0:00 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
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I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
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But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
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Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
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We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
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What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
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Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
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I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello, welcome to this episode.
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Hello and welcome to... Oh, wow. I know, I've threatened to do this so many times.
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Yeah, do it. But do you think it'll upset the listeners? I don't think our listeners are upset-able.
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Hello and welcome to this week's What Did You Do Yesterday? With me, David O'Doherty.
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I don't know how I feel about this. Yeah, it feels wrong. It feels like I'm the other guy.
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But I don't want you to think you're the other guy. I'm the other guy.
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Hello. Okay, I should have gone at it harder then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should.
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Here we go. You lean in with quite a lot of attitude. Yeah. Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
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With me, David O'Doherty. I'm joined by Max. Hello. Episode. Did you want more from me?
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Series two. Episode blah, blah, blah. Do you know, I had a thought, David, which was series one ended and series two seems to be going on forever.
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And I just wonder if we should end series two. Do we need a cliffhanger?
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Are we waiting for a cliffhanger to end series two? Or should we just end?
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Should we just say this is the end of series two now? Should we just say this episode is the end of series two and we'll be away from a while because, you know,
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we've both got many other. But we're not going to be away. We're just going to be back.
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I know that, but I know that. But like, if we say both of us, our diaries are just completely mad.
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Yeah. Sinking our diaries is really hard. This will be the end of series two.
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We hope to be back soon. And then obviously we're just back. In three days.
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But like, maybe people will realize now we will be back in three days. But I think it might be good to end series two soon and have series three.
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It's not our decision, obviously, because we're just the performing monkeys in all of this.
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I'll do the intro again. Oh, really? Okay. Hello and welcome to this, the final episode in series two of What Did You Do Yesterday?
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With me, David O'Doherty. I'm joined by Max. Hello, Max. Is this the last episode of series two?
2:55 - 3:17
I didn't know that. We're joined this week by a polymath. I mean, we do discuss an other polymath during it, but of the people that I grew up with and have been doing comedy with for 20 years,
3:17 - 3:32
Tim Key. Tim Key. Yeah. He is the star, one of the stars, along with Tom Basden, Carey Mulligan of The Ballad of Wallace Island, first feature film that he has written.
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He has a new book of poetry. All of his poetry is incredible. His new book is called L.A. Baby.
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He performs the most unique. How would you describe his show? You love his live shows, Max.
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Oh, I love Tim Key. Yeah. He's just a funny bastard, isn't he? He's just really fucking funny.
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That's it. I can't describe it in any other way, but I've interviewed him a few times on TalkSport, and I sort of can't do it because I don't know him.
3:59 - 4:06
I'm just laughing. So for the tape, we have just finished recording. So I was just quite pleased that I said some words during it.
4:06 - 4:12
I wasn't starstruck. Him and I, we're from the same neck of the woods. We've never really crossed paths.
4:12 - 4:18
We've got as close to a DM of, yeah, well, let's have a pint. And that's as far as it's gone.
4:18 - 4:23
But we've never got beyond the actually, you know, the real life actually doing it.
4:23 - 4:28
But yeah, we went to his show in Melbourne last year, the one he did about lockdown, which was amazing.
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And I think I saw him many years ago on a round stage. I mean, I can't remember when, but yeah.
4:34 - 4:45
The guy is very funny. And I mean, I don't know about you. He's got potential to go sort of really like, this film, I don't know, but like, he's obviously like incredibly successful,
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but I think he could go to the next. This film is extraordinary. I mean, we've both watched this.
4:50 - 4:55
It's really, really, I was crying. Like I was weeping at times. It's so lovely.
4:55 - 5:02
Did you, hey, Max, because the PR center to me as a sort of download, which was very good of them.
5:02 - 5:08
It wasn't on the full screen. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I couldn't figure out how to cast it to the telly.
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So I just watched it on my laptop. I watched it on my laptop, but it was only like, it was in widescreen.
5:13 - 5:23
So I had it on, my laptop was on the cot and Willie Rushden was asleep on me, but it was only taking up like two thirds of the screen.
5:23 - 5:32
So I could see all the icons at the bottom of the MacBook. And I could see a bit of my, my screensaver, which is just sort of like a forest.
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But like the film was, I tell you what I will say, the film was so good that I didn't think about the forest or the icons or like my WhatsApps going up slowly and thinking, I don't know who that is.
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I don't know who that is. And also I couldn't move. I couldn't move because Willie was asleep and he slept as I tell Tim for almost all of it.
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So I was just, I actually had pins and needles in my hand, but yeah, it's a really lovely, I don't know if that's how, when they wrote the film, how they expected you to move.
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You could watch it, but I really, I mean, I loved it. So good. I love all of his stuff.
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You didn't notice the little QuickTime logo that was bobbing up and down at the bottom of the screen.
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Yeah, yeah. The highest recommendation. The boinging Spotify going, boing, boing, boing. Stop boinging, please, Spotify.
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Yeah, it's a whistle-stop tour of a day, isn't it? From Tim Key. Got a very exciting start.
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Some things that we need, one day we'll learn about. One day, there's things that happen in this that we don't know about, but we will find out about later.
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And that'll be quite exciting. This is what Tim Key did yesterday. Tim Key, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?
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Well, here we all are. Fantastic. Good to see you, Max. Delighted to have you on.
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It's nice to see you, Tim. I'm a big fan, and Mrs. Rushden told me to tell you as I walked to the shed, she loves your poetry, she loves your show, and I should tell you those things.
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It's all decent feedback. I'm only here to learn. Yeah. She hasn't seen the film.
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She will like the film, I would say. She'll be in floods. Would you say, Max?
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Well, I saw the film. I'm sad to report I watched it today, so I cannot talk about it, because obviously if I watched it...
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Oh, come on. You're allowed to talk about... Hang on. This gets back to the technical rules of the podcast.
7:25 - 7:31
That is big. Yeah. Can you talk me through the technical rules? The technical rules are you have to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, Tim.
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Yeah, brilliant. I can do that. No silly buggers here. Yeah. Yeah. And we're only interested in what you did yesterday.
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David and I are occasionally allowed to veer off topic if I have an anecdote from BBC Radio Cambridgeshire or David has an anecdote about his bikes.
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That's sort of the rules. They're the rules. I had half an eye on the day being a decent day.
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Oh, good. Good. I'm pleased to hear it. Yeah, I think some decent things happened.
7:53 - 7:58
Great. In the evening, someone asked me what I was doing today, and I said I'm doing a podcast called What Did You Do Yesterday?
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And they're a bit concerned I might talk about their friend who put on weight.
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Oh, really? It's exciting we can get to that. Because sometimes we spend too much time on the morning so we don't get to the evening, but now we know we have the weight issues of a friend of a friend later on in the episode.
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I'm looking forward to it. It's not a bad question. We've never asked a guest this, Max, but as regards waiting the day, though, in terms of importance, where do you want us to concentrate on more?
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This is without giving anything away. I think there's some decent stuff happening throughout the day.
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Great. I think you could find a sort of six out of ten anecdote basically at any given hour.
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Oh, this is really exciting. In a way, the fun way would be to just pick different times and get those anecdotes.
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Why don't we do that? Just give me a time and I'll tell you what I was up to.
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The listeners demand it to be done chronologically. It's not memento yet. When we get Guy Pearce, we will ask him in a random order.
8:54 - 8:59
Or Tarantino, of course. But for you, Tim, when did you wake up yesterday? Take a guess.
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Oh, a quiz. 8.10. Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This week, someone sent us, someone had listened back to every episode we've done, which is 40 maybe, and the times that all of our guests got up.
9:15 - 9:25
So when you tell us what time you got up, Tim, I will be able to go back to the list and tell you what guests you are closest to.
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Okay. So I'm going to say, I mean, who's got a similar vibe to you?
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Katie Tunstall. Yeah, she was an excellent guest to us, Katie, yes. Lineker, Gary Lineker got up at 8.30, whereas Ellis James got up at 7.34.
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So I would put you between those two. So I'd say you get up around five past eight?
