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Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.
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Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
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Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.
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Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? I am now recording. Hello, everybody. Hello, and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
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Do you know what? Do you know what, David? I've been waiting for you to take over the hard chair.
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I could do with phoning it in. What episode are we, Max? See, that's what you always ask me, and I've never thought of a smart or interesting answer, because obviously I don't know what number episode this is.
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Well, you see, we've got series two running along, you know, on the weekends with the guests.
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Yes. And this is for the ultras, and this is midweek mayhem episode. I'm going to say six, but it might be four, might be eight.
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Don't know. Can I give you some shocking news? Yeah. This is from James. Dear David and Max, greetings from Berlin.
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I'm here for the Berlinale Film Festival and catching up on your recent episodes. You wouldn't believe my horror when I saw the premiere of a new film starring Ben Whishaw and Rebecca Hall called Peter Hoo-Yah's Day.
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The film tells the truth. It's the true story of Linda Rosencrantz, who in 1974 interviewed photographer Peter Hoo-Yah and asked him the question, what did you do yesterday?
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Rosencrantz had a full series in mind to interview well-known celebrities and simply asked them what they did yesterday.
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I'm not saying your podcast is a stolen idea, or am I? But I wanted you to make aware that the phrase, what did you do yesterday, has been deeply discussed by the highest level intellectuals in the arts industry around the world.
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You're rubbing shoulders. With the best of the best, love the mood, keep up the great work.
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What does this mean, David? I would like to just make it clear to lawyers who are listening on behalf of that film that this is entirely Max's idea, this podcast.
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Therefore, legally, I bear no responsibility for the fact that he stole Linda Rosencrantz's idea from the early 70s.
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Thank you. Can we just say that? Unless it's been an amazing ruse from me, the fact that I couldn't even, name you a Samuel Beckett play would suggest that I had not heard of the interview series from Linda Rosencrantz in 1974.
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But the real question is, why are we not at the premiere? Surely we are the first two people that should be invited to the Berlinale.
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I think if I said to Mrs. Rushden, I know we had a second child three weeks ago, but I must to Berlin for the premiere of Peter Huya's day.
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It's true. It's when people think of yesterday, these days, we are the first thing that comes to mind.
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I think so. Yeah. Even, yeah, the Beatles song yesterday. Now all the comments underneath that are, they ripped this off, David and Max.
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Should we sue the Beatles? Should we give it a go? It'd be good publicity, wouldn't it?
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Graham in Bristol on celebrities stealing coffees. Graham says, re-Midweek Madness, what did you do yesterday?
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Episode seven. This must be episode eight. And you speaking about Russell Howard stealing a coffee.
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It made me think of my own story of a celeb taking a warm beverage that wasn't there.
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Back in July, 2022, there was a heat wave in London reaching impressive heights of 38 degrees.
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It was awful. It was worse for my wife, however, as she was at the time, 40 weeks pregnant.
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To help things move along one morning before the intense heat of the day, we walked to our local cafe and ordered a few lattes.
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While we waited, none other than Martin Luther King Jr. Mark Pugach strolled in and asked for a cup of tea.
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Now, Mark Pugach, this is where you come in, David, and say, for those who don't know, is approaching national treasure status, I would say.
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So hang on. He's an ITV guy, though, because we don't really get ITV in Ireland.
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Okay, so he does the World Cup. So he'll do, you know, the Euros, the World Cup.
4:52 - 5:03
He'll do the Rugby World Cup. Talented, very nice guy. He says, despite clearly being behind us in the queue, when the next drink was ready at the cafe, he asked the clearly very hungover teenage barista if it was his.
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As said teenager struggled to form the word no, Pugac instinctively took the drink and set off on his merry way.
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It was only after he'd made about 20 yards, had a sip, then realised what had happened and swiftly returned, apologising profusely.
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However, in my eyes, forever, he will be the bastard who stole my wife's coffee out of her very pregnant hands.
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All the best, Graham in Bristol. It's interesting. I think the big difference between Pugac and you is that you don't eat.
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You don't even sip from it. You just look at it and see that you're unhappy with the level that it has been filled to.
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This is simply too much. Whatever your weird drink is, six flat whites in an ice bucket or whatever the thing that you want, and then you can't believe that they don't understand what a...
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I asked for a geraboum of latte. Now, I got in touch with Mark Pugac because, you know, because, as we've...
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As we've established, I'm the only one with any connections on this podcast. And he said...
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He just said, bang to rights. Yeah. Hope you're well. Laughing, crying emoji, but the one at an angle.
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I normally go for faces still at the same normal level rather than at 45 degrees laughing, but that's what Pugac has gone for.
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I, funnily enough, like to respond just with the what emoji. Just my mouth is a perfect circle.
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Because that gets you out of most of those. So if I was Pugac there, I'd have three of those.
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Yeah. As in like, oh, you got me. Bang to rights. Hope all well. Max, please stop emailing ITV and asking them for my job.
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Matthew Stevenson says, hi, Max and David. Listening to the latest podcast reminded me of a time when ex-England goalkeeper, and he hasn't given the name, stole my naan while I waited to collect my Indian takeaway.
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I'm sure he was innocent in this and it was a genuine, genuine error on his part.
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I was left naan-less and have never been back to the same establishment since. Keep up the good work.
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So Matthew needs to get back in touch and tell us which ex-England goalkeeper that was, unless there's been a production failure in the cutting and pasting.
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Wow. Can only presume it was David Seaman. It might have been Peter Shilton. No, there was no naans in the Shilton era, I think.
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I think so. But he's still alive. It could have been, it wasn't like, I don't think he was in full kit.
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I don't, I don't know. I think naan bread existed when Italia 90 was on. Don't you?
