour that over chips. I get chips instead of rice.
48:31 - 48:36
Yeah. I just think rice is boring. I'm dribbling. I'm starting to sort of salivate.
48:36 - 48:44
And a tandoori king prawn. Great. I have a bed of chips, prawn on top.
48:44 - 48:50
Yeah. Vindaloo drizzled all over that. And you haven't eaten all day. I am literally like salivating.
48:50 - 49:00
A naan. Garlic naan. Okay. Garlic naan. Garlic naan. Sparges, poppadoms. Wow. And do you get a knife and fork or is it like a trough?
49:00 - 49:05
Like, are you so loveless? It's just a spoon. It's just a spoon. It's just a spoon.
49:05 - 49:10
It just gets shoveled in. It just gets shoveled in. Are your kids with you?
49:10 - 49:18
Have the kids had dinner as well? The kids, on a Thursday, the kids can get like a McDonald's or something like that because I want a curry.
49:18 - 49:24
I don't want to have to faff about with making other meals and they're welcome to have a curry with us if they want.
49:24 - 49:27
But they don't. They don't like it. So they're idiots kids, aren't they? They're stupid.
49:27 - 49:32
They'll get a McDonald's or a pizza or something like that, which is fine. Nothing wrong with that.
49:32 - 49:37
What a great dinner. Do you take your time eating it or do you just wolf it all in?
49:37 - 49:45
Do you smash it down? Well, there's a lot going on. So I both wolf it and it still takes me a long time to eat it.
49:45 - 49:51
It's like sprinting a marathon when I have a curry. That's what I was hoping.
49:51 - 49:59
If you don't eat, although your stomach sort of contracts, so your stomach is going, this is a confusing day, but this is every day is just one big camel-like meal.
49:59 - 50:08
One great big meal that gets me through it. And then if you're interested, on the TV, because we like to take a curry into the living room, quite literally spice things up.
50:08 - 50:14
We've been married for 13 years or something like that. We chuck on a bit of CSI Miami.
50:14 - 50:24
This is the greatest evening of all time. So can I just check, have you served the curry in the kitchen because you don't want the mess and you've taken the plate in or is it everything on the table,
50:24 - 50:30
in front of me? Everything's on a not fit for purpose coffee table in the living room.
50:30 - 50:37
The containers and everything's on there because I also like to keep the containers as well because I like to dip and things like that once I've finished my meal.
50:37 - 50:47
Yeah, me and Helen, so our coffee table, it's just a normal coffee table, but if you pull out both sides, it extends like boom.
50:47 - 50:56
You get another kind of two feet in the middle and you know you've overordered when we're going to have to extend this bad, boy, clonk.
50:56 - 51:03
Box, box, box, box, box, box, box, box. Yeah. Can I check, is that you and Claire's meal or is that just yours?
51:03 - 51:08
That's just mine. Yeah. And it's not her day, I understand that, but has she consumed anything as well or is this a family?
51:08 - 51:14
She does get to, yeah. She does. If I feel that she's done a good performance on the podcast that day, she will get a badge, yeah.
51:14 - 51:19
Can she allow breakfast? Does she allow breakfast? Yeah, I think she does. I think so, yeah.
51:19 - 51:26
A cup of tea, a bit of toast or something like that. Right. But I'm just, I've always been, I've never, I've never had breakfast like from when I was a kid.
51:26 - 51:37
Or a lunch, Shams. Or a lunch. No. Like after that it's gone in, A, the euphoria for your body just going, I've got something, but B, the confusion that you've had a vindaloo smoothie and chips.
51:37 - 51:42
But you also must be exhausted. Like the whole thing must be just too much.
51:42 - 51:49
Yeah, I think that's why I love going to bed so much because it is, it's probably about half seven, eight now.
51:49 - 51:56
Yeah. And I'm like, oh no, now we've got to clear up. And I just, I'm done.
51:56 - 52:02
I've hit a wall. I can't, I can't do this. I don't know how I'm going to get through this.
52:02 - 52:12
Like there's a period where me and my wife are just laying there, just sort of on the couch and just looking going, we've got to do this.
52:12 - 52:20
How are we going to do this? I'm going to say this day is very unalike the guy who's trying to live forever.
52:20 - 52:29
I'd like to retract that. That's why I started laughing when you said that. I do, you know, and if it's not, if it's not an Indian takeaway or something like that,
52:29 - 52:35
like my favorite meals are cooked in the oven. And by that, I mean, they're frozen first beforehand.
52:35 - 52:44
Like I love a turkey drummer and, you know, some potato waffles and things like, I still eat like that, which is terrible.