9:47 - 9:57
Yeah, no, 4.35. 4.35 a.m. 4.35. For any particular reason? So the bell rang, the buzzer. Right.
9:57 - 10:03
So I was asleep. I was disorientated, but it seemed it was Amazon. It's an early delivery.
10:03 - 10:12
Early delivery, yeah. Went to the door naked, and then it was sort of a toss-up between pressing unlock or lifting the receiver.
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Yeah. I decided to lift the receiver. I don't know why. I didn't know what time it was.
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The guy said, can I come in? What? Yeah. I said, well, who are you?
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He said, I need to come in. I said, well, hang on. Who are you here to see?
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He said, flat three. And I said, okay, well, you should phone flat three. He said, my phone's out of battery.
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I said, who are you coming to see? He said, Martin. Martin doesn't live in flat three.
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I said, I would try flat three again and put the phone down. Do you know what?
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It's very impressive how you instantly went detective, because I'd have probably just pressed the buzzer.
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You had to deal with the events. I think so. I think I'm very much a press the buzzer, ask questions later.
11:03 - 11:10
But on this occasion, something didn't quite add up. But I still didn't know what time it was until I looked at the oven and I took an hour off.
11:10 - 11:23
He buzzes again, and I'm thinking, I don't really want this guy. I mean, he's already told me he's not interested in me.
11:23 - 11:30
He wants Martin. Mine doesn't exist. So as soon as he's into the main building, he's looking for the closest thing to Martin, I'm guessing, i.e. me.
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4.35 is too early for a parcel or anything like that. This is a personal visit.
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I don't know whether you've ever listened to an anecdote before in your entire life, but I said I didn't know what the time was until I looked at the oven and took an hour off.
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Right. So you looked at the oven and then he rings again. Looked at the oven and took an hour off.
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Yeah. Are you back in bed when he rings again? No, I'm still lurking naked.
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Right, okay. I'm lurking naked, going sort of flitting between the oven and the intercom.
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Okay. Then I hear the gate. My neighbor has recently put glued felt to the gate so it doesn't clang quite so much, but it still does, so that needs a bit of work.
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I hear the gate clatter. I then try and look out the window to see him, but I never do see him again.
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And then I make my way back to bed, but obviously that's done. I can't.
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It's 4.35. Then I'm sort of, I mean, I didn't think of it at the time, but really, it's the perfect start to the what-did-you-do-yesterday preparations.
12:31 - 12:39
So did someone else, he rang on someone else's buzzer. I don't know how many people, you know, are in this.
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I do. Okay. Well, tell us. Three. Three? There's only three. So he's rung on three.
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Someone's let him in. No, no, the gate. Crucially the gate. Oh, right, he's gone back out.
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He's not, oh, it's not a buzzer. Right, I'm with you. He's gone back out into the world.
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I'm not worried anymore. Okay, right. No, don't be worried. He sounded, I mean, well, what do you think?
12:58 - 13:15
You're the host. What was this guy up to? We've never encountered this exact thing before, but 4.35 sounds to me like Martin has told people there might be a bit of a shindig back behind the gate at 4.35.
13:15 - 13:22
Do you think? Yeah. I had him more down as a sort of, you know, like a Frankenstein figure, you know, where he finds that blind guy.
13:22 - 13:30
No, I think it is a serial killer, but one who really lacks ambition. So if he doesn't get in the first time, he's like, I'll just do it tomorrow.
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It's an unambitious dream to kill a poet. Unless one of your poems is getting too close to the truth.
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You know what I mean? This is a very modern idea. Well, I probably have got like a poem about someone called Martin, but it's amazing to track the poet down.
13:50 - 13:54
Because it wouldn't be about him. And also he's not called Martin. He wants to find someone called Martin.
13:54 - 13:59
He wants to find Martin. But good luck finding Martin when the only person living in three, as far as I know, is Gavin.
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It is interesting when you think back, and I have never thought about this, but the number of poets who ultimately met their demise at the hands of people that they'd poeted about.
14:11 - 14:19
Chaucer, Heaney. Really? No. No, probably not, actually. I don't know what happened to Chaucer.
14:19 - 14:24
I don't know what happened to Chaucer. Gout. I think it was probably gout. But was it gout yesterday?
14:24 - 14:31
If not, let's move on. Okay, so 435. So this is probably, well, this has taken 10 minutes or so, this whole situation.
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Do we go back to sleep? Are we up? Is it one of those situations?
14:36 - 14:42
We go back to bed, but we don't go back to sleep. We can't. We're thinking about Martin's Pursuer.
14:42 - 14:49
It rattles you because, I mean, the day before I'd seen some crime and we can't really dwell on that.
14:49 - 14:58
We can't. So there's a sort of feeling of unease and a feeling that there's something up in London, you know, and then I'd read it.
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I'd read a tweet by Thomas Skinner from The Apprentice saying that London's not what it used to be and they should be tougher.
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So all this is swirling around in my mind. Right, I see. He'd said, Bosch, Bosch, let's take him out.
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Yeah, okay. People are ringing on doorbells at 4.35, Bosch. Yeah. I did a crime last week.
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I put a watering can in... I'm allowed to do this, Tim. You're not allowed to do this.
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I put a watering can that had a hole in it and I skip up the road and it's still there and it makes me feel good.
15:31 - 15:39
Not your skip? Not my skip, no. It's crime. It's a crime. And do I feel like doing more crime now?
15:39 - 15:45
Do I feel like calling into people at perhaps 4.35? Maybe. Yeah, it could be where this goes.
15:45 - 15:50
I think they would add another layer if the person calling in at 4.35 is David Adopte.
15:50 - 16:08
I think so. During the BBC London breakfast show Glory Year 2007 it must have been we did Skip Watch where we put a skip in the street and just left it there for two weeks to see what would go in it.
16:08 - 16:13
You went fishing? Yeah, I went fishing. Trawling? Yeah, I love that. And what sort of stuff did you get?
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Yeah, not a lot but we really hammered the feature still. You've got to hammer it.
16:18 - 16:22
Did you ever consider getting a mate to just throw in a top hat or something?
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We actually filmed a little promo for BBC London News where I was in the skip.
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They didn't give me much more work after that on the TV news. I don't know why that is.
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Okay, so you're in bed. How long are you in bed just trying to get back to sleep thinking about the Martin Pursuit?
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Yeah, I'd say it's an uneasy sleep until a sort of fitful maybe three hours?
16:44 - 16:50
Wow. Wow. Yeah, I stuck with it until about 7.30, I guess. Are we watching little goals?
16:50 - 16:55
Are we watching little man hitting sixes in the cricket? What are we watching on the phone?
16:55 - 17:04
No, I'm just... I mean, I don't know. Come on. I would imagine probably typing the name of our film in and sort of seeing his salutes.
17:04 - 17:13
We're in the thick of things. That's the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so three hours of that.
17:13 - 17:17
And did you feel good of like just checking how it was all doing? Yeah, pretty good.
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I was buoyed from the night before, which almost gets into what I did yesterday, but doesn't quite.
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Well, if I'm emotional from the night before, can I say why I was emotional?
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If you're still emotional, then I guess you can. Yeah, that's a loophole. So we had a screening of the film.
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We'd made a film, me and Tom Basden, called The Ballad of Wallace Island. Yeah, it's really good.
17:36 - 17:42
At the end of the Q&A, someone in the audience asked a question. The question was, if I get my guitar, will you sing a song?
17:42 - 17:55
I said yes on his behalf. And then she left the cinema and five minutes later came back with a guitar and then gave the guitar to Basden and he sang a song from the film and it was beautiful.
17:55 - 18:04
Yeah, he's good at it, isn't he? He is, well, I've no hesitation in saying it, world class or certainly the one just down from there.
18:04 - 18:14
Right. Sort of Europa League. He's Europa League level guitar singer, singer-songwriter. Yeah, he's League One level as a guitarist and singer.
18:14 - 18:22
Now, I would say the guy is world class. He's phenomenal. Did you try and sing Kerry Mulligan's harmonies along with it?
18:22 - 18:29
What a great point. Didn't even consider it. And I was holding the mic it was, you know, it was very ad hoc.
