0:00 - 0:11
Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already.
0:11 - 0:20
I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.
0:20 - 0:25
But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared?
0:25 - 0:34
Too afraid of being censored by the man? Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
0:34 - 0:38
We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?
0:38 - 0:44
What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
0:44 - 0:51
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life? Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.
0:51 - 1:09
I'm Max Rushden. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Series 3, Episode 2 of sort of bonus Midweek Mayhem, Episode 2.
1:09 - 1:21
I know where we're at, David, now, because that jumped to Series 3. People have said that Series 3 has jumped the shark, but I just think people say that about Series 3 all the time.
1:21 - 1:34
I don't think people actually know what it means. So I feel like we're still delivering high-quality stuff, and I believe, and there is a caveat on the end of this, I believe this is the first time where both of us are broadcasting,
1:34 - 1:46
where everyone on the podcast is wearing Lululemon pants. Are you wearing Lululemon pants? Yeah, I've slipped on my Lulus this morning.
1:46 - 1:51
They're pretty good, eh? How are you finding them? I'm really having a good time with them.
1:51 - 1:59
This is the most like Spon Con we have ever, like this is an exact conversation that a company like that would dream.
2:00 - 2:09
I'm getting. And we have paid a large sum of money for these undies. Can you retrospectively ask for sponsorship?
2:09 - 2:16
Could we like play this to them? And rather than waiting for them to give us 50 grand to say, isn't Lululemon good?
2:16 - 2:20
Because I'll let you in on another thing, David. I'm also wearing Lululemon tracksuit trousers.
2:20 - 2:29
And they're really comfortable as well. Now, it is important to say we did record an episode with Tom Basden from the excellent Ballad of Wallace.
2:29 - 2:40
And Gromit Island. And we didn't ask him if he was wearing Lululemon. So there may have been another episode where all contributors were in Lululemon, but we can't be sure.
2:40 - 2:47
And I don't know him well enough to message him to ask him what pants he was wearing on that podcast.
2:47 - 2:54
Yeah, yeah, it's it's we could retrospectively go back and ask every guest what pants they have been wearing.
2:54 - 3:11
But that would be a tough ask for people, say, from a year ago. And the main curiosity would be Kumar and what poor pants have to withstand the traffic as they go up and down like a yo-yo.
3:11 - 3:22
Yeah. And while I think while we both completely believe in equality, I would find it harder to ask a woman who I don't really know who you booked, who I interviewed a year ago,
3:22 - 3:34
what pants they were wearing. Lou Sanders, what pants were you wearing last summer? What pants were you wearing last summer is the worst horror film of the franchise.
3:34 - 3:42
Hey, do you want some feedback? Well, I will just drop this in and this will bring a lovely chaos element to this.
3:42 - 3:53
Me and the Helen Copter are minding a cat and I am not. I grew up in the dog realm, raised by dogs, effectively.
3:53 - 4:04
And so this cat is not responding to any of my. Uh, anything I'm saying in the night, the cat was just like, meow, meow, meow, meow.
4:04 - 4:14
So I was like, cat's in trouble, must check. And, uh, I went down to the cat was just happily licking its leg, just making nice sounds.
4:14 - 4:23
So this is a language I do not speak and who knows how the cat's going to react to its first episode of what did you do yesterday?
4:23 - 4:33
Well, that does add a certain free sun, doesn't it, a certain level of jeopardy to what people genuinely generally feel is a sort of low jeopardy pod.
4:33 - 4:40
And now we've added this into the mix. Jasmine writes, 27 years old from Bourne, Lincolnshire.
4:40 - 4:48
This is on the increasing importance of the podcast. As we have established, we didn't quite realize quite how important we would become.
4:48 - 4:58
Oh my goodness. But it is, you know, it is starting to appear that we are in some way, you know, last week, of course, I was added to Samuel Pepys, for example, as great chroniclers of our time.
4:59 - 5:08
To Max and David, after listening to the most recent episodes of What Did You Do Yesterday, number 24, A Day By Any Other Name, you have now answered one of my lifelong questions.
5:08 - 5:15
At school, I was taught about the Stone Age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, and Ice Age, but I could not work out what age we would all be part of.
5:15 - 5:22
Now, thanks to you and your fabulous wisdom, I know we shall be known as the Beepy Beepy Age.
5:22 - 5:29
Not only does this refer to cars and their parking assistance, but to everything else in our life.
5:29 - 5:33
It now incessantly beeps at you from the microwave to the washing machine. Everything in our life seems to beep.
5:33 - 5:40
So I think that this is the perfect name for our generation. Thank you for answering one of the most important questions of our generation.
5:40 - 5:48
I'm sure you will receive some kind of award or honorary doctorate for doing so, and I cannot wait to watch the ceremony where you're acknowledged for your services.
5:48 - 5:56
On a final note, thank you for keeping me company through my final year of veterinary studies and exams, and I look forward to continue to listen as I start work.
5:56 - 6:03
Who knows, I might be able to convince the rest of the team that, this podcast would be the perfect sound to have playing whilst doing surgery, says Jasmine.
6:03 - 6:08
Or I presume, you know, while putting down a dog. That's the sort of message we get.
6:08 - 6:19
I was very sad about Rover, but then I listened to Midweek Mayhem about David, you know, lowering his balls into a bath and everything felt fine with the water.
6:19 - 6:29
Thank you, Jasmine. It's important. We're making, it's groundbreaking, David. As I slid my arm inside the cow's rectum, Max was talking about his foot.
6:29 - 6:40
It was a football match and it really made me feel happy. On the football match, they were, the team were excited to hear, you know, the, well, they all knew I got booked. They were there.
6:40 - 6:45
But the Harry, the guy who sent the email, also took a video of me being booked.
6:45 - 6:53
He sent it to us on Twitter, didn't he? Yeah, you've been absolutely down there.
6:53 - 6:59
It's lucky that you came clean and you didn't try, because the video arrived a week after.
6:59 - 7:14
The email had, if you tried to paint it in some other light. Also, just to say that the picture one has of a football match one is playing in is the, you know, objective truth to you.
7:14 - 7:25
And then you see it shot from the side on a camera phone. Hang on, you've only got five seconds of footage of no football being played.
7:25 - 7:40
I'm jogging away smiling as a referee box me. But it is funny when you're on the sidelines and you're watching your, what this happened this weekend, I was on the bench to begin the game and I was like, God, this is so rubbish.
7:40 - 7:44
These guys, we're useless. This is right. And I came on, I was like, Oh, actually, this is, they're quite good.
7:44 - 7:48
This is harder than I was. And I, you know, it just doesn't matter on the sidelines.
7:48 - 7:52
It looks so easy. And then when you get there, you realize you've got no lungs and no knees and no ankles.
7:52 - 8:05
Anyway, Tim Key was a popular episode. Thank you, Tim, for doing it. Sean says, Image of Maitlis turning up in Vicky Park with a four pack of Hoffmeister, 10 B&H and a Kit Kat for the dog will stay with me.
8:05 - 8:13
Dude, I think you put forward the idea that Maitlis was a faxie. Yeah, faxie drinker.
8:13 - 8:21
And faxie to people from overseas is, I wonder where it's from. To Danish listeners, we don't really know it.
8:21 - 8:27
The one liter can is the only one that I've ever known of it, which is too big.
8:27 - 8:37
Yeah, it's too big. That whole lower two thirds has gone flat and warm. That's why it's incredible that Maitlis shotguns it.
8:37 - 8:47
Maitlis gets a Bic pen, rams it in the side, holds it over her mouth and then opens the lid as Sopal and Key shout chug, chug, chug.
8:47 - 8:55
I reckon I could get Maitlis for this. For this? Do you want Maitlis? Yeah, I think Maitlis would be, I think you need to sound more positive about it.
8:55 - 9:00
If she hears this, if she's a listener, I'm not sure. I'm not sure she's not going to be buzzing to come on.
9:00 - 9:06
That very much sounded like a, no, I don't think so to me. It'd be a whole new realm.
9:06 - 9:13
You know, we wouldn't be enjoying the dilemma of, you know, what clothes the person is going to wear, et cetera.
9:13 - 9:22
It's Maitlis. She's up at half five. She probably does a Pilates class. She's speaking to Boris Yeltsin at quarter past eight.