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It is a problem if you're doing, if you're a goalkeeper doing crimes and you're in the post era where your name is written across the back of your jersey.
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Yeah, that's true. If you do it in full kit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it favours the earlier era where you just had a number because then it could be is it Ray Clements?
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Yeah, because they alternate crimes, Shilton and Clements, don't they? That's, that's one for the, non-footballing crowd or anyone, anyone under 30 going, what are you talking about?
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Amanda Fox says, on herons, on herons. It sounds like a, that's a Sam, that's a Sam Beckett essay.
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I'm sure it is. On herons. By Amanda Fox. Dear Max and David, I've listened to every episode of the pod.
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I really enjoy it. Like Max, I'm an Australian based Brit, Sheffield, Gordon Bread, and I teach music to preschoolers at Wollongong Cons, at Wollongong Conserv, Conservatorium.
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Can't say it. Conservatorium. Conservatorium. Conservatorium. What's happening to me? Yeah. I don't know what you were going for there.
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Some words I can see, you know, there's a, there's a gym near me in Dublin called Perpetua, but I insist when I see it, I call it Perpetua.
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Oh, Perpetua is what a group on The Apprentice would say their team name should be.
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Isn't it? Yeah. Just say your team A, get it done. We're team A, it's fine.
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Right, let's get on with the task. Anyway, the concert of, oh, fuck, the con, she writes, thankfully, is located in the beautiful botanic gardens.
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And consequently, we're frequently visited by wildlife, deer, wallabies, and lots of birds. I also play and teach clarinet.
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Wow. And I take the opportunity to practice once my small musical geniuses have left the building.
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Recently, I was distracted from the piece I was playing by a rhythmic tapping. I stopped playing and the tapping stopped.
9:28 - 9:37
I continued playing and the tapping resumed. I eventually realized that a heron was looking in on me and providing percussion on the floor-to-ceiling windows.
9:37 - 9:44
In short, herons may well have a preference for the clarinet repertoire. Did we get onto herons in the clarinet?
9:44 - 9:53
Do you remember? We definitely did. Well, we've certainly shot on about clarinets and by we, I mean you have a lot.
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Someone was listening and was putting out something as a heron deterrent. That's it. That's right.
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The heron deterrent. The heron was stealing the goldfish from someone's pond. And have you ever had this while you were clarinetting away?
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Have you ever had little snow white style someday my prince will come scene where animals will start joining in with you?
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No, at no point have I been playing clarinet and a badger popped out to do a little dance.
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Lots of people got in touch including Noel Chu to say hi, Doddles and Max.
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A quick note to let you know, Max, the scary cream bun film that I was talking about was Young Sherlock Holmes where a young Watson was darted with a blowpipe by a member of an Egyptian death cult and started having hallucinations about cream horns jumping on his face
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and into his mouth. I adored that film and went to my local cinema to see it.
10:51 - 11:02
I still have the book. Love the pod. Yeah, I remember that as I also fail to recall when we were discussing Young Sherlock Holmes and the cream buns that came to life.
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Do you think, Max, maybe our producer, Mars Bar, has created AI versions of us that are doing all these other episodes of this where they discuss, for example, Egyptian death cults and stuff?
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I'm just nodding along now. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Conor Bryan says, the bootlace worm, this is on the longest sea creature, which we established with the jellyfish the other day.
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The bootlace worm lineus longissimus reaches length of 60 meters, almost a third longer than the lion's mane jellyfish.
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Thanks for the pod. Thank you, Con. Oh, I checked it out. I'm stopping. The lion's mane jellyfish.
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So according to your Christmas quiz, which now the difficulty with your Christmas quiz is that you hadn't sourced any of the answers.
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You know, if I was doing a quiz, I would say stuff like, according to National Geographic, what is blah, blah, blah.
12:00 - 12:07
No, I just got on Google. So, but I thought the lion's mane jellyfish was a hundred, oh, maybe a hundred feet.
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It's longer than a blue whale. But is this worm even longer than a blue whale then?
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Do you know, I checked out the worm and it's too tiddly. I mean, it's long, but it's just not got enough about it to count.
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That was the decision that I made when I Googled it today. That's what I spend my day doing.
12:25 - 12:35
Well, you are a veritable, Norris McWhirter. Norris McWhirter never used the words, it's not got enough about it to count for this record, unfortunately.
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Should we get on to cheese? Oh yeah, go on. First of all, I got a lot of criticism from my friend Davo, the osteopath from Melbourne.
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He got quite aggressive. He sent me a message at 9.26 in the evening the other day.
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No mozzarella on a cheese board. The fuck's wrong with you? And then he said, I know your taste in food and left your own devices.
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You'd prepare the shittest cheese board. And then he reeled off a lot of mozzarella's because I think I'd said mozzarella had no place on a cheese board.
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He then sent me the hamper emporiums how to make the perfect cheese board and referred me to paragraph three, which says for a soft cheese, it's hard to pass up a good quality brie.
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Ricotta, mozzarella or feta are other great options for more variety on your cheese plate.
13:19 - 13:26
So my apologies to Dave. Wow, does everyone text you with this level of aggression?
13:27 - 13:31
He seems to go really studs up. He did go in two-footed on this. Yeah.
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Amongst my friends, my very plain tastes in food are seen as a flaw. I like spaghetti bolognese and I like cheddar cheese.
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And I'm 45. You're not going to change me. No, that's it. Olive, would you like an olive or would you just be like, these are like grapes, but they're not.
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Do you know what? I'm really sort of working into olives. And I think by the time I'm in my mid-50s, I'll be positively pro-olive.
14:01 - 14:07
At this stage, I'm sort of, yeah, fine. But I wouldn't want to, you know, I wouldn't take an olive off a pizza.
14:07 - 14:11
I feel a bit of judgment coming from Dublin here. No, no, no, no. I don't.