18:29 - 18:35
I was holding the mic to his famous lips. Griff, the director, was holding the other mic to his strings.
18:35 - 18:40
And then in the middle of it, you've got this sort of, you know, crooner bashing out his hits.
18:40 - 18:45
Yeah, I feel like this is beyond now emotion. Now, what did you do the day before yesterday?
18:45 - 18:50
I think it is. Yeah, we don't want to get into that. But for what it's worth, I watched the French Open final.
18:50 - 18:57
Sorry, carry on. 7.30am. 7.30am. Off to the cafe. Off to the cafe. Nice cafe.
18:57 - 19:09
Local. My regular cafe. Yeah. Oh, great. Okay. And I ordered what used to be called it used to be called Come on.
19:09 - 19:12
No, it used to be called bald egg and soldiers and then they revamped the menu.
19:12 - 19:25
Right. It's now really tough to order but it's now called kids dippy eggs. And they also had something on the menu recently called beanie weenies.
19:25 - 19:33
I mean, it's a disgrace. That cafe's a disgrace. Do they cut up the toast for you into soldiers?
19:33 - 19:40
Does it come pre-soldiered? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they cut it up. They don't make train noises and feed me it but they do cut it up.
19:40 - 19:45
It's one step away. It's one step away. Okay. And do you have a hot drink alongside this?
19:45 - 19:49
Brilliant. This is great. What a lovely podcast. I do. I have a black coffee.
19:49 - 19:55
Great. I always get a black coffee and a small orange juice and kids dippy eggs.
19:55 - 19:58
Right. And how many eggs do you get in a kids dippy? Dippy eggs. One?
19:58 - 20:04
One. But my friend Ema, when she comes, she gets two. Okay. But she wasn't there yesterday?
20:04 - 20:08
No. Went on my own. Just, you know, trying to get my head around things.
20:08 - 20:13
Good stuff. Oh, wow. Is the cafe busy at this time? 7.30. Oh, I guess people are.
20:13 - 20:18
This is the Monday. So you've probably got a few people getting ready for... It was a bank holiday, wasn't it?
20:18 - 20:22
Was it a king's birthday or was that just in Australia that we had that bank holiday?
20:22 - 20:27
Yeah, no bank holiday here. Oh, really? No. That seems silly, doesn't it? Yeah. They're obsessed here.
20:27 - 20:33
Totally obsessed here. In fact, when the Queen died, we were about to do, I think, a Europa League game.
20:33 - 20:41
We were taken off air because the Today Show from Channel 9 needed to be in the biggest studio because you can't be sad in another studio.
20:41 - 20:48
So I just got an early flight back to Melbourne and I'd just gone on and done 15 minutes of football for this radio show before and they'd started talking about the Royal Family and I just said,
20:48 - 20:57
it's weird how obsessed Australia is with the Royal Family. I get on the plane, the Queen's just died and literally on my phone on Twitter, it just goes, you have to see,
20:57 - 21:11
at Max Rushden's rant about the Royal Family and I'm like, holy fuck, this is really bad timing because I haven't said anything bad about the Queen, it's just lie low if you're going to say anything on this particular day and so then I had to,
21:11 - 21:18
I messaged everybody I knew at that radio station and then the plane took off and I was like, in an hour I may land and be killed as I land.
21:18 - 21:22
May just be hung as I land, babe. Like the lady from the book. Yeah.
21:22 - 21:28
Exactly. Did you have to issue a statement? Did you have to clarify your previous, previous remarks?
21:28 - 21:36
Me and Jamie had to stand outside the front door with our children. Yeah. And I just, I basically just said I'd be having an affair to take them off the scent.
21:36 - 21:40
That seemed the smartest thing. Sorry, back on track, Tim. Yeah. You've got a hard out.
21:40 - 21:46
Yeah, hard out. So there was a man next to me who was an old man and he was paying more for his parking than his breakfast.
21:46 - 21:56
Interesting. Yeah. That's a classic older man thing to say to you. Yeah. Well, he told the way to that.
21:57 - 22:01
And then when the young lady came that he was having breakfast with, he told her that.
22:01 - 22:05
And she was also paying more for her parking than her breakfast but she lived a five minute walk away.
22:05 - 22:17
Well, these people shouldn't have got beanie weenie weenies then. Beanie weenie woos. Yeah, if you pay that much for parking, don't get the beanie weenie woos and the kid's dippy eggs.
22:17 - 22:23
Do you strike up a conversation or do you just stick to yourself and then get out of there?
22:23 - 22:26
How long are you in the cafe? I'm not a striking up conversation kind of a guy.
22:26 - 22:31
I'm in the cafe for 50 minutes. Okay. And are you just checking on the film still while you're there as well?
22:31 - 22:34
Are you still doing that? Yeah, I'm on my phone just checking on the film.
22:34 - 22:43
Okay. It's like an emperor penguin and his egg. I see, I see. My phone is on my foot and I'm sort of crouching over it just making sure the film's going okay.
22:43 - 22:55
And how does that manifest itself? Is that just checking what people have said on social media about the movie or are you looking at say, are you looking at like box office?
22:55 - 23:00
What have you smashed between? 6.30 and 7.30 a.m.? You don't even want to know. I mean, it's ugly.
23:00 - 23:06
Some of the stuff I'm looking at. I'm taking a deep dive. Okay. I'm checking what it's up to on Rotten Tomatoes.
23:06 - 23:19
How's it going? 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. that's pretty good. Keezy, can I just ask you, is it because in the past you've been a star of the silver screen for many years now,
23:19 - 23:31
but it does seem that when you were in Terminator 7 or whatever your last movie was, you wouldn't have been constantly checking Rotten Tomatoes to see the reviews of it.
23:31 - 23:38
Is it, do you feel much more personally involved in the, are you sick of this film yet?
23:38 - 23:41
That's what I mean. No, this is our film. So we're very emotionally invested in it.
23:41 - 23:52
And we have a lot of passion for it. We love it. And I suppose we're in this sort of window where the film will sort of have its kind of life in cinemas.
23:52 - 24:06
It doesn't excuse checking things, but we're kind of quite proactive We do things like Basden last week went into a cinema in Hampstead and said, I'm in this film, Ballad of Wallace Island.
24:06 - 24:10
And they said, yeah, how many tickets? He's like, no, no, I don't want to see it.
24:10 - 24:15
I'm wondering if you wanted to do a Q&A? And so that's the state we're in.
24:15 - 24:21
We're doing a Q&A there on Sunday. And I don't think that's how Daniel Day-Lewis is setting up his Q&As.
24:21 - 24:33
Basden just waddling around Hampstead looking for cinemas. This reminds me of my mother at the height of Danger Is Everywhere fever.
24:33 - 24:40
When I had that children's book out, she would simply take copies of it and place them all around the bookstore.
24:40 - 24:46
Put them in staff picks. Put them in top 10. It did not matter. You can't go in the staff pick.
24:46 - 24:53
That's naughty. The staff pick. People pay for the staff pick, don't they? Yeah, I think it's all paid for, but no one answers around.
24:53 - 25:00
And then also hilariously ordering copies of it. In fairness, she would buy them and give them to people.
25:00 - 25:05
But there is something funny about Do You Have Dangerous Everywhere by David O'Doherty. No, we can get it in.
25:05 - 25:11
What's the name? Anne O'Doherty. Yeah, even in Ireland. It's the Yellow Pages advert, isn't it?
25:11 - 25:20
J.R. Hartley. J.R. Hartley. My dad, just to check I'm doing okay still, will always message me to tell me that I'm still in the Radio Times for the talk show.
25:20 - 25:26
The last person to buy the Radio Times. Still in the Radio Times. Must be good.
25:26 - 25:30
You know, you know. Doesn't say anything about the show, just the name. Just the name, just there and then.
25:30 - 25:40
But that's enough. Well, the film's going well because Graham emailed, who's a friend of my parents, and he emailed saying, congratulations on the film.
25:40 - 25:50
Someone from band practice has seen it. Okay, so it must be 8.20. It must be 8.20.
