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Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday.
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Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
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Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty.
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Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hi, everybody. It's Midweek Mayhem. David O'Doherty is here.
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Hi, David. David O'Doherty here, co-host of the What Did You Do Yesterday podcast. Yeah.
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I'm pleased you are, by the way. We work reasonably well together. In an early episode, Osman said I was the easy chair guy, and I resent that a little bit because I feel I bring more to it than that.
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Yeah, yeah. But you're probably more ringmaster, certainly, than I am. No, you ain't no clown.
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An easy chair, it requires a different thought process. I'm just getting us into the news.
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You're the one asking the interesting stuff. In many ways, there's more pressure on you than there is on me.
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What's great is there's no egos in the dressing room. That's what I like, David.
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Yes. It's like the recording of We Are The World with Quincy Jones from that documentary that I watched recently.
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But for example, the listeners, people want to know the nuts and bolts. Max has probably looked at the feedback of the last week.
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Whereas I haven't. So I will react to it in real time. So there's our different roles.
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Yeah, that is peering behind the curtain. Welcome now to the Inner Sanctum. Speaking of feedback, people like Joe Wilkinson know the way I was listening to this at 2am.
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But I was so tired, but so excited. So I was fighting for my life to stay awake.
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But now I don't remember any of it. Time to re-listen. I do love the idea that someone is that tired, but they can't tear themselves away to find out how good a robot Hoover actually is.
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It's a wonderful image. Just one more minute. One more. The slow cooker's on. Hang on.
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I've got work in the morning, but I just can't. Yeah, I can relate. I mean, I think I've done it with something like an American presidential election, when you're really trying to stay awake to find out.
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Just call Pennsylvania. I'm dying here. Well, it's like that with Joe's Roomba. Craig says, he doesn't know how to make a sandwich.
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Agreed. I felt like such a boring, plain Jane. Me saying I would have just liked the bagel on its own, or maybe with a bit of cheese in it.
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But when he went Marmite and pickle and cheese, like, what is that? That's four different sandwiches at the same time.
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It's so much vinegar. Everything is in pickled. In brine. Yeah. His fridge is actually in a jar, isn't it?
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With like little bits of dill just around the bottom of the fridge. That's what it is.
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And actually, I did think Joe made a good point that we'd spent so much time on this podcast discussing how you get in a bath.
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And he was just like, well, how else are you getting in a bath? And he's sorry.
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You do just lower yourself into the bath. So in many ways, maybe we made the most of that piece of information, but you know, some good content.
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We will be discussing my yesterday, and my last few days, we'll discuss it later in the episode.
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My last few days have involved a lot of baths because I was staying in a hotel with a very much a sort of roll top Cadbury's flake.
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Orbs everywhere. Orbs and mysterious women who look like they're in Shakespeare's sister, just flouncing around.
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Women who look like they're in Shakespeare's sister. Where does he get these references from?
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You know, the pop charts stay with me. What was their other song? Was that Shakespeare's sister?
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Yeah, I think so. Anyway, pineapples, some serious stuff here. Rupert Flood says, dear David and Max, I love listening to your podcast while cleaning my one bicycle.
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I'm a global expert on pineapples. I eat a slice every day. Many years ago, I traveled to Australia for a year and I worked in the golden circle company in Brisbane for the pineapple season on the pineapple line,
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we had to apply barrier cream to our bare arms and wear long sports socks with the toes cut out on our arms to protect us from the pineapple juice.
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One night I didn't bother with this protection. And within an hour, my arms looked like I'd been whipped with a cat o' nine tails with angry looking red stripes across my forearms.
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The acid from the pineapple juice is insanely strong. So much there. He didn't reject the pineapple.
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It having absolutely scoured him, you know, he was just straight back in. Although how you have a slice a day is a strange thing.
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As in the problem with pineapples for me is that you basically have to eat the whole pineapple when it becomes available.
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Maybe he's a can. Maybe it's from a Del Monte cat. Del Monte. I'd say one of the most mentioned brands on this podcast.
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They're not. If we're trying to coax them into a sponsorship. Sponsoring us. This podcast is brought to you by dodo's and Shakespeare's sister's new single.
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Anyway, more pineapple stuff. Claire says, greetings. I'm writing a response to the gentleman who dissolved his ring.
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Great opening sentence to a letter. I'm in my final year of a forensic science degree.
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And one of the first things we learned was, should you ever find yourself in a position where you need to dispose of a human body, you can use pineapple juice to dissolve the flesh off the bones.
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This is because pineapples contain bromelain protein, digesting enzymes, which when consumed in large quantities can break down the proteins in human flesh.
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Yeah. It's less suspicious alternative to quick climb. When you're buying the tarp, the shovel, and you don't want to go quick climb, just pop 10 pineapples in the ground with them.
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Then I've watched so many hour long, detective dramas, you know, sort of happy murder shows, your death in paradises, et cetera, you know, your Shakespeare and Hathaway, et cetera.
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How come no one has ever been dissolved in a vat of pineapple juice in any of these?
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It's the reason Lilt has come off the market. Too many people were using it.
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It's the subtext of the, here comes the Lilt man commercial from back in the day.
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He's a cleaner. Is a cleaner the term? I think when you've done a murder, you need someone just to, yeah, in Reservoir Dogs, they had two choices.
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They either got, you know, Mr. Pink or whoever, but I don't know who played it.