9:22 - 9:27
You know, this is Maitlis. On we go. But I think she might surprise us.
9:27 - 9:32
Maitlis might surprise us. I don't know. More Tim Key feedback from Adam. Hi, lads.
9:32 - 9:44
Poor Dion Dublin. In the Tim Key episode, Max mentions Barrymore, both Gary Stevens, Trevor Stevens, Bill Wurmanick, Tony Mayo, Nigel Havers, and a number of BBC radio commentators.
9:44 - 9:48
And yet David feels the need to let the audience know who Dion Dublin is.
9:48 - 10:01
Please explain who these people are who know all of the above, but have no knowledge of Dion and his magnetic far post, headers, or his extensive knowledge of terrace housing and Gloucester.
10:01 - 10:12
Regards, Adam. Nigel Havers, he was... He was Dr. Latimer. Was it All Creatures Great and Small?
10:12 - 10:21
No, no, no. It was a doctor's practice, and he was Dr. Latimer, and his dad was also Dr. Latimer, but I couldn't tell you what the show was called.
10:21 - 10:28
Ever Decreasing Circles? No, that was Briars, I think. Oh, that was Briars. Yeah, because Havers goes to Briars there.
10:28 - 10:42
But to listeners who don't know, they're sort of pro... Hugh Grant is like a son of that vibe of frightfully English, kind of, well, I don't think that's appropriate, kind of.
10:42 - 10:51
Havers wrote the book for that vibe, is what I would say. I did try and book Hugh Grant for this show, because we went out for dinner once, and I've been in a taxi with him.
10:51 - 10:56
So through a friend of a friend, I said, would Hugh like to come on?
10:56 - 11:02
And she has been ghosted by her friend, who knows. Who knows Hugh Grant. So we haven't got, I'll go again now we're popular.
11:02 - 11:08
Because I think Hugh's day would be good. I think he'd lean in with Grant to this.
11:08 - 11:13
Yeah, I just think he's too busy. I don't think he's busy at all sometimes.
11:13 - 11:19
I reckon he'd have a day a bit like Nish. He'd just lie, he'd just say, I didn't do anything at all.
11:19 - 11:24
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. That's all he'd do. What have we got together?
11:24 - 11:28
Hugh Grant and Emily Malus. The first time we get two people on to compare their days.
11:28 - 11:35
What if they're the same? And then I opened a can of Faxi and downed it on Clapham Common.
11:35 - 11:42
On life synchronicity and the Tim Key episode, Kay says, Dear David and Max, thanks for the great interview with Tim Key.
11:42 - 11:50
I thought you might like to hear about my incident of podcast serendipity. It was Father's Day here and my older kids were with their dad, so I had a rare day to myself.
11:50 - 11:55
I slept in late, listened to your podcast, boiled four eggs for breakfast and beyond, ate two.
11:55 - 12:01
Wow. So boiled four, ate two. Yeah. Baked a cake, a Victoria sponge, and took myself out on a trip.
12:01 - 12:05
What an idyllic day. It's an English day. Yeah, it is. It's a Hugh Grant movie day, isn't it?
12:05 - 12:11
Four boiled eggs and a Victoria sponge. Made some real tennis and went to Hampton Court.
12:11 - 12:21
I caught a number 46 bus to the Everyman Cinema in Hampstead and watched The Ballad of Wallace Island, followed by Q&A, which was mentioned in Tim Key's yesterday.
12:21 - 12:29
The film was wonderful, as was the Q&A. Tom Basden had just come back from a day on the heath and Tim Key had been watching hockey but forgot his sunblock.
12:29 - 12:33
The questions were quite wide-ranging. I think some of the audience might have been a bit drunk at this point.
12:33 - 12:42
One woman interrupted the onstage part of the interview to say sorry, but she had to go now because she and her husband were really tired after watching Little League football all day.
12:42 - 12:49
One lady objected to Tom Basden's sunglasses in the film, and another said she didn't believe someone could win the lottery twice.
12:49 - 12:54
Tim Key agreed it was pretty unusual, but Tom Basden said it has actually happened.
12:54 - 12:58
Thank you so much for the wonderful podcast. I hope you really enjoyed it. Really do it for life.
12:58 - 13:16
Best wishes, Kay. Thanks, Kay. A fascinating thing to do. I mean, we have gone deep on the Ballad of Wallace Island, but I went even deeper because the original short that inspired it is on YouTube, where none of them are quite old
13:16 - 13:27
enough to play the characters that they are playing in it. They're all just 25-year-old handsome boys, you know?
13:27 - 13:38
Life experience doesn't necessarily come from them. It's not exuded the way it is in the feature film, but it's still a lovely short if you're looking for something to look at.
13:38 - 13:45
Although we're not going to release, because we don't want to do too much on it, the Basden episode we're going to put out in 10 years' time.
13:45 - 13:54
Now, this was an iTunes review from Peck771. Meh. Three stars. Yeah. Harmless enough fluff.
13:54 - 14:01
Yeah. Harmless enough fluff. Fluff. Seems to have taken a turn for the lavatorial, which is always a bad sign.
14:01 - 14:10
Hope it picks up again. So we have made a conscious decision to only read one turd-based email per episode of Midweek Mayhem, haven't we?
14:10 - 14:19
Yes. It seems like the podcast was becoming their receptacle for people's turd-based anecdotes. We don't want to be known for that.
14:19 - 14:26
No. Although they're quite funny. Yeah, they are. This is from Another Jasmine. What does it say about this podcast that we have more than one?
14:26 - 14:31
Jasmine, listen. This Jasmine is in Brighton. And this is right in our wheelhouse, isn't it?
14:31 - 14:42
Dear DOD, Generic Man 3 and Mars Buck. I love the pod and was bereft when I caught up entirely, having discovered it a few weeks ago and binged it all too fast.
14:42 - 14:48
It's the thing I listen to when I'm doing absolutely everything. Washing up, cooking, going for a walk, going around Tesco, having a bath, driving about.
14:48 - 14:54
You're with me for all of it. The only answer to fill the void was to listen to them all again, obviously.
14:54 - 14:58
What? Wow. This is when I caught. Something that I missed on my first binge.
14:58 - 15:07
On What Did You Do Yesterday? Midweek Mayhem, episode 19, at around 17 minutes and 30 seconds. Oh, yeah.
15:07 - 15:19
Yeah, you know that. Yeah, we know that. DOD talks about having the norovirus. Then Max declares when he has it from both ends, he's sick in the bath and shits on the floor because he needs to be on all fours or he can't be sick.
15:19 - 15:25
DOD just moves on without any acknowledgement as if Max was merely talking about his stamp collection.
15:25 - 15:30
Is this what people mean when they, say Max has a boring vibe? He can say outrageous things and no one will notice.
15:30 - 15:37
I didn't notice the first time either, despite finding him delightful. Imagine no one noticing you admitting to shitting on the floor and puking into the bath on purpose.
15:37 - 15:42
What a useless superpower. Max, at least be sick in the toilet on all fours while you shit on the floor.
15:42 - 15:47
Then you're only creating one problem rather than two. Love you all. Your laughs bring me joy.
15:47 - 15:52
Everything really is show business. Jasmine in Brighton, going for a latte and taking my kids to school probably.
15:52 - 16:06
Thank you very much, Jasmine. I don't know what I was supposed, like if you've said you're on all fours and you're double expelling, what's the follow-up to that?
16:06 - 16:10
Well, no, the point is she's making is you should have said, why not throw up in the toilet?
16:10 - 16:18
It's a very good point. It's happened to me twice and twice. I've ignored the really obvious idea of at least getting one thing in the toilet.
16:18 - 16:24
You've got two chances. I mean, the ideal is sit on the toilet, hold a bucket, but it just doesn't work for me.
16:24 - 16:31
Yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Now we have an issue here, David. Oh no, not another one of these, Max.
16:31 - 16:37
Yeah. Last week, you remember I had the why do you keep telling me off incident from the cafe?
16:37 - 16:44
Yeah. I named the cafe, right? Oh shit. I thought that might've been a mistake.
16:44 - 16:54
John, who is a listener in Melbourne, he's done a one-star review for this place saying told off Max Rushden for drinking coffee and eating a sandwich.