52:44 - 52:50
I'm not going to make it to 60. You look great. You do look amazing. For someone, you should just have gout everywhere.
52:50 - 52:56
But like, yeah, you've had two Stellas and a Vindaloo, sauce on chips and some onion barges.
52:56 - 53:06
It's an amazing day. You should look like Henry VIII. I definitely should have gout, yeah, because I'll have sausage, beans and smiley faces and I'll wash that down with pork.
53:06 - 53:16
Do you have a drink with dinner? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. How many episodes of CSI Miami are we down?
53:16 - 53:22
Sometimes two, sometimes two in one evening. Great. And what happened in this episode? What was it last night?
53:22 - 53:29
Some guy got shot. In a parking lot. Yeah, that's what they call it, didn't they?
53:29 - 53:34
Was it just a one-up yesterday with the curry? It was one-up, yeah. It was one-up and then I got a bit tired.
53:34 - 53:41
It was full of curry and beer. Have the kids had homework and stuff like that or have they taken care of all of this themselves?
53:41 - 53:47
Didn't ask yesterday. Didn't even bother asking. I'll be honest with you. Did they watch CSI with you?
53:47 - 53:54
No, they're watching their cartoons, their weird cartoons. Because that's the thing as well, right?
53:54 - 53:59
If they've got homework, I've got homework. I don't know why this is a thing.
53:59 - 54:06
I never had anyone doing homework with me when I was a kid and this is what I keep telling my kids as well.
54:06 - 54:13
I keep going to them, I've already done this. I've gone through this whole thing and I know how rubbish it is and now I'm doing it all over again.
54:13 - 54:19
Why is this happening to me? Can you remember how to do long division and stuff like that?
54:19 - 54:29
No, I can't. I can't at all. I remember this formula. Minus B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC all over 2A.
54:29 - 54:34
Now, I have no idea what that is for. Run it by me one more time.
54:34 - 54:41
I did double maths, I love it. Minus B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC all over 2A.
54:41 - 54:46
I just know, Max, at some point in my life, it's going to be really useful.
54:46 - 54:58
You know what I mean? There'll be some... Yeah, it's going to be an M. Night Shyamalan movie thing that goes on and you're going to be in a hostage situation, but you can remember that equation and that saves the day.
54:58 - 55:04
Yeah, trapped in a labyrinth. If only someone could work out how wide this angle is.
55:04 - 55:16
Wait a second here. So, we tidy up then. You've got... I would imagine how you tidy this up is not a leaf blower, you know, the sort of giant garbage vacuums.
55:16 - 55:30
You just suck up all of the cartons. It's pretty much plates and cutlery and everything. They just get scooped into a big black bag and then that gets thrown out the window.
55:30 - 55:39
Did you eat every morsel? Oh, great question. Well, I am one of those people that, like, finishes their plate. Well, obviously you only have one a day so it's good.
55:39 - 55:53
But I do think that's meant to be quite unhealthy, isn't it? You're meant to just stop when you fall. I think a lot of this day, you know, nutritionists could look at. Do you do a giant dump, James?
55:54 - 56:09
After us? Straight away? Yeah, yeah. It's before bed. And sometimes I can feel and this is like, I think this would be my superpower if I was a comic book hero. I can feel if I'm going to need one in a couple of hours time.
56:09 - 56:16
I get like a little twinge in my abdomen and I'm like, we're nearly there.
56:16 - 56:25
We're not there yet. Marvel are going to have to really run out of other characters before they make that movie. I think they're there.
56:25 - 56:30
I mean, I know you're making a joke but I don't think they're too far off.
56:30 - 56:37
I think we're getting really close. And once I can tap into some of that Marvel money, you won't be laughing then.
56:37 - 56:46
James Buckley is the twinge. I mean, that must be a euphoric experience as well.
56:46 - 56:57
Yeah, it can be. Sometimes I get a bit dizzy. I'm not sure how much detail I'm allowed to get into this. Sometimes I push so hard and so long, I forget to breathe.
56:57 - 57:04
Sometimes when I've had a proper turnout I can be quite light-headed afterwards. Is that the line?
57:04 - 57:12
That's perfect. That's absolutely perfect. Is it another walk of the dog? No, because you've only...
57:12 - 57:16
I just discovered this. It was literally last night when I was like, why is he being so...
57:16 - 57:29
I know he's a puppy and I know he's got lots of energy and a lot of breeds of dogs have this thing called zoomies where I think it's usually around the evening time where they just start treating your living room as if it's some kind of obstacle course
57:29 - 57:41
and they do laps and things like that. But last night he was just even more so and I was like, there's something not right here. He's got way too much energy. I'm not walking him enough.
