WDWDY #9: The Diabolo Bros.

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Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.

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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?

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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.

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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?

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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.

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Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

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Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.

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Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello, and welcome to whatever episode this is of Midweek Mayhem.

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David O'Doherty is there in front of me. Welcome to Guardian Football Weekly with me, Jonathan Lew.

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Oh, you'd be good at it. How are you, David? I'm good. Look, I'm not allowed to complain about being tired, so I won't.

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But I totally am. Hang on. You did in the WhatsApp group said, you know, we're recording at 9.30 a.m. your time.

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Because you wouldn't do 9 a.m. because, quote, I'm tired. And you sing that to a man with a three-week-old baby.

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And I looked at it and went, oh, you're all right. That's OK. I can go to bed late.

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That's fine. Also, how many discussions on this podcast have essentially been stand-up comedy is the hardest job in the world, maybe since some feudal job where you had to chase lost sheep on cliffs.

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Stand-up comedy is so, so hard. I've been on tour. I did Pool with an E for the first time.

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Pool, which is South Coast. So in some of these big theaters, there's two venues in the same venue.

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And I mean, this is pretty rare, but backstage are all the signs, welcome you and the other act playing the other one, Jason Donovan.

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Oh, really good. So Donovan and O'Doherty. So it did appear like we were on the same.

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Bill, because it did say David O'Doherty, Jason Donovan, so that I was supporting him.

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He was playing the larger room, you would have to say. But do you want to know an amazing fact?

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This is knowing your audience. And we should think about this for the inevitable merch that will come from this podcast.

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Jason Donovan's audience are a lot of ladies in their fifties in particular. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Water bottles. Ah, is that the thing? They were 20 quid. For the Jason Donovan water bottles.

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And he sold, someone in the venue said, a thousand. He's clearing 20k on water bottles to hot ladies.

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We need to figure out, like calendars. What is the essential yesterday piece of... Why don't we just copy everything Jason Donovan does?

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So presumably we start the gig by singing Any Dream Will Do, the two of us.

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Then we tell some anecdotes about what it was like in Neighbours. Then we sing Too Many Broken Hearts.

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Oh my God. And then obviously no one is allowed water during the gig. Perhaps that's something he does.

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Oh yes. But he only sells salty snacks. So smart. Scampi all he has is...

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Scampi and salted popcorn and pretzels. So we do those, but we could make them, you know, what did you do yesterday pretzels?

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And then we say, you can't have water, but you have to be in a what did you do yesterday water bottle.

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Clean up. But we clean up especially for you. Really good. Really good. I mean, I did a radio show with Jason Donovan once.

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And for some reason he was doing the breakfast show on BBC London. I think I was like the early morning reporter, you know, like the wacky guy in the radio car.

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And I was doing a report on level crossings in South Hall to Jason Donovan.

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But he went for a poo in the 8 o'clock news and didn't come back for 15 minutes.

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Like I missed a whole section of the show. He was very personable. It would be an odd choice.

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Maybe he needs to drink some of his own water bottles then. Maybe that was the problem with the keep the whole thing moving.

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Now look, we're skirting around the big news, aren't we, David? Because we have been inundated this week.

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A lot of people asking if, well, pointing us in the direction of our apparent global influence on the world political stage, it is fair to say.

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It's Elon Musk, who is, you know, my friend and yours, Elon. E-mailed friend of the pod, Elon Musk.

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E-mailed all government employees with a request, asking employees the question, what did you do last week?

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Requiring five examples of things they'd accomplished. Failure to respond was considered a resignation. So, you know, producer Mars Bar asked these questions.

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Has Elon been listening to the pod? Has he violated our IP with this? Should we sue him?

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Why aren't we suing the Beatles? One at a time. Oh, yeah, we're suing the Beatles for yesterday.

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It would be quite the turn of events if this podcast ended democracy. But that is not where I thought this would go.

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Is it like, say, chaos theory? You know, if a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere, there's an avalanche somewhere else.

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You know, if Nish Kumar takes a shit in the morning, the entire free world is brought to its knees six months later.

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He is not learning from our lessons, though, because if he's planning to rule not by whatever they're called, presidential order decree, but instead by pod.

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Cast, what did you do last week? It's going to be long. It's going to be particularly if Elon's like Wednesday lunchtime.

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Can you was it soup? Was it a roll? Is Donald Trump hurrying him along?

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Is Donald like, come on, Elon, we're three and a half hours in and we've not even got to Tuesday yet.

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Also, we have 8.6 million federal employees to podcast with. It's a huge mistake. Considering they're trying to, you know, cut down on bureaucracy.

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The fact they have to do a week, you know, a six hour podcast with every employee, federal employee.

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It is an issue, isn't it? They haven't thought it through. But then again, this isn't the rest is politics, but I don't think they've thought a lot through.

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So maybe, maybe. But if we are responsible, I think we should probably apologize. It wasn't our intention.

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Apologize for encouraging Elon Musk to interview every member of the American civil service. He's such a terrible bloke.

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Like it's sort of beyond belief, isn't it? But like I've always, it sort of sounds patronizing, but something about being Irish, you're mega attuned just to sort of bullshitters.

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And I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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I think that's the thing that's so important to me. I think that's the thing that's so important to me.

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