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Was it Steve Buscemi? I can't remember. Or they got the Lilt man and it would have changed the movie, wouldn't it?
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Totally tropical taste. And then some reggae played. Tarantino went, I don't know if that really fits the vibe of this movie.
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To our North American listeners, Max and I are reminiscing about a soft drink from our childhood that only went, the year or two ago, but it was simply called Lilt.
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And it was the one can on the shelf that, you know, there would be like three lines of Coke, two lines of Pepsi, two lines of seven up.
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And then there would just be two cans of Lilt. And you did wonder who drinks that.
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I got the odd Lilt. It was too sweet to be refreshing. Let's face it.
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Yeah. Winston Wolf from Pulp Fiction. There you go. Wrong film, wrong person. But that aside, my reference was pretty much spot on.
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Niall in South Australia says, Hi, Max and David. Thank you for making the pod.
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As an English Irishman transplanted to Australia, it tops my list of British Irish Australian waffle pods.
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Thank you. I live in rural South Australia where my nearest big town city is Port Pirie.
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Been there. When listening to What Did You Do Yesterday 9, Wormfeet, I was astounded to hear Port Pirie get a shout out in the form of David questioning whether the mighty and highly fictional Port Pirie koalas beat the,
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the Woolloomooloo Raiders and how Max would report on this. I've been considering daily why David would possibly pick a city that barely breaks into the biggest hundred cities in Australia.
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Its only claim to fame is seriously high levels of lead poisoning. Please could David explain why of all places he chose Port Pirie?
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The year is 2005. Okay. There is the Melbourne International Comedy Festival as part of its funding.
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Does it go out to the region's tour? Whenever I meet anyone from Australia and I say, where are you from?
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And they say, you won't know it. I say, not only will I know it, but I'll have done a gig there.
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So I've been to Colac. I've been to Port Arthur. I've been to Woolloomooloo, Geraldine.
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I've been to like hundreds of these tiny towns. Yeah. Now I think my Port Pirie reference is, so it's odd groups of people.
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It's whoever is in Australia at the time. They have a focus on internationalism. International acts and then a few Aussies.
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Now it's sort of more Aussie because there's so many brilliant Aussie comedians. But I think 2005 Port Pirie might have been, the lineup was me, Maria Bamford, who's probably my favorite American comedian today,
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and Stuart Lee, who's massive in Britain. And we did a gig in the local RSL or football club or wherever it was.
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And it's only, looking back on it, that for a lot of those people, probably the only comedy gig they've ever been to.
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And it was three of the biggest weirdos currently operating in Staten Island. How was Stuart Lee's withering takes, you know, on British politics in the RSL in Port Pirie?
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I'd love to have seen that. Anyway, James says, hello, Max and David. I had to wait until today to tell you about what happened yesterday.
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Thank you for sticking to the rules. While I was listening to the show, I typically listen.
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While driving into work on the highway near Toronto, I was listening to this week's midweek mayhem and the discussion about misheard accents.
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Suddenly, like watching a movie in my rearview mirror, the car behind me swerved for no apparent reason and smashed into the car beside it.
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It then ricochets the other way, hitting another car. With mayhem behind me, I could do nothing but hit the gas and get away.
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No idea what happened, but according to the news, everyone was OK from what I can tell.
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Afterwards, it dawned on me that if I'd been a couple of seconds slower, your discussion about British adjacent accents and misheard words might have been the last thing I'd ever heard.
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I think I'd have been OK with that. I just thought I'd share. Enjoying the show.
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Look forward to both episodes every week. Take care, James. Wow. I mean, this is very narcissistic, Max, but I have started to when I go out on a Sunday morning and you see anyone with headphones on,
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I imagine they're all listening to what you did yesterday. Oh, of course. Of course.
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I think it's 84.6 percent of the global population at the moment. But not only that, but you would have to imagine the person in the car behind was also listening to it.
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And I think it might have been what caused the accident was remember when you were retelling your day that's always the same, but it was a bank holiday.
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So you weren't able to go to the library and they just couldn't handle it.
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They were like, what the hell? I made dinner not from a box. We did.
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He didn't hide from the cleaner for 20 minutes. Oh, well, glad you're okay, James. I'm glad everyone else is.
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We do not know if everything's okay. I was very trite of you. Yeah, we don't know that.
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Our sympathies with everybody. Anyway, I did say last week I would read all the emails we've had about people setting up their own detective agencies, but we don't have time.
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So I'll do that next week. If you set up a detective agency as a child, now is your chance.
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What Did You Do Yesterday pod at gmail.com. But before we get to your day, it is time for curdle slash what did you fondue yesterday slash to brie or not to brie slash master rhyme.
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Five. Four. Three. Two. One. I've got cheese. This is cheese. I've got cheese. This is cheese.
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It is still, David, a three cheese board. No, it's not. It's not a three cheese board.
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It's a three cheese board, but someone guessed compter right cheese wrong place. Oh, okay.
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Yeah. Yeah. Fine. This guess is from Kira Fulton, who sent her guesses via a handwritten post-it note sent into the what did you do yesterday PO box.
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My question is, if someone had a falcon and wrote their guess attached it to the leg of the falcon, can you train a falcon to find a PO box?
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You can train a pigeon. A Mars bar opens the PO box one day and there's just a single pigeon flapping around the tiny box.