25:50 - 25:55
Maybe 8.30 even. What are you up to now, Tim? I phone my friend. It's time to speak to someone.
25:55 - 26:04
Okay, that's nice. And I phone my friend Johnny Sweet, the material talent, and that takes me all the way into town.
26:04 - 26:13
That's a one-hour phone conversation. What do you talk about? Life. Oh, wow. On the bus or are you walking into town?
26:13 - 26:22
Oh, getting the steps up. I did, if you really want to know, steps-wise yesterday was 21,000.
26:22 - 26:27
Oh, wow. I'm excited to know if I was higher or lower. That will do you.
26:27 - 26:34
You'll be lower. You'll be lower than that. You'll be lower than that. That's a bit of a shame, yeah, because I've had some big days recently.
26:34 - 26:39
I had a 23,000 the other day, but yeah, yesterday, because I played football, so that doesn't, no, hang on.
26:39 - 26:42
The phone doesn't know that, though. No one knows your steps. Don't carry it with me.
26:42 - 26:47
You're right. I'm only 11,000. It's a pretty average day for me. Well done. That's a good day.
26:47 - 26:54
Not at all. Now, we'll rattle through this. Next bit is, I mean, not the whole thing, but I'm just going to like, the next thing is booth recce.
26:54 - 26:59
Uh-huh. What's that? To check that this booth, this is the booth. I'm in the booth.
26:59 - 27:04
Oh, right. You're in a booth. Yeah, but I wanted to do a booth recce just to check that I could do the podcast from here.
27:04 - 27:12
This is at my talent agency. I'm talent. Yeah. And then... How do you feel about the word talent to describe?
27:12 - 27:18
Because when I was at Sky... He's a talent. No, I understand. I believe Tim Key's a talent, but at Sky...
27:18 - 27:26
What a debate. The presenters had to park. There was literally, it said talent, and it just felt uneasy for me to put my Y-Rage Cleo.
27:26 - 27:30
You have to accept that you're a talent. It says it in the contracts. Yeah, it does say it.
27:30 - 27:36
It does. It is true. Here to forever after known as the talent. That's what it'll say, isn't it?
27:36 - 27:45
Oh, yeah. The booth is nice. I like it. The booth is good. The booth is not completely soundproof, so it's probably disrupting people's work.
27:45 - 27:54
But it's good. It's a good setup. I had to do this because having a meeting directly after this, and so it's just for timings, because otherwise, you know, everything gets scrunched, doesn't it?
27:54 - 28:02
So booth recce. Then off to Global to do an interview with Emily Maitlis. No.
28:02 - 28:13
Okay. Hang on. That's the news agents. That's a definitely world events-based podcast. Yep. So the film didn't come up, but we've got stuck into Yemen.
28:13 - 28:19
Yeah, Yemen and a bit of LA. Okay, that's good. How long are you with Emily?
28:19 - 28:28
I used to work with Emily Maitlis. What? Did you? Yeah, at BBC London. She probably went and our breakfast show host bought a skip and put it in.
28:28 - 28:33
She's probably in a mind going, these fucking idiots. But I imagine she was hosting the BBC on the news at the time.
28:33 - 28:43
Yeah, she exudes authority, Tim, I think. Yep. She's classy. She's confident. She's intimidating. Yeah.
28:43 - 28:51
She's, well, luckily, she's very enthusiastic. John Sopel was there as well. They put me at ease.
28:52 - 29:00
The, you know, terrifying environment of a news podcast. But, you know, I was like emailing before just that I was making it very clear.
29:00 - 29:05
In fact, I said, I don't want to do that, Emily. When she asked me to do it.
29:05 - 29:09
And then she said, it's fine, we won't talk about news. And I said, promise.
29:09 - 29:14
I had certain assurances. And then at one point, John Sopel said, why didn't you want to talk about the news?
29:14 - 29:22
I don't want to talk about news. I mean, honestly, to go on the news agent and talk about the news, that'd be crazy.
29:22 - 29:27
A few things here. You've got Maidless's number. That could be fun in the future.
29:27 - 29:32
Just when you're in the park and it's a nice evening. Maidless, do you want to come and have a few cans?
29:32 - 29:41
Something like that. I certainly would not put that past her. Would you? A four pack of Hofmeister?
29:41 - 29:47
She'd have a giant can of Faxi. Do you remember those? It was like, remember a big can of Faxi?
29:47 - 29:52
It was like the last old ring pull. And it was like two or three, two pints.
29:52 - 29:55
It was so warm by the end of it. But I think Maidless is a Faxi.
29:55 - 30:03
She's a Faxi drinker is my, that would be my guess. I have one thing in common with Maidless, which is the first two times I asked you to do this podcast,
30:03 - 30:13
Tim, you just responded, capitals, no. Yeah. Well, they do say that the second best thing of the yes is a very quick, polite, no.
30:13 - 30:21
Capitals is not polite. It's politer than small letters, isn't it? I always think capitals means you're sort of being polite.
30:21 - 30:29
Hang on. What have I been doing? Take it. Did you watch the Prince Andrew interview to prep yourself for Maidless?
30:29 - 30:35
Just so you know, all her tricks. I watched the most recently. Well, I can't tell you when I watched it.
30:35 - 30:43
It wasn't yesterday. I didn't rewatch it. If your prep had been to go to that pizza express in Woking or whatever it was, that would be the way.
30:43 - 30:49
I suspect most guests on the news agent. What was the nightclub called? Yeah, that's a good question.
30:49 - 30:53
Wasn't it a Fez? Was it? Wasn't it a Fez club? No, it's not a Fez, no.
30:53 - 31:01
It's called like some like skank or something, isn't it? It's called skank, skanky, skanky.
31:01 - 31:06
Who's going to skanky? Well, Prince Andrew is going to skank. He is, yeah, absolutely.
31:06 - 31:10
Oh yes, it was, it was the posh one. I don't know. I've never been.
31:10 - 31:16
It goes well, despite Soaple. Like technically, I don't want to talk about the news.
31:16 - 31:20
And then he asks you, why don't you want to talk about the news? Is talking about the news.
31:20 - 31:24
I think you could have walked out at that moment. Oh, I think I should have.
31:24 - 31:27
I think that should have been earpiece out. Yeah. Get my Bee Gees on. Yeah.
31:27 - 31:33
I'm getting my Bee Gees on next week, I think, with Clive Anderson. Oh yeah.
31:33 - 31:37
Great walk out of the Clive Anderson one. Oh yeah. Okay. I understand that reference now.
31:37 - 31:42
It took me a while. It's late. Malaysian food for lunch. And that was genuinely because I was doing this podcast today.
31:42 - 31:51
I'm not set for lunch. I can't get a brat. Then I went past this Malaysian Singapore sort of restaurant near Leicester Square.
31:51 - 31:54
I thought I should probably go in there in case there's some fun happening in there.
31:54 - 31:58
And was there any fun? Well, no. It was just too much food really for lunch.
31:58 - 32:03
Anyway, left without paying. So that's an anecdote in itself. Really? Oh yeah. Is that because the film's doing well?
32:03 - 32:11
You're able to do that? Just point the rotten tomatoes at them? Sail out? I think it would be because the film was going badly is why I'd be walking out without paying.
32:11 - 32:18
No, I did remember and go back in and pay. Right. What's a Malaysian Singaporean fusion meal setting you back?
32:18 - 32:24
Was it, I mean, more or less than parking if you were to have parked It's parking times 1.5.
32:24 - 32:28
Wow, interesting. From what I can gather from the old man's anecdote I think he was paying £12.
32:28 - 32:44
Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. What did you have? It was called something like straight chicken which was chicken on the bone in a coconut curry sauce with a jasmine rice and a sparkling water but I already took a sparkling water in
32:44 - 32:54
as well I'd had at the newsagents so I had two sparkling waters on the table one that I brought in one fresh and I went for a wee.
32:54 - 33:00
Okay, good stuff. Was it your first wee of the day? No, I went for a wee after the Martin incident.
33:00 - 33:06
About 4.30 is about the right time anyway. Okay, so where are we off to after our Malaysian feast?