14:11 - 14:20
That's the thing about me. Only God can judge you. But what I'm trying to find here with this olive line of questioning is what's the limit?
14:20 - 14:29
What's the most exotic thing? Sparkling water? Have you ever tried sparkling water? What now?
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I don't know what you mean. Do you know what I think it is? I have a really, really sensitive sense of smell.
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I think more sensitive than most people. So like, I think I experience odors in a more profound way than people that can handle really smelly foods.
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But because on my nose is like, I'm like a sommelier on it. I just, it's all too much for me.
14:56 - 15:07
I, see, I maintain I am this guy as in the Helen Copter, there's a scented candle in the kitchen in this place.
15:07 - 15:16
And we have a constant unspoken war of me placing a saucer over it. So the awful smell doesn't destroy my day.
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But then yesterday, I flew back from Manchester and bought my dad his aftershave because my dad has had a generation where he still believes that aftershave has some medicinal thing where you'll say like,
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it closes the pores or something, which I think scientifically has been absolutely proven to not be the case.
15:39 - 15:50
But I bought him. Brute. Yeah. Girlane. And in order to make sure it was definitely the right one, I squished a load of them onto my hand.
15:50 - 15:56
And then my left hand reeked of aftershave. I wouldn't be an aftershave guy. No, me neither.
15:56 - 16:04
For the whole day then, I had one honking, big, horny, heterosex hand. Yeah, I know what you mean.
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I can't even, I can't really even do a spray deodorant. I'm a roll-on, you know.
16:09 - 16:16
Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because it's too much. It's too much. Well, I mean, this is really oversharing, Max.
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I've never used deodorant. I just, yeah, it just, it's never, yeah, I don't know.
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It's possible everyone talks about how smelly I am. God's honest truth. I've never thought, oh man, David, and I just don't have the heart to tell him.
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I've never thought that. Thanks, brother. Wow, that's really interesting. So you just, you just naturally clean yourself.
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Yeah, I mean, there was an era in school where everyone used links, loads and loads of links.
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And I think that's what probably you put pay to it because it was so overpowering.
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Yeah. You like that Obelix land going in the pot of magic potion. You were just in a changing room, a closed changing room and everyone sprayed links Africa and you just,
17:03 - 17:10
that was it for you. You could no longer go near it. I'm imagining that's an asterisk reference.
17:10 - 17:18
Yes, it is. Yes. Yeah. It's so specific. Your references like that to most of our listeners.
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What's that? Just a weird French comic from the 60s and 70s. I'm saying 95% of this audience know that Obelix landed in a pot of magic potion when he was a child and therefore couldn't have the magic potion.
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Although in one of the books he did have it. No one knows that. Nobody knows that.
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At the risk of upsetting producer Mars Bart, I think if everybody emailed in to say they knew or they didn't know it would be like a poll, 95, a Morrie Ipsos poll.
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We'll get Morrie Ipsos to work out, I'd say 95% of the audience know about Obelix.
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Obelix and the magic potion. Right, come on, let's get on with the cheese game.
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Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Curdle Master Rhyme, What Did You Fondue Yesterday? Five.
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Four. Three. Two. One. I've got cheese! This is cheese! Okay, so last week Iris guessed and Castle Blue is in the right place.
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She also got Manchego, right cheese, wrong place. So this is from Joe Sterner or Joe's Turner via iTunes review, of course.
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We will only accept guesses with a five-star review and guesses put on the iTunes with that.
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And thank you, everybody. I don't know if that's helped us go up the algorithm charts, but we did get lots of people putting cheeses.
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If you just stumbled on the podcast, you'd be like, why is it, why? These reviews make no sense at all, but we don't care.
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Joe says, this would be so much easier if it was Max's cheese board, Babybel cheese string, sliced craft cheese, Philadelphia Cathedral City.
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I love the part he says, I can't wait till you run out of comedians.
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We get to find out what Steve Guppy eats for breakfast and how often he takes a dump.
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Here we go. Are you ready? Are you ready? Yeah. Do you want to buzz Joe in?
20:00 - 20:13
Oh, wow. Three out of three. Sensational stuff. It's the note at the end. You really get it.
20:13 - 20:20
Like, I think most people would like, they just wouldn't get that final bit. It's really, it's so remarkable.
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Okay. Cashel Blue. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Manchego. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Wow.
20:30 - 20:36
So, yeah. Yes. Wow. Okay. We've got two greens now. This is enormous. Joe's Turner.
20:36 - 20:45
It's a three cheese board, everybody. Gubbin. Now, that's a good one because it's a very Irish cheese.
20:45 - 20:52
So, what Joe's has tried to do is put himself into the O'Doherty mind spot.
20:52 - 21:02
Oh, that's great work. Gorgonzola. Lincoln's Chipocha. What the hell is that? I don't know.
21:02 - 21:09
It's a cheese, isn't it? Okay. There we go. So, we're now on a three cheese board.
21:09 - 21:21
We're slowly getting very exciting, but nobody knows what those three cheeses are. Obviously, if you listen back to other episodes, you'll know the other cheeses that have been knocked out.
21:21 - 21:27
Yes. Oh, you should thank the people at the tour, the people on tour. Oh, my goodness.
21:27 - 21:40
I did a gig in the Albert Hall in Manchester the night before last. And when I came back after the gig, Kim and Mo had left.
21:40 - 21:47
Okay, not just five cheeses, but Kim or Mo had made a little plinth for the cheeses.
21:47 - 21:57
Amazing. Like, it had clearly been cut out bits of fancy paper. And so each cheese sits on a little green, shiny bit.
21:57 - 22:04
And the note says, this is a five-star review for what you did yesterday. Trying to get around the rules there, Max.