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Keep it light. PO box 81668 London N1P 3WW Kira says, love the podcast. I love both the guest eps and midweek madness equally, but differently, but I'm grateful for the joy both bring to my heart.
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Here are my cheese guesses. Are you ready? Did you want to do it by joying or is it the moment gone?
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We've joined too many times recently, but like I say, when I start my cameo, I will join simply for 75 quid.
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Cashel Blue Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Manchego Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Smoked Applewood cheddar.
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Compta Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Wow. It's a two cheese board now. It's a two cheese board.
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Let's find out. Jarlsberg. Okay. So it is a two cheese board. We know Cashel Blue, Manchego, Compta.
15:36 - 15:45
They're just normal cheeses, guys. But this is very exciting. I want to do the clue, but you won't let me do the clue.
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What? Can I say the clue and then producer Mars Bar can redact it if needs be.
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Yeah, okay. The mistake, these are just normal cheeses. Great. Thanks for that clue. But the...
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Got it. We'll see if he takes that out. Let's do yesterday, David. Tell me all about it.
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It's St. Patrick's Day yesterday. The patron saint of the nation. It's actually St. Sheila's Day today.
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That's the patron saint of Australia, isn't she? Of Australian women, yes. Look, I need to state St. Patrick's Day, I've never felt a great affinity with it.
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As in, I'm Irish enough and I live in Ireland. And that's enough Ireland as far as I'm concerned.
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Can I read out a WhatsApp group that Steve put into my football team's WhatsApp group?
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He's an Irishman, so he wanted to send a message. On Sunday, at quarter to one in the afternoon, he said, Paddy's Day drinks at the Limerick Castle in North Melbourne tomorrow.
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Happy hour, five till seven, $10 pints of Guinness, $6 shots of Jameson. I'm not working, so we'll be on the right side of the bar.
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He sent this to a group of middle-aged men with children. Who is going for shots of Jameson at 5 p.m. on a Monday afternoon?
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I admire his optimism. Even a thumb? Anything like that? Any sort of placeholder responses?
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The stony silence to that message was very funny. Oh, no. Even an Irish flag.
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You could have responded with just an uncommitted Irish flag. There was no take-up. But, Max, St. Patrick's Day is for Steve.
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Steve misses Ireland. He's aware I live here all the time. I'm quite literally swimming in it.
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Every day is St. Patrick's Day. Although not yesterday because this is an exciting yesterday.
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This was a day of activity. I spent St. Patrick's Day with the Helen Copter in the city of Bristol.
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Here we go. Woke up at about 8 o'clock. Still woke up a little bit early.
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Eating too much than I before. We don't care about that. So woke up with just a slightly indigestive naan bread rising inside me feeling.
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Did you go to the curry house that Mrs. Rushden recommended? I can't go into it.
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That was the day before. I understand. Sorry. Sorry. Well done. Well spotted. I was just testing you.
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So the tour had finished the night before and we decided to stick on in Bristol and see what the place has to offer.
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Yeah, nice town. Really good stuff. And that's why I'm excited to deliver this day.
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So that's hanging over this day. You and the Helen Copter have woke up with similarly leathery behinds.
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We'd hired very comfortable bikes and I had adjusted my saddle. A lot of this is about saddle adjustment and I had put it in the perfect place.
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I'm with you. Okay. So I woke up with my undercarriage feeling like a little baby's undercarriage.
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You understand what I mean? I do. Yeah. Very routinely covered in a light round poo as I would say.
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So I have not had a single hotel breakfast on this entire tour which you know because a lot of the chat beforehand when we had Ed Gamble on for example it was like what you get where I get a hotel breakfast I have to have the six courses
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of it which kind of stodgifies you up for the day then. Yeah. It's got me thinking doing this podcast that we're the only two middle-aged men who aren't on like a wild fitness chair we're going to die in a week the only two people just not eating
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hemp seeds solidly from eight till midday and then fasting for the rest of the day.
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The Helen Copter is the sort of person who will have a notes app that she has been putting interesting things to do in Bristol into it for the last few weeks.
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I think it's why the thing works. Right. So she's in the hard chair and you're once again in the easy chair just asking tangential questions.
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Occasionally. You occasionally go interruption. Should we go over there? And she looks at her notes and goes no.
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And you go okay. Sustained. So the Helen Copter has decided we should go and look at Clifton Suspension Bridge.
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Hang on. Have you had breakfast? No. We elect not to have breakfast because we're still full of an Indian meal from the night before.
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Thank you. Okay. We consider going down for it but we have a restaurant reservation for two p.m.
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Okay. Because I have no self-restraint if I go down there I'm going to have a smoothie.
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If you go have a breakfast if your thing's at two you're turning into Phil Wang.
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You can't. I would not enjoy that lunch then. Wow. Okay. I would do like really weird David stuff like get a sausage and a piece of rasher and put it in a croissant and then not even regard that as part of the main course.
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Yeah. Okay. Okay. Put it in the slow hotel toaster. For it to pop out the bottom.
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They had one of the pancake machines where you watch the machine itself is a conveyor belt.
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Oh yeah. And you see the dollop like the groceries thing they have in a supermarket and then it's cooked as it moves along.
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Did not partake in this. We had an appointment with a suspension bridge. Okay. Noted.
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So you've seen this bridge. It's a good bridge isn't it? Mrs. Rushden had recommended this.
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The three things she recommended to you. Are you giving the Helen Copter top total credit or does Mrs. Rushden get some credit from this?