16:54 - 16:59
And for that, you earn one star. Oh shit. That's John's, but one star. So I felt terrible.
16:59 - 17:03
So now today I've had to give this place a five-star review just to make it up.
17:03 - 17:07
And on my Google reviews, it has my full name. I've only ever done about six.
17:07 - 17:18
I've written, this is, I've given them five out of five for food, five out of five for atmosphere and four out of five for service.
17:18 - 17:26
And I've said three great coffees, one great sandwich, two interesting interactions about cafe etiquette would go again.
17:26 - 17:44
You have made a mess out of the star rating system if being told twice to not stay there all day as you eat a $16 sandwich still gets you four stars.
17:44 - 17:55
Like what would three stars possibly be? Yeah, but what this was, you know, when, I don't know, Ian Poulter or someone tweets, British Airways, you've lost my luggage again, you assholes.
17:55 - 17:58
And I think I never want to be that. And that's exactly what I was.
17:58 - 18:05
I was like, I was using my credible power to make John give this cafe a one-star review.
18:05 - 18:13
Now I feel like I need to keep going back. And like every time I go, I'll give them five stars because now they've got a one-star and a five-star.
18:13 - 18:21
So that's like two, three-star ratings. You don't want that. So I need to keep going and keep getting it up to get it up to a four because, you know,
18:21 - 18:31
the guy's running a business. I don't want to be. I get it. But then it does raise the question, are we talking about how much we love Lululemon underpants?
18:31 - 18:37
Because in a previous episode that we don't even remember, we were incredibly rude about Lululemon underpants.
18:37 - 18:45
So we're trying to build the star rating back up again. No, we just were surprised that Lululemon did underpants for men.
18:45 - 18:56
But, you know, Guy Montgomery, episode to be released, he showed us the way. And I keep sending him pictures of, you know, updating him, you know, the tracking order thing.
18:56 - 19:01
Don't know the guy. He seems quite receptive to this sort of stuff, David. I'm enjoying it.
19:01 - 19:09
Lizenshire says, sitting on the tarmac, delayed flight to Faro. A coffee anecdote is the only thing that will keep me sane.
19:09 - 19:15
Thank you. And then, update, I was on the tarmac for two hours listening to this while there was a medical emergency.
19:15 - 19:20
When we landed, Rio Ferdinand was taking a picture with the six paramedics who saved the guy.
19:20 - 19:28
Crossover between football and what did you do yesterday? Yeah. When were we – what was the crossover we were trying to do with Rio Ferdinand?
19:28 - 19:37
I can't remember now. Oh, Joe Wilkinson was listening to Rio's podcast. That's right. And then we were wondering if Rio would listen to Joe Wilkinson's podcast.
19:37 - 19:51
That's exactly right. As yet, we don't know. And if only Lizenshire had the same attitude to this podcast as Jasmine, who's listened through twice and has noted every moment, he would have gone up to Rio Ferdinand and said,
19:51 - 19:55
do you listen to Chatterbix? Because from my record – My records I need to know.
19:55 - 20:01
And he didn't do that. This is from Joanne. Dear David and Max, David, I'm so sorry.
20:01 - 20:11
I had a bathroom emergency at 8.20 p.m. on the 18th of June, 2025. And in my haste to get to the loo, I mowed you and your tiny keyboard over on the stairs of Ancio.
20:11 - 20:25
Love you. That's beautiful. It's called Ancia here in Irish, which is the bar that is very close to where I live in Dublin, where I do all my – I do all my try-out shows.
20:25 - 20:35
Ah, okay. And I do think I remember this because the stairs are too narrow for two people to go up, and I was heading up, and a lady barreled into me.
20:35 - 20:42
Did she knock you over? She obviously had somewhere to get to, and that's absolutely fine.
20:42 - 20:51
But, yeah, that's – She had a bathroom emergency at 8.20. So was this after – was it 8.19 that she barreled past you?
20:51 - 21:01
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Time-wise, wow. Okay, thank you, Joanne. Thank you, Joanne. It's starting to come together, this show.
21:01 - 21:08
The show. That's all I'll say, which is about time now because for a few weeks we've been – not wilderness.
21:08 - 21:15
There's good gear in there. But now for the first time, it's starting to click together a little bit.
21:15 - 21:24
The offer is here that if you want to meet me in the Offizi underneath the birth of Venus, I'll take a look at – I'll take a – I'll have a listen.
21:24 - 21:32
I'll take a look. I'll bring some notes, you know. I'll add some improv. Jason Halifax from West Yorkshire.
21:32 - 21:36
Oh, no, I think it's probably Jason from Halifax, West Yorkshire. But he may be Jason Halifax from West Yorkshire.
21:36 - 21:46
What's the amazing – it was my favorite ever blooper from those Christmas blooper shows was from Bullseye in the 80s.
21:46 - 21:53
I think it's Jim Bowen says, Where was JFK murdered? In Texas. And he stopped.
21:53 - 22:02
So he goes, Oh, no, that's the answer. You just did it, Jim Bowen. Hi, listen to the Gary Lineker episode laying in bed with my wife.
22:02 - 22:07
I had the volume up on the phone. She must have been listening in when she made the comment, Why are you listening to this?
22:07 - 22:17
It's boring. I found this comment hard to defend. Even though I was enjoying it myself.
22:17 - 22:22
She then followed this up with, Are they seriously asking what shops he goes into?
22:22 - 22:29
Again. Hard to defend. I don't think I'll try to convert her. It is mundane stuff, but I find it amusing.
22:29 - 22:40
Keep up the good work. Yeah, it does. If you just came to it, certain parts of some episodes would be like, you know, when you lose your keys and your mom says,
22:40 - 22:46
Try and think back everything you did. I mean, that is essentially what our podcast is.
22:46 - 22:59
It's just, and then I got asparagus. Yes, yes. I got British asparagus then. I was on the phone to Guardian cartoonist David Squires the other day, and he is a big fan of the podcast,
22:59 - 23:07
but he was saying he was walking around the town he lives in and was listening to the James Buckley episode just as a friend bumped into him.
23:07 - 23:19
And he was like, Oh, what are you listening to? And at that moment, James Buckley just described how he wipes his backside with anisole on a wet wipe and David Squires was just too ashamed and said, Oh, just football.
23:19 - 23:28
I'm not. Now, I don't know, David, have you heard the jingle for They're Just Normal Coaches?
23:28 - 23:35
It's really strong, isn't it? It's nicely odd. Do you think, is it your voice?
23:35 - 23:40
No, I don't know whose voice it is. I don't know whose voice it is.
23:40 - 23:51
AI, generic man three voice. Could be, yeah. I don't think it's Chesney Hawks. I don't think that's what he sounds like before they fiddle about in post with his voice.
23:51 - 23:56
I don't think he'd have made it as a song. Anyway, it's time for They're Just Normal Countries.
23:56 - 24:09
I am the one and only. What country could I be? I am the one and only.
24:09 - 24:20
Where in the world could our listeners be? Thank you, Chesney. Okay, so here we go.
24:20 - 24:31
Previous guesses. Madagascar, David. Namibia, Max. Costa Rica, Katie. Uganda, Ben. North Korea, Dave. And that's it, and that's it.
24:31 - 24:39
This is from Ali, who says, Dear Max, David, and producer Mars Bar, I have a submission for a name of the new Curdle Style game.
24:39 - 24:46
My 14-year-old son, Josh, came up with this one. What did Tuvalu do yesterday? Oh, no, what did Tuvalu yesterday?
24:46 - 24:52
Either way. In case it's helpful, this is one of those, David. Tuvalu is in the South Pacific.
24:52 - 24:57
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Independent island nation within the British Commonwealth. Tuvalu isn't my guess.
24:57 - 25:03
Imagine if Tuvalu was right and it wasn't your guess. As I think it might be one of the zero listens countries.
25:03 - 25:13
My guess is Guyana. Love the pod so much. Thanks, Ali. And this is exciting because producer Mars Bar is not here because he does not care about this podcast.
25:13 - 25:30
Don't say that. Like Jasmine 2, who's listened to everything twice. The only person that beats her is Mars Bar, who's had to listen to everything so many times to take out all the times we go.