22:04 - 22:11
That's why we absolutely do not count this, unfortunately. No, it's very nice. It says, DOD and Mr. Rush and keep up the good work.
22:11 - 22:16
Lots of love, Kim and Mo. But like, yeah. But interestingly, had Cashel Blue and Manchego in the right places?
22:16 - 22:28
It did have those two. Yeah. And the thing is, if we'd never started this podcast, those nice two people would never have sat at home cutting out little bits of green paper, giving you a cheese board.
22:28 - 22:32
That would never, ever have happened. If it did, it would have confused you greatly.
22:32 - 22:48
Also, like, I'm not saying what I do is an athletic event, but it was an unconventional thing to finish the gig and by way of a recovery, just start eating cheese maybe 30 seconds after the gig ended.
22:48 - 22:56
Yeah, you don't get that at the end of the London Marathon. No. Yeah, you don't get, you get like malt loaf and a cup of tea and a bottle of water.
22:56 - 23:04
You just don't get a hunk of brie to say, well done. Well done. Hey, I think it's my yesterday.
23:04 - 23:14
I think it's my yesterday that we're doing now. Yeah, I did the last one and I'm intrigued to know the first yesterday since doubling the size of your family.
23:14 - 23:20
Max Rushden, what did you do yesterday? I mean, my family went from three to four.
23:21 - 23:26
So I don't want to be a pedant, but we were up 25% or up 33%. Not sure.
23:26 - 23:40
We haven't doubled. Okay. Okay. So, so it's very hard to say at what point I woke up because there's a two week old baby in my bed or at the end of my bed at all times.
23:40 - 23:44
And they are not really focused on the job in hand at this stage. Oh, really?
23:44 - 23:51
You got to try and train that into them. Just play them high performance podcasts, stuff like that.
23:51 - 23:56
Then they'll be up at five. I don't want them up at five. It's the last thing I want them to be.
23:56 - 24:05
So, so, but, but I'd say come morning, actually it was Ian, not Willie that woke me up at half past six, which is great.
24:05 - 24:12
Half past six, you take that any day of the week. So I jumped out about, jump is perhaps, is an overstretch on how I moved.
24:12 - 24:24
Mrs. Rushden and Willie were asleep and she has less, gets less sleep than I do overnight because she is feeding Willie and I'm just changing his nappy and then going back to sleep like a massive lump.
24:24 - 24:28
And she is saying, oh, I bet that's nice to lie down at two in the morning.
24:28 - 24:37
And I have no response. So I jumped out of bed and Ian, because we've told him he's not allowed to leave the room until six.
24:37 - 24:45
He is now obsessed with the time, like obsessed with it. So he will ask what the time is every minute of the day.
24:45 - 24:49
And I'm still quite enjoying it. And if he asks me, I ask him what the time is.
24:49 - 24:52
And he's getting better at telling me what I'm telling the time. It's very confusing.
24:52 - 25:01
I have been told that sometimes when I would pick my niece up from school and she says, where are mummy and daddy?
25:01 - 25:10
If you just say soon, they'll be here soon. Because she doesn't necessarily fully grasp the hours, but understands the concept of soon.
25:10 - 25:16
Whereas it seems like you have skipped that period as little Ian rushed. Yeah, Ian knows minute by minute.
25:16 - 25:23
He knows minute by minute what's going on. So he gets it. He gets a prize if he stays in his room till six.
25:23 - 25:31
At 6.30, he goes, should we get a prize? The prizes are in a blue bag hung on a hook that he can't reach in the living room.
25:31 - 25:38
So it's not like just out of reach and he's jumping up and down. He's not interested in the bag except for the morning.
25:38 - 25:49
So he gets himself a tiny toy. Yeah, he does. And a protein shake. He gets himself a tiny cart, little cart, and he's happy about that.
25:49 - 25:55
I put him in front of the TV like any good parent should and a bit of stinking and dirty.
25:55 - 26:04
And I, on my laptop while I'm making him porridge, start to watch a 25-minute cut down of Tottenham Hotspur 1, Manchester United 0.
26:04 - 26:13
Oh, interesting, yeah. I have a bowl of Weetabix with some Sultana brand on top as a sort of, you know, I'm not doing a lot of exercise at the moment because I've, you know,
26:13 - 26:17
it's just another child in the house. And so I'm thinking I should start healthy.
26:17 - 26:23
All right. Just if I can cut across. You were there, you had Weetabix. Remember, you did not have...
26:23 - 26:27
Oh, yes, Weetabix. A lot of the listeners might have thought you put the A in there.
26:27 - 26:35
You had a completely different product. It's in a blue pack, does not feature Brian or any of the...
26:35 - 26:43
Do you remember they anthropomorphised Weetabix for a while? Yeah. And they made them into sort of like skinhead type Londoners.
26:43 - 26:48
Did they, like a firm? Are they all Brexiteers? Are they marching on the cenotaph?
26:48 - 26:56
Are they defending... Defending the cenotaph, right, right. These Weetabix. That's what's happening. So Mrs. Rushden gets up, Willie gets up.
26:56 - 27:02
You know, we're all, you know, we're pooling around. The main conversation is I think we're doing okay at the moment.
27:02 - 27:06
I think we're sort of getting away with this. We're still talking. Everyone's sort of okay.
27:06 - 27:11
But, like, remember, not that it's important, but I finished the radio at half past midnight on a Sunday night.
27:11 - 27:16
So I've not had enough sleep for me, and it's interrupted sleep now as well.
27:16 - 27:25
Yeah. All things going well, I've got to get... Ian, I have one bike. I've got to get Ian onto the bike at 10 to 8 to get to kinder because I've got to go off to work.
27:25 - 27:31
And it's the only day where I've got an appointment really to get to. Ian is...