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Or let's face it who doesn't go to the Clifton Suspension Bridge when you're in Bristol?
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Maybe no one gets credit. I will say this the forwarded on recommendations from you that came from Mrs. Rushden were somewhat vague.
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She disputes this. She says do you remember the big thing we went to see and then afterwards had loads of food like it was stuff like that that you had to cryptically try and
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reverse enigma to figure out what she was on about. Look she sent you a Google Maps for a cafe called the Bristolian she sent a Google Maps for the Indian and she sent the Google Maps to the art gallery.
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She did say we walked over that bridge to that national park we went to that other park that had lots of levels and steps we ate in that cool area at a cafe.
22:17 - 22:29
There was some specifics and some vague. Remember we were talking about Treasure Hunt with Annika Rice a few weeks ago it felt a bit like the clues you would get on that but luckily I was able to crack some of the codes.
22:29 - 22:34
It's interesting every morning and I say to Jamie I say what are the plans?
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What are your hopes and dreams? And she says I will tell you in this riddle and then it takes me hours so if you're not really on it I'm still at 6pm and I haven't worked out what's happening for that day.
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So we have to pack the room up because obviously we're not going to be coming back now.
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Anyway we'll leave the hotel behind. We pound the pavements of Bristol. Oh hang on do you take all your stuff or did you say could you leave our bags?
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Leave the whole lot don't even take a little bag with us and walk to see the suspension bridge.
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I've never shared a bridge with you before. No I'm excited. Although I guess we've probably both seen Sydney Harbour Bridge as well.
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Do we want to run through all the bridges that we think we've both been on?
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Jeff Bridges we've met him. Yeah we've both stood on Jeff Bridges. Which is strange.
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Sydney Harbour Bridge there's probably a bridge in Dublin. We may have been over it together.
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O'Connell Bridge which is the second widest bridge in Europe I believe. I'm going to say there are some bridges in both Cambridge and Oxford that we have both gone over.
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Separate times. Yeah separate times. Edinburgh I'm going to say. Probably some Edinburgh bridges. Now anyone listening to this in a car.
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Blackfriars Bridge. Looking through your rear view mirror now and you see cars behind you bursting into flames.
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Smashing into central reservations and bridge chat. I'm going to say this. I suspect I have crossed Millennium Bridge and Blackfriars Bridge 150 times more than you.
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It's not a power play. It's not a power play. It's a statistical. Real throw a shoe over the pub vibes to this.
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Okay. So you walk through I think one of Bristol's poshest suburbs to get to it.
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And these are big houses. Huge. Are they ones you can see all the way through and you just go how the fuck have they got the money to get that house?
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Is that what you're thinking? Well I mean there's an added element to it. Is it a dowager?
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It's a dowager's house. That's what you're thinking. But the problem Max with Bristol and I love Bristol is when you see anything old and huge in Bristol you know that thing about Bristol which is never question who these statues are of.
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Got it. Got it. Yeah yeah okay. Because there'll be a real downer connected to tobacco sherry or slavery to do with it.
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Yeah yeah okay. Got it yeah. And some of these houses particularly like the early Victorian Georgian ones are so massive.
25:12 - 25:26
One does slightly think of the human misery which is funny because there was one house which was I think the biggest house I've ever seen and that was the first way my mind went and then
25:26 - 25:37
mounted on this massive ornamental balcony was a huge grommet which I would imagine they had bought from Art Man Animation.
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Oh right literally. Like it was a big 30 foot statue of grommet. 30 foot? Certainly 15 foot high grommet.
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It's probably not Nick Park's house is it? You don't think he'd be that showy about it but he's that sort of that way.
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I wonder like if you had a huge football with a microphone in front of it that said on air in neon this massive neon on air.
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Do you know this is terrible but whenever I go past a house that is nicer than mine and there are many houses nicer than mine and the person coming out of it is in their sort of early 30s I just think how are you in there?
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How are you in there? Yeah. It's the wrong way to think. I'm really happy.
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You know I want a bigger kitchen. I'm not going to lie. And like you know we've talked about the dimensions of my kitchen but it's a first world problem.
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I mean it doesn't make me a good person. My first thought is it's probably in offices whenever I see a very very large house.
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So when I see someone coming out of it I don't think oh they a crypto bro who owns this I instead think oh they're the cleaner coming out for a smoke.
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Got it. Right. Okay. So Clifton Suspension Bridge it's credited to Bruno yeah who is the great engineer of the area also Steamship Great Britain which we had intended to visit.
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It's one of those ones you can go on and walk around. Is that Isambard Kingdom Bruno is that his name?
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Isambard King yeah. Yeah we were gonna call one of our children Isambard Kingdom at kinder you thought.
27:16 - 27:29
He is the classic stovepipe hat. You know I think we once joked about putting an espresso on a hamster and pretending he was a Victorian industrialist.
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This guy is the proverbial hamster with an espresso on his head. Yeah. He designed this bridge unfortunately rest in peace Isambard Kingdom I think it was completed after he passed away by some other dudes.
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Now there's three sites of interest at it. There's a camera obscura do you know what a camera obscura is?
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He died in 1859. Do you still have to say rest in peace for someone who died in We will never forget you.
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Exactly. What was the question? Do you know what a camera obscura is? I definitely did one day but you know as we've established I've lost all knowledge of things.