25:30 - 25:38
And also we have established that he got engaged at a specific time so he could work out when.
25:38 - 25:46
So your episode would land on Boxing Day. So we would get Curzle 2025, 26. So yeah, maybe he does care.
25:46 - 25:55
Imagine all the time he has to spend trying to edit out your little Samuel Peeps coming from, your other end.
25:55 - 26:00
That is true. So anyway, assistant producer Will is here. What did you do yesterday?
26:00 - 26:11
What time did you wake up? So, Will, your one job is this. Is Guyana a one-listen country?
26:11 - 26:21
So there we go. What did you do yesterday, pod, at gmail.com? We haven't got any of them yet.
26:21 - 26:24
So I'm enjoying the game. It's Winner Stays On. That's the idea of this one.
26:24 - 26:29
So if you do get it right, you have to get six in a row to win the star prize.
26:29 - 26:37
What's the star prize? I'm not even, oh, a green Ford Fiesta filled with all of our old underwear.
26:37 - 26:41
We'll drive it to wherever you are around the world. We will, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:41 - 26:45
This has gone on so long. What a road trip that would be. Imagine that.
26:45 - 26:50
Imagine if the winner is in Paraguay and we have to meet and get in this Fiesta full of our undies.
26:50 - 26:55
We could pitch that to Dave. We should get Osman. Back on and say, we've got an idea, Richard.
26:55 - 27:02
Shall we go for it? This has been going on so long with no one getting a single one of them right.
27:02 - 27:07
I don't even know if I could bejuring anymore. You think you've lost your bejuring?
27:07 - 27:18
I just... It's like an advert. Yes, a Viagra advert. Have you lost... Roy Walker should do this advert.
27:18 - 27:25
Have you lost your bejuring? It's my day. It's my day. Max Rushden. David O'Doherty.
27:25 - 27:32
What did you do yesterday? What time did you wake up at yesterday? It's a great question.
27:32 - 27:43
6.15am is a pretty good one. Okay. Puts you mid-table. I'm not saying it's the greatest night we'd had before that, but 6.15 is the official wake time.
27:43 - 27:47
Jamie's in the bed. I'm in the bed. Willie's in the bed. Ian's in the bed.
27:47 - 27:51
We're all in. Ian's woken up and he's come in and that's when the day begins.
27:51 - 27:56
He likes to give Willie a hug and then he likes to sort of jump around, tells me to go away.
27:56 - 28:05
He's interested in it being dark and not light. He has a book where it's dark, but the sun is, you know, just going down.
28:05 - 28:13
So then I have a discussion. The first discussion I have, a bit like sort of Cariad Lloyd with her son, you know, what is fire made of?
28:13 - 28:21
I'm trying to explain, you know, the way the sun goes up and down. But I basically say the sun is constantly moving, which I know isn't true, is it?
28:21 - 28:26
We're spinning. I want to get into axis. This, you know, the earth spins on its axis.
28:26 - 28:38
Oh, it's tough. Yeah, one day he's going to read the works of Galileo and he's going to come back to you and he's going to be, you've sold me an absolute pub here with this moving sun bullshit.
28:38 - 28:44
Yeah, so I do the moving sun. He wants to play cars. So we get out of bed and we play.
28:44 - 28:48
He's got loads of cars out, so that's fine. I cut him up some apple.
28:48 - 28:58
He loves apples. Yeah, sure. And I make him, yes, yes. Does he get a deprise for not waking you pre-6 a.m.?
28:58 - 29:04
Here's the interesting thing. You put out the incentive deprise and then it just sort of dissipates.
29:04 - 29:10
And so he doesn't even, now the only time he also deprives is if he's weeding the potty and we've given up on deprives for that.
29:10 - 29:16
He's yet to do a number two in the potty. So, you know, there's a big deprise for that, but he hasn't happened yet.
29:16 - 29:23
I make him a porridge. He rejects it. Oh, dear. Okay, so there's a bit of playing.
29:23 - 29:29
I think he's probably watching Just In Time on the TV. With Justin Morehouse. With Justin Morehouse, yeah.
29:29 - 29:36
It's all the Justins. And do a bit of playing. 7.15, Willie needs a nap walk.
29:36 - 29:45
Great. So I'm going to do that. And it's hat, gloves, and scarf. You know, roll a six, cut up a Mars bar with a knife and fork temperature.
29:45 - 29:50
You know, it is really chilly out there. And so I've got my hat, my gloves, and my scarf.
29:50 - 30:00
The earmuffs. He's got... Shoes. Yeah, he's got a little yellow hat on, which is quite a sweet little beanie.
30:00 - 30:06
Yeah. And he's in the pram. And I'm listening to a preview of the women's Euros.
30:06 - 30:10
Let's get across that. So that's good. Oh, great. Now, on the walk, I'm early.
30:10 - 30:14
And given the plans that are coming up, I'm thinking I'm going to get a coffee on this walk.
30:14 - 30:19
It's not normal, but I go, I get a takeaway three-quarter strong flat white, and it's good.
30:19 - 30:27
Oh, great. Yeah, really good. But as I'm trying to pay, Charlie Baker, comedian, radio co-host, tries to ring me.
30:27 - 30:36
And so he's ringing me, and my phone's not working on the tappy tap. You know, when you're a middle-aged man, you just start looking to these young people a bit like a boomer, don't you?
30:36 - 30:41
I think that's the phrase, what Jamie calls me a lot of the time. So I can't pay, and the phone's ringing.
30:41 - 30:44
I'm trying to cancel the phone, and I just tappy tap, and it won't tap.
30:44 - 30:48
And then it's like double click, and I don't double click it in time, and then it all goes off.
30:48 - 30:58
And so that's, you know, I mean, that's a bit of it. It doesn't take long, but I'm definitely aware of my, you know, surrounded by, you know, the young hipsters who are serving me.
30:58 - 31:02
Yeah, they are. So that's an issue, but that's okay. They all pay with crypto.
31:02 - 31:10
Yeah, oh yeah, with their eyes. Yeah. Okay, so I walk, I talk to Charlie about life, which is nice.
31:10 - 31:17
It's always nice to have a phone call, isn't it? It's interesting, because I'd rung him, and he just thought it was a butt dial, because now we just presume anyone calling is a butt dial.
31:17 - 31:23
Right, yeah. No one ever answers the phone. But I was like, this is not a butt dial, because it's too cold to type when I'm walking the prom.
31:23 - 31:26
Yeah, so if you want to talk to me, you've got to talk to me.
31:26 - 31:33
This is like Shackleton. It is like Shackleton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On his famous nap walk around the Endurance.
31:33 - 31:42
Around Melbourne's inner north. When he wakes up after 10 minutes, this is a disappointment. We needed more than that.
31:42 - 31:48
His eyes are peering through what is called the snooze shade, which is kind of like a blanket over him.
31:48 - 31:51
It's got a little zip. You can just see his eyes. He's freezing cold, yeah.
31:51 - 31:56
He's bright blue. And he's naked. And I don't know why. Should have thought about that.
31:56 - 32:02
So anyway, we get home about 8.15. So I've tried to get it down for an hour, basically.
32:02 - 32:08
And he just won't. There's a bit of trains, a bit of train work there with Ian when we get back.
32:08 - 32:15
A bit of cars. We spend a bit of time looking up various characters from the movie Cars.
32:15 - 32:22
He's got some toys. So you're Lightning McQueen's and you're Mater's and so on and so forth.
32:22 - 32:27
Now. I've got a work laptop that TalkSport accidentally gave me and I took to Australia.
32:27 - 32:35
I've just said that because the head of TalkSport likes this podcast. But Ian thinks it's his.
32:35 - 32:40
He's a bit young, but he says, can we look at my laptop? And I sort of think, I just don't know if a three-year-old.
32:40 - 32:44
You know when you just don't want to out in a cafe him to say, let's just get my laptop.
32:44 - 32:57
He's three. To have a MacBook Air at three seems too much. Yeah, but he's got his Excel spreadsheets with the, all his favorite various shows on it, who's been nice to him, et cetera.
32:57 - 33:05
Sophie arrives. We love Sophie. Sophie's looking after Ian for three hours. Jamie and I have got a big plan.