27:31 - 27:34
I've said to Ian, you can have one more go on the trapeze. Trapeze? With the chains.
27:34 - 27:40
He's got a little trapeze. It's not like I'm in the sky. Hang on, are you serious?
27:40 - 27:45
He's got, like, a little hang tough... He's got the rings. He's the Olympic rings, I guess.
27:45 - 27:53
He's got the rings, and the other day we bought him, he really wanted some chains, so we went to Bunnings, which is a B&Q.
27:53 - 28:03
It's B&Q for Australia, except that, as far as I can tell, it sets the tone for all elements of Australia.
28:03 - 28:10
Like, it's not an after... B&Q is not, like, a central, like, a totem pole of British culture.
28:10 - 28:20
It's just a shop where you get hardware. Bunnings is, like, the centre of the universe, and every time you go there, someone else is doing a sausage sizzle, doing a barbecue for something,
28:20 - 28:26
you know, the local netball team or whatever. Everyone in Bunnings is basically the nicest person you've ever met.
28:26 - 28:33
They're all incredible. They all just look amazing. And they're very, very helpful. So we get the chains.
28:33 - 28:40
The chains. Like, we've just introduced a lot of elements here. Your son's got a trapeze.
28:40 - 28:48
He's got a giant cannon that you fire him out of. And I'm just supposed to be like, yeah, yeah, and what happens then?
28:48 - 28:58
There's also... There's an elephant just balancing in the middle of the garden, which the neighbours do frown upon that we've got that in, but we love him.
28:58 - 29:03
What are the chains for, Max? The chains. The other day, he just wanted some chains.
29:03 - 29:07
So we were like, okay. I said, I'll drive him to Bunnings and we bought some chains.
29:07 - 29:12
We bought three chains, a big yellow plastic one and two quite light metal ones.
29:12 - 29:22
And what he likes to do is get on the trapeze and then land on the chains and slide along and then land on his ass The point was, I said, yeah.
29:22 - 29:32
Is he trying to haunt the neighbors? That's, I would say the main use of chains in this day and age is for fake hauntings.
29:32 - 29:47
Yeah. He just likes sliding around on the chains. And actually the other day, I basically, I played the Carpenters back on the chain gang on loop and just slid him around the house and he was just on chains for a long time.
29:47 - 29:51
And I thought this is, it's incidental fitness for me and he seems to be having a good time.
29:51 - 29:57
I hope I don't dislocate his shoulders because I just don't know how strong his arms and his sockets are, but he's having fun.
29:57 - 30:04
It's, I think this is just a point in this podcast where I just have to be like, yeah, no, he just wanted chains.
30:04 - 30:15
I don't think I'm ever going to get to the bottom of this. So his setup is, does he have a chair on the back of the bike that he sits in?
30:15 - 30:21
Yeah, he's got a chair on the back of the bike. But the problem was, I said one more go on the trapeze and then we'll go, and then when he did that,
30:21 - 30:33
he wanted another one. And I was like, no, and I'd set the boundary. So basically he then turns into, he then sort of turns into an electric eel and he can,
30:33 - 30:40
as I've talked about, he can dislocate every muscle in his body. So whenever, however I try and pick him up, he just sort of slithers out.
30:40 - 30:44
And then eventually I have to kind of, I have to sort of shove him into the chair.
30:44 - 30:52
Yeah, you know, it was loud and he was very upset about it. And then Jamie came out and sort of pacified things.
30:52 - 30:58
So then we cycled to Kinder and he's sad about it, but then he sees a van and he's fine.
30:58 - 31:12
I don't know, I don't know where he gets his simplicity from, but we get to Kinder.
31:12 - 31:22
We'll drop him off and I made him a ramp, which means get a wooden, a long wooden, stick, sort of flat stick, bit of two by four.
31:22 - 31:26
And I just balanced it on a bookshelf and put a car down it. And then I said, see you later.
31:26 - 31:36
I love you. And he completely adored me because now he had the ramp. And then I cycled to South Yarra to host the Isuzu Ute A-League Download.
31:36 - 31:43
So hang on, we just need to go through that name. So Isuzu is, oh, Isuzu is a car brand.
31:43 - 31:53
Yeah, yeah. And we're sponsored by Ute. Of course we're sponsored by Ute. Ute is the, the national car of Australia, which it doesn't really exist in other places.
31:53 - 32:04
It's basically a flatbed, not really a truck, more like a car with a flatbed and a fancy interior, but you can throw your tools on the back.
32:04 - 32:09
Is that a fair description of a Ute? That's pretty much exactly what a Ute is, yes.
32:09 - 32:18
So we're sponsored by a Ute. Yeah. Someone once described it as you can work on the farm during the week and drive your wife to church on a Sunday.
32:18 - 32:26
Yeah. That's the dream of the Ute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I have ever been in a Ute, but I think you're right.
32:26 - 32:33
I think if you were in a Ute and you didn't look around behind you, you could be forgiven for thinking you were just in a normal saloon car.
32:33 - 32:40
You were just in a Ford Sierra. And little, you know, unbeknownst to you, there was basically a skip behind you where you could put all manner of things.
32:40 - 32:57
So I do that with, as we've already established, the third greatest Danish goalkeeper of all time, Thomas Sorensen, and legendary Australian centre forward, Archie Thompson, who scored 13 goals in a game against American Samoa,
32:57 - 33:06
which is a world record. Oh, he played, there's an amazing documentary about that. So American Samoa were the worst team in the world.
33:06 - 33:12
They lost 20 or 40 nil to Australia, maybe 20 nil. And that must be the game where he scored it.
33:12 - 33:21
And then FIFA, the football governing body. So there was subsequently a feature film that Taika Waititi made about this that wasn't as good.