28:15 - 28:19
You would enjoy this. I've encountered two in my life. There's one in Edinburgh as well.
28:19 - 28:29
It's what Renaissance people used to paint. There's a projection of what's outside onto a large sheet of paper.
28:29 - 28:43
It's almost like a board game game. So you go up in a tower and the image of outside the tower is projected down onto a table effectively that's in front of you.
28:43 - 28:54
Now it must have blown the fucking minds of the Victorians who went to see it or pre-Victorians because I guess photography came along in what the 1840s.
28:54 - 29:01
It looks like a video but it's in fact a mirrored projection of what's going on outside.
29:01 - 29:05
Yeah, I still don't know what it is but hopefully some listeners do. Oh my goodness.
29:05 - 29:13
I thought I had explained it really well. I'm going to look up what it is with some pictorial help afterwards.
29:13 - 29:20
This is the beauty of podcasting. I bring pictures to life with my words. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do.
29:20 - 29:29
And I'm staring at you and it's just a completely blank expression while you Google when Isambard Kingdom Brutale died.
29:29 - 29:47
I'm going to have a look at the Bristolian Camera Obscura. They were used in painting a lot whereby all a camera really is is a camera obscura where they've been able to make the image stay on a...
29:47 - 30:06
I know you're not listening to me. Like you are a thousand miles away. It's the natural phenomenon in which the rays of light passing through a small hole into a dark space form an image where they strike a surface resulting in an inverted and reverse projection
30:06 - 30:11
of the view outside. Ah, I see now. I see. That's exactly what I said.
30:11 - 30:19
You need it to be written down for you to believe it. You need Jonathan Wilson to tell you about it for you to believe it.
30:19 - 30:30
That's good. We go to there. So the Clifton Suspension Bridge crosses the Avon Gorge which has a lot of caves in it.
30:30 - 30:37
It's the earliest inhabited part of Bristol. There was an old ring fort right up where we are now.
30:37 - 30:42
There's still a really old man in there from the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
30:42 - 30:53
It's in there, that guy, right? Yes. That man is still there but were I to tell you that you would still need to Google it and just be like, oh, it turns out there's an old man in there.
30:53 - 31:07
We go down a steep staircase into one of those caves. I read a sign that, similar to you now, Helen's not really listening to what I'm saying until just afterwards.
31:07 - 31:13
She processes it and then starts to debate me as to whether that is in fact what I read.
31:13 - 31:25
And so compelling is her argument. Look, I read on a piece of paper that they'd found elephant bones in one of these caves from a time in prehistory when there were elephants,
31:26 - 31:34
living in Bristol. Yes. Yeah, they were very left-wing. They all went there. They invented Trip Hop.
31:34 - 31:40
They were early members of Portishead. So we go there. We walk across the bridge.
31:40 - 31:46
The bridge is fine. So hang on, Helen Copter doesn't believe you that elephant bones were found.
31:46 - 31:57
Yeah, even though I just read it on a sign that she wasn't really listening to, but it somehow picked up on elephant bones and afterwards goes, there's no way there was elephant bones there.
31:57 - 32:09
And we've walked past the sign so I can't read it again. So then I start to doubt whether I had read that there were elephant bones found in caves on the Avon Gorge just outside Bristol.
32:09 - 32:18
If any of the listeners can back us up their knowledge of the elephant bones of Bristol, I would be very interested in that.
32:18 - 32:23
We're slightly trying to kill time here because the restaurant reservation. That's just you and Helen.
32:23 - 32:34
That's not me and you right now. We have a restaurant reservation for an hour.
32:34 - 32:40
So we decide to walk to that. OK, that's a good idea. Across a giant.
32:40 - 32:46
I mean, we call it a park here, but I'm pretty sure it's called a common outside Bristol.
32:46 - 32:55
The weather is nice enough. Now, this is the only time I do feel in the leg some of the 33 mile round trip cycle.
32:56 - 33:02
To bat the day before to see the Roman baths. It's not relevant, but that had been absolutely fascinating.
33:02 - 33:08
So we walk the whole way with good chats. We haven't run out of stuff to talk about.
33:08 - 33:20
That's good. Even on a trip like this and get to a posh. It's a sort of little French place where we've highly decadent lunch.
33:20 - 33:33
OK, Helen Copter effectively has a bowl of cheese and I have. I have the leg of a duck with lentils somewhat inappropriately for the restaurant.
33:33 - 33:46
I am secretly wondering, is there a secret way of ordering some hoisin sauce, some pancakes and some shredded little bits of carrot to change the nationality of the meal?
33:46 - 33:51
Once me and my friends went to. I think we tried it once a year, but we didn't do very often.
33:51 - 33:55
Just crispy duck night where we just go and see how many pancakes we could have.
33:55 - 34:00
Couldn't order anything. And I was like, I can only get about six in because they're not big, are they?
34:00 - 34:09
But the hoisin, that is a heavy sauce. Yes, yes. But some of my friends could get to sort of 15 pancakes.
34:09 - 34:15
By that time, you've sort of gone insane. My nephew's sushi train place had an all-you-can-eat-for-an-hour.
34:15 - 34:23
Right. And he once went there with a large man who had 42 bowls. Wow. Yeah.
34:23 - 34:32
And I think barfed afterwards but like they were 19 at the time and this was what you had to do.
34:32 - 34:45
When I was 18 and we were doing the Kiwi Experience green bus around New Zealand and I think England were playing New Zealand at rugby and the pub said it's free beer until the first point is scored.