57:41 - 57:48
And then I looked it up and I was like, I spoke to my wife Claire and I was like, I think he needs double the walks. She was like, yeah,
57:48 - 57:53
I think you're right. Is it just a bed then, James? Do you have a bath? I would like a bath.
57:54 - 57:59
Have you washed today? I did say I mentioned that's when I get ready. Me getting ready for something is having a shower.
57:59 - 58:04
There's only blokes getting ready for something, isn't it? That's all there is in the shower.
58:04 - 58:14
But I think David was insinuating I think, I don't want to suggest anything that maybe after this ordeal of the dinner and then you could have perhaps done with a wash.
58:14 - 58:17
But maybe there needs to be a clean up. Let me stop you right there.
58:17 - 58:26
Because I use flushable wet wipes. Medicinal flushable wet wipes, by the way. Not that there's anything going on down there at the moment.
58:26 - 58:37
Offense is a really good defense in that area, I think. I don't know. I use anisole wet wipes.
58:37 - 58:45
That's more detail than we've had. What are they called? They're called anisole. They're preparation H wet wipes. They're sort of hemorrhoid wet wipes. Oh, yeah.
58:45 - 58:56
I guess possibly the diet is contributing to the big submarine. The processed foods. The dreadnought chemicals and enemas and stuff.
58:56 - 59:05
Not even slowly killing me probably at this stage. So when you said defense is the best part of offense, you could bring that earlier.
59:05 - 59:11
Could really, couldn't I? But I think it's a day of joy. I don't know about you.
59:11 - 59:15
I hope we gave enough of a build up to that meal. It's like a feast, isn't it?
59:15 - 59:29
It's like the end of a war. The Greeks had just come back from defeating whoever the Greeks would defeat and yeah, but that's every Thursday. Every Thursday, yeah. It's great. Can't believe my luck.
59:29 - 59:33
Sometimes I do sit there and I just think it is good to be the king.
59:33 - 59:41
Do you struggle to sleep after a meal like that though, James? No. It's just sat in there.
59:41 - 59:55
No, no, no. I struggle to stay awake, honestly. Like after, literally five minutes after eating that, it's like I'm some kind of smack addict or something. Sort of dribbling into myself on a couch watching CSI Miami.
59:55 - 1:00:07
So you've flushable wet wiped. There's a whistle down there. Yeah, yeah. No doubt, no doubt. And then into bed? Into bed, yeah.
1:00:07 - 1:00:11
The kids can take care of themselves in the evening? Yeah, they can. Yeah, they're pretty good.
1:00:11 - 1:00:19
To be fair, I think they've inherited their, my love of going to bed. Especially my oldest.
1:00:19 - 1:00:25
My oldest absolutely like, he loves going to bed. He's just, I mean, he's great, isn't he?
1:00:25 - 1:00:31
He's a good guy to sleep. Yeah. If you're waking up at five, are you turning in at about ten then?
1:00:31 - 1:00:35
Ten, eleven? Just steady on. You know, because I'm imagining. Did you just throw ten, eleven out at me?
1:00:35 - 1:00:43
I'm not saying ten or eleven, come on. Good, good. We have a lot of working comedians on and they're all out until eleven, midnight.
1:00:43 - 1:00:49
And I'm like, obviously I'm working now, but if I wasn't, I'd have been asleep for two hours. Absolutely.
1:00:49 - 1:01:01
I mean, especially comedians as well, because I've got a lot of, my pals are comedians and stuff, you know, doing the stand-up and stuff. And it's like, they all meet up afterwards at one o'clock in the morning to have a meal and talk about how they got
1:01:01 - 1:01:06
on that evening and stuff. And I'm like, what are you doing, guys? What's going on?
1:01:06 - 1:01:21
I mean, this has been a unique day. Do you, in order to get to sleep, James, do you read or listen to something? Do you have a podcast on? We do both fall asleep to the television. Great.
1:01:21 - 1:01:29
We usually put like a sort of cartoon on, just like the kids. It'll be a cartoon that's not appropriate for children.
1:01:29 - 1:01:39
It'll be something like Family Guy or Bob's Burgers or something like that. Great. We stick that on and just fall into a coma. So my question, going right back to the start of the day, when you wake up at five,
1:01:39 - 1:01:49
is the TV on? Or is like somebody... No, because we put the timer on. There's a timer on the television. Set it for 60 minutes or 90 minutes or something like that. It'll turn itself off.
1:01:49 - 1:01:55
How do you feel about that day? That's a good day. Is that a good day? I think so. That's a good way to live your life, isn't it?