33:21 - 33:30
But the actual original documentary is called Next Goal Wins. And American Samoa decide they're going to turn it round.
33:30 - 33:38
They get a Dutch coach who sort of starts to understand the culture and what motivates the team.
33:38 - 33:47
And they end up, like the rocky triumph moment of the whole film is that I think they beat Tonga 1-0.
33:47 - 33:52
Amazing. Do you know what? I've never seen it and I know it's brilliant and I have to see it because I bet I will cry.
33:52 - 34:02
Yes. So without him, that documentary wouldn't happen. I got the correct size coffee. So just for the record, I was happy with it.
34:02 - 34:14
Then I cycled to my physio, the hip groin expert, Andrew Wallace. Oh, wow. And he gave me a rubber band and gave me some exercises to do.
34:14 - 34:20
So when you say hip groin, does that mean he's very hip you know, at groins?
34:20 - 34:29
He's the trendiest groin guy in Melbourne. I have a question here, Max. So currently I have a stiff knee.
34:29 - 34:38
So I'm doing this UK tour at the moment, Northampton on Thursday. Thank you. And so I have a sore knee, a sore shoulder because of the various pillows.
34:38 - 34:49
I still haven't got that sorted. Do you think I can go, oh, and I've got a sort of a quad muscle injury as well.
34:49 - 34:55
Can I go to a physio with a threefer with three entirely separate things wrong with me?
34:55 - 35:03
But the issue I think is if you go to your high street physio, I went to a high street physio and he misdiagnosed this problem and he gave me lots of exercises to do,
35:03 - 35:10
which Andrew Wallace said were all completely wrong and actually were counterintuitive. But he wasn't, but he was very professional.
35:10 - 35:19
So he didn't criticise the other physio. He's just saying my, what I view your issue is, is not the issue that, you were previously told.
35:19 - 35:33
Eat 20 olives a day, Mike. So I did my, got my little exercises to do and I cycled home and that was about a 40 minute cycle and Mrs. Rushden had made me a falafel plate.
35:33 - 35:36
Well, we got takeaway the night before and I hadn't had it for some reason.
35:36 - 35:42
And so it was there and that was really delicious. And I sat in the sun and I was very happy about it.
35:42 - 35:53
So good. And then Willie went down for a nap and so did I. And then an hour later, Mrs. Rushden, rang me to ask why I hadn't woken up after an hour because she had done the laundry,
35:53 - 36:02
the dishwasher and cooked some pancakes. Can I just, does Mrs. Rushden ring you from inside the palatial presidential residence?
36:02 - 36:07
No, I think, I don't know. I think she was out at the time. Okay, fine.
36:07 - 36:12
But I couldn't be totally sure. But I woke up again sad because I wake up sad for a nap.
36:12 - 36:17
But I was, that was not, I wasn't sad for long. That was, I was pretty upbeat.
36:18 - 36:26
And I did the pins. So, you know. Yeah, good. Watched Match of the Day 2 and wrote the script for Football Weekly.
36:26 - 36:39
And then Ian. Most people wouldn't think that is a thing. I know you do, when we do these episodes, I'm not saying you have a script, but you do read through the correspondence.
36:39 - 36:46
Whereas I just react to it like a goddamn prince. I just sit here in my throne.
36:46 - 36:53
You're just Mr. Riff. You're just, you're just here to riff. You say, I'll be back Helen Copter now and just doing some riffing.
36:53 - 37:09
Whereas actually all my words are scripted. That's why when I asked you what happens in Asterix, there was a set of you just going through hundreds of pages till you found your brief description of.
37:09 - 37:21
So yeah, did the script for that. Ian came back from kinder. Jamie went to get him and we, we had set up a, an obstacle course in the back garden.
37:21 - 37:28
And so that involves some stepping stones, a couple of chairs, three chairs, some squares that he had to jump over.
37:28 - 37:34
And then I, I sort of said you could cycle around the house, which he did a couple of times, but he didn't, he liked the stepping stones more.
37:34 - 37:45
And then you finish on the trapeze, obviously. Did, did you introduce the concept because it is one of, for me, the key elements of my pre 10 years.
37:45 - 37:52
Lava. Now this as in like the ground is lava. Yeah. Oh yeah. And I hear you.
37:52 - 38:03
We're yet to introduce lava to Ian because we haven't introduced volcanoes. So I read less than Jamie and she's also a primary school teacher.
38:03 - 38:08
She's, she just knows more than me and has intuitively is a better parent than I am.
38:08 - 38:13
So I'm waiting for her to, for the big things like introducing volcanoes. Wow. I'm waiting.
38:13 - 38:18
I'm not like, I'm not deferring. I'm not, I'm playing an active role in Ian's life.
38:18 - 38:23
Yeah. But if a big decision like volcanoes came up, I would say, should we talk about volcanoes?
38:23 - 38:27
Well, I just, it's a good idea. I reckon around three, four, maybe you're right.
38:27 - 38:42
Can't touch the ground. I don't think you need to, like I'm imagining you and you've got some blackboards and you're showing how underneath the crust of the earth, sometimes magma buildup causes vents to break out.
38:42 - 38:50
He doesn't need any of this. He just needs to know if you took the carpet is in fact, lava and if you touch it, your foot will melt.
38:50 - 39:01
You can just, you can understand lava before plate tectonics. Tectonics is so good. That was always ongoing for gold, wasn't it?
39:01 - 39:13
With Henry Kelly. Plate tectonics for four points. Will you play or pass? So, so, so evening now.
39:13 - 39:17
So, you know, we sort of, you know, it's, it's, it's bath time, bedtime, all this stuff.
39:17 - 39:22
And Willie needed a nap. So I put him on the carrier, which actually really hurt.
39:22 - 39:30
I haven't got it right. And it makes my back really ache, but I don't talk about that because at the moment, Jamie has to, I can't put Ian to sleep.