34:45 - 34:48
But like in rugby, that's what, five minutes? It's always someone gets a penalty. Yeah.
34:48 - 34:55
It was nil-nil for 35 minutes. And I must have downed the most amount of gassy beer.
34:55 - 35:01
It was so... It was so uncomfortable. But I couldn't stop because, you know, when you're 18 and the beer is free in a pub, you're like, this is insane.
35:01 - 35:07
I've just got to keep pushing myself to the absolute limit. And I was desperate for someone to score.
35:07 - 35:13
And I kept missing penalties and missing penalties and I was getting so full. I couldn't stop because it was free.
35:13 - 35:20
So stupid. You went on a bus around New Zealand when you were 19 with your friends or just with a bunch of randos?
35:20 - 35:23
With Nick and Fraser. And then it's like you just hop on, hop off bus.
35:23 - 35:26
You know, they pass back a piece of... Do you want to go skydiving today?
35:26 - 35:29
You just tick a box and then a minute later you're just being hurled out of a plane.
35:29 - 35:35
You're like, okay, that's what I signed up to do today. You know, do you want to climb this glacier to give up?
35:35 - 35:41
Yeah, oh, here I am off a glacier. It's very low level travelling. Yeah. You know, it wasn't like Magellan.
35:41 - 35:52
I don't think he had these options. But like, occasionally we get these glimpses into your prehistory like meeting Mrs. Rushden in a top of a volcano in Peru.
35:52 - 35:58
Yeah. You know, this sort of carry on. Nicaragua. Whatever. Just little tastes of it.
35:58 - 36:04
And it's absolutely fascinating. Yeah, over time you'll get full snippets of my life. I like to keep a lot in.
36:04 - 36:09
That's why I do the same thing on a Monday. The rest of my days are absolutely fucking wild.
36:09 - 36:21
You know. While eating this lunch the grim news comes through that Conor McGregor is meeting Donald Trump Oh God.
36:21 - 36:32
for St. Patrick's Day which we're living in an absolute nightmare especially as St. Patrick's Day is for emigrants.
36:32 - 36:44
It's for people around the world who want to remember Ireland and then in Ireland part of the festival has always been people who've come to Ireland recently and look we all have a party together.
36:44 - 36:51
Fine. And then this absolute dickhead. It's a worst of all worlds type of situation.
36:51 - 37:00
And that makes me a bit sad but I manage nonetheless to eat a really posh rice pudding and we get three sides with the duck leg.
37:00 - 37:05
Okay. So yeah. Tell me the sides. Freet is what they call chips. Great choice.
37:05 - 37:19
I'm in. I'm in. But as soon as chips are called freets you're much more likely to be like I think we might try they were called like chunky chips or whatever you'd be like no way I'm getting that with a duck leg.
37:19 - 37:29
That sounds awful but they're freets. Yeah they're freets. They're not yeah they're like greasy fish and chips chips they don't go with your confit of duck but yeah your freets are good.
37:29 - 37:34
Yeah. Okay. You wouldn't be like can I get a smoked cod and freets please?
37:34 - 37:43
No. There's one that's like cabbage and veg Okay. That clearly psychologically I've just ordered to balance out the freets.
37:43 - 37:50
Yeah yeah good. And then Helen Copter's got some other salad-y thing that then manages to have some cheese on it.
37:50 - 38:03
She's basically playing curdle in front of you is what's happening. And because even she doesn't know the answers she's looking to see if I will react to any of these different cheeses.
38:03 - 38:09
And you're like this is a busman's holiday for me can't we just leave curdle for one day Helen Copter?
38:09 - 38:18
Do you have a drink? Do you have a wine? Yes we have a Lillette which is the new hipster Aperol type thing.
38:18 - 38:28
Okay. It strikes me Aperol's done guys. Oh is it done? Okay. Yeah. It looks like electro carrot juice we've had it.
38:28 - 38:37
Lillette is where it's at. Wasn't Lillette's the name of a sanitary towel? Yes. And that joke was made a lot by us.
38:37 - 38:43
Okay good. And the various mix-ups you can have. I'll have a glass of the body form please.
38:43 - 38:55
Body form for you. We need to get to the airport. Yeah. So we shoot back to the hotel.
38:55 - 39:03
Now I will say this about Bristol Airport and I would say this about some regional airports in the UK because I've been to them all over the last two months.
39:03 - 39:13
Leeds Bradford for example. It's an airport and as you approach it you're thinking to yourself not so much an airport as a farmer with a dream.
39:13 - 39:21
A farmer who had a field and just one day said Ryan Aaron Aerolingus you can land here.
39:21 - 39:28
And people were like but what about infrastructure getting to the airport? He's like now that'll take care of itself over time.
39:28 - 39:35
So Bristol Airport's one of those ones where you just drive through some villages filled with furious people.
39:35 - 39:46
There's traffic jams all along the way. So you have to give yourself a little bit of extra time but we managed to get there.
39:46 - 39:51
We faff around a little bit. There's not much crack to be had in Bristol Airport if I'm honest.
39:51 - 40:02
Right. Not even a weather spoons. There is. There's something like that but it's one of those ones where you go to the bar and they're like no order from the QR code at your table.
40:02 - 40:15
One of those romantic places. Yeah. 25 minutes later having watched the bar staff just chatting to each other there's no sign of your drink from this incredible system still full of cheese.