33:06 - 33:12
Okay, then we're off to a high-powered meeting of Undisclosed Project. Whoa! Hang on a second.
33:12 - 33:17
How many people in the room, Tim? That's all we need to know. Four. Four, okay.
33:17 - 33:24
Oh, I've got us. I've got us. Oh, you've got it. Basden Mulligan Key Barrymore.
33:24 - 33:32
Yeah, it's Ballad of Wallace Island 2 featuring Barrymore. Strike it lucky. Yeah, yeah. No, they're remaking E.T.
33:32 - 33:41
It's true, Barrymore. Oh, yeah, good. No, but they're remaking it with Michael Barrymore and that makes it a different movie.
33:41 - 33:47
And I take the role of the alien. Okay, so there's four in the room and how long does the high-powered meeting take?
33:47 - 34:12
Well, it probably takes about two and a half hours because I need to phone Naomi before six and I'm looking at it and it's getting very 5.40 and the plan after that is phone Naomi and then go for a run and then take away and then watch Mountain Men.
34:12 - 34:18
Right. We're still in the high-powered meeting. My question is, of the four, do you know all of them?
34:18 - 34:23
Can I just give you a quick heads up? None of that happened. Okay. Back to the meeting.
34:23 - 34:29
Okay. Back to the meeting. Back to the meeting. There are four of you in the meeting.
34:29 - 34:32
Do you know all the people in there or is this like the first time?
34:32 - 34:38
You know everyone in there? Yep. Okay. Know them and like them. Know them and like them.
34:38 - 34:47
Putin, Trump, Zelensky, Key. No. Okay. Two of them had the same name. Surname or first name?
34:47 - 34:52
Nickname. Or complete the same name? Yeah. Was it Gary's do you remember there used to be two Gary Stevens?
34:52 - 34:56
Gary Stevens. Is it the two Gary Stevens? The Rangers and the Everton one? Yep.
34:56 - 35:03
It was the two Gary Stevens and Trevor Fennick Terry Fennick. Okay. But is the meeting a success?
35:03 - 35:08
Do you come out going this thing that we can't talk about it's going to happen and I'm excited about it?
35:08 - 35:14
No, no. The meeting was was very useful. There'll be another meeting but there was there was progress.
35:14 - 35:23
Wow. Okay. So. I don't have enough meetings like this David. Zelensky has agreed to see some of the Donbar region.
35:23 - 35:33
It's not Zelensky. It's Terry Fennick. Yeah. I don't know why I'm having to talk about news more in what did I do yesterday than in the news agents when we made this.
35:33 - 35:39
I'm just going to say one thing Tim and it's advice more than anything. Yeah.
35:39 - 35:45
This film's great and it's doing great. You're allowed to ring Naomi during the meeting.
35:45 - 35:50
You can be the guy who just stands up raises one finger now and goes into the corner.
35:50 - 35:55
You know what I mean? And just, yabbers on to Naomi to get that call in pre 6pm.
35:55 - 36:01
No? Am I wrong here? I think I'm right. I think there speaks someone who can't judge meetings.
36:01 - 36:15
I've never been in a meeting. It's true. I don't have a clue. You have to, in a meeting, in the cut and thrust of a meeting, you have to just be constantly making calculations and you'll learn that as you go deeper into your career, David.
36:15 - 36:21
Great question. At the meeting, are there little, are there drinks? Is anything served? More sparkling?
36:21 - 36:42
Okay, so, okay, okay, okay. So, I've jettisoned the sparkling water by this point. I've got a black coffee and I've got, earlier that day, I went to a shop when I was walking from Booth Reckie to Maitlis with my agent.
36:42 - 36:52
We went into a shop. I bought the sparkling water which would appear later and I needed to get over £1.50 so I had to buy what do you think?
36:52 - 37:00
Chewing gum. It's not gum and these are now, I'm handing these out or rather I'm tapping them out onto the table in the meeting.
37:00 - 37:04
Dime bar. It's a dime bar and you crushed it under your fist. I'm tapping them out.
37:04 - 37:10
Mint. They're mints. Oh yeah, sminths. Sminths, Tim. Very good but I'm not tapping out sminths.
37:10 - 37:14
Yeah, here we go. Did you buy a Pez dispenser with a... No. That wouldn't be...
37:14 - 37:19
You can't do that in meetings. They are sweets. I would say this is the most famous sweet in the world.
37:21 - 37:27
You tap them out. You do nowadays. You used to have to take the lid off and see what letter you had.
37:27 - 37:33
Now it's made of cardboard and you tap them out. Smarties don't all have letters.
37:33 - 37:39
Do you have Smarties? Smarties. I thought they just had an S on them. No, they used to have on the underside of the lid they used to have a letter.
37:39 - 37:44
Oh yes, you did. You're right. Okay, so you bought just a little, just one tiny Smarties for the whole meeting?
37:44 - 37:50
It was the one tiny Smarties for the whole meeting. Okay. And in this high power meeting does anyone else...
37:50 - 38:03
Is that the only thing that is considered consumed in the high power meeting? That is all that's consumed because the meeting is not one of those meetings which is kind of vaguely overlapping with breakfast or lunch.
38:03 - 38:10
This meeting is a discreet meeting at 4pm. It sounds like you're not like throwing ideas around.
38:10 - 38:14
There'd be lots of food around. This is a... Are there lots of laughs in this meeting or is it quite serious?
38:14 - 38:24
No laughs. There's no laughs in this meeting. It's quite serious. Okay. And laughs. But also what you need to know is what happens next is let's go and have a quick pint afterwards.
38:24 - 38:29
All four of you? Okay. Yes. All four of us plus a fifth who joined in the pub.
38:29 - 38:36
And then there were lots of laughs. Okay. And there was also one joke was made up that I wrote down.
38:36 - 38:40
Do you want to hear the joke? Yes, please. Yeah, yeah. I live in a very odd house.
38:40 - 38:54
Three. I live in a very odd house. Three. Yeah, that's quite good. Back to the Back to the meeting.
38:54 - 39:06
No. No, I have one more question. I have one more question. Are the other three people in the room in terms of levels of fame slash talent where do you sit in the four?
39:06 - 39:12
If you were to be asked who's the most famous person sitting in this pub or in this meeting where do you rank?
39:12 - 39:24
Well, if truth be told And don't be humble. Tell us the truth. Well, if truth be told the the other four are all people you would associate with their their work behind the camera.
39:24 - 39:29
Ah, I see. Okay. I'm on more than nodding terms with the old pen. Don't worry about that.
39:29 - 39:34
But I'm also no stranger to front of camera. Yeah, that's true. Increasingly. That's true.
39:34 - 39:42
Wow, Scorsese. Yeah. No, it's not Scorsese. M. Night Shalaman. Shalaman. It's not M. Shalaman.
39:42 - 39:53
It's not Shalaman. I'm out. Kubrick. Kubrick. Kubrick. No longer with us. Wow, that's a turn up for the books if you've...
39:53 - 40:00
A weekend at Bernie's. Yeah. Dead Kubrick. Dead Kubrick knocking back the pints. How many pints do you have, Tim?
40:00 - 40:13
Great question. What happened was I drank the first sip of the pint and I, in my own heart, knew that the run was not now on the cards.
40:13 - 40:18
Of course. That's fair. But you were free then. That is a really liberating moment, isn't it?
40:18 - 40:23
I knew immediately. Yeah. There was a lot of good stuff in that pub. We got mints, flavoured crisps.
40:23 - 40:32
Mints. Alright, beef mints. Beef mints crisps. Beef mints crisps. Yeah, beef mints crisps. I found out something.
40:32 - 40:39
Oh, yeah. This is the theme of this next bit is finding out someone knows who you are.
40:39 - 40:52
Okay. But this happens a lot now. Hang on. Just to pre-empt this. Yeah. Increasingly, people are like, that's bloody Tim Cheese from, you're outside a lot of the cinemas now.
40:52 - 41:00
I sent you a picture the other day of me just going and the other one was like Avengers multiplex domination in 6D.
41:00 - 41:07
And then and the other one was the Ballad of Wallace and Gromit Island. Big time.