33:05 - 33:09
We're going to walk to a cafe. Willie's going to fall asleep. We've got a lot of admin to do.
33:09 - 33:12
We're coming to London in a couple of months. Got work to do on the house.
33:12 - 33:17
We've got a shitload of stuff in storage in London. We've got to book things for London, blah, blah, blah.
33:17 - 33:22
We're excited about this meeting. We're going to get a lot done. Jamie's going to take Willie in the carrier.
33:22 - 33:26
We're going to push the press. He's going to fall asleep in the carrier. It's going to be great.
33:26 - 33:31
We walk to the cafe. What's the carrier? Like a Baby Bjorn type of? Like a Baby Bjorn, exactly.
33:31 - 33:38
I think it may even be a Baby Bjorn. I'd have to check. But when I wear it, he's sort of quite low on my hips.
33:38 - 33:44
And if he's facing me, he hates it. But he doesn't mind facing out. But if you drop something, you have to squat down.
33:44 - 33:51
It's quite – it's just really tough on the knees. And then sometimes I think I just should have had these kids at 28, and now I'd be out of the woods.
33:51 - 33:57
I wouldn't have them. If I'd have been a carrier, he'd be 18. So anyway, he doesn't fall asleep.
33:57 - 34:00
But Jamie's like, I can rock him to sleep in the cafe. We get into the cafe.
34:00 - 34:04
We order some coffees. He is not going to sleep. We cancel the coffees. We leave the cafe.
34:04 - 34:15
We decide to walk to another cafe. I know. We haven't thought it through. And halfway to that cafe, we're just on our cycle path, and Jamie's like, I'm just going to sit on the floor,
34:15 - 34:21
on the concrete, the cold concrete, and feed him. And so we just stood there feeding the baby and thinking.
34:21 - 34:26
I'm just thinking. And I think I say, we haven't thought this through. One of us could at least have breakfast.
34:26 - 34:34
Jamie hasn't had breakfast, and it's now half past nine, and Jamie needs breakfast. A Jamie without breakfast is not as good as a Jamie with breakfast.
34:34 - 34:39
I think that's fair to say. I mean, that's totally put Jamie just sitting on the cement.
34:39 - 34:45
Yeah, bleak. It's bleak. Feeding a baby, and you being like, I should have had you when I was 18.
34:45 - 34:50
I didn't say that a bit out loud. I was just thinking about my knees.
34:50 - 34:55
I did say there's a bus shelter over there. She's fine. She's in the zone.
34:55 - 35:05
Oh, real touch of luxury there. Yeah, the warm metal seats of the 365 bus shelter to Mooney Ponds.
35:05 - 35:11
Now, is the day heating up, though? I mean, it strikes me that it's cold mornings.
35:11 - 35:17
Slowly but surely, but it's not like, isn't it nice just sitting on the concrete?
35:17 - 35:24
That's not the vibe. We've got something to do, but anyway. Jamie? Jamie masterfully rocks him.
35:24 - 35:31
He goes down. We're pushing the pram. He's asleep. We decide to go to a cafe that we don't often go to, but we see around.
35:31 - 35:40
We think, oh, we'll give that a go. We sit outside. I get a long black, and I get a blat, bacon, lettuce, avocado, and tomato with a sriracha mayonnaise.
35:40 - 35:47
Oh, yeah. Jamie gets a strong three-quarter flat white. Good. And she gets a kind of chickpea.
35:47 - 35:53
It's kind of like a shakshuka, I would say. And she wanted, for the record, sorry.
35:53 - 35:56
She wanted, for the record, for me to say that she got the better brunch.
35:56 - 36:04
She just wants people to know that. You run all this by her first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
36:04 - 36:12
The strong three-quarter flat white thing, that came from her. That's what I've just learned for the first time.
36:12 - 36:16
Yeah, I think so. When we first met, I was a large cappuccino man back in 2013.
36:16 - 36:25
That's generic man three. In Old Street. Yeah, generic man three. Large cap. That was me in Old Street in 2013.
36:25 - 36:30
And slowly but surely, she's increased the coffee and she's reduced the milk. I owe her that.
36:30 - 36:37
And I would never go back. The thought of a large cappuccino makes me feel sick to my stomach, let me tell you.
36:37 - 36:44
Yeah. In Italy, you know, it's just a morning thing and you have a tiny one.
36:44 - 36:55
And somehow we, the people not in Italy, have taken that to, could I have a waste paper basket full of, of chocolatey milk with some coffee in it, please?
36:55 - 37:04
Now, we're sitting down. There has been some bickering. It's low level. Yeah. But there's been some, because we're, you know, we're both a bit tired.
37:04 - 37:10
It's mainly surrounding a weekend away that I have booked with my friends in September.
37:10 - 37:18
Oh, shit. This is a bone of contention because she, at the moment, can't go away for a weekend because she's breastfeeding a small baby.
37:18 - 37:23
And there is an unfairness to that. And I see that completely. Oh, yeah. I've lived.
37:23 - 37:28
I live in Australia. I get homesick. I miss my friends. She sees that. So there is a.
37:28 - 37:36
Stop doing this. Stop flying. It's called flying kites in political where you get like a backbencher to go on the radio.
37:36 - 37:45
Just put it out there. I don't want your agreement. I don't need it. This is just like, these are the two, these are the two positions that don't quite meet.
37:45 - 37:54
But, you know, we're, you know, we're working it out. The issue is the night before at 3 a.m. when, you know, everyone was up and it was a bit of a traumatic moment.
37:54 - 37:57
And she was, she said, look, this is going to be really hard that weekend.
37:57 - 37:59
And I was like, it's three in the morning. This is not the time to discuss it.
37:59 - 38:07
And I should have said, oh, yes, but it was three in the morning. You know, 3 a.m. is no time to discuss anything.
38:07 - 38:15
I think, once again, I'm not seeking your approval or your rejection. I don't want you to take sides because you're going to take her sides because you are a suck.
38:15 - 38:22
Anyway, the issue we have is our table is right by where people are ordering the takeaways.
38:23 - 38:32
So we have to keep stopping because people keep coming up, you know. And so you want to look like you're having a lovely time and then you can't get into the conversation.
38:32 - 38:41
So it never really gets going. But we are both firmly of the agreement that there's nothing greater than seeing a couple arguing in a cafe.
38:41 - 38:52
So you owe it to everyone else to occasionally be those people. Because when it's happening next to you, you are just both so excited to listen, right?
38:53 - 38:58
So we understand that. And so we are giving back to society. I mean, it's okay.
38:58 - 39:06
The other intriguing one is a couple in their probably 50s who just say nothing for an entire meal.
39:06 - 39:12
Really good. And maybe they're both looking at their phones and at the end they just go then.
39:12 - 39:18
Actually, no, an entire family, an entire family all on screens is a really good one, isn't it?
39:18 - 39:24
An entire family. You just can't not, you end up watching one of the screens because you're like, this is mesmerizing.
39:24 - 39:34
I need to step in there with this. I suspect the bone of contention here may be what you and the lads are doing on this weekend.
39:34 - 39:42
Is it something really frivolous? I mean, it's frivolous, but it's not like she's worried that the strippers are coming.
39:42 - 39:50
You know, we're going to play some table tennis. No, not at all. But if you were going to a pints of bitter, a literary weekend or something like that.
39:50 - 39:56
No, that's not the point. The point is. The point is I am away for my own enjoyment.
39:56 - 40:00
I think if I was going to a literary festival, she wouldn't. She wouldn't be like, oh, that's fine.
40:00 - 40:06
You know, you're expanding the absolute, you know, the cemetery of culture that's your mind.
40:06 - 40:13
I don't think that would affect it. This would be a great time to check out our sister podcast, Jamie and Helen Copters.
40:13 - 40:22
What did they do yesterday? Where they stingingly critique what we'd be doing. It's okay.
40:22 - 40:32
We're very much in love. And so anyway, we get down to business. I book a meningitis jab for Willie.
40:32 - 40:42
I book mole checks for me and Jamie. It's good stuff, this, isn't it? You know, this has worming chocolate.
40:42 - 40:48
But, you know, you might as well be alive to enjoy life. So, like, we've got to do these things.
40:48 - 40:57
That's a good catchphrase. I'm writing that down. You might as well be alive to enjoy life, isn't it?