39:30 - 39:34
He's just not interested in me for that. And that was a killer for Mrs.
39:34 - 39:43
Rushden. So I went for a, I, well, now before I went for a walk, I made one of those quite like this podcast is brought to you by quite like really good chili,
39:43 - 39:49
sweet chili, chicken stir fry would never make it if I hadn't, with some really fresh vegetables.
39:49 - 39:53
So I made that with Willie in the carrier and tried to avoid the hot oil and things.
39:53 - 39:59
So you're, you're falling on him. You're wearing him like a, I'm wearing a baby.
39:59 - 40:05
Yeah. Yeah. Like a bum bag. The young people wear a bum bag over the shoulder, under the armpit.
40:05 - 40:10
He's high. You could kisses the top of his head. That's sort of where he needs to be.
40:10 - 40:17
So I made that stir fry. I ate mine at the table. Jamie ate hers by the bath with Ian.
40:17 - 40:33
So that's what happened. Do you, is it difficult though to get past the shame of not having made an actual recipe from an actual recipe book using actual things you bought from the supermarket and instead just a box has been delivered like just the most
40:33 - 40:45
environmentally inefficient possible way of making people feel like they're cooking. Whereas all they're doing is assembling an air fix and thinking that they're a fucking second world war pilot.
40:45 - 40:55
There's no waste. So that's good. Everything is recyclable in the, the packaging that it comes in and it does mean you just don't, I just make a bolognese.
40:55 - 41:00
Yeah. I don't, this, this is the sort of aggression I got from Dave about the mozzarella, but I'm hearing from you.
41:00 - 41:05
I would never make a sweet chili chicken stir fry. It just wouldn't even cross my mind.
41:05 - 41:17
It's so easy. Well, I know it's easy now. Yeah. I can, if you ever need to know how to make a burrito from a ragu, I can also give you,
41:17 - 41:23
give you the various recipes that involve that. Okay, great. So we've had a walk.
41:23 - 41:28
I went for a walk because Willie likes a walk. So Jamie's putting Ian down.
41:28 - 41:33
I'm taking Willie Rushden for a walk. Nice. I called my friend, Anna. We have a nice chat.
41:33 - 41:44
Can I ask here? So you do. So Willie is two weeks. So he's just lying there in a tiny pram type of thing.
41:44 - 41:47
I'm imagining, or do you have him in the. I'm still, I'm still got him.
41:47 - 41:50
I'm still, I'm still holding him. I'm still like, cause then, you know, he's still attached to me.
41:50 - 41:55
So it's like, I'm going for a walk with a five kilo bag of sugar on my chest.
41:55 - 42:02
You know, so I'm like SAS. I'm like Ant Middleton. Yeah. Walking through the dappled sunlight of Melbourne's inner North.
42:02 - 42:08
Wow. So yeah, speaking to my friend, Anna, and then listen to a bit of Fern Cotton sounds of the nineties.
42:08 - 42:14
Cause I like that. That's when music was good, you know? So brother beyond that kind of stuff.
42:14 - 42:26
Who told us like, this is, almost word for word, the same as Jimmer James Buckley tried to tell us that when football was good and just, it's like the classic,
42:26 - 42:35
it's more a classic old person argument. Like I had this with my dad who has forever told me how football used to be.
42:35 - 42:52
Cause it was, it was shoulder barges and men shaking hands at full time. And then they colorized the 1966 world cup and they showed there's a legendary semi, final where a man is sent off and refuses to leave the pitch might be the quarterfinal.
42:52 - 42:59
And he's just standing there shaking his head and everyone he's been fouling people for the whole match.
42:59 - 43:06
And then people have been diving and pretending they're injured. And I'm like, dad, is this, is this the Avalon?
43:06 - 43:13
Is this the Nirvana that you've spoken off for so many years? This is while entertaining it's it's shit.
43:13 - 43:18
No, you're so right about, I mean, music has always been, good and bad through every decade.
43:18 - 43:28
I'm just stuck. I'm just stuck in that particular decade. Right. So I get back with Willie and Jamie has put Ian down.
43:28 - 43:33
I get home. I get on the zoom call for football weekly, still with Willie in the carrier.
43:33 - 43:37
Jamie's just managed to put Ian down. I then have to give her another child who's now crying.
43:37 - 43:45
She looks bereft. And then I do a part, then I do football weekly. And then I talked to one of them.
43:45 - 43:58
Yes. It is amazing how, cause I, I have probably listened to that football weekly and this, so you've had four hours of sleep in the first in bracket one, and they haven't been good hours.
43:58 - 44:08
You then had a sad sleep. You woke up sad from, and yet you can just turn it on.
44:08 - 44:17
It's incredible what you do. I am in awe of you Max. And I realize that this is just podcasting.
44:17 - 44:23
It's not real, but I just not, not enough people say, well done Max. All I do through the day.
44:23 - 44:34
I think I know that everything is showbiz. And the funny thing was when I got on the zoom call for football weekly, I'd had Willie on my chest so much.
44:34 - 44:39
I was so wet, my t-shirt and I had no idea if it was sweat or piss.
44:39 - 44:46
I just didn't know. But you know, do you remember the era in the nineties or two thousands where footballers would get Vicks?
44:46 - 44:52
Yeah. And rub it on their Jersey so that the menthol mint would open their airways.
44:52 - 44:56
I thought you were going to talk about those global hyper-color t-shirts, which changed color when you got hot.
44:56 - 45:02
That's terrible. Everyone at Alton Towers, everyone at Alton Towers is wearing them. That's a terrible idea.
45:02 - 45:06
You just, you could see where you were sweaty. Obviously you missed a no deodorant.