41:07 - 41:16
But also, there's quite a lot of that's the guy who left Hills Road Sixth Form College just before Max went to Hills Road Sixth Form College.
41:16 - 41:25
Oh, wow. Yeah. What year did you start there, Max? 95. There must have been someone in common who was in the first year in 94.
41:25 - 41:29
Yeah. It was in the year below me and the year above you. So hang on, what's this?
41:29 - 41:36
Must be. Is this like because your education system is different to ours. Is this just a a class for when you're 17 and 18?
41:36 - 41:40
Yeah. Is that what that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you both went to the same one.
41:40 - 41:44
Wow. What did you study, Max? Maybe we have the same teacher. Oh, that's true.
41:44 - 41:49
I did double maths history in German. Well, let me just tell you this. Yeah.
41:49 - 41:54
Can I do one anecdote outside of the day? We may not include it in the edit, but you can.
41:54 - 41:59
You might have to get rid of it. But we went to do a screening in Exeter, which is Basden's hometown.
41:59 - 42:04
And when they started the screening, they paused it so that we could do an introduction.
42:04 - 42:08
I've never seen that really at a screening. And then when they pressed play again, they couldn't get it to work.
42:08 - 42:16
But they got the sounds working, but not the picture. So then I'm sat with Basden and we're both thinking, well, they can't just show it without a picture.
42:16 - 42:21
So then I leave. And then I'm running around the cinema looking for a projectionist and making an amazing situation.
42:21 - 42:27
And then as I'm trying to find a projectionist, a man says to me, ah, Tim Key.
42:27 - 42:31
And I look at this guy, he looks at me and he goes, I taught you.
42:31 - 42:36
And I'm like, yeah, I mean, there's 150 people down there listening to our film, but okay.
42:36 - 42:48
Well, anyway, he was Mr. Turner. What did he teach? He taught history. Mr. Turner.
42:48 - 42:54
I had Mr. Lang and Mr. Mr. Lang. Mr. Lang. Yeah. Who else do you have?
42:54 - 42:58
Who was your form tutor? We don't have time for this. Did you have Mr. Thomas?
42:58 - 43:05
You can make time. I can push my meeting. Mr. Thomas was allergic. Mr. Thomas was a math teacher who was allergic to chocolate.
43:05 - 43:12
Well, how can he be allergic to chocolate? I don't know, he was. He had to lie horizontal on a desk for one lesson because he was allergic to chocolate.
43:12 - 43:17
I've just finished a book where someone was allergic to fishes. So it can happen.
43:17 - 43:23
Can happen. We need an impersonation of one of these teachers from each of you.
43:23 - 43:29
And I invite Max to do the first one. I just don't think I could do an impression of Mr. Lang.
43:29 - 43:36
Come on. I can still do impersonations of a lot of my teachers. He was actually just a pretty sound guy.
43:36 - 43:41
In fact, he was really good because my coursework was shit. And he said, if you redo it, I'll make it better.
43:41 - 43:45
And I did that. And that really helped me get into university to study history.
43:45 - 43:49
So thanks, Mr. Lang. There we go. I think we've wrapped up our teacher section.
43:49 - 43:59
I think so. No, no, no. Hang on. I just need to know, did you get, it's the sign of a great film that you can just listen to it with no visuals.
43:59 - 44:04
But did you get the visuals back in Exeter? I just need to know that.
44:04 - 44:12
We got the visuals back. We started the film from the start again. And then afterwards, I went to the pub with Will Adamsdale and Mike Wozniak.
44:12 - 44:18
And it was fantastic. Oh, great. Okay, so we're in this pub. How many points are you having?
44:18 - 44:26
You haven't told us that yet, Tim. I believe, I had three pints of Alpine lager because it was a Samuel Smith pub.
44:26 - 44:33
And then a half a pint of Alpine lager. And then an Uber. And then back to where I live.
44:33 - 44:40
Same direction as one of the people from the meeting. And we went and had last orders in our local...
44:40 - 44:44
Oh, that's great. Wow, it's 11 o'clock. Do you know what? I think it was last orders.
44:44 - 44:50
I think it did get to 11 o'clock. This is the shortest episode. I mean, normally, we haven't got to breakfast yet.
44:50 - 44:55
I mean, I know you've got a hard out, but... Well, we still haven't discussed who I found out knows who I am.
44:55 - 45:02
Oh, yeah, okay. Who was that? Well, because it's one of my heroes. And I found out that he knows who I am.
45:02 - 45:10
Was he in the pub? No, there was an anecdote which necessitated him knowing who I am.
45:10 - 45:17
And then me pausing the narrator and saying, what are you talking about? He knows who I am.
45:17 - 45:23
And them saying, yeah, he knows who you are. And me saying, that's mad. Dion Dublin.
45:23 - 45:28
Is it Dion Dublin? If I found out that Dion Dublin knew who I was, I think that would be me.
45:28 - 45:34
That would be me all done. I mean, I bumped into... Can I just quickly do an anecdote from outside of yesterday?
45:34 - 45:42
You can, but the usual caveats apply. I met John Murray, Conor McNamara, Jonathan Overend, and Cornelius Leiser in the pub.
45:42 - 45:46
Really good. Yeah. And they knew who I was. And John Murray... Who were they?
45:46 - 45:51
Who the hell are they? They're our most celebrated radio sports commentators They're with the opposition.
45:51 - 45:57
They're the Five Live team. You've got some celebrated ones down at old Talkie Sporty, haven't you?
45:57 - 46:01
Yeah, we do, of course. Who's your favourite down there? I mean, I love Hawksby and Jacobs.
46:01 - 46:07
But an actual commentator. Oh, as an actual commentator? Do you know what? I'm a big Joe Shannon fan.
46:07 - 46:12
As they go. Oh, wow. That's good. He's a youngster, but I think he's got the chops for it.
46:12 - 46:15
That's good. I think he's got a bright future as Shannon. The hipster's choice. All high quality.
46:15 - 46:23
Ian Danter is, you know, he is a big star. I never thought this would happen, but I really, I really feel this has gone too niche for me, this podcast.
46:23 - 46:28
Oh, yeah. No, good point. Okay. Good point. Anyway, who have you been surprised by that they know who you are, David?
46:28 - 46:39
One time I was locking my bike and a fella ran out and said, you're that guy off Countdown, the TV show.
46:39 - 46:46
And I was locking my bike and I was like, yes, I am. And I looked up and it was 1985 world snooker champion, Dennis Taylor.
46:46 - 46:54
And he said, do you want to come in to Devitt's? I'm having a pint with Stephen Hendry and Ken Daherty.
46:54 - 46:59
And I went in for a pint with them. Wow. That's excellent. That's very good.
46:59 - 47:06
Who's yours, Max? I have nothing that competes with that. Nothing that can compete. I mean, it's probably some footballers back in the glory days.
47:06 - 47:16
Joe Swale? I was once walking down the street and I was stopped by Bill Wurbenick and Tony Mio.
47:16 - 47:20
Wow. I had a pint with the two of them. There'll be many pints. Yeah, it would.
47:20 - 47:35
And he narrowed the genre. Is it a writer or an actor? I'd say maybe one of the most like despicably talented products of the British Isles of the last 50 years.
47:35 - 47:42
Insanely, insanely talented. Yeah, you know that I know you. So, why is that surprising?
47:42 - 47:49
This guy's working in a different universe. Paul Daniels, the magician? This guy's an amazing sportsman.
47:50 - 47:55
But that's not what he's known as. Oh, right. This guy is a brilliant musician.
47:55 - 48:01
Not what he's known as. What? Is it Rick Abrams? A fantastic writer, novelist. Not what he's known for.
48:01 - 48:09
And then, what he's known for, a fantastic comedy actor and a world-class straight actor.
48:09 - 48:15
Can do the lot. On screen. He's got everything. This guy's got everything. Okay. Yeah.
48:15 - 48:19
Is he old? Is he an old guy? He's an old guy. But he's not an old guy.
48:19 - 48:23
I don't consider him an old guy. But if you looked at the dates, there's no way around it.