40:57 - 41:04
Enjoy life. Yeah. I think it's a really salient point. We've got a slight bike issue in London.
41:04 - 41:08
I've got a bike with one seat on the back. I'm not sure if I can get another seat.
41:08 - 41:14
And Willie will be six months old. Like, he's still a bit floppy. Do I want to get him on another bike seat?
41:14 - 41:19
Is that too many bike seats for central London? Or do we get a big cargo bike?
41:19 - 41:23
In which case, does any listener have a spare one that I can borrow for two months?
41:23 - 41:31
Ah, now I see why we listen to 10 minutes of drudgery. We walk home. We walk home.
41:31 - 41:37
We look at the big houses. We talk about how much it would cost to knock our house down and rebuild it, which is $1.5 million.
41:37 - 41:46
We don't currently have $1.5 million. If any listeners have a spare $1.5 million. What do you think you would do, ideally?
41:46 - 41:51
A swimming pool in the basement? You know, and then a cinema below the swimming pool?
41:51 - 41:55
A pool is a... A pool is a disaster, because you have to maintain the pool.
41:55 - 42:00
Okay, yeah. It's a waste of your garden. No, we just need... Really, we just need...
42:00 - 42:05
We've got two boys. They will grow up. We need more than one toilet, David.
42:05 - 42:09
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's... So we might as well knock the whole house down.
42:09 - 42:12
I think it's the only... We decided it's the only thing we could possibly do.
42:12 - 42:20
Yeah. Knock it all down. I was leaning into more sort of oligarch-type stuff with underground garages, whereas what you meant was two toilets.
42:20 - 42:25
Yeah, I mean, two toilets. Yeah, yeah. I cut my hair. I have a haircut.
42:25 - 42:31
Oh, yeah. It looks... What do you think? I don't... Give us a little twirl there.
42:31 - 42:38
Yeah. What do you say? Do you just say, this, this again, this two months ago, please?
42:38 - 42:47
Here's the thing. Did it myself. What? Yeah. I sometimes just get the urge, because in COVID, you had to do it yourself.
42:47 - 42:52
And the first time you get the clippers, you're a bit nervous over your own head.
42:52 - 42:59
Now, just put on grade six, everywhere. Grade two on the sides. And I think I've probably missed a few bits.
42:59 - 43:06
No one's going to tell. It's not bad, is it? Did you get Mrs. Rushden to have a look at it then?
43:06 - 43:13
No, she didn't notice for about six hours. Even though she was in the kitchen and I was in the bathroom and they were next to each other and I was making it.
43:13 - 43:28
I was going... for like 10 minutes. But it's really quite satisfying. I vividly remember my first pandemic, self haircut because I did it outdoors because I just didn't want hair going anywhere.
43:28 - 43:33
But I did it with a beard trimmer on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm using a beard trimmer.
43:33 - 43:41
Looked good. Yeah, it did. It looked good. What I'm saying is, much like locksmiths, hairdressers are a total racket.
43:41 - 43:48
There's no need for them. Do it yourself. I'd do some hoovering, clean the toilet.
43:48 - 43:55
Hair everywhere. Ian and Sophie return. We discover that Jamie's book, Dog by the Baker, is in Steph's local library.
43:55 - 44:01
It's exciting. It's a friend of Jamie. I've half a slice of banana bread. It's time for Willie's big nap.
44:01 - 44:07
It's a two-hour one, hopefully, and Jamie's going to do it, so she goes into the pitch black bedroom.
44:07 - 44:11
So Ian and I have two hours. Great. I say, do you want to go swimming?
44:11 - 44:15
He says, no. So then we go through all the things you can do at home.
44:15 - 44:25
We do some Play-Doh. He's got a fire engine that you can sort of, if you twist, whirl it round and round and round, the Play-Doh comes out like a poo at the end.
44:25 - 44:33
Oh, yeah. Is he of an age where he would enjoy if you got a big bed sheet and turned the sofa into a sort of hut slash base?
44:33 - 44:38
Yeah, we're getting there. We're very much getting there. He likes going in the dark now, under the doona.
44:38 - 44:46
He likes that. And he likes hide-and-seek, sort of moving the cushions about. His hide-and-seek is quite interesting.
44:46 - 44:59
Yeah, that was an Australianism. My apologies. There's a few really curious ones, but in terms of bedding, when you go to what we would call the sheets department in Australia,
44:59 - 45:11
Manchester is just written there. Yes. Manchester is a term to describe sheets. Yeah, well, Jamie was telling me today when she moved over, and she's a teacher, and she was doing like supply teaching,
45:11 - 45:22
and she would say yes to nursery and yes to year one. And in between those two is reception, but she'd say no to reception for about three months because she presumed they were asking her to be the receptionist,
45:22 - 45:31
and she was like, I'd be really bad at that. And so they didn't understand why she was capable of teaching two-year-olds and four-year-olds, but not three-year-olds, and saying, I honestly wouldn't know where to start.
45:31 - 45:41
Hang on. There's a class called reception then? Yeah, in the UK, yeah. What? Oh my, I'm Jamie here and now.
45:41 - 45:50
The Aussie one that, there's two that blew my mind. One is the calling of road cones, which is hats.
45:50 - 46:00
Oh. Yeah, like, They do look like it. Yes, I know they do, but it's a silly word time.
46:00 - 46:07
Someone said we were playing football and there were some cones in the corner of the park from roadworks that weren't active anymore.
46:07 - 46:17
And someone was like, go steal the witch's hats from over there, which I just laughed at because I thought, what an adorable way to describe it.
46:17 - 46:29
And then everyone kept calling them witch's hats. That, and the other one is, I remember, I remember once being on stage in Melbourne talking about a strimmer and how good I was at gardening.
46:29 - 46:40
And people going, what the hell are you talking about? And someone described it with like a piece of fishing line that spools around at the bottom.
46:40 - 46:51
And they were like, that's not a strimmer, that's a whippersnipper. As if a strimmer is a fundamentally ludicrous name for a thing, but a whippersnipper isn't.
46:51 - 46:59
But then, what adds to it is there was an American in the crowd. And so I said, what's it called in America?
46:59 - 47:06
Is it a strimmer or a whippersnipper? And she said, it's a weed whacker. And they are all silly names.
47:06 - 47:15
Thank you. Okay, so we do some Play-Doh. Then we go outside and there's some blue goo in sort of a big tub.
47:15 - 47:21
So we play with the blue goo. Then I make an obstacle course that we both take on.
47:21 - 47:29
There's some little sort of raised hexagonal polystyrene things that we jump across and then we climb up a ramp.
47:29 - 47:34
We do that a bit. Then we get two pairs of scissors. Is the... I don't like where this is going.
47:34 - 47:39
Two pairs of scissors. And we decide to liven it up a bit. We make a pact.
47:39 - 47:48
Are you... Is it the game, which was my favorite game I used to play with my brother, which was the ground is lava.
47:48 - 47:53
We haven't gone that far yet. We just have an obstacle course. Putting things down.
47:53 - 47:59
Well, that shipwreck. Shipwreck is the same vibe, isn't it? Is it? What's the basis of that?
47:59 - 48:06
Well, there are shark-infested waters and you have to stay, you know, that's sort of more in a room on the sofa, you know, on the mantelpiece, that kind of stuff.
48:06 - 48:14
But no, I haven't really... I'm not sure he's really across lava yet. So I'll bring some in.
48:14 - 48:19
I'll get some. And I'll say, hold this. And now you know you don't want to stand on this.
48:19 - 48:25
You've already started to introduce the curvature of the earth. And the movement of the spheres to him.
48:25 - 48:31
So it's a hop, skip and a jump to magma. You're absolutely right. We get the scissors, we do some pruning.
48:31 - 48:36
He likes pruning. So we go and just... He has quite a sort of gung-ho attitude to it.
48:36 - 48:42
I would say he just likes to cut flowers and, you know, bits, bits of things.
48:42 - 48:45
So I'm trying to sort of steer him towards the things that would be good to be pruned.
48:45 - 48:49
But it's a good, it's like, it's good fun. You know, it's out in nature.
48:49 - 48:55
We then start pruning all the little things that are poking through. The fence, like next door's plants that are poking through the fence.