40:15 - 40:27
Nonetheless I managed to eat the most disappointing wrap I've ever had from somewhere called like Soho Sandwich you know the things that they have at airports.
40:27 - 40:35
Can I ask was the last mouthful just wrap? No. Like there was nothing there was no contents to the last mouthful.
40:35 - 40:43
Great question. The first mouthful was that. Brilliant. I got the falafel wrap and I got it heated.
40:43 - 40:47
Okay. So I thought all the good stuff had sort of condensed down the bottom.
40:47 - 40:52
So the first few it's like I'm playing a sad kazoo as I eat it.
40:52 - 41:04
Yeah. Sad card board kazoo. Yeah. Yeah. Making my way down through cardboard is the actual word which is what heated wrap is.
41:04 - 41:11
Yeah. And like this isn't a wrap I necessarily would have heated but on the cardboard packet it said heat me.
41:11 - 41:22
Good. I couldn't argue not with Soho Sandwich Company. So yeah I think I have an amazing wrap where all the way through I'm waiting for the wrap to start.
41:22 - 41:32
And nope. I think that's just it. But I guess the standard of food at airports is so generally shit.
41:32 - 41:38
I'm just not that surprised. Yeah. You know no one goes to an airport for a bargain pint or whatever.
41:38 - 41:53
Similarly no one goes there for a delicious sandwich. The flight does that thing where it goes gate information at 1855 and at 1856 it says closing.
41:54 - 42:01
Yeah yeah nice bit of jeopardy but presumably in Bristol you know you're in gate one or gate 1A right or is it a bit bigger than that?
42:01 - 42:07
Yeah somehow it's got none of the conveniences of a small airport. A tiny airport.
42:07 - 42:19
Yeah okay. So you go down passages all the way to get the tiny Irish Aer Lingus twin propeller plane Indiana Jones kind of vibes to it.
42:19 - 42:35
Okay yeah yeah yeah. That's fine that's been a lot of this tour. Now interestingly I have a I've carried out the whole tour Max with never checking a bag and I don't know if you know this about my comedy I play a small novelty keyboard that is
42:35 - 42:53
I did know that 30% longer than what you're allowed okay but the one perk of having the short legs long torso is that I carry it in a sports bag and I have it hanging down from shoulder to arse directly behind me and
42:53 - 43:07
when I'm standing in line I if I see a member of staff come up to check the bags I don't know I stand rigidly with my back to the wall and a kind of thousand yard stare where I'm just gazing off into the distance and
43:07 - 43:22
it's worked every single time on this flight they were nicking everyone for having cases that didn't fit into the sarcophagus of doom so you've done it again Dodsey well done I mean there is nothing sad you know when they just come up and
43:22 - 43:30
they say we're gonna have to put that in the hold and you're like this is gonna add 15 minutes you know at the carousel yeah and I'm so angry about it and
43:30 - 43:46
actually it's always fine no it's 50 quid they want cash as well these days they want cash oh wow wow's okay yeah yeah yeah no way yeah me and the Helen Copter aren't put beside each other on the flight because we've messed up with the booking of the
43:46 - 44:07
tickets I am sitting beside a very large do you know a man who describes his watch as a timepiece okay I'm excited yeah yeah yeah he's a big lad but he's also got his legs spread out lovely like I know this is something that ladies complain about and
44:07 - 44:23
you're inclined to be like oh come on but then no no no there are dudes like this yeah an elbow take up the whole armrest elbow takes over you're squeezed in yeah yeah yeah so I am filled with the joy of a day off in Bristol so I
44:23 - 44:41
decide to go to war with him great we're connecting on two points yeah from biology I think the elbow and the knee where we're touching are they hinge joints we're double hinging yeah yeah yeah this is a hinge war you're double hinging yeah okay but you're
44:41 - 44:58
looking straight ahead oh absolutely no more than that I'm scrolling to show that I don't give a shit but yeah I will die in defense of this armrest yeah okay this is good it's getting a little bit spicy I mean he must be noticing I've also
44:58 - 45:19
made the point of leaving my jacket on such that it is annoyingly hanging down into his area here and you're wearing one of those sergeant pepper's tasseled ones aren't you so then just as the plane is about to take off there's a moment where we're just sitting there
45:19 - 45:35
we've enjoyed the safety briefing helen copter reaches forward and from two rows behind I think she might have had to call out actually she's not like mr. tickle from the mr. man where she can just reach forward several rows she says spare a seat beside me
45:35 - 46:01
so I grab my gear oh wow wow I don't want him to Think that he's won of course this is probably his dream was for me to go away so okay I say something like love calls please say that just go back sit with the Helen Copter we
46:01 - 46:21
have failed to download any puzzles or crosswords how long is a flight what an hour yeah we have a drawing contest instead oh okay mine is the first choice which is horses we both draw horses and then review each other's horses she's drawn not a bad
46:21 - 46:40
horse yeah but it's in profile and then her far legs she makes them too small so it's like the horse is maybe 30 feet wide which is a terrifying animal like it's a horse yeah the width of a Land Rover the flaw of my drawings
46:40 - 46:59
is I give everyone the same eyes so I give this horse kind of gormless eyes so then I give it sticky eye teeth then as well we put the pictures on the show notes sure why horse and then I did weird horse then we both drew bananas that
46:59 - 47:18
was her call and then good game this yeah and then we did portraits of each other hers was sort of photorealistic her one of me which is probably a safer way to go yeah because once you venture into the realm once you go full Picasso it's of
47:18 - 47:38