48:23 - 48:29
He's an old guy. Nigel Havers. I think I'm taking five years off and adding 30% of talent on.
48:29 - 48:36
Okay. So, it's five years younger than Havers and 30% more talented than Havers. This is a really fun game.
48:36 - 48:42
And Havers is talented, believe me. No, you can't knock Havers. But I don't think Havers has got the sport and the music in addition to the suave.
48:42 - 48:46
Have we got a published novel? He's published a novel, yeah. Maybe just the one.
48:46 - 49:02
I mean, Ardolo Hanlon. Pretty good. He's published a novel This guy is 10 years older and it's difficult because I love Ardolo but I would say 10% more talented only because of his reach is just extraordinary.
49:02 - 49:11
He was probably your favourite, Max, when you were about 15. My favourite comedian or actor or In there, in there probably.
49:11 - 49:16
Well, I'd probably have Bob Mortimer. You know, with that. 10 years older. No, 5 years older.
49:16 - 49:24
Same talent. Same talent as Bob, 5 years older. Is it Paul Whitehouse? It's 5 years older.
49:24 - 49:35
Well, I don't know. I mean, I love Paul Whitehouse, but same talent. Do you reckon we've all met him?
49:35 - 49:43
I once, just to speak north of yesterday, I was once in a hotel breakfast and didn't have the courage to go over to him.
49:43 - 49:49
That's the closest I've been. A really good sports person and musician. Sports novel musician.
49:50 - 49:59
Actually, that's the big four. Iconic. One, two, I'd say two absolutely copper-bottomed iconic roles.
49:59 - 50:06
Iconic. I'd say probably three. You have to say three. Iconic. Is it Morgan Freeman?
50:06 - 50:16
It's not Freeman. Okay. 20 years younger, 2% better. This guy's as English as hot-buttered grumpets. Is it Tim Henman?
50:16 - 50:21
I've not seen a lot of his acting work, but... It's not Henman. His novel is bullshit Henman's novel isn't.
50:21 - 50:28
I think I'm going to be embarrassed that I haven't got it yet. I just think that's the, you know, when it gets to that stage, I'll be like, I can't believe I haven't got it.
50:28 - 50:32
But I don't want you to tell us, but I'm aware you have a hard out in 10 minutes.
50:32 - 50:37
It's funny, and then he gets funnier, and then he goes, okay, you think that was funny?
50:37 - 50:41
How about this? And then he goes, oh, you think that was good? How about this?
50:41 - 50:46
Billy Connolly? 10 years younger, same talent. I'm always going to have the same talent now.
50:46 - 50:53
Same talent as Connolly and Mortar. Yeah, they're all the same talent, and then Havers is 30% less talented.
50:53 - 51:00
It turns out that Havers is the least talented of all, of every... Is it Bean?
51:00 - 51:07
Is it Mr. Bean? Now we're getting close. Okay. Same age, same talent. Oh, Laurie.
51:07 - 51:19
Probably close friends. Hugh Laurie. Yeah. Whoa! He knows Keezy. This is where, if this anecdote is anything to go by, I am a meagre blip on Hugh Laurie's radar.
51:19 - 51:26
Wow, that's Has he written a novel? I know the music thing. Yes. He wrote a novel called The Gun Seller, I believe.
51:26 - 51:31
What are you putting as his two iconic roles? House? I'd say House and Bertie Worcester.
51:31 - 51:36
Yeah, probably. But also, only because he sort of did lots of different roles in Blackadder.
51:36 - 51:45
I suppose Prince Regent probably would be... It's up there. Also, yeah. It was funny, the leap that we went from Dion Dublin to Hugh Laurie.
51:45 - 51:50
I think it took about six steps to get from one to the other. Do you know Dion Dublin, Max?
51:50 - 51:56
I know Dion Dublin, yeah. So, to the listeners, I think we were there after everyone who knows who Dion Dublin is.
51:56 - 51:59
I know we have quite a big audience in the States. Don't worry. They all know.
51:59 - 52:06
Who doesn't know Dion? He's featured in my new book, Dion Dublin. Has he? I reference Dion Dublin very hard in my new book.
52:06 - 52:11
Can I mention my new book? Or is that... Well, I can say... Yeah, yesterday I made a phone call about my new book.
52:11 - 52:17
Right, here's some stuff about my new book. My new book's called L.A. Baby.
52:17 - 52:22
Yes. And it's a book about my experiences in... I was in L.A. in the fall last year.
52:22 - 52:32
Right. Oh, wow. But you weren't there yesterday? I wasn't there yesterday. No, okay. No, but I did have my L.A. cap on and I was in the newsagent studio when there was a lot of news about L.A.
52:32 - 52:35
that I didn't want to get involved with. That is true. Yeah, yeah, good point.
52:35 - 52:39
Okay, so you're having one last pint with one of the four, one of the great four.
52:39 - 52:47
Yeah, one of the fab four. Right, okay. And then is it straight home? Then it is back home and then it's go to bed.
52:47 - 52:52
Hang on. Step my lance. Hang on. Who's struggling with their... Wait, we haven't got to that yet.
52:52 - 53:01
It's just apparently someone's ballooned. Anyway. Are we worried about them? Is it like a ticking time bomb?
53:01 - 53:10
No, ballooned but happy is the feedback I'm getting. BBH, as it's known. All you've had is a single smarty and some mince crisps.
53:10 - 53:24
He had a nasi goreng, didn't he? It's a great, great point. Okay, it's toast under the grill and then it's meanwhile chop up some onion and some chilies and then it's sliced some cheese,
53:24 - 53:32
flip the toast over and it's cheese, chili and onion with a lot of black pepper and a pint of water.
53:32 - 53:37
Question. Do you fry the onion before you put it under the grill? No, no interest.
53:37 - 53:41
No interest in that. But it's a red onion. Oh, it's a red onion. Okay.
53:41 - 53:48
Forget those onion-based questions. They're irrelevant. What time do I set my alarm for? 4.30 to get ahead of Martin.
53:48 - 53:53
Oh yeah, give him a proper welcome. So I'm standing outside my door with a baseball bat.
53:53 - 54:06
Naked. I set my alarm for... Now you two need to wake up and listen to your guests because I set my alarm for 6am.
54:06 - 54:13
Why? Why do you think? I mean, surely it doesn't take four hours to get from there to the booth.
54:13 - 54:17
Well, he's got to have his dippy eggs. What happened when I took that first sip of beer?
54:17 - 54:30
What fell by the wayside? Oh, the run. 6am in order to have a slice of toast with Nutella and then do some admin and slumber for a further hour and a half,
54:30 - 54:37
then the run. Wow. Famously, Wilson Kipkater, he broke the marathon world record after toast and Nutella.
54:37 - 54:40
I believe that is... Yeah, but he had the triangle of athletes ahead of him.
54:40 - 54:43
That's a very good point. I'd be mad to have a triangle of athletes at my treadmill.
54:43 - 54:48
Yeah, yeah. How do you get to sleep? How does Tim Key get to sleep?
54:48 - 54:54
Good question. Podcast. Podcast? Yeah. What have we got on? Usually one that I've heard before.
54:54 - 55:02
I would imagine from the entirely factual genre, you put one on about the Phoenicians or something like that.
55:02 - 55:06
I've probably gone to sleep with Max in the past, I must say. Yeah, I've done that.
55:06 - 55:18
Yeah, many do. Many do. Anyway, back to these podcasts. Yeah. Lol. Yeah, into bed, naked as the day I was born.
55:18 - 55:28
Alarm. Softly set. And podcast on. Eyes shut. Night-night. Wow. This has been the tightest ep.
55:28 - 55:34
It's 59 minutes and 40 seconds. It's extraordinary, the professionalism of... Oh, look, let me tell you this, Max.
55:34 - 55:42
I was on... If I can just do an anecdote from outside of yesterday. I was on with David on Saturday and I was down to do 20 minutes.
55:42 - 55:47
I did 20 minutes to the second. That's what I do, Max. Wow. That's wild, isn't it?
55:47 - 55:55
I must say, on reflection, two things. One, David calling you Keezy, the only person I'm aware of as Keezy is Richard Keyes.