1:01:55 - 1:02:01
I mean, that's sort of the busiest day I have during the week. Thank you, James. Thanks, guys.
1:02:01 - 1:02:05
Thanks for having me on. I hope that was all right. I mean, that was literally all I did yesterday.
1:02:05 - 1:02:13
We didn't want any more. You got an email saying, please be truthful. There's no way you made up that dinner. Yeah, exactly.
1:02:13 - 1:02:19
I trust you implicitly. Maybe my favorite evening that we've had so far. It's perfect.
1:02:19 - 1:02:24
Absolutely perfect. That's what I'd want to do on my birthday or, you know, or an anniversary.
1:02:24 - 1:02:30
And the problem is that my wife's the same. My wife's the same as well, so it's sort of enablers.
1:02:30 - 1:02:45
I want to listen to your Valentine's Day pod. I think we've been out for dinner about five times in the 15 years or something that we've been together. I think we've gone out for dinner about five times. I think you found the thing that is perfect for you
1:02:45 - 1:03:05
guys. Maybe that's I'm not saying this podcast ends with a Springer's moment or whatever, but in this life, are we not all just searching for someone that we can have a liquid vindaloo on chips over a prawn and
1:03:05 - 1:03:13
just guiltlessly sit there stuffing it into your face. It's a perfect day. Thank you very much, James. Thank you.
1:03:23 - 1:03:29
So there was James Buckley. This isn't off menu, right? Yeah. And this isn't just, what's your day on a plate?
1:03:29 - 1:03:39
But I cannot, and we've just stopped recording, you know, and we're not here to judge who's, he's like, this is actually, aren't you meant to like, what's that intermittent fasting? He's intermittent fasting.
1:03:39 - 1:03:55
I know the, I know when you don't intermittent fast, you know, the meal shouldn't be a vindaloo smoothie on chips with like, you know, tandoori king prawns, mani bajis and a naan. But like, this is astonishing. It's astonishing. He's alive. If that's it, that's not every
1:03:55 - 1:04:01
day, I guess. The spell is, isn't it? I can't function if I don't, fair enough.
1:04:01 - 1:04:05
I get away with just some toast and peanut butter in the morning or whatever.
1:04:05 - 1:04:23
But then by about 12 o'clock, it's all, the systems are all starting to like, just a broken locomotive sound is coming from me. And then I need to have a big old, like decadent lunch. And
1:04:23 - 1:04:33
then again, by about five o'clock things are starting to scream more. We need more food. Whereas yeah, he just just plows on.
1:04:33 - 1:04:38
But that's so interesting because I say all of my day is thinking about what the next meal is.
1:04:38 - 1:04:45
Enjoying the meal, thinking about how much I enjoyed that meal until it's time to think about what the next meal is.
1:04:45 - 1:04:51
But that's generally all I'm doing all day. What are the things I can have?
1:04:51 - 1:05:03
But maybe I've never enjoyed a curry that much. Yeah. Like James enjoyed that. I love to eat like literally a curry and CSI I'm in for.
1:05:03 - 1:05:13
Yeah. Yeah. It's a fascinating any scientists listening is yeah, maybe the human body is evolving this way.
1:05:13 - 1:05:18
I brought up the fact the first time I ever brought up this man who's trying to live forever.
1:05:18 - 1:05:30
And it was like a man to a man who consumes nothing. That's two massive bowls of Stella at lunchtime and then a curry for dinner.
1:05:30 - 1:05:44
Just seemed I could have seen any other guests meals would have been better suited to the man trying to live forever. But do you know what, Max, when it started off with him awake at five or five thirty,
1:05:44 - 1:05:55
I my first thought was like, oh, this will really appeal to like our dairy farming listeners because he's going to get up. He's going to have all these things done by twelve o'clock.
1:05:55 - 1:06:05
And I think they're probably our most horrified listeners right now. The farming community that hang on the every word of this podcast.
1:06:05 - 1:06:25
Thank you very much, though, James. Thank you, James. It was fascinating. And it's like, just imagine the chips, smelling the chips. If I hadn't eaten for 24 hours and someone put some chips near me, I just wouldn't...
1:06:25 - 1:06:30
I think I'd start sort of shaking. I think my whole body, like you say, I'd just be like...
1:06:30 - 1:06:45
Anyway, yeah. If you live similarly, please get in touch. It's how. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:06:45 - 1:06:52
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:06:52 - 1:07:01
And if you didn't, please don't. And that'll do for another episode. We'll be back for some midweek mayhem, David.
1:07:01 - 1:07:06
But, you know, for the time being, thank you, mate. Live every day like tomorrow, you're recording an episode of What Did You Do Yesterday?