cartoon then it does seem like you're an actual cartoonist and you're emphasizing so I gave her sort of Garfield droopy eyes just because I draw a great Garfield and she wasn't happy with that she was wearing a light leopard print scarf that I tried to draw and
47:38 - 47:53
then she asked me if I'd given her a hairy chest does she have a hairy chest yeah she really does yeah she's got a full life Richard Keys isn't she during the ambiguous years before me and
47:53 - 48:06
Miss TRushden I actually got together we drove across Italy and we went to the Uffizi gallery in Florence I think isn't it the birth of Venus Botticelli's birth of Venus is there I believe great so we bought sketch pads and
48:06 - 48:18
sat there and drew the birth of Venus and what's funny is if you see someone in a gallery with a sketch pad drawing something you think oh well they're an art student yeah Jamie's actually really brilliant at art yeah quite a lot of her pictures are up in
48:18 - 48:31
the house I believe I have creative talents I don't think they're best placed with art but it's really funny so we're there and we're really trying with my soft pencils but I'm absolute shit and so
48:31 - 48:39
you know Venus is in the birth of Venus some other people but mine is so bad but what you see is you see like tourists looking at the birth of Venus and then
48:39 - 48:54
coming to walk around behind us yeah to see how our art is and then walking off and you can just see so many thinking someone's got to tell him someone's got to tell this guy oh it's not for him you know just arm around the shoulder
48:54 - 49:08
you know like he needs to be released he needs he's on the YTS scheme he needs to be released you're never going to make it son no sense that you are exploring you know it's your own interpretation of it right no because it looks like I'm trying to
49:08 - 49:21
draw the birth of Venus but like she's got like a club foot yeah and like tusks like it's just terrible I made it for Jay we've got like the actual birth of Venus not the actual you know like a print of it and on either side
49:21 - 49:32
are ones yeah framed it's the shell it's the sort of oyster shell type thing yeah yeah yeah but mine looked more like a breville mine's like a clubfoot elephant coming out of a breville and
49:32 - 49:56
Jamie's looks like the birth of Venus we land no baggage to pick up because I've once more absolutely done the system yeah defeated O'Leary yep get home in the taxi when you get home that's the first time you that the tour is officially over to be
49:56 - 50:14
honest you know because good feeling travel is still part of the tour I mean obviously the tour wasn't me and the Helen Copter eating loads of cheese but we put on a movie then we put on see how they run which is a seer show Ronan
50:14 - 50:38
Sam Rockwell I get the Christie thing okay which is remarkable because Tim Key appears unexpectedly in a reasonably big part in it a good friend of mine who I've asked three times to come on the podcast each time responds capital letters no it's good in a way
50:38 - 50:50
because I can't interview him because I find him too funny do you know what I mean well yeah I don't want to be fawning with a guest you know well he's very good in this we're going to get him one day we are going to
50:50 - 51:02
get him yeah because he's off doing I suspect he's going to he plays his cards close to his chest I met him for a pint a few weeks ago it's very hard to find out what he's up to at the moment now I think people who are in
51:02 - 51:16
movies and things generally don't tell you what they're working on at the moment because you'll find out about in 18 months I can't tell you what I'm working on at the moment I think that's his reluctance to go on what should you do yesterday because he
51:16 - 51:31
would have to do what did you do 18 months ago got it yeah which is a more difficult podcast to do yeah yeah yeah this is a better idea than that for sure even though it's a thriller of sorts Helen Copter falls asleep she okay holds the
51:31 - 51:49
distinction of having fallen asleep through some of the world's most exciting movies don't say the Goonies she's not falling asleep in that she actually stayed awake through Jaws so I think the Goonies okay might be one that she could it's a whodunit she falls asleep for I would
51:49 - 52:06
say all of act two and then wakes up for the conclusion and just pretends she knows what's going on like it's not possible she is able to follow this then we go to bed that's my yesterday Max hey it's a really big day good day big day
52:06 - 52:27
big walk good food you know some transit always like some transit yeah movie a glass of something what a day yeah I feel it's nice to commemorate the end of a tour if you don't acknowledge things to yourself life can get a bit flavorless a bit
52:27 - 52:45
just like this lollipop that keeps on going yeah like you're just every Monday is exactly the same and then if you're made to look back at it once a fortnight to think every Monday I have is the same that it does you're right the lollipop becomes flavorless
52:45 - 52:56
you're right how will we commemorate the end of our world tour oh yeah how will we do it oh well we'll make sure it coincides with big street party with the carnival in Rio and
52:56 - 53:13
we'll get a float that's a good idea okay we'll be dancing in little gold skirts yeah okay I mean that's okay that's how we'll do it now you've said that that's how we have to end every live show we do carnival style all right if you'd like
53:13 - 53:26
to get in touch with the podcast this is how you do it to get in touch with the show you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod and
53:26 - 53:44
please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't thanks David thanks everyone for listening everything is showbiz that's all I have to say it's good that we've kept this one short as well yeah it's good yeah
53:44 - 54:20
yeah with these tight midweek 35 minutes let's get this done just before we start this we're like come on I'm on the first tee in 15 minutes let's go thanks for everything thanks you know thank you for everything