45:06 - 45:11
Probably don't sweat. Do you not sweat? That hasn't, that hasn't, that hasn't worked well for other people.
45:11 - 45:19
I thought you were going into a drummer when t-shirts were better. The 90s, that's when t-shirts were good.
45:19 - 45:29
Joe blogs, Jumper Joe blogs, Jumper globalized look killer. Then what happened? Then I had a Google teams meet with one of my bosses from the Guardian.
45:29 - 45:35
We had a nice chat about stuff. And then, then it must've been nearly 10 o'clock.
45:35 - 45:41
Brush my teeth. Yeah. Had a wee. Great. Going to bed. Amazing. Straight out. Are we just buying?
45:41 - 45:48
Is it head hits the pillow? Good night. No, because I think, Billy was awake and Jamie was awake.
45:48 - 46:00
So I couldn't tell you. I might've had to change a nappy. What happens is it, it all becomes a blur of just, you're just trying to, I think it was,
46:00 - 46:07
it was on the last step, Mark Watson, which I really, I listened, I don't listen back all the time because I'm sure they're all great, but I did listen.
46:07 - 46:16
And when he was talking about, you know, when you go for a wee in the middle of the night, you have to, you have to be awake enough to deliver the wee,
46:16 - 46:21
but no more awake. That's sort of what you're doing when I'm changing Willie's nappy.
46:21 - 46:25
I'm not awake, but I'm awake enough that I don't drop him and I deliver him back.
46:25 - 46:33
And then I, you know, so I'm in and out of consciousness. So I don't, I couldn't tell you exactly when I fell asleep.
46:33 - 46:47
Yeah. That's a, I have heard just this past week. I don't have many nappy facts, Max, but there was, someone was saying, if you could please, when you, you change a nappy,
46:47 - 46:56
tip the shite into the toilet and then ball up the nappy, that would vastly reduce the amount of landfill that nappies take up.
46:56 - 47:02
But I suspect that might just be the little thing that would wake you up too much to tip.
47:02 - 47:12
I mean, it's just, I mean, my thoughts are, Hey, when he's not really producing a, you know, a Nish Kumar at this stage, right.
47:12 - 47:24
You know, and, and I think, I understand the point and we all need to do more, but like telling a sleep deprived parent, this is when sustainability comes in.
47:24 - 47:31
It's just, it just feels like I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm just not thinking about separating the shit from the nappy.
47:31 - 47:41
And like, and I apologize for that. The bigger issue is because you're all so tired to that house all the time.
47:41 - 47:51
And the fact that all four of you were nappies and then just during the night, fire them out onto the street, drop, kick them into the neighbors.
47:51 - 48:01
What we do actually, now what we do is we just, every morning I just, I've had purpose built a number of nappies that are basically the floor plan of our house.
48:01 - 48:09
And then we all just walk around defecating into it. And then at the end of the day, I just roll it all up and then just, yeah, you're right.
48:09 - 48:14
And then we send it to Darryl and he throws it directly at Richard Osmond's window.
48:16 - 48:26
Hey, what's good is, cause we've always said these apps should be about 25 minutes, half an hour is once again, we are approaching the hour mark of this.
48:26 - 48:31
I think we've covered a lot of bases. Yeah. I have enjoyed this one now.
48:31 - 48:35
Me too. It's been a nice, we haven't had a window into your life for a while.
48:35 - 48:43
Like with me, it's all glamor. It's touring. It's me and Omar Sharif playing bridge in Dickie bows after a gig somewhere.
48:43 - 48:51
You know what my life is like, where, whereas your life just revolves around turds and sleep.
48:51 - 48:55
I mean, the real honest thing is this is that this is my social life, right?
48:55 - 49:04
This is my evening. This is, this is my social life. I don't see anybody, you know, this is it.
49:04 - 49:10
And it's good. I need this. I think this is probably really good for my, you know, my mental wellbeing.
49:10 - 49:21
Well, I'm very happy to be part of this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of it. I mean, you're taking care of, you've been to the hip groin man.
49:21 - 49:31
And now I'm the hip brain man. That's how I think of myself. Yeah. If you would like to get in touch with what did you do yesterday?
49:31 - 49:39
While the music from the recently deceased people on Shannon side FM plays, Max will tell you how to get in touch.
49:39 - 49:44
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday?
49:44 - 49:51
Pod at Gmail, dot com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod, and please subscribe and leave a review.
49:51 - 49:56
If you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.
49:56 - 50:03
I remember if you want to guess the, we're on a three cheese board now, and that is very exciting.
50:03 - 50:10
It's a three cheese board. And, uh, what does that mean? It means there's three left to guess.
50:10 - 50:18
There's three left to guess. Okay. Fine. Cashel blue Manchego. They're there. You know, they're in the, they're in the, obviously you have to guess on iTunes.
50:18 - 50:24
You have to give us a five star review. And if you don't guess cashel blue and Manchego one and two, it is void.
50:24 - 50:29
That's the only way you can, uh, post your guests and we will get there.
50:29 - 50:33
And just think of the time when we actually get five, the five cheeses. Yeah.
50:33 - 50:42
It's going to be immense. One of the greatest anti-climaxes is I'd say, like, it's not like we have even a sting to play or anything.
50:42 - 50:47
No, that'll just be a solemn nod, from both of us, a shake of the hand.
50:47 - 50:59
And, uh, yeah, you can send five-star review or also if you just write a check for a grand made out to me and Max, you can write your, write your guesses on the back of that.
50:59 - 51:10
I would cash it. Uh, thank you very much for this lovely social hour we've had together, Max, and to the listeners for listening.
51:10 - 51:19
Hey, thanks, David. Yeah. And we'll be back with a guest on, so who knows who, but we'll be back with a guest, presumably booked again by me on Sunday morning. Bye.