48:55 - 48:59
And then we go outside the front and we prune all the things that are sticking out of our fence.
48:59 - 49:04
Then he starts pruning things that are sticking out of other people's fences. And I'm like, I'm not sure we should be doing that.
49:04 - 49:12
Then we draw around some aeroplanes on paper with some felt-tip pens. That's sort of...
49:12 - 49:17
So that's... During this time, I have a cup of tea and two Weet-Bix with the flax seeds because I didn't have that for breakfast.
49:17 - 49:22
So I like to get my flax seeds in. Eat your sandwich. Eat a big, fancy sandwich.
49:23 - 49:26
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I have toasted peanut butter because I want something nice.
49:26 - 49:35
And one square of lint. Mint Intense. Good stuff. 2.15. It's been two hours. I swap with Jamie.
49:35 - 49:41
Willie's still asleep. So I sidle into the dark room. I slide my hands under Willie.
49:41 - 49:47
I sit down on the chair. Jamie goes into the sunlight. And I say, you know, I'll just see you when I see you.
49:47 - 49:52
And two minutes later, Willie wakes up. So I haven't done that brilliantly. So Willie...
49:52 - 49:59
Willie requires some physical contact for him to remain. Or movement. We can push him in the pram.
49:59 - 50:06
But at the moment, he can't just be left. At night time, he can. We're sort of working on these.
50:06 - 50:10
It's a sort of very much trial and error. If something works, you just repeat it the next day.
50:10 - 50:16
Because, you know, you're just trying to get through, David. It's a real bomb disposal vibe to that changeover.
50:16 - 50:21
Yeah, there is. I've clicked the yellow wire by mistake. And the whole room has exploded.
50:22 - 50:30
And Alan Rickman is laughing somewhere because he's got his way. So then we're all together.
50:30 - 50:35
We're all together. We're all up. Jamie is reading Ian a book called Hickory Dickory Dock.
50:35 - 50:41
But it's got a twist on the original. And it's got quite a nice scan to it.
50:41 - 50:45
It flows. And it's a bit singy. So I start reading it in a singy way.
50:45 - 50:50
And Ian really does not like that. And he bursts into tears because he does not want me singing.
50:52 - 51:01
So Jamie takes Ian to the park. And I take Willie for a walk because he needs another nap.
51:01 - 51:07
I mean, he's a bit tired. He's not 100%. I buy a bottle of wine. It just seems like the right thing to do.
51:07 - 51:15
Great. As you're pushing him along, you are just slugging from it. Swinging from a $17 bottle of Shiraz.
51:15 - 51:25
And so I walk home. I then read the Hickory Dickory Dock book in a very sort of monotone way to Ian.
51:25 - 51:31
And it's a kind of rapprochement. We bond over the correct reading of the book.
51:31 - 51:41
You've got to trust the text, I think, in these situations. You know, it'd be like to be or not to be.
51:41 - 51:46
You know, you're just like, this is good gear. I'm just going to read it pretty flat.
51:46 - 51:50
It's called Hickory Dickory Dash by someone called Tony Wilson, if you are looking for it.
51:50 - 51:58
It's good. It's good. I enjoy it. Tony Wilson, who set up the Hacienda Club and was the godfather of the Manchester music scene.
51:58 - 52:05
Totally, totally. And actually, you can get, the audio book is done by Bez from the Happy Mondays, which is a weird choice.
52:05 - 52:11
But he was, Bez once came on Talk Sport because someone said he's a massive Man United fan or something.
52:11 - 52:15
And me and Barry Glendenning, we weren't 100% sure. We were like, oh yeah, we'll talk to Bez.
52:15 - 52:19
You know, it's like, you know, so you just go, okay, a tricky trip for Manchester United.
52:19 - 52:26
And then to Goodison, let's talk to, Bez from the Happy Mondays, big, big Manchester United fan.
52:26 - 52:30
Bez, how are you? And then he just did 10 minutes on how bad fracking was.
52:30 - 52:36
And the producers were like, can you, can you get in? Can you get in here?
52:36 - 52:39
And I was like, no, I'm quite enjoying this. There's something really good about this.
52:39 - 52:48
I don't know. I'm not sure this is what the audience needs or want. But we didn't really get Bez's view on how Louis van Gaal was doing as Man United manager,
52:48 - 52:54
but we certainly got his views on fracking. To the listeners. I'm going to have to do it.
52:54 - 53:11
Happy Mondays, popular band of the early nineties, lead singer, Sean Ryder, but was backed up at all times by a man called Bez who played maracas and took three steps forward and then three steps back.
53:11 - 53:18
And I thought that was his thing, but it turns out he's against fracking. He is against fracking.
53:18 - 53:22
Unless he was for fracking and I missed. No, I think he was that. I think he was against.
53:22 - 53:26
He was against fracking. Oh my God, the cats just come in. Oh, wow. Yeah.
53:26 - 53:37
That's Miel. The cat's called Miel, which is honey in French because it's got a slight honey vibe.
53:37 - 53:42
Whoa, it's going under the stairs. I don't think anything else is going to happen.
53:42 - 53:48
You really don't know what cats do, do you? I mean, that is literally just like, that's just a cat being a cat, isn't it?
53:48 - 53:55
I know. I just, I'm used to the dog thing, which is just like, I need to pee or I want food.
53:55 - 54:10
Or just pat me on the head quite hard. And so last night, Miel came up and sat with me in the Helen Copter and I made, I mean, all I did was brushed her or patted her the wrong way against the grave.
54:10 - 54:20
Oh, you absolute buffoon. And Miel, obviously, yeah, we've given the French accent to you, it's just like, this is the sort of thing I expected from a nincompoop like you.
54:22 - 54:30
Well, I totally agree. Okay, so it's bath time. So they both have a bath at the same time.
54:30 - 54:39
Ah, cute. Yeah, it's cute. Ian's in the bigger bath, Willie's in the smaller bath, but they're both sort of pushed into the shower in these baths.
54:39 - 54:46
That's nice. We get out. Ian wants to watch Cars, the movie. He's watched it before and he doesn't like Jeopardy.
54:46 - 54:50
There's a bit of it and he's burst into tears before, but he's getting older, so we give it a try.
54:50 - 54:57
Now, Willie. He's too young for screens, but if there's a screen on, he will turn his head like 108 degrees like an animal.
54:57 - 55:03
Oh, no. So I have to have him on my lap and hide, just put a massive cushion in the way.
55:03 - 55:09
It's not really fair on him, but that's what happens. So he's just staring at a cushion, like arching his neck all the way around.
55:09 - 55:13
It probably means a chiropractor already at five months old, but he's got the cushion.
55:13 - 55:24
I go and read him a story about, you know, things that go. It's not a classic, but, you know, that was the job for a five-month-old.
55:24 - 55:30
Jay comes in, feeds him to sleep. One down, one to go. Ian, then we watch a bit.
55:30 - 55:34
We get off cars and we watch some of the classics. What happens in cars?
55:34 - 55:48
Lightning McQueen, we haven't got very far into it, but there's a three-way tie for the piston cup between Lightning McQueen, who's sort of the star, an old guy called Dinoco,
55:48 - 55:53
and a green car with a moustache who's always come second. He's a bit of a dick.
55:53 - 56:02
But Lightning McQueen is a bit young and a bit cocky. And I think he's sort of sacking his team.
56:02 - 56:11
He thinks it's all about him. So I think we're going to learn. I'm not going to predict what happens, but we're going to learn along the way that he needs a good team behind him if he really wants to win the piston cup.
56:11 - 56:16
And how far into it are we? This presumably is the setup of Act 1 then?
56:16 - 56:21
Yeah, we're about 20 minutes in. And then Ian just wanted to watch Sticky and Dirty.
56:22 - 56:30
Okay, so Jay returns. She's got Willie down. She then says, there's no hummus or crackers or chocolate in the house.
56:30 - 56:37
What's the point? So I get in the car and I drive to IGA and I buy chocolate, hummus and crackers.
56:37 - 56:47
I park well, I think for the tape. I park really well. I also get a small bottle of apple and ginger Defender gut and immunity booster for $5.
56:47 - 56:54
And I neck it in the car because I just think, I need this. Um, I get home.