55:55 - 56:00
So I was thinking we should get him at some point to complete the Key...
56:00 - 56:04
Well, you could also get Rob Key, the cricket Rob Key. Oh, that's true. He's also called Keezy, I believe.
56:04 - 56:09
Maybe get all three together. And I should also say that I loved your film.
56:09 - 56:14
My youngest, I watched it with him, he did sleep through pretty much all of it.
56:14 - 56:18
Oh, Key's not going to like this at all. I don't mind this. I don't mind this.
56:18 - 56:22
He slept through all of it That can be good for parents. It was the first film he's ever seen.
56:22 - 56:29
Oh, first film he ever saw. First film he ever saw. He only saw the last five minutes because he's only four months old.
56:29 - 56:33
But he seemed very happy at the end. Yeah, that's the feedback we've been getting.
56:33 - 56:41
From four month olds. Thank you very much for telling us what you did yesterday, Tim Key.
56:41 - 56:48
It's a whirlwind of a time for you, but I like that, you know, you're going on news podcasts.
56:48 - 56:56
You effectively are the news at the moment, but you're also finding a way to get mildly lashed as well.
56:56 - 57:02
And I respect that. It's quite a balanced day. I mean, it would have been completely balanced if the run had been in there, but the run didn't take long.
57:02 - 57:15
But it's pretty balanced. From what I know of you, it would have been, I mean, quite, might have given a strange impression if you'd done the run because it would have just been a day where you get up at 4.30am.
57:15 - 57:23
It's just relentless accomplishment followed by a run and then you were going to watch Monsters at War or something.
57:23 - 57:29
Monsters at War, yeah. Jesse Armstrong's new film. Oh yeah, that one. Monsters at War.
57:29 - 57:34
It's a good day. Did you feel it was a good day? You happy with that day?
57:34 - 57:44
If I'd had my time again, I think between the Malaysian lunch and the meeting about the Undisclosed Project, I think I would have phoned Naomi.
57:44 - 57:49
But, you know, you can't have regrets. Oh, you're right. Are you thinking Oscars? This one?
57:49 - 57:54
Have you started thinking, looking at 98% and thinking, okay. What percent do you need for an Oscar?
57:54 - 58:13
It's 94 and above, you get one. Yes! It's a guarantee. Well, imagine later today when they upload me and Max's review from our movie podcast and we tear that fucker to shreds and it goes back to 76.
58:13 - 58:17
That would be good. That would ground us. Tim, your next meeting is in one minute.
58:17 - 58:33
It is. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks, Tim. Thanks, Tim! Are you going to pick up, David?
58:33 - 58:37
You've introduced the whole show. You might as well. Now you've taken over the whole thing.
58:37 - 58:42
I mean, this is, of course, the last of Series 2. Are you planning on Series 3 to be the lead?
58:42 - 58:44
Are you going to be the lead now? Max, it's not me. It's just not me.
58:44 - 58:54
Does it feel wrong? I feel like a phony. Yeah, I feel you were able to come up the thing with energy at the start, whereas I just feel like if I meet someone IRL,
58:54 - 58:58
I'll be like, hey, how's it going? I won't be like, hey, you! Great to see you!
58:58 - 59:02
But I'm not like, when I meet people, I don't meet them like I'm introducing the news.
59:02 - 59:09
And I certainly give them a menu of the day. Coming up later on today's meeting.
59:09 - 59:15
Welcome. Hi, David. Today we'll be discussing Tim Keys yesterday. We'll do a little bit before and a little bit afterwards.
59:15 - 59:21
And then we'll point people in the direction of how to get in touch really important for interaction for midweek mayhem.
59:21 - 59:27
Without them, that little bit of the podcast would be nothing. But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy What Did You Do Yesterday?
59:27 - 59:37
How good were Bath and Bev on the morning show? I heard another one. Wow, I heard a really good commercial radio one.
59:37 - 59:53
It was like classic. This poor guy's doing like, you know, Sunday 10 till 1. And he said, oh, it's gonna, because I was listening to it thinking I've got to remember this for What Did You Do Yesterday because it was just so banal and he found it so funny.
59:53 - 59:59
It was just like, it's a bank holiday, so I bet you're enjoying Not Going to Work Today.
59:59 - 1:00:04
Here's the levelers. So it wasn't the levelers. It was not that kind of radio station.
1:00:04 - 1:00:11
It wasn't the levelers. It definitely wasn't. It was definitely dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, ba-ding, whatever that song is.
1:00:11 - 1:00:18
That's the only levelers song I know as well. So anyway, what did you make of Tim's day?
1:00:18 - 1:00:26
I love the start of the day. I love at the start because I did wonder I was, I love Tim Key with Establishments, but I thought he might play silly buggers with us.
1:00:26 - 1:00:33
I thought he might deviate from the truth. And so it was a little bit when there was an intruder trying to get into his flat at 4.30 that I was like,
1:00:33 - 1:00:38
he was going to send us on a merry ride. But actually, it was a fun way for his day to begin.
1:00:38 - 1:00:51
Yeah. What I loved about it was that he is very excited. Like Tim has been in lots of movies and lots of TV, you know, stuff like Alan Partridge, all of that.
1:00:51 - 1:01:02
But he is so personally involved in the Ballad of Wallace Island. I love that he was just able to say he's constantly checking for feedback.
1:01:02 - 1:01:15
Like, you know, Tim is besotted with this film because I look at his Instagram and his social media and he's just, you know, normally when people, if people say something nice about your work,
1:01:15 - 1:01:31
you're slightly embarrassed and you're like, thank you, very much. But Tim is doing the publicity thing of retweeting and all of that because he clearly so loves this project and he's right to because it is a project made with love.
1:01:31 - 1:01:41
So, yeah. Yeah. And obviously, when I watched it, David, I was like, I could, not I could do that because it's really good, but like, no, no, I was thinking,
1:01:41 - 1:01:49
I would know, do you know, I said this to Jamie, I said, I love this movie and it's really life-affirming, but also, I'd love, one day, to do something, you know,
1:01:49 - 1:01:56
that does elicit tears and is maybe more than just David lowering himself into a bath of his own cum.
1:01:56 - 1:02:07
I don't. I love this. I love this so much, but can I do a critically acclaimed movie on the side like that?
1:02:07 - 1:02:15
Is that how this works? No, we'll, there's been beautiful moments in the history of this podcast.
1:02:15 - 1:02:18
No, I'm not, I'm in it for life. Don't, like, let's not. No, I suggest I'm not in it for life.
1:02:18 - 1:02:26
Everything's showbiz. In my oeuvre, the critical acclaim, you know, that's, that's what I sometimes think.
1:02:26 - 1:02:32
There was a nice bit in this podcast in one of the first episodes. And it's bad.
1:02:32 - 1:02:41
It's series one, a year ago. Jen Brister's friend had hurt her back and left her children with Jen and Chloe.
1:02:41 - 1:02:51
That's true. And they just formed a new family together. That was a, and that's only in terms of broadcasting probably 60 hours ago, back so...
1:02:51 - 1:02:58
No, but oh, hang on. There was the guy that wondered why Adam Buxton and his sons had run past him at Waterloo.
1:02:58 - 1:03:03
And without this podcast, they'd have never discovered that. See, it's absolutely beautiful what we're doing here.
1:03:03 - 1:03:07
Slowly but surely, we're getting there. If you'd like to get in touch with the show, here's how.
1:03:07 - 1:03:14
To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:03:14 - 1:03:21
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod. And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:03:21 - 1:03:29
And if you didn't, please don't. Sorry, I introduced that bit. It's just muscle memory kicked in.
1:03:29 - 1:03:38
David's to do that bit. Hey, thanks, Tim Key. Thanks to you, David. Thanks very much for booking, Tim Key.
1:03:38 - 1:03:42
That's another great booking of yours. I just keep knocking it out of the park.
1:03:42 - 1:04:17
I just can't help it. Let's do another one soon. Thanks, listeners. Cheers. Bye. Bye.
1:04:17 - 1:04:21
Bye. Bye. Bye.