56:54 - 57:00
They have made a game, Ian and Jamie of cars and balls. And Ian says, on no account can I join in.
57:00 - 57:06
I sit a bit too close and he bursts into tears. We hummus, Jay fries, some chicken schnitzels.
57:06 - 57:11
So they're golden. I say to Ian, I'm doing bedtime. He says, you're not doing bedtime.
57:11 - 57:17
Jamie goes and does bedtime. Jamie's in the room with Ian. I opened a bottle of wine.
57:17 - 57:23
I pour a glass and it tastes like sweet nectar. I put the fries in the oven.
57:23 - 57:28
I see the Premier League fixtures out. Spurs home to Burnley. I can see them fucking that up.
57:28 - 57:39
Jay comes out. It is dinner from a box. Of course it is. There's a really nice fennel and apple salad because we wouldn't be able to buy a fennel and an apple without arriving in a box.
57:39 - 57:47
The chicken schnitzels have like an aioli underneath the panko breadcrumbs. They're really good. No criticism.
57:47 - 57:53
You'll notice there is, after the day that you've just had, yeah, this is... This is the time for dinner in a box.
57:53 - 57:56
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We watch, we're on series three of Only Murders in the Building.
57:56 - 58:02
Have you watched it? No. Oh, so good. Is it? Steve Martin is so funny.
58:02 - 58:08
The whole thing is so funny and it's good. Like we are, we need easy watching these days.
58:08 - 58:15
You know, we're not, we're not watching like heavy documentaries about, you know, nothing that's difficult to get into.
58:15 - 58:21
We need, and it's really great. I have half a Cadbury's breakaway. I have three glasses of wine.
58:21 - 58:31
I'm in bed. I'm in bed by 8.22. I regret. Yeah. I thought we were up around like 12, 13.
58:31 - 58:37
We end up watching six episodes of it. Now here's the thing. Can I reveal this?
58:37 - 58:47
As a spoiler for the Tom Basden episode, he tells me something about connections, which means I'm lying in, I'm in the day bed because Jamie, Willie doesn't like two of us in the bed.
58:47 - 58:55
So I've gone to the day bed to start the night. I'm looking at connections, but because of something Tom Basden has told me, I'm too paralyzed to attempt it.
58:55 - 59:00
So I just leave it and I go straight to Squaredle. And so that's fine.
59:00 - 59:07
I drift off. I wake up an hour or so later and Cambridge United have released their new shirt and they've done a video.
59:07 - 59:12
They've got a new crest. And the video is a host of absolute legends from Cambridge United.
59:12 - 59:18
Dion Dublin, of course. But I do the little intro. I'm doing a radio show right at the start of it.
59:18 - 59:26
I'm really excited to be part of that. If you told me as a 10-year-old, even though I wouldn't have known what these were because they didn't really have those sort of things.
59:26 - 59:31
The fact that I am like they asked me, the club asked me to do a little bit for that is great.
59:31 - 59:35
So I love that. Take us through the shirt. What brand is it? Who's making it?
59:35 - 59:41
Because we were Hummel for a while, but I don't know what this one is.
59:41 - 59:47
I'm just saying on a second. It's yellow. Is that the yellow and black? We're amber and black.
59:47 - 59:54
That's what we are. Sometimes it's quite yellow, but the, Newcrest looks quite a lot like Inter Milan's, but I really do like it.
59:54 - 59:59
Oh, we're Umbro. We've gone to Umbro in the last, maybe last year we went to Umbro.
59:59 - 1:00:06
So like very excited to see that. Interruptions. We're Cambridge United, one sponsored by Wang Computers.
1:00:06 - 1:00:14
No, Oxford United were Wang. Oh, I'm sorry. In football 86 in your sticker book. We never got to sticker book because we've never been in the top flight.
1:00:14 - 1:00:20
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just said Wang on the front of their jersey. Yeah. What was Wang?
1:00:20 - 1:00:30
But yeah, we've never been Wang for about a decade. We were sponsored by a skip company and at halftime, the youth team would bring on a skip for fans to kick the ball into.
1:00:30 - 1:00:35
But it was like it was a real skip. I just don't think it was good for the backs of the academy.
1:00:35 - 1:00:41
But we're no longer sponsored by a skip. We're sponsored by Brooks Running Shoes. This podcast is brought to you by Brooks Running Shoes.
1:00:41 - 1:00:47
So yeah, that was it. Then I sort of drifted off and then the rest of the night is for another day.
1:00:47 - 1:00:58
Yeah. It's thoughts. Thoughts are, did we heal the rift that we had over with you, Mrs. Rushden?
1:00:58 - 1:01:03
Just there was a little bit of tension when we were in the cafe that time.
1:01:03 - 1:01:09
It didn't really, we just, we both went off to say that it was entertaining to see people arguing.
1:01:09 - 1:01:14
But then I should have stepped in and said, but we did sort it all out, didn't we?
1:01:14 - 1:01:24
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we will never sort out the root of it, but we were, we were very much in love while we were booking the mold checks.
1:01:24 - 1:01:36
And the meningitis jab. So I don't want you to put me to bed, et cetera.
1:01:36 - 1:01:42
When Ian Rushden says, not you, mate, I do not want you to do this.
1:01:42 - 1:01:53
Do you take that badly? Or are you? He's three. I think if he's like that for his whole life, at some point I'll be thinking, oh, mate, this is, you know,
1:01:53 - 1:01:57
let's put some effort in it. I've done, you know, a lot of pruning. Yeah.
1:01:57 - 1:02:02
If mum's not around, you know, we get on famously, but, you know, I'm happy to be number two.
1:02:02 - 1:02:13
Sure. I'm very much to Sammy Lee. To his Lightning McQueen. Yeah. Sammy Lee was the assistant manager to Lightning McQueen throughout the 80s and 90s, famously at Liverpool.
1:02:13 - 1:02:22
A very honest day. A day. I should say, Jamie was, then in the evening, was annoyed that once again, it was my yesterday.
1:02:22 - 1:02:34
Did you, are you sorted with this trip back to England, which will be exciting when we're back on the same time again.
1:02:34 - 1:02:38
Yeah, it'll be great. It'll be great. And no, I need a cargo bike. That's, you know.
1:02:38 - 1:02:43
Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll, we'll say that again. I think there are places in London or there are shops in there.
1:02:43 - 1:02:47
We'll be fine. You know, we'll pack too much of stuff and not enough of other stuff.
1:02:47 - 1:02:52
And then the flight is honestly the worst. We should, if we record my yesterday, the day, the day after the flight.
1:02:52 - 1:02:59
Yeah. That will be an episode. I would love that. Yes. We should do, we should try and do a live show while you're back.
1:02:59 - 1:03:05
Oh yeah. We've got one. No, I was, I was trying to build it up there.
1:03:05 - 1:03:12
Just like we'd had the idea here. What are you? Why? Surely you know, David, you're in the WhatsApp group.
1:03:12 - 1:03:17
I would pencil in September the 10th in London if I were you, David. Pretty sharpish.
1:03:17 - 1:03:27
It's a good idea you just had, but, you know, I'm trying to book Gary Lineker to eat a wagon wheel on stage, David.
1:03:27 - 1:03:40
I don't know what you're doing. If you would have a spare cargo bike in London this summer or would like to get in touch with the podcast for any other reason,
1:03:40 - 1:03:49
this is how you do it. To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudoyesterdaypod at gmail.com.
1:03:49 - 1:03:57
Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.
1:03:57 - 1:04:04
And if you didn't, please don't. Thank you very much for telling me about you yesterday.
1:04:04 - 1:04:13
No, thanks, David. I hope you enjoyed it. I feel we've got a lot off our chests in this episode and we'll move forward now.
1:04:13 - 1:04:19
And we have a great guest coming up this weekend. I don't know who it is because we have a couple in the can.
1:04:19 - 1:04:23
In the can. We've got three in the can. Yeah. Great. It's exciting, isn't it?
1:04:23 - 1:04:30
Yeah, it is. It's a good one. And also, I have booked, I don't want to spoil it, but the next few weeks I have booked a former neighbour of mine.
1:04:30 - 1:04:48
But no, I'm not going to tell you who it is. Cheers, David. Bye.